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How to Fall in Love This Fall Using Your Eyes

Flirt Using Eyes

 

Welcome Fall! There’s nothing more exciting than the change of seasons, and the possibilities of falling in love during fall leading into the holidays.

There are endless articles on how to fall in love using words, eyes, flirting gestures, using your sense of humor, but did you know you can fall in love just by staring at someone’s eyes?

Once upon a time ago, two people fell in love at first sight just by using their eyes. One of the two, was myself! There was something about this gentleman’s eyes that captured my attention. I kept staring at him and then turning my head away quickly, a bit nervously. When we finally started talking after 20 minutes of staring at each others eyes and smiling, it turned out we had the exact same colored eyes.

I wrote about that experience in my first published book  and know first-hand that this can actually work.

Perhaps I can say we fell in love at first eye-sight. Research has backed up this theory that you can fall in love with someone just through eye contact.

Then again, there are songs about eyes, such as, You’re Too Good to be True, Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You, Brown Eyed Girl, Green Eyes Lady, These Eyes, Spanish Eyes, and the list goes on.

Research and instinct prove that both men and women are visual. Either the see something shiny or someone attractive that they like, or they don’t. This is why popular dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge are so popular and singles are swiping right in record numbers.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we recommend that you ditch those sunglasses in your online dating profiles and mobile apps, and make sure your potential date can stare into your sparkling eyes.

Here are 31 facts on how to flirt with your eyes

  1. When two people in love gaze into each others’ eyes, their heartbeats synchronize with each other.
  2. Your eyes dilate almost 50% wider when you look at someone you love or fancy.
  3. When flirting, a woman will look at someone, then quickly look away and wait 30 seconds if she’s interested.
  4. Perfect vision makes it easier to fall in love at first sight.
  5. Gazing straight into a stranger’s eyes can make them fall in love.
  6. Rapid blinking may mean someone is attracted to you.
  7. Women will find a man attractive if another woman is looking at smiling at him.
  8. When someone who finds you attractive locks eyes with you, they automatically go up a notch on your love barometer.
  9. Sparkling eyes show strong emotions.
  10. People with a strong connection of love hold eye contact for longer periods of time.

Plus 21 more fun facts in this Infographic below.

Flirting Eyes Infographic

 
Courtesy of: Optilase.com
 
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet and mobile dating, and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

How to Find a Date With a Sense of Humor

Everyone wants to date someone who’s funny and has a great sense of humor, right?

I’ve viewed countless online dating profiles that require that their match have a great sense of humor, or admit that they’re funny, but how can you tell without hearing their voice or meeting IRL?

You may of heard about the The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts from Gary Chapman’s bestselling book. It’s a terrific read and helps you to identify your love language to communicate better with your significant other, but did you know there different humor types that help you find a compatible date while looking for love online?

eHarmony Tested 6 Types of Humor

Our friends at eHarmony decided to put humor to the test. In a survey of over 1500 members, they got to view gifs and memes to rate which humor type they were the most comfortable with.

The humor categories, ranked in order are as follows:

  1. Physical Humor 
  2. Bodily Humor
  3. Self-Deprecating Humor
  4. Wordplay Humor
  5. Surreal Humor
  6. Dark Humor

In the study, it revealed that not all types of humor are created equally.

It came to no surprise that physical humor ranked at the top of the dating humor totem pole, closely followed by bodily humor.

I spoke with Jonathan Beber, eHarmony’s Senior Research Scientist, who pointed out that participants who found Wordplay humor the funniest, sent out more messages than those who weren’t fans of Wordplay.

“Sharing a similar style of humor with a romantic partner could lead to more chemistry and better relationship quality during the course of the length of the relationship,” said Beber.

Dark humor was favored the least by those who participated in the study, where online and in digital conversations, the dark humor probably came off as creepy or insulting.

Women found self-deprecating humor, where they made fun of themselves and their shortcomings, significantly funnier than the men who were surveyed.

How do you find someone with a great sense of humor?

As a dating coach, my best advice is to show your sense of humor and be willing to laugh at yourself.

  1. In your profile, make a joke and promise your potential date you can make them laugh.
  2. Hop on a phone call,  joke around, and keep the conversation light and fun.
  3. Meet quickly to see if you click. If your dark humor is a turn-off to someone, it’s better to find out sooner, rather than later.
  4. Remember that laughter is the best medicine. Say you’ll bring over chicken soup on demand if they’re under the weather.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online and on their mobile phones for over 20 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Watch Online Dating Expert Julie Spira in The Lonely Italian Movie

Lonely ItalianWe’re excited to share the release of The Lonely Italian movie with our readers.

For those of you who have dated online, you know that often dates are filled with mishaps, hysterical stories, or ones where you hope to click and get to a second date.

The star of the film, Domenico Nesci, just can’t get to a second date because he keeps getting in the way. This is why he needs a dating coach.

Here’s an excerpt from The Lonely Italian, where online dating expert Julie Spira helps Domenico Nesci, set up his profile by selecting the photos.

Domenico, being a funny guy, had a few profile photos that would make everyone SWIPE LEFT.

You can order and watch the full feature film here and get ready to laugh out loud.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and mobile dating expert. She’s an award-winning dating coach and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, where she’s been helping singles find love online for almost 25 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for dating advice.

Help! My Boyfriend Created a Tinder Profile After a Fight

Hi Julie,

Today my best friend was on Tinder and found my boyfriend’s account. We have been together almost 3 years, though we have broken up twice. I confronted him about it and he told me he made it after a big fight of ours, realized he was making a mistake, then deleted the app, and must have forgotten to delete the account.

He said that he didn’t message or get involved with anyone. When I asked him for permission to log on to see if his claims were true, he said that he already just deleted the account.

What do I do?

Worried

My Dear Worried,

If I had a dollar for every person who contacted me after they or a friend found a Tinder profile during a swiping frenzy, I’d take a trip around the world.

RELATED: HELP! I FOUND MY BOYFRIEND ON TINDER

All relationships go through bumps on the road, and a guy often looks to see who else is out there, if he has doubts about the relationship, or even if he’s about to make a deeper commitment.

That doesn’t mean he met someone, chatted with someone, or even remembered he had a moment of faux girlfriend shopping.

The most important part of a relationship is trust. If he says he deleted the app, that’s probably exactly what he thinks he did and you need to believe him.

When someone removes Tinder from their mobile phone, they assume it’s gone, as they aren’t using it. There is a difference between removing Tinder from your phone and deleting your account permanently. Most people don’t realize that.

Your boyfriend thinks he’s a good guy and is in a relationship with you, but his profile will still appear on Tinder as a potential match to others, so yes, it looks like a form of cheating.

RELATED: HOW TO DELETE YOUR TINDER PROFILE WHEN YOU MEET THE ONE

I say let it slide now, or you could be headed for another breakup. If it’s not on his phone, he isn’t swiping right or left on anyone, nor is he chatting with anyone. Give it a few weeks and let him know that you appreciate him being honest with you about “removing” Tinder from his phone and that you’re happy everything is going well with the two of you.

Then let him know you read an article (mine), that said if you take Tinder off your phone, it stays on their service as an active profile unless you log on and specifically click “Delete Account.” It’s in the settings part of the profile that looks like a gear at the very bottom.  Tell him it would make you feel more comfortable if he deleted/disabled his account, so others who know both of you don’t assume that the two of you agreed to an “open relationship.” Make it about the two of you, not just about you.

Send him this link, How to Delete Tinder on how to do it, but don’t look over his shoulder and question him on who he was chatting with, if anyone. Again, it’s about trust and show that you trust that he tried to remove Tinder correctly and that even you didn’t realize there’s a difference between removing Tinder and deleting an account.

I think he’s telling you the truth and really wants you to trust him. Have the conversation in a very loving way. He’ll appreciate the fact that neither of you want to send the message that you’re available for an open relationship, when you’re not.

Keep me posted!

Julie

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for dating and find out how our Irresistible Profiles programs will help you find your dream date.

 

 

How to Delete Tinder When You Meet The One

delete tinderDid you Swipe Right on Tinder and meet someone you’d like to date exclusively?

If so, congratulations are in order and you’re not alone.

Tinder reports 10 matches to date and 1.4 billion swipes every day.

Still, we get contacted several times a week when someone thinks their boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on them because his or her Tinder profile is still active. Typically a friend notices it and wonders if there’s trouble in paradise.

RELATED: A LOVE EXPERT HELPED US WITH OUR TINDER PROFILES

Before you start accusing your S.O. that they’ve been sneaking around and before you do something drastic like sneak a peek at their phone, as a Tinder Expert, I need to share with you that there’s a huge DIFFERENCE between REMOVING Tinder off your mobile phone, which is what the majority of people do, and actually DELETING Tinder through their app while it’s still on the phone.

The former will result in your profile still being active for others to see and it sends a message that you’re single and hoping someone will be swiping right in anticipation of a match and to meeting IRL. The latter disables your account and your Tinder profile will no longer be viewed by others who are swiping and matching.

Got it? So here’s how to fix it.

How to Delete Tinder

  1. If you’ve already taken Tinder off your mobile phone, download the app again and sign in.
  2. Once you’re signed in, on the top left side, click on the icon to view your profile
  3. Once your profile is on the screen, click on the grey gear symbol in the middle of the screen.
  4. This brings you to a “Settings” page. Scroll to the bottom of the page, where you will see the option to “Logout” or “Delete Account.” Select Delete Account.
  5. You will receive a message that says, “Account successfully deleted.”

RELATED: HELP I FOUND MY BOYFRIEND ON TINDER

If you’ve met someone you really like, give it a chance to see where it goes. If you ever break up, you an always create a new Tinder account in just a few minutes.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years and on mobile apps like Tinder since their launch. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Find out how our Swiping Right program will help you have the most rocking Tinder profile to fill your date card.

 

Tinder Love Story – Rachel and Jason

Tinder Jason and Rachel

Meet Rachel and Jason who fell in love on the Tinder mobile dating app. She shared how the two met with some heartwarming details about their courtship.

When Rachel first saw her now-husband on Tinder, she said, “I thought he was handsome!  Initially, all I had to go off of were his pictures. One in particular, of him standing in a park in a navy hoodie got me. He was good looking but there was also something warm about his smile. To be honest, he seemed out of my league but I went for him anyway.”

RELATED: A Love Expert Critiqued Our Tinder Profiles

How long did it take to meet “IRL” (in real life) and when did your courtship begin?

“Interestingly, we agreed to make plans almost right away as we had initial good banter back and forth and enough in common that I felt comfortable meeting…. but we scheduled the actual date a couple of weeks out. I had just moved to L.A. and wasn’t free for a couple of weeks for what would end up being my second Tinder date ever, and on his end (while I didn’t realize it at the time), he had been out on so many Tinder dates prior to meeting me that his expectations were not exceedingly high, so he was totally content to wait.”

When did you know or become exclusive (how long before?) and how did you know he/she was the one?

“I would say we went from 0-60 very quickly.  Our first date was February 13th, 2014 we both went strategically radio silent on Valentine’s Day and then we made plans and went out on our second date on February 15th.  I think we were formally exclusive within the first 2 months, although truthfully, I was probably a little slower than he was to get the memo.

RELATED: These Names Will Get You the Most Right Swipes on Tinder

I had literally just moved to L.A. from New York a month and a half prior, and was going out of my way to meet new people.  And I was coming from Manhattan where people just didn’t seem to take dating quite as seriously as they do in L.A.  My husband claims he had worked his way through half of Tinder before meeting me and was a little burnt out on the process and thus ready to be serious. It was so refreshing to actually meet a guy who was interested in getting to know me, spending time with me and who was not looking to play games.”

Rachel and Jason have been together for 3.5 years now. They’re married and have a 7-month-old baby girl.

RELATED: Oh no! She Found Her Boyfriend on Tinder

Congratulations to Rachel and Jason, our Tinder Love Story.

Photo credit: Camilla Greenwell

Have you met someone special on Tinder or other mobile dating apps? We’d like to hear from you. 

CONTACT US to share your story.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for juicy dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Watch Match: The Musical for a Smile

Match the Musical

I’ve always said that music can be an important part of your online dating profile and our friends at Match agree.

I’ve encouraged singles to include their favorite bands, use song lyrics for screen names, or list the upcoming concerts they’re scheduled to attend.

Many dating apps give you the ability to link your spotify account to your profile to see if you have similar musical taste, which is a great ice breaker.

Taking it a step further, Match created this fun musical video about a couple who met online and are excited about their new found relationship. The two are in serious crush mode and it will make you smile.

Watch this video of Match: The Musical

You just might find yourself humming along and clicking the replay button and logging on more often to find that same type of connection.

RELATED: How Music Can Improve Your Dating Profile

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. As an early adopter of Internet dating, she’s been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

CLICK HERE for 25% of  you membership to Match

OkCupid Ditches Who’s Viewed You Feature

OkCupid

After a bunch of beta testing, our friends at OkCupid have decided to remove the feature of who’s viewed your profile, thereby enabling all members to browse anonymously on their online dating site and mobile app.

Previously part of the A-List premium paid features, now all members can browse, um, stalk their favorite profiles while they proactively can now like and comment on photos.
In the OkCupid blog, they give the following reason for these changes.

Likes & Messages Are the Truest Indicators of Interest

“Likes and messages are much clearer indicators of someone’s interest. And in dating, clearer is better. If someone messages you, for example. That means that someone wants to get to know you better. Or someone likes you. We take that as a clear sign that they’re interested in you. If you’ve also liked that person, you’ll both be able to see that you’ve mutually liked each other — even if neither of you have A-List — and you’ll get that signal of interest directly”

How Invisible Browsing Now Works

Without being able to view who visited your profile, you won’t know until they tacke action and message or like your profile and/or photos. 

The reason for this change, is the site is strongly encouraging you to message someone, rather than taking a peek and deciding later.

OkCupid claims that men who send a first message between 40 and 90 characters have the highest chances of a reply, and women who make the first move are 17% more likely to end up on a date than those who don’t.

So when we say word count and character count matters, it’s now backed up by their research.

Are you ready to put ten toes in and make the first move?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and had been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

SURVEY: The #1 Way to Be More Romantic

Top Romantic Gestures

Wondering if you’re super romantic or not?

In honor of National Romance Awareness month, held every August, our friends at Match shared their Singles in America Survey, ranking what singles believe to be the most romantic gestures.

Before you open your wallet for jewelry, unless it’s for an engagement ring, the survey showed that the top most romantic thing you can do is to take care of your partner when they are sick. (87%)

I’ll always remember the guy who once put together a get well care package when I was under the weather. He included chicken soup, food for the week, a candle, a cute card, throat spray, and vitamin C, all wrapped in a big bow.

So if you’re sweetie is under the weather, offer to take him or her to the doctor, pick up some remedies and be their rock for when they are ready to roll.

A former boyfriend, who now is my male BFF has me on the pedestal, because I took care of him during his knee surgery. I went to the hospital, stayed with him until they rolled him into the surgery room, called all of his contacts when he came out of surgery, and spent the night in the hospital and camped out at his place, feeding him and helping him walk again.

It brought us closer and gave us a bond that we will never forget.

RELATED: 21 Ways to Celebrate National Romance Month

The other top romantic gestures from the survey include:

2. Attending a family outing together as a Couple (83%)

Not every couples wants to be Facebook official, but when your SO brings you to the family reunion or a wedding, the message is clear. You’re important enough to blend in with his or her family.

3. Mentioning Your Significant Other to Your Friends (82%)

While you don’t need to kiss-and-tell about everything you do, when you can’t wait to tell your BFF or coffee group about the new guy or girl to your friends, your letting them know this one’s special and isn’t in rotation.

4. Vacationing Together (79%)

If you’ve passed the first three, it’s time to take the big vacation test. Before you grab your passport, schedule a weekend away of 1-2 nights, learn how to roll with any scheduled changes, and see if you can handle sharing the same bathroom together. Passing this test is a good sign for your relationship.

RELATED: How to Survive Your First Romantic Trip Together

5. Mentioning Your Significant Other to Your Parents (76%)

We know that you get nagged about what’s new with the new person you’re dating. Your parents just want you to be happy, but when you feel great about your relationship, both of you will want to brag about your partner to your parents, and they’ll be over the moon with joy to hear things are going well.

Wishing you much love and joy during National Romance Month.

Follow Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s an award-winning dating coach and love expert who has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

The Lonely Italian – Online Dating Movie

The Lonely Italian
 

It’s official! The film, The Lonely Italian has been released and you can watch it now!

It’s a hilarious movie, and I’m honored to have been the star’s online dating experts and coach. Watch early on as I help the lonely Italian Domenico Nesci navigate the waters of online dating and mobile dating apps. You name it, he’s tried it!

The film has already won one festival award for Best Film-USA in the Ferrara Film Festival.

From JDate to Tinder, 420 Dating to Fitness Singles, Dominco leaves no dating opportunity off the table.

Here’s the film trailer and it will have you ROTFL.

You can download the film digitally on your tablet or TV through Amazon, iTunes and more.

Click here to purchase or rent the movie.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s an award-winning dating coach and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, where she’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

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