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Tinder Love Story – Rachel and Jason

Tinder Jason and Rachel

Meet Rachel and Jason who fell in love on the Tinder mobile dating app. She shared how the two met with some heartwarming details about their courtship.

When Rachel first saw her now-husband on Tinder, she said, “I thought he was handsome!  Initially, all I had to go off of were his pictures. One in particular, of him standing in a park in a navy hoodie got me. He was good looking but there was also something warm about his smile. To be honest, he seemed out of my league but I went for him anyway.”

RELATED: A Love Expert Critiqued Our Tinder Profiles

How long did it take to meet “IRL” (in real life) and when did your courtship begin?

“Interestingly, we agreed to make plans almost right away as we had initial good banter back and forth and enough in common that I felt comfortable meeting…. but we scheduled the actual date a couple of weeks out. I had just moved to L.A. and wasn’t free for a couple of weeks for what would end up being my second Tinder date ever, and on his end (while I didn’t realize it at the time), he had been out on so many Tinder dates prior to meeting me that his expectations were not exceedingly high, so he was totally content to wait.”

When did you know or become exclusive (how long before?) and how did you know he/she was the one?

“I would say we went from 0-60 very quickly.  Our first date was February 13th, 2014 we both went strategically radio silent on Valentine’s Day and then we made plans and went out on our second date on February 15th.  I think we were formally exclusive within the first 2 months, although truthfully, I was probably a little slower than he was to get the memo.

RELATED: These Names Will Get You the Most Right Swipes on Tinder

I had literally just moved to L.A. from New York a month and a half prior, and was going out of my way to meet new people.  And I was coming from Manhattan where people just didn’t seem to take dating quite as seriously as they do in L.A.  My husband claims he had worked his way through half of Tinder before meeting me and was a little burnt out on the process and thus ready to be serious. It was so refreshing to actually meet a guy who was interested in getting to know me, spending time with me and who was not looking to play games.”

Rachel and Jason have been together for 3.5 years now. They’re married and have a 7-month-old baby girl.

RELATED: Oh no! She Found Her Boyfriend on Tinder

Congratulations to Rachel and Jason, our Tinder Love Story.

Photo credit: Camilla Greenwell

Have you met someone special on Tinder or other mobile dating apps? We’d like to hear from you. 

CONTACT US to share your story.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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Watch Match: The Musical for a Smile

Match the Musical

I’ve always said that music can be an important part of your online dating profile and our friends at Match agree.

I’ve encouraged singles to include their favorite bands, use song lyrics for screen names, or list the upcoming concerts they’re scheduled to attend.

Many dating apps give you the ability to link your spotify account to your profile to see if you have similar musical taste, which is a great ice breaker.

Taking it a step further, Match created this fun musical video about a couple who met online and are excited about their new found relationship. The two are in serious crush mode and it will make you smile.

Watch this video of Match: The Musical

You just might find yourself humming along and clicking the replay button and logging on more often to find that same type of connection.

RELATED: How Music Can Improve Your Dating Profile

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. As an early adopter of Internet dating, she’s been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

CLICK HERE for 25% of  you membership to Match

Jay-Z and Beyoncé – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Access Hollywood Live - Julie Spira

Jay-Z and Beyoncé. The perfect Hollywood romance, or is it?  We love to watch love in Hollywood unfold, feel betrayed when there’s a bump in the road, and watch with enthusiastic eyes when there appears to be a Hollywood Happily-Ever-After story.

On Access Hollywood Live, this story aired and as a dating and relationship expert, I was asked to join hosts Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover to talk about their relationship.

Jay-Z dropped a bomb in his mini-documentary

Jay-Z made a big confession in a mini-documentary for his new album, 4:44, and said his relationship with Beyoncé wasn’t based on truth. In a video played on Access Hollywood Live, this is what Jay-Z said:

Jay-Z: “I just ran into this place and we built this big beautiful mansion of relationship. I mean, that wasn’t totally built on 100% truth, and then it start cracking, and then things start happening that the public can see. You know what I’m saying? And then we had to go to a point it’d be like, “Okay, tear this down and let’s start from the beginning.” By far, and I’m telling you, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

When asked what I thought about it and if a couple could get over infidelity, I explained, 

“Every relationship takes a lot of work, but when you’re in the public eye and you’re a celebrity, people look for the little cracks in relationship. They look to see if something is wrong. Now, we’ve got a confession – and a very public confession. It’s going to take a while to rebuild, and both parties seem to want to rebuild this relationship. Again, this confession is very public. It will sting, it will sting for a while.”

When asked if Jay-Z’s public admission would make her or women in general, forgive quicker, I replied with:

“Forgiveness is something that we all need to practice. It’s just a question of building trust. Really, we’re building that trust.”

Beyonce and Jay-Z
By the end of the week, Beyoncé posted a photo of her twins for the first time on Instagram. Yes, Hollywood couples go through big public bumps in the road and we hope for nothing but happiness for Jay-Z, Beyoncé, and their family.

Next up, we chatted about Ben Affleck’s new public romance with SNL producer Lindsay Shookus, after the couple appeared together regularly in New York and Los Angeles.

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert, and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

5 HOT Dating Tips for Summer Love

Summer Heart

There are many reasons why having a summer romance has become a popular trend. The weather is warm, your outfits show more bare skin, it’s bikini weather and beach volleyball time, chemisty is proven by science to heighten in the sunshine, and the list goes on.

With Fourth of July around the corner, it’s time to think about the fireworks in the sky and in your relationship.

Here’s how to have a sizzling hot summer filled with love and romance online and IRL

 1. Change your mobile dating app and online photos to include outdoor shots

Replace the winter ski photos, with boating, water, golfing, hiking, and anything that includes sunshine.

2. Start Using Emoticons and GIFs in Your Messages

 Many mobile apps including Tinder and Bumble include the option to use giphy, which is a lot of fun. If you seem like a fun person to be around, you will get more matches and your date card will start filling up.

 3. Host a Barbecue

Barbecue

Invite your single friends and ask them to bring another single friend. Grilling is fun and guys love taking charge at the BBQ. Make it a pot luck event and start getting out IRL.

RELATED: 10 ABSOLUTELY Fun Dating Ideas for Summer

4. Change Your Relationship Status to Single on Facebook

Facebook Relationship Status

You might still be recovering from a breakup, but facebook could be the world’s largest dating site if they wanted to be. Change your relationship status and you might find a secret crush emerging. Be open to the possibilities.

RELATED: When to Change Your Facebook Relationship Status

5. Log on Twice a Day to Dating Apps and Sites and Reply Promptly

via GIPHY

I have a saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” Ditch those old waiting rules and remember, when someone joins a dating site or mobile app, it’s because they want to meet someone. If you wait around a day or two, don’t be surprised if you hear back that they’ve met someone and want to date exclusively. Don’t underestimate chemistry. When a couple clicks, they often stop dating to see where the relationship will go.

At the end of the digital day, smile as bright as the sun to find a great reflection called love.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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What to Do When He Cancels Your Date

canceled date

So you’ve met a great guy online and he’s asked you out again because you had off the chart chemistry and the conversation just flowed on your first date.

Congratulations! You’re making it past the one-and-done dating grind, which is common for online daters and singles using mobile dating apps.

What happens next? You give your girlfriends the good news about your hot date and you and your date get into a groove texting each other every day. Good morning and good night texts keep you connected and keep the very important momentum going during the early stages of dating.

Finally, the day comes when you’re going on your second date with your dream guy, so you pick up your favorite date dress from the dry cleaner’s, get your hair blown dry during lunch so you can look and feel remarkable, and everything feels great.

Then the familiar chime of his customized text rings on your phone. You smile, because you’re sure he’s as excited as you are about the date and he’s just sending a text to confirm your date like a true gentleman.

It’s an hour until date time and as you look down at your phone, your heart falls to your knees. The text says,

“Sorry…have to cancel, not feeling well. Can we reschedule?”

Your gut says, hey he knew he was sick all day and I just spent $50 on a blow dry. This is not cool. You’re not happy and you’re not even sure if he’s sick, found someone else, got back together with his ex, or if he double booked dates on calendar by mistake. Let’s face it, texts like these do happen while dating in a digital world.

RELATED: Gone Fishing, or Is It Over?

What’s a girl to do? The first thing not to do is pout. If you’re both dating online, realize you’re dating other people until you decide to be exclusive. Sure, maybe he got sick and was excited to see you and was hoping he’d feel better by 5pm. Maybe the dog ate his paper and you don’t recall him mentioning having a dog. Maybe he had a work project he had to deal with and felt it was easier to say he wasn’t feeling well. It doesn’t matter. You’re date-ready and his text might be the beginning of the end, or at least the end of a well-planned date.

Here’s the thing about when someone cancels a date.

You really don’t know why he canceled and after going on only one date together, you don’t need to be a cyber detective and make yourself crazy.

RELATED: How to Handle the Dreaded Pull Back

Here’s what you don’t do:

  • Don’t check his Instagram or Facebook to see his last check in or post.
  • Don’t text him more than once to see how he’s feeling.
  • Don’t assume he’s double dipping. The guy really could have come down with the flu.
  • Don’t bitch about it on social media. No one wants to see a “Debbie Downer.”
  • Don’t stay home. You’re already date-ready and you might even meet someone more exciting.

Here’s what you should do:

  • Do give him the benefit of the doubt if he does indeed reschedule. Guys don’t do well with being sick and if it’s contagious, he’s doing you a favor by canceling.
  • Do reply to his text and ask if you can bring over chicken soup!
  • Do find a girlfriend and go out anyway or go online and see if some guy you’ve been chatting with is free to meet you for a drink.
  • Do find your favorite happy hour and go flirt up a storm. Remember to smile and say hello to strangers.
  • Do wait for your date to reach out and reschedule and show him that you can go with the flow, this one time.

RELATED: What to Do When He Pulls Back

If you end up going on the rescheduled makeup date, don’t bring up the reasons your previous date was canceled. Act like it’s still a first date and let him get enamored with you and continue to pursue and court you.  Make sure another date is put on the calendar after the end of a fabulous date, so you can look forward to seeing each other again. Keep the momentum going.

If the same guy cancels again, let him go. It’s time for you to find an available man who won’t look at you as an option, and won’t be playing games and tugging at your heartstrings.

Remember to keep your online dating profile active while you’re casually dating, so you can fill  your date card or chat on your mobile dating app. Perhaps you should kick the date canceler to the curb.

You deserve better and you will find someone else in the crowded digital playground called online dating.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her signature Irresistible Profiles for over 20 years.

Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook

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7 Quotes To Feel Lucky on St. Patrick’s Day

It’s that time of year again to put on your most stylish green shirt or dress, don a “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” pin, dance a jig, and order a green beer, or at least green tea if you fancy a healthier choice.

Here are 7 Quotes to Help You Feel Lucky on St. Patrick’s Day

St. Patrick's Quotes

“Luck is believing you’re lucky.” – Tennessee Williams

St. Patrick's Quotes

“Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it.” – Robert Mitchum

St. Patrick's Quotes

“The best luck of all is the luck you make for yourself.” – Douglas MacArthur

 

Related: 10 Ways to Flirt on St. Patrick’s Day

St. Patrick's Quotes

“In the long run, you make your own luck – good, bad, indifferent.” – Loretta Lynn

St. Patrick's Quotes

“Good luck needs no explanation.” – Shirley Temple

St. Patrick's Quotes

“Luck affects everything. Let your hook always be cast; in the stream where you least expect it, there will be a fish.” – Ovid

Related: Love Potions Shamrock Shake

St. Patrick's Quotes

“Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.”  – Seneca

Whether you’re Irish and are holding a four-leaf clover, or are feeling lucky in love on this March day, we wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Instagram Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Datingtwitter - Julie Spira

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Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

Love knows no boundaries

“Love knows no reason, no boundaries, no distance. It has a sole intention of bringing people together to a time called forever.” ~Unknown.

While looking for love online, remember to cast a wide net and change your zip code. People move for love all of the time. Your next love just might be a zip code, state, or country away.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for Dating Advice

3 Reasons Why Guys Ghost

Why Men GhostAs a ghosting expert, I’ve heard every wacky and excuse as to why someone ghosted you.

Imagine this scenario. You’ve been seeing a great guy for weeks now and you think this one’s a keeper.

You get daily texts from him, see him on weekends, and he’s called you his girlfriend.

Then one day out of nowhere, POOF. He’s gone. MIA. No texts. No calls. No dates. No closure.

Here are three reasons why guys ghost after a great date.

1. They have a girlfriend, and it’s not you.

Unfortunately there are lot of people dating when they’re not single. Perhaps the relationship is on a bumpy road, or maybe they want to look at other options. A survey has found that about 40% of people on Tinder aren’t even single. For these reasons, guys swipe right for validation, or because there’s something missing in their relationship. When it gets to the point of getting serious, they have to bail. The easiest way is to ghost and disappear.

READ MORE: Most Millennials Have Been Ghosted

2. They have commitment issues.

Some guys just can’t go the distance. They love the excitement of a new relationship, especially the chase. They go on three-week intervals and when they see they have to step it up to make a deeper commitment, they bail with no trail or reason why. This is painful for women who want closure. They think things are going well and then suddenly their BF goes MIA and ghosts.

3. They’re playing the field.

There’s a lyric in the Stevie Nicks song Dreams, “Players only love you when they’re playing.” Guys like these like to play the field and believe dating is a numbers game. Once their date card is overflowing, someone has to be deleted. When it’s you, you won’t know why. If they text you 3 times a day and call every day and see you on weekends, you think you’re in a relationship. The problem is, you’re just in rotation.

What should a woman do if she’s been ghosted?

The worst thing you can do is to keep trying to reach him. You will appear needy, obsessive, and it will be a turn off for a guy. If he disappears, just realize it’s his loss. There is no closure. You can be sure he’s ghosting someone else right now, while you trying to decide what to text him next.

READ MORE: Ghosted for the First Time

My best advice is to move on and be open to finding someone else. By the time he comes back, and he probably will, you might be in the arms of a great guy, where ghosting is not a part of his vocabulary.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating, Mobile Dating, and Ghosting Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online and helping heal hearts after someone’s been ghosted. Julie’s been crowned “Best Dating Coach” of the year at the iDate Awards and ranks as the most influential person in dating and online dating in social media.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, & Facebook for dating and ghosting advice.

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Photo credit: Fotolia

3 Online Profile Photos To Avoid This Valentine’s Day

Valentine's Day

As we get closer to Valentine’s Day, we’ve got you armed for everything including finding a date, selecting a gift, date ideas that are affordable, and how to create an Irresistible online dating profile.

Speaking of profiles, Cyber-Dating Expert friend, Michelle G., CRS® has some fabulous advice in her guest post: 3 Online Profile Photos to Avoid This Valentine’s Day.

———————————————————————————————————–

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s a great reason to give your online dating profile a mini-digital makeover. The rise in photo-centric and location-based dating apps reveals that singles prefer the story your photos tell about you to reading your written answers.

Here are the 3 biggest profile mistakes when uploading photos to your online dating profile:

1. The Bathroom Mirror Selfie
Bathroom Selfie Shot

Nothing screams, “I’m lonely” louder than taking a picture of yourself in a cloudy bathroom mirror right before you head out for the night. It says, “I have no one who can take a decent picture of me,” plus it looks tacky and lazy.

MG Tip: If you’re going to take a selfie, use a selfie stick! Worried about a round face? Hold your phone vertically for a slimming effect. Have a long and angular face? Shooting a self on landscape mode (or holding the phone horizontally) will highlight your most flattering features.

RELATED: Valentine’s Gift Ideas for Every Relationship Stage

2. The Cropped-Out Ex

They’re your “ex” for a reason! Singles aren’t interested in seeing you with a past flame. Instead, they want to see the possibility of being a part of your life on their own two feet and without being blamed for past baggage.

MG Tip: If you’re looking through your phone for what photos to use without your ex or without a bunch of friends around you, it’s time to invest into a personal photoshoot.

RELATED: What Do I Do If He Doesn’t Ask Me Out For Valentine’s Day?

3. The Inside Joke

Captions - Online Dating Profile

If you have to use a descriptive caption to tell the story of a picture, then that photo doesn’t need to be on your profile. Your photos shouldn’t require an explanation; they should be a glimpse into your lifestyle and adventures. There is a right time to be witty, but that time isn’t with your photo gallery.

MG Tip: The best types of photos are ones that show your open body language and a flirty smile. The key is for you to look approachable, even through your tablet’s screen!

According to a recent research study, you have approximately 3-6 seconds before a match makes a decision about whether to engage with you. Let your photos enhance your online profile; not take away from it.

About Michelle G.

Michelle G is a Certified Dating and Relationship Specialist (CRS)® and the author of the #1 best selling book, Relationship SOS: Seven Lifelines to Rescue Your Emotional Intimacy Now.  She is passionate about helping singles and couples answer the question, “How can I have the relationship I’m looking for?”… Michelle and her team focus on helping singles find the love of their lives through profile writing services and her online coaching programs. Her mission is to teach singles and couples the best practices for having healthy relationships–including the one you have with yourself.

Michelle is frequently featured in the media as a dating & relationships expert, and her articles have been featured in the Huffington Post, Singles Warehouse, and other national publications.

FOLLOW @AskMichelleG on Twitter

RELATED: 7 Tips to Get Lucky in Love This Valentine’s Day

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

Photo credits: Fotolia


Super Bowl Sunday Quote of the Day

Happy Super Bowl Sunday. Whether you’re rooting for the New England Patriots, the Atlanta Falcons, or are just watching the half-time show with music icon, Lady Gaga, this quote from the late and legendary coach Vince Lombardi is one worth sharing and believing in every day of the week.

Quote of the Day

Remember that Sunday is the busiest day of the week for people signing on to dating sites and mobile dating apps. So keep that open during game time and especially after one of the teams goes home with the ring.

READ MORE: How to Land a Date by Valentine’s

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert and Award-Winning Dating Coach @JulieSpira on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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