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Will Online Daters Support Trump? See What POF Survey Says

Dating and politics. The combination makes a hot topic when it comes to matters of the heart this political season.

If your date hates the sound of Hillary’s voice or you can’t wait to see Trump run the country and he or she disagrees, would it matter in your relationship?

Our friends at PlentyOfFish decided to take political questions such as these to the digital heart by surveying over 4,000 singles in the U.S. on the intersection of love and politics.

Thumbs Up or Down on Trump?

Only 1/3 of women surveyed stated they would be open to dating someone who supports Donald Trump, which means that men are immediately losing access to 40% of their dating pool by supporting him. That’s almost half of the potential single dating pool in the U.S.

Related: How to Use Swipe the Vote on Tinder to Find Your Candidate

Who is the Average Trump Supporter?

If you’re looking to date a Trump supporter, he may be easier to find than you think.

According to POF, Male Trump supporters are predominately Caucasian, in their early 50’s with a slightly higher than average income and slightly lower than average education. The study found that singles with a high school education are more than twice as likely to be a Trump supporter than more college-educated singles.

The study also found that Caucasian men who support Trump are less than half as likely to send a message to someone of a different ethnicity than non-supporters. Interesting.

Single Women Are Picky When it Comes to Politics

With 25% of survey respondents stating they won’t date someone who has drastically different political views than their own. Surprisingly, male Trump supporters are more open to the idea of dating someone of a different political view, with 58% willing to date a Democrat.We assume if she’s a Democrat with chemistry, the political issues will rank lower on the political totem pole for men, than for women.

However, only 19% of Democrat women are willing to give a Republican a chance.

“Navigating politics in your love life can be complicated, but it’s a topic many singles will have to tackle with someone they’re dating, especially in the months leading up to an election,” says Shannon Smith, Public Relations Communications Manager at POF. “This new data provides some great insight into how singles value political affiliations as a strong indicator for relationship compatibility, and shows how polarizing politics can be.”

Related: Do Politics and Love Help or Hurt Your Relationship?

 

POF Election Survey

Singles are Feeling the Bern

Among singles polled by POF, Bernie Sanders is the most favored candidate.

Over 71% of American singles plan to vote in the upcoming election, with a large portion of them identifying as Independent. The study found that only 22% of singles identify as Republican and 31% as Democrat.

How to Have “The Talk” With Your Significant Other

Talking politics with your significant other, especially early on in your relationship, can be a touchy subject. “Approach this conversation with caution, and always be respectful of the other person’s views – no matter how different they are than your own,” says Smith. “We’ve seen couples overcome much greater obstacles than dating across the aisle!”

In this year’s Singles In America study published by Match it was proven that talking about politics increases your chances of a second date by 91%, so don’t be shy. Watch the debates together and be open to the possibilities of another opinion posed by your date. Plus, couples passionate about politics are known to have better sex lives.

Will differing politics make a decision on who you select as a date or get serious with? Your comments are welcome.

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating programs.

 

 

 

 

Zoosk’s Burrit-OH! Dating App to Stick Around

Burrito GifWhat started off as an April Fool’s joke by our friends at Zoosk, has turned into a niche dating site that just might stick around.

When Zoosk launched a dating site just for burrito lovers called Burrit-OH! temporarily as an April Fool’s prank, it was clever, but for some burrito lovers, they want to see the site stick around for a while.

Niche online dating sites are all the rage. You can meet someone with the same political interests, find pet lovers, and also join dating sites based on your food preferences.

Related: Niche Dating Apps: Women’s Health

On the Zoosk blog, Robin Keller, Senior Engineer said, “It calculates what percentage of burrito match you are based on how you fill out the 32 items in your burrito order.”

With Burrit-Oh, their tag line is “Meat your soulmate.” They’ll match you with other singles based upon your burrito orders. If you’re an experienced enough burrito eater to know that guacamole is extra, these site is for you.

Zoosk has decided to keep the site up, for at least a few more weeks. This means that you’ve got more time to search for your burrito soulmate and meet up for a romantic dinner date at your closest Chipotle or other Mexican dining location.

Here’s how Burrit-OH! works

  1. Log on to Burrit-OH!’s website and fill out the basic profile information, with your name, age, location, and whether you’re seeking out a male or female burrito lover.
  2. Then move on to the important information; it’s time to build your burrito!
  3. You’re then shown potential matches in your area and a percentage of how compatible they are with you based on their burrito order.

Even though you can’t base a relationship solely on the similarities in your burrito order, Glamour points out that you’ll at least end up talking to or meeting someone with a sense of humor, which is always on the top

Related: Dating Sites Match Up Pet Lovers

What are you waiting for, burrito lovers? Sign up for Burrit-OH! and make ordering burritos the memory of your first date together, or not.

We don’t know how much longer our friends at Zoosk will keep the site up for, so check it out now.

P.S. Don’t forget the spicy salsa.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with Irresistible Profiles.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter

 

5 Dating Apps That Aren’t Tinder

Dating Apps That Aren't TinderBurnt out on Tinder or maybe you’re just not feeling a spark ignite between you and your potential new flame?

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we’ve got a few Plan B’s to the rescue.

While Tinder is one of the hottest mobile dating apps out there and we recommend swiping right as part of your dating program, and while there are other popular apps like Happn, Bumble, and OKCupid that you might be familiar with, here are a few more dating apps to download right now.

Dating Apps That Aren't Tinder1. Dine

Dine wants to get you from a match to a dinner or drink date as soon as possible. You set up a standard dating app profile and then select three restaurants or bars (through Yelp integration) that you either love or would like to check out. Dine shows you 2 to 5 potential matches, and their restaurant preferences, and you can request to go on a date.

Features We Love: Dine auto-sorts your pictures based on which ones are proving to be the most popular. In the “First Date” section of your profile, you can offer to pay on the first date by selecting the “It’s my treat” option, or choose the  “Let’s meet with friends” option if you want to avoid any potential first date awkwardness.

Available on iOS

Dating Apps That Aren't Tinder2. Clover

This app claims to be a mix of Tinder, Match, OKCupid, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish all rolled into one. Clover allows you to set up dates, view full screen photos, use photo filters, and organize potential interests. Using the Mixers feature, you can meet people with similar interests through topic-based group chat, which is like a mashup of Meetup and Reddit, according to POPSUGAR.

Features We Love: Clover allows you to look at your matches, people you’ve liked, and people who’ve liked you on three separate screens. There are also a wider range of profile settings like height, ethnicity, income, and religion. You can also state your intentions with the options of looking for people to chat with, looking for new friends, looking for a hookup, or looking for long-term.

Available on iOS

Dating Apps That Aren't Tinder3. The Grade

Step aside, Bumble, there’s a new female-friendly dating app in the digital dating world. The Grade aims to make women feel comfortable on mobile dating apps by holding users accountable for their behavior by using an algorithm that assigns letter grades to users. The goal of The Grade is #NoMoreCreeps and girls are able to swipe in a stress-free digital environment without having to worry about hostile messaging, inappropriate photos, or the worry of unrequited communication. Grades are based on profile quality, responsiveness, and peer-reviews generated from the opinions received by others.

Features We Love: Users with a grade of D or F are given a warning and instructions on how to improve their grade and users who maintain an F are expelled, which helps The Grade keep its community full of high-quality users who are both desirable and responsive.

Available on iOS and Android

Dating Apps That Aren't Tinder4. Align

If you’re an astrology fan, Align is perfect for you. Every day you’re given a new set of matches based on astrological compatibility and interests on your homepage, or constellation. Be sure to act quickly, as potential matches only stay in your constellation for 24 hours. User profiles display a different color scheme based on astrological sign: air signs (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius) are yellow, earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) are green, fire signs (Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius) are red, and water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces) are blue.

Features We Love: Matches show up in your Constellation and the larger the star, the more astrologically compatible you are. Align has a Traits section of curated sign-specific traits (including emojis) that you can add to your profile and build your bio.

Available on iOS. Currently only in Los Angeles, New York City, and the Bay Area.

Dating Apps That Aren't Tinder5. Fliqpic

Video chat in real time to figure out if you have chemistry with your digital crush on Fliqpic. The app’s main feature allows you to video chat before deciding to say “yes” or “no” to potential matches. The different categories on the app allow you to easily find users who have similar interests to you. It’s like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Skype all in one!

Features We Love: Users can search for common interests by category and by hashtag, which makes finding users who like the same things as you even easier. Fliqpic allows you to hide your online status so that you can go incognito on the app if you don’t feel up to video chatting with previous matches (almost like being “Invisible” on Skype).

Available on iOS and Android

Do you have a favorite mobile dating app to add? We’d love to hear your comments.

Laughter Will Fill Your Online Dating Card Faster

Laughter is known as the best medicine, both online and offline.

When it comes to matters of the digital heart, endless dating profiles often include “must have a sense of humor” listed as a requirement for a potential date. Sure you want to fall in love with someone who makes you laugh, right?

Since April is “National Humor Month,” our friends at SKOUT, the global app that helps you meet people and expand your social circle, asked 3,372 of their members their thoughts about profile photos and also did a deep dive into the topics of humor, friendship, and more. The results just might get you to ROTFL as you fill your date card.

It’s time to go beyond a smile or a wink once you see these survey results which proves laughter is the best medicine, both online and offline.

The mobile app found that users who posted a photo of themselves laughing, not just smiling, on their profile have had responses that have skyrocketed above all else. It turns out that photos including laughter were favorited 404% more often and 324% more connections were made as compared to the average SKOUT user who wasn’t laughing.

Here are 6 key findings of the SKOUT Humor Survey

1. We’re Our Own Favorite Comedian

A majority of respondents (75%) think they’re funny. SKOUT also found that people with a witty sense of humor are most likely to think that they’re funny (81%).

2. No One Likes to Laugh Alone

Who doesn’t like making other people laugh? It seems like a majority of SKOUT users agreed and 94% of respondents said they enjoyed making other people laugh.

3. Our Humor Style’s Effect on Friendships

If “bathroom humor” and practical jokes are your style, you’re most likely to have five or more close friends. However, you’re less likely to have five or more close friends if your humor style is more sarcastic or self-deprecating. Be careful of sending those text messages.

4. No Clowning Around

Coulrophobia, a fear of clowns, is a pretty common fear in the U.S., but only 30% of respondents said they were afraid of clowns. The survey found that those who have a sarcastic sense of humor are most likely (37%) to be afraid of clowns. Who knew?

5. Chick Flicks vs. Comedies

When it comes to selecting a movie, the survey found that women were more likely to pass on chick flicks and go for a comedy instead.

Comedy trumped all other movie genres among the women surveyed, with 26% preferring comedy to the 23% that preferred action/adventure, 21% who preferred horror, and 18% who preferred romance movies.

Action and adventure movies were the most common among 43% of men, while comedy came in second as the most popular genre (21%).

6. Laugh It Up With the Locals

The two cities with respondents who were most confident in their sense of humor were New York and San Francisco (83%).

Are you ready to change your zip code for that extra laugh? If so try heading to Houston, Los Angeles, or Atlanta, where almost everyone surveyed said they enjoyed making other people laugh.

It’s both April Fool’s Day and National Humor Month, so start showing off your sense of humor in your profile. Enlist the help of a few friends (or us) to help with your profile or to take photos of you the next time you’re rolling on the floor clutching your stomach in a fit of laughter. The candid aspect of the photo will capture you in the moment and you won’t look posed or fake.

Now go ahead and start laughing.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been coaching singles on finding love for over 20 years.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Julie Spira Quoted in the New York Times on Tinder Love

New York Times TinderIt was an honor and joy to be quoted as the Tinder dating expert in the cover story in the Style section of the New York Times.

In the article, The Tinder Dating Pool Isn’t Completely Shallow, I was interviewed by Brooke Lea Foster on the successful couples who are finding love and serious relationships on the mobile dating app, Tinder.

Six couples were featured who swiped right and either got engaged or have already gotten married to their Tinder love match.

Finding love on Tinder is becoming more common each day. Recently we featured Steph and Mark in our Tinder Love Story feature, as well as Matt and Allee who fell in love after Swiping Right.

Tinder New York Times

So if you think Tinder is just for hook ups, think again.

Related: How to Use Swipe the Vote on Tinder to Match With Your Favorite Candidate

Years ago you didn’t tell anyone you were on any online dating site due to the stigma. It was a matter of time before Tinder became mainstream and this feature piece in the New York Times has shown that Tinder’s come a long way baby.

It was only a year ago that the New York Times did a feature piece on Tinder for Valentine’s Day, where they asked me to weigh in on the popularity of mobile dating apps.

When we created Mobile Dating BootCamp, ahead of the curve in 2012, the Washington Post first broke the story.  Even then, the daters were skeptical.

So grab your mobile phone, log on several times a day, keep those push notifications coming and be open to the possibilities of finding love from the convenience of your mobile phone.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online and IRL for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online (newly revised in 2016 on Kindle and Audible, with bonus dating advice and a new epilogue to help you believe in love).

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Most Millennials Have Been Ghosted

Millennials Ghosting

Source: Giphy

Breaking up isn’t hard to do anymore.  All you have to do is ghost and disappear.  One minute you’re texting your steady girlfriend or boyfriend non-stop then suddenly they going MIA with no explanation. It’s simple, but oh so hurtful and I don’t recommend it.

Everyday I hear another story of someone who’s been ghosted, also known as ghosting, or the digital disappearing act. When it’s time to call it quits with your boyfriend or girlfriend, where have the manners gone?

Related: Ghosted for the First Time

One of our favorite online dating sites, Plenty of Fish, just released a survey of 800 singles 18-33, which showed that showing that 80% of these singles had been ghosted.

POF says, “Ghosting” seems to be the new trend when ending a relationship, with the majority of singles reporting getting dumped when the person they were dating suddenly cut off all communication with them, without explanation.”

What do do when you’ve been ghosted?

If you’re steady squeeze or digital crush disappeared, bid a fond farewell and get back on that dating saddle.

The good news from the POF survey on digital dating showed that millennials don’t skip a digital beat when this happens to them. Their report showed that 14.% surveyed wasted no time in getting back into the dating scene by scheduling multiple dates for one night. I’ve always said the best revenge is a life well-lived.

Related: Confused, Is He Ghosting?

Communication is Key

Part of the survey studied the attachment between millennials and their mobile phones. Millennials are so attached to their phones, it’s not surprising that 66% of respondents said their preferred method of communication with an online date is through text messaging, followed by only 14% preferring a phone call.

Mobile dating speeds up the process. The classic “three day rule” of waiting to call after a date has gone out the window with millennials. Now, 20% will contact someone the same day to follow up for a second date after a great first date.  Almost half wait a day or two, while 15% don’t bother at all and wait for their date to reach out first. If you wait the full week, your date might forget your name by the time you call.

POF Millennial Dating Study

Overall, millennials have impacted and changed the dating game quite a bit, but at the end of the digital day, they’re still looking for love. That’s good news for all hopeful romantics. Over 1/4 of the respondents stated they check their dating app once a day, while others admitted to checking in at least 5 times a day.

So log on and keep those push notifications coming.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

This Strategy Ups Your Tinder Game

Here’s a little secret that’s been used over 20 million times by Tinder users to increase their responses by from their match.

Send a GIF (animated video) in your message. We’re sharing 20 of Tinder’s top GIFS with you in case you’re not sure which ones to use.

When Tinder, introduced their GIF button earlier this year to allow users to search through the Giphy database to send a GIF to their match, the impact on getting a response increased by 30%! Plus, using a GIF when communicating with your matches on Tinder means your conversation can last twice as long. After all, your potential date will want o know how you did that or might even ask if you created it on your own. It’s a great ice-breaker.

Think about it. You’re swiping and matching, but then the match either fizzles out, or you don’t hear back from him or her. As a Tinder dating expert, I know there’s a strategy to help you stand out so you can meet your match IRL.

Welcome to the world of Tinder, where many connect and others just sit and wonder why it’s not working for them.

If you’ve spent time on an online dating site such as eHarmony or on a mobile app such as Tinder or Bumble, you’ve probably experienced the awkward moment of not knowing what to say to your digital crush after you’ve matched with them.

Related: Tinder Update Ignites Gifs and New Flirting Features

Tinder co-founder and vice president of product, Jonathan Badeen, told Buzzfeed that “GIFs allow people to better say what they want and express emotion, which is something that’s really difficult to do in text alone.”

Badeen said another benefit is that “It opens up people to start more conversations and to break the ice,” and he couldn’t be more right.

Here’s the top 20 GIFs used on Tinder that will help make that first interaction with your Tinder love a little less awkward and give you something more to say than “hey.”

 

We know the default message is “hey” or “hi.” Wouldn’t it be more fun if your match received this gif instead? We think so.

Who wouldn’t love a heart shaped pizza? It says like, or love, and pizza is a universal language.

This GIF screams flirt, big time. Toss that hair and look aside. He’ll want to reply to this one.

Like “hey,” “How you doing” can get a better reaction than just typing the words.

Can you say, “wow!” Let’s schedule a date on the date card, now!

How flattering! There’s something sexy about a woman wearing glasses. Taking them off to view you? Yes, she’ll get a reply.

What a fun way to say hello. Pets can warm anyone’s heart, especially this cute one jumping out of the pool to say hello to you!

Ding dong. Happy holidays! Here’s a balloon bouquet just for you!

It’s the oldest line in the book and if written in text form, just might get deleted. However it screams charming in this GIF.

Don’t say no, when you can say YES! Plus the exclamation point gives it a double whammy.

Normally we don’t recommend hiding behind shades, but these perfectly manicured nails waiving hello to you is worth a reply.

Bat those eyelashes for a guaranteed reply to your message.

A drinking contest? Maybe not, but it’s sure funny and size is important, right?

Hello cowboy and let’s tip a hat for a reply. Yes!

It’s not just the ladies who should be batting the eyelashes. That sweet smile deserves a reply.

Blow him a kiss for a fast and flirty reply.

How proper and sweet. Ok, it’s a bit goofy, but that will get her attention.

Can someone save me? Maybe save me from the other guys on Tinder?

If you wave hello and look like you want to cuddle, your Tinder match just might reply to claim his or her hug.

Wishing you much love and joy on Tinder, or wherever you may roam. xo.

Instagram Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Datingtwitter - Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, newly released with a magical epilogue and a fairy tale ending.

Sign up for the Free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Hello Spring! 10 Quotes to Welcome the Season

Spring is here. The groundhog saw his shadow, the days are getting longer, and love is in the air.

Many singles and couples are enjoying spring break. With the change of seasons, some singles looking for a spring fling and are swiping right in a digital frenzy. Others are glad that a new season means it’s time to think about starting a new relationship.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we’ve been busy coaching singles and wanted to share a few inspirational quotes to help you say embrace a spring filled with hope, love and joy.

Here are 10 Inspiring Quotes for Spring

A life without love is like a year without spring.

“A life without love is like a year without spring.” – Octavian Paller

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” – Seneca

In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns into thoughts of love.

“In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns into thoughts of love.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

i love spring everywhere, but if i could choose i would always greet it in a garden.

“I love spring everywhere, but if I could choose I would always greet it in a garden.” – Ruth Stout

In spring, everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves.

“In spring, everyone’s in love and flowers pick themselves.” – E.E. Cummings

In springtime, love is carried on the breeze. Watch out for flying passion or kisses whizzing by your head.

“In springtime, love is carried on the breeze. Watch out for flying passion or kisses whizzing by your head.” – Emma Racine deFleur

Spring is nature's way of saying, %22Let's party!%22

“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!'” – Robin Williams

Spring is when life's alive in everything.

“Spring is when life’s alive in everything.” – Christina Rossetti

Spring

“Spring is the time of plans and projects.” – Leo Tolstoy

Love is always fresh

“The garden of love is green without limit and yields many fruits other than sorrow or joy. Love is beyond either condition: without spring, without autumn, it is always fresh.” – Rumi

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Instagram Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Datingtwitter - Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, newly released with a magical epilogue and a fairy tale ending.

Sign up for the Free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Why You’re Not Getting Lucky in Love Online

IMG_1467
Spring is around the corner. The clocks have been pushed ahead and many of you are calling and writing in with that achy pain and frustrated feeling.

You’re swiping, you’re smiling, you’re flirting, and you’re still single.

If you feel this way, know that you’re not alone. Just like you do a spring cleaning of your closets and homes, or your medical health checkup at the beginning of a season, it’s time for a digital checkup on the reasons why you’re not successful with online dating.

If you’re feeling unlucky on the day one believes in luck the most, this post is for you.

Roman philosopher Seneca said it best when he talked about luck. “Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity. ”

Just how prepared are you? How much work are you willing to do to be happy and in love? Is it fate and are you waiting or will you take matters into your own digital hands?

Here’s an open letter to women to help open your heart to find love this spring.

Do any of these sound familiar?

  • I’m unhappy with the quality of matches.
  • I think all guys want to hook up.
  • Online dating and mobile dating feels like too much work.
  • No one responds to my emails.
  • Guys have too many options and are looking for the next great swipe.
  • All he wants to do is text.
  • I don’t want to be online for too long.
  • The same people are online that were online last year.

The list goes on.

These gripes and frustrations are coming from both men and women. You see, we’ve all been there. I can tell you that we are coaching more men these days than women and they are SERIOUS about finding love.

They pay for a dating coach, they put the expense and effort into getting new photos taken for the Internet dating profiles, they’re proactive and are writing to ten women a day. They put the same effort into online dating or are using their mobile dating apps to find a partner, with the same effort they do in getting that promotion at work. They know it can take a moment, a day, a week, or a year. They do the work and for the most, they don’t complain about it. There’s a gold ring at the end. It’s getting the girl.

This is what someone does when they pursue what they’re looking for. Seek and ye shall find.

Related: 7 Ways to Flirt on St. Patrick’s Day

As women, we are trained to wait for the man to find us. We don’t search that frequently and we don’t send ten emails to men every day or respond to that mutual match on a mobile dating app first.  That’s too much male energy for us. We think about the guy who couldn’t commit, about a potential date’s height, income, our ex who found a younger girlfriend, and the boyfriend who cheated. There’s so much negative thinking going on, that it’s impossible to attract someone great. Guys are guilty until proven innocent. I know this, because I talk to single men and women every day who are looking for love.

Related: Ladies, Make the First Move Online to Score 2.5 More Dates

These days, if you don’t have a mobile dating strategy, you’re pretty much not in the game. Not every swipe turns to a match. Not every match turns into a date. Not every date turns into your boyfriend. Not swiping means you just might be waiting…and waiting. Next season, you’ll be reading this post again waiting for summer to begin, wondering where all the great guys are.

So what are the guys complaining about?

  • Every girl’s profile looks the same.
  • Every girl wants a sugar daddy or someone to pay her bills.
  • Women have too many choices and they never write back.
  • We want to sleep with her eventually, but we need to have chemistry.
  • Women are looking for free meals.
  • Women complain about bad dates, exes, work, and money.
  • She’s a serial dater and not looking for something serious.
  • The same people are online that were online last year.

As a Digital Matchmaker and Online Dating Expert for over 20 years, I can tell you that both men and women have the same complaints. They want to connect, they just can’t find you. Or if they find you, you complain and don’t seem open and available.

I’m here to tell you that women are allowed to make the first move, while still remaining in their feminine energy. This is why both women and men enjoy the new Bumble app, where women make the first move. Women have more control over their love lives now, rather than waiting for their one in 50 million to find them. Men are flattered to hear from the women. Guys are frustrated when they keep swiping and writing, with no reply. Matches are being made. It’s what happens IRL that can help or hinder the process of getting to a second date and starting a relationship.

Related: Why Women Like Bumble

Here’s the thing, everyone’s dating online. No one calls to say they’re super-excited to be dating five guys a week for 52 weeks. They’re hoping their online dating tenure is shorter than longer.

A Pew Internet Research survey on online dating has shown that 30% of women actually enlist the help of someone to write their dating profile. These are the women who are taking it seriously. The same survey also showed that three times the amount of singles 18-24 are using mobile dating apps as compared to two years ago. It also showed that online dating use for adults 55-64 has doubled in the same time period. Everyone from your kids to grandma are dating online.

As you write down your long list of what you’re looking for and what you’re NOT looking for, I urge you to take any negative words or statements out of your vocabulary, out of your profile, and out of your first few dates. Everyone has a bad day here or there. If you’re walking train wreck, no one will want to date you or fall in love with you. Sure, they’ll sleep with you if you let them, but then you’ll complain that all guys want to hook up. As much as guys say they want a drama-free woman, there is no such thing as a drama free life. Our life lessons are what makes us unique.

Related: How to Write a Dating Profile That’s As Cool And Interesting as You

With spring around the corner, I urge you to leave the drama behind, leave the novel behind and go out and be happy. Enjoy meeting new people and learning about life outside of your world.

If your profile is filled with deal-breakers and you’re saying “don’t contact me if…,” I promise you, he won’t.

Life and love have a bit of luck involved, but it’s the effort that you put in that will determine the outcome of your fate. If you’re still stuck, you know where to find us.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert , Mobile Dating Expert, and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s a frequent guest in the media with her online dating advice. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and remember to sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

Tinder Love Story – Steph and Mark

Tinder Love StoryMeet Steph and Mark who found love on Tinder.

About six month’s after Steph’s divorce was final, she decided to sign up for Match.  She realized that dating via the night scene was not working for her, so after a friend had told her she joined Match, Steph followed suit.

After reading the Cyber-Dating Expert blog, Steph decided it was time to give Tinder a try.

Here’s her Tinder love story, in her words.

I met many wonderful men who were not for me.  I had a few minor heartaches as I learned more about myself and what I thought I needed.  By the time October rolled around, I was feeling less than positive about all dating. I was going through the motions of keeping up my profile, answering emails, etc.  I  pushed back on every inquiry.

Related: These Jobs Get the Most Right Swipes on Tinder

Late October 5, 2015, I swiped right and matched with Mark.  At 10:45 am, October 6th, I made a move to try to weed this one out:

Mark was so nice and returned my Boston attitude with kindness.  So I decided to give this a shot.  We quickly moved to phone texting and talking. Mark asked me to go to dinner.  On Sunday, October 11th, we met in Buckhead. He pulled up on a busy street.  I looked in his car and thought, “oh boy, I am in trouble!”

Mark, newly divorced after 25 years, joined Tinder because of the safety of “virtual” vetting and the seemingly abundant options on that app in this area.  On paper, Mark and I didn’t match.  I thought I needed a city guy with a like attitude who can handle me.  He never considered  a “Yankee” as a partner.

Related: Matt and Alee: They Met on Tinder

On our own, we may have rejected the thought of dating each other.  Through Tinder, we learned more about ourselves and what is truly important in our lives.  We have both come to understand that the similarities we share in humor, faith, family values, mutual support and reciprocity are what drives our desire to meld our worlds, not our ethnicity or where we were born.

I couldn’t be happier to be proven wrong by a dating app. The last five months have been a joy learning to love again.  We both look forward to the days to come, and we are grateful for the “right swipe.”

Congratulations to Steph and Mark who prove you can find love on Tinder by Swiping Right.

Send us your story and we might feature YOU in our Cyber Love Story series.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Submit Your Online Dating Stories

 

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out how Irresistible Coaching can help you find your dream date.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

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