In this episode of Words,Wine and Women, Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker Julie Spira teaches Tara the attorney and Beth the single mom digital dating tips on what to post in their profiles when starting Internet dating and using mobile dating apps for the first time.
Watch this episode if you think the following:
1. If you’re looking for a commitment and only dog-lovers apply.
2. You think there are only creeps online.
3. You want to feel safe with Internet dating.
4. You’re not sure which sites to try.
5. You aren’t sure what types of photos to post.
6. You need help in creating a buddy system.
7. You need tips on what to talk about on a date.
Find out the difference between all of the many dating sites now.
Are you ready to have an Irresistible Online Dating Profile to attract your dream date?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has appeared in over 600 news stories with her online dating advice. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
If you’ve spent hours-and-hours swiping left and right in search of your dream date, you’re not alone.
The latest known celebrity to join Tinder is the lovely Hillary Duff, who spilled the digital beans in a radio interview on “Valentine in the Morning” in Los Angeles. The blonde-haired beauty filed for divorce from her hockey player husband earlier this year and entered the Tinderverse to get back on the saddle.
What does Hillary say about being on the hottest mobile dating app?
She’s says she’s never been on a blind date and is looking forward to her first date tonight.
Duff admits the whole process is “wildly addicting.” She’s talking to about 9 guys now and gives her input on why she swipes right.
To get a date with Duff, she says that the guy must be funny and make her laugh. She’s bringing a few friends on her date and so is her date. So it’s a group date.
The audio of the interview is below.
Need help with your Tinder profile? Check out our Swiping Right service to help you with your Tinder profile and to fill your date card.
Follow @JulieSpira for online dating and mobile dating advice.
Now that we’ve changed the clocks to daylight savings time, it’s time to think about sunset dates, changing your wardrobe to lighter colors and getting out to smell the digital roses.
It’s springtime and we all know that Spring fever is in the air and many singles are hoping to find love this season, or at least fill their date card.
With this in mind, here are some online dating tips and advice to help ramp up your cyberdating search for the new season.
It’s time to turn up the volume and download a few mobile dating apps and start flirting. By now most of you have either used the hot mobile app Tinder, where you swipe to the right to connect with a potential date, or swipe to the left to send them into Internet heaven. It’s time to join the digital party. We can help you with our Swiping Right service to tweak your Tinder or other mobile dating profile.
Don’t forget the mobile versions of the dating sites you already belong to. If you’re a member of eHarmony, JDate, Match, OkCupid, PlentyOfFish, Zoosk, or other dating sites, make sure to keep the push notifications on so you can find a date in a digital minute.
Log on Twice Daily
Take one hour twice a day and log on to your favorite dating site or scroll through your mobile dating apps. Did you know that just having your profile appearing as online often will raise your visibility in a search to potential dates? Ready, set, log on.
Turn on Chat
Whether you’re on Facebook or are on an Internet dating site, make sure your settings are configured for you to be able to chat with someone IRL. Download Facebook Messenger on your mobile phone if you haven’t done so and start chatting with someone you might have a digital crush on. Every time you hear that chime on your phone or computer, it just might bring a smile to your face.
Cast a Wider Net (and Zip Code)
Not getting much activity in your inbox? Expand your search from 15 miles to 60 or even 200 miles. If you find the one, it’s worth the commute, or even relocating for love. Are you limiting yourself to searching for a narrow age range? Revise your search parameters by 10 years. That’s right, 5 years lower and 5 years higher than what you’ve already been looking for. If you’ve upgraded to Tinder Plus, their new feature allows you to add a new location to search in, so if you’re planning on visiting New York, you can add that location to start getting matched with singles in another city. By the time you arrive, your date card should be filled.
Reorder Your Photos
If you have 3-5 of your favorite photos on your profile and can’t find time to grab a new one from your Facebook page, change the primary photo so your profile looks fresh. When you get the time, add a few more recent shots, wearing something colorful and retire those photos that are 5 years old, or more!
View and Hotlist Profiles
Some people just don’t like writing emails or making the first contact. If you’re a bit shy about initiating contact, view profiles of those you might be interested in and check out your suggested matches. Chances are they’ll see that you’ve viewed them and will contact you if they’re interested in you. Take it one step further and rate them with 5 stars or put them on your hotlist. Often they’ll be notified, will be flattered, and you just might put a date on your calendar.
If you still need some help to make your profile stand out from the rest, contact us about our Irresistible Profiles to help you find your dream date.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love on the Internet for 20 years. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, join us for #DateChat on Thursdays at 5p/PT, 8p/ET, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter, and visit our Facebook page.
Photo credit: Fotolia.com
In this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a reader has a huge dilemma. Her partner thinks she’s looking for other options on Tinder, when she knows she hasn’t been using the mobile app. Did she get busted or did technology get the worst of the situation?
We moved into a house together and we met via Tinder.
He received a message from his friend saying he saw my Tinder account saying that I was active three days ago. It was a shock to my partner and myself as the day I was ‘supposedly’ on Tinder was the day I spent four hours driving around and moving into the new house and the rest of the day I had a dead mobile phone due to using all the battery on the GPS.
Is there any type of way that my Tinder profile could say I was active when I wasn’t using it as it is quite hard to prove that I was not on it?
The Tinder app was uninstalled on my phone months ago and I have not downloaded it recently, so I am wondering if there is any way that something could have happened to make it ‘active’ when I had not used it? My partner and I had had a few fights last week but as I explained to him when we have arguments I straight away confront him and try to sort it out on the spot so we sort it out and don’t have to be angry or upset. He believes me because he knows that is what I do and that I’m not the type of person to go and download a dating app due to a few small fights. So I am in need of some help with explaining how my profile was active when I wasn’t using it. I know I didn’t go on it and he also believes me but we do both think it suspicious that my tinder account says it was active 3 days ago.
I’m sorry for your Tinder dilemma, but am glad to hear you met someone special on their mobile app.
Having a partner think you’re looking for options when you’re moving forward in your relationship can make anyone feel uncomfortable.
Often mobile apps run in the background on different mobile phones.
As I don’t work for Tinder, I don’t know exactly what happened in your case.
If you removed the app from your phone, it’s still considered an active app and you will appear in searches as a potential match.
The only way for you not to to appear in a search, is if you completely deactivate your Tinder profile. Removing it from your phone just isn’t enough.
Remember, if you permanently delete your account, all of your matches and communications will disappear. In this case, it’s probably a good thing.
I think both of you should go through this exercise together in an effort to move forward in good faith.
1. Download the Tinder app again on your phone.
2. Open the app and click on the gear in the upper left hand corner.
3. Click on “App settings.”
4. Scroll down and click “Delete Account.”
5. You’ll see a message that will say “Account successfully deleted.”
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Do you have a question for Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and helps singles by creating their Irresistible Profiles. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for online dating and mobile dating advice and join in the conversation for #DateChat on Thursdays at 5p/PT, 8p/ET.
Need help with Tinder? Check out our Swiping Right service to maximize your Tinder profile and experience.
We’ve heard about the upcoming launch of Tinder Plus for months now and it’s finally launching, as reported in TechCrunch. So far, it’s been tested in the UK, Brazil, and Germany.
So what will the difference be for Tinder users and are YOU willing to pay $9.99 a month if you’re under 30 and $19.99 for if you’re 30 and over, for the added bonus of being able to rewind your last swipe if you accidentally swiped left instead of right? Will you start receiving limited matches with the free version? Some of these questions are unknown, but here’s what we do know for now.
The new Tinder Plus has some added features including:
1. Rewind – Have you ever swiped so fast that you swiped left on a profile and have had swipe-regret? I hear from men all the time frustrated with the lost profile. Now you can get that digital crush back with the hopes of finding a mutual match.
2. Change your location – Great if you’d like to connect with people before you travel. The free version is location-based, so you’ll have to arrive at your location to date on the fly. You can also expand your radius and cast a wider net.
3. Advertising free – Since Tinder Plus will be advertising free, you can assume the standard Tinder app will be filled with ads before you know it. This is their way of monetizing their millions of users on both the free app and Tinder Plus for a fee.
4. Unlimited Likes – You can like profiles, photos, and more to add to your swiping fun. After all, it is a game.
Tinder is expected to be an in-app experience, so you won’t have to download another version of Tinder Plus to upgrade your service.
Other free sites such as OkCupid offer a premium service called A List, which allows you to browse anonymously, get read receipts for emails, and change your user name, among other features.
RELATED: SWIPING RIGHT FOR LOVE
Here’s a fun video to watch about some expected features. The question is, will Tinder still be fun and easy to use? Will you pay $9.99 a month or more to change your experience or will you stay on the free version?
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5pm/PT, 8pm/ET. Julie helps singles find love online and from the convenience of their mobile phones. For more information on our Swiping Right program to help you find love on Tinder, click here.
Follow @JulieSpira on Tinder
Recently at the iDate Conference, I presented Tinder with the award of Best Mobile Dating App of 2015.
This award was well-deserved, considering two years ago, Tinder wasn’t a household word like Match and eHarmony has been for years for online daters.
In an interview with The New York Times, I told reporter Molly Wood that the increase in smartphone usage directly relates to the increase in dating app usage.
“People are dating on the fly, they’re dating in real time, they’re hooking up or meeting for dates, they’re doing both. Same day, same hour.”
So how did a perceived hook-up app become the hottest trend for singles looking for love online?
1. They penetrated the college marketplace.
These early adopters paved the way for others to jump on the bandwagon. In time, the demographics started to rise and millions of users were playing the Tinder game.
2. They made it easy to create a profile.
With no long questions to answer and no profile approval process, all one has to is download the app, connect to Facebook where it pulls your age and photos on Facebook, and add a short bio if you desire, however many ignore filling out the profile.
3. Set your preferences for distance and age parameters
Since Tinder is location-based, once you log on, it searches for potential matches close by. If you travel out of town, you’ll receive a whole new set of matches to make sure you’re not lonely at night.
4. Let the swiping and matching begin
Quite simply, you swipe right if you’re attracted to someone and swipe left if you’re not. If both of you swipe right, then you’re notified that you’re a match and can start communicating in their private chat feature.
Online dating and mobile dating are a numbers game. The more often you swipe, the more often you’ll have the opportunity to be matched.
5. State Your Intentions
We are living in a world of swiping left and right and the habit has become the norm for other popular mobile dating apps. In order to be successful on Tinder, you must start swiping and become proactive about communicating with your matches. If you’re looking to find a relationship instead of a casual fling, you must fill out the information bio page and clearly state your dating intentions. Women find it refreshing when a man says, “Not looking for FWB or a hookup.”
At the iDate conference, it was pointed out by Mark Brooks from Courtland Brooks that only 8% of women were swiping right while viewing profiles of men. Men on the other hand were swiping right as often as possible, with the hopes that they can be matched.
Tinder reports over 1 billion swipes a day and matches over 12 million people a day. But are they actually meeting IRL?
An interesting trend that we are noticing is that a lot of men are posting their age on Tinder as 100 years old. The trend of not honestly stating your age in online dating has been around for years, but to become a centurion on Tinder means you’ll have to change your age on your Facebook profile. There’s no way to change your age on Tinder. Facebook makes it difficult to change your age and discourages this process by limiting the amount of times you can do so. Still, I encourage truth-in-advertising.
As I told The New York Times, people who are using Tinder are also using other dating sites, sometimes paying for memberships. Having easy access to lots of different dates actually increases your odds of eventually finding a match. It’s making dates happen a lot more quickly and the more dates you go on, the better daters you become. Let mobile dating apps become your new best friend.
Are you swiping right on multiple mobile dating apps?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and mobile dating. Julie’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5pm/PT. Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Photo credit: Fotolia
I met my boyfriend on Tinder and we started dating three months ago.
We both agreed to take down our Tinder profiles. Actually it was his idea to do it first and I thought it was a great idea.
We’ve connected on a deep level and are even talking about living together, so I thought everything was great.
Last week, my girlfriend saw his profile on Tinder and it appears he went back on without telling me. He’s been secretive about things lately, complaining that he’s stressed out at work. I’m afraid I’m losing him. What should I do?
GF of Tinder Addict.
Dear GF of TA,
You’re not alone. Tinder is a fun game that singles play on their mobile phones. While it’s a great way to meet someone close by, it’s still a game. I know several couples who have left their Tinder profiles up and just enjoy chatting with others, without the intention of taking it any further.
Let’s start by saying your boyfriend did do something wrong. He rejoined Tinder without telling you. Most likely he knew there would be an eruption like a volcano if he suggested it. He would assume you’d think he was cheating on you, when he was just having fun swiping right and left on Tinder.
Do I know if your relationship is on the way out or not? Of course not. But you’re at a relationship milestone — the three month mark. The honeymoon phase of the newness in your relationship when everything is perfect is changing. The good news is, that you’re still together as a couple and are moving into the next phase. Three months is the time where couples decide do they want to go to the next step, which is beyond the casual stage.
My suggestion is to have a convo with your BF and ask him if he just likes looking at pretty faces. Believe it or not, he might just be viewing girls digitally the way that some guys stare at cute girls at a restaurant. If he says he’d like to see others, then believe him and reactive your profile as well and start dating. If he says he only has eyes for you, let him know how uncomfortable this is making you. Ask him if he can state his relationship status to “in a relationship” and that he’s looking for friends to chat with or take it down completely. If he’s willing to do this, then understand he looks at Tinder the same way as he would look at a video game.
I’m not saying it’s right and I’d be very unhappy if my boyfriend had an active dating or Tinder profile up while he was spending nights with me. If he refuses to state his relationship status, then you need to decide if you’d like to continue dating him and date others as well.
If he really doesn’t want to lose you, he won’t let his cell phone games get in the way of love. It’s time for some digital housekeeping.
Keep me posted.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Do you have a question for Julie Spira? Click here to submit your dating questions.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and helps singles find love online and IRL. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
As online daters and those downloading the Tinder mobile dating app continue to watch Tinder explode, it’s no wonder that researchers, psychologists, and dating experts all have opinions on whether Tinder is helping singles or is just a game for people to play on their cell phones as they swipe left or right at the millions of profiles nearby.
On WCCO in Minneapolis, I spoke with radio show host John Hines about the pros and cons of Tinder, using mobile dating apps, and why I think Tinder can help women who are shy to connect with a potential date online and meet them offline.
Now let’s talk about the ‘Tinderella syndrome’ and if it really exists or not. Are women really suffering from spending too much time on Tinder? Is it affecting their ability to meet offline (IRL?)
The Daily Mail ran a story claiming that ‘Tinderella syndrome’ was ruining the love lives of women to the point that they wer unable to approach men in person offline. They went as far as saying that flirting techniques have been diminished due to the frequent use of the Tinder mobile dating app.
While psychologist Emma Kenny believes that online dating breeds impatience and insecurity since women are inundated with an abundance of potential dates that they become overwhelmed and stop investing the same effort into meeting dates offline.
Sure online dating is a numbers game and Tinder is responsible for over 10 million matches a day as well as 850 million swipes a day. Those are big numbers and it’s easy to fill your date card. Remember, not everyone on Tinder is looking for a love connection. Tinder’s founders believe that they are a social discovery app and that using the site an help make new friends with similar interests.
Some will use Tinder as a game and keep playing after a swipe or two. Others will take the time to read the profiles of potential matches before starting a private online chat that will hopefully lead to an offline meeting. Otherwise, you’ll just end up with a digital pen-pal, if that’s what you want.
Here are the reasons I don’t believe in the Tinderella Syndrome.
1. Mobile apps make it easier to connect with people close by. Those who are interested in meeting someone close by can easily log onto Tinder and view a profile instead of just swiping left or right to give a thumbs up on a profile. If the profile indicates they’re really looking to meet someone for a relationship, they can start chatting instantly if it’s a mutual match.
2. Almost 35% of married couples met online. A study from the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, showed that about 1/3 of marriages were as a result of online.
3. Pew Research states that 59% of Americans think that online dating is a good way to meet people. With over half of Americans thinking online dating is the way to go, remember that most singles are using mobile dating apps, which speed up the process.
4. Mobile dating apps and online dating sites help those who are shy communicate with potential dates. It’s my opinion that using dating apps and dating sites only helps those who are too shy to approach someone in a bar to say hello. By chatting online, I think self-esteem can be improved and communicating skills with potential dates will also become easier. The key is to take your relationship from online to offline and meet IRL.
5. Online dating stigma is pretty much gone. It’s a matter of time that the stigma for Tinder or mobile dating apps for hookups will also diminish. Already we are seeing many relationships of couples who’ve found love on Tinder.
6. If your mutual match isn’t communicating with you or interested in meeting, just move on. Tinder reports they are seeing 10 million matches a day and 850 million swipes per day. With all of that activity, it’s pretty easy to figure out who’s playing the game and who will want to meet. If their profile is rather empty and they only say, “hey,” it’s probably not going to become a meaningful relationship.
In my conversation with John Hines from WCCO – CBS Radio, I told him that Tinder is known to have a membership base of mostly 18-34 year olds. Many aren’t looking for a serious relationship and are hooking up. But some are truly looking for a new digital outlet to find a date or love.
Yes Tinder is like a game and it asks you to keep playing instead of suggesting that you meet in person. There will always be those who love the digital ego boost of flirting online, with or without Tinder. However, there will always be those who truly are looking for a connection. Tinder makes it easy to connect. It’s up to you to decide if the relationship is ready to move offline.
As time goes on, more-and-more singles in their 40s and up will also be using Tinder, due to the ease of creating a profile and the flexibility of connecting on the fly with singles in their geographic area.
Do you believe in the ‘Tinderella Syndrome?’
College Humor came out with a cute parody about Tinderella – a Modern Fairytale worth sharing.
Photo credit: College Humor
Julie Spira is an online and mobile dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She was an early adopter of online dating and mobile dating and helps singles find love on the Internet with her Irresistible Profiles programs. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
The Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt is now ready for your reading pleasure.
In this issue, we talk about everything mobile. From the girl who can’t get her boyfriend to take down his Tinder profile, to Match.com’s new Match 3.0 mobile app to Hinge mobile dating.
Find out why everyone is swiping right and swiping left these days to find a date, a friend, or even more.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for more on dating, love, and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
Sign up here for future issues of our Weekly Flirt.
Tinder-mania is everywhere it seems.
Tinder’s mobile app launched in Los Angeles less than two years ago, and it’s quickly becoming a household name.
Even Bravo’s Andy Cohen recently taught Larry King how to use Tinder!
At the recent Digital Hollywood gathering in Los Angeles, Tinder co-founder Justin Mateen was on a panel called, “The Coveted Captive audience – Engaging And Monetizing Through Mobile.”
Afterwards, I had the chance to catch up with Justin again to talk about the latest trends for Tinder.
The Future of Tinder
Tinder, as we know, has become the hottest mobile dating app, now experiencing over ten million matches a day and 800 million swipes per day.
“I think the misconception is that Tinder is a dating app,” said Justin Mateen – Tinder’s Co-Founder and Chief Marketing Officer during the session. “We consider ourselves a social discovery app, more of a competitor to social platforms,” Mateen added.
Tinder is now optimizing to connect new people. Mateen feels the value proposition is tremendous, which is why they’ve been able to grow so quickly. People are using Tinder for dating for the most part, but as time goes on, Tinder won’t be optimized only for dating.
“We are our own social platform and leverage other social platforms to the sense that it makes sense,” said Mateen. He boasted about Tinder’s 2000% growth last year. The average Tinder user spends ½ hour on the mobile app and they are growing by 10 times every day.
As of now, Tinder is not charging for their app or providing advertising. Their monetization strategy includes focusing on the user experience and growing the user base both domestically and Internationally. Their future plan will include in app purchases to enhance the user experience when it comes time to monetize. Mateen explained that their plans are to begin to test different forms or advertising on Tinder. “We want to make sure that it’s an organic ad and that our users can benefit from it.”
Not a day goes by when someone doesn’t come up to me to ask me about my thoughts on Tinder.
Several men I know of have actually felt distressed when they’ve swiped left instead of right and felt that they lost the match. Fortunately, Tinder has come up with a solution for that dilemma as the app provides a pop-up asking you if you’re sure you want to swipe left.
Others are in relationships and still won’t retire their Tinder profile. Is it a game?
Are you using Tinder?
Julie Spira is an online dating and mobile dating expert. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating, having created her first profile over 20 years ago. Julie’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and coaches singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.