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Julie Spira to Speak at iDate

idate 2016It’s an honor to be a featured speaker at the Internet Dating Conference, iDate-2016 to be held in Miami, Florida on January 25 – 27th.

iDate is the online dating and mobile dating industry conference with executives from online dating sites and matchmakers who will meet to discuss the latest industry trends.

Cyber-Dating Expert has been attending the iDate conference for the past eight years and is a proud sponsor of the Internet Dating Conference.

Click here to buy tickets

We all know that online dating is a HOT topic in the news.  My panel, Managing the Headlines: How to Get Press will be held on Wednesday, January 27th at 2pm at the Kovens Conference Center in Miami, USA in room 110.  My presentation will immediately follow the session, Match.com Going Public and Projected Forecasts for the Dating Industries, presented by Mark Brools of Courtland Brooks and Alex Harrington from Snap Interactive.

In my session, we’ll discuss the hottest news stories of the past year. I’ll talk about which headlines to respond to and which ones to avoid to show your business in the best light. From Tinder pro to Valentine’s Day, I’ll be sharing my secrets on how I became a top online dating expert and go-to person in the media, having been featured in over 650 news stories on the subjects of Internet dating and mobile dating.

I’ll also be presenting the award for Best Mobile Dating App at the iDate Awards on January 26th, so grab your tux and gown and head on down to Miami.

Join me at iDate in Miami. You can purchase your tickets here to save $75 on your registration.

Julie Spira Cyber Dating Expert on Managing The Headlines at iDate 2016 Dating Business Super Conference VIDEO.

Follow me on Twitter @JulieSpira, where I’ll be sending out live updates from iDate-2016.

Peril of the Week – Black Card Denied

Peril of the Week - Black Card DeniedThis entry for The Peril of the Week comes from Amanda, a 27-year old native New Yorker who’s living with her parents in Long Island.

We’ve talked a lot about men and women who say they’re single, when in fact, their relationship status is, “Separated, divorce pending.” Amanda’s been dating online and thought she met a great guy with “Jerry.” Can you relate?

Read about Amanda’s dating dilemma and feel free to share yours as well.

My mother always told me I should try dating a man with children. They can commit and you like to cook…She said. (That’s the same logic behind dating a man in prison right? They can commit to hard time and I can bake them pies?) I decided to scope out the single daddy-scene and met ‘Jerry,’ a self described bachelor, father, financier and as I would learn later problem drinker. I arrived at the Jade hotel for dinner wearing leather Prada heels, (which I should have done a lap in beforehand) Paige denim jeans (that made my legs look like stilts), and a sheer blouse which my mother kindly says indicates ?an obvious padded bra.? I may not have Victoria Beckham?s body or budget but I promise you one thing, I am workin’ it.

Jerry was shockingly better looking in person. (Contrary to most dates where the photo sent online looks like George Clooney and you end up meeting his 3rd cousin, a Japanese sumo wrestler.) ‘Jerry’ and I were instantly attracted to one another and we immediately delved deep into conversation. He whipped out his iPhone, displaying a gallery of pictures, his heart melting each time he spoke of his gorgeous children. This quickly switched to talk of his ‘ex’ wife who I could have easily mistaken for Cruella Deville.

‘Jerry,’ a well-known financial executive, traveled often which made me realize a relationship would be impossible. (Why didn’t this occur to me beforehand? Well that would indicate a trace of commonsense yes? ) As our meal progressed, I noticed ‘Jerry’s’ story regarding his ‘situation’ began to crumble.

Although I don’t drink, I do prefer my dates to consume copious amounts of liquor. I find it acts as a form of Sodium Thiopental (Pentothal), commonly referred to as ‘truth serum.’ At the opening of the date, ‘Jerry’s’ story began with, ‘my ex wife and I are divorced and I live in the city.’ Two drinks later, I sleep in the basement of our home. (I asked if he would care for some dessert wine.)

‘Jerry’s divorce turned out to be in litigation and nowhere near final. I was afraid what I would find out if I offered him some SAKE! Was he really a woman? My friend ‘Demi’ told me something very smart once. “It’s very easy for a man to remove a ring. Who knows how many men say they are divorced that we have dated?” Seven glasses of wine later and it was time for the check. ‘Jerry’ pulled out his black card and handed it to the waitress. “I’m sorry sir, it’s declined!” she SHOUTED! I was actually under the impression that black cards had an unlimited spending limit but did someone not pay their bill? He looked as if he had seen a dead relative (shocked) and handed the server another card.

Here is a tip to all men: Call your credit card company before going to dinner and be sure to conjure up a convincing story. Even if it is a lie learn your lines.

Read more of Amanda’s shenanigans at theyoungandthefearless.com

Do you have a dating disaster story to share?

 

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

Online Dating Advice – How to Schedule Great Dates

How to Schedule First DatesThere are several steps in the online dating process where you’ll either shine and move to the next level, or will say or write something that could blow your chances with your dream date.

I know this seems like a lot of pressure, but to simplify the Internet dating process, we’ve come up with several expert tips on how to ace your cyberdating exam.

Coordinating a first date to make that great impression makes singles nervous. One person may love coffee, where another would rather go hiking. Trying to find a common balance for your first meet-and-greet, especially when geography gets in the way, means a single dater must go with the flow to fill up their date card.

This means you must be easy-going, have several options on where to meet, and not appear too high-maintenance.

Here are two examples of how one date progressed nicely and another went south, fast.

Dater #1. When *Randy decided to make the dinner plans before the theatre date, he came up with a well-executed strategy. It was his homework assignment to select the restaurant and figure out how to coordinate the details. Sure it would have been easy to tell him to park once and just dine at the restaurant in the theatre, but he came up with a more complicated plan and told his date the following:

Unfortunately the restaurant doesn’t have a shuttle to the theatre, but I’ve thought of a plan to minimize the parking issue and maximize our time at dinner.

Try this on?

You drive into downtown and park at the theatre (or wherever you like near there) for about 5:30 PM and call me when you arrive to say where you are. I’ll drive over to pick you up and bring you to my building to park my car; and then we walk just a few blocks to the restaurant. After dinner, we take a taxi to get to the theatre, unfettered with driving and parking while others are arriving, and just walk in. After the event, you take your car out, and drive us a few blocks back to my building; I’ll hop out at the front door on the street safe and sound 🙂 and you continue straight toward to the highway to get home – real simple. Does this work?

What do you think?

It sounds like an exhausting plan, right? There was nothing simple about it. However, he took great pride in coordinating timing and location and just wanted acknowledgement that his idea would be well-accepted.

The lesson here is the best solution isn’t always the smartest solution when it comes to dating. Sure some women think that they’re smarter and can drive the dating train, but a man wants to be the woman’s hero. He wants to know that she approves of his plans. His efforts to coordinate their dinner date were well thought out. Telling him to change them, especially early on in the dating stage, could possibly backfire. She responded with, “Great plan. I love it! I’ll see you around 5:30pm.”

Dater #3. When *Kathy invited her online date to an outdoor concert, she had tickets for the summertime music festival where they would be picnicking. Her date offered to pick up some wine and food items and they agreed to drive together to the concert. That was, until she called him up and asked him what he would be wearing. When he replied that he would be dressed casually in a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and sandals, she got furious with him. She told him he wasn’t dressing appropriately for a date and that she hated Hawaiian shirts and shorts. Stunned, because this was a casual outdoor concert in the summer, he thought he’d be dressed perfectly for the occasion. She abruptly canceled the date because he didn’t conform to her perceived dress code and she went alone to the concert. Did he ever call her again? Not in a million years.

At the end of the digital day, when someone plays hard-to-get in the online dating game, the only word the potential date will remember is that you were hard to deal with. Don’t make dating difficult. Enjoy the process and go with the flow.

Julie Spira is an Online Dating Expert and was an early adopter of Internet dating. She?s been helping singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Online Dating Profiles for 20 years and is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Cyber Love Links – Links to Love, When You’re in the Mood for Love

Cyber Love LinksIt’s National Romance Awareness Month, so we’re happy to share some of our favorite dating, love and romance articles on the web this week, while taking a digital moment to show our gratitude for the social media love.

This Week’s Cyber Love Links include our links to love, when you’re in the mood for love.

Elle magazine Love and relationships: The social stigma of online dating. It’s a thrill to be quoted in the August issue of Elle magazine in Canada. The results will surprise you. Yes, although I believe the stigma is gone, there are those who will still go to great lengths to hide the fact that they’ve met online. Do you fall into that category?

Betty ConfidentialYour Relationship on Social Media: Pro Tips on Mastering Netiquette. Betty’s Diana Denza asked me some great questions including, What are some things that women post on social media that have the potential to drive a date off? and “What should you say (if anything) to someone you?re dating if he has other women writing flirtatious posts on his wall?” Yes. We don’t want you to become that cyber stalker, so we hope you enjoy these tips.

YourTangoOnline Dating BootCamp – They’re live! Six full episodes of Online Dating BootCamp, where I’m helping Lauren from Beverly Hills find love on Match.com. Watch our videos so you can ramp up your search while looking for love online.

Episode 1: How to Create the Perfect Profile

Episode 2: How to Write the Perfect Description

Episode 3: How to Find Your Dream Guy

Episode 4: How to Write the Perfect Intro Email

Episode 5: How to Create the Perfect Profile Photo

Episode 6: Making it Happen in the Real World

On Twitter, we shared some of our favorite articles including:

The AtlanticWhen a Relationship Becomes a Game

Huffington PostWeird Dating Sites: From Gluten-Free Singles To Hot Sauce Passions, There’s Something For You

Woman’s Day10 Important Love Lessons from ‘The Bachelorette’

Our favorite quote this week is: “Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else.” ~Nicholas Sparks

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

~Julie Spira and the Cyber-Dating Expert Team

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Cyber Love Story – Andrea and Dan

Andrea and DanAfter finding herself single again at the age of 52 with two teenage kids, Andrea decided it was time to join an online dating site in May of 2012.

She initially joined both Match.com and JDate. They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince and I did just that, said Andrea. Having one bad date after another, she kept going offline only to go back online again.

When she met Dan, she thought he was very different than any of her other dates. They chatted online only a few very brief times and sent a few texts to put a date on the calendar.

On the way to their first date, Andrea decided to call Dan. She told him that this was the only time she had never talked on the phone prior to meeting a date. He said it was his first time as well. When they met, she realized they had so much in common. They talked for hours and didn’t even realize anyone else was in the restaurant.  After many rounds of our “all you can eat” soup and salad, they said their goodbyes and Dan walked Andrea to her car. Andrea tells said, He gave me a huge kiss and I was kind of surprised by it, but pleasantly!

Then their Cyber Love Story got tricky.

Three weeks went by before their scheduled second date, so Andrea didn’t think that Dan was very interested in her. She then canceled their date and starting dating someone else.

When that relationship ran its course, she rejoined Match for a second time. Dan noticed Andrea’s reactivated profile and “winked” at her. Andrea responded and wondered if he had recognized her, which he did. They made plans to get together almost immediately and finally went on their second date.

The two have been inseparable ever since and Andrea knows for sure, that Dan is the love of her life.  Andrea and Dan plan on moving in together and look forward to celebrating their one-year anniversary together in September.

Congratulations to Andrea and Dan who gave online dating a chance.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Submit Your Online Dating Stories

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Cyber Love Links

Cyber Love Links

Links to love, when you’re in the mood for love.

We’ve gone green for St. Patrick’s Day and are feeling slightly crazy with March Madness going on. We couldn’t let the week end without thanking those who have featured us, quoted us, and share the articles we loved and tweeted this week.

A huge thank you to Jen Kirsch for featuring our advice on Canadian Living in 6 Online Dating Tips and Jenna Birch who asked for my two cents worth on YourTango in March Madness Time: 5 Reasons to Date a Girl Who Loves Sports. Very thrilled to appear on StyleList with the Rules of Netiquette for Texting and had a blast on Planet Love Match Radio with Jen and Josh.

Our friends at The Frisky posted the Official Frisky Girl Code of Conduct worth sharing. My friend Rita Watson wrote a beautiful post on Psychology Today, 13 Romantic Ideas for Lovers.? Match shared the Cities Luckiest in Love in 2011 and on Woman’s Day, you can read, 10 Things Your Husband’s Friends Won’t Tell You.

Don’t forget, our friends at eHarmony are having their Free Communication Weekend, so you just might have a St. Patrick’s date after all. We’ve officially changed our Facebook page to the new Timeline, so check out our new cover and Like us!

Connect with us on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter for free dating advice.

 

Peril of the Week – The Movie Date

Peril of the Week - CyberDatingExpert.comI personally believe that chivalry is alive and well. I find it quite sexy and appealing when a man opens a door, pulls out a chair, and takes care of your parking on a date.? Like it or not, it’s also usually customary for a gentleman to treat the woman on a first or second date. It doesn’t need to be extravagant, but the one who does the asking, is usually the same one who picks up the tab.

And so the story goes with the intelligent “shrink to the stars” who invited his online date to go see a movie. The two had their first date the week earlier and the conversation just flowed. It only seemed appropriate when he contacted her the following day to put a second date on the calendar. He suggested a movie and let her make the selection. The theatre was decided upon and they were scheduled to meet at 7:00pm.

As it got closer to their meeting time, the gentleman sent a text message saying that he was running late for their movie date. He requested that she pick up the tickets and she complied. When he arrived, she handed him the tickets and he made a huge mistake. He didn’t offer to pay her back for the tickets. A bit stunned, she wondered why, considering he had asked her to the movies. They met in an adjacent bar prior to showtime. When the menu arrived, he asked what she would like to drink. The woman suggested a mid-priced glass of sparkling wine.

What she didn’t expect to hear when he placed the order was the following. “We’ll have one glass of sparkling wine with two glasses.” Basically, he wanted to split one drink. There was nothing romantic about splitting a drink with someone she recently had met. He didn’t want to splurge on two drinks, nor did he want her to have a complete drink. It was a first for her, and a last date for them.

Understandably, dating can get expensive. But, first impressions mean a lot and chivalry is still alive and well. My dating advice: Gentleman, please don’t request to split a glass of any beverage on a date with someone. You’d be better off ordering water for yourself, and allowing the lady to have her very own beverage. Add that to the unreimbursed movie tickets, and it became a dating disaster.
Do you have an online dating story to share? For consideration in the Peril of the Week, please send us your stories.

Peril of the Week – The Concession Stand Blow Up

Peril of the Week - CyberDating ExpertAfter years of being on and off her favorite online dating site, a young attractive woman finally found a keeper. At least that what she thought. She named her new beau, “Tech Guy.”

The two had been dating for about four months. They enjoyed romantic dinners, wonderful day-outings and Friday movie nights on the couch. ?They were a true couples and things were going well.

Like many couples, they were definitely moving from the honeymoon stage into a real relationship. Tech Guy loved soccer and decided to take his date to one of the season’s big games.

When the two got to the game, they cuddled up under a blanket and cheered Tech Guy’s team on… until halftime. ?At the break, she wanted a snack and some hot chocolate, so she and Tech Guy headed towards the concession stand. The line was long, and her guy was getting antsy. After 15 minutes the line was moving, but very slowly. ?Her beau started to turn red with frustration. Finally a few minutes later, when they were only one person away from ordering. It went something like this…

Guy in line getting out his wallet to pay: “Oh no. We need one more hot chocolate and some nachos.”
Tech Guy: “Seriously? You just ordered and couldn’t remember that? Get the f&!% out of the way.”
Guy in line: “What?”
Tech Guy: “You had 20 minutes to figure out what you wanted to order and are now taking way too much time. Hurry up!”
Guy in line: “Dude, chill out.”

Tech Guy now went INSANE. His date had to step in to avoid a full blown fight and never got her hot chocolate. The two got thrown out of the game. ?As you can imagine, the relationship didn’t work out. It was a good date, gone bad. Concession stands and soccer fans are not high on her list for future online dates.

The Peril of the Week was contributed by My Life on Match?and More

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Peril of the Week – Switch and Bait

Peril of the WeekSandra was looking for love online and after a bad experience, she learned to spend more time on the phone getting to know her date before agreeing to meet in person. The gentleman on the other end of the line sounded good enough. ?He offered to meet her at a fine dining restaurant, which sounded to her better than the usual, “Let’s meet for coffee.”

But when she arrived, he said, “Oh, my goodness. It closes for lunch. But look — there’s a McDonald’s down the street.”
Sandra ordered a burger and French fries. Saying he’d had a late breakfast, he ordered a coke, but then hungrily proceeded to make her fries disappear in a private pool of ketchup. ?Between morsels, he launched into a lecture on how sex was good for the complexion and circulation, and, by the way, there’s a nice motel near here and we could have a terrific afternoon improving our complexions.

She refused him politely and said goodbye forever, thinking as she got behind the wheel of her car that he probably would have used her credit card to pay for the motel.

The Peril of the Week was contributed by Howard Eisenberg and Shirley Friedenthal of itsnevertoolatetodate.com

Do you have an online dating story to share?

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