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Love vs. Trump: Is Politics Polarizing Relationships?

Love Vs. Trump: Politics Polarizing Relationships

It’s been one-year since Donald Trump took office, and singles are still dealing with the big political elephant in the room, our commander-in-chief and his tweets.

During the election, and in the aftermath of Trump’s presidency, talking about politics has become critical when dating someone new, and to those within their existing relationships.

I recently wrote an essay, Can Love Survive Trump, where I revealed my big confession on how I struggled in my relationship with my long-term love. He had strong and vocal opposing views from mine when it came to politics.

As a dating coach, I believe I provide good dating advice on how to navigate the singles scene with politically opposite views. I also really love a good debate. While coaching others successfully on how to talk about politics on a date, I didn’t take my advice and kept silent about my complicated relationship status. I now feel liberated, as the dark cloud has lifted in my life.

Politics has become so divisive in dating, that conversations that start at the breakfast table end up on opposite sides in the bedroom. They often no longer include, “Sweet dreams” and a hug.

When one person walks in the Women’s March wearing a pink hat, and the other is jumping for joy about the new tax reform, it’s clear that talking about differing political views need to happen on the first date, if not sooner.

Dating Sites Weigh In

In a Match Singles in America study, they showed that talking about politics on a first date will result in a 91% chance of putting the second one on the calendar.

OkCupid found that 50% of its users won’t date someone with opposing political views. The site also found that users mentioning political words in their profiles increased by more than 1000% from 2015 to 2017.

OkCupid Trump

The site, known for asking provocative questions, has 19 questions about politics. “Trump?” received the most answers, with 74% responding “hell no” and only 4% answering “hell yes.” The most answered question was “Should guns be allowed in schools?” The most polarizing question is, “Did Russia hack the last US election?”

Mobile dating app profiles now include political terms, or instructions to “swipe left if you vote for Trump,” or “swipe right if you think Trump’s making America great again.”

Tinder Politics Dating Deal Breakers

Tinder states that 71% of their users won’t date a Trump supporter. Their Modern Dating Myths, released in April of 2017 showed, “Opposing political views were getting more left swipes.” Nine out of 10 of my dating coaching clients said that having similar political views with their dates are important to them.

Coffee Meets Bagel tells me their poll of 1320 members showed that the majority, 70%, who are Democrats said politics was impacting their dating lives, as compared to 43% of Republican singles.

Plenty of Fish conducted several surveys on politics and dating in 2016 and 2016 and offered some promising news.

POF found while the current political climate is tense, it’s starting to lighten up. They found that less than 1% of singles used the terms “Trump” or “Republican” or “Democrat” in their profiles. They also said that 90% of people had not broken up with someone over political views or party affiliation since the election and recommended not talking about politics on a first date.

Experts Weigh in on Trump and Politics

I spoke with Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Science Officer at Match, who said, “If singles feel very strongly about their political views, should they add it to their profiles.”

CNN Political Contributor and KABC Radio co-host John Phillips agrees with Fisher. “If both people are passionate and care about politics a great deal, it could be a problem,” Said Fisher. “But then the relationship is probably doomed anyway.”

Dr. Fisher’s research indicates that people gravitate towards people who share their values. “For couples who are polar opposite politically, they just have to agree to disagree and find a way to respect each other, Fisher said.

“People are going to stay strong in their positions because we aren’t talking about how you butter your toast,” said Fisher. “Things with the Dreamers and the immigrants is real and taps into basic values.”

Deal breakers for singles used to include height, smoking, and religion. They’ve been replaced with politics as a top deal breaker, with singles feeling more comfortable dating someone with same political views.

Phillips, who identifies as Republican, tells me that politics is more critical than ever in today’s dating world. “It’s more important than it used to be because the news has essentially become one endless talk show about politics,” said Phillips.

He believes politically charged opposite couples can co-exist in Trump’s America. “If Dodger fans can date Giants fans without the relationship ending in a 911 call, Trump and Clinton supporters can co-exist without domestic violence,” Phillips said.

Are we heading to a point where we can agree to disagree over an appetizer and enjoy crème brûlée for dessert? I sure hope so.

“There used to be water cooler topics. Now there’s one water cooler topic: politics,” adds Phillips.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years with the Irresistible Profiles programs.

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5 Tips to ROCK Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday - Cyber Dating Expert

What’s all the buzz about Dating Sunday?

With the New Year and love on the minds of many singles, Match and other dating sites have predicted the first Sunday after New Year’s as the busiest time of the year for activity. The EXACT time you should be logging on for love is at 8:55pm/ET, 5:55pm/PT.

Area you ready for the world’s largest digital love fest?

RELATED: Watch Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on ABC News on Dating Sunday

Here are some tips to make the most of Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday Tip #1: Don’t be Shy: I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal,” so go ahead and make the first move. Check out who has viewed your profile and reply back the same day. If you don’t respond, someone else will.

Dating Sunday Tip #2. Get Ready to Push. Log onto your mobile dating app profile and check your settings. Make sure your push notifications are set to ON, so you’ll get notified if your digital crush responds to you and then start swiping, big time.

Dating Sunday Tip #3. Upload New Photos and Smile! It’s a new year, so replace your existing profile photos with some new fun shots. The built-in cameras are terrific on mobile phones now, so have a friend help take new photos of you, or hire a professional to look your best. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we have photographers we work with and we’ll make sure your profile is date-worthy when we create your Irresistible Profile.

Dating Sunday Tip #4. Log On Frequently. Your soulmate can’t find you if you’re invisible. Log on twice daily to keep your profile active, especially in the evening during peak traffic hours, and take time to see who has viewed your profile or liked your photos.

Dating Sunday Tip #5: Fill Your Bucket List. Match has a great feature called, the bucket list, where you can list the things you’ve been dreaming about doing. If you like hiking, say you hike on weekends, but would love to hike Mt. Kilamanjaro someday. You might not make it to the top of the mountain, but you will easily fill your date card with those who also enjoy hiking. If you’d love to go on a safari in Africa, add it to your bucket list. You might meet someone who’s been there and can’t wait to show you his or her photos, or better yet, you just might end up there with someone you meet online.

Singles will be looking for love online in record numbers, exactly at 8:55pm/ET on Sunday, January 7th. Remember, 1 in 3 relationships start online, so you’ll be in good company and peak season is happening now, through Valentine’s Day.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

Dating Sunday – The Busiest Day for Online Dating on January 7th

Dating Sunday - Julie Spira

Dating Sunday, on January 7th, is the world’s largest digital love-fest. It’s also peak season for online dating, so get ready to join the party.

We’re busy at Cyber-Dating Expert with new singles joining the dating pool in what we call the “Trifecta of Dating.”

  1. Singles are putting love at the top of their New Year’s resolution list.
  2. More singles are joining the dating pool due to a pre and post-holiday break ups.
  3. The countdown clock to Valentine’s Day is ticking.

On ABC 7 Eyewitness News in Los Angeles, I spoke with Anabel Muñoz and John Gregory on why Match has proclaimed this Sunday as the most popular day of the year for online dating.

Watch the segment below.

What should you do to get ready for Dating Sunday?

The days leading up to Dating Sunday are a reflective time for many who are thinking about finding a meaningful relationship.

It’s also “peak season,” for online daters, which starts right after Christmas and goes through Valentine’s Day. 

It’s a time for new beginnings, so take new photos, update last year’s profile, and turn on your push notifications to make the most of this season.

RELATED: 5 TIPS TO ROCK DATING SUNDAY

What is Dating Sunday?

Dating Sunday, or #DatingSunday is the day dating sites see the greatest surge of users. Match been analyzing data since the site was launched in 1995 and predicts 8:55pm/ET, 5:55pm/PT will be the busiest, with  the most usage.

The site reports a 42% spike in new singles joining on this day. During peak season, 50 million messages are expected to be sent during peak season, resulting in 1 million dates!

It’s actually quite exciting to see singles become so positive about finding love online and joining mobile dating apps and sites at the start of the new year.

Other sites, such as Plenty of Fish, expect over 117,000 new signups on Dating Sunday, peaking at 9pm.

Remember, 1 in 3 relationships start online, so you’ll be in good company and we’re here to help you find love in 2018.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of online dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online and on mobile dating apps for almost 25 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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Watch Match: The Musical for a Smile

Match the Musical

I’ve always said that music can be an important part of your online dating profile and our friends at Match agree.

I’ve encouraged singles to include their favorite bands, use song lyrics for screen names, or list the upcoming concerts they’re scheduled to attend.

Many dating apps give you the ability to link your spotify account to your profile to see if you have similar musical taste, which is a great ice breaker.

Taking it a step further, Match created this fun musical video about a couple who met online and are excited about their new found relationship. The two are in serious crush mode and it will make you smile.

Watch this video of Match: The Musical

You just might find yourself humming along and clicking the replay button and logging on more often to find that same type of connection.

RELATED: How Music Can Improve Your Dating Profile

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. As an early adopter of Internet dating, she’s been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

CLICK HERE for 25% of  you membership to Match

SURVEY: The #1 Way to Be More Romantic

Top Romantic Gestures

Wondering if you’re super romantic or not?

In honor of National Romance Awareness month, held every August, our friends at Match shared their Singles in America Survey, ranking what singles believe to be the most romantic gestures.

Before you open your wallet for jewelry, unless it’s for an engagement ring, the survey showed that the top most romantic thing you can do is to take care of your partner when they are sick. (87%)

I’ll always remember the guy who once put together a get well care package when I was under the weather. He included chicken soup, food for the week, a candle, a cute card, throat spray, and vitamin C, all wrapped in a big bow.

So if you’re sweetie is under the weather, offer to take him or her to the doctor, pick up some remedies and be their rock for when they are ready to roll.

A former boyfriend, who now is my male BFF has me on the pedestal, because I took care of him during his knee surgery. I went to the hospital, stayed with him until they rolled him into the surgery room, called all of his contacts when he came out of surgery, and spent the night in the hospital and camped out at his place, feeding him and helping him walk again.

It brought us closer and gave us a bond that we will never forget.

RELATED: 21 Ways to Celebrate National Romance Month

The other top romantic gestures from the survey include:

2. Attending a family outing together as a Couple (83%)

Not every couples wants to be Facebook official, but when your SO brings you to the family reunion or a wedding, the message is clear. You’re important enough to blend in with his or her family.

3. Mentioning Your Significant Other to Your Friends (82%)

While you don’t need to kiss-and-tell about everything you do, when you can’t wait to tell your BFF or coffee group about the new guy or girl to your friends, your letting them know this one’s special and isn’t in rotation.

4. Vacationing Together (79%)

If you’ve passed the first three, it’s time to take the big vacation test. Before you grab your passport, schedule a weekend away of 1-2 nights, learn how to roll with any scheduled changes, and see if you can handle sharing the same bathroom together. Passing this test is a good sign for your relationship.

RELATED: How to Survive Your First Romantic Trip Together

5. Mentioning Your Significant Other to Your Parents (76%)

We know that you get nagged about what’s new with the new person you’re dating. Your parents just want you to be happy, but when you feel great about your relationship, both of you will want to brag about your partner to your parents, and they’ll be over the moon with joy to hear things are going well.

Wishing you much love and joy during National Romance Month.

Follow Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s an award-winning dating coach and love expert who has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

Match Poll Shows Men and Women Agree on Wearing Red on a Date

Red Hot

Date Outfits - Cyber Dating Expert

I’ve always said single women should wear red on a date and on their online dating profile primary photos.

It’s not just because red is my favorite color, but research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology at the University of Rochester also proved that women who wore red on their online dating profiles received more emails from men, went on more dates, and the men actually spent more money on women wearing red.

We know that red is the color of love, passion, and the stop sign. But red is that winning color both in the boardroom and the bedroom.

To add to that theory, our  friends at Match partnered with Finery and polled 2500 singles to determine the best date outfits and the worst date outfits.

BEST DATE OUTFITS AS SELECTED BY MEN

The winner by both was clearly a simple sophisticated and casual mid-length red dress, paired with a classic clutch, heels, and fun earrings. The look was called “Red Hot,” and I have to agree on the choice. So for those who think you should wear a mini-dress, or plunging cleavage, think again. 

The second pick by the guys was called “Sweet and Flirty,” which is a good summer look. Off the shoulder tops are all the rage now, and wearing hot pink is as close to wearing red as you can find.

Sweet and Flirty

Sweet and Flirty date outfit

When it comes to first date outfits, or any date for that matter, where what makes you feel comfortable, flirty, and happy. Dressing in grunge, sweats, or uggs, are good for hanging out at home, but they’re a turn-off for a guy. Dressing for women who will notice the brands will just bleed  your wallet. A guy wants to see you wearing something feminine and form fitting.

WORST DATE OUTFITS AS SELECTED BY MEN

As far as the worst date outfits, the men gave a thumbs down to outfits with minimal effort, ones that were too trendy, mis-matched, Woodstock glam, and striped with a pop of color.

Here were the top 2 losers according to the Match and Finery poll

Minimal Effort

men's worst date outfits

Trend Overload

Men's Worst Dating Outfits

Former E! News Correspondent, blogger and stylist, Alicia Quarles, commented on the fashion survey and said,

“Our poll results don’t exactly prove that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, we actually found that both genders agreed on the best date look, and that men don’t care about the latest trends or high fashion.” Quarles continues to say, “They want to see a woman’s figure—and less women dressing for other women on a first date (i.e., in very fashionable outfits which are on trend, but that don’t necessarily show off everything). Through this, we’ve realized that men just want to determine all lines of attraction on a first date, including physical attraction, so outfits that don’t show a woman’s shape can potentially complicate things.”

So does it matter what you wear on a date? Absolutely. You have that split second to make a first impression and I think the choices selected by men and women are feminine and memorable, both online and IRL.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 23 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter

 

Pucker Up – It’s National Kissing Day

5 Ways to Create a Great Date Night - Cyber Dating ExpertPucker up! It’s National Kissing Day, so if you’re still on a high from Fourth of July fireworks, there’s no need to let the flame sizzle.

Every year on July 6th, singles and couples will have a good excuse to become more romantic and flirty for this annual holiday. It’s time to get creative, both on the lips and in the desired location of that memorable kiss.

In honor of International Kissing Day, our friends at online dating site Match have partnered up with Colour Pop with a “Kiss + Tell” Survey, which showed that 84% of singles really enjoy kissing, with most experiencing their first kiss between the age of 13 – 16.

Other kissing survey results include:

Ideal Kiss

The TOP 3 spots to be kissed?

  • At sunset (48%)
  • Moonlight stroll (46%)
  • The beach (37%)

How long is the perfect kiss?

  • 20 % of singles agreed that 10 seconds is the amount of time for the ideal kiss.
  • 70% of singles say BAD BREATH has definitely ruined a kiss.
  • 70% of singles say a bad first kiss is NOT a deal breaker.
  • 75% of single women and 53% of single men say they CLOSE their eyes during a kiss.
  • The second most romantic place to be kissed is on the neck.

Lipstick Rules!

  • Nearly 1/3 (30%) of single women say they’ve actually had more success landing a first kiss while wearing lipstick!
  • Nearly 1/3 (30%) of single men say a great make out is when they have a woman’s lipstick on their face.

Celebrity Kisses
Women:

  • Kanye vs. Drake: DRAKE (86%)
  • President Trump vs. Former President Obama: OBAMA (82%)
  • Prince William vs. Prince Harry: HARRY (64%)
  • Chris Hemsworth vs. Liam Hemsworth: LIAM (58%)
  • Dev Patel vs. Aziz Ansari: DEV (58%)
  • Ryan Reynolds vs. Ryan Gosling: REYNOLDS (52%)
  • Brad Pitt vs. George Clooney: BRAD (51%)

Men:

  • Taylor Swift vs. Miley Cyrus: TAYLOR (82%)
  • Gigi Hadid vs. Bella Hadid: GIGI (60%)
  • Jessica Alba vs. Jessica Biel: ALBA (60%)
  • Kim Kardashian vs. Khloe Kardashian: KHLOE (55%)
  • Beyonce vs. Rihanna: RIHANNA (55%)
  • Emma Watson vs. Emma Stone: STONE (51%)

Top 3 TV show hosts singles would want to kiss:

Women:

  1. Jimmy Fallon (28%)
  2.  Ryan Seacrest (22%)
  3. Trevor Noah (18%)

Men:

  1. Megyn Kelly (35%)
  2. Kelly Ripa (28%)
  3. Savannah Guthrie (11%)

National Kissing DayIn honor of National Kissing Day, Match and Colour Pop created limited edition lipstick, Mwah, a raspberry red ultra-matte lipstick, plus $1 of each lipstick purchased will be donated to GLAM4GOOD Foundation, for only $6.

Check out these special lipsticks here: ColourPop.com/mwah

If you’re away from your sweetheart, remember to send a few digital hugs and kisses XOXO’s via text on your mobile phone to celebrate International Kissing Day. Remember that a goodbye kiss can be more important than the hello kiss and leave a wonderful memory to the end of your date.

What’s your kissing style? Do you have your own kissing dos and don’ts? A dream spot for that first kiss?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter

 

Julie Spira on KTLA With New Mobile App Features

Many thanks to KTLA’s Rich DeMuro, who interviewed me for this fun segment on mobile dating on Tech Report.

We talked about new features on mobile dating apps to speed up your search to find a Valentine’s date. Watch this video to learn about the latest tips to better your odds on Match, Bumble, and Tinder apps.

Mobile dating apps are all the rage. There are new niche dating apps to help you find a Valentine.  Are you making the most of these popular and apps?

READ MORE: KTLA: Original Post: Matchmaking Apps Add New Features To Help You Find a Date Fast

MATCH – The world’s largest dating site has been rolling out new features for their members.

  • Top Spot – For $2.99, your profile will appear at the top of a search for 60 minutes. Match says you’ll get three times more views with this feature.  You’ll also appear the in top 6 search results when members are searching for someone like you. You can view the countdown of the time remaining during your Top Spot session.  They actually show you the photos of who has viewed you in your search. You’ll also receive an activity summary via email once your session has expired.
  • Missed Connections – This free mobile only feature helps you fill your date card faster after you’ve crossed paths with them. You’ll be matched with others who could have been in the same restaurant, supermarket, etc.  You’ll have to opt-in to use this feature on your mobile app when it appears. Match says this will be less creepy that the old Craig’s List “Missed Connections” (we hope so). It’s similar to Happn’s location-based app, which is solely based on matching you with people you’ve crossed paths with. The trend of meeting IRL is important to dating apps and sites, to avoid ghosting, breadcrumbing, or just endless chats.

READ MORE: Match Adds New Missed Connections Feature

BUMBLE – This bumble bee hive apps let’s women make the first move. I call it the “Sadie Hawkins” of digital dating. Users set their distance and age parameters and start viewing matches. A simple swipe to the right says you’re interested. A swipe to the left says you’re not. If both parties swipe right, you’ll appear in the match queue, where the woman needs to strike up a chat within 24 hours. Once the match gets notified, they have to reply in 24 hours to get the chat going. If you swipe left in error, don’t worry. You get three free “backtracks” a day,  where you shake your phone to see the photo you swiped left to.

READ MORE: KTLA: Original Post: Matchmaking Apps Add New Features To Help You Find a Date Fast

Bumble Boost, their paid service, has a variety of pricing levels of one, three, or six months, or one year. 

Bumble Boost has some fun premium features including:

  • Beeline: You’ll see people who’ve liked you when you open up the app, instead of waiting to swipe right through profiles.
  • Rematch: You can get matched again with someone you didn’t have time to start a convo with. Those profiles will have a grey circle around them.
  • Extended Rematches: If you’re a busy bee, you can have unlimited extensions on your match. But then again, if you have time to open the app and extend, why not just say hello?

READ MORE: Bumble Makes Men Reply or Match Disappears

BumbleVid is their newest feature.  You can post 10-second videos to your profile that will be deleted in 24 hours.  I call it dating in a snapchat world.

TINDER – Tinder is losing the perception of only being a hook up app.  Tinder reports that 80 % of their users are looking for something more meaningful. Plus they’re seeing 1.4 billion swipes a day!

  • Smart Photos: This new feature will select your best photo and make it your primary profile shot. So if that selfie in the mirror doesn’t cut it, it will be moved to a secondary photo. It’s great because your best face will appear in a search.

READ MORE: Tinder Love Story: Adriana and Dave

Tinder Plus: This premium service costs about $9.99/month.  You’ll get unlimited swipes, as compared to the free service. You’ll can also get back your last left swipe with their rewind feature, as often as you like.

  • Passport: Planning a trip and looking to fill your date card before you arrive? Passport allows you to add other locations to search for and to appear in a search. Remember, dating apps are location-based, so your searches will show where you’re hanging out now. Just add a new city in a search and it will be on your Passport in your settings.

At the end of the digital day, there are an enormous amount of mobile dating apps. The average person using dating apps has downloaded 3.5 apps.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Need a little help with your dating life? Find out how our Irresistible Coaching will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @Julie Spira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter

 

 

iPhone vs. Android, It Makes a Difference on Who You’ll Date

KNX Match Singles in AmericaAs I’ve been digging through the wonderful nuggets of data in the 7th Annual Match Singles in America Study, one that sticks out and makes me wonder why, is the debate between iPhone users versus Android owners. When CBS Radio asked me to weigh in on the subject on KNX – IN DEPTH,  we had a lively discussion (Transcript at the end of this post).

Here’s the question about the big digital elephant in the room.

Are singles with iPhones really judging their dates if they carry an Android phone or have a cracked screen? Apparently so.

Here are some fun facts from the Match survey,

  • iPhone users are 21 more times likely to judge Android users
  • Android users are 15 times more likely to negatively judge an iPhone use.

Let’s take it a step forward as your date card will be empty if you don’t upgrade or fix that cracked phone. The survey said that iPhone users are critical of other iPhone users if their phone is an older model, to the tune of 56% saying you won’t get to a second date. Ouch.

If you have a flip phone or a cracked screen, you’re at the bottom of the digital dating totem pole, so head to the store and upgrade and fix that screen now.

The survey on mobile phone issues found:

  • 15% of adults could think twice about dating someone with a cracked screen
  •  86% of women are more likely to negatively judge a man for having a cracked screen.

And if you’re texting with that clicking noise, STOP now. The survey said boomers hate the audible key clicks, so head to your settings and stop the noise to get more dates.

READ MORE: Match Singles in America Survey Says Put Your Phone Away

#ICYMI, Here’s the transcript of the radio interview with Charles Feldman and Chris Sedens on CBS/KNX Radio.

Charles: There’s a study that finds that single people who have an iPhone don’t want to date someone who has an Android phone. Apparently that’s not all. With us now to discuss this is author and expert on cyber-dating, Julie Spira, Julie, what else do we know about iPhone users and the people they don’t want to date?

Julie: Well it’s interesting to know that there’s research that shows that the stigma shows that iPhone users maybe made more money than Android users.

Charles: Maybe they’re poorer than Android users because iPhones cost so much.

Julie: Especially when we upgrade every two years! I think this is all really interesting because it shows that daters have become picker about subjects such as technology and politics. Certainly pickier than even what your date is wearing.

Charles: So seriously, you have these two people let’s say and they meet at Starbucks or something, because that’s where they meet, and one takes out an iPhone to text and the other takes out an Android phone and they look at each other and go, nope, not for me.

Julie: People are doing that. Probably millennials are doing it more than boomers are, but they shouldn’t be taking their phone out on a date anyway. That phone belongs in your purse or your pocket. 

Charles: You know I’m taking it a step further than I probably should, but I believe I read somewhere that President Trump carries an Android. I use an iPhone. Now, not that he’s on the market, or whether I am or not, but you say it comes down sometimes to people with iPhones make more money, I’m guessing the President makes more money than I do.

Chris: Are you saying you wouldn’t date President Trump?

Charles: I’m just saying he uses an Android; he’s a billionaire.

Chris: Oh, alright.

Charles: I think that kind of blows that one out of the water Julie. I can’t help but think, if you’re an attractive person and you see somebody, there’s a lot of people listening this who think this is hooey.

Julie: Right. It should be ridiculous. You shouldn’t say I can’t go on a second date with you, because we don’t share the same interests in technology or phones. I think another point that’s so big on this study which came from Match.com, nearly 15% of  adults that are currently dating, they won’t date somebody with a cracked smart phone screen. So if you’ve got an old phone, you might not get a second date.

Charles: So let’s say we get past the phone stuff and maybe they both have iphones, and so they go on the date and they are happy and they go back to one place or the other and then they discover that one has a MacBook and the other has a dell. So is the relationship then off?

Julie: No the relationship is not off. We really can’t be that superficial about the kind of technology our partners have. I think the more inclusive we can be about everything we can be in life, including technology, the happier we can be. So don’t sweat the small stuff. If you have chemistry and a lot in common and similar values, let someone have a different type of phone and be happy about it.

Charles: Julie, Thank you. Julie Spira, she is an author and expert on cyber-dating. “You’re Beautiful you’re the woman of my dreams. Oh you’re using an Android. NEXT.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for online dating and mobile dating advice.

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Julie Spira speaks to Dr. Drew Midday – Do Millenials Really Date?

Dr. Drew Match Study

 

 

 

 

 

It was a fun and informative radio show interview on Dr. Drew Midday Live with Mike Catherwood on KABC Radio in Los Angeles.

Drew, Mike and I spoke about all the juicy details on the Mach.com’s 7th Annual Singles in America Survey. Our segment is 20:25 minutes in, to hear the playback.

LISTEN HERE TO DR. DREW MIDDAY LIVE ON KABC

Transcript

Dr. Drew:  We’re going to go out to Julie Spira now. She’s a national online dating expert. Match.com has their 7th Singes in America Survey. Julie Thanks for joining us.

Julie: Hi! Happy to be here guys.

Dr. Drew: So what does this survey teach us?

Julie: A lot more than any of the others. I have monitored all of the Singles in America studies, but this was one was a biggie the 7th. Anything from millennials’ attitudes towards sex, politics, feminism, you name it. So this was was really talking about things that. Online dating addiction.

Dr. Drew: Oh I saw that.

Julie: People are addicted to online dating.

Dr. Drew: 15% say they are addicted to the process of online dating. Are they also addicted to going on the dates and finding the dates and meeting different people?

READ MORE: Help! My Friends Say I’m Addicted to Online Dating

Julie: Well I think the good part is they actually do go on the dates and meeting people, but they’re overwhelmed by the process. In the results, some have a little burn out and they need to take a break.  But at the end of the day, it’s very very efficient. With over 50% of singles have created an online dating profile, so say so long to that old stigma.

Dr. Drew: There is another sort of bit of this data that caught so wind this morning and that is 1 3 singles said they had sex before their first date and they’re 48% more likely to have had sex before the first date than all the other generations. And that some people interpreting as the millennials feeling that sex was sort of an interview to determine if they want to date. And I said, that might be the data but it’s missing the point, which is that millennials don’t really date. If they’re going to quote dating, they’re going to have to have a relationship, so sex is the way of leading into the relationship.

Mike: Why am I as old as I am?

Julie: I look at it as digital foreplay. If they’re having sex before they’re meeting, they’re obviously sexting and  if that’s the qualifier to say now I’m willing to meet you in person because now I think we’re in a relationship, I find that a little of concern. I really do. The old fashioned courtship..

Dr. Drew: Courtship is gone. We have to call it something else because they recoil against that. I think we should call it an assessment process or something. They need to have the capacity to assess people but Julie hold on, I need to talk to my partner here. Why do we need to assess?

Mike: Why is it that courtship will be gone? By no means am I a super-refined guy, or the pinnacle of gentlemanly behavior. I took pride in opening the doors for women, taking them out on a date and bringing them flowers.

Dr. Drew: That’s different than courtship. I have to take a break, but Julie, I want to address this issue of courtship. By the way, the twitter handle for you?

Julie: @JulieSpira and CyberDatingExpert.com.

Dr. Drew: That’s j-u-l-ie-s-p-i-r-a, but Mike, the reason you’re as old as you are is because you were not partaking in all of this, for if you were partaking in all of this, you wouldn’t make it out alive.

Mike: ….All joking aside, I might have started to proceed into, grow into much more dangerous behavior.

Dr. Drew:  Oh, it would have been part of the addictive process.

Mike: I had numerous partners a day, commonly, without tinder. Before Tinder was even invented. Can you imagine if I could order a ho like pizza?

READ MORE: Match Singles in America Study Says Put Your Phone Away

Dr. Drew: Midday Live Dr. Drew With Mike Catheter. We’re talking on 790 KABC and we’ll be back with Julie Spira and the Match survey after this.

Dr. Drew: Let’s go back to Julie Spira. She’s a Match Online Dating Expert. Julie, what is your website again?

Julie: It’s CyberDatingExpert.com

Dr. Drew: Courtship. So why have we expunged courtship? I remember back when I was a youth. It was sort of not cool. The whole idea in the 50s we were specifically rebelling against. And then against now, we have just never recovered from that. And it’s just continuing to deteriorate and then here the three of us are going, “courtship is important.” Why are we not doing that?

Julie: I think people are doing that. We’re finding the boomers are still opening the doors, grabbing that bill first, and picking up the phone and actually calling somebody to go on a date instead of relying solely on their mobile phones.

Dr. Drew: Texting. Yeah. And the millennials are all over the place too. Not all of them are necessarily even dating. Not a lot of them are even having sex compared to previous generations. And when they are, they’re doing it sometimes in sort of aggressive, I don’t mean aggressive in sort of the act, but aggressive in the sense of tactics. So it’s hard to figure out. I’ve been going to college campuses for years and saying, “Please restore courtship. Whatever you want to call it. Restore something where there’s an assessment process, no?

Julie: I agree and the good news is it’s not all doomsday. It is good news. 81% of the singles surveyed said they were interested in finding a romantic partner, a romantic love. Love is alive and well. We’re just looking at millennials, who in my opinion aren’t sure whether they’re hanging out or on a date.

Mike: We definitely saw that in the end of love line where how many guys were confused on where they stood with the girls. Like wildly confused.

Dr. Drew: What do you mean?

Julie: They don’t know how to define dating. Did you ask her on a date? Did you pay for the bill?

READ MORE: Are We Dating Or Just Hanging Out?

Mike: We’ve never actually been in the same room together, but we’re in love. That was a lot of guys, or they would hang out with a girl and she maybe just had pure intentions of being friendly. They liked each others’ company and he thought they were boyfriend and girlfriend. That happened all the time. I got a very clear message when I was 20. But I also took aggressive tactics as well.

Dr. Drew: Oh really? Talk to us about that as well. What happened?

Mike: I don’t think we want to talk about that. Drew, I told you my tactics.

Dr. Drew: I know. (laughing). I just realized it. We can’t talk about it on the air. You know Mike, I think things are improving. To be fair, I guess you were a lone ranger with that stuff.

Mike: I was. I was a rogue warrior

Dr. Drew: Alright. Any other data we want to focus in on here Julie before we let you go?

Julie: Well I think it’s really important to talk a little about FOMO. The fear of missing out. Social media is really causing a lot of anxiety for singles and they’re afraid to post a photo unless they look absolutely gorgeous, because everything is about the photos. I find that really interesting because social media anxiety disorder is something I talk about a lot. So if you feel anxious about social media, take an unplugging day and go back to it the next day.

Dr. Drew: That’s interesting. Yes. Social Media Anxiety Disorder. One day it will be a diagnostic. Because you have anxiety when you don’t use it, you have anxiety when you do use it, you have anxiety for fear of missing out when you’re on it, yeah, it’s really good for mental health.

Julie: Who doesn’t count how many likes they have after posting a photo?

Dr. Drew: Alright Julie. Thank you so much again. @JulieSpira is the Twitter handle, correct? Twitter and Instagram @JulieSpira and of course the website CyberDatingExpert.com, where’s there’s a whole ton of free dating advice, so take a peek.

Mike: Let me just say,  I found this conversation very In-SPIRA-ing.

Julie: Oh I love that, thank you.

LISTEN TO THE FULL SEGMENT HERE

READ ABOUT THE MATCH SINGLES IN AMERICA SURVEY HERE

 

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