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Can Trump and Non-Trump Supporters Still be Friends?

 

Can Trump and Non-Trump Supporters Still be Friends?

Photo credit: Fotolia

A new politics study from Pew Research Center confirms the pain that many of you have been feeling both online and offline; friendships and romance are feeling stressed when the subject of Donald Trump comes up, and inevitably it will.

The Pew poll of over 2,500 adults conducted from June 27 – July 9, 2017, and released on July 20, 2018, shows that a majority (52%) of American’s are paying attention to politics since Donald Trump was elected president, with almost 60% of women driving the political conversations.

Almost half of the Democrats in the study admit that supporting Donald Trump is putting a strain on relationships, and members of both parties believe that someone supporting the other party didn’t share the same values and goals as they did. Most of us know someone who has lost a friend or romantic partner due to differing politics, right?

Pew Politics Study
 

I believe this strong divisiveness is a reality that isn’t going to go away soon.

While researching my upcoming book, Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships, I have seen similar findings, with women being less willing to date across party lines than men. I’ve also witnessed the testing of friendships, and people who quickly unfriended and blocked people they used to be close with on social media.

As someone who’s in the business of forging love relationships, I believe in taking an inclusive approach, and for people to be open-minded about listening to another point of view, but I’m even more aware that the struggle is real, and the stress that Pew has confirmed is as intense as the reality show that our country is living in.

RELATED: Love and Loss in the Age of Trump

I’ve gone on record as saying politics ranks higher on the dating totem pole than dating a smoker who could quit.  In addition, we’ve added the subject “politics” to all of our dating coaching consultations, and have found the majority of liberals said they wouldn’t date a Trump supporter, with the majority of conservatives said they’d prefer not to talk about politics.

Pew Politics Study
When dating site OkCupid asked the simple question of “Trump?” in their online questionnaire, the majority of their members who answered said, “Hell no,” and since 90% of their members support the ACLU, singles are proudly including the #RighttoLove badge in their profiles as part of the partnership with the ACLU.

If you’re single and living in D.C., there will be slim pickings when it comes to dating. Politico reports that if you work for the Trump administration, it’s hard to find a date,  but this isn’t happening just in D.C. I see it everywhere.

These days, on Facebook, even a political cartoon can result in a visceral reaction from your friends.

When I posted the meme of Bob and Sally on Facebook, I was trying to get a temperature reading from my friends. The meme went viral, and the comments poured in, with the majority saying “No, we can’t be friends with a Trump supporter.” Many took it a step further and said, “We can’t even be friends with someone who is friends with a Trump supporter.”

Bob and Sally - Politics
I was told I wasn’t taking a strong enough position against my Trump-supporting social media friends, even though the majority of my friends did lean to the left.

I have strong views and opinions where it comes to our current administration but have an even stronger desire to make sure love prevails past Trump’s current or potential future term.

RELATED: SURVEY: Singles Would Rather Have Bad Sex Than Date a Trump Supporter

If Politics is Important to You, Wear it Proudly

Yes, Donald Trump has polarized our country, our families, and our friends. Wearing a political baseball cap including “#NOTMYPRESIDENT” or on the opposite side, a “MAGA” hat, are now both front and center on dating profiles.

OkCupid profiles are proudly filled with the #RighttoLove badge, and singles now instruct potential partners to “swipe left if you voted right.”

This presidency has brought the conversation about values and attitudes to the table, and I believe that’s a good thing. Finding someone like-minded about the issues that are the most important to you will help you find a partner to join you on this turbulent journey in Trump’s America.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and is the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of the upcoming book, Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships and has been coaching singles for almost 25 years on finding love online.

Contact Julie

FOLLOW @JulieSpira

International Kissing Day – Are You Ready for that First Kiss?

national kissing day

You don’t need to be watching a romantic-comedy to know that a first kiss can be the beginning of a beautiful romance, or not.

On Friday, July 6th, it will be International Kissing Day, so if you didn’t kiss that hottie during the fireworks display on Fourth of July, here are some tips from our friends at Coffee Meets Bagel to get it right.

This week will be one of the busiest times of the summer, with Coffee Meets Bagel telling me they saw a 33% jump in sign-ups on July 3rd and 21% on July 4th last year.

Match has declared Sunday, July 8th as the busiest day of the summer for activity on their online dating site.

RELATED: Summer Profile Dating Tips You Can Make Instantly

From French kissing, to how many dates should you go on before that first passionate kiss, here are some kissing turn-ons and turn-offs.

Coffee Meets Bagel Kissing Survey

  • 42% of women and 40% of men say the best time to lean in for the kiss is near the end of the date.
  • 49% of women want the kiss to be light and gentle with lips closed, followed closely with 47% pf want a deep kiss with no tongue.
  • 47% of men find bad breath a turn-off and 31% of women gave a thumbs down to too much tongue or saliva
  • 64% of women and 58% of men agreed that the magic length of the first kiss should be 2-5 seconds. Anything longer would be a turn-off and anything shorter doesn’t measure up.

RELATED: The Benefits of Dating While on Vacation

If you’re nervous about leaning in for the first kiss, don’t be. The Coffee Meets Bagel survey found that only 2% of both men and women found just a peck with lips barely touching a turn-on.

One tip that I always recommend at the end of a date, is to ask the person permission for a kiss. Just simply saying, “May I kiss you goodnight?” will show you respect your date and you’ll get the cue if it’s safe to lean in for that smooch. 

So grab your lip gloss, bring some breath mints, and get ready for a week of kissing.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may kiss, swipe, or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

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Summer Love – The Benefits of Dating While on Vacation

Summer Heart

If your date card is empty, try casting a wider net and schedule some summertime dates, out-of-town.

The summer heat is rolling, school’s out, the airports are crowded, and it’s time to start thinking about summer love and your very own fireworks display.

The Fourth of July holiday is around the corner, National Kissing Day, just two days later on July 6th, and Match predicts the busiest day for dating this summer will be on Saturday, July 8th.

With that in mind, it’s also a busy time for online dating, with new singles joining dating sites to find a summer romance, or maybe even more.

As a dating coach, I always recommend that singles expand their search by changing their zip codes. If you knew the person of your dreams was in another city, would you be willing to hop on a plane to meet him or her?

RELATED: Pucker Up. It’s National Kissing Day

To make it easier to date while in vacation mode, I have two approaches that work well.

1. Act like your in vacation mode.

Have you ever noticed how friendly people are while they’re on vacation? They let their guards down and don’t size each other up based on their resumes and work history like they do at home. As a result, it’s easier to strike up a conversation with someone who’s sitting next to you on a plane, or poolside as you sip on a frozen libation. If your summer doesn’t include a fantastic trip to the Greek Islands, why not act as if you’re there? Try smiling more often, engaging with someone who’s not your usual type, and even the playing field while leaving work behind.

2. Go on a Date-Cation

This means getting prepared in advance, by joining or being very active on an online dating site before you leave, using mobile dating apps when you’re there, changing your profiles to indicate that you’ll be on vacation and listing the city, and going on dates every day while you’re gone. 

While the thought of becoming a serial dater while on vacation might not sound appealing, it’s effective, and you’ll have an opportunity to be the out-of-town girl or guy everyone wants to meet.

While I recommend going into the vacation zone for singles, whether they’re home or venturing out to another city, don’t just take my word for it.

RELATED: Summer Dating Profile Tips You Can Make Instantly

Online dating site Plenty of Fish polled over 1500 singles in the U.S. aged 18-60 to find out how they felt about dating while on vacation. It turns out the majority (over 70 percent) were open to the opportunity to go on a date while out of town.

While I’m not an advocate of the ‘Mile High Club,” 52 percent of singles in the POF survey had experienced having a great conversation with someone on the plane, and 20% actually hooked up on a plane or a train.

If you find yourself seated next to someone attractive and exciting, be bold and take it a step further.

Ask the person who you shared your life story with at 15,000 miles in the sky if they’d like to meet for a drink or go to a museum while you’re in town. 

Some other fun facts from the survey include:

  • 49 percent of singles had gone on a date while on vacation. 
  • 40 percent of singles had a vacation fling.
  • 22 percent of singles fell in love while on vacation.
  • 46 percent used a dating app to scope out singles in another city before traveling there. 
  • 16 percent of singles ended up in a long-term relationship with someone they met while on vacation.

All of these possibilities are just a click, swipe, or smile away.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Why is My Boyfriend on Tinder?

Ask the Cyber-Dating ExpertOne of the most common questions we receive for our “Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert” column is what to do when you find your boyfriend on Tinder or other mobile dating apps.

Here’s Ashley’s dilemma.

Dear Julie,

I have a huge relationship dilemma that is currently happening as I type this.

I have been together with my man for just over a year now. ( we don’t have the “title”)

I am 19 almost 20 and he is 23 turning 24. We have a dog together and he basically lives with me, just sleeps at home when he works nights. He cares a lot and is always here for me, but this is why I need advice.

My friend from my home town, which is an hour away from where I live, now sent me a message with a photo of him on Tinder. This has happened before but he was really good at lying about it not being him, I was just too blind.

I had to create a fake account and see for myself and within 5 swipes I swiped yes to him. Later on tonight he came on and matched with me and sent a message. I froze. I responded and started having a conversation and it still continues.

RELATED: HELP! My boyfriend Created a Tinder Profile After a Fight

He has no idea it’s me obviously nor does he even know I know he’s on there. I am very attached to him and he treats me well. We laugh and get along , but we do argue sometimes. I am very confused because I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t want him going behind my back and doing this.

I have no idea what to do or even how to bring this up to him. I really need some advise on what I should do in this situation.

Dear Ashley,

You are one of many who asks this very same question.

First of all, you can’t control him going behind your back and going on Tinder to flirt with other girls. We don’t know if he’s meeting anyone, but this isn’t the first time he’s been busted on Tinder. Do you really think you can trust him?

He also hasn’t defined the relationship and given you the important label of girlfriend.

For him, it’s a relationship of convenience. For you, you’re hoping it’s more, but with his Tinder activity, it isn’t. At your age, you have plenty of options to meet men who will be crazy about you.

If he’s dating or flirting with others, you should as well. When it gets to the point that you have to create a fake profile to “catch” him on Tinder, the situation isn’t good. There’s no trust, and if you tell him you did that, it will get worse.

I haven’t met you or him, but my recommendation in cases like these (and I see it happen all the time) is to let him know that he means a lot to you, but it’s clear that you’re not looking for the same type of relationship.

Let him know you’d like to be a girlfriend in an exclusive relationship that has a future. He will either step up to the plate, or disappoint you, which gives you the freedom to find someone who will cherish you.

It’s time to have the convo, so you can find a relationship without being in a love triangle with Tinder.

RELATED: How to Delete Tinder When You Find The One

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Do you have a dating question for Online Dating Expert Julie Spira?

Submit your questions here and FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

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Is it Too Late to Ask? Valentine’s Day Cut-off Rule

Valentine's Day - CyberDatingExpert.com

Valentine’s Day is five days from now, and the Super Bowl memories have already faded away.

Have you asked your date to be your Valentine yet?

If not, are you aware that there is a “cut-off” rule for when to decide who you will be spending February 14th with?

If you have watched Curb Your Enthusiasm, you might recall that Larry David discussed the cut-off rule in an episode. They determined 9:30-10:00pm for the cut-off time to phone a friend. It became a heated discussion.

The same ‘cut-off’ theory applies to Valentine’s Day.

In my online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, one of my rules of netiquette was the cut-off rule.

This rule applied to the most common misrepresentation in an online dating profile – the accuracy of your age.  Although I believe in authenticity, I had decided that 5 years was the maximum amount of years that you could take off your age in your profile, if you felt you needed to fit into a search.

I added that you need to be honest in the body of your email, on the phone, or certainly the latest by the first-date. I don’t promote lying on your profile, I just know that many singles do.

RELATED: Watch Valentine’s Survival Guide

Getting back to Valentine’s Day. When is it too late to ask the woman you are dating out for Wednesday night?

Here’s my relationship advice. I took a poll during the Super Bowl posing this question.

Most men felt they could wait until the last day, if there was chemistry with someone they had just met. I disagree. I believe one week is the maximum, and that once the Super Bowl was over, it was time to put the date in ink on the calendar and reserve whatever remaining restaurants were available at such a late date.

Think about it.

Most restaurants book up a month in advance of Valentine’s Day, so there will be slim pickings. You can always opt for in-room dining and bring food home, and set the table with fine china and candles.

If you are waiting until the last minute, don’t be surprised to find your date has made other plans. A smart, confident woman doesn’t wait around for the phone to ring. She’d rather be alone than be an afterthought.

RELATED: What do I do if he Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day

If you have made Valentine’s plans and have a change of heart, don’t go down in history as the guy or girl who cancels on her Valentine’s date the week of because someone better came along. It will come back to haunt you. If you are gearing up for this romantic day, logging into your online dating profile on a regular basis during the days leading to Valentine’s may put you in the dog house, instead of the bedroom.

With or without a date, my advice is to try and enjoy Valentine’s Day and be open to the possibilities of love, or hanging out with friends. Open your mobile dating app and start swiping and chatting. Your next Valentine just might be a click away.

RELATED: 7 Ways to Find a Date by Valentine’s Day

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

Julie Spira – ABC News – Valentine’s Survival Guide

 

With Valentine’s Day just a week away, I sat down with ABC-7’s Coleen Sullivan and Ellen Leyva with a Valentine’s Survival Guide to get you to and through the most romantic day of the year.

Can you find love online in time for Valentine’s Day?

I say yes! With the convenience of your mobile phone, we’ll have you chatting and dating in a digital split second.

Here are 10 Tips to Help You Survive Valentine’s Day With a Hug and a Smile

  • Sign up for a Mobile Dating AppUse your Facebook photos to create a new profile and say “love is in the air.” Have a friend or a dating coach like myself help you with your profile.

 

  • Become a serial dater – This is the time I give you permission to date up a storm. Schedule one date a day until Valentine’s Day. Double-down and schedule two dates a day, where one will surely rise to the top and be worthy of a second date.

 

  • Use Premium Features – Match shows you peak times, where their Top Spot feature will show your profile to get the most visibility for just a few hours. OkCupid’s Boost feature will do the same for 15 minutes.

 

  • Give your date a card – A hand signed card or a love note will warm his or her heart for all dating stages.

 

  • Don’t forget Flowers Two billion dollars will be spent on Valentine’s Day flowers this year. Bring one long-stemmed rose or a dozen tulips to have the same effect, while not breaking the bank.

 

  • Say ‘I Love You’ – If you’re relationship is moving forward, there’s no better time to profess your love than on Valentine’s Day.

 

  • Choose In-Room Dining or Cook a Meal Together – If you’ve waited too long to make a reservation at his or her favorite place, pick up some prepared meals at the grocery store, or ingredients for a spicy romantic dinner. Remember to bring candles.

 

  • The gift of time – Valentine’s Day is about spending quality time together, and there’s not better gift than just being together.

 

  • Valentine’s Breakups – It’s not a great idea, but if your relationship has been sliding downhill since the past holiday season, have a talk with your significant other, sooner rather than later. Valentine’s Day can be filled with pressure, so be kind about it and if you’re going to call it quits, do so in person, and not on the phone, email, or in a text message.

 

  • Singles Awareness Day is on February 15th – If you’re not in the mood to find a Valentine and hate the holiday, there’s no need to fret. The day after will be a holiday to celebrate your single status.

Don’t let the pressure get to you about Valentine’s Day. Some people are still paying off their credit cards from December gift giving. A study shows that 54% plan to spend less than $100 and only 10% of singles spend over $250 on Valentine’s Day.

A survey from OneHourTranslation.com of over 4000 people around the world, showed that 31% plan to purchase their gifts online this year, so there’s still time to send something romantic to your Valentine or digital crush.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and is an award-winning dating coach who’s been helping singles on finding love online for over 24 years. 

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

 

 

STUDY: The 2018 List of Best and Worst States for Single Daters

Wallet Hub online Dating

Should singles change their zip codes while looking for love online, or even take it further by moving to a more desirable state in the country?

A new study from WalletHub actually ranks all 50 states to determine the best and worst places for single daters.

The list breaks it down further into four categories.

  • Overall Rank
  • Dating Opportunities
  • Dating Economics
  • Romance & Fun

Digging deeper, the study shows the best states for online dating are:

  1. Washington
  2. Colorado
  3. New Hampshire
  4. Maryland
  5. Alaska

The worst states for online dating are:

  1. Mississipi
  2. Arkansas
  3. New Mexico
  4. West Virginia
  5. Louisiana

If you’re attached to your mobile phone and find yourself swiping left and right on mobile dating apps, the study shows a different digital picture.

wallet hub mobile dating

The best states for mobile dating apps are:

  1. Utah
  2. Maryland
  3. Colorado
  4. Massachusetts
  5. New Jersey

The worst states for mobile dating opportunities are:

  1. West Virginia
  2. Mississipi
  3. Arkansas
  4. Alabama
  5. Kentucky

Overall, California ranks as number one on the list. Perhaps the sunshine, Rose Bowl, and Disneyland contributed to that score. Just behind California is Florida, with New York coming in at number three.

Arkansas ranked at the bottom of the list as the worst place for singles.

This list shows the top 10 ranked states in the country.

Is your state on this list?

Wallet Hub Best States Dating

This map below, highlights each state to see where they rank.

Click on your state to find out the overall rank, and think about casting a wider net while looking for love online.

Source: WalletHub

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Love vs. Trump: Is Politics Polarizing Relationships?

Love Vs. Trump: Politics Polarizing Relationships

It’s been one-year since Donald Trump took office, and singles are still dealing with the big political elephant in the room, our commander-in-chief and his tweets.

During the election, and in the aftermath since Trump became president, talking about politics has become critical when dating someone new, and to those within their existing relationships.

I recently wrote an essay, Can Love Survive Trump, where I revealed my big confession on how I struggled in my relationship with my long-term love. He had strong and vocal opposing views from mine when it came to politics.

As a dating coach, I believe I provide good dating advice on how to navigate the singles scene, even with politically opposite views. I also really believe in having a good debate. While coaching others on how to talk about politics on a date, I found I didn’t take my advice and kept silent about my complicated relationship status. I now feel liberated, and continue to coach and write about the great political divide.

Politics has become so divisive in dating, that conversations that start at the breakfast table end up on opposite sides in the bedroom. They often no longer include, “Sweet dreams” and a hug.

When one person walks in the Women’s March wearing a pink hat, and the other is jumping for joy about the new tax reform, it’s clear that talking about differing political views need to happen on the first date, if not sooner.

Dating Sites Weigh In

In a Match Singles in America study, they showed that talking about politics on a first date will result in a 91% chance of putting the second one on the calendar.

OkCupid found that 50% of its users won’t date someone with opposing political views. The site also found that users mentioning political words in their profiles increased by more than 1000% from 2015 to 2017.

OkCupid Trump

The site, known for asking provocative questions, has 19 questions about politics. “Trump?” received the most answers, with 74% responding “hell no” and only 4% answering “hell yes.” The most answered question was “Should guns be allowed in schools?” The most polarizing question is, “Did Russia hack the last US election?”

Mobile dating app profiles now include political terms, or instructions to “swipe left if you vote for Trump,” or “swipe right if you think Trump’s making America great again.”

Tinder Politics Dating Deal Breakers

Tinder states that 71% of their users won’t date a Trump supporter. Their Modern Dating Myths, released in April of 2017 showed, “Opposing political views were getting more left swipes.” Nine out of 10 of my dating coaching clients said that having similar political views with their dates are important to them.

Coffee Meets Bagel tells me their poll of 1320 members showed that the majority, 70%, who are Democrats said politics was impacting their dating lives, as compared to 43% of Republican singles.

Plenty of Fish conducted several surveys on politics and dating in 2016 and 2016 and offered some promising news.

POF found while the current political climate is tense, it’s starting to lighten up. They found that less than 1% of singles used the terms “Trump” or “Republican” or “Democrat” in their profiles. They also said that 90% of people had not broken up with someone over political views or party affiliation since the election and recommended not talking about politics on a first date.

Experts Weigh in on Trump and Politics

I spoke with Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Science Officer at Match, who said, “If singles feel very strongly about their political views, they should add it to their profiles.”

CNN Political Contributor and KABC Radio co-host John Phillips agrees with Fisher. “If both people are passionate and care about politics a great deal, it could be a problem,” said Fisher. “But then the relationship is probably doomed anyway.”

Dr. Fisher’s research indicates that people gravitate towards people who share their values. “For couples who are polar opposite politically, they just have to agree to disagree and find a way to respect each other,” Fisher said.

“People are going to stay strong in their positions because we aren’t talking about how you butter your toast,” said Fisher. “Things with the Dreamers and the immigrants is real and taps into basic values.”

Deal breakers for singles used to include height, smoking, and religion. They’ve been replaced with politics as a top deal breaker, with singles feeling more comfortable dating someone with same political views.

Phillips, who identifies as Republican, tells me that politics is more critical than ever in today’s dating world. “It’s more important than it used to be because the news has essentially become one endless talk show about politics,” said Phillips.

He believes politically charged opposite couples can co-exist in Trump’s America. “If Dodger fans can date Giants fans without the relationship ending in a 911 call, Trump and Clinton supporters can co-exist without domestic violence,” Phillips said.

Are we heading to a point where we can agree to disagree over an appetizer and enjoy crème brûlée for dessert? I sure hope so.

“There used to be water cooler topics. Now there’s one water cooler topic: politics,” adds Phillips.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years with the Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt email for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

7 Ways to Find a Date By Valentine’s Day

7 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine'sValentine’s is about one month away, and it’s countdown time for romance.

Some singles are stressing big time about how to find a date for the most romantic day of the year. Others could care less and will hang out with friends or hide under the sheets alone.

If finding a date for Valentine’s is on your list, I have great news for you. With a little effort and the help of your mobile phone, you can get lucky and find a date by Valentine’s Day.

7 tips for singles to get lucky in love by Valentine’s Day

1. RSVP to all events and parties

Whether it’s a business mixer or speed dating event, go out, dress up, and wear that smile of yours. Search for events on Eventbrite, Facebook, and don’t be shy.

2. Update your online dating profile

If your primary shot was from last year, or even six month ago, it’s outdated. It’s time for a digital facelift to show off the new you. Post photos from a recent trip and caption them if you can. Find your favorite photos that got the most likes on Facebook or Instagram, and add them to your profile. If you got a new puppy add a cute photo of your four-legged friend to your profile, but don’t use it as a primary shot.

RELATED: What to Do if He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day

3. Start Swiping! Download 3 mobile dating apps

Research shows that singles are using on average three mobile dating apps. They’re so easy to use and you can find a date in minutes, not days. A Pew research survey showed that the number of millennials using dating sites and apps has tripled in the last few years! Connect your instagram feed or spotify account to your mobile profile, so people can see exactly what you look like now, and know your musical taste.

4. Be proactive and Upgrade During Peak Times

It’s peak season, now through Valentine’s Day, with Sunday being one of the most popular days for onlien daters. I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” If you’re online, write to 5-10 people a day. Respond quickly and turn on those push notifications to find out when your digital crush sends you a message!

Upgrade during peak times and rush hour for just a few dollars to a premium service on sites such as OkCupid and Match.

Use the “Boost” feature on Tinder to appear at the top of the list in a search, where you can be viewed more than 10 times than normal. Yes, for less than the price of one cup of coffee, it’s worth a shot.

5. Check out your single friends on Facebook 

Flirting on Facebook? If so, you’re not alone. Check out his or her relationship status and if it it says “single,” go ahead and start flirting on Facebook chat. Plenty of couples have found love on the world’s largest social network, as can be seen on FacebookLoveStories.com.

RELATED: Facebook Love Stories: Showcasing Tales of Romance and Dishing Out Tips for Dating on Social Media

6. Go to a restaurant or coffee shop with WIFI

Working from home? Why be alone when you can be out in public with your computer instead. Make sure to dress up and take walks to the restroom or pass by as many people as possible with a smile on your face. It will become your new office to work and flirt. Stop, stare, and smile.

7. Text an ex 

As a last resort, know that 20% of singles do text their former love on Valentine’s if they’re flying solo, and over 50% of singles have tried to get back together with an ex. Go ahead and send a quick Happy Valentine’s message with an emoticon to your former flame. If you decide to do so, do it in the morning, not at night, as he or she might be on a Valentine’s date, or they might look at you as a late night booty call.

RELATED: How to Get Back Together With Your Ex

Remember, although Valentine’s Day is a big day for couples, the day after, February 15th, is Singles Awareness Day. Either way, love yourself first and love will come your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Looking for help with dating? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 
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7 Ways to Shine During Online Dating’s Peak Season

Peak Season

There was a lot of excitement the first week of January leading up to “Dating Sunday,” a day proclaimed by Match as the busiest day of the year for online dating.

Other sites and apps also saw the surge in activity and joined in on the Dating Sunday excitement, including Plenty of Fish, Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and more.

As a guest on KENS TV in San Antonio and KHOU in Houston, I spoke with reporter Jeremy Baker, on why the first Sunday of a new year is always so active.

WATCH TV SEGMENT ON DATING SUNDAY WITH TIPS TO SPEED UP YOUR SEARCH

Baker’s mother met and married his stepfather after meeting in an AOL chat room in the 1990s, and he shares the history of online dating from the early days to the present, where singles are swiping on mobile dating apps.

Now that Dating Sunday is over, what should you do next?

If you missed the spike on Sunday while watching the Golden Globes, there’s no need to fret. Peak season is in full force right now, leading up to Valentine’s Day, just five weeks away.

There’s plenty of time to find love with some of these tips.

To get you armed for in online dating’s Peak Season, here are 7 online and mobile dating tips to help you get lucky, now through Valentine’s Day.

RELATED: Dating Sunday – January 7th Was the Busiest Day for Online Dating

1. Post 5 -7 new photos to your profile and caption them if you can.

2. View and “Like” profiles and photos of 10 people a day during peak season.

3. Log on for 1/2 hour, twice daily to see who has viewed your profile and written to you.

4. Write back to those who are messaging you on dating apps and sites within the 1-4 hours, the sooner the better.

5. Don’t be shy. Make the first move and message someone whose profile looks interesting.

6. Rewrite your profile and include some of your goals for the year. Whether it’s running a marathon to writing your first novel. They’re conversation breakers that make you unique.

7. Turn on push notifications, so you’ll know instantly who’s interested in you.

If you need some extra hand-holding, find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

RELATED: Is Dating Multiple People a Good Idea?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

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Photo credit: Fotolia

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