I’ve always said single women should wear red on a date and on their online dating profile primary photos.
It’s not just because red is my favorite color, but research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology at the University of Rochester also proved that women who wore red on their online dating profiles received more emails from men, went on more dates, and the men actually spent more money on women wearing red.
We know that red is the color of love, passion, and the stop sign. But red is that winning color both in the boardroom and the bedroom.
BEST DATE OUTFITS AS SELECTED BY MEN
The winner by both was clearly a simple sophisticated and casual mid-length red dress, paired with a classic clutch, heels, and fun earrings. The look was called “Red Hot,” and I have to agree on the choice. So for those who think you should wear a mini-dress, or plunging cleavage, think again.
The second pick by the guys was called “Sweet and Flirty,” which is a good summer look. Off the shoulder tops are all the rage now, and wearing hot pink is as close to wearing red as you can find.
Sweet and Flirty
When it comes to first date outfits, or any date for that matter, where what makes you feel comfortable, flirty, and happy. Dressing in grunge, sweats, or uggs, are good for hanging out at home, but they’re a turn-off for a guy. Dressing for women who will notice the brands will just bleed your wallet. A guy wants to see you wearing something feminine and form fitting.
WORST DATE OUTFITS AS SELECTED BY MEN
As far as the worst date outfits, the men gave a thumbs down to outfits with minimal effort, ones that were too trendy, mis-matched, Woodstock glam, and striped with a pop of color.
Here were the top 2 losers according to the Match and Finery poll
Former E! News Correspondent, blogger and stylist, Alicia Quarles, commented on the fashion survey and said,
“Our poll results don’t exactly prove that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, we actually found that both genders agreed on the best date look, and that men don’t care about the latest trends or high fashion.” Quarles continues to say, “They want to see a woman’s figure—and less women dressing for other women on a first date (i.e., in very fashionable outfits which are on trend, but that don’t necessarily show off everything). Through this, we’ve realized that men just want to determine all lines of attraction on a first date, including physical attraction, so outfits that don’t show a woman’s shape can potentially complicate things.”
So does it matter what you wear on a date? Absolutely. You have that split second to make a first impression and I think the choices selected by men and women are feminine and memorable, both online and IRL.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 23 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.
I’m frustrated with something happening in my relationship and hope you can help.
Can you please help me understand what my boyfriend means when he says, “He misses chatting to girls, because he enjoys their conversations more than male conversations.”
He added that he also misses the fact that he can talk to them without people jumping to conclusions.
Do you think he misses being single and having the excitement of taking to new girls? We’ve been dating for almost a year and we’re very similar and haven’t been in a fight as yet, because we usually talk through things before it becomes a problem.
My Dear Anneline,
As a dating expert, I can tell you that your boyfriend clearly needs the validation that other girls still like him, even if he is hopelessly devoted to you. I don’t know if the two of you met online or out-and-about, but it’s clear to me that he’s keeping his options open. Perhaps he’s insecure or just got addicted to online dating and can’t take his profile down.
I don’t know if he’s chatting on social media sites such as snapchat, Facebook, WhatsApp or actually has a profile on Tinder or Bumble and is chatting that way. Either way, I look at chatting and flirting with other women when you’re in a relationship as a bit of emotional cheating and a larger case of insecurity.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. Many years ago, I had a boyfriend who I met online. When it was time to take out profiles down, we did it together and agreed to be exclusive. Everything seemed fine, except one day later, he admitted that he was having a digital withdrawal of women no longer looking at him online. He wasn’t writing back to them, nor was he scheduling dates. He had been online for so long that disconnecting became painful to him. He loved having the digital ego boost of a woman writing to him or viewing his profile. He got over it, but it caused him stress.
If your boyfriend is on a dating app and chatting, it’s grounds for breaking up. He can chat to “friends” on facebook without telling the world he’s on a dating site and available.
The reason that men don’t even like to change their relationship status, is because until they’ve committed totally, they don’t want to feel that they will never sleep with another woman ever again. I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s fairly accurate.
Let your boyfriend know you don’t mind him having female platonic friends and that you have male platonic friends as well. But be clear, you’re not interested in being with anyone who wants to keep his options open, so unless the people he’s chatting with know about you or you’re mutual friends, you have a right to tell him flat out that it’s disrespectful to you. Ask him how he’d feel if you were flirting with other guys pretending you didn’t have a boyfriend. I doubt he’d like that either.
I’m not saying you should break up, but let him know that you’re a woman who deserves to be respected and he should refocus his flirting behavior and chats and direct them at you.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Do you have a question for online dating and mobile dating expert Julie Spira? Send your dating and relationship questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact
If you think being a single mom reduces your chance of finding love online, this is a misconception among many others. Read on.
According to dating site PlentyOfFish, a survey of their users revealed that 44% of women dating on the Internet are single moms and their reasons for going online and what they’re looking for may surprise you. With almost 28% of single moms admitting they’ve been dating online for over three years, this survey states that they might not be looking for a knight in white armor.
What’s exciting for single moms, it is turns out they’re finding love 10% faster than women without children at home. Does this mean you should post photos of your children in your online dating profile?
As an online dating expert and dating coach, I’m not a fan of having your children appear as your primary profile photo, but believe it’s important to state within the text portion of your profile that you’re proud of your children (and list their ages). It turns out that an overwhelming 76% of single moms do indeed mention their children and/or post photos of them in their profiles.
According to POF:
Like many online daters, single mothers are looking for partners they can relate to. Accordingly, they are 3.4 times more likely to date a single father than childless women are. In contrast, single moms are half as likely to date childless men as women with no children are.
But what do the kids have to say about their mom’s dates?
According to POF, 63% of moms said they’d consider their child’s disapproval of a potential partner as a major red flag or a deal-breaker.
Related: 10 Mother’s Day Quotes to Warm Your Heart
Other key findings include:
- 1.2% are interested in meeting a clone of their ex, while 60.28% said they didn’t have a type.
- 51.81% will introduce their date to their children once they are in a monogamous relationship.
- 54.98% said that with their busy schedule, there was no time to meet anyone anywhere else.
- 53.99% said that online dating allowed them to get to know someone without sacrificing time with their kid(s).
- 56.97% are dating online to find a partnership, as compared to less than 1% who are looking for financial support.
- 62.29% will go online whenever they can find a spare second, followed by weekday nights when their kids are asleep.
On this Mother’s Day, we wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. To find out how you can have an Irresistible Online Dating Profile, visit CyberDatingExpert.com and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.
Gone are the rules of women sitting by the phone, waiting for a text, waiting for the phone to ring, and waiting for a guy to ask you out first.
Once Bumble, the app where the women have control on making the first contact, grew rapidly in popularity, women started thinking differently about the archaic waiting game. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we think that’s good news. We aren’t suggesting that women always take the lead, propose marriage, and schedule every date. We know from coaching male clients that they are frustrated with writing emails and not getting much response.
Men find it refreshing when they hear from a woman. It boosts their egos and they know the chances are high that they’ll start communicating. How high?
OkCupid just released a study that show that women who message men first receive a higher response rate and more desirable men. They studied a random sample of 70,000 users and found that women who initiated contact first were 2.5 times more likely to receive a response than men.
Jimena Almendares, chief product officer at OkCupid, told the New York Times, “There are women on the site that are reaching out, and they’re getting all the benefits.”
The study also showed that men tend to message women 17 percentage points more “attractive” than themselves, while women send messages to men 10 percentage points higher.
What does this mean? Ladies, if you’re just scrolling through your inbox instead of reaching out first, it’s more likely that you’ll be looking at men less attractive than you.
When looking at sending the first message, OKC found one habit common of both men and women: both are “reachers.” A reacher is someone who “reaches out” to someone more attractive than they are.
For women, this means that waiting for men to approach you will result in an inbox filled with less attractive men, if any men at all.
However, this can be solved simply by sending a message first. Women who reach out first, regardless of sexual orientation, do get more responses. This could have something to do with men being more likely to respond when a woman messages them first.
Instead of waiting to be approached, try elevating your digital love game by 12 percent points and send the first message. If you receive a message from a man, you’re most likely messaging with someone who is 5 percentile points less attractive than you, but if you message first, the man is likely to be 7 percentile points more attractive than you.
This puts ladies in the digital driver seat. If you send a messages to men you find attractive, you’ll increase your quantity of quality men to talk to. You’re more likely to have something to talk about with someone you message first.
At the end of the digital day, take a chance and message someone first who you find attractive. Not everyone will respond, but you’ll be filling your date card and going on more dates. Isn’t that the goal?
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Read the full study from OkCupid here.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert, Mobile Dating Expert, and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating, and was an early adopter of Internet dating, coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out how Irresistible Profiles will help you fill your date card to find your dream date.
Sign up for the free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox, along with the 7 Secrets to Finding Love Online.
A popular topic unfortunately is the trend of ghosting. If you haven’t heard of the term, it’s when someone you’re dating, even someone who calls you their boyfriend or girlfriend just disappears, even when things appear to be going great between the two of you.
In today’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a woman writes:
We have been dating for a month, meeting almost everyday and calling it a real relationship. He even told his family and friends that he is dating me. We had a small argument over a stupid thing then he start ghosting me. I called him twice and sent text messages a few times. After our argument he posted our picture to Instagram. Two days later, he removed it.
I am confused. I removed him from Facebook and Instagram but he he hasn’t removed me from his Instagram.
My reply to this unfortunate dating dilemma:
Dear Ghost Victim,
You’re not alone. Dating someone for only one month is just that; dating. When people are dating, they are often dating others and leaving their options open to possibly date multiple people until they decide to be exclusive.
Urban Dictionary’s top definition of dating is:
Dating: “Of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.”
Being on each other’s Facebook and Instagram accounts when you’re dating is common these days. It doesn’t mean you’re exclusive and it doesn’t mean it will last forever. What I don’t know in your case is what your argument was about, but if it turned him off, chances are he pulled back. He might be dating others, he might just need his space. But if he isn’t feeling good about the two of you, it’s understandable that he’d take photos of you down from Instagram, so other women won’t think he’s taken.
You’ve already reached out a few times. He hasn’t. My best advice to you is to fill your date card, right now. It’s good that you unfriended him on Facebook, but please DON’T stalk his instagram account. I always say, “Seek and ye shall find.” If you keep looking, you’ll probably see a photo of him and another woman, or him having fun somewhere without you.
One month is too soon for a couple to know if they’ll ride into the sunset together. Ghosting after one month is common, because the level of commitment isn’t there. It’s lazy and cowardly, but it’s the easy way out.
Go out and have fun with your friends. Accept dates. Stop looking on his social media to see what he’s up to. You can wonder why, but put it behind you. He’s just another guy who ghosted because he got spooked or isn’t feeling it anymore.
If he comes back, you might already be in the arms of a great guy who won’t bolt when there’s a bump in the road.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Do you need dating advice or have a question for Julie Spira? Submit your dating questions here.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet Dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.
In this episode of Words,Wine and Women, Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker Julie Spira teaches Tara the attorney and Beth the single mom digital dating tips on what to post in their profiles when starting Internet dating and using mobile dating apps for the first time.
Watch this episode if you think the following:
1. If you’re looking for a commitment and only dog-lovers apply.
2. You think there are only creeps online.
3. You want to feel safe with Internet dating.
4. You’re not sure which sites to try.
5. You aren’t sure what types of photos to post.
6. You need help in creating a buddy system.
7. You need tips on what to talk about on a date.
Find out the difference between all of the many dating sites now.
Are you ready to have an Irresistible Online Dating Profile to attract your dream date?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has appeared in over 600 news stories with her online dating advice. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
You meet a guy and the chemistry is off the charts. You exchange numbers and start texting regularly. You get in a groove, start dating IRL or just have a regular daily text exchanges and POOF after a few weeks or a month, he disappears without warning.
Ghosting, the cowardly phenomenon where a woman or a man go from really into you to disappearing completely without an explanation is something I’m getting more and more emails about every day.
READ MORE: GHOSTING: The Cultural Phenomenon in Dating
I have been on ten or more dates with this guy. We both agreed to see how things go. We both admitted we are into each other and we are not dating other people, however- we are not exclusive.
He had suddenly pulled away without warning after consistently talking for 6 weeks or so.
I am in agony right now as everything was going so well. I know men lie, but why did he tell me he saw a future with me when he didn’t mean it!?
My Dear Harriet:
In the world of dating, it takes time to get to know someone.
Six weeks can be a typical time for someone to decide to move a relationship forward to become exclusive.
I’m so sorry that you’re in pain, but did he really lie? He was feeling good about the relationship in the early honeymoon days so he projected to the future because if felt good.
You both decided to give it a shot and for some reason he wasn’t sure. You say you weren’t exclusive, which allows both of you to keep your options open. Now I haven’t spoken to your guy so I don’t know if he pulled away because he was getting too close or pulled away because he met someone else. He may have unilaterally decided that the two of you didn’t have enough in common to take it to the next level. He may have been hung up on an ex, not ready, or gone back with her. You didn’t say if you slept with him or not. There are to many unknowns here.
My best advice is to move forward with your life and start dating again. You might be surprised to find someone you even like more than the guy who did the pull-back.
However, you should know that sometimes guys need their space. They go into their caves to think and need time to decide if they miss you or not. It’s true that men miss you when you’re apart. The worst thing you can do if this is the case, is to chase after him wanting an answer, closure, or call him a liar. He was feeling it then. He isn’t feeling it now or may be confused.
READ MORE: Ghosted for the First Time
Just live your life and be open to meeting someone else and realize that this is the typical course of dating. If he comes back, it means he took the time to think about a deeper relationship with you. If he didn’t, it was a six-week casual relationship. Think about it. You might have been the one after six weeks that had a change of heart about him!
Sure it stinks when someone disappears and you’re a victim of ghosting. It’s wrong, but very common these days. People don’t like to have a confrontation so they ghost. Keep me posted and do something special for yourself. Exercise or go to a movie with a friend.
By the time he comes back, if he comes back, you might no longer be interested in him.
READ MORE: Most Millenials Have Been Ghosted
I’ve been seeing this guy for three weeks now who I met online and we’ve gone out about 5 times. He seemed to be really interested in getting to know me and he sent me texts every day. Suddenly out of nowhere the texts came to a screeching halt. Not one phone call, no explanation. I guess I’ve been ghosted, but why?
My Dear Robin:
Three weeks is nothing in the dating world. If you met him online, chances are he’s still dating online and you both have active Internet dating or mobile dating profiles. He was probably playing the field, while you put all of your eggs in one basket.
If he’s going to ghost you (and boy do I hate when that happens), I’d rather it be sooner than later before your heart was completely invested. Chances are he met someone else or even already had a girlfriend when he first started contacting you and was testing the water. We unfortunately live in a world with too many options these days. One uncertainty leads to logging on to a Tinder profile.
Sure an explanation would have been good, but in today’s digital world, texting plays a huge part in the courting process. Since he didn’t send you a text to say, “Sorry, I don’t think we’re a fit,” he just may plan on reaching out again in a few weeks after he sees what else is out there. Hopefully by then, you’ll have met someone and won’t have any interest in the disappearing ghosting guy.
Keep me posted.
Have you ever been ghosted?
Send your dating questions and share your stories at CyberDatingExpert.com/contact
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Need help with your Tinder profile? Find out how our Swiping Right program will help you find your dream date.
I’ve been seeing this guy for 3 months and everything seemed to be going great. He’s very affectionate and talked about his feelings openly with me. On the other hand, I always have a hard time expressing my feelings. On New Year’s Eve, he was telling me how he felt about me and asked me about how I felt as well, but I couldn’t give him a definite answer.
He introduced me to his friends and some family, however since New Year’s he became very distant. He was always the one calling me and has pretty much stopped. I’ve tried to initiate talking to him since then, but he started acting cold.
Now a friend of mine found him on Tinder and I’m devastated. Do you think he’s a player? What do I do? He hasn’t tried to contact me since either. Please help.
Thanks for your sending in your question.
The three month mark is a pivotal point for many relationships. Often it’s the time when a couple who has been dating decides to take the relationship to the next level, to see each other exclusively, and even start referring to each other as “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.”
The fact that he spent New Year’s Eve with you tells me that you are important to him. If he expressed his feelings favorably and didn’t get any positive feedback from you, chances are his ego was hurt and he might assume you aren’t on the same page and don’t feel the same for him. If this is the case, I wouldn’t call him a player. I think he gave the relationship a shot for three months and didn’t believe you felt the same way about him. It could have shattered his self esteem and ego and he might want to find an emotionally available man.
When a man opens up to a woman about his feelings, he’s opening up his heart and puts himself in a vulnerable position. If he even says he thinks he’s falling in love with her and asks her how she feels about it, he’s hoping to hear that she feels the same way.
Depending on how often you were seeing each other, three months is a significant amount of time for a couple to decide if they want to be exclusive and take the relationship to the next level, often typically for another three months to see how things will be at the six month mark.
If he’s acting distant, know that his feelings were probably hurt. Think about it this way. If you told him that you loved him and he couldn’t say it back, how would you feel? Chances are you might start pulling back or even look at other guys who you think are emotionally available and are ready for a relationship. This is probably how he is feeling.
If he stopped calling you completely, he might think it’s over between the two of you, or he might just want some time and space to see how he feels. I wouldn’t chase him as it would push him away more.
A lot of guys are on Tinder, but that doesn’t mean he’s dating anyone else. He may just be viewing profiles to compare the other women to what he had with you, while he’s sorting it out.
Unless you’re prepared to give him the answer that he wants, which is that you feel the same way about him, calling him really won’t be beneficial. Think hard about why you want to be with him. If you think it was a really special relationship and have strong feelings about him, you need to let him know. If you’re feeling rejected that you aren’t hearing from him, but don’t know how you feel about him, then let him go and find someone who wants to have a relationship.
Know that everyone goes at a different pace. In the future if a guy asks you how you feel about him and the relationship, always be honest. If you think you’re feelings could be growing, let him know that you hope to catch up to him and are enjoying getting to know him. This will keep him interested in you.
It appears to me that he got rejected by you and now you’re feeling rejected by his distance. Write down all of the things you liked about this guy and write down the things you didn’t like about him. Review your list and if you think this is someone you really want in your life, give it a little time and then text him and ask him if he’d like to meet you for coffee or write him a letter and let him know that it’s just harder for you to express your feelings than it is for him, but that you’d like to give it another shot.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Do you have a dating question for Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Ready to jump in to online dating? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.
This week, we’re excited to share a post for women daters from our guest blogger, Joshua Pompey.
Finding a quality man on the Internet isn’t always easy. Sure, they’re out there in large quantities, but trying to distinguish between the good ones and bad ones can be daunting. One false move and you could wind up on a date with yet another serial dater.
I’m here to tell you not to worry. Know that finding a quality man online isn’t as tough as you might think.
Let’s take a look at the five signs you are talking to a great guy online.
1. His photo gallery tells the right visual story. Some men will write profiles and emails that seem to good to be true. These men are interesting, charming, and fun to talk to, but do his photos match the image he’s portraying, or are they filled with four similar pictures by himself in his room? Men with a lot to offer usually have a vast amount of life experiences and will show them off in many ways throughout their photo gallery. The more pictures you see of a man with friends, co-workers, family members, and on random adventures, the more likely this man is someone interesting and worth pursuing.
2. His first email is unique, fun, and engaging. ??You may be attracted to his photos and you may even like this unique profile. However it appears that he copied and pasted the same message to twenty other women that day. Spammed emails are a huge sign that you are dealing with a potential serial dater, a man who is just not that interesting, or is just lazy. If his email is personalized, he just might be a great guy.
3. His profile is positive. ??A man worth engaging with online is a man who is happy with his life. Any profile that is filled with negativity or qualities of what a man doesn’t want in a woman, is a red flag that the man might be jaded, not all that happy, or a negative person in general. If you avoid the negative profiles, you’ll find someone who appears to be happy with his life.
4. He won’t say,“I’ll tell you later” in his profile. Any man that takes online dating seriously is going to put a lot of effort into the creation of his profile and fill it out completely. This is because he will actually want to find someone to be in a serious relationship with. A man with a half-blank profile may be sending a message that he has something to hide.
5. He doesn’t log on all day long.?Do you want to know why some men log in every five seconds? Because they are talking to tons of women online. Chances are he might be a serial dater. Quality men don’t have time to log on dating sites all day long. They’re busy with work or their active lives.
What quality traits do you find in a man while looking for love online?
Joshua Pompey has been helping online daters to succeed through his products and services at a success rate of over 99% since 2009. For more information visit https://jpompey.com/ladies/online-dating-advice/ for free dating advice.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Even though Father’s Day is a recent memory, it’s good to point out that single and divorced dads are quite active on online dating sites.
As a matter of fact, Match reports that 30% of their male subscribers are indeed single dads. PlentyofFish tells us that almost 45% of single men in the United States on their site who are between the ages of 30 and 50 are single dads!
So what’s the secret to blending your dating life and dating a single dad?
1. Communication. Talking about your relationship with your children is the most important part of dating a single or divorced parent. Some single dads have split schedules with their children and others are full-time dads. Some have children in college and some even have grandchildren. Talking about your schedules, when to introduce them to someone you’re dating and your long-term goals about staying single or blending a family should happen in the early stages of dating.
2. Tell, don’t post. While your kids are a priority, posting photos of them in your primary dating photo is not recommended. Instead, mention in the body of your profile the ages of your children and how important they are in your life.
3. Respect the calendar. Be understanding of his schedule. Remember, a single dad is juggling kids activities, carpooling the children back to their mother’s home, and possibly a demanding work schedule, while still trying to find time to date. When it comes to to big holiday events, you just might need to celebrate with him on a different date.
4. Love, but don’t parent. There should be an endless amount of love for all children, but when they aren’t your own, resist the urge to discipline and become a parent. Show them love and kindness and make sure it’s not your goal to steal his heart away from his children. It’s not a competition to see who ranks higher on the totem pole. It’s about adding joy to their lives, when the time is right.
The good news is that single dads are 46% more likely to meet someone on their dating site as compared to men without children, according to Match.
When are the guys most often searching for love online?
Match reports that single dads log on most often between 6:00am and 9:00am in the morning before their workday begins.
The good news is that more than half of single dads will email single moms than men without children. Single dads spend time in the trenches with their kids, so they will tend to be more empathetic to your family schedule as well.
Are you a single dad looking for love online?
Find out how our Irresistible Profiles can help you find your dream date.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and helps singles who are looking for love online and IRL. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.