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What to Do When He Cancels Your Date

canceled date

So you’ve met a great guy online and he’s asked you out again because you had off the chart chemistry and the conversation just flowed on your first date.

Congratulations! You’re making it past the one-and-done dating grind, which is common for online daters and singles using mobile dating apps.

What happens next? You give your girlfriends the good news about your hot date and you and your date get into a groove texting each other every day. Good morning and good night texts keep you connected and keep the very important momentum going during the early stages of dating.

Finally, the day comes when you’re going on your second date with your dream guy, so you pick up your favorite date dress from the dry cleaner’s, get your hair blown dry during lunch so you can look and feel remarkable, and everything feels great.

Then the familiar chime of his customized text rings on your phone. You smile, because you’re sure he’s as excited as you are about the date and he’s just sending a text to confirm your date like a true gentleman.

It’s an hour until date time and as you look down at your phone, your heart falls to your knees. The text says,

“Sorry…have to cancel, not feeling well. Can we reschedule?”

Your gut says, hey he knew he was sick all day and I just spent $50 on a blow dry. This is not cool. You’re not happy and you’re not even sure if he’s sick, found someone else, got back together with his ex, or if he double booked dates on calendar by mistake. Let’s face it, texts like these do happen while dating in a digital world.

RELATED: Gone Fishing, or Is It Over?

What’s a girl to do? The first thing not to do is pout. If you’re both dating online, realize you’re dating other people until you decide to be exclusive. Sure, maybe he got sick and was excited to see you and was hoping he’d feel better by 5pm. Maybe the dog ate his paper and you don’t recall him mentioning having a dog. Maybe he had a work project he had to deal with and felt it was easier to say he wasn’t feeling well. It doesn’t matter. You’re date-ready and his text might be the beginning of the end, or at least the end of a well-planned date.

Here’s the thing about when someone cancels a date.

You really don’t know why he canceled and after going on only one date together, you don’t need to be a cyber detective and make yourself crazy.

RELATED: How to Handle the Dreaded Pull Back

Here’s what you don’t do:

  • Don’t check his Instagram or Facebook to see his last check in or post.
  • Don’t text him more than once to see how he’s feeling.
  • Don’t assume he’s double dipping. The guy really could have come down with the flu.
  • Don’t bitch about it on social media. No one wants to see a “Debbie Downer.”
  • Don’t stay home. You’re already date-ready and you might even meet someone more exciting.

Here’s what you should do:

  • Do give him the benefit of the doubt if he does indeed reschedule. Guys don’t do well with being sick and if it’s contagious, he’s doing you a favor by canceling.
  • Do reply to his text and ask if you can bring over chicken soup!
  • Do find a girlfriend and go out anyway or go online and see if some guy you’ve been chatting with is free to meet you for a drink.
  • Do find your favorite happy hour and go flirt up a storm. Remember to smile and say hello to strangers.
  • Do wait for your date to reach out and reschedule and show him that you can go with the flow, this one time.

RELATED: What to Do When He Pulls Back

If you end up going on the rescheduled makeup date, don’t bring up the reasons your previous date was canceled. Act like it’s still a first date and let him get enamored with you and continue to pursue and court you.  Make sure another date is put on the calendar after the end of a fabulous date, so you can look forward to seeing each other again. Keep the momentum going.

If the same guy cancels again, let him go. It’s time for you to find an available man who won’t look at you as an option, and won’t be playing games and tugging at your heartstrings.

Remember to keep your online dating profile active while you’re casually dating, so you can fill  your date card or chat on your mobile dating app. Perhaps you should kick the date canceler to the curb.

You deserve better and you will find someone else in the crowded digital playground called online dating.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her signature Irresistible Profiles for over 20 years.

Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook

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7 Quotes To Feel Lucky on St. Patrick’s Day

It’s that time of year again to put on your most stylish green shirt or dress, don a “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” pin, dance a jig, and order a green beer, or at least green tea if you fancy a healthier choice.

Here are 7 Quotes to Help You Feel Lucky on St. Patrick’s Day

St. Patrick's Quotes

“Luck is believing you’re lucky.” – Tennessee Williams

St. Patrick's Quotes

“Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it.” – Robert Mitchum

St. Patrick's Quotes

“The best luck of all is the luck you make for yourself.” – Douglas MacArthur

 

Related: 10 Ways to Flirt on St. Patrick’s Day

St. Patrick's Quotes

“In the long run, you make your own luck – good, bad, indifferent.” – Loretta Lynn

St. Patrick's Quotes

“Good luck needs no explanation.” – Shirley Temple

St. Patrick's Quotes

“Luck affects everything. Let your hook always be cast; in the stream where you least expect it, there will be a fish.” – Ovid

Related: Love Potions Shamrock Shake

St. Patrick's Quotes

“Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.”  – Seneca

Whether you’re Irish and are holding a four-leaf clover, or are feeling lucky in love on this March day, we wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Instagram Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Datingtwitter - Julie Spira

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Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

Love knows no boundaries

“Love knows no reason, no boundaries, no distance. It has a sole intention of bringing people together to a time called forever.” ~Unknown.

While looking for love online, remember to cast a wide net and change your zip code. People move for love all of the time. Your next love just might be a zip code, state, or country away.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for Dating Advice

3 Reasons Why Guys Ghost

Why Men GhostAs a ghosting expert, I’ve heard every wacky and excuse as to why someone ghosted you.

Imagine this scenario. You’ve been seeing a great guy for weeks now and you think this one’s a keeper.

You get daily texts from him, see him on weekends, and he’s called you his girlfriend.

Then one day out of nowhere, POOF. He’s gone. MIA. No texts. No calls. No dates. No closure.

Here are three reasons why guys ghost after a great date.

1. They have a girlfriend, and it’s not you.

Unfortunately there are lot of people dating when they’re not single. Perhaps the relationship is on a bumpy road, or maybe they want to look at other options. A survey has found that about 40% of people on Tinder aren’t even single. For these reasons, guys swipe right for validation, or because there’s something missing in their relationship. When it gets to the point of getting serious, they have to bail. The easiest way is to ghost and disappear.

READ MORE: Most Millennials Have Been Ghosted

2. They have commitment issues.

Some guys just can’t go the distance. They love the excitement of a new relationship, especially the chase. They go on three-week intervals and when they see they have to step it up to make a deeper commitment, they bail with no trail or reason why. This is painful for women who want closure. They think things are going well and then suddenly their BF goes MIA and ghosts.

3. They’re playing the field.

There’s a lyric in the Stevie Nicks song Dreams, “Players only love you when they’re playing.” Guys like these like to play the field and believe dating is a numbers game. Once their date card is overflowing, someone has to be deleted. When it’s you, you won’t know why. If they text you 3 times a day and call every day and see you on weekends, you think you’re in a relationship. The problem is, you’re just in rotation.

What should a woman do if she’s been ghosted?

The worst thing you can do is to keep trying to reach him. You will appear needy, obsessive, and it will be a turn off for a guy. If he disappears, just realize it’s his loss. There is no closure. You can be sure he’s ghosting someone else right now, while you trying to decide what to text him next.

READ MORE: Ghosted for the First Time

My best advice is to move on and be open to finding someone else. By the time he comes back, and he probably will, you might be in the arms of a great guy, where ghosting is not a part of his vocabulary.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating, Mobile Dating, and Ghosting Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online and helping heal hearts after someone’s been ghosted. Julie’s been crowned “Best Dating Coach” of the year at the iDate Awards and ranks as the most influential person in dating and online dating in social media.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, & Facebook for dating and ghosting advice.

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Photo credit: Fotolia

3 Online Profile Photos To Avoid This Valentine’s Day

Valentine's Day

As we get closer to Valentine’s Day, we’ve got you armed for everything including finding a date, selecting a gift, date ideas that are affordable, and how to create an Irresistible online dating profile.

Speaking of profiles, Cyber-Dating Expert friend, Michelle G., CRS® has some fabulous advice in her guest post: 3 Online Profile Photos to Avoid This Valentine’s Day.

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With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s a great reason to give your online dating profile a mini-digital makeover. The rise in photo-centric and location-based dating apps reveals that singles prefer the story your photos tell about you to reading your written answers.

Here are the 3 biggest profile mistakes when uploading photos to your online dating profile:

1. The Bathroom Mirror Selfie
Bathroom Selfie Shot

Nothing screams, “I’m lonely” louder than taking a picture of yourself in a cloudy bathroom mirror right before you head out for the night. It says, “I have no one who can take a decent picture of me,” plus it looks tacky and lazy.

MG Tip: If you’re going to take a selfie, use a selfie stick! Worried about a round face? Hold your phone vertically for a slimming effect. Have a long and angular face? Shooting a self on landscape mode (or holding the phone horizontally) will highlight your most flattering features.

RELATED: Valentine’s Gift Ideas for Every Relationship Stage

2. The Cropped-Out Ex

They’re your “ex” for a reason! Singles aren’t interested in seeing you with a past flame. Instead, they want to see the possibility of being a part of your life on their own two feet and without being blamed for past baggage.

MG Tip: If you’re looking through your phone for what photos to use without your ex or without a bunch of friends around you, it’s time to invest into a personal photoshoot.

RELATED: What Do I Do If He Doesn’t Ask Me Out For Valentine’s Day?

3. The Inside Joke

Captions - Online Dating Profile

If you have to use a descriptive caption to tell the story of a picture, then that photo doesn’t need to be on your profile. Your photos shouldn’t require an explanation; they should be a glimpse into your lifestyle and adventures. There is a right time to be witty, but that time isn’t with your photo gallery.

MG Tip: The best types of photos are ones that show your open body language and a flirty smile. The key is for you to look approachable, even through your tablet’s screen!

According to a recent research study, you have approximately 3-6 seconds before a match makes a decision about whether to engage with you. Let your photos enhance your online profile; not take away from it.

About Michelle G.

Michelle G is a Certified Dating and Relationship Specialist (CRS)® and the author of the #1 best selling book, Relationship SOS: Seven Lifelines to Rescue Your Emotional Intimacy Now.  She is passionate about helping singles and couples answer the question, “How can I have the relationship I’m looking for?”… Michelle and her team focus on helping singles find the love of their lives through profile writing services and her online coaching programs. Her mission is to teach singles and couples the best practices for having healthy relationships–including the one you have with yourself.

Michelle is frequently featured in the media as a dating & relationships expert, and her articles have been featured in the Huffington Post, Singles Warehouse, and other national publications.

FOLLOW @AskMichelleG on Twitter

RELATED: 7 Tips to Get Lucky in Love This Valentine’s Day

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

Photo credits: Fotolia


Super Bowl Sunday Quote of the Day

Happy Super Bowl Sunday. Whether you’re rooting for the New England Patriots, the Atlanta Falcons, or are just watching the half-time show with music icon, Lady Gaga, this quote from the late and legendary coach Vince Lombardi is one worth sharing and believing in every day of the week.

Quote of the Day

Remember that Sunday is the busiest day of the week for people signing on to dating sites and mobile dating apps. So keep that open during game time and especially after one of the teams goes home with the ring.

READ MORE: How to Land a Date by Valentine’s

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert and Award-Winning Dating Coach @JulieSpira on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for our FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter to get dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Dating Expert JULIE SPIRA Named Best Dating Coach at iDate Awards

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SPIRA is Celebrated for her Excellence in Navigating Love

Miami, Florida –January 26, 2017—JULIE SPIRA, who ranks as the most influential person in dating and online dating, was named “Best Dating Coach,” at the iDate 2017 Awards. The iDate Awards represents the best dating and social networking has to offer the public. The awards include 13 categories and is the largest gathering of executives who specialize in online dating, matchmaking, mobile dating, and the growing niche dating industry.

Julie SpiraSpira, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, was one of five finalists in her category and received a majority of the votes. Other winners of the iDate Awards included Match, eHarmony, and mobile app, Bumble. Spira who specializes in coaching singles who are looking for love online, is an accomplished dating coach and bestseller author who helps people looking for love in the digital age.

“Its great to be recognized for something that I’m truly passionate about,” said 2017 Best Dating Coach winner, Julie Spira. “When you love playing cupid, it’s a joy to help those who desire love to date smarter, with the goal of finding their soul mates.”

Held on location in Miami, at the Miami Beach Botanical Garden, the Internet Dating Conference is the largest trade show and business conference for the online dating, social networking, and matchmaking industries. Several business meetings are held each year covering the technology, management and marketing for the industry. The Miami conference is the largest. Held each January, it focuses on the multi-billion dollar global dating industry.

About Julie Spira

Julie Spira is a dating and relationship expert who has become the go-to person in the media for online dating and mobile dating advice. She’s been featured in over 1000 media stories and has been helping singles find love for over two decades by helping them find their perfect match.

  • America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker
  • Ranks as most influential person in dating and online dating
  • Named as one of the Top 10 Columnists to Follow on Twitter
  • Winner, Best Dating Coach for 2017

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter

PR Contact: Amy Prenner
310-709-1101

amy@theprennergroup.com

Contact: Julie Spira
310-433-7786
julie@juliespira.com

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

Happy New Year
As we start a new year filled with resolutions, remember to listen to your heart and be open to the possibilities of love.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Let’s Get Social!

Follow Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox and find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

In Memory of George Michael. Thanks for the musical memories and love songs.

George Michael Quote

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

These Names Will Get you More Right Swipes on Tinder

Is your first name holding you back from getting matches and swipes on Tinder?

The mobile dating app just released their Top 10 list of the most popular female and male names that are getting the most right swipes in the United States.

Tinder Female Names

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For those named Hannah, Emma, Lauren, Julia, Emily, Rachel, Samantha, Katie, Anna, or Sarah, congratulations! You’ve made the 2016 top swiped list of female names on Tinder.

You should have more matches than most, and I challenge you to start chatting, filling your dating card, and meeting IRL.

Related: Tinder Tales on the Tomorrow Show

For the guys, if you’re lucky enough to be named Lucas, Ryan, Matthew, Nick, Josh, Brandon, Justin, Ben, Adam, and Andrew, the ladies will be swiping right on your profile more than most.

Tinder Male Names

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Does this mean you need to change your name? That would sure be confusing if your name is Larry and your profile says “Lucas” to try to attract more swipes.

Related: This Tinder Feature Will Help You Stand Out

I believe in authenticity, so don’t confuse yourself or your potential date, but if your name is on the list, log on and swipe more often to see if your match numbers increase.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam .xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the creator of Mobile Dating BootCamp. As a celebrity dating coach, Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene.

For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter delivered to your inbox.

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