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Memorial Weekend Promo for Irresistible Profiles

4th of July Cyber Dating ExpertMemorial weekend is just around the corner and we’ve decided at Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters to give you a jump start to finding summer love by offering 20% off of two of our popular coaching plans, Going Steady and Totally in Love.

Now is the perfect time if you’re single to work with a dating coach and to meet America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker, Julie Spira.

Save up to $400 if you order these online dating coaching profile packages.

But hurry, this offer if only valid from Wednesday, May 25th to Friday, May 27th.

Sign up here by clicking the red links below

Going Steady (Save $200)

Totally in Love (Save $400 on Our Most Popular Plan)

Don’t you want to find love in time for the summer? I thought so.

*Coaching programs are non-refundable and require 24 hours advance notice to reschedule

There’s Always Room to Fill the Heart with Love

Quote heartbreakWhen the phone rings and someone calls to say they’re heartbroken and can’t imagine their life without the person who is gone, it’s my job to give them hope and to explain how the heart does heal in time.

Today’s quote was inspired by a coaching call with a woman who said her heart was completely broken. It had been shattered and she couldn’t imagine how she could go on with such an empty heart.

I explained to her that the heart fills up and depletes on a daily basis. You see the heart can’t be completely empty, or you wouldn’t have the ability to love your children, family, and friends at all if this was the case. You wouldn’t even be able to breathe, but you still can.

The heart fills up and depletes on a daily basis

The heart can be overflowing with love and joy when you first meet someone and you’re in the honeymoon phase. It’s so exciting you feel like it’s about to burst. Although it feels that way, it will not be bursting. You will be in a state of euphoria and often it’s temporary, for even those we love with all of our hearts, we go through phases of questioning the relationship, phases of disappointment or resentment when our needs aren’t being met, and then bounce back when we are in a state of joy again. It’s like a wave. There’s an ebb and flow to the wave as it comes crashing into the shore, each time reaching a different point on the sand or rocks.

Related: Irresistible Profiles to Help You Find Love

When it comes to matters of the heart, all forms of logic are tossed out the window. The stage of first love, early love and the pitter-patter of the heart feelings are real and when they are experienced, there’s nothing better.

So if you find that your relationship isn’t as fulfilling and that your heart is questioning it, it’s natural. Every day doesn’t have an overflowing heart, but it should have an appreciative heart. One that allows you to grow with an individual and to grow on your own.

You see, people are falling in love over and over again with their partner. There are different types of love, whether it’s lust, friendship, companionship, romantic love, or a deep passion. All of these types of feelings do exist with the same person. If a relationship can’t move past the three week or three month mark, then you were really existing in the lust phase only.

The heart is meant to last and move.

You see the heart is meant to last and move. It beats. You breathe in and you breathe out. Sometimes you can’t imagine anyone else in your life but the person you love or loved so deeply. Other times you wonder how any one person can decide on how full your heart should be. That’s more realistic.

The point here is when you’re unsure of your relationship or if your heart is hurting, know that it is temporary. The universe is like a vacuum. In time, the heart will fill up again. For some slowly, for others it can be rather quickly.

Related: Gone Fishing or Is it Over

To achieve the ultimate feeling of love, let the heart fill with your own personal joy to the point that anyone who joins you in this game of life is joining your already fully loved heart. Keep smiling as that will attract new people to you.  Know that you are always loved, even when you’re not sure you’re feeling it.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

P.S. If you need some hand holding, find out how Irresistible Coaching can help you get back on the dating saddle.

Related: 20 Flirty Text Messages to Capture His Heart

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades. For dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

Quote of the Day

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Quote of the Day

“The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” ~Albert Ellis

I’ve always said, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” There’s so much truth to that with online dating or mobile dating apps. There’s a fine line between being needy and sending too many emails, to checking in again with someone who didn’t respond a week or two later.

You see, women get bombarded with emails and messages from guys. Guys know that, so they send a large quantity of messages or swipe right on just about everyone since it’s a numbers game.

The way it works, is to be proactive with your love life. Don’t sit around and wait for Mr. or Ms. Right to appear and sweep you off your feet. Give someone a chance if they make the effort to try to get your attention. Even if there’s no chemistry with them, you might make a new friend or perhaps can introduce hi or her to someone you know who would be a better fit.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow @Julie Spira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Find out how our Irresistible Profiles Dating Coaching Programs will help YOU find love.

Read our bestselling book, recently revised on Kindle and Audible

Tinder Love Story – Steph and Mark

Tinder Love StoryMeet Steph and Mark who found love on Tinder.

About six month’s after Steph’s divorce was final, she decided to sign up for Match.  She realized that dating via the night scene was not working for her, so after a friend had told her she joined Match, Steph followed suit.

After reading the Cyber-Dating Expert blog, Steph decided it was time to give Tinder a try.

Here’s her Tinder love story, in her words.

I met many wonderful men who were not for me.  I had a few minor heartaches as I learned more about myself and what I thought I needed.  By the time October rolled around, I was feeling less than positive about all dating. I was going through the motions of keeping up my profile, answering emails, etc.  I  pushed back on every inquiry.

Related: These Jobs Get the Most Right Swipes on Tinder

Late October 5, 2015, I swiped right and matched with Mark.  At 10:45 am, October 6th, I made a move to try to weed this one out:

Mark was so nice and returned my Boston attitude with kindness.  So I decided to give this a shot.  We quickly moved to phone texting and talking. Mark asked me to go to dinner.  On Sunday, October 11th, we met in Buckhead. He pulled up on a busy street.  I looked in his car and thought, “oh boy, I am in trouble!”

Mark, newly divorced after 25 years, joined Tinder because of the safety of “virtual” vetting and the seemingly abundant options on that app in this area.  On paper, Mark and I didn’t match.  I thought I needed a city guy with a like attitude who can handle me.  He never considered  a “Yankee” as a partner.

Related: Matt and Alee: They Met on Tinder

On our own, we may have rejected the thought of dating each other.  Through Tinder, we learned more about ourselves and what is truly important in our lives.  We have both come to understand that the similarities we share in humor, faith, family values, mutual support and reciprocity are what drives our desire to meld our worlds, not our ethnicity or where we were born.

I couldn’t be happier to be proven wrong by a dating app. The last five months have been a joy learning to love again.  We both look forward to the days to come, and we are grateful for the “right swipe.”

Congratulations to Steph and Mark who prove you can find love on Tinder by Swiping Right.

Send us your story and we might feature YOU in our Cyber Love Story series.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Submit Your Online Dating Stories

 

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out how Irresistible Coaching can help you find your dream date.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

National Get Over It Day: Time to Let Go Of Your Ex

LogoWhether you’re stuck on an ex, upset with your significant other, or still hurting from a recent breakup, it’s time to get over it.

March 9 is National Get Over It Day, so it’s the perfect time to let go of any anger, disappointment, hurt, rejection, or stress in your life – all of which can be caused by holding on to the scattered remains of an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

If you’re worried you might be the only one to ever get hung up on an ex, you’re not alone. National Get Over It Day was created by Jeff Goldblatt in 2005 after he was having a lot of trouble getting over his ex-girlfriend.

How can you get over your ex?

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we’re here to help with these 5 tips.

1. Spend Time With Friends

You may think being alone is the best way for you to deal with your feelings, but isolating yourself will only make it worse. Get out of bed, get your hair and nails done, go on a hike, and be with those who love you, regardless of your relationship status.  Acknowledge that you have feelings you need to talk about and ask a friend or your girlfriend network if they can spare some time to hear you out.

Related: 7 Signs the Way You’re Dealing With Your Breakup is Unhealthy

2. Find New Hobbies

Being active so that you’re not alone with your thoughts is important, but finding new hobbies and activities you can enjoy on your own is also a good idea. Instead of focusing on the things you did as a couple, find activities you can do on your own or with a close friend. Check out events on Facebook or MeetUp if you get stuck, but get out of the house to get over it.

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3. Stay Off of Your Ex’s Social Media

Checking up on an ex is the one way to ensure you won’t get over them. There’s nothing wrong with seeing how they’re doing, but checking up on them constantly after a recent breakup has the potential to become obsessive and prevents you from healing. Facebook now allows you to minimize the feed of your former flame, without having to unfriend or block them.

Related: Facebook Eases the Digital Pain When You Break Up

4. If It Still Hurts, Go No Contact

Maybe you and your ex decided to stay friends and it’s too hard on you, or maybe they feel as if they really hurt you and keep checking in to make sure you’re okay out of guilt. This can potentially hinder your healing process, and if it does, let your ex know and ask them to stop communicating with you. Sometimes you have to cut someone out completely and go NC depending on the circumstances. It’s okay to block your ex if they persist on speaking with you, even if you’ve asked them not to do so.  Just tell them you’re doing it to avoid creating any more drama around the breakup.

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5. Don’t Hide Your Pain

A breakup can be one of the toughest emotional hardships we go through. Don’t try to stifle your emotions. It’s perfectly normal to feel hurt and to spend time grieving over your breakup. The sooner you deal with your emotions surrounding the loss, the sooner you can move past it. They say time heals all wounds. While this is cliche, there’s nothing further from the truth. We’ve all been there and it really hurts, but know that it’s temporary. Who knows what the next chapter will unveil? It’s true that when one door closes, another opens.

Related: Dating Expert Guide to Breaking Up

Can’t figure out what you need to get over it? Goldblatt says “just ask your friends what they’re tired of hearing you complain about.” Yes, your friends will tell you the truth. Then, take the time to go online and dip a toe in one at a time. Someone special just might be waiting to meet you. When the time is right, you’ll know.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

twitter - Julie SpiraPerils of Cyber-Dating Audio Book CoverInstagram Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert, Mobile Dating Expert, and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating, and  was an early adopter of Internet dating, coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out how Irresistible Profiles will help you fill your date card to find your dream date.

Sign up for the free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox, along with the 7 Secrets to Finding Love Online.

 

Dating Profile Photos to Rock His World

Dating Found - HER

Turn to the left and smile? Sunglasses on, or off? Cleavage or cover up?

What are the best photos for your Irresistible online dating profile to capture his digital eye?

Finding the right photos for your online dating profile can be tough. Ladies, if you’ve ever wondered which photos are the best ones to put on your online dating profile, the guys have spoken up to state their faves.

In a recent online dating experiment by DatingFound, 3,570 single men were asked to rate the attractiveness of women’s Internet dating profiles, by rating their profile photos on a scale of 1 to 10.

Here’s how the photos ranked in popularity.

Showing Skin

Almost half of the men in the survey (41% ) said they liked to see a woman showing some flesh in her online dating profile. Women showing off cleavage by wearing low-cut tops and dresses in their profile pictures scored high for younger women. For those more mature in age, guys preferred to see a more conservative look, keeping a little mystery alive.

Even though pictures showing more skin result in more messages from digital crushes, you don’t want to look as  though that’s the only thing you have to offer. Remember – no bikini shots!

Happy Girls are a Complete Turn On

This survey found that 39% of men like the look of a woman who smiles in her profile pics.

Smiles can turn strangers into soulmates, so make sure you look happy in your profile photos. Happiness creates trust and approach-oriented behaviors in single men and increases your attractiveness.

Remember to flirt! A smiling profile picture is perfect because it appears as if you’re smiling at the viewer and men will respond enthusiastically.

Don’t Just Use Your Head Shots

Professional head shots look great in an online dating profile, but 11% of men like when a woman shows something they love. Appeal to men by putting your personality on display and show your fun side.

Take pictures that show your lifestyle. A shot of you reading a book, playing a guitar, cooking, golfing, yoga, or doing an activity you do regularly appeals to men.

Related: Creating an Irresistible Online Dating Profile Tips

Show Off Your Best (Left) Side

It’s been proven that we show more emotion from the left side of our face, and showing our left side in photos can create deeper resonance in those who view them.

Nine percent of men liked it  when a woman showed her left side in photos. Left-side photos are also more pleasing to the eye as they change up the viewing angle from a straight-on view.

P.S. This goes both ways, as women also liked viewing photos of men with their left side.

Which Photo Should You Show First?

You should have one of each of these photos on your profile to get the most possible messages from your matches.

  1. Start with a photo of you showing off a little skin to capture attention.
  2. Can you say cheese? Post smiling happy photos (both close up and full body).
  3. Fun photos with activities that you’re passionate about.
  4. Left side poses.

Which Photos Should You Never Use?

  1. Avoid sunglasses as it could appear that you’re hiding something. Let him see your sparkling eyes.
  2. Avoid group photos with your friends. Don’t confuse a guy by making him wonder who he will be meeting on the date.
  3. Ditch the selfies. Need we say more? You just don’t look your best and it sends the message that it’s all about you.
  4. Keep your pets out of your primary photo shot. Most of us love puppies and pets, but posting your first photo with your four-legged friend sends the message that your puppy sleeps in bed with you. Where’s the room for your new beau?

Related: Puppy Love: Dating Sites Match Pet Lovers

The full DatingFound infographic can be found here.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

JUST RELEASED: Our 2nd edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating is now available on Kindle and as an audio book, narrated by the author.

Listen to our book trailer here.

Confused: Is He Ghosting?

GhostingA popular topic unfortunately is the trend of ghosting. If you haven’t heard of the term, it’s when someone you’re dating, even someone who calls you their boyfriend or girlfriend just disappears, even when things appear to be going great between the two of you.

In today’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a woman writes:

Dear Julie:

We have been dating for a month, meeting almost everyday and calling it a real relationship. He even told his family and friends that he is dating me. We had a small argument over a stupid thing then he start ghosting me. I called him twice and sent text messages a few times. After our argument he posted our picture to Instagram.  Two days later, he removed it.

I am confused. I removed him from Facebook and Instagram but he he hasn’t removed me from his Instagram.

What happened?

Ghost Victim.

My reply to this unfortunate dating dilemma:

Dear Ghost Victim,

You’re not alone. Dating someone for only one month is just that; dating. When people are dating, they are often dating others and leaving their options open to possibly date multiple people until they decide to be exclusive.

READ: IS YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND GHOSTING?

Urban Dictionary’s top definition of dating is:

Dating: “Of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.”

Being on each other’s Facebook and Instagram accounts when you’re dating is common these days. It doesn’t mean you’re exclusive and it doesn’t mean it will last forever. What I don’t know in your case is what your argument was about, but if it turned him off, chances are he pulled back. He might be dating others, he might just need his space. But if he isn’t feeling good about the two of you, it’s understandable that he’d take photos of you down from Instagram, so other women won’t think he’s taken.

You’ve already reached out a few times. He hasn’t. My best advice to you is to fill your date card, right now. It’s good that you unfriended him on Facebook, but please DON’T stalk his instagram account. I always say, “Seek and ye shall find.” If you keep looking, you’ll probably see a photo of him and another woman, or him having fun somewhere without you.

READ: WHAT TO DO WHEN HE PULLS BACK

One month is too soon for a couple to know if they’ll ride into the sunset together. Ghosting after one month is common, because the level of commitment isn’t there. It’s lazy and cowardly, but it’s the easy way out.

Go out and have fun with your friends. Accept dates. Stop looking on his social media to see what he’s up to. You can wonder why, but put it behind you. He’s just another guy who ghosted because he got spooked or isn’t feeling it anymore.

If he comes back, you might already be in the arms of a great guy who won’t bolt when there’s a bump in the road.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Do you need dating advice or have a question for Julie Spira? Submit your dating questions here.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet Dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

For personalized coaching, find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date and sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

 

 

The Best Online Dating Tips – The Night Side

News Talk 1010It was an honor and joy to be a guest on the Night Side on News Talk 1010 in Toronto with guest host Tony Chapman.

In this fun-filled hour on the radio, we talked about the early days on Internet dating, how I became an online dating expert, tips on what makes a great online dating profile photo, why singles swipe right and left on Tinder and other mobile dating apps, niche dating sites such as ChristianMingle and JDate and ‘catfishing’ and more.

When asked why online dating works so well, with one out of three relationships starting online, I explained that Internet dating is efficient. It’s available 24-hours a day. You can be sitting at work one moment, get a push notification on your mobile phone and be on a coffee date within minutes.

Tony wondered why people sign up for dating sites when they can date on Facebook for free, and I chimed in that Facebook could be the world’s largest dating site, if they wanted to be.

Listen to this replay of our live broadcast for everything you need to know to be successful with online dating.

For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She  was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For help with your online dating profile check out IrreistibleProfiles.com and SwipingRight to help find your dream date.

4th of July Fireworks Special – Irresistible Dating Profiles

Fourth of July is around the corner, so if you’re feeling like your relationship status should be called a “dud” or if it’s really complicated, don’t accept your ho-hum love life. It’s time to ignite some fireworks and kick-off the summer holiday!

At Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, we’ve decided to help you ramp up your search with a wonderful 20% HOLIDAY Savings! But we’re only limiting this offer to TEN lucky people from now until Sunday night, July 5th.

Choose from these special packages:

SWIPING RIGHT – Let us optimize your Tinder or mobile dating profile. Are you tired of swiping with no matches? Perhaps you get matched but he or she won’t respond to your flirty email. We’re here to help speed that search.

SWIPING RIGHTSAVE $20





THE FLIRT – Already have a dating profile, but need a quick critique? In our Flirt package, we’ll spend 45 minutes answering your questions and giving you advice on how to change your profile.

THE FLIRT SAVE $50





GOING STEADY – A brand new Irresistible Profile to attract your dream guy or girl. We do this with you live and interactively. If you’re profile is stale and you have an empty inbox, this package is for you!

GOING STEADY – SAVE over $150





TOTALLY IN LOVE – Our most POPULAR package includes a brand new Irresistible Profile PLUS 30 days of unlimited email/text support. We know the first 30 days with your brand new profile are the most important. We’re here to answer any questions from what to wear on your date to help you craft emails to doing a Digital Matchmaker search for you!

TOTALLY IN LOVE – SAVE $250





*Don’t wait as this offer is valid for the FIRST 10 People who sign up and will sadly expire on July 5th at midnight when the price will revert back to the regular rate.

Sign up now and let the next Cyber Love Story of the Week be your own.

*Coaching Packages are non-refundable

Online Dating Tips on Newstalk 1010, Julie Spira

Julie Spira - AM 1010How do you create an irresistible online dating profile and protect yourself from being a victim of a ‘Catfish?’

We tackled these questions and more in a radio interview on “The Night Side” on AM1010 in Toronto with Barb DiGiulio.

From word-count to safety; photos to emails; long-distance relationships and more, listen in to find out how you can be more successful with Internet dating.

Follow @JulieSpira for online dating advice.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has helped singles find love online for over 20 years. For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and visit CyberDatingExpert.com.

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