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This New Tinder Feature Will Help You Stand Out

Tinder Boost

Are you tired of swiping right on Tinder and waiting for a match to appear? Do you feel like you’re in a numbers game and it’s no longer fun to play anymore?

If you feel this way, you’re not alone.

Tinder has announced on their blog, a new feature rolling out called ‘Tinder Boost’ to help you appear at the top of a match search. This new feature will help you “skip the line,” so they say and will allow you to be viewed as a top profile for 30 minutes to increase your chances of getting a mutual match.

Related: Why You Won’t Delete Tinder When You’ve Found The One

Here’s how Tinder Boost Works

1. Make sure you’re in Tinder Mode (turn off the social feature)

2. A pop-up will appear asking if you want to skip the line.

3. Sign up for Boost and you’ve got 10 minutes to be in premium mode.

4. Watch the countdown clock and make sure you make the most of your 10 minutes.

5. Start matching, chatting, and meeting IRL.

Related: Bumble Makes Men Reply or the Match Disappears

P.S. Tinder Plus members get one free boost a week, so we suggest you use it on a Sunday or Monday night, where singles have either had a weekend of bad dates or were dateless and want to change that before the upcoming weekend.

Tinder’s sisters dating sites/apps Match and OkCupid are already charging singles to appear during peak hours and the Bumble dating app also has a boost premium feature.  The Tinder mega mobile dating app is now testing their boost service in Australia and will hopefully be in the U.S. soon.

Will you pay more on a mobile app to appear higher in a search?

Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.

For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram, and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Quote of the Day

Ghosted Quote

Quote of the Day: “When you get ghosted, be happy they’re on a one-way ticket with no return address.”
~@JulieSpira

Many of you have been victims of ghosting. As the ghosted expert, I can tell you I’ve spent hundreds of hours helping singles whose boyfriend or girlfriend disappeared with no explanation. There is no closure and you might find yourself wondering what you’ve done wrong.

Read: Is Your New Boyfriend Ghosting?

I’m here to tell you that ghosting is an epidemic and over 80% of millennials have admitted they have either ghosted or been ghosted by someone they had been seeing. This doesn’t make it right.

Read: Most Millennials Have Been Ghosted

If you are one who has been ghosted recently, be glad they’ve taken a one-way ticket out. Ghosters typically do reappear again. Hopefully you’ll have moved on by then and won’t even remember their name.
If you need closure on your ghosting experience, reach out to us to share your story and we’ll hold your hand and bring back the confidence to get back on that dating saddle.

Read: Ghosted for the First Time

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

For dating and relationship advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt to get dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Read: Confused, Is he Ghosting?

 

What to Do if Your Boss Sees Your Dating Profile

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowIt’s bound to happen, you nervously put up an online dating profile with the hope of finding someone special to date, and suddenly it’s spotted by your boss, your neighbor, parents of friends of your kids, co-workers and more.

As a dating expert and coach, I’ve seen this happen to many of you. In my relationship column on Bikini, a female reader asked this question.

Q: I caught my boss checking me out on a dating website? I’m not sure if I should be excited or disturbed

A: Of course your boss is on a dating site or a mobile app. So are you and over 50 million other singles, including people who don’t know about your relationship status. It does feel like a creepy boundary issue, doesn’t it?  Chances are your boss was scrolling through hundreds of profiles photos in your geographic area and your familiar face popped up on the screen or on his mobile phone, so it was natural to take a peek at your profile.

So many sites allow you to see who has viewed your profile, so this isn’t unusual. Before you start comparing bad dates with your superior, my best advice is to ignore it. Then take matters into your own hands and block your boss from viewing your profile. I call it digital housekeeping. This way he or she won’t appear in your search and you won’t appear in theirs.

Both of you now know you’re on the same dating site and it could be just as uncomfortable for him or her as well. If your boss happens to mention viewing your profile, don’t have a meltdown. Just say, you’re single and dating and can’t think of a better way to meet someone outside of work than by joining an online dating site and mobile dating apps.

At some point, you’ll meet an amazing guy and will be taking your profile down anyway.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Do you have a question for online dating expert Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

SIGN UP for our FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for quotes about love and romance.

August is National Romance Month

National Romance Month

Although love and romance is a 24-hour a day 7-day a week topic, in the hot steamy month of August, romance does gets an extra boost.

To celebrate National Romance month, here are some uber romantic things to do for your date so they’ll be thinking about you all day long, while waiting for date night.

Here are seven ways to ramp up the romance

Cyber Love
As one who spends a lot of time helping singles with their mobile dating and online dating profiles, I can’t help but stress that logging on and swiping right are one of the simplest ways to think about romance and relationships. When you log in daily, take extra time to compliment someone on his or her outfit. Let them know you think they have an incredible smile and always use their first name if you know it. You’ll be surprised how quickly the boomerang effect will take place. You’ll feel like romance is just a click away.

Digital Foreplay

I’m a huge fan of sending romantic text messages leading up to your date. Sending a fun and flirty morning text message letting your date or significant other know that you’re excited about your date with a few xoxo’s will definitely add some romance to your love life.

Read: 20 Flirty Text Messages to Capture His Heart

Leave a Love Note

There’s something old fashioned and sexy about seeing a surprise love note on your pillow or in your bathroom drawer from the object of your affection. The best part, it’s a keepsake and can be looked at during the days and nights in between your next date.

Smile and be Confident

Believe it or not, you actually feel happier and more confident even when you’re smiling while on the telephone. Nobody can imagine romance with a “Debbie” or “Donnie Downer,” so smile at the grocery store, while standing in line at the bank or waiting for your turn at the ATM, or in an exercise class. You’ll come across as happier and don’t be surprised if a few heads turn.

First Date Rules – Be Proactive for Romance

Being passive on a date doesn’t help you in the romance department. Sure you don’t want to be too aggressive, but a survey from dating site Zoosk showed the squeaky wheel gets the romance deal with 34% of singles finding it most romantic when their date plans a surprise activity for their first date, with 27% liking to hold hands on the first date and 25% actually enjoying it when their date leans in for that first memorable kiss.

Schedule Date Nights

If you already have a steady loved one, you know how often relationships can end up in a rut after the first three months. When the honeymoon period starts to wane, if you’re not dating your mate and creating romantic memories, it’s easy for the relationship to fizzle out. Pick the same day each week and take turns selecting your date spot. You don’t have to break the bank, especially during Romance Awareness Month, as there are plenty of free concerts, where you can bring a picnic basket to or take the beach walk that so many swear they can’t wait to do.

Read: 5 Ways to Create a Great Date Night

Take that Beach Walk

Cliche as it may seem, many singles write that they enjoy taking beach walks on a date. Stop dreaming about it and schedule it with your date. Being barefoot on the beach with your toes in the sand is still the ultimate romantic date.

What romantic rituals help you in your relationship?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Mobile and Online Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been creating Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene for over two decades.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

Why Does My Boyfriend Still Chat Online

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowDear Julie,

I’m frustrated with something happening in my relationship and hope you can help.

Can you please help me understand what my boyfriend means when he says, “He misses chatting to girls, because he enjoys their conversations more than male conversations.”

He added that he also misses the fact that he can talk to them without people jumping to conclusions.

Do you think he misses being single and having the excitement of taking to new girls? We’ve been dating for almost a year and we’re very similar and haven’t been in a fight as yet, because we usually talk through things before it becomes a problem.

Many thanks,

Anneline

———————————————————————————————–

My Dear Anneline,

As a dating expert, I can tell you that your boyfriend clearly needs the validation that other girls still like him, even if he is hopelessly devoted to you. I don’t know if the two of you met online or out-and-about, but it’s clear to me that he’s keeping his options open. Perhaps he’s insecure or just got addicted to online dating and can’t take his profile down.

I don’t know if he’s chatting on social media sites such as snapchat, Facebook, WhatsApp or actually has a profile on Tinder or Bumble and is chatting that way. Either way, I look at chatting and flirting with other women when you’re in a relationship as a bit of emotional cheating and a larger case of insecurity.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Many years ago, I had a boyfriend who I met online. When it was time to take out profiles down, we did it together and agreed to be exclusive. Everything seemed fine, except one day later, he admitted that he was having a digital withdrawal of women no longer looking at him online. He wasn’t writing back to them, nor was he scheduling dates. He had been online for so long that disconnecting became painful to him. He loved having the digital ego boost of a woman writing to him or viewing his profile. He got over it, but it caused him stress.

If your boyfriend is on a dating app and chatting, it’s grounds for breaking up. He can chat to “friends” on facebook without telling the world he’s on a dating site and available.

The reason that men don’t even like to change their relationship status, is because until they’ve committed totally, they don’t want to feel that they will never sleep with another woman ever again. I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s fairly accurate.

Let your boyfriend know you don’t mind him having female platonic friends and that you have male platonic friends as well. But be clear, you’re not interested in being with anyone who wants to keep his options open, so unless the people he’s chatting with know about you or you’re mutual friends, you have a right to tell him flat out that it’s disrespectful to you. Ask him how he’d feel if you were flirting with other guys pretending you didn’t have a boyfriend. I doubt he’d like that either.

I’m not saying you should break up, but let him know that you’re a woman who deserves to be respected and he should refocus his flirting behavior and chats and direct them at you.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie

Do you have a question for online dating and mobile dating expert Julie Spira? Send your dating and relationship questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram for dating advice and sign up for our FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

Tinder Tales on The Tomorrow Show

Tomorrow ShowIf you missed our live stream on The Tomorrow Show with Kevin Undergaro on AfterBuzz TV, we tackled the subject of how difficult it can be while dating, using mobile dating apps, and finding a meaningful relationship.

In this segment, we were joined by several single daters with stories that will have you ROTFL.

I chimed in on what the daters were doing wrong and critiqued some online and mobile dating profiles.

Without further digital ado, and before swiping left or swiping right on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or more, watch our segment below for lessons and laughter of #TinderTales.

The dating segment starts at 1:07 below.

Spoiler alert: The best story was saved for last.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 2 decades. Julie’s Swiping Right program helps singles make the most of their Tinder profiles, regardless of their dating goals.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

Badoo’s Selfie Feature May Prevent a Catfish

Selfie dating

Selfies. Love them, love them not.

While selfies aren’t your best photos to appear on your online dating profile, your potential dates do want to know exactly who you are and if you resemble your profile pictures.

For this reason, our friends at Badoo have created a new feature in their mobile dating app called the “Selfie Request.”

According to their press release, the new selfie feature allows women to request a photo from a male user after they have received an initial message to confirm that their potential match is genuine and using a real photo. From there, a male user can either send the requested selfie or decline.

Women who come to us for Irresistible Profiles and Dating Coaching are fearful at times that the date will be like someone they’ve viewed on MTV’s ‘Catfish,’ or their potential date will be misrepresenting themselves in some way. While we believe online dating is mostly safe for both men and women, any feature that adds comfort to the process is one where we’ll give a thumbs up to!

A Pew Internet Research survey showed that over 54 percent of online daters have felt that someone misrepresented themselves on their profile. So ladies, go ahead and request a selfie from a potential date.

Online and mobile dating safety is important to both men and women. Currently the selfie request feature is only available to women, but in time we hope they add the feature for men to use as well.

So request away and have fun with their new mobile app feature.

Guys, don’t decline the rest, or your chances of getting a date with her will be zero.

Are you using selfies on your dating profile?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram and sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt for dating advice.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s a bestselling author and as an early adopter of the Internet, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out more about how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Photo credit: Fotolia

 

7 Online Dating Photo Tips to Rock Your Summer Profile

Match tells us things will be heating up this summer online, specifically on June 27th, the busiest day of the summer. They asked me to write a post for their blog with some tips to freshen up your online dating profile for summer.

As someone who’s been creating dating profiles for two decades, I can tell you that neglecting to refresh your profile and keeping it stagnant might result in an empty date card. Ouch. It’s summer and you should be having fun, right?

Since you switch your wardrobes for the summer season (out with the wool and in with the white), let’s do the same with a digital facelift for your online dating and mobile dating profile photos.

Photos

Men and women are visual creatures by nature, it’s just a fact of life! The first thing we see about anyone is their face, so profiles without even one photo will be passed over in a digital moment.

  1. What’s the number? Besides your main profile photo, you should have a handful of other pictures that depict you in different settings and showcase your personality. In my opinion, five is the magic number of photos to upload to your profile. Four to six is perfect. Anymore, post them on social media instead. Any less, and someone will wonder what you’re hiding.
  2. Grab a BFF and Have a Photo Party. Don’t like taking pictures of yourself or find it impossible to decide on the best pictures of you? One fun and easy way to snap more pictures of yourself is to grab a best friend and either a digital camera or high quality smartphone camera. Then, put on a your own fashion show by shopping in your closet and picking out 3-5 great outfits that make you feel your best!
  3. Use Social Media Photos. Another tip is to head over to your Facebook profile and grab your best, smiling/happy pictures to add to your dating profile. Make sure to caption the photos with the location and date the photo was taken so members will know they’re recent.

 

4. Wear red! For the ladies, you should ditch the little black dress so you don’t look like every other profile photo. Research from the University of Rochester has shown that photos of women wearing red get more views and more dates than any other color. Red is the color of love and passion, so it’s a no-brainer!

5. Ditch the selfies. We are dating in a selfie-crazed world, so it’s more than normal for your Instagram feed to be loaded with fun selfies. However, for your dating profile, selfies don’t always make you look your best or most social. Have someone you trust to hold your phone when you have the urge to take a selfie for dating profile purposes.

6. Look to the left. Studies have shown that when you look to your left, your best emotions will shine. However, if you’re looking to the right in your favorite photo, that’s no problem! Just use some photo editing software or a simple photo editing app to reverse the image to get a left side-facing photo.

7. Wear summery outfits. Find something fun, colorful, and summer-like to wear in your profile shots. A well-fitted t-shirt and jeans works well for the guys, whereas ladies do best in a flirty sundress. To speak more to the season, take down the snow skiing shots and replace them with photos that show summer-based activities, like water skiing or lounging by the pool. That said, try to avoid posting any sort of swimsuit picture — you don’t want to show too much too soon.

To read the full post with more tips, check Match.com’s blog here!

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and as an early adopter of online dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.  Julie ranks as the most influential person in “dating” and “online dating” in social media. Follow her @JulieSpira on TwitterInstagram, and Facebook and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

Bumble and Spotify: A Musical Match That Will Work

Bumble SpotifyIt appears Bumble has been adding new features to their popular mobile dating app.

First they added gifs from gifphy to up users flirt game, which we adore, but aren’t sure how many people are using them.

Then it was the BFF, where you can find a friend (non-romantic) to hang out with. I actually saw a billboard on freeway on the way to Coachella, so they’re serious about making it a social networking app.

Then they announced that men also had 24 hours to reply to a message from the women to potentially prevent ghosting.

Now on their blog Bumble has announced they will be partnering with Spotify to bring music preference integration to user profiles. This is music to my digital ears and is a marriage I’m quite happy about.

We actually recommended Tastebuds as a potential dating app earlier this year for music lovers.

Here’s how Bumble’s music integration works:

Bumble will allow users to connect their Spotify accounts so that potential matches can view their most played artists and see what music tastes they have in common.

Bumble CEO and founder, Whitney Wolfe, told TechCrunch, “Music says a lot about who we are as people and connecting culturally can serve a foundation for creating meaningful relationships,” so clearly, it was only a matter of time before Bumble and Spotify teamed up for this new feature.

Over the next few weeks, users will be able to connect their Spotify accounts to their profiles. If you’re interested in an artist on someone’s profile, simply click the artist to open Spotify and begin opening your ears (and your heart) to your potential online love’s music taste.

Bumble SpotifyThis update will not only provide users with more information about each other before they decide to swipe right or left, but it will also create a conversation starter. “I see Adele is one of your top played artists. What’s your favorite album?” is a great way to delve into your digital crush’s preferences and show interest in what they like to listen to.

If you’re worried about guilty pleasure artists or songs you listen to that you wouldn’t want a potential digital crush to see, you have no need to worry. The Verge reported that artists streamed during private listening sessions won’t be counted when calculating who your most listened to artists are.

This new Spotify feature will also help put music lovers at ease. If you’ve ever been nervous about handing a new love the AUX cord in the car, now you’ll know their music interests ahead of time and won’t have to spend time worrying if they can be trusted to DJ in the car.

Will you be adding Spotify to your Bumble account?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of online dating and as a celebrity dating coach, has been helping singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles coaching programs.  Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online .

For dating advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

Interested in improving your odds on Bumble or Tinder? Check out SwipingRight to help you find your dream date.

5 Social Media Apps to Help You Find Love

Looking for love online can be challenging and tedious.

Sometimes you’ll find yourself getting burnt out with online dating or tired of swiping right or left on your mobile phone.

When you’ve tried every mobile dating app and website out there and feel you’ve exhausted all of your options when nothing works out, it’s time to switch things up a little and move on to something a bit more unconventional.

The next best place to find a great date online is through your social media accounts, where you’re hanging your digital hat more often.

That’s right, by dating and flirting using Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, you can connect with friends, long lost friends (and loves), and even friends of friends.

Related: Love Reunited: Our Second Chance at Love

Aside from the most popular social media sites, there are a few you might be missing. Here’s a list of five non-traditional dating apps to help you find a new digital crush.

Yelp1. Yelp

Yelp is an extremely social website and easily allows you to connect with singles in your area. All you have to do is search for your favorite bar or restaurant and scroll through the reviews until you find a particular reviewer that piques your interest. Yelp allows you to look at reviewers’ profile pages, which is good for finding out a little more about your potential crush. If you find someone who looks interesting to you, send them a message through Yelp and you could just end up on a date at that bar you both reviewed!

Available on Desktop, iOS, Android

GolfMatch2. GolfMatch

This new app is designed to help golf lovers connect to each other and go golfing together. GolfMatch helps you find like-minded golfers at local courses to share your experiences with. You can even set up a golf game within the app! You can find golfers you’re compatible with based on age, skill level, location and home courses. Your profile will display all of your posts and your golfing background, and you can even post pictures and videos of your golf experiences – think of it like Instagram for golfers!

Available on iOS

Snapchat3. Snapchat

Snapchat is a fun messaging app for sharing moments with your friends. You can take photos or videos, add a captions, and send it to a friend or add it to your Story to share with all of your friends. Snaps sent directly to friends can last up to 10 seconds, while posts on your Story last up to 24 hours. Snapchat may not seem like a conventional way to find love, considering most of the people you may have on Snapchat are your friends, but just think about if a friend of yours has ever posted or sent you a Snap and you noticed someone cute in the background…what would have happened if you’d Snapped them back and asked for that person’s name? Maybe they would’ve added you on Snapchat if they were single and thought you were cute too. You never know until you try!

Available on iOS and Android

Related: 5 Dating Apps That Aren’t Tinder

Yik-Yak4. Yik Yak

Popular on college campuses, Yik Yak is a free social networking app that lets users post brief comments to a message board accessible by any user within a 5 mile radius. The app is completely anonymous and you don’t have to create an account to use it. Yik Yak is perfect for missed connections! Maybe you walked past someone cute on campus, you smiled at each other and kept walking, but you noticed they were wearing a shirt supporting your favorite sports team and wanted to connect. Post a “Yak” and say “To the girl wearing a Dodgers shirt I walked past in the quad earlier, I thought you were really cute. Wanna meet in the same place tomorrow to grab coffee?” You might think this wouldn’t work, but Yik Yak does have some success with unintentionally helping potential couples meet up through the help of the Yik Yak community.

Available on iOS and Android

Venmo5. Venmo

Andy Verderosa from Thrillist says that “In addition to being one of the most game-changing apps of the last half-decade, Venmo boasts arguably the best social feed on any network.” Venmo allows you to send and receive money with friends quickly and without charging you a fee, making it easy to split dinner, send a birthday gift, pay your roommate for bills, or pay friends back for buying you drinks.

The platform operates like a social media feed and shows you your friends interactions with each other, as well as with their friends that you don’t know. Switch over to your friend feed and look at interactions between friends of friends. When you find someone that suits your fancy, check to make sure they’re in your area, then send them a private transaction. The only way to message someone is by sending them money, so you’ll have to send them a small amount (maybe enough for them to buy coffee), then say they caught your eye and you were wondering if they’d be interested in meeting. There’s always the possibility they could deny you, but at least you tried! And you can always get it refunded they turn you down, just make sure you set the transaction to private so that all of your friends don’t see your attempts in case it doesn’t go well.

Available on iOS and Android

At the end of the digital day, any social media platform can be a dating platform if you like. Just remember to be respectful toward others and make sure you don’t come across as weird or creepy. Also, keep in mind, you might not know someone’s relationship status from these sites and they might not have an interest in being approached anyway.

Don’t get your feelings hurt if they don’t respond or if they turn you down – just keep trying again.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been coaching singles for over two decades.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

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