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7 Quotes for International Happiness Day

via GIPHY

It’s International Happiness Day and the first day of Spring!

It’s no coincidence that the start of this new season these two fall on the same day every year.

While finding happiness is an everyday goal, today we’re giving it an extra springtime boost of love. Also being happy is a great way to attract love, so start smiling and watch the miracles start to happen.

Enjoy these seven quotes about being happy from those I admire all week long, and feel free to share the love.

Happiness Day

1. “The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” – Audrey Hepburn

Ghandi Happiness Day

2. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Lily Pulitzer - happiness

3. “Being happy never goes out of style.” – Lily Pulitzer

ben franklin - happiness

4. “The U.S. Constitution doesn’t guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself.” – Benjamin Franklin

RELATED: eHarmony Says Half of Couples Are Very Happy

Eleanor Roosevelt Happiness

5. “Happiness is not a goal; it is a byproduct.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Happiness - Goldie Hawn

6. “The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are.” – Goldie Hawn

 

Happiness - leonardo di caprio

 

7. “If you can do what you do best and be happy, you’re further along in life than most people.” – Leonardo DiCaprio

Is being happy on your bucket list?

Get ready to smile and visit the official International Day of Happiness website where you can take the pledge to help create a happier world.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Instagram Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Datingtwitter - Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

10 Ways to Flirt BIG TIME on St. Patrick’s Day Weekend

Cyber Dating ExpertIt’s St. Patrick’s Day weekend, and since the holiday falls on a Saturday, the fun and activities will start on Friday.

How should you get in the spirit of this flirty holiday?

Should you be wearing green as an ice breaker?

Years ago, I would wear a button that said “Kiss Me, I’m Irish,” even though there wasn’t a speck of Irish blood in me.

To help ramp up your digital flirting skills, here’s the online dating expert’s guide to dating and flirting on St. Patrick’s Day.

1. Send a flirty text. Texting the the person you have a crush on to say “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” will brighten their day. Add a four-leaf clover emoji. Even if they aren’t Irish, chances are they’ll reply to you.

2. Wear green. Find the tackiest flashing buttons, goofiest, hats, and make sure to wear something green to celebrate. It’s the easiest way to strike up a conversation with someone on St. Patrick’s Day.

3. Change your dating profile. It’s time to mix it up online. Post a photo wearing something green, ask if someone wants to get lucky in love, post quotes about the luck of the Irish and St. Patrick’s Day on your profiles and on social media. Get bolder and post “Kiss me if you’re Irish.”

Start swiping right in the morning on Tinder, Bumble, or other mobile dating apps to find a date by the afternoon.

4. Send a GIF. Open your mobile dating app and send a fun animated GIF to your digital crush. These days, apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and even Facebook and Twitter are using Giphy.

5. Send an animated e-card. We’re big fans of JibJab!, where you send a customized a video or e-card starring you. It will come complete with background music and is guaranteed to give a smile or two.

6. Smile everywhere you go. A smile is contagious and everyone wants to be around someone who appears to be happy. Practice the 5-second stare while smiling at someone you would like to meet. It’s the cue for them to come over and wish you a “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.” Who knows where the conversation will lead?

7. Compliment everyone. You might normally run away from the guy with the tacky green tee shirt, but stop and say hello. Take it one step further and pose in a ‘selfie’ together. He won’t be able to help himself and will put his arm around you for the photo. If the sparks start to fly, it’s your invitation to continue the conversation. Be even bolder and post it, with permission of course, on Facebook or Instagram.

8. Find a parade. Go to a St. Patrick’s Day parade in your city. Everyone loves a parade and it will give you an excuse to start a conversation with those you end up bundled up with.

 

9. Go to the dog park. There’s a reason it’s called puppy love. Our friend Dr. Helen Fisher, Chief Science Officer of Match tells the New York Times that having a dog shows you’re caring and can make a good parent.

Match also reports that 50% of singles wouldn’t date someone who didn’t like pets. Put a green bandana on your dog’s collar and take a walk to the local dog park. Your dog will do the flirting for you and it will be a great conversation starter.

10. Make a Shamrock Shake. We have a healthy recipe for a Shamrock Shake that you’ll absolutely love and it can be a fun date idea. If you aren’t into buying the ingredients, and are flying solo, head to Starbucks for a coffee date and order a green tea Frappuccino, or go to a sushi bar and order green tea and green tea ice cream.

 

Wishing you much love, luck, and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her Irresistible Profiles for over 20 years.

Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

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Bumble App Bans Gun Photos to Help Singles Date Safer

Bumble Bans Guns

One thing you can say about Bumble, is they take dating safely seriously.

Bumble has been known for removing profile photos with hate messages and has a low tolerance for inappropriate behavior.

This week, Bumble announced on their blog, they’d be removing profile photos of singles holding knives or guns to the app, in response to the shootings in Parkland, Florida.

In an interview on CBS News, I spoke with KCBS reporter Rebecca Corral about this issue of whether guns should or should not appear in a dating profile.

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Rebecca:  One of the fastest growing dating apps is banning pictures of guns from user profiles. The founder of Bumble, a dating app where women have to message first, tells The New York Times that the move is in response to the recent string of mass shootings. The policy will mirror how Bumble handles nudity in photos and will only provide an exemption for users with military or law enforcement backgrounds who post pictures of themselves carrying firearms in uniform.

For more on the decision, we’re joined on the case KCBS Central Newsline by Julie Spira, a dating expert and founder of cyberdatingexpert.com Thanks very much for talking to us. What do you think?

Julie: I think it’s a great idea because people come to me, and one of the first questions they ask me is, “Julie, is online dating safe?” Bumble is taking the position that they want women to feel safer, we want everyone to feel safer.

If you see an image of somebody holding a deadly weapon, a knife or a firearm, you have the opportunity now to report that profile as suspicious, no differently than you would report their profile for hate speech.

Rebecca: On the other hand, if someone values their weapons so much that they want to take a picture of themselves posing with it, don’t you think somebody wants to know that about that guy?

Julie: That is one of the issues, because what happens is if somebody might want to swipe left on someone if they don’t agree with the gun issue.

Maybe someone will write it in their profile and happen to talk about it as one of their activities and what they like. If the photos are there, they’re going to get reported.

Members have an opportunity to actually go and dispute that. There is a little loophole, though. If someone connects their Instagram account with photos of pictures of them with guns, a user can still take a peek and know where they stand.

Rebecca: Okay. Now, I believe that Bumble was also talking about not letting people talk about their guns in their profiles, is that not the case?

Julie: Well, as of now, what I saw was the ability to report photos. If somebody is saying, “I love guns and it doesn’t bother me what happened in Parkland, Florida”, they are going to get reported.

Rebecca: Where do you draw the line then on what can’t be included in these profiles? Where do we start running into one, personal expression, and two, really revealing who you really, really are?

Julie: Well, the photos, of course– Bumble takes a position, and they take a position as the app with a feminist approach, because they want women to make that first move, but anything that makes somebody uncomfortable can be reported.

They have a crew of 5,000 people who are monitoring these profiles are going to take each and every one of them with a gun down.

Rebecca: Again, I want to push the point so you can give me the counterpoint to it. I want to know if somebody wants to take a picture of himself with a knife or a gun. If I were a user, I would want to know that.

Julie: I would want to know that too. Bumble believes users with guns do not belong in their safe, kind, loving environment, because they’re promoting love and safety and respect and kindness.

Perhaps Bumble isn’t the right site for someone who is a gun-happy person, but again, if you see pictures in somebody’s Instagram profile and they’re connected, they’re not going to delete that profile based upon an Instagram photo with a gun. If someone really wants to show that this is who they are, you can find out by looking at their Instagram account.

Rebecca: All right, Julie, thanks very much for talking to us, appreciate it. Julie Spira is a dating expert, she’s the founder of cyberdatingexpert.com.

Side note: Bumble graciously donated $100,000 to “March for Our Lives” and will not remove photos of those who are in law enforcement or the military.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira for dating advice, and SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter

Would You Break Up Before Valentine’s Day?

valentine's BreakupValentine’s Day might be my favorite holiday, but not everyone feels the same.

One of you might still be paying off credit card bills from the December holiday season, while the other is expecting a ring, there might be an explosion on the 12th or 13th.

Many couples in relationships feel the huge pressure of stepping up to a deeper commitment when they’re not on the same page with their partner, especially on Valentine’s Day.

If you feel this way, you’re not alone. It’s also proposal season, where 6 million people are expected to get engaged on February 14th. 

If ring shopping isn’t on your mind, or in your budget, it might be time to have “the talk.”

If you’re single, just seeing candy hearts, chocolates, and flowers in the grocery store is enough to put your heads under the covers.

RELATED: The Post-Valentine’s Breakup

On KABC 7, Eyewitness News, I spoke with Coleen Sullivan and Ellen Leyva on everything Valentine’s.

When asked why so many people break up before Valentine’s Day, I weighed in with my thoughts about the day so many either love, or hate.

We’ve got you covered in the Valentine’s Survival Guide, regardless of your relationship status.

View Full Interview

RELATED: 7 Ways to Find a Date by Valentine’s Day

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 24 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

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STUDY: The 2018 List of Best and Worst States for Single Daters

Wallet Hub online Dating

Should singles change their zip codes while looking for love online, or even take it further by moving to a more desirable state in the country?

A new study from WalletHub actually ranks all 50 states to determine the best and worst places for single daters.

The list breaks it down further into four categories.

  • Overall Rank
  • Dating Opportunities
  • Dating Economics
  • Romance & Fun

Digging deeper, the study shows the best states for online dating are:

  1. Washington
  2. Colorado
  3. New Hampshire
  4. Maryland
  5. Alaska

The worst states for online dating are:

  1. Mississipi
  2. Arkansas
  3. New Mexico
  4. West Virginia
  5. Louisiana

If you’re attached to your mobile phone and find yourself swiping left and right on mobile dating apps, the study shows a different digital picture.

wallet hub mobile dating

The best states for mobile dating apps are:

  1. Utah
  2. Maryland
  3. Colorado
  4. Massachusetts
  5. New Jersey

The worst states for mobile dating opportunities are:

  1. West Virginia
  2. Mississipi
  3. Arkansas
  4. Alabama
  5. Kentucky

Overall, California ranks as number one on the list. Perhaps the sunshine, Rose Bowl, and Disneyland contributed to that score. Just behind California is Florida, with New York coming in at number three.

Arkansas ranked at the bottom of the list as the worst place for singles.

This list shows the top 10 ranked states in the country.

Is your state on this list?

Wallet Hub Best States Dating

This map below, highlights each state to see where they rank.

Click on your state to find out the overall rank, and think about casting a wider net while looking for love online.

Source: WalletHub

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Do Singles Click “Add Friend” on Facebook Before a Date?

I regret to inform you I will not be liking your status.

To friend, or not to friend on Facebook and social media? That question has been brewing for over a decade for singles who are excited about dating someone new.

The 2018 Singles in America Study conducted by Match has revealed some social media etiquette rules on how over 5000 singles prefer to connect when it comes to dating in the digital age.

With so much information available on the Internet, it’s a piece of digital pie to become a cyber-sleuth. From stalking (we mean searching) on public profiles on Instagram or Twitter, to conducting a google image search, there’s so much we can find out in advance.

In their survey, they found nearly 2/3 of singles use social media daily, with both men and women using social media to research their date.

RELATED: To Friend, or Not to Friend on Facebook

Social Media Before the First Date

Match tackled the question in their study with a pop quiz, asking “When do you hit the ‘Add Friend’ button?

While the majority (41%) prefer taking it slow, both online and offline, and say they’d wait until after a few dates, still 19% of singles actually take the leap and ask to become friends before a first date.

Let’s keep in mind there’s so much digital foreplay going on with texting, calling, and chatting online, that by the time many get to a first date, they feel like they’ve been dating for a while.

Prior to the first date, 20% of singles said they would ‘like’ a photo and 23% would strike up a private chat in Facebook messenger or on Instagram.

RELATED: Rules of Netiquette – Dating in a Facebook World

Post-Date Social Media Rules

Similar to those who are quick to click to become friends, 18% say they will only send a friend request once the relationship became serious.

After all, if you’re dating multiple people and playing the field, you really won’t want your date to see your whereabouts when you’re not together.

The survey showed that singles are most comfortable becoming friends on Facebook (75%) after a few good dates, as well as 36% approve of following on Instagram, lagging with 34% adding on SnapChat, and 40% would tag someone in a post.

To Tag, or Not to Tag?

When in doubt about posting and tagging, always ask for permission. Remember some people use social media for business purposes, and others don’t want a relationship that could become complicated appearing in the news feeds of their friends.

Once it gets serious, 66% actually changed their profile photo to a couples picture and say it’s find to become Facebook official. However only 13% of singles surveyed do change their status to “In a Relationship.”

At what point in the dating process would you become friends on social media?

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

 

Mobile Love: 2018 Report – Singles Are Swiping More on Dating Apps

Liftoff Mobile Dating

Photo credit: Liftoff

As Valentine’s Day is upon us, the annual dating apps report from Liftoff, shows mobile dating app usage increased by 50% at the start of ‘Cuffing Season.

When weather gets colder and the desire to couple-up increases, your mobile phone can become both your BFF and your personal wingman or wingwoman.

With over 1500 dating apps to choose from, it becomes easier to find a date in a digital split second.

In a press release, Liftoff stated:

“New data from Liftoff shows that to get that cold-weather love, people are eschewing the “traditional” method of dating and turning to dating apps as their primary means of finding an S.O.”

According to the report, in January 2017, Tinder alone revealed it observes users spending around 90 minutes a day in-app, logging in at least 11 times.

Singles Join Dating Apps During Breakups and in Colder Weather

The data comes from more than two dozen of the top dating apps, and confirms the trends that singles will be flocking to dating apps during the times they are finding themselves single.

The famous Facebook breakup chart that we often talk about shows the peak times couples split, right before Christmas, and then again heading into Spring Break.

In their report, I was cited on the seasonal trends of breakups and increased mobile dating app usage.

Julie Spira, an award-winning dating coach and internationally recognized cyberdating expert, sums it up best. “Couples who look deliriously happy on Facebook are breaking up around Thanksgiving,” she writes on her blog advising readers to “let their mobile phone be their BFF” in the search for the right partner for the year ahead. 

Break up chart

Dating Apps are Going Global

Dating apps aren’t just a local-based. Thinking out of the box, most of the major apps are expanding internationally, now in 50+ countries, as reported by the BBC.  If your plans include travel and a Passport, make sure to open your apps while out of the country, to meet interesting people abroad.

Russia and Brazil top the list of the most downloads, with the US coming in at 25%.

Mobile Dating Apps

The report concludes:

“Today mobile and matchmaking are one in the same. Swiping in public is as popular as sending a text. It’s why the market is witnessing an avalanche of mobile dating apps, gaining traction (and market share) by appealing to Long Tail tastes for apps that help people nd dates, mates and even BFFs.”

To access this full report, visit Liftoff.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, is the creator of Mobile Dating BootCamp, and as an award-winning dating coach, has been helping singles find love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

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Is Dating Multiple People is a Good Idea

Dating Multiple People

A few questions we get asked often at Cyber-Dating Expert, is “how many people should I be dating at a time?”

“Can I date more than one person, and should I tell the people I’m dating that I am?”

I know it’s exciting to see so many people interested in meeting you and it can become overwhelming at times.

If you’re wondering what the magic number of people you should be dating at once is, or when you should become exclusive, my interview with Global news shares how to date, without becoming a player.

Dating Multiple People

Highlights of the interview are featured in this video.

For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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FULL STORY at Global News

Let’s Talk About Food – Zoosk Survey Reveals What Singles Should Order on a Date

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Let’s talk about food. It’s Thanksgiving week, which means that Christmas will be here in a digital minute.

With all of the food consumption going on during the holidays and with singles dating up a storm in ‘cuffing season,’ our friends at Zoosk decided to survey 7000 singles to gauge their feelings about the most popular food to eat on a date.

If you’re planning on perusing a menu, or cooking up a storm for your date, here are some surprising facts about food and online dating, to help you decide what to order on date night, or write in your profile to get more messages.

Food Fact 1: Guacamole is the Most Popular in a Profile. 

Food - guacamole

While you might think mentioning chocolate would get the most responses, it actually ranked at number three. While analyzing over 3.7 million dating profiles and more than 364 million first messages, those who mentioned “guacamole” in their profile received 144% more messages. Who knew that mashed avocados would be so sexy? In between the guacamole and chocolate, potatoes ranked at number two, with 101% more messages.

Food Fact 2: Fried Chicken and Yams are the Worst To Mention in a Profile.

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If you’ve got a craving for fried chicken or yams, don’t order it on a date, list it in your profile, or cook it for your date. The Zoosk survey found mentioning yams resulted in a 70% decrease in inbound messages, with fried chicken ranking with a 15% decrease.

Food Fact 3: Foodies are Sexy.

via GIPHY

While saying you’re a “foodie” can sound as cliché as “taking a beach” walk or going from “jeans to black tie,” it’s true that the way to a man’s heart is often through his stomach. With that in mind, if you really love unique restaurants and keep up on the latest food trends, say so. The survey found profiles that include the word “foodie” receive 82% more incoming messages, while those who mention the word “cook” receive 26% more incoming messages.

Food Fact 4: Seafood is the Most Popular Food to Order on a Date.

via GIPHY

Have a dinner date? If you love seafood, you’re at the top of the list. The survey showed that seafood ranked the highest at 19% for online daters for their favorite date-night food, while steak came in as a close second at 18%. Does sushi count as seafood? Well, almost. Sushi ranked at number 5 at 8%.

Food Fact 5: Chocolate Covered Strawberries are Still the Sexiest.

via GIPHY

When I cook a romantic dinner, often I will pick up chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. Next to feeding each other crème brûlée, it’s the most romantic dessert I know of, and the Zoosk survey agreed with 34% ranking it as number one. Wine and cheese came in second place at 28%. There’s no need to get too fancy, as caviar ranked at the bottom of the list at 1%.

Click here for complete details on the Zoosk survey.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

FIND OUT how Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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How to ACE Meeting His Adult Kids at the Holidays

 

Meeting Kids at Holidays

Being in a relationship with someone during your first holiday together can be both exciting, as well as filled with emotions and anxiety.

While meeting someone’s parents is a big deal, meeting your significant other’s children is a bigger deal. It’s quite possible they might have not met another woman besides their mother, and may be examining you with a cautious eye.

If your partner’s divorced or a single dad, chances are he’ll have family commitments that may or may not include you.

Before you start stuffing his turkey or filling his Christmas stocking with something fancy or coal, take a BIG deep breath and follow these tips to ensure they will love you just as much as your guy does.

1. Communicate. Talk to your significant other about logistics. Decide where you’ll be meeting his family and how long you’ll be staying there. Chances are his kids may want to see their friends as well over the holidays and meeting you won’t be as high on their priority list as it is on yours.

2. Control the PDA. While you’re used to being lovey-dovey together, there’s no getting around the fact that his kids will imagine you having sex with their dad. While they want to see him happy, they’d rather visualize the two of you fully clothed. Stick to hand holding and a hug and avoid sitting on his lap.

3. Include Laughter. Nothing will lighten up a potentially stressful situation (ie: meeting the family) than a joke and the ability to smile and laugh. Keep the jokes G-rated, regardless of the everyone’s age. Remember to stay positive and leave your baggage behind. If his kids see you’re a happy person, they’ll project to you making their dad happy as well.

4. Don’t Talk About Their Mom. The kids you’re meeting, even if they’re adult children, will always give their loyalty to their mom. Even if they realize the split was for the best, they will have years-and-years of memories of the family celebrating the holidays together.  Avoid the urge to say something about his ex, even if it’s sharing his mumbling sentiments, or a recent memory that gets brought to the table. They already have a mom and you’re not signing up to be an instant step-mother. Show respect for their mother to avoid any uncomfortable feelings.

5. Bring a Gift. If you’re going to their adult children’s home, bring a thoughtful gift, such as a holiday basket or a candle so you don’t show up empty-handed. Don’t do the complete opposite by smothering them with gifts from a stranger. If the kids are school-age, bring each of them a small gift, so they have something to open.

6. Avoid Taking Photos. Let your boyfriend or his kids be in charge of snapping photos when you meet. His family won’t be sure if you’ll be sticking around, so posting them on social media is a netiquette no-no.

7. Give a Hug. There’s something warm about hugging someone hello or goodbye. If you greet them with a handshake and your get together goes well, leave with a quick goodbye hug to show affection to your boyfriend’s kids, so they can welcome you warmly to the family and be happy for their dad.

Let your boyfriend know you’re excited you are to meet his children and that you’re proud that he thinks enough about your relationship to show that you’re officially a couple.

Remember, he’s nervous that it will go well too. Be genuine and warm.

Wishing you much love and joy at the holidays.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and was an early adopter of the Internet. Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating coaching programs.

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Photo Credit: Fotolia

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