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Fun Dating Ideas for a Rainstorm

 

Dating Rain Storm

Grab your umbrellas and galoshes. It’s raining. When it rains in Los Angeles, it’s a hard news story, especially with the current drought conditions

Growing up on the East Coast, I remember the first blizzards of the season happening about the same time as our current downpour in the ‘City of Angels.’

Last year, people panicked and filled up their pantries with food and water for the first blizzard of 2015. When #Snowmageddon was heading to the East Coast with record anticipated snowfall from New York to Boston, it was a major news story.

Now, we much have needed rain to fill our empty reservoirs and drop a ton of snow on the mountains to keep the ski resorts flourishing on the West Coast.

The phenomenon in Los Angeles when it rains has always mystified me.

Golf games are canceled, birthday lunches have empty seats, movie screenings are not well-attended, and those who dare to drive tend to slam on their breaks, so accidents are abundant when it’s raining outside.

Now to the subject of dating. Don’t cancel your dates!

Singles who have filled their date cards are probably wondering whether to cancel their dates or not. Don’t be a rain-flake. There are an abundance of songs about rain that are uber-romantic, so grab your umbrellas and mobile phones, but don’t change your plans, and please don’t cancel your dates.

Whether you stay in or go out, here are some dating ideas for a rainy day or night.

1. Go on a Skype or FaceTime Date

Get dressed up with what you’d wear on a date, and remember to put on your lipstick ladies. The two of you should pour a glass of wine or bubbly for the occasion. Date night is still on, it’s just a digital date.  Log on and have a virtual date rather than canceling your plans.

2. Answer these 36 Love Questions

A Modern Love column on the New York Times reads, To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This. These questions from Psychologist Dr. Aron suggest they can help you fall in love with anybody. Some questions include:

  • Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life
  • Tell your partner something that you like about them.

This exercise should help you get to know each other better and has been known to be responsible for some marriages.

Not sure if that’s realistic or not? Why not give it a try.

3.  Watch ‘Downton Abbey’ or Binge Watch on Netflix

Snuggled up with your date? Why not spend the day or evening binge watching some romance on Netflix. If you recorded the Season Premiere of  ‘Downton Abbey,’ it could be a perfect time to watch it together.  P.S. There are some romantic scenes in the first episode of season six.

4. Take a Walk Under an Umbrella

Men love to be protectors. Here’s your chance guys to show her your chivalrous side. Keep that date and take a walk with her, while keeping her dry. As your cuddled up together under the umbrella, you’ll be hugging and maybe even kissing. It’s worth not canceling a date for, believe me.

5. Send Each Other Songs About Rain

Stay digitally connected with music throughout the night. It’s fun playing ‘Name that Tune’ and even William Shakespeare said, ‘If music be the food of love, play on.” From “Bus Stop” by the Hollies to Led Zeppelin’s “Rain Song,” there’s a rainy day song just for the two of you.

Read 30 Great Love Songs About Rain.

6. Create an Indoor Scavenger Hunt

If the geography and transportation allows you to keep your scheduled date, a great way to make it fun and flirty is to create a treasure or scavenger hunt inside your home. To do this, place romantic clues in envelopes around your house and number them. At each location, there will be a love note with suggestions for a kiss, a back rub, a foot massage, or whatever your imagination will allow.

7. Write a Traditional Love Note

If your electricity goes out and the battery life has expired on your mobile phone, light a candle and grab and pen and paper. It’s time to get traditional and draft a hand-written love note. When you get together for your rescheduled date, hand him or her an envelope to open. You’ll be surprised how it will be received.

Will you be canceling your dates or be taking a digital approach to stay in touch?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Dating Profiles and coach singles on the dating scene. For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, and Instagram

 

10 Dating Resolutions for the New Year

Dating Resolutions 2015

New Year’s dating resolutions. Do you need them? Sunday, January 3rd was the busiest day of the year for online dating.

With the first full week of January filled with new hopeful singles joining online dating sites, it’s time to change the way you’ve been looking for love online.

With am estimated 25-50% of new members joining the weekend after New Year’s, it’s time to think about a realistic resolutions list when it comes to matters of the heart and digital dating.

From joining the gym to the latest diet craze, we come up with lists that are so unrealistic that even Wonder Woman couldn’t achieve half of the items on the checklist.

Match.com reports that during the first week of 2015, they’ll expect to have over 2 million singles logging on over 30 million times! Are you ready to take the digital plunge?

PlentyofFish expects signups to jump over 24% on Sunday, January 3rd with approximately 81,000 new people joining their site.

With numbers like these, when it comes to matters of the heart, singles need to become reflective and take a good look at their dating patterns to join the digital party.

RELATED: THE BUSIEST DAY FOR ONLINE DATING IS JANUARY 3rd

Here are some questions to ask yourself in the New Year

  • Did you date the same type of people over-and-over again?
  • Are you swiping left or right without looking at his or her profiles on mobile dating apps?
  • Did your relationships sizzle at the three-six month mark when the honeymoon phase was over?
  • Is your list of the traits of your perfect mate too big, too narrow, or just unrealistic?

Here are 10 suggestions and a list of resolutions to start fresh in the New Year.

Take a moment to jot down a list of those you dated in 2014.

Seeing the exact number of dates you went on will help you rethink your strategy. If you went on one date a month, you’ll need to increase the number of emails and swipes to send and respond to online.

Write down a list of the personality types to see where your patterns are.

We all have a type, but if you’re dating the same type of person over-and-over again and it always fizzles out, try expanding your search. Think about someone more adventurous, creative, or outside of your geographic area.

Beware if they seem too good to be true. 

Chemistry is great, but how many times have you had instant chemistry, thought he or she was ‘the one,’ only to have it end as fast as it started? It’s like being side-swiped in a car accident. Beware of the instant anything and give someone another chance and put a second date on the calendar.

Don’t get hung up on physical qualities only.

If you’re wondering why men often lie about their height, it’s because you posted on your profile that you’re looking for someone 6’0 tall. Understand that in the United, about 14.5 percent of all men are six feet or over. That leaves about 85% of the male population at under 6′. Ladies, give a guy a break and become more realistic.

Guys, are you wondering why women lie about their age? They believe you have a perceived notion of the way a woman will look at a certain age. These days, so many singles work out to stay in shape, but law of gravity can get the best of people physically. Be more open minded to someone with the kind heart, even if the scale is tipping a bit.

Date people you could be friends with first.

I have a rule when I work with my dating coaching clients. If the potential date is someone you could be friends with, the please schedule a date on the calendar. Having the foundation of a relationship based on friendship is key to everlasting love.

RELATED: 6 MOBILE DATING APPS TO USE IN 2016

Find someone you’d be proud to introduce to your friends and family.

Have you ever dated someone that most of your friends said, ‘buyer beware?’ Finding someone who blends in with your friends and who actually wants to meet them is important for the health of your relationship. Romantic nights together alone are important, but if he or she never wants to socialize with your friends, it’s probably not a good match.

Decide what similar interests are important – religion and values.

If you’re looking to start a family, find someone else who has the same goal. If you’re a single parent and want to blend your families together, date someone who also has children and is open to having a bigger family. If religion is important to you, join a niche site such as ChristianMingle,  JDate, or JSwipe. Make sure your search parameters on larger mainstream sites state your religious preferences to find someone who shares the same faith as you. Find out the relationship history with his or her parents and family and see if they are in sync.

Don’t play too hard to get and wait to long to respond to his or her email/text.

I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” When you play hard to get, the other person may lose interest or find someone else more who’s enthusiastic about getting to know you.

Watch how your dates treat the servers at restaurants.

Kindness is important in a relationship, but what happens when you’re out in public? If he or she treats the servers rudely, it’s a red flag. In this case, I say run, don’t walk.

RELATED: THE DATING EXPERT GUIDE TO BREAK UPS

Listen more than talk.

It’s normal to get nervous on a date or excited and want to tell your date all about your life story. I say, stop and take a big deep breath. Listen to your date and let them tell you what they’re looking for or what passions they have. No one wants to be on a date when it’s all about the other person. When you’re listening, chances are your date will tell you exactly what you need to hear, to determine if it could be a match or not.

Answering these questions will help guide you better to determine who you should be adding to your date card.

With online dating in peak season now through Valentine’s Day, finding a date shouldn’t be a difficult task.

Remember your time is precious and more isn’t always better. It’s not the race to the finish line that matters. Every relationship serves a purpose and helps you get closer to knowing truly what you want. While falling in ‘like’ or ‘lust’ at first sight is common, it takes multiples seasons to determine if you’re truly in love with someone; a person who will be with you when there’s the inevitable bump on the road.

If you meet someone that you truly connect with, I encourage you to open your heart, swipe right, be open to the possibilities, and give someone a second chance in case they were nervous on a first date. Love yourself first so you are able to love others.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam in 2016.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and was an early adopter of the Internet. She’s been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles. For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

The Busiest Day for Online Dating is Sunday, January 3

Dating Sunday Jan 3
Take a deep digital breath and get ready for the world’s largest digital dating party.

This Sunday, January 3rd will be the busiest day of the year for online dating. Are ready for the ride?

Every year, the Sunday after New Year’s is a reflective time for singles. Perhaps you were flying solo on New Year’s or were in a relationship that ran it’s course.

Either way, it’s time for a new beginning and the huge amount of new memberships to online dating sites will happen on the Sunday after New Year’s Eve.

Match reports that 24% more signups will occur on #DatingSunday with 8:52pm/ET being the most active time of the day. They see a 60% spike in new singles searching for love during peak season. With one million new dates happening during this period, those are numbers worth bragging about.

PlentyofFish expects 81,000 signups on Sunday and are expecting 2 million signups in the month of January. Singles who join during the first week of January, will find their partner an average of two weeks faster than those who sign up later, taking an average of just 10 weeks compared to an average of 12 weeks throughout the year.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, our phone has been ringing and the text messages have been flying. We know that it’s peak season now through Valentine’s Day, so grab your smartphone and download the latest mobile dating apps and get ready to fill your date card!

On the Match blog, I wrote about the peak dating period between Christmas and Valentine’s Day.

Here are some of the reasons why January 3rd is the busiest day of the year for digital dating.

Sunday is the most active day.

All year round at the end of the weekend on Sunday nights, it’s the busiest time for singles logging into dating sites. If your weekend date was so-so (or you were dateless), logging on to chat, flirt, and browse means opportunities to fill up your date card and start the week anew are plentiful. Multiply this big time with the start of a New Year, and you’ll see the activity soar.

A disappointing holiday can make you feel blue.

Emotions around Christmastime and New Year’s are at an all-time high if you’re single. Watching your friends post lovey-dovey shots on Facebook and Instagram or change their status to “In a Relationship” or “Engaged” can hit a nerve, big-time. It’s enough to make you scream, “Bah, humbug” and turn off both your computer and phone to unplug, but just temporarily.

Holiday breakups are high.

Some people stay in dead-end relationships so they won’t be alone through the holidays. It’s a dreadful feeling to know that you’re with someone you can’t see yourself going the distance with long-term. Thoughts of another New Year’s Eve with that feeling isn’t something you’ll want to repeat. Often, couples will break up right after the New Year, or even before Christmas, in order to not to go through another holiday with the wrong person. It’s normal for relationships to run their course, but when it happens at the holidays, it brings a whole new group of fabulous singles to the dating party at the first of the year. There’s a reason they say, “Out with the old, in with the new” at New Year’s.

If you find yourself in the middle of a break up, read my article on The Huffington Post, How to Break Up Gracefully.

New Year’s resolutions include finding love.

New Year’s Day is on a Friday this year. It’s the beginning of a quiet weekend and a time to reflect about the past year and come up with a list of goals for 2016. After watching football games and going to New Year’s Day parties solo, singles often think about new beginnings. From joining a gym to going on a diet, the list often includes finding someone to have a meaningful relationship with.

The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.

During peak dating season, Match reports that about 50 million messages are sent. Think about it. Wouldn’t you be happy to receive at least 10 of those emails from someone you could have chemistry with? Rather than sitting back and waiting for your inbox to fill up, remember that the more engaged you are, the greater chance you’ll have to fill up your date card. That means logging on several times a day so your profile stays active, viewing your daily matches every day and liking and messaging other members to start a convo, right now.

READ: Mobile Dating Apps You Must be Using in 2016

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Join Match.com with our 20% off promo code.

Find out how Swiping Right and Irresistible Profiles can help you find your dream date.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

6 Dating Apps You Should Be Using in 2016

Mobile PhoneIt’s safe to say this past year that went down in digital history as the year of swiping right and left for love with popular mobile dating apps.

Once singles got used to spending time on Tinder, the curiosity of newer released mobile dating apps got the best of them. If you thought you could find your soul mate on one of 5 mobile apps, would you download them to your smartphones now? I think so.

Here are 6 mobile dating apps recommended by Cyber Dating Expert that you should be using, right here, right now. It’s time to speed up your search and fill your date cards.

Ready, Set, Swipe!

Bumble1. Bumble – Android and iOs

Bumble is the mobile dating app which gives the ladies all of the control. I call it the “Sadie Hawkins” of digital dating. Created by Whitney Wolfe, a former co-founder of Tinder, Bumble is free to join. Users sign up from Facebook and then select their photos, distance they’re willing to search up to, and age requirements in the app.

How it works: Women view profiles of potential dates and they make the first move to select who to “like” by swiping right or who to “dislike” by swiping left.  If there’s a mutual like, you’ll get a pop up with the two of you that says BOOM! Connected. You both liked each other.

You then have the choice to click on “More Bumble” to see more matches, or “Start a Chat” so you can get the conversation going. Then, it’s up to the women, who have 24 hours to strike up a convo in the chat bubble on the top right of the app. Otherwise the match will disappear. Your current chats will appear in the “Conversations” section of the app until you decide to delete them.

The app also let’s you know when a potential match is about to expire. Did you swipe left by mistake? No problem. Their “Backtrack” feature allows you to shake the phone to get that last cute guy back in the game, but shake wisely. You only get three backtracks a day.

Why we like it: The ladies are enjoying being the one in control and let’s face it, the guys are competitive. They want to get selected and know they won’t be rejected if she starts the conversation.

Tinder2. Tinder – Android and iOs

We featured Tinder back in 2013, before swiping right became a household term. Tinder is the fastest growing location-based mobile dating app and Tinder-like apps are being launched every day. No longer the new kid on the block and not just for hookups. I know what you’re saying, you can’t say you met on Tinder, right? Singles are swiping left and right to the tune of 16 million swipes a day.

Related: Matt and Allee – They Met on Tinder

This year, Tinder announced Verified profiles since so many celebrities had joined the Tinder bandwagon. From Hilary Duff to your next door neighbor, everyone seems to be swiping. While Tinder is free, they launched a premium service, Tinder Plus, which costs between $9.99 and $19.99/month. Singles can now “Super Like” a potential match, giving them a digital heads up that they’re more than just a swipe away. Other premium features include “Passport,” which allows you to search in another city to help you fill your date card, before you hop on a plane or travel elsewhere.

Swipe regret? Premium members can also get back that last left swipe, just in case you swiped in error. New in 2016, Tinder will allow you to take photos on your camera roll and won’t limit you to using only photos that were posted on Facebook. Another new feature announced this year is the ability to send GIFS through GIPHY.  It ramps up your flirt, big time.

How it works. Users download the mobile app on their iPhone or Android phones and connect through Facebook to create a profile. You can set your distance and age range (from 18-55+)in the “Discovery Settings.” Users anonymously swipe through potential matches nearby. If you’re interested, you swipe right. If you’re note, you swipe left. If it’s a mutual match, you can start chatting in text message style directly through their app. Once you swipe left, that profile will never appear again. You can also decide to unmatch yourself from someone if the conversation has a lull or if you had a date that wasn’t worth repeating.

Related: Tinder Update Ignites GIFS and New Flirting Features

Why we like it: It’s simple to use, free, let’s you see your Facebook friends in common, and is the fastest growing mobile dating app. It’s also a fun way to make new friends, as not everyone is single. You can view a variety of potential dates in a digital moment and anonymously decide whether you’re interested in them or not. Tinder boasts 9 billion matches to date with over 10 million active users.

Hinge App3. Hinge – Android and iOs

Hinge is a mobile dating app that will only match you with friends-of-friends on Facebook and you can see where they work, as it pulls your data from Facebook. This is appealing to daters. Singles believe this app has less of a hookup tendency than others.

Coming on the scene as the more serious version of Tinder (or anti-Tinder), Hinge gives you a limit of 5 -15 matches a day and this limit creates value and appreciation for each potential match. Once you’re matched, you’ll have 14 days to start a conversation. Their new handy countdown clock will let you know how much time you have left to message your mutual match. Basically, you’ll need to exchange digits within their time limitations or the match will disappear.

Related: Hinge Says Goodbye to 24 Hour Timed Feature

How it works: Singles download the app and log in using Facebook. Once you confirm your location, you’ll start receiving matches. You can see who you are connected through on Facebook and can even ask your mutual friend what he or she thinks about your potential date. You can set your age preferences and check off some of your passions from their curated list.

Once you start receiving matches, click on the heart or swipe right if you’d like to make it a mutual match or click the X or swipe left if you want to decline. When you become a mutual match, you can start communicating through the app. Once you hit your match limit, you’ll be notified to check back and are encouraged to invite a friend to join Hinge. If you recommend a friend, they’ll send you more matches.

Why we like it: Their profiles include the first and last name of the potential date. It gives you a feeling of confidence knowing the person is genuine and authentic. Women love the app because it makes them feel safer while dating. Plus: There’s a 50/50 ratio of men to women.

coffee meets bagel4. Coffee Meets Bagel – iOs

CMB has won the hearts of many singles looking for love online, especially the women. Featured on Shark Tank, the creators, the Kang sisters turned down a $30 million offer from Mark Cuban to buy the company.

How it Works: Users sign up through Facebook to create their free profile. Every day at noon, you’ll receive one match (a bagel) from a friend-of-a friend. You then have 24 hours to “Like” or “Pass” on the daily bagel, or even give the match to a friend. If you miss one of your bagel dates, you can request to be rematched.

Users can visit the CMB bean shop to buy coffee beans to pay for upgraded services at the cost of $1.99 to $24.99, but can also easily win free beans by recommending a bagel to a friend and liking their social media pages. Once matched, you can then start texting with your match in a private chat, but remember to act quickly, as the chat is only active for 8 days.

Why we like it: For those of you who feel overwhelmed with too many choices, or are too busy to log on regularly, this is a more manageable dating app. Users look forward to receiving their daily “bagel” at lunch time. CMB believes your dating life, including your name, birthday and email should be private. They also claim that your friends are the best conduits for your dates, and that meeting quality people doesn’t have to be so awkward or complicated. It also feels like you’re playing a fun game, as you receive coffee beans when you respond to a match.

Happn5. Happn – Android, iOs, Windows Phone

Remember Craig’s List Missed Connections? Happn is a more modern day approach to matching with someone you’ve already crossed paths with, but never really connected. Every time you pass by a spot with another member IRL, you’ll get an instant push notification that another member is nearby and boom, you can meet instantly. Some may find it very efficient. Others may think it’s creepy, and might not want to meet after a sweaty yoga class. But then again, they wouldn’t be on this app if that were the case, so go ahead and be spontaneous.

If you think you might miss out on a digital crush who hangs in the same h0od as you, but are on the shy side, this app is for you. Note: The app was created in France and is available in 25 cities around the world. They are starting to expand in the U.S. and may not have rolled out in your city yet. New in 2016, Happn has added a voice feature, so you can hear the sound of your future date’s sweet nothings.

Related: Happn Adds New Voice Feature

How it works: Download the app and log in to Facebook, where yo can edit which information in your Facebook profile that you want to appear in your bio. You must enable your location services for the app to work. Every time you cross paths with another member, it will appear on your timeline feed. You can like someone’s profile by tapping on the heart button. If the feeling is mutual, you’ll be notified and you’ll be considered in the crush stage. You can also view how many times your paths have crossed.

If you want to take it a step further, men can pay to to send a charm. There is no cost to women at this point. Charms are similar to Tinder’s “Super Like” feature, except you buy them in a package. Each charm is equal to using one credit.

Why we like it: You won’t have to wonder about the one who got away. You can also now sync with Instagram to see your potential date’s feeds and interests.

TastebudsHonorable Mention – Tastebuds – iOs

There was a great Shakespeare quote, “If music be the food of love, play on.” Now you can celebrate #MusicMonday every day of the week with a potential date who has the same musical interests as you do. Concert dates can be a lot of fun and sharing music is passion that many have on their list as a must-have. With this in mind, although Tastebuds is a social networking app, we feel it belongs in the dating category as you can share playlists and more with your potential date.

How it works: Users can sign up easily through Facebook or via email. You can send a message bomb for free to eight of your matches. Your music library can be added or you can add your favorite artists and bands manually. Searches can be fun as you can search by the name of the band that you’re a fan of and within a certain age criteria. Within seconds you can be matched with someone who also loves Pink Floyd and the Beatles.

Why we like it? Perhaps I’m biased as a former music radio DJ, but music is a shared experience. Who would want to go to a concert with someone who didn’t know who David Bowie was?

Do you have a favorite mobile dating app that you’d like to share?

Julie Spira is an online dating coach and mobile dating expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the creator and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram. Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Find out how Swiping Right can help you find your dream date.

Read more mobile dating advice.

Check out our book trailer for the new edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Newly revised in 2016, the book includes bonus dating advice and a magical epilogue with a fairy tale ending.

Boyfriend is on Tinder. Should I Break Up

Boyfriend on TinderEvery week I seem to get asked a similar question from a woman whose boyfriend is still on Tinder wondering if they should break up.

Here’s Nina’s story.

Hi Julie,

I have been dating a guy for 3 months now and just this morning we had a conversation where I asked him if this is what he really wanted (committing to being in a relationship with me), and he said, “Yes, this is what I want. I love spending time with you, I love how you make me feel (…)”.

I created a fake tinder profile a couple of weeks ago and swiped right on him. To my dismay, I just checked it and he had matched with “me” (picture and name of a different person, hence the fake profile) 9 hours ago (this morning right before our conversation.

My question now is what to do. I don’t feel I can trust him now as he had before said he was not talking to or seeing any other women. I feel a little betrayed. Should I confront him about this and tell him how I found out, or let it slide, or break up? Honestly don’t know what to do.

Nina

Should She Break Up With Him?

Dear Nina,

I’m sorry you’re going through this relationship anxiety with your boyfriend. This is the top question I get from female readers. (See the other links in this article from other women). They find out their boyfriend is on Tinder and want to dump him or don’t know what to do. I appreciate your honesty on how the past month has developed with your boyfriend. Let’s talk about a few things. I’m here to help you, but this is going to be tough love my friend, so get ready.

  1. You’ve been in a relationship for three months.

Three months is still new for a relationship. It’s the honeymoon stage, where everything is fresh and exciting. It’s the perfect stage, as you haven’t moved into a routine. Many relationships breakup at the three-month point, as some people only like the beginning stages of a relationship and don’t want to get serious. From where he sat, he probably enjoyed dating you and hadn’t moved to a more serious stage yet. He wanted to look at options.

  1. You asked your boyfriend if he wanted to be in a committed relationship.

You were happy enough with him to want your relationship to be exclusive. You asked. He answered. He might have told you what you wanted to hear, but he didn’t come out and ask you first to be in a committed relationship, although he said he wasn’t seeing anyone else.

Chances are he wanted to see where the relationship was going to go and got caught up in the Tinder swiping game. It happens a lot. If you’re sleeping together, he also might not want to give that up. He’s a guy. It’s how men are wired. You also don’t know if this morning when he said he loved how he felt with you, that he had swiped for the last time and was ready to delete his Tinder account, right?

RELATED: HELP! I FOUND MY BOYFRIEND ON TINDER

  1. You created a fake Tinder profile after 2 months.

In all honesty, this is where the problem started. There’s a saying, “Seek and ye shall find.” Why did you create a fake Tinder profile to try to catch him? Probably because you weren’t sure he wanted to be exclusive with you.

Let’s talk about trust. It works both ways. You felt insecure about your relationship status early on and didn’t trust him. You wanted to catch him and behind HIS back, logged on as a fake person to see if he’d take the bait. It worked, he’s busted and now you’re unhappy. No guy wants to feel like his girlfriend is checking up on him, even if it’s innocent.

I’m not sure if you met on Tinder and if you took your profile down and he didn’t, but at two months, he probably wasn’t ready to be exclusive, or he would have said so. When a man wants a woman to be his, he does what it takes to make her is girlfriend. That includes taking down all dating profiles in good faith to see where the relationship will go.

The moment you think someone’s cheating or looking elsewhere is the moment you realize something isn’t right. Rather than seeing where your relationship would go over time, you tried to catch him, and you did.

  1. Tinder is a dating site with many users who aren’t single

Here’s a shocking fact. A GlobalWebIndex survey found that that 42 percent of Tinder’s members are already in relationships. Think about it. Almost half of the users are playing around on Tinder. Some are swiping only. Others are chatting only. Many are meeting and hooking up. Your boyfriend may be one of those 42%.

It would be one thing if someone in a relationship was on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram all of the time. They’re social networking sites. Many people are finding love on social media, but Tinder is a dating (and even known as a hookup) app. If you’re in a relationship and someone is active on a dating app, guess what? It’s wrong. I don’t care about the percentages, it’s wrong, period. Having an active profile on Tinder when you’re in a relationship tells the world that you’re single and looking. From your boyfriend’s perspective, he thought he was single and was keeping his options open. He also swiped on your fake profile before you had the conversation.

I understand that some guys and women too, like the validation they get when someone swipes right on their profiles. It’s a digital ego stroke. I also know that Tinder is like a game and people like to see who is out there and swipe right and never speak.

The problem Nina is something’s off in your relationship. You weren’t on the same page at the same time. If you trusted him, you wouldn’t have created a fake profile after two months. You know that a relationship is based on mutual trust. Without it, it cannot survive in the long haul.

RELATED: HELP! MY BOYFRIEND WON’T TAKE HIS TINDER PROFILE DOWN

  1. To Break Up, or Not to Break Up

I can’t tell you to break up with someone if you think he’s your soulmate. Something is missing in your relationship if he feels the need to communicate with women on a dating app. Something is also wrong in your relationship if you feel you need to check up on him. Something is wrong if he’s not happy with himself and needs the validation. The bottom line is, something is wrong.

He says he’s happy and loves spending time with you, which is probably true. But he’s also happy swiping right on Tinder.

I know if it were me, I wouldn’t put up with it. It’s a deal-breaker. I’d want to be in a relationship built on mutual trust. I can’t say if it’s a deal breaker for you, but as soon as you tell him you’ve busted him with a fake Tinder profile, or make up a white lie and say that someone found him on Tinder, I guarantee he will break up with you. You’re asking me if you should break up with him. I think you know the answer. The trust isn’t there.

So you can continue to be quiet and log onto your fake profile to see the exact moment he last logged on and make yourself sick in the process, or try to find someone who will think you’re amazing enough to ditch the dating apps to be in your arms. The choice is yours. I can only hope that you take your fake profile down and never create another one to try to snoop on a guy you really like.

I’m sorry you’re going through this now, but being on a dating site when you’re in a relationship is disrespectful. So is trying to catch him with a fake profile.

My best advice to you is as follows: The next time to have trust in a new relationship. Let it unfold naturally. Men don’t like being with an insecure needy person. If you felt the need to snoop, it was doomed.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

RELATED: DATING IN A TINDER WORLD

Do you have a dating question for Julie? Send your questions here:

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Find out how Swiping Right will help you find your dream date on Tinder and mobile dating apps.

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Top 10 Best Mobile Dating Apps

Mobile Dating

It’s 2015 and one thing is for sure, we’re dating in a mobile world.

So grab your Smartphones, as we’re proud to announce the annual Cyber Dating Expert “Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps” list for 2015 for your viewing and downloading pleasure.

Ready, Set Swipe! 10 Best Mobile Dating Apps

Tinder1. TinderAndroid and iOs

We featured Tinder back in 2013, before swiping right became a household term. Tinder is the fastest growing location-based mobile dating app and Tinder-like apps are being launched every day. No longer the new kid on the block and not just for hookups (I know what you’re saying, you can’t say you met on Tinder, right?), singles are swiping left and right to the tune of 16 million swipes a day.

Related: Matt and Allee – They Met on Tinder

This year, Tinder announced Verified profiles since so many celebrities had joined the Tinder bandwagon. From Hilary Duff to your next door neighbor, everyone seems to be swiping. While Tinder is free, they launched a premium service, Tinder Plus, which costs between $9.99 and $19.99/month. Singles can now “Super Like” a potential match, giving them a digital heads up that they’re more than just a swipe away. Other premium features include “Passport,” which allows you to search in another city to help you fill your date card, before you hop on a plane or travel elsewhere. Swipe regret? Premium members can also get back that last left swipe, just in case you swiped in error.

How it works. Users download the mobile app on their iPhone or Android phones and connect through Facebook to create a profile. You can set your distance and age range in the “Discovery Settings.” Users anonymously swipe through potential matches nearby. If you’re interested, you swipe right. If you’re note, you swipe left. If it’s a mutual match, you can start chatting in text message style directly through their app. Once you swipe left, that profile will never appear again. You can also decide to unmatch yourself from someone if the conversation has a lull or if you had a date that wasn’t worth repeating.

Why we like it: It’s simple to use, free, let’s you see your Facebook friends in common, and is the fastest growing mobile dating app. It’s also a fun way to make new friends, as not everyone is single. You can view a variety of potential dates in a digital moment and anonymously decide whether you’re interested in them or not. Tinder boasts 9 billion matches to date with over 10 million active users.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Hinge App2. Hinge – Android and iOs

Hinge is a mobile dating app that will only match you with friends-of-friends on Facebook and you can see where they work, as it pulls your data from Facebook. This is appealing to daters. Singles believe this app has less of a hookup tendency than others. Coming on the scene as the more serious version of Tinder (or anti-Tinder), Hinge gives you a limit of 5 -15 matches a day and this limit creates value and appreciation for each potential match. There’s also a new feature to give you a sense of urgency, as the match will disappear if you don’t message them within 24 hours. Their new handy countdown clock will let you know how much time you have left to message your mutual match. Once you send a message through the app, you’re notified that you have 14 days left to communicate. Basically, you’ll need to exchange digits within their time limitations or the match will disappear.

How it works: Singles download the app and log in using Facebook. Once you confirm your location, you’ll start receiving matches. You can see who you are connected through on Facebook and can even ask your mutual friend what he or she thinks about your potential date. You can set your age preferences and check off some of your passions from their curated list. Once you start receiving matches, click on the heart or swipe right if you’d like to make it a mutual match or click the X or swipe left if you want to decline. When you become a mutual match, you can start communicating through the app. Once you hit your match limit, you’ll be notified to check back and are encouraged to invite a friend to join Hinge. If you recommend a friend, they’ll send you more matches.

Why we like it: Their profiles include the first and last name of the potential date. It gives you a feeling of confidence knowing the person is genuine and authentic. Women love the app because it makes them feel safer while dating. Plus: There’s a 50/50 ratio of men to women.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Bumble3. Bumble – Android and iOs

Bumble is the mobile dating app which gives the ladies all of the control. It’s like the “Sadie Hawkins” of digital dating. Similar to Tinder, it’s free to join and users sign up from Facebook and can then set their photos, distance, and age requirements in the app.

How it works: Women view profiles of potential dates and they make the first move to select who to “like” by swiping right or who to “dislike” by swiping left. A popup will appear when you swipe left just in case you want to give a second look to a potential date. Mutual likes have 24 hours to strike up a convo in the chat bubble on the top right of the app, otherwise your match will disappear. Your chats will appear in the “Conversations” section of the app until you decide to delete them.

Why we like it: The ladies are enjoying being the one in control and let’s face it, the guys are competitive. They want to get selected.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Match Mobile4. Match – Android, iOs, and Amazon

Match.com has been helping singles find love online for 20 years. Their mobile dating apps are free to download. Users can create a profile, view profiles to see what shared interests they have in common, send winks, upload photos from their camera roll, snap a picture, or select photos from their Facebook photos.

How it works: Match allows you to search within your criteria or select from those they have matched for you in their “Daily Matches.” Daters can click the check mark button on the right to show their interest or the X button on the left if they’re not interested. Premium members are encouraged to write to their daily matches to have a greater chance of connecting. This year, Match began allowing singles to edit their usernames so they can post their real names to give more confidence and credibility to the daters. Singles can search with their “Discover” feature in the stream, or switch to “mixer” mode where the profiles appear to be more Tinder-like where you can swipe right to match or swipe left to take a pass. For an extra fee on top of your membership fee, you can now purchase premium features such as the “Top Spot” to help you receive 3x more views ranging from $2.00 to $2.99 or the new “Match IQ” for $1.99 for a 24-hour period, to help you decide when the best time is to reach out to a particular match you might find interesting.

Why we like it: Online dating is a numbers game and Match has millions of members to select from. You can be the one in control writing to singles you’re interested in, or allow their algorithms to do the work for you. Plus you can turn on text alerts and receive a text to your mobile phone when you receive an email from a potential date.

Download Match Mobile on Google Play or iOs

 

Plenty of Fish5. POF – Android and iOs

POF has become one of the largest free dating apps in the world. POF reports that over 80 percent of people who access POF do so from a mobile device. Their profiles are simple and they’re now in 70 countries around the world, in case you’d like to put a stamp in your Passport.

How it works: Users sign up for free and can search for singles from their mobile dating app using new filters such as education, height, body type, by user name, newest users or the last ones to log on. Their “Ultra Match” feature allows you to refine your matches by selecting who you are interested in and allowing their algorithms to find the best matches for you. As complicated as it sounds, it’s really quite simple. The “Top Prospects” feature is a favorite. They provide a list of singles you’ve been in contact with and believe that 50% of the time your future partner is in their Top 10 list. Add to it they believe that 17% of the time they will pick the exact person you will end up dating. With promises like that, it’s worth checking out. Premium or upgraded members can post up to 16 images and show up first on “Meet Me,” a Tinder-like swiping feature where you swipe right to vote yes or swipe left to vote no.

Why we like it: It’s free and there really is some digital magic going on with the “Top 10 Prospects” list.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

 

Grindr6. GrindriOs, Android

Grindr has made it to our “Top 10 Favorite Mobile Dating Apps” list every year. Let’s just say, they paved the way for mobile dating since their launch in 2009. Grindr is the world’s largest gay social networking app with over 2 million daily users in 196 countries.

How it Works: Grindr’s free service allows you to view up to 100 guys and match or block your matches. Grindr Xtra, their premium paid service, is ad-free and allows you to view up to 300 guys. It also comes with push notifications and extra search capabilities, even when the app is closed.

Why we like it: They paved the way for all of the other fun dating apps. Kudos to them.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

OkCupid Mobile7. OkCupid – iOs and Android

OkCupid is free and makes it easy to access the web version of their site on your mobile phone, as well as providing a mobile-only app that is location-based and simple to use.

How it Works: Users can sign in from Facebook or directly on the mobile app to find singles in their area or by search criteria. If you’re intrigued by someone’s photo, you can double tap on it to “like” it as a favorite and a star will appear. They also let you know who’s online now with a bright green dot in case you want to start chatting. The “Quickmatch” feature on the mobile app allows you to view profiles in a Tinder-like style where you can see who has liked you and turn it into a mutual match by clicking the star icon or swiping right. Not interested? Swipe left or click the X icon to take a pass. If it’s a match, you can visit their profile or send a message.

Their paid “A List” service gives you anonymous browsing and allows you to change your username. If you haven’t splurged on “A List” you can pay for their “Incognito” feature, where your profile is only visible to people you like or message. This feature also allows you to revoke a person’s access to your profile by “unliking” or hiding them. Another premium feature is “Rush Hour,” where during peak traffic times, you can boost your visibility for 15 minutes from $1.69 to $1.99 per boost. If you want to get automatically boosted once a day during peak hours, you can do so from $9.99/month to $19.99/month.

Why we like it: Having the match percentage listed on a profile photo makes it easy for those who are intrigued by the computer algorithms and makes you curious to find out why. Plus, those provocative questions you were asked to answer to determine match compatibility can be viewed on the mobile app.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

coffee meets bagel8. Coffee Meets Bagel – iOs

CMB has won the hearts of many singles looking for love online, especially the women. Featured on Shark Tank, the creators, the Kang sisters turned down a $30 million offer from Mark Cuban to buy the company.

How it Works: Users sign up through Facebook to create their free profile. Every day at noon, you’ll receive one match (a bagel) from a friend-of-a friend. You then have 24 hours to “Like” or “Pass” on the daily bagel, or even give the match to a friend. If you miss one of your bagel dates, you can request to be rematched. Users can visit the CMB bean shop to buy coffee beans to pay for upgraded services at the cost of $1.99 to $24.99, but can also easily win free beans by recommending a bagel to a friend and liking their social media pages. Once matched, you can then start texting with your match in a private chat, but remember to act quickly, as the chat is only active for 8 days.

Why we like it: Users look forward to receiving their daily “bagel” at lunch time. CMB believes your dating life, including your name, birthday and email should be private. They also claim that your friends are the best conduits for your dates, and that meeting quality people doesn’t have to be so awkward or complicated. It also feels like you’re playing a fun game, as you receive coffee beans when you respond to a match.

Download on Google Play

Download on iOs

eHarmony Logo

9. eHarmony – Android, iOs and Windows

eHarmony is responsible for over 438 people getting married every day. Their free mobile app provides similar features to the desktop version, including signing up for free, getting matches, and filling out the questionnaire. eHarmony reports that users tend to access their mobile apps 5+ times throughout the day, as compared to twice a day on the laptop or desktop computer.

How it works: Singles download the app and then create their profile. You can upload photos from Facebook, receive daily matches, and use guided communication for free. Premium paid members have the same functionality as the subscriber’s web version, where you can view photos, read and write emails, go through guided communication, and see when a match last logged in.

Why we like it: It’s simple to use and the added “What If” feature lets you consider someone outside of your preferences. After all, what we say we want on digital paper isn’t always what we need.

Download Google Play

Download iOS

Download Windows Store

 

Happn10. Happn – Android, iOs, Windows Phone

Remember Craig’s List Missed Connections? Happn is a more modern day approach to matching with someone you’ve already crossed paths with, but never really connected. Every time you pass by a spot with another member IRL, you’ll get an instant push notification that another member is nearby and boom, you can meet instantly. Some may find it very efficient. Others may not want to meet after a sweaty yoga class, but then again, they wouldn’t be on this app if that were the case. If you think you might miss out on a digital crush who hangs in the same h0od as you, but are on the shy side, this app is for you. Note: The app was created in France and is available in 25 cities around the world. They are starting to expand in the U.S. and may not have rolled out in your city yet.

How it works: Download the app and log in to Facebook, where yo can edit which information in your Facebook profile that you want to appear in your bio. You must enable your location services for the app to work. Every time you cross paths with another member, it will appear on your timeline feed. You can like someone’s profile by tapping on the heart button. If the feeling is mutual, you’ll be notified and you’ll be considered in the crush stage. You can also view how many times your paths have crossed. If you want to take it a step further, men can pay to to send a charm. There is no cost to women at this point. Charms are similar to Tinder’s “Super Like” feature, except you buy them in a package. Each charm is equal to using one credit.

Why we like it: You won’t have to wonder about the one who got away. You can also now sync with Instagram to see your potential date’s feeds and interests.

Download Android

Download iOs

Download Windows Phone

TastebudsHonorable Mention – Tastebuds – iOs

There was a great Shakespeare quote, “If music be the food of love, play on.” Now you can celebrate #MusicMonday every day of the week with a potential date who has the same musical interests as you do. Concert dates can be a lot of fun and sharing music is passion that many have on their list as a must-have. With this in mind, although Tastebuds is a social networking app, we feel it belongs in the dating category as you can share playlists and more with your potential date.

How it works: Users can sign up easily through Facebook or via email. You can send a message bomb for free to eight of your matches. Your music library can be added or you can add your favorite artists and bands manually. Searches can be fun as you can search by the name of the band that you’re a fan of and within a certain age criteria. Within seconds you can be matched with someone who also loves Pink Floyd and the Beatles.

Why we like it? Perhaps I’m biased as a former music radio DJ, but music is a shared experience. Who would want to go to a concert with someone who didn’t know who David Bowie was?

Download on iOs

Do you have a favorite mobile dating app that you’d like to share?

Julie Spira is an online dating coach and mobile dating expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the creator and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram. Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Find out how Swiping Right can help you find your dream date.

Read more mobile dating advice.

Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps of 2015

Mobile DatingI’m Julie Spira, founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp. Every year my team and I curate a list of the best mobile dating apps our single daters are using.

It’s time to grab your Smartphones, as we’re proud to announce the annual Cyber Dating Expert “Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps” list for 2015 for your viewing and downloading pleasure.

Ready, Set Swipe! 10 Best Mobile Dating Apps

Tinder1. TinderAndroid and iOs

We featured Tinder back in 2013, before swiping right became a household term. Tinder is the fastest growing location-based mobile dating app and Tinder-like apps are being launched every day. No longer the new kid on the block and not just for hookups (I know what you’re saying, you can’t say you met on Tinder, right?), singles are swiping left and right to the tune of 16 million swipes a day.

Related: Matt and Allee – They Met on Tinder

This year, Tinder announced Verified profiles since so many celebrities had joined the Tinder bandwagon. From Hilary Duff to your next door neighbor, everyone seems to be swiping. While Tinder is free, they launched a premium service, Tinder Plus, which costs between $9.99 and $19.99/month. Singles can now “Super Like” a potential match, giving them a digital heads up that they’re more than just a swipe away. Other premium features include “Passport,” which allows you to search in another city to help you fill your date card, before you hop on a plane or travel elsewhere. Swipe regret? Premium members can also get back that last left swipe, just in case you swiped in error.

How it works. Users download the mobile app on their iPhone or Android phones and connect through Facebook to create a profile. You can set your distance and age range in the “Discovery Settings.” Users anonymously swipe through potential matches nearby. If you’re interested, you swipe right. If you’re note, you swipe left. If it’s a mutual match,  you can start chatting in text message style directly through their app. Once you swipe left, that profile will never appear again. You can also decide to unmatch yourself from someone if the conversation has a lull or if you had a date that wasn’t worth repeating.

Why we like it: It’s simple to use, free, let’s you see your Facebook friends in common, and is the fastest growing mobile dating app. It’s also a fun way to make new friends, as not everyone is single. You can view a variety of potential dates in a digital moment and anonymously decide whether you’re interested in them or not. Tinder boasts 9 billion matches to date with over 10 million active users.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Hinge App2. Hinge – Android and iOs

Hinge is a mobile dating app that will only match you with friends-of-friends on Facebook and you can see where they work, as it pulls your data from Facebook. This is appealing to daters. Singles believe this app has less of a hookup tendency than others. Coming on the scene as the more serious version of Tinder (or anti-Tinder), Hinge gives you a limit of 5 -15 matches a day and this limit creates value and appreciation for each potential match. There’s also a new feature to give you a sense of urgency, as the match will disappear if you don’t message them within 24 hours. Their new handy countdown clock will let you know how much time you have left to message your mutual match. Once you send a message through the app, you’re notified that you have 14 days left to communicate. Basically, you’ll need to exchange digits within their time limitations or the match will disappear.

How it works: Singles download the app and log in using Facebook. Once you confirm your location, you’ll start receiving matches. You can see who you are connected through on Facebook and can even ask your mutual friend what he or she thinks about your potential date.  You can set your age preferences and check off some of your passions from their curated list. Once you start receiving matches, click on the heart or swipe right if you’d like to make it a mutual match or click the X or swipe left if you want to decline. When you become a mutual match, you can start communicating through the app.  Once you hit your match limit, you’ll be notified to check back and are encouraged to invite a friend to join Hinge. If you recommend a friend, they’ll send you more matches.

Why we like it: Their profiles include the first and last name of the potential date. It gives you a feeling of confidence knowing the person is genuine and authentic. Women love the app because it makes them feel safer while dating. Plus: There’s a 50/50 ratio of men to women.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Bumble3. Bumble – Android and iOs

Bumble is the mobile dating app which gives the ladies all of the control. It’s like the “Sadie Hawkins” of digital dating. Similar to Tinder, it’s free to join and users sign up from Facebook and can then set their photos, distance, and age requirements in the app.

How it works: Women view profiles of potential dates and they make the first move to select who to “like” by swiping right or who to “dislike” by swiping left. A popup will appear when you swipe left just in case you want to give a second look to a potential date. Mutual likes have 24 hours to strike up a convo in the chat bubble on the top right of the app, otherwise your match will disappear. Your chats will appear in the “Conversations” section of the app until you decide to delete them.

Why we like it: The ladies are enjoying being the one in control and let’s face it, the guys are competitive. They want to get selected.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Match Mobile4. Match – Android, iOs, and Amazon

Match.com has been helping singles find love online for 20 years. Their mobile dating apps are free to download. Users can create a profile, view profiles to see what shared interests they have in common, send winks, upload photos from their camera roll, snap a picture, or select photos from their Facebook photos.

How it works: Match allows you to search within your criteria or select from those they have matched for you in their “Daily Matches.” Daters can click the check mark button on the right to show their interest or the X button on the left if they’re not interested. Premium members are encouraged to write to their daily matches to have a greater chance of connecting. This year, Match began allowing singles to edit their usernames so they can post their real names to give more confidence and credibility to the daters. Singles can search with their “Discover” feature in the stream, or switch to “mixer” mode where the profiles appear to be more Tinder-like where you can swipe right to match or swipe left to take a pass.  For an extra fee on top of your membership fee, you can now purchase premium features such as the “Top Spot” to help you receive 3x more views ranging from $2.00 to $2.99 or the new “Match IQ” for $1.99 for a 24-hour period, to help you decide when the best time is to reach out to a particular match you might find interesting. 

Why we like it: Online dating is a numbers game and Match has millions of members to select from. You can be the one in control writing to singles you’re interested in, or allow their algorithms to do the work for you. Plus you can turn on text alerts and receive a text to your mobile phone when you receive an email from a potential date.

Download Match Mobile on Google Play or iOs

 

Plenty of Fish5. POF – Android and iOs

POF has become one of the largest free dating apps in the world. POF reports that over 80 percent of people who access POF do so from a mobile device. Their profiles are simple and they’re now in 70 countries around the world, in case you’d like to put a stamp in your Passport.

How it works: Users sign up for free and can search for singles from their mobile dating app using new filters such as education, height, body type, by user name, newest users or the last ones to log on.  Their “Ultra Match” feature allows you to refine your matches by selecting who you are interested in and allowing their algorithms to find the best matches for you. As complicated as it sounds, it’s really quite simple. The “Top Prospects” feature is a favorite. They provide a list of singles you’ve been in contact with and believe that 50% of the time your future partner is in their Top 10 list. Add to it they believe that 17% of the time they will pick the exact person you will end up dating. With promises like that, it’s worth checking out. Premium or upgraded members can post up to 16 images and show up first on “Meet Me,” a Tinder-like swiping feature where you swipe right to vote yes or swipe left to vote no.

Why we like it: It’s free and there really is some digital magic going on with the “Top 10 Prospects” list.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

 

Grindr6. GrindriOs, Android

Grindr has made it to our “Top 10 Favorite Mobile Dating Apps” list every year. Let’s just say, they paved the way for mobile dating since their launch in 2009. Grindr is the world’s largest gay social networking app with over 2 million daily users in 196  countries.

How it Works: Grindr’s free service allows you to view up to 100 guys and match or block your matches.  Grindr Xtra, their premium paid service, is ad-free and allows you to view up to 300 guys. It also comes with push notifications and extra search capabilities, even when the app is closed.

Why we like it: They paved the way for all of the other fun dating apps. Kudos to them.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

OkCupid Mobile7. OkCupid – iOs and Android

OkCupid is free and makes it easy to access the web version of their site on your mobile phone, as well as providing a mobile-only app that is location-based and simple to use.

How it Works: Users can sign in from Facebook or directly on the mobile app to find singles in their area or by search criteria.  If you’re intrigued by someone’s photo, you can double tap on it to “like” it as a favorite and a star will appear.  They also let you know who’s online now with a bright green dot in case you want to start chatting.  The “Quickmatch” feature on the mobile app allows you to view profiles in a Tinder-like style where you can see who has liked you and turn it into a mutual match by clicking the star icon or swiping right. Not interested? Swipe left or click the X icon to take a pass. If it’s a match, you can visit their profile or send a message.

Their paid “A List” service gives you anonymous browsing and allows you to change your username. If you haven’t splurged on “A List” you can pay for their “Incognito” feature, where your profile is only visible to people you like or message. This feature also allows you to revoke a person’s access to your profile by “unliking” or hiding them. Another premium feature is “Rush Hour,” where during peak traffic times, you can boost your visibility for 15 minutes from $1.69 to $1.99 per boost. If you want to get automatically boosted once a day during peak hours, you can do so from $9.99/month to $19.99/month.

Why we like it: Having the match percentage listed on a profile photo makes it easy for those who are intrigued by the computer algorithms and makes you curious to find out why.  Plus, those provocative questions you were asked to answer to determine match compatibility can be viewed on the mobile app.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

coffee meets bagel8. Coffee Meets Bagel – iOs

CMB has won the hearts of many singles looking for love online, especially the women. Featured on Shark Tank, the creators, the Kang sisters turned down a $30 million offer from Mark Cuban to buy the company.

How it Works: Users sign up through Facebook to create their free profile. Every day at noon, you’ll receive one match (a bagel) from a friend-of-a friend. You then have 24 hours to “Like” or “Pass” on the daily bagel, or even give the match to a friend.  If you miss one of your bagel dates, you can request to be rematched. Users can visit the CMB bean shop to buy coffee beans to pay for upgraded services at the cost of $1.99 to $24.99, but can also easily win free beans by recommending a bagel to a friend and liking their social media pages. Once matched,  you can then start texting with your match in a private chat, but remember to act quickly, as the chat is only active for 8 days.

Why we like it: Users look forward to receiving their daily “bagel” at lunch time. CMB believes your dating life, including your name, birthday and email should be private. They also claim that your friends are the best conduits for your dates, and that meeting quality people doesn’t have to be so awkward or complicated. It also feels like you’re playing a fun game, as you receive coffee beans when you respond to a match.

Download on Google Play

Download on iOs

eHarmony Logo

9. eHarmony – Android, iOs and Windows

eHarmony is responsible for over 438 people getting married every day. Their free mobile app provides similar features to the desktop version, including signing up for free, getting matches, and filling out the questionnaire. eHarmony reports that users tend to access their mobile apps 5+ times throughout the day, as compared to twice a day on the laptop or desktop computer.

How it works: Singles download the app and then create their profile. You can upload photos from Facebook, receive daily matches, and use guided communication for free.  Premium paid members have the same functionality as the subscriber’s web version, where you can view photos, read and write emails, go through guided communication,  and see when a match last logged in.

Why we like it: It’s simple to use and the added “What If” feature lets you consider someone outside of your preferences. After all, what we say we want on digital paper isn’t always what we need.

Download Google Play

Download iOS

Download Windows Store

 

Happn10. Happn – Android, iOs, Windows Phone

Remember Craig’s List Missed Connections? Happn is a more modern day approach to matching with someone you’ve already crossed paths with, but never really connected. Every time you pass by a spot with another member IRL, you’ll get an instant push notification that another member is nearby and boom, you can meet instantly.  Some may find it very efficient. Others may not want to meet after a sweaty yoga class, but then again, they wouldn’t be on this app if that were the case. If you think you might miss out on a digital crush who hangs in the same h0od as you, but are on the shy side, this app is for you. Note: The app was created in France and is available in 25 cities around the world.  They are starting to expand in the U.S. and may not have rolled out in your city yet.

How it works: Download the app and log in to Facebook, where yo can edit which information in your Facebook profile that you want to appear in your bio. You must enable your location services for the app to work. Every time you cross paths with another member, it will appear on your timeline feed. You can like someone’s profile by tapping on the heart button. If the feeling is mutual, you’ll be notified and you’ll be considered in the crush stage. You can also view how many times your paths have crossed. If you want to take it a step further, men can pay to to send a charm. There is no cost to women at this point.  Charms are similar to Tinder’s “Super Like” feature, except you buy them in a package. Each charm is equal to using one credit.

Why we like it: You won’t have to wonder about the one who got away. You can also now sync with Instagram to see your potential date’s feeds and interests.

Download Android

Download iOs

Download Windows Phone

TastebudsHonorable Mention – Tastebuds – iOs

There was a great Shakespeare quote, “If music be the food of love, play on.” Now you can celebrate #MusicMonday every day of the week with a potential date who has the same musical interests as you do.  Concert dates can be a lot of fun and sharing music is passion that many have on their list as a must-have. With this in mind, although Tastebuds is a social networking app, we feel it belongs in the dating category as you can share playlists and more with your potential date.

How it works: Users can sign up easily through Facebook or via email. You can send a message bomb for free to eight of your matches. Your music library can be added or you can add your favorite artists and bands manually. Searches can be fun as you can search by the name of the band that you’re a fan of and within a certain age criteria. Within seconds you can be matched with someone who also loves Pink Floyd and the Beatles.

Why we like it? Perhaps I’m biased as a former music radio DJ, but music is a shared experience. Who would want to go to a concert with someone who didn’t know who David Bowie was?

Download on iOs

Do you have a favorite mobile dating app that you’d like to share?

Julie Spira is an online dating coach and mobile dating expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the creator and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram. Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Find out how Swiping Right can help you find your dream date.

Read more mobile dating advice.

Jewish Mobile Dating Apps for Hanukkah

Chanukah HatJewish singles have quite a few options while looking for love online.

They can select their religious beliefs and those who they seek to meet in the check off box on traditional online dating sites and apps such as OkCupid or Match, or sign up for the long-time favorite JDate, where you can select just what branch of Judaism you practice, if any at all. These days, it’s easier to find a Jewish mate with some of these mobile dating apps to help fill your calendar for the eight days of Hanukkah and beyond.

So grab your latkes, light some candles and get ready to start swiping.

JSwipeJSwipe – Now a favorite among Jewish millennials, JSwipe has users in 70 countries. JSwipe is free to join and has been called the “Tinder” for Jews. You can select which sect of Judaism you practice and just how Kosher you are. Once you’re matched with someone, there’s an 18 day countdown before your match expires, so you’re encouraged to start communicating. Eighteen, is the number for good luck in Judaism. The bonus is if you swipe left by mistake, your match still appears at the bottom of the screen. Just tap on him or her and he will return for you to review the profile again, without a charge.

Download on Google Play

Download on iOs

JfiixJfiix – Created by JDate’s original founder, Joe Shapira, Jfiix initially launched in Israel and caught on quickly. They launched over the Jewish New Year in the U.S. and we have high hopes for this app. Singles can sign up for free and either “like” or “skip” on a potential match that is sent to them. The matches revolve on a carousel type (360) feature so you’re presented with a bouquet of potential dates to view without having to swipe left or right. You can start also chatting without becoming a mutual match. Jfiix has about 25,000 users in the U.S. and is growing by about 400 a day. The app boasts about 250,000 chat conversations every day. The biggest benefit is, it’s completely free.

Download on Google Play

Download on iOs

RELATED: Cyber Love Story – Dana and Matan

 

JCrush MobileJCrush – To join JCrush, you can sign in with Facebook. When you see a match, you can click on the “Star” icon or swipe right as a “Crush” if you’re interested or the tap the X icon or swipe left for an “Oy Vey” for a digital thumbs down. Once you have a mutual crush, you can start communicating. There’s a “Maybe” option if you want to think about it before sending your potential match into the permanent delete file. Just maybe, your date wasn’t so great last night and you might want to revisit that standby.

Download on Google Play

Download on iOs

 

J Date MobileJDate Mobile – With the tagline of “Find Love Anywhere You Go,” JDate’s mobile app mirrors their website and makes it easy to find love on your mobile phone. The app lets you find members of the Tribe nearby and lets you chat instantly. They’ll send you your top matches, as well as let you conduct your own search. It’s the best of both worlds. If you’re already a JDate member, your mobile profile will grab the information from the desktop version. You can then edit your profile if you like on the app. Under Activity, you can see who has viewed your profile, so I recommend using this feature to reach out to someone who has viewed you to improve your chances of connecting. If you want to send a message, you must subscribe to be a premium member.

Download on Google Play

Download iOs

Related: Cyber Love Story – Todd and Rozie

Wishing you a Happy Hanukkah in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. Xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles coaching programs. Follow @JulieSpira on Instagram and Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Cyber Love Story – Dana and Matan

Jfixx - Cyber Love StoryMeet Matan and Dana who met on the new mobile app Jfiix, a dating app for Jewish singles, created by the original founder of JDate, Joe Shapira.

When Matan met Dana, he had never even used a traditional dating service. His first experience looking for love online was using the Jfiix mobile app.

As soon as he got on the app, he noticed that he suddenly got more dates than ever.

“Pretty fast, I found the one,” said Matan.

The couple got married less than one year after their first date.

Congratulations to Matan and Dana who found love using one of the newest mobile apps catering to Jewish singles.

Download Jfiix Google Play

Download Jfiix on iOs

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Submit Your Online Dating Stories

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram. Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Hello December! 5 Tips to Finding Love Online

Finding Love in December - Julie SpiraHappy December my #Tweethearts.

My how time flies! It’s hard to believe that we are in the final month of the year, the month where we celebrate with friends and loved ones, decorate our homes, and fill our calendars with holiday parties.

December is also the time of year where singles want to couple up BIG time and looking for love online is at the top of the list.

I shared in a previous blog the article in the New York Post, where a survey from our friends at Match showed that the number one gift for singles is…. a date. Yes indeed. Finding a date for the holidays ranked higher than picking out the latest tech gadget.

With that in mind, here are 5 online and mobile dating tips to help you find love and your one in 50 million online.

 

  • Swipe Right. Yes. Apps like Tinder are responsible for some serious relationships, so ditch your old thoughts about hookups only with mobile dating apps and start swiping right.

 

 

  • Favorite your Digital Crush. Online dating is a numbers game, but it’s so easy to get lost in the digital shuffle. To stand out, Super Like your match on Tinder, say yes to your daily matches on Match, and favorite or hot list someone to get their attention

 

 

  • Don’t Wait. Initiate. Just because someone viewed your profile, doesn’t mean you should sit back and wait for the email to arrive. To fill your date card, you MUST be proactive. That means logging in daily, seeing who viewed your profile, and writing to 5-10 new people a day.

 

 

  • Snap New Photos. While your Facebook and Instagram profiles are up-to-date with fresh new photos, your online dating profile just might need a digital face-lift. The first place to start is with the photos. Grab a few from your social networking sites or better yet, enlist the help from a friend who has a great digital camera. Snap 100 photos in 5 different outfits and have a photo selection party with your BFFs. They’ll help you select the best pics. P.S. Remember to wear red and ditch the little black dress. Red is the color of love, passion, and the stop sign. It’s also the signature color for the holidays.

 

 

  • Meet IRL. The point of Internet dating isn’t to have a digital pen-pal. It’s to meet someone amazing who you click with, who you can think about every morning when you wake up. You can’t find him or her if you don’t take your relationship from online to offline. Schedule a short phone chat and if the chemistry is there, add him or her to your date card and meet in person.

 

As always, I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating and has been helping singles find love online and on their mobile phones for over 20 years. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

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