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The Upward Trend of Older Women Dating Younger Men – Today Show

It was an honor and joy to be back on the Today Show with Maria Shriver, where we talked about the upward trend of older women dating younger men. The segment featured three couples where the women were between six and 20 years older than their partners.

While each couple’s journey was different, all three couples are thriving in committed long-term relationships where the men made the first move.

Women in Hollywood With Younger Men 

Since Hollywood couples have been making the headlines for decades, now the boy or girl next door is finding love across the generations.

Celebrities are leading the way with Kris Jenner, 25 years older than Corey Gamble; Madonna at 63, whose boyfriend is a Millennial at 37 years younger; and Heidi Klum, who married Tom Kaulitz with a 16-year difference. 

I told Maria that women are dating like men now. Women are dating what men have done since the beginning of time, without batting an eyelash. Women are successful in careers both as executives and entrepreneurs, so they weren’t necessarily looking for someone with an equal bank statement balance. 

Watch the full segment on Today.com

I explained that age is no longer a barrier to love. I also noticed from my female coaching clients that they preferred to date younger guys given a choice. These women expressed they felt they’d like to meet someone who could keep up with them actively or didn’t want to take care of an older man.

On our site Dating in the Age of COVID-19, our ongoing survey shows that 83% of singles are looking for a meaningful relationship,, and during the lockdown, age and zip codes are tossed out the window. Everyone was dating virtually, and in a sense, in a long-distance relationship. 

Watch Julie on the Today Show

Since the segment aired, I’ve heard from so many couples who shared their loving age-gap difference stories, and I’m touched by all of them.

Do you think the age stigma has dissipated? How much younger or older in age are you willing to date? 

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s an award-winning dating coach who’s been helping singles find love for over 25 years.

Follow @JulieSpira on Instagram and SIGN UP for the Digital Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your Inbox.

Google Trends Reports Searches for Dating Reach 5-Year High as Dating Apps Spike This Summer

Google Trends Reports Dating App Search Surge

For many years, the most popular search term on Google was, “What is love?”

Singles who desire to fall in love and understand the complicated relationship stages are still actively searching for answers online. As reported by NPR,  during the summer of love, Google Trends has seen a spike in dating related searches.

Google Trends Reports Dating Apps Surge

 

On the Google Trends Twitter feed, the social media giant posted their findings, including a 3,400% spike in usage for “top dating apps” in the past month. Baby boomers are joining in, with searches as “dating apps for older people” also rose by 3,500%. 

Google Trends Dating Apps

In Washington, DC, the top search overall on Google was “How to Date” during the second week of July of 2021.

Dating Apps Feel the Love

Dating apps served as an essential tool for singles to connect during COVID-19 lockdowns. Now that it’s safe for singles who are vaccinated to make up for lost time at home, they’re flocking to dating apps with the hope of meeting someone special.

Dana Balch, a Tinder spokesperson, told NPR, their location-based dating app has seen some of its most extensive days of swiping this year.

“I think this is really coming from a place where people want to connect with others during a time when they’ve felt isolated,” she told NPR.

Vaccinations are the New Sexy

Dating apps are providing ways to include your vaccination status on your profiles. Whether you decide to put it front and center and post that you’ve been double-vaccinated, add a vaccinated badge on your OkCupid profile, or decide to list your Covid-Dating Preferences on Bumble, the vaccination conversation is a hot topic and helps singles feel safe.

Google Trends - Bumble Covid Preferences

RELATED POST: Dating Apps Partner With White House to Get More Singles Vaccinated

Between the summer heat, covid-vaccinated singles, and outdoor concerts and events, singles are ramping up their dating skills and are ready for love. Singles looking for love are also enlisting the help of dating coaches to make sure they make a great first impression.

If you need some help getting back out there this summer, find out how our Irresistible Profiles coaching program will help you find your dream date. 

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 25 years. Follow @JulieSpira on Instagram and Twitter for dating advice.

OkCupid and Match Apps Partner with White House to Help Singles Get More Matches if Vaccinated

If you’re looking for love advice post-COVID-19, look no further than the White House.

In a White House Covid-19 Response briefing on May 21, viewers heard the importance of getting a Covid vaccine if they’re looking for love online.

White House COVID-19 advisor Andy Slavitt said, “According to one of the sites, OkCupid, people who display their vaccine status are 14% more likely to get a match. We have finally found the one thing that makes us more attractive — a vaccination.”

Starting on Monday, May 24, 2021, OkCupid will launch their “I’m Vaccinated” profile badge and will be able to search for other vaccinated singles within OkCupid’s stacks. OkCupid reports the phrase “I’m Vaccinated” was mentioned in daters’ profiles 1,400% more in May of 2021, as compared to January when the vaccine first started rolling out.

In a press release, Match group’s CEO, Shar Dubey, said, “We are honored to work with the White House on increasing Vaccinations across America, which will allow people to once again meet in person and engage in meaningful ways. This will make dating safer for everyone, everywhere.”

Along with various vaccination profile badges, other Match Group apps, including Tinder, will provide users with “I’m Vaccinated” or “Vaccines Save Lives” stickers to add to their profile. The Match app will add a “Vaccinated” badge, Hinge will give users a free “Rose,” Plenty of Fish will release an “I Got My Shot” badge, along with free Live” credits to live stream with an online date, BLK will add a “Vaxified” badge, and Chispa will add a “Vacunado” profile badge.

Tinder, Match, Plenty of Fish, Hinge, BLK, Chispa will also be rewarding singles who are vaccinated with free Super Likes and Boosts to help them appear more frequently in searches.

The vaccinated campaigns will run through the Fourth of July.

Other apps, including Bumble and Badoo, will be offering vaccination badges to help create COVID vaccine awareness.

It’s time to kick COVID to the curb as we welcome the summer of love and dating safely for those who are ready to date IRL again.

Take our Poll on Dating in the Age of COVID-19

Julie Spira is America’s Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s an award-winning dating coach who’s been helping singles on finding love online for over 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Instagram and Twitter for dating advice.  

 

Dating Sunday 2021 – The Best Day of the Year to Find Love Online

Dating Sunday

 

The year 2020 will go down as one of the most challenging and gut-wrenchingly painful years in history with COVID-19 at heightened levels on New Year’s Eve, but it turned out to be one of the most active years for singles looking for love online.

The New York Times reports singles who are quarantining are proposing, and engagement ring sales are up, and OkCupid predicts more than 15 million new conversations around Dating Sunday this year, with 25 million new matches expected in January alone. 

Virtual dating took center stage as we zoomed and FaceTimed our way to navigate love.

Today, on Dating Sunday, 2021, the activity level for singles on dating apps is expected to hit record numbers, and you won’t want to miss this worldwide digital party.

What is Dating Sunday?

Every year, the first Sunday after the New Year is the day where singles who decided to put finding love at the top of their resolutions list, log on looking for love. For those who rang in the New Year solo, had a recent breakup, or have Valentine’s Day on their minds, Dating Sunday is the day where your digital dreams can come true. 

Due to the pandemic, I’ve found the perspective on finding a meaningful relationship is magnified.  Many of us are still stuck at home with travel and fine dining on the back burner, so today’s the day to revise your dating profile, add a few photos of your socially-distanced walks, post one with your favorite mask, and get ready to start chatting.

Our ongoing poll on DatingintheAgeofCovid19.com shows that 82% of singles want a long-term relationship more than ever. 

Dating in the Age of COVID-19

Tonight, you might even want to dress up from the waist up, with the likelihood of your conversation moving to an impromptu video date. (Hint: Keep lipstick handy). 

The most active time to be online is approximately 9pm, local time. 

With this in mind, here’s how to master Dating Sunday.

  • Update Your Profile  – Last year’s story shouldn’t follow you into 2021. By showing that you’re active now, it sends the message that you’re taking finding love seriously. If you’re listing vacations or group events, it’s time to update your profile to show you’re dating responsibly and have high hopes for the New Year.

 

  • Reach Out and Connect – Don’t play the waiting game. Initiate contact first, respond quickly, and even reconnect with someone where the conversation faded in 2020. It’s still a good time to wish someone you previously chatted with a “Happy New Year,” because we could all use some joy and happiness right now.

 

  • Use Spell-Check and Grammar Check Sloppy messages that say, “Hey,” won’t cut it. You’re home, and you have time to craft the perfect five-sentence message. Remember to ask a question so that you can create a dialog and develop a flirty rapport.

 

  • Create a Fun Virtual Background – Dating should be fun, and both you, and your surroundings need to look your best. Find a virtual background that matches your personality, and if you prefer a virtual date on the fly, make sure your surroundings are free of clutter. Bumble reports in-app video calls increased by 70% since March, so you can easily chat within their platform.

 

  • Know Your Intentions – A new year is the time to take inventory on the type of relationship you truly desire.  If someone’s profile states they’re looking for something casual, swipe left if your goal is to find a serious relationship or marriage.  It’s time to toss the crumbs in the trash, because wasting your time with someone who doesn’t have the same relationship goals will prevent you from having the amazing love you deserve. 

Put a smile on your face, and think about some of the positive activities you experienced in 2020 to share with someone new. From binge-watching Schitt’s Creek to taking a painting class or bike riding, it’s time to push the restart button with the help of your mobile phone. 

The Match Group saw a 40% increase in usage on Dating Sunday last year and Coffee Meets Bagel saw a 60% spike in new sign ups on Dating Sunday in 2020. Tonight is show time. It’s the “Super Bowl” of dating, leading up to Valentine’s Day.

If you need some hand-holding, find out how our Irresistible Profiles and VIP Digital Matchmaker programs can help you find love online in the new year. 

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. 

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 25 years. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram. Sign up for the FREE Digital Flirt Newsletter. 

Voting is Sexy. OkCupid Says “I Voted” is the New “I Love You.”

OkCupid Voting Report

With the combustive election cycle heading into high gear, you have to be living under a rock to avoid the topic of politics.

In fact, not having an opinion can hurt your chances of finding a date or a romantic partner, according to a new report from OkCupid.

The site reports that politics continues to be the top deal-breaker in dating, with 76% of singles saying how their date leans is vital to them.

According to the OkCupid Voter 2020 report, 500,000 people responded they could not date someone who didn’t vote, with 85% of registered voters more likely to receive a message from a potential date, and 63% of registered voters more likely to get matched.

OkCupid Registered Voters

“Now more than ever, daters want to connect with people who share their values,” says Ariel Charytan, OkCupid’s CEO. “We have always empowered people to match on what matters to them, and our millions of daters across the United States overwhelmingly prioritize civic engagement when it comes to finding someone they are compatible with.”

RELATED: Love at the Polls: Close to 90% Won’t Date Someone Who Didn’t Vote

To help single daters during this gut-wrenching and unprecedented time, OkCupid has created a new voter badge that will automatically be added to members’ profiles if they answer the question, “Are you registered to vote in the 2020 election?”

OkCupid voter badge

This voter badge shows you care about this divisive country we’re living in. By including this badge, along with a previously released badge for Black Lives Matter displayed on your profile, is, in my opinion, a magnet for love.

Singles who say they aren’t registered to vote will soon be redirected to a page on OkCupid in partnership with “When We All Vote,” to register to vote in real-time. The WWAV initiative was launched by Michelle Obama, Tom Hanks, Lin Manuel-Miranda, and Janelle Monae, among others, to help singles register to vote in the 2020 election.

Love is at stake, and now is the time to show your values to connect with someone during this critical and historic election.

If the pandemic and civil unrest haven’t widely opened your eyes, perhaps OkCupid’s state-by-state interactive map will show how singles feel about serious issues of families separated at the border, prison reform, climate change, and stricter gun control. At least they’ll give you topics of conversation to discuss when you match with your date.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you swipe and roam leading to election day.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author and creator of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships, and has been helping singles navigate love for over 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Instagram and Twitter.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Dating During the Pandemic – Julie Spira on NBC Today in LA

 

On NBC Today in LA, I was a guest with Daniella Guzman and Jonathan Gonzalez to talk about quarantine love and Dating in the Age of COVID-19: How to Find Love in a Pandemic.

I explained why dating is a hot topic in a pandemic, and where singles originally pushed the pause button; Not anymore.

Here’s an excerpt from our interview.

Daniella: The pandemic has put a hold on a lot of things, including dating, in person. Singles are heading to dating apps and websites to meet new people.

Jonathan: Dating is hard enough as it is. Have you seen more people turning to dating apps during this time?

Julie: I have. As a matter of fact, the numbers have really skyrocketed! I have an ongoing poll on my site, DatingintheAgeofCOVID19.com, with the question, how has COVID-19 changed your dating life?

The majority, 83% said they were looking for a meaningful relationship more than ever, with less than 3% looking to hook up.

Daniella: So how does this work? You start with a Zoom meeting, and what’s your suggestion on how this works to date during the pandemic?

Julie: We do go in stages, and I’m a big fan of virtual dating. I created something called the Dress Rehearsal, where I actually go on “mock date” with people to get them ready for their date.

I check their lighting and what they’re wearing. As you can see I’m wearing red, and red pops on a video video date. 

We start slowly, with the first date being just a virtual drink. So I suggest bringing something bubbly, and putting on something that you’d wear if you were going to meet for happy hour, and do come with a happy face.

Daniella How can people stay safe if they do choose to finally make that next step and meet in person?

Julie: Right now, I’m not recommending meeting in person. I believe you’re better off safe at home, having virtual dates and doing fun thing for each other; sending deliveries.

I know some people send Venmo payments so they can pick up the tab from for their date’s dinner from their favorite restaurant.

Do things that are actually fun. Take a painting class together.

Start thinking about things you might want to do when the coast is clear to meet up in person.

Daniella:  It can get really lonely. This is a really good way, if not anything, to make a new friend as well. But, there are risks involved, always.

How can users make sure the person they’re talking to is the same person as their profile pictures. Does it make it more difficult when you don’t see that person?

Julie: This, Daniella, is the reason I believe in virtual dates. Whether you’re using Skype or Zoom or FaceTime, here’s an opportunity to make sure that someone’s not a “catfish.’ If their profile photos look a certain way, and then you get on a date or hop on a call, and they’re not recognizable, well, they’re probably hiding a lot more than just old photos.

Jonathan: Thank you Julie Spira for joining us today. You can find Julie on Instagram @JulieSpira and on her website at CyberDatingExpert.com.

When Should I Talk About My Ex, or Should I?

 
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert - Ex
 
The question of reaching out to an ex during the pandemic is a popular one at Cyber-Dating Expert, but what do you do if you’ve met someone new, and you keep bringing your ex to the table? 
 
There’s always been an unspoken rule in dating that talking about your ex is an off-limits subject on a first date, or especially during the early days of dating.
 
It’s a huge turn-off to your new partner because it sends the message that you’re possibly not over your ex, or you’re playing the comparison game. No one wants to walk on eggshells with you, so refrain from talking about the ex, so you and your new partner can start with a clean slate, and you don’t end up in a complicated love triangle.
 
It’s not necessary to talk about an ex, but somehow these default questions frequently come up of, “So how long have you been single,” or “How long was your last relationship?” Just because someone asks, it doesn’t mean they genuinely want to know the answer. It falls into the category of asking how many people have you slept with. You know your answer will be judged as having too many, or not enough. I believe the same holds true with constant banter about someone from your past.
 
RELATED: Should I Reach Out to My Ex During Corona?
 
Still, you might run into your ex if you have mutual friends or might even be good friends with a previous partner.
 
If that’s the case, you should let your date know that you’re proud that you’ve been able to keep a healthy friendship with your ex, but there’s no chance of reconciliation. 
 
This conversation should only come up if you know you’re in a promising relationship, where you’ve agreed to be exclusive, and if you travel traveling in the same circles as your ex.
 
If you’re going to attend a birthday party, holiday gathering, or will be on the same virtual happy hour together, it’s best to let your partner know your ex will be at the same event. 
 
You should always avoid bashing your ex, or complaining about your sexual life because your partner will assume you could say the same about them. 
 
The conversation about the ex will come up at some point, and I firmly believe the best approach is to say they’re an ex for a reason, or the relationship ran its course, but you’re still cordial.
 
When you talk about an ex with someone new, it comes across as baggage that you’re still carrying. I believe in taking the high road, not pointing out all of the flaws in your past relationships, and instead praise the things you like about your new relationship. Let your new boo know how grateful you are that you’ve met theme, and are happy they’re at your side. 
 
If you’re directly asked about your past history or an ex early on in your relationship, I believe you should change the subject, or say something flirty such as, “An ex? I thought you were my first.”
 
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 25 years. Find out how the Dress Rehearsal service will help you get ready for your virtual dates, and FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

Ask the Virtual Dating Expert – Should I Reach Out to my Ex During Corona?

During this period of self-isolation, quarantining, and when life seems so uncertain, it’s not unusual to reach out to old friends, family members, and of course, the ex who’s still on your mind.

Whether you’re sending a text to rekindle the spark, or just because you really care about their being, now’s the perfect time to reach out and say hello.

Chris, a reader sent in this question to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert on this subject.

Dear Julie,

I hope you’re staying safe and healthy during this crazy time.

I’m reaching out because I could really use some advice. I would like to reach out to my ex, but I’m not sure what is the best approach.

We stopped speaking eight years ago, and I tried calling her 3 years ago, but received no response (please note, I sent her a follow-up text). I’m assuming this was her way of saying no.

If given the opportunity, I would try to take the approach of showcasing to her the new person I am but haven’t had the chance.

When we stopped speaking, we were 20 and didn’t end on the best of terms, but I feel like now that we’re two older adults, eight years later, maybe things could be different. Please note, she lives in New York, and I’ve been living in L.A. for the past six years.

Would reaching out to her again after my previous attempt even be worth it?

Thank you Julie. Any and all guidance would be appreciated.

Chris

RELATED: 8 Reasons Why She Didn’t Reply to Your Text

Dear Chris,

Thanks for reaching out. You’re not alone.

It’s been a busy time with people connecting on dating apps to meet someone new, and a lot of singles are reaching out to an ex to check in and make sure they’re safe during COVID-19.

If you try to reach out, it can’t jump in to sell the “new you” to her, and should only do so to show your concern for her health and well-being.

If you take the “look at the new me,” approach, she may feel like you’re pressuring her into an instant relationship and have ulterior motives, and it will backfire for sure, and most likely result in you getting ghosted again.

Plus, we don’t know if she’s in a relationship, or the thought about entering a long-distance relationship is something of no interest to her, especially with someone where there was a bad breakup.

For now, you’ve still got her on a pedestal, reliving past memories and hoping for a new future, which isn’t realistic.

WATCH: What to Do if He Only Wants to Text Me

Keep in mind, you don’t even know what she’s like in today’s time, eight years later. Perhaps her personality has changed, and you won’t like the “new her,” and if you met today, it wouldn’t be a fit.

Still, try to stay in the friend zone, because that’s all anyone’s ex can be right now, it’s the perfect time to reach out to her in a text to say: 

“Hi (insert name), I hope you’re safe and well during this crazy time.” Then add your first name.

Don’t ask her to answer a bunch of questions, don’t ask her about her relationship status and if she’s seeing anyone, or would consider getting back together.

Living in the past can haunt you, as you try to navigate love moving forward, which is an ideal time, as 75% of singles on the Love Poll in Dating in the Age of COVID-19 say they’re looking for a meaningful and long-term relationship.

If there’s any time to reach out, it would be now, but don’t start jumping into lengthy text exchanges, and don’t be surprised if you don’t hear back.

Reaching out once the crisis is over would be less genuine, so now’s the time to show you care, with no expectations. Consider your ex, an old friend, and everyone changes in the course of close to a decade.

Start looking for someone online who’s terrific and wants to meet someone just like you. If you’ve truly evolved in the past eight years, someone will benefit from your self-growth.

Keep me posted!

Julie

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 25 years, and as a virtual dating expert, helps singles master video dating with her Dress Rehearsal service.

California and Florida Rank as Top States for Dating

Source: WalletHub

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, WalletHub has released their annual report with a ranking of the best and worst states for dating.

This map shows a view of the entire country, with the states with the darkest shade of blue being the best states overall for dating. If you’re wondering how each state was ranked, WalletHub breaks it down by category.

California ranked as #1 with the most dating opportunities and #1 in the most romance and fun category. Both Florida and California top the overall best list, so perhaps the abundance of sunshine brings the daters out in full force.

Based on dining options, California ranked at #1 with the most restaurants per Capita, followed by New York and Florida. The least desirable states for dining include North Dakota and Alaska.

Since most dates include some type of food or beverage, having a large variety of choice makes these states a winner for date ideas.

With the popularity of movie dates, it’s no wonder that California and New York are in the top 5 with the most movie theaters according to this research. Then again, a ‘Netflix and Chill’ state has no boundaries.

When it comes to online dating, California is still in the top 5 list, with singles looking for love online, but ranks lower than Washington, New Hampshire, Colorado and Utah.

Even though Tinder is based in California, Bumble is based in Texas, and OkCupid’s offices are in New York, somehow those states didn’t make it in the Top 5 list. However, Colorado is still a swipe-happy state, ranking at #2.

For more details on the best and worst states for dating, visit WalletHub, or watch this video below.

Happy Dating, wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. As an early adopter of the Internet, Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Is Brad Pitt on Tinder? He’d Like to Add his SAG Award to His Profile (If He Has One)

Brad Pitt Sag Awards
Getty Images

At the 2020 SAG Awards, Brad Pitt walked away with the win for Best Supporting Actor for his performance in Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

The single Hollywood heartthrob began his speech by holding his statue up and saying, “I gotta add this to my Tinder profile.” While he said it jokingly and in jest, the crowd roared with laughter, because Tinder is a household name, and celebrities are using dating apps.

Watch Brad Pitt’s SAG Awards Speech

So does Brad Pitt have a Tinder profile? I don’t know anyone who has yet had the opportunity to swipe right on Pitt on a dating app, but if so, he’s in good company.

Recently, Sharon Stone was spotted on Bumble, and it wasn’t fake news. Too many Bumbling users assumed the profile wasn’t really hers, and successfully got the app to take the profile down in error.

Stone went to Twitter to ask Bumble to reactivate her profile, so she can start swiping right for love.

Other celebrities on dating sites and apps have included, Sinead O’Connor, Demi Lovato, Zac Efron, Katy Perry, John Mayer, Lindsay Lohan, Khloe Kardashian, and Hilary Duff. 

If you do spot Pitt’s profile on Tinder, swipe right, and let me know, as it would be a thrill to critique his dating profile for him, and he’s already proved he’s got a sense of humor.

Julie Spira is an award-winning dating coach and America’s Top Online Dating Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook

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