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National Get Over It Day: Time to Let Go Of Your Ex

LogoWhether you’re stuck on an ex, upset with your significant other, or still hurting from a recent breakup, it’s time to get over it.

March 9 is National Get Over It Day, so it’s the perfect time to let go of any anger, disappointment, hurt, rejection, or stress in your life – all of which can be caused by holding on to the scattered remains of an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

If you’re worried you might be the only one to ever get hung up on an ex, you’re not alone. National Get Over It Day was created by Jeff Goldblatt in 2005 after he was having a lot of trouble getting over his ex-girlfriend.

How can you get over your ex?

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we’re here to help with these 5 tips.

1. Spend Time With Friends

You may think being alone is the best way for you to deal with your feelings, but isolating yourself will only make it worse. Get out of bed, get your hair and nails done, go on a hike, and be with those who love you, regardless of your relationship status.  Acknowledge that you have feelings you need to talk about and ask a friend or your girlfriend network if they can spare some time to hear you out.

Related: 7 Signs the Way You’re Dealing With Your Breakup is Unhealthy

2. Find New Hobbies

Being active so that you’re not alone with your thoughts is important, but finding new hobbies and activities you can enjoy on your own is also a good idea. Instead of focusing on the things you did as a couple, find activities you can do on your own or with a close friend. Check out events on Facebook or MeetUp if you get stuck, but get out of the house to get over it.



3. Stay Off of Your Ex’s Social Media

Checking up on an ex is the one way to ensure you won’t get over them. There’s nothing wrong with seeing how they’re doing, but checking up on them constantly after a recent breakup has the potential to become obsessive and prevents you from healing. Facebook now allows you to minimize the feed of your former flame, without having to unfriend or block them.

Related: Facebook Eases the Digital Pain When You Break Up

4. If It Still Hurts, Go No Contact

Maybe you and your ex decided to stay friends and it’s too hard on you, or maybe they feel as if they really hurt you and keep checking in to make sure you’re okay out of guilt. This can potentially hinder your healing process, and if it does, let your ex know and ask them to stop communicating with you. Sometimes you have to cut someone out completely and go NC depending on the circumstances. It’s okay to block your ex if they persist on speaking with you, even if you’ve asked them not to do so.  Just tell them you’re doing it to avoid creating any more drama around the breakup.



5. Don’t Hide Your Pain

A breakup can be one of the toughest emotional hardships we go through. Don’t try to stifle your emotions. It’s perfectly normal to feel hurt and to spend time grieving over your breakup. The sooner you deal with your emotions surrounding the loss, the sooner you can move past it. They say time heals all wounds. While this is cliche, there’s nothing further from the truth. We’ve all been there and it really hurts, but know that it’s temporary. Who knows what the next chapter will unveil? It’s true that when one door closes, another opens.

Related: Dating Expert Guide to Breaking Up

Can’t figure out what you need to get over it? Goldblatt says “just ask your friends what they’re tired of hearing you complain about.” Yes, your friends will tell you the truth. Then, take the time to go online and dip a toe in one at a time. Someone special just might be waiting to meet you. When the time is right, you’ll know.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

twitter - Julie SpiraPerils of Cyber-Dating Audio Book CoverInstagram Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert, Mobile Dating Expert, and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating, and  was an early adopter of Internet dating, coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out how Irresistible Profiles will help you fill your date card to find your dream date.

Sign up for the free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox, along with the 7 Secrets to Finding Love Online.


Dating Profile Photos to Rock His World

Dating Found - HER

Turn to the left and smile? Sunglasses on, or off? Cleavage or cover up?

What are the best photos for your Irresistible online dating profile to capture his digital eye?

Finding the right photos for your online dating profile can be tough. Ladies, if you’ve ever wondered which photos are the best ones to put on your online dating profile, the guys have spoken up to state their faves.

In a recent online dating experiment by DatingFound, 3,570 single men were asked to rate the attractiveness of women’s Internet dating profiles, by rating their profile photos on a scale of 1 to 10.

Here’s how the photos ranked in popularity.

Showing Skin

Almost half of the men in the survey (41% ) said they liked to see a woman showing some flesh in her online dating profile. Women showing off cleavage by wearing low-cut tops and dresses in their profile pictures scored high for younger women. For those more mature in age, guys preferred to see a more conservative look, keeping a little mystery alive.

Even though pictures showing more skin result in more messages from digital crushes, you don’t want to look as  though that’s the only thing you have to offer. Remember – no bikini shots!

Happy Girls are a Complete Turn On

This survey found that 39% of men like the look of a woman who smiles in her profile pics.

Smiles can turn strangers into soulmates, so make sure you look happy in your profile photos. Happiness creates trust and approach-oriented behaviors in single men and increases your attractiveness.

Remember to flirt! A smiling profile picture is perfect because it appears as if you’re smiling at the viewer and men will respond enthusiastically.

Don’t Just Use Your Head Shots

Professional head shots look great in an online dating profile, but 11% of men like when a woman shows something they love. Appeal to men by putting your personality on display and show your fun side.

Take pictures that show your lifestyle. A shot of you reading a book, playing a guitar, cooking, golfing, yoga, or doing an activity you do regularly appeals to men.

Related: Creating an Irresistible Online Dating Profile Tips

Show Off Your Best (Left) Side

It’s been proven that we show more emotion from the left side of our face, and showing our left side in photos can create deeper resonance in those who view them.

Nine percent of men liked it  when a woman showed her left side in photos. Left-side photos are also more pleasing to the eye as they change up the viewing angle from a straight-on view.

P.S. This goes both ways, as women also liked viewing photos of men with their left side.

Which Photo Should You Show First?

You should have one of each of these photos on your profile to get the most possible messages from your matches.

  1. Start with a photo of you showing off a little skin to capture attention.
  2. Can you say cheese? Post smiling happy photos (both close up and full body).
  3. Fun photos with activities that you’re passionate about.
  4. Left side poses.

Which Photos Should You Never Use?

  1. Avoid sunglasses as it could appear that you’re hiding something. Let him see your sparkling eyes.
  2. Avoid group photos with your friends. Don’t confuse a guy by making him wonder who he will be meeting on the date.
  3. Ditch the selfies. Need we say more? You just don’t look your best and it sends the message that it’s all about you.
  4. Keep your pets out of your primary photo shot. Most of us love puppies and pets, but posting your first photo with your four-legged friend sends the message that your puppy sleeps in bed with you. Where’s the room for your new beau?

Related: Puppy Love: Dating Sites Match Pet Lovers

The full DatingFound infographic can be found here.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at

Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

JUST RELEASED: Our 2nd edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating is now available on Kindle and as an audio book, narrated by the author.

Listen to our book trailer here.

Confused: Is He Ghosting?

GhostingA popular topic unfortunately is the trend of ghosting. If you haven’t heard of the term, it’s when someone you’re dating, even someone who calls you their boyfriend or girlfriend just disappears, even when things appear to be going great between the two of you.

In today’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a woman writes:

Dear Julie:

We have been dating for a month, meeting almost everyday and calling it a real relationship. He even told his family and friends that he is dating me. We had a small argument over a stupid thing then he start ghosting me. I called him twice and sent text messages a few times. After our argument he posted our picture to Instagram.  Two days later, he removed it.

I am confused. I removed him from Facebook and Instagram but he he hasn’t removed me from his Instagram.

What happened?

Ghost Victim.

My reply to this unfortunate dating dilemma:

Dear Ghost Victim,

You’re not alone. Dating someone for only one month is just that; dating. When people are dating, they are often dating others and leaving their options open to possibly date multiple people until they decide to be exclusive.


Urban Dictionary’s top definition of dating is:

Dating: “Of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.”

Being on each other’s Facebook and Instagram accounts when you’re dating is common these days. It doesn’t mean you’re exclusive and it doesn’t mean it will last forever. What I don’t know in your case is what your argument was about, but if it turned him off, chances are he pulled back. He might be dating others, he might just need his space. But if he isn’t feeling good about the two of you, it’s understandable that he’d take photos of you down from Instagram, so other women won’t think he’s taken.

You’ve already reached out a few times. He hasn’t. My best advice to you is to fill your date card, right now. It’s good that you unfriended him on Facebook, but please DON’T stalk his instagram account. I always say, “Seek and ye shall find.” If you keep looking, you’ll probably see a photo of him and another woman, or him having fun somewhere without you.


One month is too soon for a couple to know if they’ll ride into the sunset together. Ghosting after one month is common, because the level of commitment isn’t there. It’s lazy and cowardly, but it’s the easy way out.

Go out and have fun with your friends. Accept dates. Stop looking on his social media to see what he’s up to. You can wonder why, but put it behind you. He’s just another guy who ghosted because he got spooked or isn’t feeling it anymore.

If he comes back, you might already be in the arms of a great guy who won’t bolt when there’s a bump in the road.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Do you need dating advice or have a question for Julie Spira? Submit your dating questions here.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet Dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

For personalized coaching, find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date and sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook



The Best Online Dating Tips – The Night Side

News Talk 1010It was an honor and joy to be a guest on the Night Side on News Talk 1010 in Toronto with guest host Tony Chapman.

In this fun-filled hour on the radio, we talked about the early days on Internet dating, how I became an online dating expert, tips on what makes a great online dating profile photo, why singles swipe right and left on Tinder and other mobile dating apps, niche dating sites such as ChristianMingle and JDate and ‘catfishing’ and more.

When asked why online dating works so well, with one out of three relationships starting online, I explained that Internet dating is efficient. It’s available 24-hours a day. You can be sitting at work one moment, get a push notification on your mobile phone and be on a coffee date within minutes.

Tony wondered why people sign up for dating sites when they can date on Facebook for free, and I chimed in that Facebook could be the world’s largest dating site, if they wanted to be.

Listen to this replay of our live broadcast for everything you need to know to be successful with online dating.

For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She  was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For help with your online dating profile check out and SwipingRight to help find your dream date.

4th of July Fireworks Special – Irresistible Dating Profiles

Fourth of July is around the corner, so if you’re feeling like your relationship status should be called a “dud” or if it’s really complicated, don’t accept your ho-hum love life. It’s time to ignite some fireworks and kick-off the summer holiday!

At Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, we’ve decided to help you ramp up your search with a wonderful 20% HOLIDAY Savings! But we’re only limiting this offer to TEN lucky people from now until Sunday night, July 5th.

Choose from these special packages:

SWIPING RIGHT – Let us optimize your Tinder or mobile dating profile. Are you tired of swiping with no matches? Perhaps you get matched but he or she won’t respond to your flirty email. We’re here to help speed that search.


THE FLIRT – Already have a dating profile, but need a quick critique? In our Flirt package, we’ll spend 45 minutes answering your questions and giving you advice on how to change your profile.


GOING STEADY – A brand new Irresistible Profile to attract your dream guy or girl. We do this with you live and interactively. If you’re profile is stale and you have an empty inbox, this package is for you!


TOTALLY IN LOVE – Our most POPULAR package includes a brand new Irresistible Profile PLUS 30 days of unlimited email/text support. We know the first 30 days with your brand new profile are the most important. We’re here to answer any questions from what to wear on your date to help you craft emails to doing a Digital Matchmaker search for you!


*Don’t wait as this offer is valid for the FIRST 10 People who sign up and will sadly expire on July 5th at midnight when the price will revert back to the regular rate.

Sign up now and let the next Cyber Love Story of the Week be your own.

*Coaching Packages are non-refundable

Online Dating Tips on Newstalk 1010, Julie Spira

Julie Spira - AM 1010How do you create an irresistible online dating profile and protect yourself from being a victim of a ‘Catfish?’

We tackled these questions and more in a radio interview on “The Night Side” on AM1010 in Toronto with Barb DiGiulio.

From word-count to safety; photos to emails; long-distance relationships and more, listen in to find out how you can be more successful with Internet dating.

Follow @JulieSpira for online dating advice.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has helped singles find love online for over 20 years. For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and visit

Brunettes Have More First Dates [infographic]

Match WellaIs it true that blondes have more fun?

Our friends at Match teamed up with Wella for a #LoveisintheHair survey to of online daters on Match to find out what the guys and gals had to say about women and their hair color and styles.

Check out this fun Infographic and maybe try a new hairstyle for your next date to mix it up.

Some of the key findings are:

  • Blondes have more long-term relationships.
  • Brunettes have more first dates.
  • Almost half of the women think that sleek and straight hair makes them feel more confident.
  • Almost half of the single men found women with curly hair to be more irresistible
  • 1/4 of single men find women with straight-sleek hair to be more wife-worthy
  • 1/4 of single men find women with hair in braids to be more sporty

Does this mean you need to run to the hair salon and change your color and style? I say no. The number one attraction to a man will always be confidence, so ladies…smile be confident, be happy both on the Internet and offline and he’ll be enjoying his date with you.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for online dating advice.

Click here for 20% off your membership to Match membership and let us help you create your irresistible online dating profile.

Online Dating: January is the Busiest Time of the Year

Online Dating 2015It’s here! The first Sunday of the New Year, which brings more activity to online dating sites than any other day of the year. (Read below for some interesting statistics).

From New Year’s resolutions including joining a gym, to joining an online dating site to find love in 2015 tops the list for many singles. Are you ready to join the world’s largest digital dating party?

Think about it. Some relationships ran their course and couples broke up before the holidays. Others hung in there until New Year’s and realized they were in a relationship that wouldn’t go the distance. Some singles made the decision after having another holiday alone that they’d make a better effort to find their soul mate.

While Sunday is known to be a busy day for logins on Internet dating sites, the first Sunday of the year is the busiest day for new members to take action with their love lives.

  • According to PlentyofFish, 5pm, EST will break all the records with the most number of singles online at one time on the first Sunday of the year.
  • POF adds that singles that sign up in January are 15% more likely to meet a significant other and that it will take single men approximately 10 weeks to meet a significant other and it will take single women approximately 8 weeks to couple up.
  • The folks at agree that January 4th is the busiest day of the year for their site. Match reports a 38% increase in membership from December 26th through February 14th.

So whether you’re swiping right on Tinder or your mobile app or logging on to see your daily matches and who has viewed your profile, one thing is for sure. If you’re single and want to connect, you must have a digital dating strategy to help you stand out in the crowded playground.

Here are five tips for online dating in the New Year

  1. Change your Photos. I’m a big believer that a picture tells 1000 words. If you have the budget to hire a photographer, have him or her take photos of you in your natural environment. It’s an expense that might help you find your dream date.
  2. Create a New Catchy Screen Name. If you’re on a site which allows you to have a screen name or user name other than your first name, come up with something unique that describes your personality. Using your name and zip code isn’t very original or catchy. Some great names include anything athletic such as LovestoSki or YogaLover to anything artistic such as MusicLover or Drummer4U.
  3. Ask questions! Writing an online dating profile can be as bland as writing your resume while you’re job hunting. The difference is, you need to create an opportunity to open a dialog with your potential date. Describe things that you’d like to do together with someone as a couple and ask a question such as, I enjoy hiking in the Santa Monica Canyon. Have you ever been?
  4. Be proactive. They say the squeaky wheel gets the deal in business, but what about online? Too many women are afraid to contact a man because they think they will appear needy or desperate. I say, toss out those old rules. Men are flattered when they receive an email from a woman, so don’t wait, initiate.
  5. Be engaged. Whether you’re looking for a ring on your finger or just a date for Friday night, the more active that you are online, the more likely your profile will be raised to the top. Many sites give you tools to search for dates, opportunities to “like” photos, and send you emails with potential matches. The more you use these tools, the greater chance you have to fill up your date card.

If you need some help, our signature Irresistible Profiles and personalized dating coaching programs just might be exactly what you’re looking for in the New Year. We’ve helped singles around the world find love and look forward to helping you while looking for love online.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, having created her first profiles over 20 years ago. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Cyber Monday – Free Irresistible Dating Profile Critique

Cyber Monday

Welcome to our Cyber Monday special at Cyber-Dating Expert.

This year, we’re making Cyber Monday so irresistible, that we’re providing 15 Magic Minutes of critiquing your dating profile, LIVE for FREE!.

That’s right. There’s no road rage, trampling on people in parking lots or getting out your credit card. We know the holidays are tough, so on Monday, December 1st and Tuesday, December 2nd, sign up for our 15 Magic Minutes and schedule your free session to review your profile.

If you’re new to online dating, take that time to talk about your dating dilemmas for free. If you need some extra hand holding, we’re offering 25% off our popular Internet dating packages including The Flirt, Going Steady, and Totally in Love.

To schedule your free session via phone or Skype, sign up below. This is limited to those who sign up on December 1st and 2nd, 2014 and sessions will take place during the month of December, 2014. Offer available to new clients only.

Thank you for signing up for our Cyber Monday special offer of a FREE online dating profile critique! We offer this irresistible special only once a year, so hurry before this offer expires on December 2, 2014 at midnight!

To schedule us, please fill out the contact form below. We’re also offering 25% off our Irresistible Coaching programs.

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What are you waiting for? Sometimes the best things in life are free.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and was an early adopter of Internet dating. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Help: My Boyfriend Won’t Take his Tinder Profile Down

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowDear Cyber-Dating Expert

I met my boyfriend on Tinder about 6 weeks ago and we decided to date exclusively after three weeks. Neither of us took our Tinder profiles down, but he wasn’t logging on to his and I was still logging on out of curiosity to see who was on Tinder, but not chatting with anyone.

After a week of him giving me grief for having an active Tinder profile, I finally took his down and showed him the screen shot of me doing so. I thought he’d be excited to hear the news, but instead, he decided to keep his profile up.

Now, I’m the unhappy one, as I can’t understand why he’d make me take my profile down while he’s still an active member of Tinder. I’m starting to get frustrated and am wondering if we should break up. Every time I see him staring at his mobile phone, I think he’s looking for another girlfriend. What do you think?

Tinder Frustrated.

Dear TF,

There are a lot of singles who are in relationships who are still attached to their Tinder mobile dating app. Since it’s known as a social discovery app, many people are chatting with potential friends. Even a man recently posted a profile as a golden retriever dog to chat with people. I can understand that since you met on Tinder, that you should both probably have removed your profiles at the same time. It’s not fun being pressured to take your profile down when your boyfriend won’t do the same in return for you. Sure you should have toasted together and pulled the plug on your profiles at the same time, but since that didn’t happen, ask your BF how he would feel if suddenly you put your profile back up on Tinder.

Chances are he won’t be that happy about it, but if he says he doesn’t mind, it might be time to start dating others and reactivate your profile. During this time, you can still date your BF, but let him know you’re no longer exclusive. Which means, I suggest you keep your clothes on until both of you are on the same digital page. While it might seem harsh and hard to turn back the wheel, you’ll know where you stand in your relationship.

Keep me posted. Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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