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Oh No! She Found Her Boyfriend on Tinder

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowHi Julie,

My name is Stephanie and back in December I met this guy on Tinder. We began talking and instantly hit it off. I had been away in another state so we couldn’t meet up right away so we continued to talk and FaceTime for about a month until meeting. I really liked him and was hoping that when we met it would lead to something real.

We met and the first date was pretty fun. It ended with a kiss. We continued to talk and hung out the week after. The 3rd date had come along and the day before we had had been texting and playing a word game. We sent each other words and we had to make up sentences from them. It was fun and flirty. He gave me the word “official” and I assumed and knew exactly what he wanted me to do with that word. I phrased it as a question and said, “will Stephanie and blank ever be official?”

He said that if we weren’t playing a game he would answer it which he did the next day when we met up. He asked if I wanted it to be official and I said yes. So fast forward about 2 and a half months and we are still together. The problem is that now our first issue has just come up. Recently I thought I had been seeing Tinder notifications on his phone. I didn’t confront him at first, which I should’ve done, but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions because I wasn’t really sure what I had seen.

Related: Boyfriend is on Tinder – Should We Break Up

Since it was heavy on my mind I decided to make a fake profile myself and search through Tinder. I found his profile and was instantly disappointed. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for one second because I was convinced he forgot to delete it because he had mentioned forgetting to about two months prior.

What made me not give him that benefit was that there were two very recent pictures on his profile. I couldn’t believe he was using it behind my back. I was going to wait to bring it up when I saw him but I got so upset and I had to call him. I asked him and he said he just forgot to delete it. but his responses didn’t seem so honest. I asked him why the two recent pictures were on there he said because it’s connected to Facebook and he had put those photos on Facebook recently.

Since I myself had used Tinder before I remembered that Tinder does not just update your profile like that when you post pictures to Facebook. I couldn’t believe him because his responses were so vague. I asked him to screenshot his matches and he seemed very hesitant and said he had already deleted the app.

Related: How to Delete Your Profile on Tinder

We’ve been arguing non stop and nothing he says I can believe. Even if he wasn’t using it I feel that because he hasn’t reassured me how he feels about our relationship enough to a point that I feel secure, I cannot bring myself to trust him. I told him I don’t feel his feelings are genuine and he proceeded by saying he doesn’t believe mine are either since he was the first on to say “I love you.”

I now feel like he is resenting me for this and is lying about using Tinder. I asked him if he is keeping any other feelings inside and he said no. At this point I don’t know if he is manipulating me so he can distract me from his lies or is truly keeping so much in that he tried to find someone else behind my back.

I just want to know is this relationship worth it? Should I stay and learn how to trust him? Is he playing me because I didn’t confront him in person so he was able to delete everything before I saw? He has told me that my assumptions won’t let me believe him. I said I can’t trust him now. If it’s truly him keeping things in, how do I get him to be honest in the future and let him know that I won’t judge him if he just tells me how he feels?

I really want to be with him but. should I really do all this work to try and figure him out so he can be open, even though he is claiming not to be lying or keeping anything in. I was told to get him comfortable so his guard is down and he will then be honest with me. How do I do this?

The help would surely be appreciated. Thank you so much.

Julie’s reply:

Wow Stephanie!

I’m exhausted reading your email to me and I’m sure you’ve had a lot of sleepless nights. I’m sorry to hear this. I always say, seek and ye shall find.

Let’s start with number 1. You can’t manipulate him.

You can’t make him do anything, period. This isn’t about manipulation, catching him with his guard down to have a convo about his real feelings, or finding the magic wand to make you trust him after busting him with his active Tinder profile.

Number 2.  You saw his Tinder notifications.

It wasn’t just a hunch or the secret profile you created to confirm what you already saw. He has an active profile on Tinder. People join Tinder to date or to look for options.  Sure he could have been digital window shopping, but once you caught him, he had to come up with stories as to why it was there. It was there because he was curious or he isn’t committed to being official with anyone.

I know this hurts and you aren’t the only one this is happening to. I get emails every week from women and men who have found out their boyfriends or girlfriends are on Tinder or dating sites. If he was committed, he wouldn’t have had the app on his phone and been an active user.

Related: Dating Exclusively With an Active Profile Online

Number 3. You created a fake profile to bust him.

You say you can’t trust him, but can he trust you? Trust is huge. It’s everything in a relationship. It takes time to build and a split second to lose. At this point, your short relationship is in jeopardy. Why should he be worried that you’ll be staring at his phone or will continue to create fake profiles to see if he’s there or not. A woman’s intuition is powerful. You knew right away something wasn’t right. Creating the fake profile didn’t make your relationship stronger, it just turned you into a detective because you were hurt.

Number 4. Is this relationship worth this?

This question you ask isn’t easy to answer. I’ve never met your or your boyfriend. In all honesty, the damage is done.  You are saying you don’t believe him. He is creating stories to get out of the mess he’s in and you’re fighting all the time. This relationship had a great beginning, but all good relationships start out with a 3-month perfect phase. It’s what happens between months 3-6 and then 6-9 and then the year mark to determine if you have a relationship that can go the distance.

Related: How to Catch Your Cheating Boyfriend or Girlfriend on Tinder

If he wants to be on Tinder, just let him do so. Then create a REAL profile instead of a fake profile and start dating. You might just find someone you connect with more than this guy who’s been put on the “guilty until proven innocent” list.

Both of you aren’t perfect. So my best advice is to go ahead and date others. If it’s meant to be, you’ll find your way back to each other and push notifications from dating apps won’t ever be an issue again.

I’m sorry you’re hurting, but this is the dating process. You date and time will tell whether you have a relationship worth fighting for.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

xo

Julie

Do you have a question for online dating expert Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years and helping them on Swiping Right on their mobile phones. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

How to Catch Your Cheating BF or GF on Tinder

SwipebusterI never thought it would have to come to this, but with over 10 million daily active users and over 100 million downloads, there are some who still can’t retire their Tinder profiles when they’re obviously in a relationship.

Rather than playing cyber-sleuth on your own, a new site/service called Swipebuster launched to help you spy on your significant other. Yes, the story went viral and it’s targeted to those who aren’t taking down their Tinder profiles.

A Global Index report showed that reported that 42% of Tinder users aren’t actually single, so is Tinder a social networking app, a dating app, or a place for couples to look for Plan B on a lonely night?

I say, “seek and ye shall find.” If you think your SO has an active Tinder profile, chances are one of your friends will bust them and let you know. But if you want to see it for yourself, Swipe Buster will do the deed, for a cost.

Related: Help! I Found My Boyfriend on Tinder

Here’s how Swipebuster Works

  1. For $4.99 curious users can input into a search field the name, age, and location of anyone they want to check up on.
  2. Swipe Buster looks for users in that area who fit the search criteria and allows the searcher to see user photos, last log on time, and whether they’re seeking men or women.

Swipe Buster gif

If you’re wondering how Swipebuster is able to retrieve this information, it’s because your info on Tinder is PUBLIC.  Swipebuster retrieves the information from Tinder’s application programming interface, or API, which holds all of the information about its users.

Related: This Strategy Ups Your Tinder Game

Since Tinder’s API and database are public, this information is easily accessible to anyone with an understanding of computer code. But the average person isn’t a coder, so they do background checks, Google searches, and now they have Swipe Buster, as well.

Despite wanting to expose cheaters, the man behind the genius of Swipebuster has other motives.

“There is too much data about people that people themselves don’t know is available,” the creator, who prefers to remain anonymous, told Vanity Fair via phone. “Not only are people oversharing and putting out a lot of information about themselves, but companies are also not doing enough to let people know they’re doing it.”

The intent of Swipebuster was to use a popular company and a juicy lure to educate people about how much of their personal information is available to the public and how easy it is to access it without hacking or even breaking any laws.

What do you think? Do you like the idea of being able to expose someone whose relationship status isn’t single,  or does it make you uncomfortable that this information is available for anyone around the globe to see?

Related: How to Delete Your Tinder Account

If you want our opinion, save the money and keep your wallet closed. Ask your boyfriend or girlfriend if they’re still on Tinder if that’s where you met and wait for an honest reply and save the anxiety and the $4.95.

We’d like to hear your comments.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter

 

Will Online Daters Support Trump? See What POF Survey Says

Dating and politics. The combination makes a hot topic when it comes to matters of the heart this political season.

If your date hates the sound of Hillary’s voice or you can’t wait to see Trump run the country and he or she disagrees, would it matter in your relationship?

Our friends at PlentyOfFish decided to take political questions such as these to the digital heart by surveying over 4,000 singles in the U.S. on the intersection of love and politics.

Thumbs Up or Down on Trump?

Only 1/3 of women surveyed stated they would be open to dating someone who supports Donald Trump, which means that men are immediately losing access to 40% of their dating pool by supporting him. That’s almost half of the potential single dating pool in the U.S.

Related: How to Use Swipe the Vote on Tinder to Find Your Candidate

Who is the Average Trump Supporter?

If you’re looking to date a Trump supporter, he may be easier to find than you think.

According to POF, Male Trump supporters are predominately Caucasian, in their early 50’s with a slightly higher than average income and slightly lower than average education. The study found that singles with a high school education are more than twice as likely to be a Trump supporter than more college-educated singles.

The study also found that Caucasian men who support Trump are less than half as likely to send a message to someone of a different ethnicity than non-supporters. Interesting.

Single Women Are Picky When it Comes to Politics

With 25% of survey respondents stating they won’t date someone who has drastically different political views than their own. Surprisingly, male Trump supporters are more open to the idea of dating someone of a different political view, with 58% willing to date a Democrat.We assume if she’s a Democrat with chemistry, the political issues will rank lower on the political totem pole for men, than for women.

However, only 19% of Democrat women are willing to give a Republican a chance.

“Navigating politics in your love life can be complicated, but it’s a topic many singles will have to tackle with someone they’re dating, especially in the months leading up to an election,” says Shannon Smith, Public Relations Communications Manager at POF. “This new data provides some great insight into how singles value political affiliations as a strong indicator for relationship compatibility, and shows how polarizing politics can be.”

Related: Do Politics and Love Help or Hurt Your Relationship?

 

POF Election Survey

Singles are Feeling the Bern

Among singles polled by POF, Bernie Sanders is the most favored candidate.

Over 71% of American singles plan to vote in the upcoming election, with a large portion of them identifying as Independent. The study found that only 22% of singles identify as Republican and 31% as Democrat.

How to Have “The Talk” With Your Significant Other

Talking politics with your significant other, especially early on in your relationship, can be a touchy subject. “Approach this conversation with caution, and always be respectful of the other person’s views – no matter how different they are than your own,” says Smith. “We’ve seen couples overcome much greater obstacles than dating across the aisle!”

In this year’s Singles In America study published by Match it was proven that talking about politics increases your chances of a second date by 91%, so don’t be shy. Watch the debates together and be open to the possibilities of another opinion posed by your date. Plus, couples passionate about politics are known to have better sex lives.

Will differing politics make a decision on who you select as a date or get serious with? Your comments are welcome.

Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating programs.

 

 

 

 

Zoosk’s Burrit-OH! Dating App to Stick Around

Burrito GifWhat started off as an April Fool’s joke by our friends at Zoosk, has turned into a niche dating site that just might stick around.

When Zoosk launched a dating site just for burrito lovers called Burrit-OH! temporarily as an April Fool’s prank, it was clever, but for some burrito lovers, they want to see the site stick around for a while.

Niche online dating sites are all the rage. You can meet someone with the same political interests, find pet lovers, and also join dating sites based on your food preferences.

Related: Niche Dating Apps: Women’s Health

On the Zoosk blog, Robin Keller, Senior Engineer said, “It calculates what percentage of burrito match you are based on how you fill out the 32 items in your burrito order.”

With Burrit-Oh, their tag line is “Meat your soulmate.” They’ll match you with other singles based upon your burrito orders. If you’re an experienced enough burrito eater to know that guacamole is extra, these site is for you.

Zoosk has decided to keep the site up, for at least a few more weeks. This means that you’ve got more time to search for your burrito soulmate and meet up for a romantic dinner date at your closest Chipotle or other Mexican dining location.

Here’s how Burrit-OH! works

  1. Log on to Burrit-OH!’s website and fill out the basic profile information, with your name, age, location, and whether you’re seeking out a male or female burrito lover.
  2. Then move on to the important information; it’s time to build your burrito!
  3. You’re then shown potential matches in your area and a percentage of how compatible they are with you based on their burrito order.

Even though you can’t base a relationship solely on the similarities in your burrito order, Glamour points out that you’ll at least end up talking to or meeting someone with a sense of humor, which is always on the top

Related: Dating Sites Match Up Pet Lovers

What are you waiting for, burrito lovers? Sign up for Burrit-OH! and make ordering burritos the memory of your first date together, or not.

We don’t know how much longer our friends at Zoosk will keep the site up for, so check it out now.

P.S. Don’t forget the spicy salsa.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with Irresistible Profiles.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter

 

5 Dating Apps That Aren’t Tinder

Dating Apps That Aren't TinderBurnt out on Tinder or maybe you’re just not feeling a spark ignite between you and your potential new flame?

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we’ve got a few Plan B’s to the rescue.

While Tinder is one of the hottest mobile dating apps out there and we recommend swiping right as part of your dating program, and while there are other popular apps like Happn, Bumble, and OKCupid that you might be familiar with, here are a few more dating apps to download right now.

Dating Apps That Aren't Tinder1. Dine

Dine wants to get you from a match to a dinner or drink date as soon as possible. You set up a standard dating app profile and then select three restaurants or bars (through Yelp integration) that you either love or would like to check out. Dine shows you 2 to 5 potential matches, and their restaurant preferences, and you can request to go on a date.

Features We Love: Dine auto-sorts your pictures based on which ones are proving to be the most popular. In the “First Date” section of your profile, you can offer to pay on the first date by selecting the “It’s my treat” option, or choose the  “Let’s meet with friends” option if you want to avoid any potential first date awkwardness.

Available on iOS

Dating Apps That Aren't Tinder2. Clover

This app claims to be a mix of Tinder, Match, OKCupid, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish all rolled into one. Clover allows you to set up dates, view full screen photos, use photo filters, and organize potential interests. Using the Mixers feature, you can meet people with similar interests through topic-based group chat, which is like a mashup of Meetup and Reddit, according to POPSUGAR.

Features We Love: Clover allows you to look at your matches, people you’ve liked, and people who’ve liked you on three separate screens. There are also a wider range of profile settings like height, ethnicity, income, and religion. You can also state your intentions with the options of looking for people to chat with, looking for new friends, looking for a hookup, or looking for long-term.

Available on iOS

Dating Apps That Aren't Tinder3. The Grade

Step aside, Bumble, there’s a new female-friendly dating app in the digital dating world. The Grade aims to make women feel comfortable on mobile dating apps by holding users accountable for their behavior by using an algorithm that assigns letter grades to users. The goal of The Grade is #NoMoreCreeps and girls are able to swipe in a stress-free digital environment without having to worry about hostile messaging, inappropriate photos, or the worry of unrequited communication. Grades are based on profile quality, responsiveness, and peer-reviews generated from the opinions received by others.

Features We Love: Users with a grade of D or F are given a warning and instructions on how to improve their grade and users who maintain an F are expelled, which helps The Grade keep its community full of high-quality users who are both desirable and responsive.

Available on iOS and Android

Dating Apps That Aren't Tinder4. Align

If you’re an astrology fan, Align is perfect for you. Every day you’re given a new set of matches based on astrological compatibility and interests on your homepage, or constellation. Be sure to act quickly, as potential matches only stay in your constellation for 24 hours. User profiles display a different color scheme based on astrological sign: air signs (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius) are yellow, earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) are green, fire signs (Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius) are red, and water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces) are blue.

Features We Love: Matches show up in your Constellation and the larger the star, the more astrologically compatible you are. Align has a Traits section of curated sign-specific traits (including emojis) that you can add to your profile and build your bio.

Available on iOS. Currently only in Los Angeles, New York City, and the Bay Area.

Dating Apps That Aren't Tinder5. Fliqpic

Video chat in real time to figure out if you have chemistry with your digital crush on Fliqpic. The app’s main feature allows you to video chat before deciding to say “yes” or “no” to potential matches. The different categories on the app allow you to easily find users who have similar interests to you. It’s like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Skype all in one!

Features We Love: Users can search for common interests by category and by hashtag, which makes finding users who like the same things as you even easier. Fliqpic allows you to hide your online status so that you can go incognito on the app if you don’t feel up to video chatting with previous matches (almost like being “Invisible” on Skype).

Available on iOS and Android

Do you have a favorite mobile dating app to add? We’d love to hear your comments.

Laughter Will Fill Your Online Dating Card Faster

Laughter is known as the best medicine, both online and offline.

When it comes to matters of the digital heart, endless dating profiles often include “must have a sense of humor” listed as a requirement for a potential date. Sure you want to fall in love with someone who makes you laugh, right?

Since April is “National Humor Month,” our friends at SKOUT, the global app that helps you meet people and expand your social circle, asked 3,372 of their members their thoughts about profile photos and also did a deep dive into the topics of humor, friendship, and more. The results just might get you to ROTFL as you fill your date card.

It’s time to go beyond a smile or a wink once you see these survey results which proves laughter is the best medicine, both online and offline.

The mobile app found that users who posted a photo of themselves laughing, not just smiling, on their profile have had responses that have skyrocketed above all else. It turns out that photos including laughter were favorited 404% more often and 324% more connections were made as compared to the average SKOUT user who wasn’t laughing.

Here are 6 key findings of the SKOUT Humor Survey

1. We’re Our Own Favorite Comedian

A majority of respondents (75%) think they’re funny. SKOUT also found that people with a witty sense of humor are most likely to think that they’re funny (81%).

2. No One Likes to Laugh Alone

Who doesn’t like making other people laugh? It seems like a majority of SKOUT users agreed and 94% of respondents said they enjoyed making other people laugh.

3. Our Humor Style’s Effect on Friendships

If “bathroom humor” and practical jokes are your style, you’re most likely to have five or more close friends. However, you’re less likely to have five or more close friends if your humor style is more sarcastic or self-deprecating. Be careful of sending those text messages.

4. No Clowning Around

Coulrophobia, a fear of clowns, is a pretty common fear in the U.S., but only 30% of respondents said they were afraid of clowns. The survey found that those who have a sarcastic sense of humor are most likely (37%) to be afraid of clowns. Who knew?

5. Chick Flicks vs. Comedies

When it comes to selecting a movie, the survey found that women were more likely to pass on chick flicks and go for a comedy instead.

Comedy trumped all other movie genres among the women surveyed, with 26% preferring comedy to the 23% that preferred action/adventure, 21% who preferred horror, and 18% who preferred romance movies.

Action and adventure movies were the most common among 43% of men, while comedy came in second as the most popular genre (21%).

6. Laugh It Up With the Locals

The two cities with respondents who were most confident in their sense of humor were New York and San Francisco (83%).

Are you ready to change your zip code for that extra laugh? If so try heading to Houston, Los Angeles, or Atlanta, where almost everyone surveyed said they enjoyed making other people laugh.

It’s both April Fool’s Day and National Humor Month, so start showing off your sense of humor in your profile. Enlist the help of a few friends (or us) to help with your profile or to take photos of you the next time you’re rolling on the floor clutching your stomach in a fit of laughter. The candid aspect of the photo will capture you in the moment and you won’t look posed or fake.

Now go ahead and start laughing.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been coaching singles on finding love for over 20 years.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Julie Spira Quoted in the New York Times on Tinder Love

New York Times TinderIt was an honor and joy to be quoted as the Tinder dating expert in the cover story in the Style section of the New York Times.

In the article, The Tinder Dating Pool Isn’t Completely Shallow, I was interviewed by Brooke Lea Foster on the successful couples who are finding love and serious relationships on the mobile dating app, Tinder.

Six couples were featured who swiped right and either got engaged or have already gotten married to their Tinder love match.

Finding love on Tinder is becoming more common each day. Recently we featured Steph and Mark in our Tinder Love Story feature, as well as Matt and Allee who fell in love after Swiping Right.

Tinder New York Times

So if you think Tinder is just for hook ups, think again.

Related: How to Use Swipe the Vote on Tinder to Match With Your Favorite Candidate

Years ago you didn’t tell anyone you were on any online dating site due to the stigma. It was a matter of time before Tinder became mainstream and this feature piece in the New York Times has shown that Tinder’s come a long way baby.

It was only a year ago that the New York Times did a feature piece on Tinder for Valentine’s Day, where they asked me to weigh in on the popularity of mobile dating apps.

When we created Mobile Dating BootCamp, ahead of the curve in 2012, the Washington Post first broke the story.  Even then, the daters were skeptical.

So grab your mobile phone, log on several times a day, keep those push notifications coming and be open to the possibilities of finding love from the convenience of your mobile phone.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online and IRL for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online (newly revised in 2016 on Kindle and Audible, with bonus dating advice and a new epilogue to help you believe in love).

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Most Millennials Have Been Ghosted

Millennials Ghosting

Source: Giphy

Breaking up isn’t hard to do anymore.  All you have to do is ghost and disappear.  One minute you’re texting your steady girlfriend or boyfriend non-stop then suddenly they going MIA with no explanation. It’s simple, but oh so hurtful and I don’t recommend it.

Everyday I hear another story of someone who’s been ghosted, also known as ghosting, or the digital disappearing act. When it’s time to call it quits with your boyfriend or girlfriend, where have the manners gone?

Related: Ghosted for the First Time

One of our favorite online dating sites, Plenty of Fish, just released a survey of 800 singles 18-33, which showed that showing that 80% of these singles had been ghosted.

POF says, “Ghosting” seems to be the new trend when ending a relationship, with the majority of singles reporting getting dumped when the person they were dating suddenly cut off all communication with them, without explanation.”

What do do when you’ve been ghosted?

If you’re steady squeeze or digital crush disappeared, bid a fond farewell and get back on that dating saddle.

The good news from the POF survey on digital dating showed that millennials don’t skip a digital beat when this happens to them. Their report showed that 14.% surveyed wasted no time in getting back into the dating scene by scheduling multiple dates for one night. I’ve always said the best revenge is a life well-lived.

Related: Confused, Is He Ghosting?

Communication is Key

Part of the survey studied the attachment between millennials and their mobile phones. Millennials are so attached to their phones, it’s not surprising that 66% of respondents said their preferred method of communication with an online date is through text messaging, followed by only 14% preferring a phone call.

Mobile dating speeds up the process. The classic “three day rule” of waiting to call after a date has gone out the window with millennials. Now, 20% will contact someone the same day to follow up for a second date after a great first date.  Almost half wait a day or two, while 15% don’t bother at all and wait for their date to reach out first. If you wait the full week, your date might forget your name by the time you call.

POF Millennial Dating Study

Overall, millennials have impacted and changed the dating game quite a bit, but at the end of the digital day, they’re still looking for love. That’s good news for all hopeful romantics. Over 1/4 of the respondents stated they check their dating app once a day, while others admitted to checking in at least 5 times a day.

So log on and keep those push notifications coming.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

This Strategy Ups Your Tinder Game

Here’s a little secret that’s been used over 20 million times by Tinder users to increase their responses by from their match.

Send a GIF (animated video) in your message. We’re sharing 20 of Tinder’s top GIFS with you in case you’re not sure which ones to use.

When Tinder, introduced their GIF button earlier this year to allow users to search through the Giphy database to send a GIF to their match, the impact on getting a response increased by 30%! Plus, using a GIF when communicating with your matches on Tinder means your conversation can last twice as long. After all, your potential date will want o know how you did that or might even ask if you created it on your own. It’s a great ice-breaker.

Think about it. You’re swiping and matching, but then the match either fizzles out, or you don’t hear back from him or her. As a Tinder dating expert, I know there’s a strategy to help you stand out so you can meet your match IRL.

Welcome to the world of Tinder, where many connect and others just sit and wonder why it’s not working for them.

If you’ve spent time on an online dating site such as eHarmony or on a mobile app such as Tinder or Bumble, you’ve probably experienced the awkward moment of not knowing what to say to your digital crush after you’ve matched with them.

Related: Tinder Update Ignites Gifs and New Flirting Features

Tinder co-founder and vice president of product, Jonathan Badeen, told Buzzfeed that “GIFs allow people to better say what they want and express emotion, which is something that’s really difficult to do in text alone.”

Badeen said another benefit is that “It opens up people to start more conversations and to break the ice,” and he couldn’t be more right.

Here’s the top 20 GIFs used on Tinder that will help make that first interaction with your Tinder love a little less awkward and give you something more to say than “hey.”

 

We know the default message is “hey” or “hi.” Wouldn’t it be more fun if your match received this gif instead? We think so.

Who wouldn’t love a heart shaped pizza? It says like, or love, and pizza is a universal language.

This GIF screams flirt, big time. Toss that hair and look aside. He’ll want to reply to this one.

Like “hey,” “How you doing” can get a better reaction than just typing the words.

Can you say, “wow!” Let’s schedule a date on the date card, now!

How flattering! There’s something sexy about a woman wearing glasses. Taking them off to view you? Yes, she’ll get a reply.

What a fun way to say hello. Pets can warm anyone’s heart, especially this cute one jumping out of the pool to say hello to you!

Ding dong. Happy holidays! Here’s a balloon bouquet just for you!

It’s the oldest line in the book and if written in text form, just might get deleted. However it screams charming in this GIF.

Don’t say no, when you can say YES! Plus the exclamation point gives it a double whammy.

Normally we don’t recommend hiding behind shades, but these perfectly manicured nails waiving hello to you is worth a reply.

Bat those eyelashes for a guaranteed reply to your message.

A drinking contest? Maybe not, but it’s sure funny and size is important, right?

Hello cowboy and let’s tip a hat for a reply. Yes!

It’s not just the ladies who should be batting the eyelashes. That sweet smile deserves a reply.

Blow him a kiss for a fast and flirty reply.

How proper and sweet. Ok, it’s a bit goofy, but that will get her attention.

Can someone save me? Maybe save me from the other guys on Tinder?

If you wave hello and look like you want to cuddle, your Tinder match just might reply to claim his or her hug.

Wishing you much love and joy on Tinder, or wherever you may roam. xo.

Instagram Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Datingtwitter - Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, newly released with a magical epilogue and a fairy tale ending.

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Hello Spring! 10 Quotes to Welcome the Season

Spring is here. The groundhog saw his shadow, the days are getting longer, and love is in the air.

Many singles and couples are enjoying spring break. With the change of seasons, some singles looking for a spring fling and are swiping right in a digital frenzy. Others are glad that a new season means it’s time to think about starting a new relationship.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we’ve been busy coaching singles and wanted to share a few inspirational quotes to help you say embrace a spring filled with hope, love and joy.

Here are 10 Inspiring Quotes for Spring

A life without love is like a year without spring.

“A life without love is like a year without spring.” – Octavian Paller

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” – Seneca

In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns into thoughts of love.

“In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns into thoughts of love.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

i love spring everywhere, but if i could choose i would always greet it in a garden.

“I love spring everywhere, but if I could choose I would always greet it in a garden.” – Ruth Stout

In spring, everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves.

“In spring, everyone’s in love and flowers pick themselves.” – E.E. Cummings

In springtime, love is carried on the breeze. Watch out for flying passion or kisses whizzing by your head.

“In springtime, love is carried on the breeze. Watch out for flying passion or kisses whizzing by your head.” – Emma Racine deFleur

Spring is nature's way of saying, %22Let's party!%22

“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!'” – Robin Williams

Spring is when life's alive in everything.

“Spring is when life’s alive in everything.” – Christina Rossetti

Spring

“Spring is the time of plans and projects.” – Leo Tolstoy

Love is always fresh

“The garden of love is green without limit and yields many fruits other than sorrow or joy. Love is beyond either condition: without spring, without autumn, it is always fresh.” – Rumi

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Instagram Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Datingtwitter - Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, newly released with a magical epilogue and a fairy tale ending.

Sign up for the Free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

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