In the News

Julie Spira on Ashley Madison – My Fox LA

FOX Ashley Madison

With the story that’s hitting the news worldwide and households in fear, we tackled the subject of the Ashley Madison hack on channel 11, My FOX LA, Studio 11 LA.

In a television interview with hosts Lauren Sivan and Bob DeCastro, the question came up, do you reveal that your email was one of 25+ million revealed on Ashley Madison or do you keep it to yourself?

In a story where the World Wide Web has become the Wild, Wild, West, the issues of privacy and infidelity are now at hand for millions of members of their site. Do you kiss-and-tell or do you call a divorce attorney?

Millions of women around the world will be heartbroken. Most of the site’s members reside in the United States, with Los Angeles and New York being the top cities for members.

Trust takes time to build and a split second to lose. How do you rebuild the trust? Can you?

A site called Trustify has a page where you can search for someone’s email to see if they’ve signed up, but this doesn’t guarantee they actually paid or met someone. The ratio of men to women is about 5:1.

I’m not a fan, nor an endorser of Ashley Madison or sites like these and believe in investing your time and energy into your relationship.

Would you tell your significant other you’ve joined Ashley Madison?

Watch as we discuss this difficult subject on FOX Los Angeles.

For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating coaching programs. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com.

Fun Summer Dating Ideas

Big red Heart shape on sandy beach by the ocean

Happy Summer!

With Fourth of July around the corner and on a weekend as well, it’s time to start thinking about fun things to do with your date.

This year, Friday is the official start of the three day weekend, so start thinking about fireworks online and offline and check out ten of the best summertime first date ideas that won’t break the bank, nor will it put too much pressure on a date with someone new.

Happy dating and enjoy the sunshine all summer long.

 

Ferris Wheel - Summer Date Ideas

1. Ride the Ferris Wheel.

Go to an amusement park and ride the Ferris Wheel or even the roller coaster, if you dare.

 

Festival concept.

2. Find a free outdoor concert.

Bring a picnic meal and a blanket and take in the sounds of local artists. Some museums and parks actually have well-known musicians.

Drive in movies dating ideas

3. Watch an outdoor movie.

While drive-in theaters have become obsolete, the trend of watching movies on a big screen at a shopping center or local park has become all the rage.

Bar-B-Q or BBQ

4. Barbecue.

Make sure to go grocery shopping together to spice up the date. Cooking together can be filled with laughter. Don’t forget to pick up chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers to make s’mores for dessert.

bike riding date

5. Go on a bike ride.

Make it more memorable by renting a bicycle built for two! Remember to take photos and of course, ask for permission before posting to Instagram.

Beach Yoga Date

6. Take a Beach Yoga Class.

Yoga is sexy on a date. Remember to bring your sunscreen. If you don’t live near a beach, check out the many outdoor classes in a park.

Chefs at work

7. Take a cooking Class.

Stores such as Sur le Table nationwide have cooking classes on their calendar. If you can’t find one near you, check out the local universities and colleges or a MeetUp group for foodies.

car icon set illustration

8. Snack at the Food Trucks.

Many neighborhoods have a food truck day. Find out which day or night they’ll be parked in your neighborhood. From the healthy green truck to a spicy Mexican cuisine, there’s a favorite truck for every type of palate.

Baseball heart

9. Go to a baseball game.

It’s the season for America’s favorite past time. Nibble on peanuts and Cracker Jack and enjoy the 7th inning stretch. Check the MLB.com website for dates and times. Not in a baseball city, find a minor league game near you.

Zoo dating

10. Go to a zoo.

It’s fun to feed the animals at the zoo Take it a step further and walk into the petting zoo and spend time with the llamas and sheep.

Don’t forget to memorialize your fun outdoor date by snapping photos. Who knows, you just might end up with a nice kiss at the end of the date to add to your digital memory book.

Follow @JulieSpira for online dating advice and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She coaches singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs to help them find love offline.

8 Reasons She Didn’t Reply to Your Text

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowHi Cyber-Dating Expert,

Recently I met this girl and she gave me her number.

We started texting and calling each other. Then I called her one day and we talked for about 30 minutes, so I thought everything was great.

One day later I sent her a text and she didn’t write back (one day has passed since I texted her).

My question is should I text her back again or should I just forget her?

Read: Does Texting Make Your Dating Life Crazy

Dear Texting Guy,

To text, or not to text. That is always a big question we get from our readers who anxiously wait by their phone counting the digital minutes and seconds waiting for the chime sound of a text reply.

Take a deep breath. It’s only been one day since you sent a text that didn’t result in a reply from your new digital crush. While texting etiquette, or our Rules of Netiquettestate that you should reply within 24-hours to a text and most daters think any text that isn’t responded to in four hours means someone isn’t interested, often there are other circumstances which prevent a text reply right away.

Read: 5 Texting Tips to Help Improve Your Relationship

You see, lots of things can happen when you send a text. Here are a few reasons why she might not have written back.

1. Her battery ran out.

2. Her phone was turned off.

3. She was on an airplane or in a bad cell reception area.

4. She was at a movie or out with friends and decided she’d get back to you later and just forgot.

5. She’s playing hard to get.

6. She’s not interested in you romantically.

7. She’s got a boyfriend.

Of all of these scenarios, you can look at the first few and realize she was just busy and try texting her again. If she’s involved with someone, you’ll probably find out soon enough.

The point is, we can value ourselves based on a text message that wasn’t returned. What you can do is send a short, flirty, and fun text a day or two later saying, “Hey.. How’s your day going?” This low pressure text message which asks a question might result in her getting back to you and your banter can continue.

Video: Is Texting Preventing You From a Real Life Relationship

What I don’t want to see you do is text her 4, 5, 6, 7 times in one day, because as a guy, it’s your job to make her feel safe to be around you. If you continue to text her without a reply over-and-over again, she might block you or think you’re overanxious, or worse yet, may even think you’re a stalker.

Don’t be that guy, because every woman wants to be with a confident guy. We don’t like game playing when it comes to text messages, and genuinely love to hear from you, so stay on the digital radar. You can take it one step further and actually call her if you have something fun to invite her to.

Read: He Texts Me Daily. Are We in a Relationship?

Do you have questions about your digital love life or need dating advice? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twiter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

POF Mother’s Day Survey: Single Moms Are Lucky in Love

Mother's Day SurveyAs Mother’s Day approaches, it’s time to take a look at the online dating behaviors of single moms and what their children think of their dates. If you think being a single mom reduces your chance of finding love online, this is a misconception among many others. Read on.

According to dating site PlentyOfFish, a survey of their users revealed that 44% of women dating are line are single moms and their reasons for going online and what they’re looking for may surprise you. With almost 28% of single moms admitting they’ve been dating online for over three years, this survey states that they might not be looking for a knight in white armor.

What’s exciting for single moms, it is turns out they’re finding love 10% faster than women without children at home. Does this mean you should post photos of your children in your online dating profile? As an online dating expert and dating coach, I’m not a fan of having your children appear as your primary profile photo, but believe it’s important to state within the text portion of your profile that you’re proud of your children (and list their ages). It turns out that an overwhelming 76% of single moms do indeed mention their children and/or post photos of them in their profiles.

According to POF:

Like many online daters, single mothers are looking for partners they can relate to. Accordingly, they are 3.4 times more likely to date a single father than childless women are. In contrast, single moms are half as likely to date childless men as women with no children are.

But what do the kids have to say about their mom’s dates?
According to POF, 63% of moms said they’d consider their child’s disapproval of a potential partner as a major red flag or a deal-breaker.

POF Mother's Day Survey - Chart 3 - updated

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Other key findings include:

  • 1.2% are interested in meeting a clone of their ex, while 60.28% said they didn’t have a type.
  • 51.81% will introduce their date to their children once they are in a monogamous relationship.
  • 54.98% said that with their busy schedule, there was no time to meet anyone anywhere else.
  • 53.99% said that online dating allowed them to get to know someone without sacrificing time with their kid(s).
  • 56.97% are dating online to find a partnership, as compared to less than 1% who are looking for financial support.
  • 62.29% will go online whenever they can find a spare second, followed by weekday nights when their kids are asleep.

On this Mother’s Day, we wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker.  She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. To find out how you can have an Irresistible Online Dating Profile, visit CyberDatingExpert.com and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.

Online Dating Tips on Newstalk 1010, Julie Spira

Julie Spira - AM 1010How do you create an irresistible online dating profile and protect yourself from being a victim of a ‘Catfish?’

We tackled these questions and more in a radio interview on “The Night Side” on AM1010 in Toronto with Barb DiGiulio.

From word-count to safety; photos to emails; long-distance relationships and more, listen in to find out how you can be more successful with Internet dating.

Follow @JulieSpira for online dating advice.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has helped singles find love online for over 20 years. For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and visit CyberDatingExpert.com.

Changing Your Zip Code for Love – 10 Best Dating Cities

Best Cities for Love

The beauty of online dating is that it’s available 24-hours a day and you can meet anyone from a neighbor with a mobile dating app to someone from another continent.

The fine folks at Zillow took a poll of the best cities to find love in 2015 by looking at locations with more than 250,000 residents.

This infographic below lists the best cities of eligible single men and women who could afford a night on the town based on:

  • The percentage of singles.
  • The percentage of singles who moved to town in the past year.
  • The median disposable income among single residents (median income minus median rent).
  • The number of restaurants, movie theaters and other date spots per capita.

Based on that data, the 10 best cities for love are:

  1. Washington, DC
  2. Atlanta
  3. Boston
  4. St. Louis
  5. Denver
  6. Pittsburgh
  7. Minneapolis
  8. Nashville
  9. San Francisco
  10. Raleigh

If your city isn’t on the list, perhaps it’s time to cast a wider net and expand your search by changing your zipcode.

If you’re in Washington, you’re in luck as that city ranks at the top of the list to find singles looking for love.

If you’re living in Los Angeles, why not seek out someone special in the Bay area? According to this list, San Francisco ranks at number 9 and is the only city on the west coast that made the list. If you can’t fathom even dating someone on another freeway, no need to fret.

Even though LA missed the top 10, the data shows it’s 58% single with 2.7% of that single population recently moving to town.  We measured the number of date spots per capita and LA has 33 date spots per every 10,000 people, which is pretty high comparatively. Date spots include: restaurants, bars, nightclubs, coffee shops, live music hangouts, theaters and parks. The final metric was disposable income, LA has a median disposable income of $7,570 – lower than all of the top-ranked cities.

Would you date someone in another city or state? Would you move for love?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5p/PT, 8p/ET. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert, and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

10 Cities to find Love

 

Peril of the Week – The Concert Date

Peril of the Week - Cyber Dating ExpertSometimes it’s great to be impulsive and go on a last minute date, but in the case of this female dater, she would have been better off if she had gone with a friend or knew her date better before their first concert date.

Wondering what happened? Read the latest entry to the Peril of the Week and find out why this date went south.

This past week, I had an amazing opportunity to see one of the world’s most iconic musicians, Stevie Wonder in concert. But I needed someone to go with. On a whim, I mentioned this to someone I was chatting with on OK Cupid.  He jumped at the chance to go.

I did have hesitations on whether or not to go to a concert on a first date but given the superstar playing, I simply assumed there would be enough going on to make even the most awkward date, ok.

I was wrong.

After arriving an hour late, my date suggested I drive to the venue, and could we stop for beers in advance.  While I don’t drink, I do understand the importance of the pre-party so I obliged.

Unfortunately, my date decided this would be a great time to down several 20 oz. beers, and this was all before he pulled out the 5th of generic whiskey to wash it down.  At this point, he shared with me that he had just started drinking again this year and we hadn’t even gone into the concert yet.

Once inside the venue, my date was determined to get us backstage.

If you know me, you know how much I love this. All you have to do is figure out where the easiest way is to get on the floor and head that way.  Right?

No. Not for my date. Perhaps it was the alcohol at this point, but let’s just label this endeavor a mistake.

We did find better seats though, maybe not the floor, but certainly better than our last row tickets.  But this was not enough for my date and the mood was set for the concert and the mood was not fun.

Imagine being seated next to someone exceptionally hyper, very buzzed and wanting more than what we have.  It was not fun…so not fun that half way through the show, I suggested we leave.

I still can’t believe that a 47-year old man chugged three 20 oz. beers and then pulled out a flask of Old Grandad before walking into a concert for a first date.

Do you have a story for the Peril of the Week?

Submit Your Online Dating Stories

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter, and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

Photo credit: Fotolia

Announcing our #DateChat on Twitter

#DateChat

Ready, set, tweet!

We’re super-excited at Cyber-Dating Headquarters to let you know that we’ll be hosting #DateChat on Twitter every Thursday at 8pm Eastern time, 5pm Pacific time.

#DateChat will bring together singles who are looking for love online and IRL to talk about their dating issues and relationship desires. #DateChat will be hosted by online dating expert Julie Spira. Every week we’ll be joined by a guest-host to stimulate the conversation.

Whether you’re newly single or are interested in dating your sweetheart, #DateChat will help spice up your love life.

Here’s how to join the party.

Sign onto Twitter or use your favorite Twitter management software such as Hootsuite or TweetDeck. Make sure you create a stream or do a search for #DateChat and save the search. If you have a question or are replying to a question, remember to use the hashtag of #DateChat in each tweet so others can communicate with you.

To make it easier, you can also log onto TweetChat, where it’s simple to stay in the conversation. Just type in our hashtag of #TweetChat and follow the stream. This will automatically add our hashtag to any tweet. Feel free to retweet any dating advice that you’d like your followers to see or ask questions for the dating community to see.

 

We look forward to chatting with you on Thursdays to get you date-ready for the weekend.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter!

Cyber Love Story – Robyn and Richard

robyn richard smallMeet Robyn and Richard who met on Match.com. Their cyber love story is an inspiration to all that if you stick with the online dating process, you can eventually find the love of your life.

Robyn’s Cyber Love Story:

I was divorced and living in Los Angeles for nine years and dating in LA wasn’t easy. I was dating on and off for a few years online. I really wasn’t sure that I was going to meet someone. Like many, I got frustrated with the process, but I had met a woman in Los Angeles who went on 300 online dates!  On date 300 she met ‘the one’ and they’ve been together for ten years. That gave me a lot of hope, but still the thought of 300 dates terrified me.

What really kept me going is a man I met on match and dated briefly. Although we didn’t go the distance we became the best of friends. Within a year, he met his life partner on Match. That gave me even more hope.

So I joined Match in January and had been searching within 12 miles of where I lived. I know that’s not very far, but with the traffic in Los Angeles, it seemed realistic to me. When my male friend, whose girlfriend lived in the Valley suggested that I expand my search to a town in the Valley called Woodland Hills, (I live near the beach), I found the zip code and typed it into the search to view men I would have never considered before. I didn’t even know where that town was.

Then I saw Richard’s photo and profile in July. I was brave and decided to write to him first. Ladies listen up. Guys really like it when you write to them. I sent a simple email, which said, “Hey I read your profile. Sounds like we might have a few things in common. Check out my profile and let me know what you think.”

He emailed me back right away. We set up a phone date for the next day and it went to voicemail.

We met three days later and I remember getting out of the car and taking a deep breath and saying to myself,  ‘Ok. Here we go. I hope he looks remotely like his picture.”

Richard was waiting for me in the restaurant wearing a suit and a tie. He looked rather dashing. I thought, hmm. I might have just met my future husband, and it turned out that it did!

I never thought someone of this guy’s caliber would be waiting for me at the end of the journey. I cannot even say how lucky I feel! If someone had invented the perfect someone for me, Richard would be it.

Richard’s Cyber Love Story:

I had been a member of Match for about four years and dated lots of people. Most were the typical one-and-done dates.

I saw Robyn’s profile in my daily matches and read her bio. I was attracted to her, but I was intimidated by her experience as a newscaster and reporter. She had been living in New York and had traveled around the world. She appeared to be sophisticated and I thought I wouldn’t live up to her expectations, so I didn’t write to her.

I was very thrilled when I received her email. In our first conversation, we had a lot to say to each other. I felt very comfortable with her when we met for a drink. She looked like her photos and like every guy, I was happy about that. We spent four hours talking and I knew I wanted to ask her out again. From our second date, we became exclusive and I actually knew after about 3-4 months of dating that I wanted to marry her.

We talked about marriage and our future, but Robyn had it in her head that a couple needed to be together for a year or two, so she said she’d think about it.

We moved in together and got a new apartment after 9 months of dating and then on our one-year anniversary of our first date, we were married on the beach in Malibu and are set for a Europe honeymoon.

Congratulations to Robyn and Richard who prove that you can find love online.

Do you have an online dating story to share? Send us your story and you might get featured in our Cyber Love Story series.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Submit Your Online Dating Stories

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and is the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com.  Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. Sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and share your story at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

10 Best Halloween Songs

Cyber-Dating Expert HalloweenHappy Music Monday. Are you getting your costume ready for Halloween?

Rather than focus on only one Cyber Love Song this week, I couldn’t resist sharing my top 10 Favorite Halloween Songs with you to enjoy all week long.

From Spooky to Thriller, with Witchy Woman in between, I hope you enjoy these seasonal favorites and share some of yours as well.

Enjoy!

1.Spooky – Classics IV – One of my favorites, because it’s about love and romance.

2. Witchy Woman – The Eagles – The mystery of the woman in this song made it a hit for the Eagles. Enjoy this live version.

3. Monster Mash – Bobby “Boris” Pickett – You might not know who the artist is, but you’ll certainly recognize the song. No Halloween party would be complete without this seasonal favorite.

4. Witch Queen of New Orleans – Redbone – Another personal favorite that I enjoyed playing on the radio. You’ll be humming Marie, Marie, da voodoo veau, she’ll put a spell on you.

5. Ghostbusters – Ray Parker Jr. – The title theme from the soundtrack film will fill you with laughter on Halloween

6.Black Magic Woman – Santana – This song by Carlos Santana will always will be an incredibly sexy and classic tune that will never go out of style.

7. I put a Spell on You ? Credence Clearwater Revival (CCR) – This bluesy song is one of my favorites.

8. Frankenstein – The Edgar Winter Group – No vocals, but the title alone merits its inclusion on the list this Halloween.

9. Wherewolves of London – Warren Zevon – Although he is resting in peace, the Wherewolves will always be around to help us howl during Halloween and Warren continues to make us laugh.

10.Thriller – Michael Jackson – No Halloween would be complete without the excitement of this thrilling b bestselling song from the late King of Pop.

Honorable mention: Time Warp from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Do you have any other favorites to add to this list? Best wishes for a happy, spooky, fun and flirty Halloween from your friends at CyberDatingExpert.com

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Next Page »