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10 Absolutely Fun Summer Dating Ideas

Hello Summer!

You crept up fast.  It’s time to list some of our best date ideas for summer love for when you’re done swiping right on mobile dating apps, have been successfully matched on dating sites, and it’s time to meet IRL.

Happy dating and enjoy the sunshine!

 

Baseball heart

1. Go to a baseball game

It’s the season for America’s favorite past time. Nibble on peanuts and Cracker Jack and enjoy the 7th inning stretch.

Check the MLB.com website for dates and times.

Not in a baseball city? Find a minor league game near you.

 

 

Festival concept.

2. Find a free outdoor concert

Combine summertime, being outdoors, and music, and it’s a great recipe for love.

Bring a picnic meal and a blanket and take in the sounds of local artists in your area.

Some museums and parks actually have well-known musicians performing, so check your local papers and online sites.

 

Ferris Wheel - Summer Date Ideas

 

3. Ride the Ferris Wheel

Go to an amusement park and ride the Ferris Wheel or even the roller coaster, if you dare.

Feeling like a big kid on your date will be fun for everyone involved. If you’re on the top of the Ferris Wheel, lean over for a magical kiss to remember.

 

Drive in movies dating ideas
 

4. Watch an outdoor movie

While drive-in theaters have become obsolete, the trend of watching movies on a big screen at a shopping center, or local park has become all the rage.

Remember to bring a blanket to bundle up in with your date for when it starts to get cold towards the end of the evening.

Bar-B-Q or BBQ4. Barbecue

Nothing says more of hot fun in the summertime than grilling with your date.

Make sure to go grocery shopping together to spice up the date. Cooking together can be filled with laughter. Don’t forget to pick up chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers to make s’mores for dessert.

 

bike riding date

5. Go on a bike ride

Bicycle paths seem to be more abundant and more filled in the summertime. Make it even more memorable and romantic by renting a bicycle built for two! Remember to take photos, and of course, ask for permission before posting to Instagram or Facebook.

 

Beach Yoga Date

6. Take a Beach Yoga Class

Yoga is sexy on a date and saying you’re a yoga enthusiast will get more views and right swipes to your dating profiles.

Remember to bring your sunscreen and relax while you feel the connection with your date. 

If you don’t live near a beach, check out the many outdoor classes held in parks across the country.

 

 

Chefs at work

7. Take a cooking Class

Cooking together is just sexy! Creating a dish together that you can make on a future date at home is considered a form of foreplay.

Stores such as Sur le Table nationwide have cooking classes on their calendar. If you can’t find one near you, check out the local universities and colleges or a MeetUp group for foodies.

car icon set illustration

8. Snack at the Food Trucks

Many neighborhoods have a food truck day. Find out which day or night they’ll be parked in your neighborhood.

From a vegan or healthy green truck to  spicy Mexican cuisine, there’s a favorite truck for every type of palate!

 

Zoo dating10. Go to a zoo

For G-rated petting fun, head to your local zoo to feed the animals.  Take it a step further and walk into the petting zoo and spend time with the llamas and sheep.

Remember to check with your date to see if they are allergic to animals.

 

Remember to memorialize your fun outdoor summer date by snapping photos. Who knows, you just might end up with a nice kiss at the end of the date to add to your digital memory book.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for online dating advice.

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She coaches singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs to help them find love IRL.

How to Tell Your Date You’re Not Interested Without Ghosting

For those of you who think dating is a numbers or a swiping game, it goes much deeper and more personal that. We’re talking about love, big time. How to find it, how to nurture it, and how to keep it.

Dating, especially online dating or using mobile dating apps, continues to grow in popularity, but what happens when you’ve had three of four dates with someone, have had a heavy making out session, or have even gotten more intimate physically, but something just doesn’t click?

Or, what happens when you realize that you have more chemistry with your ex and playing the field didn’t work out the way you had hoped?

In these cases, rather than do a disappearing act and ghost someone, I’m here with some valuable dating advice and to tell you to pick up your big boy pants or put on your shiny lipstick and tell the person you’ve been dating the truth, instead of fading away and ignoring calls and texts. After all, you were in a relationship, regardless of how you defined it.

via GIPHY

How the convo should go when you’re not feeling it

Text exchange

Your Date: I’d love to get together again this weekend. How’s Saturday night?

You: I don’t think that will work.

Your Date: What about Friday or Sunday?

RELATED: The Text Message Breakup: Who’s Doing It?

You: This weekend’s not good. Let’s hop on a phone call, sound good?

Your Date: Sure…

Phone Call (after just a few dates) or In Person (If you’re been dating for a while)

You: I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you and have had fun texting you, but I just don’t think we have enough in common for a long term relationship, and I know that’s what you’re looking for. You deserve that with someone. I just don’t think it’s me.

Your Date:  We’re just getting to know each other. We can continue to take the time to spend time together, to see where it goes. There’s no rush.

You: I think you’re terrific. I just don’t think we’re a fit and it’s best that we move on to meet others that we are both more compatible with.

Your Date: We can still date casually, right? I mean, I really like you.

You: I really like you too, but I don’t think we’re a fit. I see myself in a future with someone I’m more compatible with.  We both deserve to find someone that we’re both excited about and I wish you the best in your search.

RELATED: The Dating Expert Guide to Breaking Up

Now, you’re probably wondering why you should go through the agony of having this conversation, when it’s easier to just “unmatch” with him or her and go MIA? But everyone deserves to know why the person they were tongue kissing with has had a change of heart.

via GIPHY

Don’t turn your soon to be ex date into a stalker, over-texter, or obsessive person looking for an answer. Closure is important and healthy for both of you, so you can move on and find someone  that wouldn’t result in having this chat.

Don’t stalk your ex’s social media pages, as it will be harder for you to move on.

via GIPHY

Love takes time and if you’re not feeling it after a few dates, it’s fine to say you’d like to be friends, but most people don’t really mean it. It’s a sugar coated excuse for a breakup, something everyone deserves with dignity when you don’t ride into the sunset together.

Compatibility, chemistry, compassion, communication and closure are my five C’s for finding love in digital age.

RELATED: When it’s OK to Break Up in a Text

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating services. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and was the recipient of the 2017 Best Dating Coach of the Year Award.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Online Dating: Star Wars Fans Get More Dates

Star Wars Day

If you’re single and are a “Star Wars” fan, we’ve got good news for you.

Our friends at PlentyofFish analyzed over 13 million profiles of their online dating users in the United States, and found that those who list “Star Wars” as an interest on their profiles are 61% more likely to leave the site in a relationship than non-fans.

In honor of Star Wars Day, POF lists the top 10 cities to date a Star Wars Fan.

  1. Los Angeles
  2. San Antonio
  3. San Diego
  4. Las Vegas
  5. Orlando
  6. Houston
  7. Phoenix
  8. Jacksonville
  9. Colorado Springs
  10. Chicago

So what exactly is Star Wars Day?

ABC News reported that “the pun was first used back in 1979, with Britain’s Conservative Party congratulating Margaret Thatcher in print for taking the prime minister post that day.

Canada’s Globe and Mail newspaper, claims the first organized “Star Wars” event on May 4 took place in 2011 at the Toronto Underground Cinema.

What Should Single Star Wars Fans Do?

If you’re single and dating online or on mobile dating apps, make sure to list that you’re a Star Wars fan in your favorites, as other singles just might be searching for someone just like you. Take it a step further and post something fun on Facebook or Instagram.

For those of you who live in cities not listed in the top 10, don’t fret. You can change your zipcode as many couples have moved for love.

One of our featured couples on Facebook Love Stories, Sophie and Trevor, actually met in a Facebook fan group for Star Wars. He lived in the U.S. and she lived in the U.K. and now they are happily married, with thanks to Star Wars.

Happy Star Wars Day and May the 4th be with you, wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles coaching programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for dating advice

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter

What to Do When He Cancels Your Date

canceled date

So you’ve met a great guy online and he’s asked you out again because you had off the chart chemistry and the conversation just flowed on your first date.

Congratulations! You’re making it past the one-and-done dating grind, which is common for online daters and singles using mobile dating apps.

What happens next? You give your girlfriends the good news about your hot date and you and your date get into a groove texting each other every day. Good morning and good night texts keep you connected and keep the very important momentum going during the early stages of dating.

Finally, the day comes when you’re going on your second date with your dream guy, so you pick up your favorite date dress from the dry cleaner’s, get your hair blown dry during lunch so you can look and feel remarkable, and everything feels great.

Then the familiar chime of his customized text rings on your phone. You smile, because you’re sure he’s as excited as you are about the date and he’s just sending a text to confirm your date like a true gentleman.

It’s an hour until date time and as you look down at your phone, your heart falls to your knees. The text says,

“Sorry…have to cancel, not feeling well. Can we reschedule?”

Your gut says, hey he knew he was sick all day and I just spent $50 on a blow dry. This is not cool. You’re not happy and you’re not even sure if he’s sick, found someone else, got back together with his ex, or if he double booked dates on calendar by mistake. Let’s face it, texts like these do happen while dating in a digital world.

RELATED: Gone Fishing, or Is It Over?

What’s a girl to do? The first thing not to do is pout. If you’re both dating online, realize you’re dating other people until you decide to be exclusive. Sure, maybe he got sick and was excited to see you and was hoping he’d feel better by 5pm. Maybe the dog ate his paper and you don’t recall him mentioning having a dog. Maybe he had a work project he had to deal with and felt it was easier to say he wasn’t feeling well. It doesn’t matter. You’re date-ready and his text might be the beginning of the end, or at least the end of a well-planned date.

Here’s the thing about when someone cancels a date.

You really don’t know why he canceled and after going on only one date together, you don’t need to be a cyber detective and make yourself crazy.

RELATED: How to Handle the Dreaded Pull Back

Here’s what you don’t do:

  • Don’t check his Instagram or Facebook to see his last check in or post.
  • Don’t text him more than once to see how he’s feeling.
  • Don’t assume he’s double dipping. The guy really could have come down with the flu.
  • Don’t bitch about it on social media. No one wants to see a “Debbie Downer.”
  • Don’t stay home. You’re already date-ready and you might even meet someone more exciting.

Here’s what you should do:

  • Do give him the benefit of the doubt if he does indeed reschedule. Guys don’t do well with being sick and if it’s contagious, he’s doing you a favor by canceling.
  • Do reply to his text and ask if you can bring over chicken soup!
  • Do find a girlfriend and go out anyway or go online and see if some guy you’ve been chatting with is free to meet you for a drink.
  • Do find your favorite happy hour and go flirt up a storm. Remember to smile and say hello to strangers.
  • Do wait for your date to reach out and reschedule and show him that you can go with the flow, this one time.

RELATED: What to Do When He Pulls Back

If you end up going on the rescheduled makeup date, don’t bring up the reasons your previous date was canceled. Act like it’s still a first date and let him get enamored with you and continue to pursue and court you.  Make sure another date is put on the calendar after the end of a fabulous date, so you can look forward to seeing each other again. Keep the momentum going.

If the same guy cancels again, let him go. It’s time for you to find an available man who won’t look at you as an option, and won’t be playing games and tugging at your heartstrings.

Remember to keep your online dating profile active while you’re casually dating, so you can fill  your date card or chat on your mobile dating app. Perhaps you should kick the date canceler to the curb.

You deserve better and you will find someone else in the crowded digital playground called online dating.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her signature Irresistible Profiles for over 20 years.

Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

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How to Flirt BIG TIME on St. Patrick’s Day

Cyber Dating ExpertSt. Patrick’s Day is here, and it’s time to get into the spirit of this flirty holiday.

Years ago, I would wear a button that said “Kiss Me, I’m Irish,” even though there was not a speck of Irish blood in me.

To help you flirt, big time and to ramp up your digital flirting skills, here’s the online dating expert’s guide to flirting on St. Patrick’s Day.

 

1. Send a flirty text. Texting the the person you have a crush on to say “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” will brighten their day. Add a four-leaf clover emoji. Even if they aren’t Irish, chances are they’ll reply to you.

2. Wear green. Find the tackiest flashing buttons, goofiest, hats, and make sure to wear something green to celebrate. It’s the easiest way to strike up a conversation with someone on St. Patrick’s Day.

3. Change your dating profile. It’s time to mix it up online. Post a photo wearing something green, ask if someone wants to get lucky in love, post quotes about the luck of the Irish and St. Patrick’s Day on your profiles and on social media. Get bolder and post “Kiss me if you’re Irish.” Start swiping right in the morning on Tinder, Bumble, or other mobile dating apps to find a date by the afternoon.

4. Send a GIF. Open your mobile dating app and send a GIF to your digital crush. These days, apps such as Tinder, Bumble, or even Twitter are using Giphy. Send a fun animated GIF to someone you’ve been chatting with to spice up the convo.

5. Send an animated e-card. We’re big fans of JibJab!, where you send a customized a video or e-card starring you. It will come complete with background music and is guaranteed to give a smile or two.

6. Smile everywhere you go. A smile is contagious and everyone wants to be around someone who appears to be happy. Practice the 5-second stare while smiling at someone you would like to meet. It’s the cue for them to come over and wish you a “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.” Who knows where the conversation will lead?

7. Compliment everyone. You might normally run away from the guy with the tacky green tee shirt, but stop and say hello. Take it one step further and pose in a ‘selfie’ together. He won’t be able to help himself and will put his arm around you for the photo. If the sparks start to fly, it’s your invitation to continue the conversation. Be even bolder and post it, with permission of course, on Facebook or Instagram.

8. Find a parade. Go to a St. Patrick’s Day parade in your city. Everyone loves a parade and it will give you an excuse to start a conversation with those you end up bundled up with.

 

9. Go to the dog park. There’s a reason it’s called puppy love. Put a green bandana on your dog’s collar and take a walk to the local dog park. Your dog will do the flirting for you and it will be a great conversation starter.

10. Make a Shamrock Shake. We have a healthy recipe for a Shamrock Shake that you’ll absolutely love and it can be a fun date idea. If you aren’t into buying the ingredients, and are flying solo, head to Starbucks for a coffee date and order a green tea Frappuccino, or go to a sushi bar and order green tea and green tea ice cream.

 

Wishing you much love, luck, and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her Irresistible Profiles for over 20 years.

Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

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Julie Spira Talks to KABC TV With 10 Dating Safety Tips

Everyday can be like Valentine’s Day, since dating and love never go out of style.

A huge thank you to KABC TV in Los Angeles for having me on Eyewitness News to share 10 of my dating safety tips. It’s my goal to help you date safely 365 days out of the year. Keep in mind, most daters have good intentions, but to be safe, follow these rules.

Some of the online dating safety tips include:

  • Facetime, Skype and/or Phone Date – Use technology to make sure you’re not dating a “bot” and to pass the phone chemistry test.
  • Visit Linkedin and Facebook  – See if you have friends in common and ask them to give you the digital thumbs up or thumbs down on your mutual connection.
  • Be Careful of the Country Dates or Emails from a Military – While I know a man from Los Angeles who married a woman from Paris, if someone contacts you from out of the country, use video chat to make sure they are real and check their punctuation. If someone from the military has a sob story and asks you for money, report them to the dating site.

RELATED: 10 SAFEST CITIES IN THE U.S. FOR ONLINE DATING

  • Saying “I Love You” Too Soon – Some people use those three little words that will make you swoon, but if you haven’t met, how can you really be in love? Sure they “get you,” but if they are mirroring your profile and you think they’re too good to be true, perhaps they are.
  • Meet in a Public Place – While it seems logical to meet in a public place, often someone will invite you to their place to “hang out” or “netflix and chill.” All first dates must be in a public place and let a friend know where you’re going and the screen/profile name of your date.

KABC Dating Safety Tips

  • Don’t Get in Anyone’s Car – While it’s chivalrous to be picked up at home, tell your date if they offer to do so, that you’d like to save that for the second or third date.
  • No Late Night Dates – With mobile apps, you can meet someone almost instantly 24 hours a day. If someone suggests a first date after 9pm, take a pass. That screams “booty call” and you don’t know if someone else was the dinner date, while you’re becoming dessert.
  • Don’t Sext Before Meeting – A Match Study showed that 34% of singles are actually having sex BEFORE they meet.  Millennials up that number to 48%! Remember, anything you text can be shared and if it doesn’t work out, chances are it will. My rule of thumb is, if you don’t want your parents, children, or boss to see your text, then don’t push the send button.
  • Let Google Be Your Best Friend – With my dating coaching programs, I conduct a Google search for email addresses, photos, and phone numbers. While I don’t believe in kissing and telling, I also don’t believe in googling and telling. Sneak a peek and be a cyber-sleuth and if something seems very off, cancel the date.
  • Limit Your Drinking on a First Date – If you’re out for dinner or drinks and are having a great time, instead of ordering a second drink or going home, order a club soda instead. Getting intoxicated on a date could lead to problems you might regret in the morning.

RELATED: Online Dating Expert Julie Spira Named Best Dating Coach at iDate Awards

Remember, how you act offline when meeting someone new is the same as how you should act online. Be safe and enjoy the ride.

Happy dating and I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

LIKE us on Facebook!

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Match Singles in America Study Says Put Your Phone Away

Online Dating Anxiety Disorder

Every year, our friends at Match conduct an in-depth survey of singles to determine their habits in a variety of topics.

In the 7th annual Singles in America study, released for Valentine’s, the dating site surveyed 5000 singles and showed that many suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out) on social media, and that some are addicted to the process that I call Online Dating Anxiety Disorder, or ODAD.

On the Match blog, they posted their findings and found that 15% of singles say they feel addicted to the process of looking for a date. It gets worse for millennials, where they are 125% more likely to feel addicted to dating, than older generations.

Singles in America - ODAD

RELATED: Online Dating Anxiety Disorder: Is it Worse During the Holidays?

What’s interesting to note, is that men suffer more from online dating addiction, with 97% admitted to feeling addicted to finding a date, as compared to 54% of women who are feeling burned out while looking for love.

What is Online Dating Disorder, and Do You Have it?

Online dating anxiety disorder, online dating addition disorder, or even online dating fatigue. I call it ODAD and it happens to singles who swipe all day long on mobile apps and to those with the shopping cart mentality who feel there’s another pretty face around the corner. When this happens, I encourage singles to take a break, take a walk, go to the movies, and leave your mobile phone at home.

RELATED: Holiday Dating Online: Does it Make You Anxious?

If this feels like a dating doomsday story, that’s not exactly the case. The good news is over half (53%) of singles have created a dating profile and 40% of singles actually met someone they found online, as compared to 25% of singles surveyed who said they met someone from a friend.

So if you’re feeling burned out on dating and tired of swiping, my best advice to you is to take a mini break. Spend time with your friends, read a good book, have a girls’ or guys’ night out and then jump back on the digital dating saddle and log on for love.

Leave Your Mobile Phone OFF the Table During a Date

Single in America Match Phones
Source: SinglesinAmerica.com

Remember, your mobile phone is really for emergencies if you’re on a date, or for confirming a date with someone, other than the person you’re sitting across from. Keep that phone in your purse and pocket and focus on getting to know your date. The Match survey found that 75% of singles are turned off if you answer your phone on a date and 66% aren’t keen on you texting during a date.

While this seems to make common sense, one of the biggest complaints I get from clients as a dating coach, is that their date was texting and tweeting during the date. Don’t do this. Put your phone away!

If you happen to love your meal and can’t resist taking a photo for your instagram account, ask permission from your date to do so, instead of just snapping away. Let your date know you’re a foodie and love the meal in front of you. This way he or she will be pleased on the selection of the date and won’t feel like they are lower on the dating totem pole than your not-so-smart phone.

For more on the survey visit SinglesinAmerica.com.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her Irresistible Profiles programs for over 20 years. Julie’s the recent winner of the 2017 iDate Awards for Best Dating Coach and is the author of the bestseller The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and ranks as the most influential person in social media in “dating” and “online dating.”

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

What Do I Do If He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day?

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

In this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a single woman is feeling anxious because the guy she’s dating hasn’t asked her out yet for Valentine’s Day. Here’s her question and our answer.

Dear Julie,

I met this great guy online and we’ve gone out on five dates since the New Year. I really like him and we haven’t discussed dating exclusively yet, but I’ve seen him the past two Saturday nights, so I really think I’m becoming his girlfriend.

Should I be worried that he didn’t ask me out yet for Valentine’s Day? It’s next week, so what is he waiting for? Would it be wrong of me to bring it up first? Maybe he was focused on football, but that game is over and I really want to spend Valentine’s with him.

What should I say or do?

Corrine

Dear Corrine,

First of all, congratulations on meeting a great guy online. January is one of the busiest months for online dating and lots of singles are joining dating sites as part of their New Year’s resolutions list.

You didn’t mention if both of you still have ACTIVE dating profiles up or not. I have a feeling you probably do, as if you haven’t had the talk about exclusivity or Valentine’s, he might assume you’re dating other people and he might be doing the same.

Believe it or not, most guys don’t like Valentine’s Day. They think it’s overrated, expensive, and would rather stay home and watch TV. However the romantic and smart ones will know that if they don’t ask you out on the biggest romance day of the week, they’ll be in the dog house and might not get a chance to continue dating you after the 14th. Is this harsh? I think it’s more a matter of tradition.

READ MORE: Why Valentine’s Day for Women is Like the Super Bowl for Men

So if you have a dating profile that’s still online and you’d like to see this guy exclusively and hopefully for Valentine’s Day, I urge you NOT to log on.  He and his friends don’t need to see that you’re busy scouring the Internet for potential dates.  How would you feel after a great date with this new guy, if you noticed that he went online right away? Probably not great.

So my best advice is, if you don’t want to date others and really like this guy, then don’t. Take your profile down if you like, but don’t let him know that you did this.  You should do it for yourself, not because you think he has to do the same. He’ll probably notice it, but a man needs to make the decision to be exclusive based on how he feels when he’s with you. If your dates are fun and light and you’re a joy to be around, he’ll notice those red candy boxes everywhere and will probably want to do something with you for Valentine’s Day.

Towards the end of this week, let him know that you really are traditional and love sharing Valentine’s Day with the person you’re dating. Stop and LISTEN to what he says. If he starts to pull back or changes the subject, it might mean he has made other plans. The best thing you could do is not get upset with him. If he asks you out for the 13th or the 15th, reply with, “Oh, I was hoping I’d be your Valentine.”

READ MORE: 7 TIPS TO GET LUCKY IN LOVE ON VALENTINE’S DAY

You’ve only gone out on five dates and that’s a lot of pressure to put on a guy when a relationship is so new. Buy him a cute card, or better yet, there are so many fun cards on JibJab, the animated card site, so send him a humorous card; not something that says, “I love you,” and see how he responds.

The bottom line is, he knows it’s Valentine’s Day, but might not know how special that day is for you. Rather than having him spend a lot of money on a fancy restaurant, why not suggest collaborating on an in-room-dining experience, where each one of you brings or makes a different dish. It’s a great way to bond in a relationship without all of the pressure.

Do you have a question for Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Photo credit: Fotolia

7 Tips to Get Lucky in Love by Valentine’s

7 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine'sValentine’s is about one week away. Some singles are stressing big time about how to find a date for the most romantic day of the year. Others could care less and will hang out with friends or hide under the sheets alone.

If finding a date for Valentine’s is on your list, I have great news for you. With a little effort and the help of your mobile phone, you can get lucky and find a date by Valentine’s Day.

7 tips for singles to get lucky in love this Valentine’s Day

1. RSVP to all events and parties

Whether it’s a business mixer or speed dating event, go out, dress up, and wear that smile of yours. Check out some events on MeetUp or any singles events and don’t be shy.

2. Update your online dating profile

If your primary shot was from three years ago, it’s outdated. It’s time for a digital facelift to show off the new you. Post photos of a recent trip and caption them if you can. Find a favorite photo or two on Facebook or Instagram. If you got a new puppy add it to your profile, but don’t use it as a primary shot. Mobile dating app Tinder actually reorders your photos showing the best one first.

3. Download 3 mobile dating apps

Research shows that singles are using on average 3 mobile dating apps. They’re so easy to use and you can find a date in minutes, not days. A Pew research survey showed that the number of millennials using dating sites and apps has tripled in the last few years!

4. Be proactive and Upgrade During Peak Times

The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal. If you’re online, write to 5-10 people a day. Think of it like sending out 5-10 resumes a day if you’re looking for a job, only this is better. You could find the love of your life. Respond quickly and turn on those push notifications to find out when someone hot sends you a message!

Also, you can appear more frequently on sites and apps for just a few dollars.Did you know that OkCupid lets you know when it’s Rush Hour? Match has a Top Spot and Tinder has a Boost? All of them boost your profile to the top of the list in a search, where you can be viewed more than 10 times than normal. Yes, for less than the price of one cup of coffee, it’s worth a shot.

5. Check out your single friends on Facebook 

Have a digital crush? Check out his or her relationship status and if it it says “single,” go ahead and start flirting on Facebook chat. Plenty of couples have found love on the world’s largest social network, as can be seen on FacebookLoveStories.com.

6. Go to a restaurant or coffee shop with WIFI

Working from home? Why be alone when you can be out in public with your computer instead. Make sure to dress up and take walks to the restroom or pass by as many people as possible with a smile on your face. It will become your new office to work and flirt. Stop, stare, and smile.

7. Text an ex 

As a last resort, know that 20% of singles do text their former love on Valentine’s if they’re flying solo. Send a quick Happy Valentine’s message with an emoticon to your former flame. If you decide to do so, do it in the morning, not at night, as he or she might be on a Valentine’s date, or they might look at you as a late night booty call.

Remember, although Valentine’s Day is a big day for couples, the day after, February 15th, is Singles Awareness Day. Either way, love yourself first and love will come your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Looking for help with dating? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 
Photo credit: Fotolia

12 Best Mobile Apps For 8 Different Dating Goals

Irish IndependendWe know that everyone is looking for something different when it comes to matters of the heart.

With that in mind, there is no one-size-fits-all formula or perfect dating site for everyone and the average mobile dating app user is active on 3.5 mobile dating apps!

When reporter Chrissie Russell interviewed me as the dating expert for a special Valentine’s issue of the Irish Independent’s weekend magazine, I provided a list on how people can find the right dating website or app for them. The feature is called “Finding the Most Appealing Dating Technology.”

If you can’t pick up a copy of the magazine, here are some highlights that were featured.

Dating Apps for Different Relationship Goals

1. The Young Professional: Match is a great choice because of the large amount of members worldwide. You can search by his or her profession and list your profession in your profile choices. Hinge is a dating app geared towards young professionals and recently they eliminated the swiping feature to differentiate them from Tinder. Now they’re calling themselves, the relationship app.

READ MORE: Match Adds Misconnections Feature

2. Someone a Bit Cynical About Online Dating and Apps: If you’re cynical, have some fun with some niche dating apps such as Bristlr for women who fancy men with facial hair, Align to match you based on astrology, or Gluten Free Singles for the gluten-fee intolerant.

3. Someone Just Looking for Fun: Tinder started out with most of the users swiping right to hook up. Now they say 80% of their members are looking for a meaningful relationship. Read the mini bios on the profiles to see if you should swipe right or left to find someone fun to hang out with.

READ MORE: These Names Will Get You More Right Swipes on Tinder

4. Someone Who Wants Companionship: Many sites and apps will help you find friends. The Bumble app has a BFF feature, where you can switch from looking for a relationship, to looking for a friend to hang out with for a non-dating experience. They call it switching to the friend zone.  OkCupid also gives you a choice of searching for New Friends, Casual-Dating, Long-Term Dating, or Casual Sex. Happn is a great app, because it matches you based on who you’ve crossed paths with, as they are a geo-location app.

5. Someone Divorced or Widowed and a Bit Apprehensive of Online Dating: If you’re starting over and don’t want to be bombarded with cubs looking for cougars and might want to meet someone more serious, eHarmony, a name that’s been around since 2000 would be the way to go. They allow you to take your time in communicating with potential dates.

READ MORE: Bumble App Now Helps You Find Your BFF

6. Someone Sporty Who Wants to Avoid the Bar Scene: Avoiding the bar scene is high on a lot of singles’ lists. Any site or app that has a chat feature would be good to have a virtual drink date. You can both grab a glass of bubbly or your favorite spirit and chat. If you’re a workout fanatic,, try the new Sweatt app for fitness enthusiasts.

7. Gay or Bi-Curious: Grindr was the original app for gay men, but these days many sites allow you to search based on your sexual preferences. Check out OkCupid, where in the drop down menu of your profile you can state if you’re Straight, Gay, or Bi-sexual. Click the more button and you’ll find a wider selection including Asexual, Demisexual, Heteroflexible, Homosexual, Lesbian, Pansexual, Queer, Questioning, and Sapiosexual. That’s a pretty full menu. Tinder just added a new gender feature, which includes transgender relationships.

8. Someone Not Very Good with Technology: For those technically challenged, they won’t be happy with any site. I suggest they enlist the help of a dating coach with experience in this area. A recent PEW research study showed that 30% of women had someone write their profiles. If you really can’t stomach logging on and swiping right, find a professional who can do this. As one who’s been been coaching singles for over 20 years, I do the work for many busy CEOs, or technically challenged singles, to be their digital wing woman. It solves the goal of meeting someone, while not having to be attached to the push notifications on your cell phones.

READ MORE: Find out How Irresistible Profiles Will Help You Find Your Dream Date

About Julie:

Julie Spira is the world’s top online and mobile dating expert. As an early adopter of the Internet, Julie has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and ranks as the most influential person in social media in the categories of “dating” and “online dating.” Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and is the go-to person in the media, having appeared in over 1000 stories on the intersection of dating and technology. She was the winner of the 2017 iDate Awards for Best Dating Coach.  She’s also listed as one of the top 10 columnists to follow on Twitter.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

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