3 Online Profile Photos To Avoid This Valentine’s Day

Valentine's Day

As we get closer to Valentine’s Day, we’ve got you armed for everything including finding a date, selecting a gift, date ideas that are affordable, and how to create an Irresistible online dating profile.

Speaking of profiles, Cyber-Dating Expert friend, Michelle G., CRS® has some fabulous advice in her guest post: 3 Online Profile Photos to Avoid This Valentine’s Day.

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With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s a great reason to give your online dating profile a mini-digital makeover. The rise in photo-centric and location-based dating apps reveals that singles prefer the story your photos tell about you to reading your written answers.

Here are the 3 biggest profile mistakes when uploading photos to your online dating profile:

1. The Bathroom Mirror Selfie

Nothing screams, “I’m lonely” louder than taking a picture of yourself in a cloudy bathroom mirror right before you head out for the night. It says, “I have no one who can take a decent picture of me,” plus it looks tacky and lazy.

MG Tip: If you’re going to take a selfie, use a selfie stick! Worried about a round face? Hold your phone vertically for a slimming effect. Have a long and angular face? Shooting a self on landscape mode (or holding the phone horizontally) will highlight your most flattering features.

2. The Cropped-Out Ex

They’re your “ex” for a reason! Singles aren’t interested in seeing you with a past flame. Instead, they want to see the possibility of being a part of your life on their own two feet and without being blamed for past baggage.

MG Tip: If you’re looking through your phone for what photos to use without your ex or without a bunch of friends around you, it’s time to invest into a personal photoshoot.

3. The Inside Joke

If you have to use a descriptive caption to tell the story of a picture, then that photo doesn’t need to be on your profile. Your photos shouldn’t require an explanation; they should be a glimpse into your lifestyle and adventures. There is a right time to be witty, but that time isn’t with your photo gallery.

MG Tip: The best types of photos are ones that show your open body language and a flirty smile. The key is for you to look approachable, even through your tablet’s screen!

According to a recent research study, you have approximately 3-6 seconds before a match makes a decision about whether to engage with you. Let your photos enhance your online profile; not take away from it.

About Michelle G.

Michelle G is a Certified Dating and Relationship Specialist (CRS)® and the author of the #1 best selling book, Relationship SOS: Seven Lifelines to Rescue Your Emotional Intimacy Now. She is passionate about helping singles and couples answer the question, “How can I have the relationship I’m looking for?”… Michelle and her team focus on helping singles find the love of their lives through profile writing services and her online coaching programs. Her mission is to teach singles and couples the best practices for having healthy relationships–including the one you have with yourself.

Michelle is frequently featured in the media as a dating & relationships expert, and her articles have been featured in the Huffington Post, Singles Warehouse, and other national publications.

FOLLOW @AskMichelleG on Twitter

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

Photo credits: Fotolia

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12 Best Mobile Apps For 8 Different Dating Goals

Irish Independend We know that everyone is looking for something different when it comes to matters of the heart.

With that in mind, there is no one-size-fits-all formula or perfect dating site for everyone and the average mobile dating app user is active on 3.5 mobile dating apps!

When reporter Chrissie Russell interviewed me as the dating expert for a special Valentine’s issue of the Irish Independent’s weekend magazine, I provided a list on how people can find the right dating website or app for them. The feature is called “Finding the Most Appealing Dating Technology.”

If you can’t pick up a copy of the magazine, here are some highlights that were featured.

Dating Apps for Different Relationship Goals

1. The Young Professional: Match is a great choice because of the large amount of members worldwide. You can search by his or her profession and list your profession in your profile choices. Hinge is a dating app geared towards young professionals and recently they eliminated the swiping feature to differentiate them from Tinder. Now they’re calling themselves, the relationship app.

2. Someone a Bit Cynical About Online Dating and Apps: If you’re cynical, have some fun with some niche dating apps such as Bristlr for women who fancy men with facial hair, Align to match you based on astrology, or Gluten Free Singles for the gluten-fee intolerant.

3. Someone Just Looking for Fun: Tinder started out with most of the users swiping right to hook up. Now they say 80% of their members are looking for a meaningful relationship. Read the mini bios on the profiles to see if you should swipe right or left to find someone fun to hang out with.

4. Someone Who Wants Companionship: Many sites and apps will help you find friends. The Bumble app has a BFF feature, where you can switch from looking for a relationship, to looking for a friend to hang out with for a non-dating experience. They call it switching to the friend zone. OkCupid also gives you a choice of searching for New Friends, Casual-Dating, Long-Term Dating, or Casual Sex. Happn is a great app, because it matches you based on who you’ve crossed paths with, as they are a geo-location app.

5. Someone Divorced or Widowed and a Bit Apprehensive of Online Dating: If you’re starting over and don’t want to be bombarded with cubs looking for cougars and might want to meet someone more serious, eHarmony, a name that’s been around since 2000 would be the way to go. They allow you to take your time in communicating with potential dates.

6. Someone Sporty Who Wants to Avoid the Bar Scene: Avoiding the bar scene is high on a lot of singles’ lists. Any site or app that has a chat feature would be good to have a virtual drink date. You can both grab a glass of bubbly or your favorite spirit and chat. If you’re a workout fanatic,, try the new Sweatt app for fitness enthusiasts.

7. Gay or Bi-Curious: Grindr was the original app for gay men, but these days many sites allow you to search based on your sexual preferences. Check out OkCupid, where in the drop down menu of your profile you can state if you’re Straight, Gay, or Bi-sexual. Click the more button and you’ll find a wider selection including Asexual, Demisexual, Heteroflexible, Homosexual, Lesbian, Pansexual, Queer, Questioning, and Sapiosexual. That’s a pretty full menu. Tinder just added a new gender feature, which includes transgender relationships.

8. Someone Not Very Good with Technology: For those technically challenged, they won’t be happy with any site. I suggest they enlist the help of a dating coach with experience in this area. A recent PEW research study showed that 30% of women had someone write their profiles. If you really can’t stomach logging on and swiping right, find a professional who can do this. As one who’s been been coaching singles for over 20 years, I do the work for many busy CEOs, or technically challenged singles, to be their digital wing woman. It solves the goal of meeting someone, while not having to be attached to the push notifications on your cell phones.

About Julie:

Julie Spira is the world’s top online and mobile dating expert. As an early adopter of the Internet, Julie has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and ranks as the most influential person in social media in the categories of “dating” and “online dating.” Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and is the go-to person in the media, having appeared in over 1000 stories on the intersection of dating and technology. She was the winner of the 2017 iDate Awards for Best Dating Coach. She’s also listed as one of the top 10 columnists to follow on Twitter.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

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Match Adds New ‘Missed Connections’ Feature

Now you can mind more ways of meeting people around you on your mobile app.

As announced on the Match blog, their new location-based feature, “Missed Connections” will help the 55% of singles that feel technology has made it more difficult to connect with others in real life. Match wants to reverse this trend by harnessing technology to do what people want to do naturally—meet in real life.

Match, who won the Best Dating Site of the Year at the iDate awards, just announced their new feature, with the intent of beineg less creepy that the old Craig’s List “Missed Connections, and similar to Happn’s app, which is solely based on matching you with people you’ve crossed paths with.

This new feature on Match will help you fill your date card with singles, AFTER you’ve crossed paths at the same place.

The trend of meeting IRL is important to dating apps and sites, to avoid ghosting, breadcrumbing, or just chatting without meeting IRL.

Match Missed Connections

How Missed Connections Works

Match members will see a Missed Connections introduction page in the app, showing off the feature and asking you to opt-in.
Once you’ve opted in, you’ll be able to browse through your recent feed of members you’ve crossed paths with, based on your current matching criteria and your location.
The feature now makes geolocation THE priority in your search criteria, revealing the intersection points for your last crossed spot, within one block (such as Prince and Broadway) and the number of times a person has crossed paths with you.
Missed Connections now makes it easy to start up a conversation, right within the feed, providing a natural alibi to connect with someone else.

Match’s CEO Mandy Ginsberg tells Mashable,

“While we all love to know as much as we can about potential mates, this isn’t just about giving you more information. The whole point is starting these relationships out in the real world.”

Missed Connections helps you meet the person who hangs out at the same coffee shop or dog park; someone with similar interests.

With the trend of meeting IRL and taking the relationships offline in 2017, we have high hopes for this feature, but remember, just because you like the same place, doesn’t remove the safety element you should always adhere to when meeting someone from offline, online.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the recipient of the Best Dating Coach of 2017 and has been coaching singles with her Irresistible Dating Profiles programs for over two decades.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram, LIKE us on Facebook, and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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#DatingSunday – Jan. 8th is the Busiest Day for Online Dating

The world’s largest digital love fest is about to happen. Make sure your iphones, computers, and tablets are fully charged, as the biggest surge for online dating sites is around the corner.

Get ready to swipe on your SmartPhones because Dating Sunday, the busiest day for most dating sites and newly singles will be on Sunday, January 8th. This is where millions of singles will be swiping and logging in for love all around the same time.

Traditionally, around the first of the year, many New Year’s resolutions include finding love or at least trying to meet someone to hang out with. For this reason, or the fact that many singles had a lackluster holiday, the number of people be joining online dating sites and mobile dating apps hits record numbers in January.

In fact, our friends at Match have an EXACT time on Dating Sunday that their usage will peak, BIG TIME. The world’s largest dating site expects 8:49pm/eastern time to be the busiest minute of the entire year.

Are you ready for the world’s largest digital dating party?

Match tells us that they expect to see a 42% spike in new singles coming to the site to meet someone on #DatingSunday. During their peak dating season (Christmas to Valentine’s Day), they estimate that more than 50 million messages will be sent, 5 million new photos will be uploaded, and one million dates will take place.

Our friends at Tinder concur that Dating Sunday, the second Sunday in January, will show a 12% spike in users and downloads. Already on Sunday, January 1st, Tinder saw one of the biggest days of usage ever, so singles will be swiping in record numbers on their mobile dating app. Plus, Tinder says that 80% of their users are now looking for a meaningful relationship. Say goodbye to hookups and hello to love, for many.

Over at PlentyofFish, singles are looking for their perfect catch. POF reports that they received over 18 million first time signups during 2016 and expect approximately 103,910 in new signups on Dating Sunday. That’s about a 48% increase above their average daily rate from 2016. Plus, they expect 2.5 million sign ups in January alone.

Remember, Sunday nights are always peak times for online dating activity, so take advantage of the surge in active members online and swipe right and reply to those emails and meet IRL.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, our phone has been ringing and the text messages have been flying. We know that it’s peak season now through Valentine’s Day, so grab your smartphone and download the latest mobile dating apps and get ready to fill your date card!

Yes indeed, everyone will be looking for love in 2017.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Need a little hand holding? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles dating coaching programs can help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of online dating, has been coaching singles for over 20 years on how to find love on the Internet. Julie’s been named a Finalist for the 2017 iDate Awards for Best Dating Coach of the Year.

Let’s Get Social!

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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New Year’s Dating Resolutions for 2017

Happy New Year in love

We’re getting ready for 2017 and many of you are so done with 2016. It was a bumpy road for relationships, life, love, politics, loss of musical geniuses, and more.

For those who have the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions, here’s some wise dating advice to add to your list.

Before you say, “bah humbug,” if your holiday was filled with Aunt Sally asking about your relationship status, or your friends changing theirs to the point that you slammed your computer shut and deleted all mobile dating apps, now’s the time, before New Year’s for singles who dreaded the holiday and are ready for a new beginning. So along with the new diet and gym membership, joining a dating site and hiring a dating coach has become a BIG priority. In fact, the phone is ringing off the hook and we are getting booked solid the first week of the new year for new Internet dating profiles, so get ready for the ride!

Match Predicts Dating Sunday on January 8th

Our friends at Match have told us that they predict Dating Sunday to be held on Sunday, January 8th, where it’s expected to be the BUSIEST day of the year for new online dating signups at 8:49pm/ET.

During this time, Match reports they plan to see a 42% spike in new singles coming to the site to meet someone. Dating Sunday falls within Match’s Peak Season, which is going on RIGHT NOW and spans from December 26th to February 14th, where they expect to see these enormous numbers:

More than 50 million messages sent
5 million new photos being uploaded
1 million dates taking place

PlentyofFish Predict Dating Sunday to be on January 1st

Our friends over at PlentyOfFish tell us that their busiest day of the year will be a week earlier on Sunday, January 1st. POF expects signups expected to reach an extraordinary 110,546, a 48% increase above the average daily rate in 2016.

Yes indeed, everyone will be looking for love in 2017.

POF’s stats illustrate a changing dating landscape, with more singles than ever trying online dating for the first time. 2016 saw 18,176,325 first-time PlentyOfFish signups, and over half a billion conversations between members (600,325,016, to be exact).

Signups on PlentyOfFish will peak at 2pm PST on Sunday, January 1, 2017
Sunday, January 8th, will be the second busiest for PlentyOfFish, with an expected 103,910 signups
Projected PlentyOfFish signups for January 2017 are expected to exceed 2.5 million

So how do you jump on the digital love bandwagon?

Our Irresistible Profiles Coaching programs come in a variety of levels, from Going Steady, a profile critique to Totally in Love, with a brand new profile and 30 days of unlimited text/email support, to our VIP Digital Matchmaker plan for the most serious of singles, which includes a new profile and 10 private coaching sessions.

So get out of fear mode, stop ghosting, stop swiping without meeting IRL, and come to the digital party with all the tools you need for a happy and loving 2017.

Make it your New Year’s resolution to live your life with authenticity –Online, offline, and where ever you may swipe or roam.

If you need some help in getting started with your online dating profile, contact us and we’ll help you create that IRRESISTIBLE Profile to help you stand out among the millions of online daters.

Julie Spira is a dating coach and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter, where you’ll also be able to download for free the 7 Secrets to Finding Love Online.

Wishing you much love and joy in 2017.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for Dating Advice

P.S. We are SO EXCITED to be a finalist for Best Dating Coach in the iDate Awards. Please vote for us to win at idateawards.com so we can come home with a trophy to be proud of.

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#MusicMonday Quote of the Day

Happy Music Monday. As we start a new week, it’s time to put the digital DJ hat on and share a musical quote from the bankd UB40 about love to warm your heart.

Music Monday

“Love is a thing, well, it’s kid of like quicksand: The more you are in it, the deeper you sink. And when it hits you, you’ve just got to fall.”

Don’t be afraid of falling into quicksand. Open your heart. It isn’t a lifetime sentence, but could be a lifetime of happiness coming your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on Twitter and Instagram

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles programs will help you find your dream date and read our many client testimonials.

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Top Online Dating Profile Words in U.S.

What do you learn from joining 21 online dating sites? This in-depth study of a list of the top online dating profile words used by single daters in major cities in the U.S. was a huge project to take on.

In Business Insider, writer Dana Varinsky details the research from artist, composer, professor of digital media and now a well-versed online dater R. Luke Dubois to highlight the top dating profile words in ten cities. Varinsky downloaded 19 million dating profiles, so we know he didn’t go on a dating frenzy, but the results of his research are a digital eye-opener.

So if you’re planning on changing your zip code, check this article out.

Varinsky downloaded dating profiles and created graphs of the following cities:

Los Angeles, CA – Lingerie, Booty, Spanking, Screenwriter
Washington, DC – Paraguay, Estonia, Kashmiri, Political, Journalist, Socially
Boston, MA – People, Drinks, Laugh, Sox
New York, NY – Now, Taxi, Photography, Brunch, Hipsters, Urbane, DJ,
Houston, TX – Rich
San Francisco, CA – Bisexual, Homosexual, Lesbian, Queer, Robot, Digitized
Detroit, MI – Automotive, Machine, GM, Graduating, Companionship, Dope
Anchorage, AK – Outdoorsy, Nippy, Berries, Corsair
Jackson, MS – Conservative, Cornbread, Baptist
Chicago, IL – Companionate, Gravitated

According to Business Insider, Dubois used 10 computers and took three months to compile his data in a project called, “A More Perfect Union.” In essence, he created his own online dating version of singles based using keywords from profiles instead of the cities in the U.S. Census report.

While some of these might not surprise you, others might just make you want to change your zip code.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for two decades. Julie’s the author of the bestseller The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

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Tinder Tales on The Tomorrow Show

If you missed our live stream on The Tomorrow Show with Kevin Undergaro on AfterBuzz TV, we tackled the subject of how difficult it can be while dating, using mobile dating apps, and finding a meaningful relationship.

In this segment, we were joined by several single daters with stories that will have you ROTFL.

I chimed in on what the daters were doing wrong and critiqued some online and mobile dating profiles.

Without further digital ado, and before swiping left or swiping right on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or more, watch our segment below for lessons and laughter of #TinderTales.

The dating segment starts at 1:07 below.

Spoiler alert: The best story was saved for last.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 2 decades. Julie’s Swiping Right program helps singles make the most of their Tinder profiles, regardless of their dating goals.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

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They’re Engaged! – Steven and Melissa

They're Engaged - Cyber Dating Expert Meet Steven and Melissa who met offline, but quickly fell in love and started seeing each other almost every day. After a month and a half of dating, Melissa ended their relationship, thinking he might not be the right person to be a father figure for her three children. Steven was heartbroken.

To make matters worse, Melissa ghosted Steven and stopped returning his calls and texts, unfriended him on Facebook and went her own way.

Steven was convinced that she was ‘the one’ and reached out to us while looking for a dating coach and expert to help get his girlfriend back. While no one can wave a magic wand and make someone return to their ex, we knew we could take a stab at it and came up with a strategy in our Irresistible Dating Coaching program for Steven to give it one last try.

Flash forward three months and the couple got back together and Steven proposed marriage to Melissa. Melissa said YES!

We are so thrilled to have helped this couple reunite after the ghosting episode and they are excited about their future together.

In Steven’s words, “Everything is wonderful and I want to thank you for everything. We’re madly in love and I couldn’t be happier.”

Congratulations to Steven and Melissa on your engagement. We wish you much love and joy in this new chapter of your life.

For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Find out how our Irresistible Profiles and Irresistible Coaching programs will help you find your dream date.

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