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Love at the Polls – Close to 90% of Singles Won’t Date Someone Who Didn’t Vote

Midterm Elections Dating

Do you remember when the “off-limits” subjects on a date were politics and religion?

The world is all eyes on the 2018 Midterm Elections, and not voting just isn’t sexy this time around.

Political conversations have permeated the Internet, social media, and most certainly have been tagging along on dates since Donald Trump ran for and won the Electoral College.

In the dating world, it continues to heat up, with dating app Bumble expanding users profiles to include  stating your political party by selecting if you’re apolitical, moderate, liberal, or conservative, and separately, you can now indicate if you’re a voter, or if you’re not voting this time around.

On OkCupid, they continue to expand their political questions. The dating site and app found leading into the midterms, that over half (58%) of Millennial women “believe a partner who exercises their right to vote is more attractive than exercising.”

While researching and writing my book, Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships, I found that the majority of singles, especially women, agreed that dating someone who didn’t vote was a turn-off, and clearly a dating deal-breaker. Several women actually came forward to say they turned down a date when they found out their date didn’t vote for President.

On Facebook on the eve of the Midterm Elections, I decided to get a temperature reading and posted questions of:

“Is Dating someone who doesn’t vote a turnoff?”

Not Dating Voting Deal Breaker

“Would you date someone who doesn’t vote?”

The responses and comments were heated, with the majority, 87%, saying they won’t date someone who didn’t vote, as compared to 13% who said they would. Some actually engaged in same-sex flame wars with those with different political views.

One friend tagged me on Facebook with someone else’s comment of, “Don’t bang people who don’t vote.”

Yes, politics is entering the bedroom.

Here’s a curated list of some of the responses and sentiments people are posting about voting in the age of Trump.

Feel free to comment, and please, show up to the polls and vote.

Midterm Poll

“As long as they didn’t vote for Trump.”

“I’d vote to DUMP them. If you don’t vote, you don’t really care about the direction of our country. I couldn’t fall for someone who really didn’t care about that.”

“[Voting] says a lot about a person and if they don’t care/participate in our democracy. Life’s too short to waste an hour. Ask ahead.”

“It’s important to be a participant in society! No excuse not to vote! Shows laziness, self-centered character traits; maybe someone who is greedy.”

“It says a lot about a person if they don’t care/participate in our democracy. Life’s too short to waste an hour. Ask ahead.”

RELATED: Love VS. Trump: Is Politics Polarizing Relationships?

“If you don’t participate, you forfeit the right to criticize.”

“Apathy is not sexy.”

“Complete turn-off and I wouldn’t date someone who didn’t vote.”

“I’d give them a pass if they were a convicted felon and could not vote. But then again, dating a convicted felon might not be such a good idea either.”

“No…that means they don’t care about their country.”

“I’d get SERIOUS with someone intelligent, responsible, and driven enough to be an informed voter.”

“I did and it was not good. Our basic values were so clearly illustrated by our differences in political beliefs to begin with.”

“No way! If they’re that disconnected about elections, I’d also be concerned about what else is being glossed over.”

“Election Day has always been my Super Bowl! Tough to nerd out with someone who’s not engaged with the process.”

“YES— I would not date someone who doesn’t vote and it’s okay to agree to disagree, but it has to be based on logical facts, not emotional fiction.”

RELATED: Can People With Different Political Views Make a Relationship Work?

“Absolutely a no go! Voting is a moral responsibility.”

“I wouldn’t let someone’s voting habits or political beliefs get in the way of love.”

“If you don’t care enough to vote this point, you should leave the country.”

“If you don’t vote, I will not date you. I don’t care who you vote for, but please vote.”

“If he doesn’t vote, he’d better have a big bank account and a bad cough.”

“It would irk me, but not make me reject him. Now I would reject someone who votes Republican.”

“Turn off for sure.”

RELATED: Millennials Working for the Trump Administration Are Undateable

“Politics is not a factor in a personal relationship.”

“Might depend more on how they vote, not just if they vote.”

“Someone who votes for Trump or Republicans in these midterms is a turn-off.”

“Here’s my position on non-voters. Shut the F up about government! When you vote, you may participate in the conversation. Take being a citizen seriously by voting.”

“No vote stub. No tongue.”

“If someone doesn’t vote or doesn’t find voting important, it is literally one of the biggest turn-offs.”

“Would you rather have a great voting life or a great sex life? Hint, only one of these will most likely lead to a divorce.”

“To each his own, although I would try to convince him that it matters. Not a deal-breaker to me.”

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating, and as the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Love vs. Trump: Is Politics Polarizing Relationships?

Love Vs. Trump: Politics Polarizing Relationships

It’s been one-year since Donald Trump took office, and singles are still dealing with the big political elephant in the room, our commander-in-chief and his tweets.

During the election, and in the aftermath since Trump became president, talking about politics has become critical when dating someone new, and to those within their existing relationships.

I recently wrote an essay, Can Love Survive Trump, where I revealed my big confession on how I struggled in my relationship with my long-term love. He had strong and vocal opposing views from mine when it came to politics.

As a dating coach, I believe I provide good dating advice on how to navigate the singles scene, even with politically opposite views. I also really believe in having a good debate. While coaching others on how to talk about politics on a date, I found I didn’t take my advice and kept silent about my complicated relationship status. I now feel liberated, and continue to coach and write about the great political divide.

Politics has become so divisive in dating, that conversations that start at the breakfast table end up on opposite sides in the bedroom. They often no longer include, “Sweet dreams” and a hug.

When one person walks in the Women’s March wearing a pink hat, and the other is jumping for joy about the new tax reform, it’s clear that talking about differing political views need to happen on the first date, if not sooner.

Dating Sites Weigh In

In a Match Singles in America study, they showed that talking about politics on a first date will result in a 91% chance of putting the second one on the calendar.

OkCupid found that 50% of its users won’t date someone with opposing political views. The site also found that users mentioning political words in their profiles increased by more than 1000% from 2015 to 2017.

OkCupid Trump

The site, known for asking provocative questions, has 19 questions about politics. “Trump?” received the most answers, with 74% responding “hell no” and only 4% answering “hell yes.” The most answered question was “Should guns be allowed in schools?” The most polarizing question is, “Did Russia hack the last US election?”

Mobile dating app profiles now include political terms, or instructions to “swipe left if you vote for Trump,” or “swipe right if you think Trump’s making America great again.”

Tinder Politics Dating Deal Breakers

Tinder states that 71% of their users won’t date a Trump supporter. Their Modern Dating Myths, released in April of 2017 showed, “Opposing political views were getting more left swipes.” Nine out of 10 of my dating coaching clients said that having similar political views with their dates are important to them.

Coffee Meets Bagel tells me their poll of 1320 members showed that the majority, 70%, who are Democrats said politics was impacting their dating lives, as compared to 43% of Republican singles.

Plenty of Fish conducted several surveys on politics and dating in 2016 and 2016 and offered some promising news.

POF found while the current political climate is tense, it’s starting to lighten up. They found that less than 1% of singles used the terms “Trump” or “Republican” or “Democrat” in their profiles. They also said that 90% of people had not broken up with someone over political views or party affiliation since the election and recommended not talking about politics on a first date.

Experts Weigh in on Trump and Politics

I spoke with Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Science Officer at Match, who said, “If singles feel very strongly about their political views, they should add it to their profiles.”

CNN Political Contributor and KABC Radio co-host John Phillips agrees with Fisher. “If both people are passionate and care about politics a great deal, it could be a problem,” said Fisher. “But then the relationship is probably doomed anyway.”

Dr. Fisher’s research indicates that people gravitate towards people who share their values. “For couples who are polar opposite politically, they just have to agree to disagree and find a way to respect each other,” Fisher said.

“People are going to stay strong in their positions because we aren’t talking about how you butter your toast,” said Fisher. “Things with the Dreamers and the immigrants is real and taps into basic values.”

Deal breakers for singles used to include height, smoking, and religion. They’ve been replaced with politics as a top deal breaker, with singles feeling more comfortable dating someone with same political views.

Phillips, who identifies as Republican, tells me that politics is more critical than ever in today’s dating world. “It’s more important than it used to be because the news has essentially become one endless talk show about politics,” said Phillips.

He believes politically charged opposite couples can co-exist in Trump’s America. “If Dodger fans can date Giants fans without the relationship ending in a 911 call, Trump and Clinton supporters can co-exist without domestic violence,” Phillips said.

Are we heading to a point where we can agree to disagree over an appetizer and enjoy crème brûlée for dessert? I sure hope so.

“There used to be water cooler topics. Now there’s one water cooler topic: politics,” adds Phillips.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years with the Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

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Will Online Daters Support Trump? See What POF Survey Says

Dating and politics. The combination makes a hot topic when it comes to matters of the heart this political season.

If your date hates the sound of Hillary’s voice or you can’t wait to see Trump run the country and he or she disagrees, would it matter in your relationship?

Our friends at PlentyOfFish decided to take political questions such as these to the digital heart by surveying over 4,000 singles in the U.S. on the intersection of love and politics.

Thumbs Up or Down on Trump?

Only 1/3 of women surveyed stated they would be open to dating someone who supports Donald Trump, which means that men are immediately losing access to 40% of their dating pool by supporting him. That’s almost half of the potential single dating pool in the U.S.

Related: How to Use Swipe the Vote on Tinder to Find Your Candidate

Who is the Average Trump Supporter?

If you’re looking to date a Trump supporter, he may be easier to find than you think.

According to POF, Male Trump supporters are predominately Caucasian, in their early 50’s with a slightly higher than average income and slightly lower than average education. The study found that singles with a high school education are more than twice as likely to be a Trump supporter than more college-educated singles.

The study also found that Caucasian men who support Trump are less than half as likely to send a message to someone of a different ethnicity than non-supporters. Interesting.

Single Women Are Picky When it Comes to Politics

With 25% of survey respondents stating they won’t date someone who has drastically different political views than their own. Surprisingly, male Trump supporters are more open to the idea of dating someone of a different political view, with 58% willing to date a Democrat.We assume if she’s a Democrat with chemistry, the political issues will rank lower on the political totem pole for men, than for women.

However, only 19% of Democrat women are willing to give a Republican a chance.

“Navigating politics in your love life can be complicated, but it’s a topic many singles will have to tackle with someone they’re dating, especially in the months leading up to an election,” says Shannon Smith, Public Relations Communications Manager at POF. “This new data provides some great insight into how singles value political affiliations as a strong indicator for relationship compatibility, and shows how polarizing politics can be.”

Related: Do Politics and Love Help or Hurt Your Relationship?

 

POF Election Survey

Singles are Feeling the Bern

Among singles polled by POF, Bernie Sanders is the most favored candidate.

Over 71% of American singles plan to vote in the upcoming election, with a large portion of them identifying as Independent. The study found that only 22% of singles identify as Republican and 31% as Democrat.

How to Have “The Talk” With Your Significant Other

Talking politics with your significant other, especially early on in your relationship, can be a touchy subject. “Approach this conversation with caution, and always be respectful of the other person’s views – no matter how different they are than your own,” says Smith. “We’ve seen couples overcome much greater obstacles than dating across the aisle!”

In this year’s Singles In America study published by Match it was proven that talking about politics increases your chances of a second date by 91%, so don’t be shy. Watch the debates together and be open to the possibilities of another opinion posed by your date. Plus, couples passionate about politics are known to have better sex lives.

Will differing politics make a decision on who you select as a date or get serious with? Your comments are welcome.

Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating programs.

 

 

 

 

How to Use Swipe the Vote on Tinder to Find Your Candidate

Swipe hte VotePolitics and love. It can be a winning combination or a highly charged debate while on a date.

Tinder has now partnered with Rock The Vote, a non-profit organization with the goal of getting young singles to vote. Their new campaign, “Swipe the Vote” will pop up while swiping on the Tinder mobile app and will ask users to answer 10 questions to help you decide if you’re on the fence.

Tinder stated on their blog that they’ve “been amazed by the amount of users expressing their political views with matches during this presidential campaign.”

“After all, millennials should play a big role in deciding who our next president is,” the company wrote on its blog.

How to Use the Swipe the Vote Feature on Tinder

  1. Log on to Tinder or set up a new account by downloading the app and using your Facebook credentials.
  2. While logged on to the app, while swiping left and right through potential matches, users will see the “Swipe The Vote” option will come up as a potential match. If you swipe right, a ten-question survey pops up and asking you your opinion on 10 issues ranging from same-sex marriage to oil drilling.
  3. If you’re unfamiliar with a specific issue, tapping on the issue gives you general information about the issue as well as what those who support the issue and those who oppose it have to say about it so that users can get well-rounded information.
  4. After reading over an issue, users agree or disagree simply by swiping right or left.

Related: This Strategy Ups Your Tinder Game

Tinder Swipe the Vote

 

“Once you’ve swiped through ten of the hottest issues, you’ll be matched with the candidate who best matches your views,” Tinder wrote on their blog. You’ll also be shown how you compare with other candidates too.

Users are also given the option to register to vote, to further encourage users to “Swipe The Vote” and take the initiative to participate in politics, which is the goal of the partners, Rock The Vote.

Tinder released the latest survey results on their blog showing that Bernie Sanders was the top choice for the Democratic nomination, while Republican Ted Cruz was most popular for the opposite party.

Related: These Jobs Get the Most Right Swipes on Tinder

The survey claims the majority of their male users matched with Hillary Clinton (35.5%) versus Bernie Sanders at 32.7%. However, Sanders was the leading choice among women, receiving 43.4% of Tinder votes, while Clinton received 39.9% of female votes.

Note: Swipe the Vote is available for members of all ages, except Tinder Plus members.

tumblr_inline_o4llo82xsO1tq38ho_500

 

Have you registered to vote yet? If not, get involved and help “Swipe The Vote!”

Swipe The Vote will remain on the Tinder platform during this Presidential election season.

Not on Tinder? Head to iSideWith.com to figure out which candidate you best match up with and register to vote here.

Who did Tinder match YOU up with?

Need help with your Tinder profile? Our Swiping Right coaching plan will help you find your dream match.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Does Combining Politics and Love Hurt or Help Your Relationship

Screen Shot 2016-02-03 at 4.34.24 PMIt’s politics season and if you’re getting ready to watch the debate with your date, or follow it on Twitter, listen and tweet closely as these stats might help you with your dating and love life.

In this year’s  Singles In America study published by Match, it was proven that talking about politics increases your chances of a second date by 91%.

That may be true, if you’re on the same political page, but for some, differing politics can add an explosion to your relationship.

Let’s take a look at how America’s singles feel about politics.

Hilary vs. Trump

politics-infographic-2-HR

Hilary supporters are also more likely to do the following, as compared to Trump supporters.

  • Wait for “the one” (49%)
  • Want children (65%)
  • Discuss politics (70%)
  • Discuss marriage (266%)

What Side are Single Voters On?

Did you know there are over 107 million singles in the United States? Singles make up more than 1/3 of the U.S. adult population and they’re passionate about their politics.

Here’s the breakdown of party identification:

  • 19% Republican
  • 40% Democrat
  • 15% Independent
  • 2% Libertarians
  • 24% have no registered political affiliations

Morals and Values

The #SinglesInAmerica  study found that very few singles are willing to vote for a politician who has committed a crime (12%), had an affair (26%), or been caught in a lie (7%). On the other hand, singles are more willing to vote for a candidate who is single (75%), divorced (64%), or female (78%), and candidates with a successful business background (74%).

Rubio vs. Biden

Singles also weighed in on their romantic feelings about Republican candidate Marco Rubio and our current Vice President, Democrat Joe Biden.

Screen Shot 2016-02-03 at 3.28.12 PM

Those Passionate About Politics, Bring Their Passion to the Bedroom

Just how adventurous are you? While we believe in leaving the boardroom out of the bedroom, this study shows there’s a direct relationship between politics and passion.

Screen Shot 2016-02-03 at 3.28.34 PM

At the end of the day, watch a debate or two, and talk about it with your potential date. You’ll appear like you know what’s happening in the world and will score rating points on his or her date card.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

JUST RELEASED: Our 2nd edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating is now available on Kindle and as an audio book, narrated by the author.

Listen to our book trailer here.