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Summer Dating Profile Tips You Can Make Instantly

Summer Dating Tips

Summer starts this week, and at Cyber-Dating Expert HQ, we always see an uptick in new clients looking for love online.

Don’t just take our word for it, as our friends at Match have predicted that Sunday, July 8th will be 20% busier than Valentine’s Day based on 20+ years of data.

If you don’t experience fireworks with someone special on 4th of July, you’ll have an opportunity to find summer love BIG TIME a few days later, and we’re here to help you look your best.

RELATED: 5 HOT TIPS FOR SUMMER LOVE

What should you do to get ready for summer fun?

  1. Update your existing profile now to get ready with new photos wearing summer apparel.
  2. Include some of your favorite summer activities, such as beach barbecues, fly fishing, or hiking.
  3. Change your profile to include favorite date ideas, such as going to an outdoor concert, an amusement park, or riding a tandem bicycle.
  4. If you have a summer vacation booked, include how excited you are to travel to that destination.
  5. Include your favorite flavor of ice cream or frozen yogurt, as it’s a hint of where you should go on a date that extends into dessert.

RELATED: 10 ABSOLUTELY FUN SUMMER DATE IDEAS

There’s something magical about sunshine, beach or lake walks, and finding a summer romance that will last through all of the seasons.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

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Photo credit: Fotolia

Joanna Coles Has New Rules for Finding Love in the Digital Age

Dating should be simple in today’s device-attached world with singles overly glued to their smartphones.

Does this mean finding a love online should be as easy as a few right swipes?

With the enormous and colorful bouquet of singles using dating apps and those hanging their hats on dating sites, it’s a big, beautiful digital playground, but how do you find your needle in the digital haystack?

To help with the cause, Joanna Coles, former editor in chief of Cosmopolitan and current chief content officer of Hearst magazines, published a new set of rules to help singles find love IRL.

In her new book, Love Rules: How to Find a Real Relationship in a Digital World, Coles compares food and dating in a menu-style list of 15 new flavorful rules and advises singles to use their love calories wisely to have an overall healthy life.

I spoke recently spoke to Coles about her new book and why the search for ‘the one’ is so exhausting.

JS: In your book, you make the dating process more fun, by comparing it to a perfect delicious menu and going on a love diet. Why are food and dating so similar?

JC: I think food and dating are similar because we have huge appetites for both. We can’t live without them. When they are delicious, nothing tastes better. When they are junky and toxic, they put us down. You need to use your love calories wisely.

JS: How did you come up with this idea?

JC: I spent a lot of time at Cosmo hearing about dating apps and what they were doing to people. They were swiping endlessly to make a connection, but women were having lengthy text relationships and spending a month or more texting back-and-forth. Then when they’d meet, it was often a disappointment.

JS: What’s your opinion of dating apps?

JC: Dating apps help us meet more people you wouldn’t run up against, but it can feel transactional, like supermarket shopping. People are still searching and craving true intimacy. Dating apps are great as long as you don’t think you’ll find ‘the one.’ with one swipe. Let the app and algorithms do their work. They’re a wonderful arrow in your quiver and can greatly expand your social network.

JS: You believe singles should stop texting and get on the phone. Why is the phone date so important?

JC: The benefit of phone dates is enormous. People think they can fast-forward or microwave the first stages of the relationship. With texting, you get a false sense of intimacy that’s one-dimensional. When you move to a phone date, it takes it to two-dimensions. Singles bring so many expectations to these phone dates and real-life dates with the hope that they will be “the one.” You will know so much just by hearing the sound of their voice.

JS: You list 15 new rules or love hacks. What are you five favorite rules?

JC: 1. Stop with the comfort foods. It’s okay to be a little hungry.

Sleeping with an ex is like eating a doughnut at 4 pm. It’s easy to reach out into your past to get something sweet and familiar, but one hour later, you’re filled with remorse and are still hungry for the real nutrition.



The bottom line: You don’t have to sleep with your ex.

JC: 2. Hookups are like french fries.

There’s no such thing as a casual hookup. Once you have sex with people, feelings start getting involved. Hookups and french fries are both delicious in the moment, but you’ll wake up full of dater’s remorse.

The bottom line: It’s OK to have a hook-up every once in a while if you can handle it.

JC: 3. Porn is like chewing gum—all artificial flavor.

Porn sex is not real sex. It’s done from the viewfinder of the camera, and not from the point of what feels good. Eating ‘Chicken McNuggets’ because you’re hungry isn’t the same as eating organic chicken.

The bottom line: Porn isn’t a role model for intimacy.

JC: 4. Look for relationship role models.

Dating is like being on a job interview, where a future employer will ask, “Who’s your role model?” You know who your relationship role model is, but you’d never ask your date who their role model is.

To find your relationship role model, Coles suggests you jot down a list of couples you admire and those you see supporting each other. They could be your parents or a mentor. Share your relationship role model with your date. Then, ask your him or her who their role model is and listen to their answer.

The goal is to look for someone with similar qualities as your role model.

The bottom line: It’s a unique question to ask to determine your date’s values.

JC: 5. Life is a feast. Take your place at the table.

Embrace imperfection and find a mate who loves you for yours.

The bottom line: Finding love is like fine dining, where take the time to go through all of the courses on the menu.

Not everyone is perfect, but someone will be perfect for you.

The big takeaway from the book is to not solely on dating apps, to pick up the phone to hear the sound of someone’s voice, and to realize you’re on a journey to find love by creating a better quality and happier life. 

 CLICK HERE to purchase a copy of Love Rules.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

Julie Spira – ABC News – Valentine’s Survival Guide

 

With Valentine’s Day just a week away, I sat down with ABC-7’s Coleen Sullivan and Ellen Leyva with a Valentine’s Survival Guide to get you to and through the most romantic day of the year.

Can you find love online in time for Valentine’s Day?

I say yes! With the convenience of your mobile phone, we’ll have you chatting and dating in a digital split second.

Here are 10 Tips to Help You Survive Valentine’s Day With a Hug and a Smile

  • Sign up for a Mobile Dating AppUse your Facebook photos to create a new profile and say “love is in the air.” Have a friend or a dating coach like myself help you with your profile.

 

  • Become a serial dater – This is the time I give you permission to date up a storm. Schedule one date a day until Valentine’s Day. Double-down and schedule two dates a day, where one will surely rise to the top and be worthy of a second date.

 

  • Use Premium Features – Match shows you peak times, where their Top Spot feature will show your profile to get the most visibility for just a few hours. OkCupid’s Boost feature will do the same for 15 minutes.

 

  • Give your date a card – A hand signed card or a love note will warm his or her heart for all dating stages.

 

  • Don’t forget Flowers Two billion dollars will be spent on Valentine’s Day flowers this year. Bring one long-stemmed rose or a dozen tulips to have the same effect, while not breaking the bank.

 

  • Say ‘I Love You’ – If you’re relationship is moving forward, there’s no better time to profess your love than on Valentine’s Day.

 

  • Choose In-Room Dining or Cook a Meal Together – If you’ve waited too long to make a reservation at his or her favorite place, pick up some prepared meals at the grocery store, or ingredients for a spicy romantic dinner. Remember to bring candles.

 

  • The gift of time – Valentine’s Day is about spending quality time together, and there’s not better gift than just being together.

 

  • Valentine’s Breakups – It’s not a great idea, but if your relationship has been sliding downhill since the past holiday season, have a talk with your significant other, sooner rather than later. Valentine’s Day can be filled with pressure, so be kind about it and if you’re going to call it quits, do so in person, and not on the phone, email, or in a text message.

 

  • Singles Awareness Day is on February 15th – If you’re not in the mood to find a Valentine and hate the holiday, there’s no need to fret. The day after will be a holiday to celebrate your single status.

Don’t let the pressure get to you about Valentine’s Day. Some people are still paying off their credit cards from December gift giving. A study shows that 54% plan to spend less than $100 and only 10% of singles spend over $250 on Valentine’s Day.

A survey from OneHourTranslation.com of over 4000 people around the world, showed that 31% plan to purchase their gifts online this year, so there’s still time to send something romantic to your Valentine or digital crush.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and is an award-winning dating coach who’s been helping singles on finding love online for over 24 years. 

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

 

 

Dating Sunday – The Busiest Day for Online Dating on January 7th

Dating Sunday - Julie Spira

Dating Sunday, on January 7th, is the world’s largest digital love-fest. It’s also peak season for online dating, so get ready to join the party.

We’re busy at Cyber-Dating Expert with new singles joining the dating pool in what we call the “Trifecta of Dating.”

  1. Singles are putting love at the top of their New Year’s resolution list.
  2. More singles are joining the dating pool due to a pre and post-holiday break ups.
  3. The countdown clock to Valentine’s Day is ticking.

On ABC 7 Eyewitness News in Los Angeles, I spoke with Anabel Muñoz and John Gregory on why Match has proclaimed this Sunday as the most popular day of the year for online dating.

Watch the segment below.

What should you do to get ready for Dating Sunday?

The days leading up to Dating Sunday are a reflective time for many who are thinking about finding a meaningful relationship.

It’s also “peak season,” for online daters, which starts right after Christmas and goes through Valentine’s Day. 

It’s a time for new beginnings, so take new photos, update last year’s profile, and turn on your push notifications to make the most of this season.

RELATED: 5 TIPS TO ROCK DATING SUNDAY

What is Dating Sunday?

Dating Sunday, or #DatingSunday is the day dating sites see the greatest surge of users. Match been analyzing data since the site was launched in 1995 and predicts 8:55pm/ET, 5:55pm/PT will be the busiest, with  the most usage.

The site reports a 42% spike in new singles joining on this day. During peak season, 50 million messages are expected to be sent during peak season, resulting in 1 million dates!

It’s actually quite exciting to see singles become so positive about finding love online and joining mobile dating apps and sites at the start of the new year.

Other sites, such as Plenty of Fish, expect over 117,000 new signups on Dating Sunday, peaking at 9pm.

Remember, 1 in 3 relationships start online, so you’ll be in good company and we’re here to help you find love in 2018.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of online dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online and on mobile dating apps for almost 25 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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Dating Resolutions You Can Really Keep

New Year's Resolutions

 

My how time flies!

It’s already the middle of January in 2017.  The V word is right around the corner, Valentine’s Day, the ‘Super Bowl ‘of dating.

For those who made New Year’s resolutions, if they included joining a gym, losing weight, dating again or finding love, here’s some wise dating advice to add to your list that we know you can really keep.

1. I will create a NEW online dating profile.

If you’ve tried dating sites without success, guess what? You’ve got a lousy profile. Whether you decide to hire a dating coach to hold your hand or take on the task on your own, it’s time to say out with the old, in with the new. Your stale profile needs a digital facelift to attract your dream date.

2. I will log on EVERY morning before work and EVERY night before going to sleep.

If you can find an hour a day to call your BFFs to talk about your day, or your empty date card, you have time to log on twice so your profile shows you are active and for you to write to and respond to potential dates.

3. I will ACCEPT three dates a week and will stop looking for perfection.

Going on a date doesn’t mean you’ll be walking down the aisle with your date or merging bank accounts. It’s just a date; a meet-and-greet. The more you date, the better dater you will become. So if someone has 50% of what you’re looking for, agree to go on a date. Who knows? He or she just might become a new friend or might have someone else for you if there’s no romantic connection. Fill your date card (less than 50% of the week) by scheduling three dates. Coffee, lunch, drinks, you name it.

RELATED: Moving From Best Friends to In a Relationship

4. I will go out on TWO dates with each person.

Say goodbye to one-and-done dating and hello to meeting new and exciting people. We believe that everyone deserve a second chance. First dates can make many nervous. In fact some people change locations in the same night (dinner somewhere and dessert elsewhere) just to say they’ve gone on two dates. The goal of your first date should be to keep it light and simple and SCHEDULE a second date on the calendar.

5. I will search and write to TEN people a day. Before you shoot the messenger, you should know that by writing to ten people, you might only get one reply. Remember, not everyone is logging on at the same time, some go on vacation, and others are dating multiple people. It’s not unusual for someone to thank you for your email, but to tell you they’ve met one person and want to see where it goes. The only way to be successful is to be PROACTIVE. That means ladies can write to men, so toss out the old rules. Men will be flattered to hear from you, because they are writing to a lot of women and many don’t write back.

Related: Dating Netiquette: Why Grammar Matters

Think of dating and finding the perfect match for you like looking for a job. You won’t stop searching for a job when you’re out of work, even after three bad interviews or no replies. The same goes with dating. If you’re looking for love, you need to put in the effort to win the digital love lottery.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Photo credit: Fotolia

Our Irresistible Profiles Coaching programs come in a variety of levels, from Going Steady, a profile critique to Totally in Love, with a brand new profile and 30 days of unlimited text/email support, to our VIP Digital Matchmaker plan for the most serious of singles, which includes a new profile and 10 private coaching sessions.

So get out of fear mode, stop ghosting, stop swiping without meeting IRL, and come to the digital party with all the tools you need for a happy and loving 2017.

If you need some help in getting started with your online dating profile, contact us and we’ll help you create that IRRESISTIBLE Profile to help you stand out among the millions of online daters.

Julie Spira is a dating coach and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. She’s a finalist for Best Dating Coach in the 2017 iDate Awards. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter, where you’ll also be able to download for free the 7 Secrets to Finding Love Online.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for Dating Advice

Julie Spira Talks to FOX News About Finding Love Again

Julie Spira on FOX 11On FOX 11 LA’s show, 2230, Julie Spira talks about how her book,”The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online” helped bring her long lost love back, after 16 years apart.

Julie explained how writing this book helped heal her heart and those of millions of others.

After over a decade and a half apart, Julie’s long lost love purchased her book, read about their romantic love story, and connected with her on Facebook for Act 3 of their love story.

Watch part of the interview here.

Julie re-released her bestseller “The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online” in 2016 with a new epilogue, complete with a magical fairy tale ending to help singles believe in love again, after the man who was the love of her life read the book and relived the memories he had not forgotten.

Pick up your copy on Amazon Kindle and Audible.

Watch the Full Interview Here

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and on Facebook for online dating advice.