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Peril of the Week – Must Love Bears

Peril of the Week - Must Love BearsContributed by Nancy Brook

After breaking up with my latest boyfriend four years ago, I decided the best way to stop moping about him was to start dating new men. Internet dating provided the perfect opportunity to start finding someone new.

I had dated online before, and I always had plenty of winks and emails. The problem was I didn’t want to date many of these men. I longed for the whole package, someone near my age, smart, accomplished, handsome, athletic and fun.

When I met Dirk, he seemed perfect. He was cute, smart, funny, easy to talk to and very interested in me. The night before I met Dirk, I had a date with a handsome chiropractor, but I couldn?t keep my attention on him. (Maybe it was the dark glasses he wore throughout our dinner.)

I cut the evening short with the doctor and rose at the crack of dawn the next day to meet Dirk at West Yellowstone, which was a four-hour drive for me. We talked on our cell phones the whole way over. I couldn’t wait to meet him in person! But when I saw him, I was very surprised. He was short, barrel-chested, thick-necked and much less attractive than he appeared on his online photo. I tried to get over the shallow stuff as I did like him on the phone.

“Hi!” he said enthusiastically, and gave me a big hug with his stubby arms. I smiled and hugged him back. We stopped by the grocery store for a picnic lunch of sandwiches and wine and then drove into the park where we ate by a creek, lying on a picnic blanket. After our lunch, he reached over and kissed me.

It was the most horrible kiss I could have imagined. It was a kiss that didn’t end… kind of like a vacuum hose sucking my lips. I wanted to run as far away from Dirk as possible, but I knew that would hurt his feelings. Besides, if I took off, I’d have to run miles since Dirk had driven us into the park and my car was back at the grocery store. Instead, I suggested we see the sites around Yellowstone.

Dirk talked about our future. I could move in with him and help him with his bear hunting business. (Never mind that I despise sport hunting.) There was no need for me to work. He made enough money for both of us. I heard pop Christian music playing in the background as a big grin spread across his face as he fanaticized about our life together.

“I’m ready to go back,? I said.

“Already?” he said.

“Yeah. It’s going to be a long drive back to Billings, and I want to get started.”

A scowl creased his forehead, his mouth turned down around the corner and he didn?t say a word. I stayed on my side of the truck, avoiding any additional contact with him.

When we arrived back at West Yellowstone, I wanted to leap out of his truck and spring to my car. I kept my cool. I opened the door, grabbed my camera bag and smiled at Dirk.

“It was nice to meet you,” I said.

“I get the feeling that I?m never going to see you again,” he said.

“Well, one never knows what the future has in store,” I answered.

I gave him a quick hug and power walked to my vehicle. I got into the car, started it and peeled out, waving as I left. I was free at last.

Lesson learned: It’s better to mope at home about an old boyfriend than be trapped in a pickup with a new crazy bear man.

The Peril of the Week was contributed by Nancy Brook, author of the upcoming book, Cycling, Wine, and Men: A Midlife Tour de France.

From the Cyber-Dating Expert: It?s not a good idea to go anywhere with a man in his car or truck on a first date. It’s a recipe for a dating disaster.

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Peril of the Week – Diaper Dan

Peril of the Week

While on a “Meet & Greet” i.e. dating ‘interview’ with a man she met online, a woman was asked the following question, “How open-minded are you?”

She responded by telling him that he should feel comfortable telling her anything. However, she wasn’t prepared at all for his response. He then shared with her that he was wearing a diaper.

The woman asked if it was for medical reasons, but he said, “No.”

As they were taking a walk at the beach and he was the one who was driving, she really couldn’t get out of the date at the time. He was a good looking man and a top executive at his company. Although he was genuinely a nice guy, she simply couldn’t get over this particular quirk of his, so the relationship actually ended before it even started. It was another dating disaster.

Do you believe we should be on a “need to know basis?” Did she really need to know this? Comments are always welcome.

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