Recently I met this girl and she gave me her number.
We started texting and calling each other. Then I called her one day and we talked for about 30 minutes, so I thought everything was great.
One day later I sent her a text and she didn’t write back (one day has passed since I texted her).
My question is should I text her back again or should I just forget her?
Dear Texting Guy,
To text, or not to text. That is always a big question we get from our readers who anxiously wait by their phone counting the digital minutes and seconds waiting for the chime sound of a text reply.
Take a deep breath. It’s only been one day since you sent a text that didn’t result in a reply from your new digital crush. While texting etiquette, or our Rules of Netiquettestate that you should reply within 24-hours to a text and most daters think any text that isn’t responded to in four hours means someone isn’t interested, often there are other circumstances which prevent a text reply right away.
You see, lots of things can happen when you send a text. Here are a few reasons why she might not have written back.
1. Her battery ran out.
2. Her phone was turned off.
3. She was on an airplane or in a bad cell reception area.
4. She was at a movie or out with friends and decided she’d get back to you later and just forgot.
5. She’s playing hard to get.
6. She’s not interested in you romantically.
7. She’s got a boyfriend.
Of all of these scenarios, you can look at the first few and realize she was just busy and try texting her again. If she’s involved with someone, you’ll probably find out soon enough.
The point is, we can value ourselves based on a text message that wasn’t returned. What you can do is send a short, flirty, and fun text a day or two later saying, “Hey.. How’s your day going?” This low pressure text message which asks a question might result in her getting back to you and your banter can continue.
What I don’t want to see you do is text her 4, 5, 6, 7 times in one day, because as a guy, it’s your job to make her feel safe to be around you. If you continue to text her without a reply over-and-over again, she might block you or think you’re overanxious, or worse yet, may even think you’re a stalker.
Don’t be that guy, because every woman wants to be with a confident guy. We don’t like game playing when it comes to text messages, and genuinely love to hear from you, so stay on the digital radar. You can take it one step further and actually call her if you have something fun to invite her to.
Do you have questions about your digital love life or need dating advice? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twiter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
I met this guy online before the holidays and he seemed interested in me.
The conversation pleasant enough, but I’m a little creeped out about his recent message.
In this most recent one, he asked me, Have you been single long? What kind of men are you typically interested in?” He also never put up a photo of himself.
I’ve been single for longer than I really want to mention and I don’t really have a type, but I don’t want anyone super unattractive or unhealthy.
What do you think I should do?
It’s great that you’re communicating with someone online.
When a guy posts a profile without a photo, he doesn’t really have all ten toes in.
While you’re concerned about how to respond to him, you actually don’t need to respond to him at all.
The questions he’s asked of you are generic questions. Sometimes guys just don’t know what to ask and are trying their best to open a digital dialog.
You don’t have to say how long you’ve been single to someone you’ve never met. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 3 months or 3 years. He’s single, you’re single and you’re both on a dating site.
If you feel uncomfortable, just don’t reply. If you’re still interested in getting to know him, ask him if he can post his photos so you can see who you are chatting with.
If he isn’t willing to do so, he just isn’t date ready. There are plenty of guys who are genuine and will post recent photos. Take your time and put your energies into a relationship that has the potential of turning into a pleasant date.
Keep us posted.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. She creates irresistible dating profiles for singles on the dating scene. Julie’s dating advice has appeared on eHarmony, JDate, Match.com, Zoosk, and on her columns on DatingAdvice.com, Examiner, and Huffington Post. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt, and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Listen to the holiday edition of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio show with dating experts Julie Spira and DeAnna Lorriane.
Julie and DeAnna talked about everything you need to know to find love during the holidays.
Holiday Parties: We suggested you have at least 2-3 dates before extending the invite. Cast a wide net and accept every invitation.
Holiday Gift Giving: Keep it simple. Don’t overwhelm someone you haven’t known for very long with an expensive piece of jewelry. A card, candy or flowers will make a nice impression.
Hanukkah Dating: Julie discussed her 8 Fun and Flirty Ways to Celebrate Hanukkah, including going on 8 dates a week, guilt them with gelt, the chocolate candy which is known to be an aphrodisiac, and nibbling on hot red latkes (potato pancakes).
Be Safe, Both Online and Offline: Make sure you meet your date in a public place, let a friend or buddy know where you are going, and don’t give out financial information
Be Organized: Don’t confuse Jenny with Jill or Richard with Ron. Both Julie and DeAnna recommend using an excel spreadsheet to keep your dates straight and watch your progress.
Remember, first impressions do matter. Listen to the show for all of our best dating advice for the holiday season. Make sure you have a terrific online dating profile and treat your quest to find love online no less than your search for your dream job.
Join Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira on November 6, 2010, as she welcomes back Tasha Cunningham to Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio Show.
Tasha is the founder of Don’t Date Him Girl, a site with dating advice and where you can post details of the guys you need to warn other girls about.
She wrote her book to help single women bounce back from a bad breakup with tips and advice on how to be more confident in the dating world.
Call in at 646-929-0012 at 2pm/ET, 12 noon/PT or join in on the live interactive chat room at BlogTalkRadio.com/CyberDatingExpert and learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
Listen to Cyberdating Expert
On Saturday, September 25, 2010 join Julie Spira as she welcomes Julie Ferman, Founder and President of Cupid?s Coach to Ask the?Cyber Dating Expert Radio Show.
Julie Ferman, named Matchmaker of the Year at the Internet Dating Conference, will share her dating tips and advice for singles looking for love online. ?She also recently appeared on NBC?s new dating show, ?The Match Off.”
Call in at 646-929-0012 at 2pm/ET, 12 noon/CT, 10am/PT with your questions and to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
Listen to Cyberdating Expert
Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show, where my guest Tina B. Tessina, known as Dr. Romance and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again, provided her dating advice and relationship tips for those who are newly single.
You’ll hear some of our best tips including:
♥ When and how to introduce your children to your date
♥ How to spot a player and why he’s so tempting
♥ How to find happily ever after, safely on your favorite online site.
We talked about our favorite dating tips to help you find love on the Internet. Listen to the program to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
Join me on Saturday, July 10, 2010 as I welcome Tina Tessina, Ph.D, author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again
to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.
Tina has appeared on Oprah, Larry King Live as well as being quoted in Cosmopolitan, Time, and?Newsweek with her dating and relationship advice.
Call in at 2pm/ET, 12pm/CT, 11am/PT at 646-929-0012 with your questions and to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
Listen to Cyber-dating Expert
Wow! All I can say is what an amazing show we had today for the Summer Season Premiere of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.
Match.com’s Relationship Insider Whitney Casey came armed full of dating advice for online dating success including:
- How often you should change your headline
- What to wear on your first online date
- Why men love the scent of vanilla perfume over lilac and gardenias
- How to introduce your children if you are a single parent
- Why it’s important to state your intention if you’re looking for a serious relationship or a casual relationship
- Off limits subjects such as money, politics, religion
We talked about lowering your expectations, why it’s a good idea for women should initiate contact or a wink and more.
Listen to the show to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.