It’s officially Spring!
We know that spring fever is in the air and many singles are hoping to find love this season, or at least fill their date cards.
It’s interesting to note that a lot of MEN are taking their profiles down after a few dates, because they’re connecting with women and are relationship ready!
Now that you’ve moved the clocks forward to daylight savings time, it’s time to think about sunset dates, changing your wardrobe to lighter colors, and getting out to smell the digital roses.
Here are 6 Must-Do Online Dating Tips for Spring
1. Swipe Right
It’s time to turn up the volume and download a few mobile dating apps and start flirting. By now most of you have either used the hot mobile app Tinder, where you swipe to the right to connect with a potential date, or swipe to the left to send them into Internet heaven. It’s time to join the digital party. We can help you with our Swiping Right service to tweak your Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel or other mobile dating apps.
Don’t forget the mobile versions of the dating sites you already belong to. If you’re a member of eHarmony, JDate, Match, OkCupid, PlentyOfFish, Zoosk, or other dating sites, make sure to keep the push notifications on so you can find a date in a digital minute.
2. Log on Twice Daily
Take one hour twice a day and log on to your favorite dating site or scroll through your mobile dating apps. Did you know that just having your profile appearing as online often will raise your visibility in a search to potential dates? Ready, set, log on.
3. Turn on Chat
Whether you’re on Facebook or are on an Internet dating site or mobile dating app, make sure your settings are configured for you to be able to chat with someone IRL. Download Facebook Messenger on your mobile phone if you haven’t done so and start chatting with someone you might have a digital crush on. Every time you hear that chime on your phone or computer, it just might bring a smile to your face.
4. Cast a Wider Net (and Zip Code)
Not getting much activity in your inbox? Expand your search from 15 miles to 60 or even 200 miles. If you find the one, it’s worth the commute, or even relocating for love. Are you limiting yourself to searching for a narrow age range? Revise your search parameters by a few years. That’s right, 5 years lower and 5 years higher than what you’ve already been looking for might be a good idea. If you’ve upgraded to Tinder Plus, their new feature allows you to add a new location to search in, so if you’re planning on visiting friends or family in New York, you can add that location to start getting matched with singles in another city. By the time you arrive, your date card should be filled.
5. Reorder Your Photos
If you have 3-5 of your favorite photos on your profile and can’t find time to grab a new one from your Facebook page, change the primary photo so your profile looks fresh. When you get the time, add a few more recent shots, wearing something colorful and retire those photos that are 5 years old, or more!
6. View and Hotlist Profiles
Some people just don’t like writing emails or making the first contact. If you’re a bit shy about initiating contact, view profiles of those you might be interested in and check out your suggested matches. Chances are they’ll see that you’ve viewed them and will contact you if they’re interested in you. Take it one step further and rate them with 5 stars or put them on your hotlist. Often they’ll be notified, will be flattered, and you just might put a date on your calendar.
7. Watch Your Grammar
A study conducted by online dating site and app Zoosk of 9000 online daters found that 72% of users were turned off by blatant spelling errors. Almost 1/4 thought poor grammar was lazy and 93% of singles would be happy to receive a text with proper punctuation. poorly worded messages or messages with typos and grammatical errors. Don’t be that lazy dater who doesn’t appear to be taking your digital conversation seriously.
The good news is Zoosk found that response rates for opening messages sent with an exclamation point are 10% higher than average!
If you still need some help to make your profile stand out from the rest, contact us about our Irresistible Profiles to help you find your dream date.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love on the Internet for 20 years. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
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Photo credit: Fotolia.com
Can you flirt or fall in love just by staring at someone’s eyes?
I remember the first time I fell in love at first sight. There was something about his eyes that captured my attention. I kept staring at him and then turning my head away quickly, a bit nervously. When we finally started talking, it turned out we had the exact same eyes.
I wrote about that experience in my first published book. It wasn’t just about the eyes. It included perpetual smiles as well.
Perhaps I can say we fell in love at first eye-sight. We still talk about the sparkle in our eyes that brought us together to this day. Research has backed up this theory that you can fall in love with someone just through eye contact.
Then again, there are songs about eyes, such as You’re Too Good to be True, Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You, Brown Eyed Girl, Green Eyes Lady, These Eyes, Spanish Eyes, and the list goes on.
Both men and women are visual. Either the see something or someone they like, or they don’t. This is why popular dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge are so popular and singles are swiping right in record numbers. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we recommend that you ditch those sunglasses in your online dating profiles and mobile apps, and make sure your potential date can stare into your sparkling eyes.
Here are 31 facts on how to flirt with your eyes
- When two people in love gaze into each others’ eyes, their heartbeats synchronize with each other.
- Your eyes dilate almost 50% wider when you look at someone you love or fancy.
- When flirting, a woman will look at someone, then quickly look away and wait 30 seconds if she’s interested.
- Perfect vision makes it easier to fall in love at first sight.
- Gazing straight into a stranger’s eyes can make them fall in love.
- Rapid blinking may mean someone is attracted to you.
- Women will find a man attractive if another woman is looking at smiling at him.
- When someone who finds you attractive locks eyes with you, they automatically go up a notch on your love barometer.
- Sparkling eyes show strong emotions.
- People with a strong connection of love hold eye contact for longer periods of time.
Plus 21 more fun facts in this Infographic below.
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We are thrilled that Marilu Henner had Julie on as a guest again on the Marilu Henner Show.
Julie talked about the latest trends in dating, shared details about her magical epilogue in her newly released book, and gave online dating profile dos and don’ts.
This show will get you ready for Valentine’s.
Listen to the show here.
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Our friends at We Love Dates released an Infographic that would make any online dater pause and take a look. We?re happy to include a special guest post from them with dating and relationship tips to help prevent you from making some first date mistakes when you finally meet someone you truly do like.
Have you ever come home after a first date that you thought went well, only to never hear from him or her again?? It’s pretty safe to say that you have. There will always be much left to the unknown when it comes to first dates (that’s partly what makes them so exciting) here are a few first date mistakes that you might not even know you’ve made…until your phone stops ringing.
1.? Don’t Assume There Is Going To Be a Second Date
First dates are your one chance to make a lasting first impression. Don’t count on future opportunities. Make sure you’re in the right frame of mind and own it.? In addition, don’t make plans for the future, especially if the feelings aren?t mutual. Avoid conversations such as, ?We should do that, let’s go there, we should plan it…? Let second dates evolve naturally.
2.? Sharing Isn’t Always Caring
Remind yourself that this person is, quite literally, a virtual stranger.? There is no need to share your every thought and feeling with them, or spill the messy details of your last break-up. Forget bringing up the latest drama of your girlfriends. He really doesn?t want to know. Remember to keep it light and easy when you first meet.
3.? Don’t Drag It On
If you see there?s no chemistry in the first 15-minutes of your date, why drag it on for another hour-or-two? Keep the date brief as a meet-and-greet. Thank your date for taking the time to meet and move on.
Have you ever made any first date mistakes that you regret? We?d like to hear your stories.
This dating advice post was contributed by We Love Dates. View their infographic here: first date survival guide infographic.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author, and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
When you watch the TV commercials for eHarmony, Match.com, or Zoosk and see several success couples, do you wonder why it’s not working for you?
Before you hang up your digital hat, know that it doesn’t take an army to help you create an irresistible online dating profile, but just like a good newspaper or magazine article, you do need to stand out in the crowded marketplace.
Here are five tips that you can try on your own. If you need a little hand-holding, visit IrresistibleProfiles.com and we’ll get you started in no time.
Tips for Creating an Irresistible Online Dating Profile
1.? It’s all About the Photos. If hiring a professional photographer is in your budget, it’s an excellent idea. Perhaps you don’t need to buy that extra dress on sale. If not, grab a friend with a digital camera and snap about 100 photos in 5 different outfits. You can always fall back on browsing the photos you’ve uploaded on Facebook to add to your profile. Men are visual. If you look like you’re photo, he’ll be pleasantly surprised and will let you know. Most men are disappointed when you post photos from your Senior Prom, or that are a decade old. Post 3-5 photos, and remember to make one of them a full-length shot. Hint: He might be checking Facebook to see if your online dating photos resemble those you’ve posted on Facebook.
2. Create a Catchy Screen Name.??Stumped as to what’s catchy? You’d be surprised how many people take the random name assigned by the computer. Suzie12389 isn’t as catchy as BalletDancerinNY. If you’re still scratching your head and your favorite name is taken, remember the lyrics to a song that you were singing to in the car. How Music Can Enhance Your Online Dating Profile
3. Be Specific. While browsing through profiles, you might notice that so many just seem to look alike. Who wants to date a plain vanilla when they can have sugar and spice or cookies and cream? Don’t say you like music. Say you like classic rock music and are a Bruce Springsteen fanatic as you grew up in New Jersey. Who knows? You might get invited to a concert. Don’t say you like to travel, but say you loved skiing in Lake Tahoe one winter at a specific ski resort. Get the picture?
4. Leave the Novel at Home. There’s no need to reveal all. Sometimes, less is more. Profiles with over 200 words will be looked over after the first few sentences. It’s best to leave some mystery for your phone conversations and when you meet in real life.
5. Leave the Baggage Behind. Whether it’s an ex-boyfriend, ex-spouse, or ex-boss for that matter, no one wants to hear your dirty laundry. Avoid being the “Debbie Downer” of online dating and write about things you love. Everyone has had a bad date or two, but it’s not worth broadcasting. Ask yourself what you’re the most passionate about and let your potential date know what brings you joy.
At the end of the digital day, online dating is a numbers game. With over 120 million people worldwide logging on looking for love, there’s no better way to fill your date card until you find “the one.”
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author, and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating and relationship advice, follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
What happens when your ideal guy and you aren’t ready for a commitment? A confused reader asks for dating and relationship advice with her new male friend.
I need your help and have a dilemma. I recently became friends with a guy and we spend a lot of time together. He texts me every day and due to our busy schedules, makes a point of hanging out with me every weekend. He waits from me after work and is an all-around gentleman.
After a month of spending time with him, I started developing feelings for him and I told him so. I told him that I really care for for him and like him, but that I couldn?t be in a committed relationship since I?m trying to focus on graduating college and establishing a life after school.
When I asked him how he felt about me, he responded that he sees us as friends. It? was a mature conversation and I told him I could accept that.
Can you explain what is going on in this crazy man?s head, or maybe I?m crazy?
Dear Only Friends,
You have described the ideal man. The type of man every woman dreams of – one who is consistent in his actions, spends every weekend with you, is a complete gentleman, and made you a priority on Valentine?s Day.
Your guy hasn?t tossed you in bed and discarded you for another. In short, he?s a keeper and is hanging in there based upon your rules. You?ve told Mr. Perfect that you can?t have a committed relationship with him, and he hasn?t disappeared. The one thing you aren?t doing is being consistent with your feelings for him. Think about it. You tell him you have feelings for him and in the same breath, tell him you can?t be in a committed relationship? Some of the best relationships start off as friends, so you have the foundation for a good relationship moving forward.
Be happy for the friendship. He?s just respecting the confusing boundaries you?ve set in the relationship. Give him the opportunity to take the lead and see where it goes.
Keep us posted.
All my best,
Do you have a dating question or dilemma? If so, we’d love to hear from you. Do you love our site?? We’ve been named a finalist for? Best Dating Blog in the Readers’ Choice Awards and would love your vote to win!
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter.
I recently attended a swanky party in Beverly Hills and met a lovely single woman who said she had to talk to me about her online dating profile. Naturally, I was ready to hear what her secret was.
She boasted about how she had written the most creative and best profile of anyone on Match.com. She went into great details about how she listed everything that was unacceptable in a man and that if he had any of these personality traits, they shouldn’t bother writing to her.
After listening to her enthusiasm about a profile filled with negativity, I asked the million dollar question, ?Did you lie about your age?? Her response was an immediate yes. She claimed, as many singles do, that she looked so much younger than her real age and took six years off her age to fit into a search. When I asked her how long she had been looking for love online, she responded that she hadn?t been in a relationship for six years.
Obviously her personal digital marketing plan wasn?t working. She had never been married and was almost 60 years old. She agreed to a critique and was ready for some dating tips.
Sure, she went to one of the top dermatologists in town. Sure, she wore designer labels and dressed to impress the women who would recognize them. At the end of the day, she was inauthentic and still single.
I offered to critique her profile and made some subtle changes. She listed her dream life, one where she wanted a man to financially support her and proudly claimed she was high maintenance. It wasn?t the life she was living yet, and her inbox wasn?t filled with male suitors ready to sign up. She stated in her first sentence that she was great looking. Men are visual. They will decide upon viewing your profile photo if they are attracted to you or not. Stating it in the first sentence appeared conceited to most men who viewed her photo and most of them moved on.
I share these true stories with you because authenticity is sexy. Being authentic translates to being confident and happy. Where you are now is just fine. Keep your dreams, but portray yourself in your profile as approachable, realistic and human. I encourage all of you who feel you need to lie in your profile about your age, weight, or financial status to toss that belief out the digital window. You are just perfect, the way you are. It?s time for some truth-in-advertising and for you to really find love online.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com. Like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for dating advice and follow her at Twitter.com/JulieSpira
It’s with great enthusiasm to be the featured host of GenConnect’s Live Valentine’s Chat scheduled for Thursday, February 3, 2011 at 3:30pm/ET.
Valentine’s is a very stressful time for both singles who are dateless as well as for couples where the expectations are high. If you’re waiting for him to say, “I love you” or expecting a ring on your finger, you’re putting too much pressure on your relationship.
Join me for a very special pre-Valetine’s live chat with GenConnect. We’ll be discussing both online and offline dating tips and ways to improve your relationship this month. Sign up now to register for this event. One lucky winner will receive a personalized irresistible online dating profile valued at $495. Our hashtag is #gCLove
For details, visit GenConnect.com
In this week’s Where’s Julie column, I’m happy to say that I’m home curled up by the fire busy confirming Valentine’s appearances for the next two weeks. However, in between snowstorms, I had the opportunity to spend a few days in New York City, where I appeared on NBC News to talk about my new book, The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Manners on the Web. The segment was called Netiquette: Minding Your Virtual Manners. I hope you can take a moment to view the video. Comments are always welcome. Even Pope Benedict embraced netiquette for social networking last week.
The Rules of Netiquette was originally the title of a chapter in my first book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, inspired in part when an ex-fiance ended the engagement via email. Yes, that was a netiquette no-no.
While in New York, I had the chance to sip cappuccino with She Knows columnist and author, Jamie Beckman, whose book is featured this month in the Cyber-Dating Expert Reading Room. I also met with the GenConnect group to go over the final details of my Valentine’s live chat scheduled for February 3, 2011 at 3:30pm/Pacific time. The subject will be “For Lovers and Lovers in Waiting.” I’ll be posting details on how you can participate in the live chat on Monday, so get your relationship questions ready.
On Friday, our friends at eHarmony posted my article 5 Reasons She Won’t Call You Back on their site and sent it out to 5 million people on their eHarmony Advice newsletter. The last I looked, there were 76 comments so feel free to chime in. Needless to say, I’ve been busy working on irresistible profiles throughout the weekend for those looking for love online or at least a date before Valentine’s.
Valentine’s is around the corner, and I’ve gone on record as saying, “Valentine’s to a woman is like the Super Bowl to men.” With that in mind, we’ll be posting several articles to help you leading up to Valentine’s Day, regardless of your love stage. For now, take a look at my recent post, Valentine’s Etiquette: Dos and Don’ts for Your Valentine.
Stay tuned for my Valentine’s special offer for Irresistible Profiles for a limited time on February 1st – 6th. ?I’ll also be posting some special free offers from some of the online dating sites next week which are worth signing up for which will appear in the Weekly Flirt.
If your online dream date ever turned out to be a liar, whether 10 years older, 20 pounds heavier?taller, shorter, greyer, balder? – totally different than they were on their profile, than this show is for you. Liar Liar List is a fun site where you can turn in your dates and share the information.
But it’s not all bad news on their site. You’ll hear about the fun ways that you can meet other singles with similar interests through “Puppy Love” and “Audio Horoscopes.” Don’t worry, you’ll have the opportunity to adjust your profile for more authenticity on their site as well as we provide dating advice to help you shine online.
Listen in at 646-929-0012 on Saturday, October 2, 2010 at 2pm/ET, 12 noon/CT, 11am/PT to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
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