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Why WhatsApp is Making Singles Anxious

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Recently we wrote about non-traditional dating apps that were used to find a date.

When Rachel Thompson from Mashable asked me to weigh in on the anxiety singles were having staring at their SO’s ‘last seen’ timestamp on WhatsApp, the popular messaging app purchased by Facebook for $19 million, I wasn’t surprised.

In her article, The One WhatsApp Feature Can Make or Break Relationships, Thompson took a deep dive into the activity and hearts of singles wondering if their boo was cheating on them, or to check on someone who might have ghosted them. Ouch, it’s a digital pain that stabs at our hearts.

Some singles were staying up until after 3am to see if the person they’ve been dating was awake texting someone. What they knew for sure, is they weren’t the recipient of sweet nothings late at night, or possibly at all that night.

Thompson even spoke to an attorney who was president of the Italian Association of Matrimonial Lawyers who said, “WhatsApp messages sent by cheating spouses play an integral role in 40% of Italian divorce cases citing adultery.”

I told Mashable, “the incessant checking of the ‘last seen’ timestamp should sound alarm bells in your relationship, regardless of what you find.”

“If you don’t have trust in your relationship both online and offline, then then it’s not a healthy relationship and you should think about calling it quits instead of staring at his or her ‘last seen’ timestamp.”

Related: Online Dating Anxiety Disorder: Is it Worse During the Holidays?

via Giphy

via Giphy

Where staring at the timestamp becomes a problem, is when someone stalks an ex, is unsure of their relationship status, and these days, more frequently if they’ve suddenly been ghosted and don’t know why.

This feature, where you can check up on someone to know there digital whereabouts, helps people stay connected, but It can become very obsessive and isn’t limited to just WhatsApp. Some are checking the last online status on online dating sites such as OkCupid or to see if they have a green button on Facebook chat.

Related: Rules of Netiquette: To Snoop, or Not to Snoop

This need to cyber stalk gets worse when the person you’ve been checking up on decides change their privacy status to hide their last seen feature, or even takes it a step further and blocks you. Ouch, again.

Still, the need to peek can become addictive and it can negatively affect a relationship when one jumps to a digital conclusion about the relationship status solely bases on online activity. It appears WhatsApp is now responsible for many breakups.

Are you gazing a little too often at the timestamp feature on WhatsApp?

Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet and mobile dating apps. Julie has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

For more dating advice, sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

 

Sharing the Love at BlogWorld – Thoughts on BWE10

Blog WorldIt was a last minute decision in between the 140 Conference and Digital Hollywood, but I hopped on a plane to attend BlogWorld in Las Vegas to join my social media friends and experts, and I was sure glad that I did.

Going to Las Vegas is always a whirlwind trip, and my experience at BlogWorld Expo was no exception to the rule.

Over 3000 attended the BlogWorld Expo to learn the latest trends in podcasting, social media marketing, blogging, monetization, and the most up to date information from panelists, bloggers, and social media experts.

There were parties galore at BlogWorld 10. Our friends at KLOUT picked up guests in their VIP Hummer limo, which seated 20 for their BlogWorld Kloutup reception at the Palms Hotel. Afterwards we gathered at the opening party hosted by Techset at the new Liquid Pool Lounge at the Aria Hotel.

It was a time to see old friends and meet new ones to move our online friendships to offline. I was most excited to meet Joel Williams, Blog Tech Guy, who has been part of the Cyber-Dating Expert and Social Media and More teams for almost two years.

Marsha Collier at BlogWorld

Marsha Collier at BlogWorld

I graciously and regretfully passed on Brian Solis’s midnight after party at the Wynn Hotel to rest up for a full day of sessions on Day 2. I stopped to say hello to the folks at BlogTalk Radio, Audio Acrobat, signed the Ford Focus Rally car along with many others, and engaged in meaningful conversations in the Sony New Media Lounge. I very much enjoyed watching a few of the Techmunch sessions in the exhibit hall curated by Babette from Bake Space.

My friend Marsha Collier hosted one of the Techmunch panels and was at the Wiley booth signing copies of her new book, Facebook and Twitter For Seniors For Dummies (For Dummies (Computer/Tech))

Omaha Steaks at BlogWorld

Executive Chef Karl Marsh and Todd Simon, Sr. VP Omaha Steaks

In the evening, we were treated to the BlogWorld Bistro Tasting, hosted by Omaha Steaks in the private Foundation Room at House of Blues. Chef Karl Marsh was on hand serving up amazing appetizers including Filet Mignon Spring Rolls, Bull Wings, Coconut Shrimp, and Jumbo Cooked Shrimp. Our friends at Mashable hosted the Mashbash party at Haze at the Aria hotel.

Julie Spira and Heather Meeker at The Love Party

Julie Spira and Heather Meeker at The Love Party

Afterwards, my friend Stephanie Michaels, @Adventuregirl hosted The Love Party at the Beatles Revolution Lounge with a portion of the proceeds to benefit Operation Smile.

On Day 3, I hosted Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show live from BlogWorld with my guest Dan Abelon, co-founder of SpeedDate. Dan called in to talk about the latest trends in mobile dating as well as their focus on matching based primarily on chemistry over compatibility. SpeedDate now has over 10 million members looking for love online.

And they did save the best for last with final Keynote Address.

Blog World Keynote Address

Penn Jillette, Adam Carolla and Rob Barnett

We were promised a closing session full of laughter by former radio executive Rob Barnett, who started My Damn Channel four years ago. We were not disappointed. Shira Lazar introduced the session with guests including Penn Jillette of the famous Vegas duo of Penn and Teller, Adam Carolla, Cali Lewis, Mark Malkoff, and Jeffrey Hayzlett.

Penn, who has over 1.6 million followers on Twitter and writes his own tweets, says he types what’s in his heart. He told the group that Social media helps us tell the truth as we see it. Penn multitasks his career with Penn Point on Revision 3 and about 8 others at once.

Adam Carolla talked about getting fired from his job and his extraordinary comeback as a super-successful podcasters. The Adam Carolla show now has 200,000 downloads a day.

Mark Malkoff, the comedian who is best known as the guy who filmed himself at 171 Starbucks locations in Manhattan as well as the guy who lived in IKEA told us that he stayed in his bathroom for 5 days to detox from Internet addiction. His funny stories get picked up by the major news outlets including CNN. You can find him on MyDamnChannel.com/MarkMalkoff.

Cali Lewis from GeekBeat TV shared her passion for social media saying it takes 16 hour a day 7 day a week to keep up with her personal brand. She added that she’s enthusiastic about taking over the world.

It’s always a treat to see former Kodak CMO turned bestselling author Jeffrey Hayzlett speak about social media marketing. Hayzlett talked about the 118 from his book The Mirror Test: Is Your Business Really Breathing?

He claims it takes 110 seconds for the average elevator ride in New York City and 8 seconds to hook someone in. Hence, the elevator speech about what you do must be honed down to 118 seconds. He added that “Scale is the New Black.” In other words, you’ll need to add several 000s to prove your concept.

All in all it was a gathering of sharing information, meeting some of the kindest people in social media, and an educational forum to build our businesses all created by our passions in our niches.

Congratulations to Rick Calvert and Dave Cynkin, co-founders of BlogWorld on a very successful and wonderful experience for social media enthusiasts. I look forward to seeing everyone again at BlogWorld 11.