Believe it or not, being snuggled up with your new date is uber romantic in a blizzard.
Before you cancel your date, here are 6 tips to help you fall in love, or “like” with snow.
1. Go on a Skype or FaceTime Date
Still have electricity or a full battery on your computer? Get dressed up with what you’d wear on a date, remember to put on your lipstick ladies, and both of you grab a glass of wine or bubbly for the occasion. Log on and have a virtual date rather than canceling.
2. Binge Watch on Your favorite Shows or Films
Snuggled up with your date? Why not spend the day or evening binge watching some romance on Netflix if you can’t be at work. From Downton Abbey to Friends, or finding a classic rom-com, you’ll be bonding with your sweetie and won’t be able turn off the TV.
3. Build a Snowman
If you can make it to his or her home, once the snow settles in, bundle up and go outside to build a snowman or make a snow angel. It’s playful and will bring you back to your youth. In between, indulge with a snowball fight or two.
4. Answer these 36 Love Questions
A Modern Love column on the New York Times reads, To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This. These questions from Psychologist Dr. Aron suggest they can help you fall in love with anybody. Some questions include: Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life and Tell your partner something that you like about them. This exercise should help you get to know each other better and has been known to be responsible for some marriages.
Not sure if that’s realistic or not? Why not give it a try.
5. Create an Indoor Scavenger Hunt
If the geography and transportation allow you to keep your scheduled date, a great way to make it fun and flirty is to create a treasure or scavenger hunt in your home. To do this, place romantic clues in envelopes around your house and number them. At each location, there will be a love note with suggestions for a kiss, a back rub, a foot massage, or whatever your imagination will allow.
6. Write a Traditional Love Note
If your electricity is out and the battery life has expired on your mobile phone, light a candle and grab and pen and paper. It’s time to get traditional and draft a hand-written love note. When you get together for your rescheduled date, hand him or her an envelope to open. You’ll be surprised how it will be received. If your penmanship isn’t the best, a lovey-dovey text never goes unappreciated.
7. Listen to This Audio Book
Download the Audible app on your mobile device and listen to the new audio book version of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. It’s four hours of dating stories and new bonus advice that will help you with your online dating journey. Our bonus chapters include the Epilogue (grab a tissue), which is after Chapter 17 on Kindle and Chapter 21 on Audible.
How has the snowstorm affecting your dating calendar?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.
Photo credit: Fotolia
View our NEW book trailer for The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.
Valentine’s Day. Love it, or hate it?
We’re about one month away from the most romantic holiday of the year.
Here’s our Valentine’s Survival Guide.
If you’re single, there’s no need to hide under the covers. If you’re dating someone, but he hasn’t asked you to be his Valentine just yet, here are some tips to enjoy the day, regardless of your relationship status. Remember, Valentine’s is on a weekend this year and it’s also during President’s Day weekend, so think big and be optimistic. It’s time to fill your date card.
1. Ramp up Your Online Search
Let’s face it, everyone seems to be online theses days, so if you’re not logging on EVERY day, checking your matches and responding quickly to his or her emails, someone else just might get their attention faster. It’s true what they say that the squeaky wheel gets the deal. If you can carve out time to go to the gym, you should be able to schedule time to log on daily. Make sure you’ve signed up for push notifications of when someone has emailed you or made you their favorite so you can respond quickly. Ditch the old waiting game rules. This is how to stand out in the digital dating world.
2. Keep Swiping Right
If you’re on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Happn or other mobile dating apps, make sure your notifications are turned on and swipe right several times a day to view your matches. When you get a mutual match, respond quickly and always use their first name when you are saying hello. Remember not to say “hey,” as horses hang out in hay. Got it?
3. Text an Ex
Did you know that 20% of singles do text an ex on or around Valentine’s Day? So if both of you are single, why not get together and go down memory lane. Make sure you’re on the same page and just enjoy the evening. You may not be rekindling, but the familiarity might just make it a fun evening rather than flying solo.
4. Attend Singles Events
The one thing about singles events is, everyone is in the same boat. They’re single and are hoping to connect with someone. Check out Match.com’s Stir events in your city, RSVP to a MeetUp for a subject you’re passionate about, and attend business networking events. The more you’re out there in the public, the more opportunities you have to flirt with a potential date. Remember not to be too coy. Be bold and smile. Dr. Pat Allen, author of “Getting to ‘I Do,'” suggests the five-second stare. It may feel like an eternity, but it may bring you closer to that cute guy across the room. P.S. Remember to wear red! It’s the color of love and romance and research has proven that guys respond more often to women wearing red. .
5. Don’t Go Overboard
From going to an amusement park to ride the Ferris Wheel to taking a cooking class or going ice skating, make Valentine’s Day a no-pressure experience if you’re in a new relationship and aren’t exclusive yet. There’s no need to break the bank.
Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?
Grab your BFF’s, dress in pink or red, and head to the movies or a concert together. Valentine’s Day isn’t always about love. It’s about spending quality time with someone you really like.
Are you a fan or foe of Valentine’s Day?
Photo credit: Fotolia
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
P.S. Our newly revised version of our bestselling book is coming out for Valentine’s Day as an audio book. You won’t want to miss hearing the Epilogue, guaranteed to warm your heart.
It’s the New Year and that means singles are signing up in record numbers to online dating sites and mobile dating apps with the hope to snag a date by Valentine’s.
At Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, we’re excited to announce our new audio book for The Perils of Cyber-Dating was just released, in time for Valentine’s Day.
Seven years after our bestseller came out, we went into the studio and spent four months in post-production with The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. It’s available on Amazon, Audible, and iTunes.
You’ll follow my journey as I attempt to replace the “Love of My Life” with an Internet mate.
The book is complete with online dating advice, fairy tale stories, a few heartbreaks, a lot of laughter, and a surprise NEW Epilogue to warm your heart and help you believe in love and happily ever after.
Here’s our book trailer with some highlights. P.S. Listen all the way to the end.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
Listen to the full Book Trailer with more excerpts
Grab your umbrellas and galoshes. It’s raining. When it rains in Los Angeles, it’s a hard news story, especially with the current drought conditions
Growing up on the East Coast, I remember the first blizzards of the season happening about the same time as our current downpour in the ‘City of Angels.’
Last year, people panicked and filled up their pantries with food and water for the first blizzard of 2015. When #Snowmageddon was heading to the East Coast with record anticipated snowfall from New York to Boston, it was a major news story.
Now, we much have needed rain to fill our empty reservoirs and drop a ton of snow on the mountains to keep the ski resorts flourishing on the West Coast.
The phenomenon in Los Angeles when it rains has always mystified me.
Golf games are canceled, birthday lunches have empty seats, movie screenings are not well-attended, and those who dare to drive tend to slam on their breaks, so accidents are abundant when it’s raining outside.
Now to the subject of dating. Don’t cancel your dates!
Singles who have filled their date cards are probably wondering whether to cancel their dates or not. Don’t be a rain-flake. There are an abundance of songs about rain that are uber-romantic, so grab your umbrellas and mobile phones, but don’t change your plans, and please don’t cancel your dates.
Whether you stay in or go out, here are some dating ideas for a rainy day or night.
1. Go on a Skype or FaceTime Date
Get dressed up with what you’d wear on a date, and remember to put on your lipstick ladies. The two of you should pour a glass of wine or bubbly for the occasion. Date night is still on, it’s just a digital date. Log on and have a virtual date rather than canceling your plans.
2. Answer these 36 Love Questions
A Modern Love column on the New York Times reads, To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This. These questions from Psychologist Dr. Aron suggest they can help you fall in love with anybody. Some questions include:
- Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life
- Tell your partner something that you like about them.
This exercise should help you get to know each other better and has been known to be responsible for some marriages.
Not sure if that’s realistic or not? Why not give it a try.
3. Watch ‘Downton Abbey’ or Binge Watch on Netflix
Snuggled up with your date? Why not spend the day or evening binge watching some romance on Netflix. If you recorded the Season Premiere of ‘Downton Abbey,’ it could be a perfect time to watch it together. P.S. There are some romantic scenes in the first episode of season six.
4. Take a Walk Under an Umbrella
Men love to be protectors. Here’s your chance guys to show her your chivalrous side. Keep that date and take a walk with her, while keeping her dry. As your cuddled up together under the umbrella, you’ll be hugging and maybe even kissing. It’s worth not canceling a date for, believe me.
5. Send Each Other Songs About Rain
Stay digitally connected with music throughout the night. It’s fun playing ‘Name that Tune’ and even William Shakespeare said, ‘If music be the food of love, play on.” From “Bus Stop” by the Hollies to Led Zeppelin’s “Rain Song,” there’s a rainy day song just for the two of you.
Read 30 Great Love Songs About Rain.
6. Create an Indoor Scavenger Hunt
If the geography and transportation allows you to keep your scheduled date, a great way to make it fun and flirty is to create a treasure or scavenger hunt inside your home. To do this, place romantic clues in envelopes around your house and number them. At each location, there will be a love note with suggestions for a kiss, a back rub, a foot massage, or whatever your imagination will allow.
7. Write a Traditional Love Note
If your electricity goes out and the battery life has expired on your mobile phone, light a candle and grab and pen and paper. It’s time to get traditional and draft a hand-written love note. When you get together for your rescheduled date, hand him or her an envelope to open. You’ll be surprised how it will be received.
Will you be canceling your dates or be taking a digital approach to stay in touch?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Dating Profiles and coach singles on the dating scene. For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.
It’s Christmas week and the stores will be packed with people picking up last minute gifts.
As a dating expert and coach, I know that for singles and those in new relationships, the holidays are filled with both joy and anxiety. It’s also peak time for online dating, so don’t be surprised if your inbox starts to fill up with new suitors.
It’s also a time for where couples breakup, as the stress of being with someone you know you can’t go the distance with makes it difficult to be together for the holidays, especially if you’ll be with his or her family. We wrote about the famous Facebook Breakup Chart a few years back, where David McClandess showed that the period between December 12-24th was one of the peak seasons for breaking up.
So what should you do about buying him or her a gift for the holidays?
Let’s talk about holiday gift giving.
Could it be that your date doesn’t want to splurge on a fancy holiday gift if you’re in a new relationship, or if times are tough on his or her wallet? What should he or she do?
If you’ve just started to date someone you’ve met online and have only had a few dates, you may wonder if should you buy him or her a lavish gift, or any gift at all. What if you’re dating multiple people? Do you need to buy everyone a gift?
While the easiest solution would be to leave town for the holidays, or even put your head under the covers, know that you’re not alone with the gift giving dilemma.
Jenna wrote to me that that she’s been dating someone for four weeks, but both of them still have active online dating profiles. Although she believes they’re exclusive, they haven’t had the talk, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s an “implied exclusive” relationship and they might not be on the same page.
Jenna would like to give her new beau a holiday gift during one of their holiday dates. However, the subject of exchanging gifts has never come up in conversation. She’s hinted about things she’d like in her stocking, but her new guy hasn’t asked her what she’d like for the holidays or made specific plans for Christmas or Christmas Eve just yet.
Jenna wonders if it’s too soon to be exchanging gifts and what she should do.
My take on the situation, is that you should always give a gift, without expecting one in return. If she sees that he loves filling in the blanks in the New York Times crossword puzzles, why not go to a bookstore or order a large puzzle book from Amazon? The cost is less than $20 and it will show the person you’re dating that you’re paying attention to things that interest him. It the thought that matters.
My boyfriend is a winemaker. He grew and nurtured his own grapes and bottled his own wine, complete with designing the wine labels. It’s something he enjoys and is proud of. For Father’s Day and his birthday, I gave him a wine stopper, one with a globe of the world on it to memorialize the trips we’ve gone on, and another with a golf ball on it, as he loves to play golf. These cherished pieces showed him that I noticed what his passions were. Wine and golf. Simple, but perfect.
Some new couples will take charge and ask each other what they’d like for the holidays. If this happens, then know that you’ll be gift shopping. For a new relationship, there’s nothing wrong with putting a budget on holiday gift giving, or suggesting going to a sporting event or concert together to celebrate an event together as a couple.
The worst thing you can do is to lavish your date with an expensive gift early on in the relationship. It may make him or her run the other way, or feel guilty that they haven’t reciprocated.
So just how appropriate would it be to give her a diamond watch or a new puppy?
Unless you’re in a serious relationship, where you have a history of buying each other a birthday present or other special gifts, don’t assume you’ll be receiving a gift, nor should you ever feel obligated to buy your date a gift. It’s impossible to ignore the holidays while listening to the Christmas songs on the radio and in the stores, but it’s the thought that counts.
Some of my favorite thoughtful gifts, which won’t break the bank include:
- iTunes song of your date’s favorite band
- Gift certificate for a movie and dinner
- Gift certificate for a massage
- A golf lesson
- An accessory or charger for his or her iPhone/iPad
- A gift certificate for a handyman for the day (for her)
- A framed photo of the two of you
- An animated card starring you! Shop JibJab!The worst thing you can do when you give your date a gift, is to ask him or her what they were planning on getting you, if it appears they aren’t reciprocating. You’ll make him or her feel uncomfortable about not taking the time to buy you a present, or they’ll feel obligated to pick up a gift and resentment could build up. It’s just too much pressure for a new relationship.
Remember, the best gift you can give each other is time spent together creating new memories. A hug and a kiss under the mistletoe is priceless. Add a card and you have a recipe for a wonderful time together this holiday season.
Julie Spira is an online dating and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, visit to sign up for the Weekly Flirt and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.
A popular topic unfortunately is the trend of ghosting. If you haven’t heard of the term, it’s when someone you’re dating, even someone who calls you their boyfriend or girlfriend just disappears, even when things appear to be going great between the two of you.
In today’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a woman writes:
We have been dating for a month, meeting almost everyday and calling it a real relationship. He even told his family and friends that he is dating me. We had a small argument over a stupid thing then he start ghosting me. I called him twice and sent text messages a few times. After our argument he posted our picture to Instagram. Two days later, he removed it.
I am confused. I removed him from Facebook and Instagram but he he hasn’t removed me from his Instagram.
My reply to this unfortunate dating dilemma:
Dear Ghost Victim,
You’re not alone. Dating someone for only one month is just that; dating. When people are dating, they are often dating others and leaving their options open to possibly date multiple people until they decide to be exclusive.
Urban Dictionary’s top definition of dating is:
Dating: “Of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.”
Being on each other’s Facebook and Instagram accounts when you’re dating is common these days. It doesn’t mean you’re exclusive and it doesn’t mean it will last forever. What I don’t know in your case is what your argument was about, but if it turned him off, chances are he pulled back. He might be dating others, he might just need his space. But if he isn’t feeling good about the two of you, it’s understandable that he’d take photos of you down from Instagram, so other women won’t think he’s taken.
You’ve already reached out a few times. He hasn’t. My best advice to you is to fill your date card, right now. It’s good that you unfriended him on Facebook, but please DON’T stalk his instagram account. I always say, “Seek and ye shall find.” If you keep looking, you’ll probably see a photo of him and another woman, or him having fun somewhere without you.
One month is too soon for a couple to know if they’ll ride into the sunset together. Ghosting after one month is common, because the level of commitment isn’t there. It’s lazy and cowardly, but it’s the easy way out.
Go out and have fun with your friends. Accept dates. Stop looking on his social media to see what he’s up to. You can wonder why, but put it behind you. He’s just another guy who ghosted because he got spooked or isn’t feeling it anymore.
If he comes back, you might already be in the arms of a great guy who won’t bolt when there’s a bump in the road.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Do you need dating advice or have a question for Julie Spira? Submit your dating questions here.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet Dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.
Emily Dickinson, one of the greatest poets in history would have been 185 years old today.
In honor of her birthday and five of her greatest quotes on love, we thought we’d share a few with you today to warm your heart.
- “If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.”
2. “To love is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.”
3. “I argue thee that love is life. And life hath immortality.”
4. “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul – and sings the tunes without the words – and never stops at all.”
5. “The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.”
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.
When Matan met Dana, he had never even used a traditional dating service. His first experience looking for love online was using the Jfiix mobile app.
As soon as he got on the app, he noticed that he suddenly got more dates than ever.
“Pretty fast, I found the one,” said Matan.
The couple got married less than one year after their first date.
Congratulations to Matan and Dana who found love using one of the newest mobile apps catering to Jewish singles.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
My how time flies! It’s hard to believe that we are in the final month of the year, the month where we celebrate with friends and loved ones, decorate our homes, and fill our calendars with holiday parties.
December is also the time of year where singles want to couple up BIG time and looking for love online is at the top of the list.
I shared in a previous blog the article in the New York Post, where a survey from our friends at Match showed that the number one gift for singles is…. a date. Yes indeed. Finding a date for the holidays ranked higher than picking out the latest tech gadget.
With that in mind, here are 5 online and mobile dating tips to help you find love and your one in 50 million online.
- Swipe Right. Yes. Apps like Tinder are responsible for some serious relationships, so ditch your old thoughts about hookups only with mobile dating apps and start swiping right.
- Favorite your Digital Crush. Online dating is a numbers game, but it’s so easy to get lost in the digital shuffle. To stand out, Super Like your match on Tinder, say yes to your daily matches on Match, and favorite or hot list someone to get their attention
- Don’t Wait. Initiate. Just because someone viewed your profile, doesn’t mean you should sit back and wait for the email to arrive. To fill your date card, you MUST be proactive. That means logging in daily, seeing who viewed your profile, and writing to 5-10 new people a day.
- Snap New Photos. While your Facebook and Instagram profiles are up-to-date with fresh new photos, your online dating profile just might need a digital face-lift. The first place to start is with the photos. Grab a few from your social networking sites or better yet, enlist the help from a friend who has a great digital camera. Snap 100 photos in 5 different outfits and have a photo selection party with your BFFs. They’ll help you select the best pics. P.S. Remember to wear red and ditch the little black dress. Red is the color of love, passion, and the stop sign. It’s also the signature color for the holidays.
- Meet IRL. The point of Internet dating isn’t to have a digital pen-pal. It’s to meet someone amazing who you click with, who you can think about every morning when you wake up. You can’t find him or her if you don’t take your relationship from online to offline. Schedule a short phone chat and if the chemistry is there, add him or her to your date card and meet in person.
As always, I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating and has been helping singles find love online and on their mobile phones for over 20 years. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.
With the story that’s hitting the news worldwide and households in fear, we tackled the subject of the Ashley Madison hack on channel 11, My FOX LA, Studio 11 LA.
In a television interview with hosts Lauren Sivan and Bob DeCastro, the question came up, do you reveal that your email was one of 25+ million revealed on Ashley Madison or do you keep it to yourself?
In a story where the World Wide Web has become the Wild, Wild, West, the issues of privacy and infidelity are now at hand for millions of members of their site. Do you kiss-and-tell or do you call a divorce attorney?
Millions of women around the world will be heartbroken. Most of the site’s members reside in the United States, with Los Angeles and New York being the top cities for members.
Trust takes time to build and a split second to lose. How do you rebuild the trust? Can you?
A site called Trustify has a page where you can search for someone’s email to see if they’ve signed up, but this doesn’t guarantee they actually paid or met someone. The ratio of men to women is about 5:1.
I’m not a fan, nor an endorser of Ashley Madison or sites like these and believe in investing your time and energy into your relationship.
Would you tell your significant other you’ve joined Ashley Madison?
Watch as we discuss this difficult subject on FOX Los Angeles.
For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating coaching programs. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com.