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Do you have to drink while on a date?

While singles aspire to have a unique and memorable first date (after all, he or she could be ‘the one’), more often than not, someone you will meet on an online dating site or mobile dating app will ask you to get together for the default date of “drinks” or “coffee.”

While meeting someone at a happy hour, could advance to dinner, what do you do if you don’t drink alcohol? Should you fake it, or order a “mocktail?”

In polling over 8,000 online daters and analyzing over 100,000 messages, dating app Zoosk asked these questions and more for this Drinking Study.

Some of their findings show that singles are drinking big time on dates, with the majority, 72% consuming alcohol.

Since 1/3 of singles are non-drinkers, and it can help relax you if you’re nervous about a date, how does dating sans alcohol affect their dating lives?

No one should feel pressured at all on a first, date, but the Zoosk Drinking Study found that 10% of singles actually pretended to sip an alcoholic drink while on a date.

RELATED: 10 Fun Summer 1st-Date Ideas That Are More Fun Than Just Grabbing a Drink

How do singles really feel about drinking on a date?

• A majority of singles (92%) order their first drink before their date arrives.
• A majority of singles (73%) believe meeting for drinks makes a good first date.
• Over half of singles (55%) think two (2) drinks should be the maximum on a date.
• Mentioning “sparkling wine” in your online dating profile or message increases  your response rate by 29%.

All of this pressure to drink to feel more relaxed on date isn’t that necessary.

The study found that almost a third of non-drinkers find it more difficult to date when they didn’t drink, but it’s not all doom-and-gloom.

A majority of drinking singles (86%) say they’d date a non-drinker, and non-drinkers (81%) are open to dating those who drink alcohol.

RELATED: Summer Dating Profile Tips You Can Make Instantly

What’s the solution?

If you feel the pressure to order a beverage, and you’re not interested in getting a buzz, try ordering kombucha, ginger ale, tonic and water, cranberry and soda, iced-tea, or an espresso.

Or, in the alternative, suggest a fun outing or daytime date that doesn’t include alcohol.

We’ve got plenty to choose from here.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Summer starts this week, and at Cyber-Dating Expert HQ, we always see an uptick in new clients looking for love online.

Don’t just take our word for it, as our friends at Match have predicted that Sunday, July 8th will be 20% busier than Valentine’s Day based on 20+ years of data.

If you don’t experience fireworks with someone special on 4th of July, you’ll have an opportunity to find summer love BIG TIME a few days later, and we’re here to help you look your best.

RELATED: 5 HOT TIPS FOR SUMMER LOVE

What should you do to get ready for summer fun?

1. Update your existing profile now to get ready with new photos wearing summer apparel.
2. Include some of your favorite summer activities, such as beach barbecues, fly fishing, or hiking.
3. Change your profile to include favorite date ideas, such as going to an outdoor concert, an amusement park, or riding a tandem bicycle.
4. If you have a summer vacation booked, include how excited you are to travel to that destination.
5. Include your favorite flavor of ice cream or frozen yogurt, as it’s a hint of where you should go on a date that extends into dessert.

RELATED: 10 ABSOLUTELY FUN SUMMER DATE IDEAS

There’s something magical about sunshine, beach or lake walks, and finding a summer romance that will last through all of the seasons.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

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Meet Melissa and Ross, who found love on Match.

When Melissa first came to me, she was nervous about hiring a dating coach, and just became single for the first time in 20 years. She was actually terrified of trying online dating for the first time.

We created her Irresistible Profile on Match, had a super-fun photo shoot, and went live her dating profile with the headline of “LA Farm Girl.”

Melissa loves animals, had lived on a ranch, and as a single mom of two teenage kids, needed to find someone who was devoted to his family like she was.

Ross, whose screen name was “Dog Lover” wrote to Melissa within a few days of her profile going live.

His first message said, “You are beautiful and too beautiful to be on Match.”

He asked, “Is that what you really look like?”

Melissa replied with, “I sure hope so. I just took the photos last week.”

Before she met Ross, 
Melissa went on three dates to build up her confidence and get out of her shell. “It felt a bit overwhelming,” she said.

RELATED: Moving from Best Friends to a Relationship

As Melissa and Ross continued to chat, they both realized they had much more than pets and children in common. Both had coincidentally attended the University of Southern California (USC) at the same time, were both enrolled in the communications program, and lived two houses apart. It was hard to believe that they had never met while in college.

Then one day, Ross sent her a message on Match and asked, “Are you done meeting these weirdos and ready to give me a chance?”

Melissa felt a connection with him and started doing her due diligence to vet Ross to make sure he was the real deal. One of her friends told her that Ross was a terrific attorney. Another friend of hers said they had built Ross’s house, and that their children went to school together.

“Everyone said wonderful things about him,” says Melissa.

Because they knew so many people in common, she felt safe about having him pick her up for their first date.

By the time they met, Melissa said they both felt like they had known each other forever.

For their first date, Ross arrived with roses, wine, and they went to dinner, where they felt a warm connection right away. “He was a real gentleman,” says Melissa.

“I knew when I saw your picture and when I heard your voice from the first conversation, that you were ‘the one,'” says Ross.

RELATED: How to Take Down Your Match Profile When You Meet The One

They quickly introduced their kids to each other, met each other’s families, and now realize they are each other’s forever.

Congratulations to Melissa and Ross, our online dating success couple, who proves that the big world-wide-web can make you feel like you’re at home when the right one comes along.

Read our other Cyber Love Stories

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

In a study over over 100,000 dating profiles conducted by online dating site Zoosk, they found the majority (91%) of singles really do care about the environment, with 58% who said dating someone who cares about being eco-friendly an attractive quality. We feel the same and you hope you do too.

In the Zoosk Earth Day study, they asked 5,100 singles about their love for the environment, along with ecological attitudes about those they’d be interested in dating.

Nix the Trash on Earth Day and Every Day

When it comes to trash, if you’re one who litters, you probably won’t get a second date.

The study showed that 74% find littering a deal-breaker, with 81% finding littering an annoying habit. So if you see garbage on the ground, it’s wise to pick it up and toss it away properly, as the survey revealed that 59% of singles say picking up litter is sexy.

Zoosk provided a list of eco-friendly words to add to your online dating profile to get a greater response.

The most popular words to start using now to generate a response on your dating profile include: reuse, organic, environment, farmers market, nature, earth, tree, forest, outdoors, hippie, plant, and wildlife.

RELATED: 7 Days to Celebrate Earth Day With Your Date

Favorite Green Date Ideas

Thinking about suggesting an environmental-friendly date? 

The most popular green date ideas that online daters like include: going to the beach, going on a picnic, stargazing, visiting a local farmers market, or going on a hike.

So it’s time to fill your date cards with those who care about our beautiful earth, as 78% of singles responded that they’d like to date someone who cares about the environment and 51% prefer to date someone who’s energy efficient.

Wishing you much love and joy on this Earth Day.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert.  She was an early adopter of Internet and mobile dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles dating programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Dating Sunday, on the first Sunday of the New Year, is the world’s largest digital love-fest. It’s also peak season for online dating, so get ready to join the party.

We’re busy at Cyber-Dating Expert with new singles joining the dating pool in what we call the “Trifecta of Dating.”

• Singles are putting love at the top of their New Year’s resolution list.
• More singles are joining the dating pool due to a pre and post-holiday break ups.
• The countdown clock to Valentine’s Day is ticking.

On ABC 7 Eyewitness News in Los Angeles, I spoke with Anabel Muñoz and John Gregory on why Match has proclaimed this Sunday as the most popular day of the year for online dating.

What should you do to get ready for Dating Sunday?

The days leading up to Dating Sunday are a reflective time for many who are thinking about finding a meaningful relationship.

It’s also “peak season,” for online daters, which starts right after Christmas and goes through Valentine’s Day. 

It’s a time for new beginnings, so take new photos, update last year’s profile, and turn on your push notifications to make the most of this season.

RELATED: 5 TIPS TO ROCK DATING SUNDAY

What is Dating Sunday?

Dating Sunday, or #DatingSunday is the day dating sites see the greatest surge of users. Match been analyzing data since the site was launched in 1995 and predicts 9:05pm/ET, will be the busiest, with the most usage.

The site reports a 69% spike in new singles joining on this day. During peak season, 50 million messages are expected to be sent during peak season, through Valentine’s Day, resulting in 1 million dates!

It’s actually quite exciting to see singles become so positive about finding love online and joining mobile dating apps and sites at the start of the new year.

Other sites, such as Plenty of Fish, expect over 117,000 new signups on Dating Sunday, peaking at 9pm.

Remember, 1 in 3 relationships start online, so you’ll be in good company and we’re here to help you find love in 2019.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of online dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online and on mobile dating apps for almost 25 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter for Dating Advice Delivered to Your InBox

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Let’s talk about food. It’s Thanksgiving week, which means that Christmas will be here in a digital minute.

With all of the food consumption going on during the holidays and with singles dating up a storm in ‘cuffing season,’ our friends at Zoosk decided to survey 7000 singles to gauge their feelings about the most popular food to eat on a date.

If you’re planning on perusing a menu, or cooking up a storm for your date, here are some surprising facts about food and online dating, to help you decide what to order on date night, or write in your profile to get more messages.

Food Fact 1: Guacamole is the Most Popular in a Profile. 

While you might think mentioning chocolate would get the most responses, it actually ranked at number three. While analyzing over 3.7 million dating profiles and more than 364 million first messages, those who mentioned “guacamole” in their profile received 144% more messages. Who knew that mashed avocados would be so sexy? In between the guacamole and chocolate, potatoes ranked at number two, with 101% more messages.

Food Fact 2: Fried Chicken and Yams are the Worst To Mention in a Profile.

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If you’ve got a craving for fried chicken or yams, don’t order it on a date, list it in your profile, or cook it for your date. The Zoosk survey found mentioning yams resulted in a 70% decrease in inbound messages, with fried chicken ranking with a 15% decrease.

Food Fact 3: Foodies are Sexy.

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While saying you’re a “foodie” can sound as cliché as “taking a beach” walk or going from “jeans to black tie,” it’s true that the way to a man’s heart is often through his stomach. With that in mind, if you really love unique restaurants and keep up on the latest food trends, say so. The survey found profiles that include the word “foodie” receive 82% more incoming messages, while those who mention the word “cook” receive 26% more incoming messages.

Food Fact 4: Seafood is the Most Popular Food to Order on a Date.

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Have a dinner date? If you love seafood, you’re at the top of the list. The survey showed that seafood ranked the highest at 19% for online daters for their favorite date-night food, while steak came in as a close second at 18%. Does sushi count as seafood? Well, almost. Sushi ranked at number 5 at 8%.

Food Fact 5: Chocolate Covered Strawberries are Still the Sexiest.

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When I cook a romantic dinner, often I will pick up chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. Next to feeding each other crème brûlée, it’s the most romantic dessert I know of, and the Zoosk survey agreed with 34% ranking it as number one. Wine and cheese came in second place at 28%. There’s no need to get too fancy, as caviar ranked at the bottom of the list at 1%.

Click here for complete details on the Zoosk survey.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

FIND OUT how Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE WEEKLY FLIRT Newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Are you flirting up a storm on Instagram?

Do you think finding love online means only swiping right on Tinder, Bumble or mobile apps?

Is your online dating profile a bit stale and your inbox on the empty side?

As a dating coach, I”m here to teach you how to flirt and find a date on social media, especially on Instagram.

1. Make sure your Instagram profile is public so people can follow you.

You’d be surprised how gun-shy some singles are about Instagram. They may post the most adorable selfies, but have their settings set to private, so unless you’re already connected as friends, you won’t be able to view or like their posts. If you’re single, toss out that fear of being in the public eye. It’s time to make your profile private and become strategic about what you post and who you decide to follow.

2. State in your bio that you’re single.

Being single isn’t a disease. It’s just the relationship status you have at the moment. Often there’s a digital crush who might think you’re taken, even if he or she sees a photo in the arms of your favorite cousin. By stating you’re single, you’ve just opened the love floodgates to millions of potential dates. Get ready for the ride!

RELATED: DATING IN AN INSTAGRAM WORLD

3. Follow back interesting people you think you’d like to date or at least be friends with.

If your follower count is starting to rise, don’t just look at the number. Instead look at who your latest follower is and if they seem interesting at all, follow them back. If they start posting creepy updates, you can always unfollow, or even block them if necessary.

4. Start “liking” their posts, slowly, so you won’t appear like a stalker.

Some singles like to use social media sites in a voyeuristic way. You peek, but you don’t click the like button. You never comment. You don’t even post, but you’re busy watching your followers’ feeds. It’s time to ramp up the flirting and take the digital plunge. Start slowly by liking someone’s posts, but don’t instantly like EVERYTHING this new crush posts or you may come across as needy, creepy, or even as a stalker!

5. Like your crush’s selfies.

Instagram is the perfect home for dating in a selfie world. The reason people post selfies is, well, because they want others to “like” or comment on how great they look or how cool they are. If your crush is looking for attention, don’t be shy. It’s time to click the like button, so you can show up in their feed and get on their digital radar.

6. Post to Instagram Stories

It’s no secret that the ‘Stories’ features which appear at the top of your Instagram feed get the most action. Caption your photos, add a video for more engagement and you’ll rank higher on the dating totem pole than solely posting updates.

7. Start commenting on their posts and add the heart emoticon.

Social networking works best when you remember to stay sociable. Slowly start commenting on his or her posts, but not all of them. If you see they are starting to comment on your posts, add in a heart emoticon to show you might want to be more than just friends.

8. Start using hashtags of #single #singlelife #love #relationships #dating so others can follow you.

Nothing’s a bigger turnoff than going on a digital campaign for someone who isn’t available. When you’re single, let your followers subtly know by using hashtags that define your relationship status. It’s bold, but not as needy as saying, “hey, I’m dateless this weekend and am bummed out about it.”

9. Post romantic quotes about love.

Feeling the love? Show it in your quotes. We post quotes with lyrics from love songs on Instagram, romantic quotes, and create some of our own to show we’re interested in love, big time. So should you.

10. Start searching for others with similar hashtags and start following them.

Being single is better when you’re in similar company. Do a search on Instagram for hashtags of other singles to see who’s feeling like they might want to couple up this ‘Cuffing Season.’

RELATED: YOUR GUIDE TO CUFFING SEASON – GET READY TO COUPLE UP

11. Reply to comments on your posts from someone you could have a crush on.

So you’re in a groove on Instagram and your crush is commenting on your updates and selfies. Now’s not the time to back peddle and get shy. Click the heart button to his or her comments and reply back with an emoticon or xo.

12. Become a Tindstagrammer and Start Direct Messaging.

Once you’ve developed an online rapport, it’s time to start those private chats. In an article on Mashable, writer Rachel Thompson claims that Instagram is the new Tinder – whether you want it to be or not. In addition, if the object of your digital affection ignored you or swiped left on Bumble or Tinder, now they have a public chance to write to you on Instagram. It can be viewed as tenacious or creepy, so if you don’t get a response, hold back from bombarding someone in Insta in multiple DMs.

13. Post Videos

Whether you’re at a concert or the farmer’s market, views to videos just get viewed more often on Facebook and Instagram. Better yet, share it to your Stories and let your crush hear your voice.

14. Swap Digits So You Can Meet IRL.

At the end of this love campaign, if you and your crush are in a groove on Instagram, it’s time to take the plunge and send a DM with your phone number to text each other and make plans to meet in person. After all, you won’t really know if you have offline chemistry until you meet IRL.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the Digital Matchmaker who’s been coaching singles online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Instagram and Twitter

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox

I’ve always said that music can be an important part of your online dating profile and our friends at Match agree.

I’ve encouraged singles to include their favorite bands, use song lyrics for screen names, or list the upcoming concerts they’re scheduled to attend.

Many dating apps give you the ability to link your spotify account to your profile to see if you have similar musical taste, which is a great ice breaker.

Taking it a step further, Match created this fun musical video about a couple who met online and are excited about their new found relationship. The two are in serious crush mode and it will make you smile.

Watch this video of Match: The Musical

You just might find yourself humming along and clicking the replay button and logging on more often to find that same type of connection.

RELATED: How Music Can Improve Your Dating Profile

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. As an early adopter of Internet dating, she’s been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

CLICK HERE for 25% of  you membership to Match

Hello Summer!

You crept up fast.  It’s time to list some of our best date ideas for summer love for when you’re done swiping right on mobile dating apps, have been successfully matched on dating sites, and it’s time to meet IRL.

Happy dating and enjoy the sunshine!

1. Go to a baseball game

It’s the season for America’s favorite past time. Nibble on peanuts and Cracker Jack and enjoy the 7^th inning stretch.

Check the MLB.com website for dates and times.

Not in a baseball city? Find a minor league game near you.

2. Find a free outdoor concert

Combine summertime, being outdoors, and music, and it’s a great recipe for love.

Bring a picnic meal and a blanket and take in the sounds of local artists in your area.

Some museums and parks actually have well-known musicians performing, so check your local papers and online sites.

3. Ride the Ferris Wheel

Go to an amusement park and ride the Ferris Wheel or even the roller coaster, if you dare.

Feeling like a big kid on your date will be fun for everyone involved. If you’re on the top of the Ferris Wheel, lean over for a magical kiss to remember.

4. Watch an outdoor movie

While drive-in theaters have become obsolete, the trend of watching movies on a big screen at a shopping center, or local park has become all the rage.

Remember to bring a blanket to bundle up in with your date for when it starts to get cold towards the end of the evening.

4. Barbecue

Nothing says more of hot fun in the summertime than grilling with your date.

Make sure to go grocery shopping together to spice up the date. Cooking together can be filled with laughter. Don’t forget to pick up chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers to make s’mores for dessert.

5. Go on a bike ride

Bicycle paths seem to be more abundant and more filled in the summertime. Make it even more memorable and romantic by renting a bicycle built for two! Remember to take photos, and of course, ask for permission before posting to Instagram or Facebook.

6. Take a Beach Yoga Class

Yoga is sexy on a date and saying you’re a yoga enthusiast will get more views and right swipes to your dating profiles.

Remember to bring your sunscreen and relax while you feel the connection with your date. 

If you don’t live near a beach, check out the many outdoor classes held in parks across the country.

7. Take a cooking Class

Cooking together is just sexy! Creating a dish together that you can make on a future date at home is considered a form of foreplay.

Stores such as Sur le Table nationwide have cooking classes on their calendar. If you can’t find one near you, check out the local universities and colleges or a MeetUp group for foodies.

8. Snack at the Food Trucks

Many neighborhoods have a food truck day. Find out which day or night they’ll be parked in your neighborhood.

From a vegan or healthy green truck to  spicy Mexican cuisine, there’s a favorite truck for every type of palate!

10. Go to a zoo

For G-rated petting fun, head to your local zoo to feed the animals.  Take it a step further and walk into the petting zoo and spend time with the llamas and sheep.

Remember to check with your date to see if they are allergic to animals.

Remember to memorialize your fun outdoor summer date by snapping photos. Who knows, you just might end up with a nice kiss at the end of the date to add to your digital memory book.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for online dating advice.

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She coaches singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs to help them find love IRL.

While most single men and women say they are looking for someone with a sense of humor, it’s on the list of clichés in a dating profile.

So how do you make your potential date laugh, respond to you, and show your sense of humor? There’s a fine line between being silly and goofy and looking like a complete clown.

Our friends at  Zoosk, polled a group of their members to find out EXACTLY which words got the most responses in the humor category. The published their findings on their dating advice blog, The Date Mix.

RELATED: Top Online Dating Profile Words in the U.S.

So laugh a little, say ha ha, add an LOL and add a hilarious photo with a caption if you’d like to show off your witty side. You don’t need to be a comedian if you have this cheat sheet handy.

So if you see something funny in someone’s profile, let them know it’s hilarious. If you can find a funny photo or add a joke to your message, this survey says you’ll 50% more messages! That’s worth more than just laughing about.

So add an emoticon, talk about your witty side and promise to laugh at their jokes.

For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. Julie was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles programs. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and ranks as the most influential person in “dating” and “online dating” in social media.