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5 Ways to Find Love in 2019: How to Find Love Online and IRL

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It’s official. The theme for 2019 is finding love.

Whether it’s loving your job, loving your workout, loving your friends and family, or finding that deeply connected soulmate at the spiritual level, there’s truth to what they say about finding your voice and listening to your heart

You see, we can easily fill your date cards with two dates a day during peak season. But if you’re not open to receiving love, they will feel like disappointing job interviews. Even if they have the potential to be a great partner for you, it’s destined to fail.

To find love in 2019, here are five ways to speed up the process.

Start Writing in a Journal, or in the Digital Notes Section of Your Smart Phone. 

I’ve been writing in a journal since I was a teenager with a burning crush on someone I hoped would notice me. Now, when I’m deep in thought, I grab my iPhone and start to write down thoughts and feelings, and go back to them. Often they are about love and relationships.

Make your Social Media Profiles Date-Ready

If you’re not ready to take the plunge and sign up for a dating app, which I highly suggest you do since it’s peak dating season now through Valentine’s Day, take a bold position on your Facebook page, and change your relationship status to “Single.”

If you’re really ready to find love, someone on your friends page might have had a secret crush on you, and thought you were still attached. You might be surprised if someone asks you out, or even offers to introduce you to a friend.

At the beginning of the year, many relationships end, as it’s natural to want to start the calendar year with a clean slate. It’s also a time where a New Year’s resolution includes finding love, so I challenge you to put it out there, especially if you want to manifest the best love you’ve been dreaming about.

Post new photos of your holiday vacation, love quotes to show you’re in the mood for love, and keep a positive attitude on social media.

Create a New Profile on Two to Three Dating Apps

Sunday, January 6th is known as “Dating Sunday,” the busiest day of the year for singles using dating apps, and Match predicts 1.5 million messages will be sent during peak season. If you’re dateless on Sunday night, make sure you’re logged on at 9:05pm/EST, where it will be the busiest day of the year for singles looking for love online.

Match also has proclaimed Friday, January 11th as “First Date Friday,” where all of that chatting during the first week of January will result in scheduling more first dates than ever.

Our friends at Coffee Meets Bagel reports they saw a 75% hike in new signups on Dating Sunday, as compared to the 30 days prior to the first Sunday in January, and estimates 11:30pm/ET as their busiest time.

OkCupid is now calling Dating Sunday, “Saddle Up Sunday.” They expect a 50-70% surge in new daters using their app.

Date While On Vacation

Did I ever tell you the story of how I once met a fabulous guy in my 20s on the beach in Acapulco? I wrote about it in my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, and although his hometown was a five-hour plane ride away, we stayed together for three years.

Had I not been in vacation mode, I probably wouldn’t have given this great guy a second look. When you’re relaxed and happy on vacation, you’re less judgmental, and that long wish of the perfect partner seems to ease up. Try using that technique the next time you go out on a date and ask yourself, “Is this someone I’d want to spend time with if I were on vacation?” You’ll open yourself up to more opportunities to meet wonderful people, I promise!

Fall in Love With Yourself, Seriously

We all know that self-love and finding what we truly desire starts with having that conversation with yourself. If you become the person you’d like to date, it’s amazing how the universe will bring an abundance of opportunities your way.

I often tell my clients to look in the mirror and repeat three times, “You are the prize.” It helps build confidence and minimizes the neediness of trying to be what someone else wants you to be instead of being yourself. When you realize that you’re lovable, if will be noticed by the people you surround yourself with. People want to be with someone who is happy, smiles, and sees the glass or goblet as overfilling with joy, instead of being with someone who is depressed.

If you’d like to look your best on dating Sunday and during peak season, we’re here to help with our signature Irresistible Profiles.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever your may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of online dating, and has been coaching singles on finding love online and on mobile apps for almost 25 years. Follow @JulieSpira on Instagram and Twitter.

Dating Sunday – The Busiest Day for Online Dating is This Weekend

Dating Sunday - Julie Spira

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dating Sunday, on January 6th, is the world’s largest digital love-fest. It’s also peak season for online dating, so get ready to join the party.

We’re busy at Cyber-Dating Expert with new singles joining the dating pool in what we call the “Trifecta of Dating.”

  1. Singles are putting love at the top of their New Year’s resolution list.
  2. More singles are joining the dating pool due to a pre and post-holiday break ups.
  3. The countdown clock to Valentine’s Day is ticking.

On ABC 7 Eyewitness News in Los Angeles, I spoke with Anabel Muñoz and John Gregory on why Match has proclaimed this Sunday as the most popular day of the year for online dating.

Watch the segment below.

What should you do to get ready for Dating Sunday?

The days leading up to Dating Sunday are a reflective time for many who are thinking about finding a meaningful relationship.

It’s also “peak season,” for online daters, which starts right after Christmas and goes through Valentine’s Day. 

It’s a time for new beginnings, so take new photos, update last year’s profile, and turn on your push notifications to make the most of this season.

RELATED: 5 TIPS TO ROCK DATING SUNDAY

What is Dating Sunday?

Dating Sunday, or #DatingSunday is the day dating sites see the greatest surge of users. Match been analyzing data since the site was launched in 1995 and predicts 9:05pm/ET, will be the busiest, with the most usage.

The site reports a 69% spike in new singles joining on this day. During peak season, 50 million messages are expected to be sent during peak season, through Valentine’s Day, resulting in 1 million dates!

It’s actually quite exciting to see singles become so positive about finding love online and joining mobile dating apps and sites at the start of the new year.

Other sites, such as Plenty of Fish, expect over 117,000 new signups on Dating Sunday, peaking at 9pm.

Remember, 1 in 3 relationships start online, so you’ll be in good company and we’re here to help you find love in 2019.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of online dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online and on mobile dating apps for almost 25 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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New Year’s Dating Resolutions for 2017

Happy New Year in love

We’re getting ready for 2017 and many of you are so done with 2016. It was a bumpy road for relationships, life, love, politics, loss of musical geniuses, and more.

For those who have the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions, here’s some wise dating advice to add to your list.

Before you say, “bah humbug,” if your holiday was filled with Aunt Sally asking about your relationship status, or your friends changing theirs to the point that you slammed your computer shut and deleted all mobile dating apps, now’s the time, before New Year’s for singles who dreaded the holiday and are ready for a new beginning. So along with the new diet and gym membership, joining a dating site and hiring a dating coach has become a BIG priority. In fact, the phone is ringing off the hook and we are getting booked solid the first week of the new year for new Internet dating profiles, so get ready for the ride!

Match Predicts Dating Sunday on January 8th

Our friends at Match have told us that they predict Dating Sunday to be held on Sunday, January 8th, where it’s expected to be the BUSIEST day of the year for new online dating signups at 8:49pm/ET.

During this time, Match reports they plan to see a 42% spike in new singles coming to the site to meet someone.  Dating Sunday falls within Match’s Peak Season, which is going on RIGHT NOW and spans from December 26th to February 14th, where they expect to see these enormous numbers:

  • More than 50 million messages sent
  • 5 million new photos being uploaded
  • 1 million dates taking place

PlentyofFish Predict Dating Sunday to be on January 1st

Our friends over at PlentyOfFish tell us that their busiest day of the year will be a week earlier on Sunday, January 1st. POF expects signups expected to reach an extraordinary 110,546, a 48% increase above the average daily rate in 2016.

Yes indeed, everyone will be looking for love in 2017.

POF’s stats illustrate a changing dating landscape, with more singles than ever trying online dating for the first time. 2016 saw 18,176,325 first-time PlentyOfFish signups, and over half a billion conversations between members (600,325,016, to be exact).

  • Signups on PlentyOfFish will peak at 2pm PST on Sunday, January 1, 2017

  • Sunday, January 8th, will be the second busiest for PlentyOfFish, with an expected 103,910 signups

  • Projected PlentyOfFish signups for January 2017 are expected to exceed 2.5 million

So how do you jump on the digital love bandwagon?

Our Irresistible Profiles Coaching programs come in a variety of levels, from Going Steady, a profile critique to Totally in Love, with a brand new profile and 30 days of unlimited text/email support, to our VIP Digital Matchmaker plan for the most serious of singles, which includes a new profile and 10 private coaching sessions.

So get out of fear mode, stop ghosting, stop swiping without meeting IRL, and come to the digital party with all the tools you need for a happy and loving 2017.

Make it your New Year’s resolution to live your life with authenticity –Online, offline, and where ever you may swipe or roam.

If you need some help in getting started with your online dating profile, contact us and we’ll help you create that IRRESISTIBLE Profile to help you stand out among the millions of online daters.

Julie Spira is a dating coach and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter, where you’ll also be able to download for free the 7 Secrets to Finding Love Online.

Wishing you much love and joy in 2017.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for Dating Advice

P.S. We are SO EXCITED to be a finalist for Best Dating Coach in the iDate Awards. Please vote for us to win at idateawards.com so we can come home with a trophy to be proud of. 

10 Dating Resolutions for the New Year

Dating Resolutions 2015

New Year’s dating resolutions. Do you need them? Sunday, January 3rd was the busiest day of the year for online dating.

With the first full week of January filled with new hopeful singles joining online dating sites, it’s time to change the way you’ve been looking for love online.

With am estimated 25-50% of new members joining the weekend after New Year’s, it’s time to think about a realistic resolutions list when it comes to matters of the heart and digital dating.

From joining the gym to the latest diet craze, we come up with lists that are so unrealistic that even Wonder Woman couldn’t achieve half of the items on the checklist.

Match.com reports that during the first week of 2015, they’ll expect to have over 2 million singles logging on over 30 million times! Are you ready to take the digital plunge?

PlentyofFish expects signups to jump over 24% on Sunday, January 3rd with approximately 81,000 new people joining their site.

With numbers like these, when it comes to matters of the heart, singles need to become reflective and take a good look at their dating patterns to join the digital party.

RELATED: THE BUSIEST DAY FOR ONLINE DATING IS JANUARY 3rd

Here are some questions to ask yourself in the New Year

  • Did you date the same type of people over-and-over again?
  • Are you swiping left or right without looking at his or her profiles on mobile dating apps?
  • Did your relationships sizzle at the three-six month mark when the honeymoon phase was over?
  • Is your list of the traits of your perfect mate too big, too narrow, or just unrealistic?

Here are 10 suggestions and a list of resolutions to start fresh in the New Year.

Take a moment to jot down a list of those you dated in 2014.

Seeing the exact number of dates you went on will help you rethink your strategy. If you went on one date a month, you’ll need to increase the number of emails and swipes to send and respond to online.

Write down a list of the personality types to see where your patterns are.

We all have a type, but if you’re dating the same type of person over-and-over again and it always fizzles out, try expanding your search. Think about someone more adventurous, creative, or outside of your geographic area.

Beware if they seem too good to be true. 

Chemistry is great, but how many times have you had instant chemistry, thought he or she was ‘the one,’ only to have it end as fast as it started? It’s like being side-swiped in a car accident. Beware of the instant anything and give someone another chance and put a second date on the calendar.

Don’t get hung up on physical qualities only.

If you’re wondering why men often lie about their height, it’s because you posted on your profile that you’re looking for someone 6’0 tall. Understand that in the United, about 14.5 percent of all men are six feet or over. That leaves about 85% of the male population at under 6′. Ladies, give a guy a break and become more realistic.

Guys, are you wondering why women lie about their age? They believe you have a perceived notion of the way a woman will look at a certain age. These days, so many singles work out to stay in shape, but law of gravity can get the best of people physically. Be more open minded to someone with the kind heart, even if the scale is tipping a bit.

Date people you could be friends with first.

I have a rule when I work with my dating coaching clients. If the potential date is someone you could be friends with, the please schedule a date on the calendar. Having the foundation of a relationship based on friendship is key to everlasting love.

RELATED: 6 MOBILE DATING APPS TO USE IN 2016

Find someone you’d be proud to introduce to your friends and family.

Have you ever dated someone that most of your friends said, ‘buyer beware?’ Finding someone who blends in with your friends and who actually wants to meet them is important for the health of your relationship. Romantic nights together alone are important, but if he or she never wants to socialize with your friends, it’s probably not a good match.

Decide what similar interests are important – religion and values.

If you’re looking to start a family, find someone else who has the same goal. If you’re a single parent and want to blend your families together, date someone who also has children and is open to having a bigger family. If religion is important to you, join a niche site such as ChristianMingle,  JDate, or JSwipe. Make sure your search parameters on larger mainstream sites state your religious preferences to find someone who shares the same faith as you. Find out the relationship history with his or her parents and family and see if they are in sync.

Don’t play too hard to get and wait to long to respond to his or her email/text.

I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” When you play hard to get, the other person may lose interest or find someone else more who’s enthusiastic about getting to know you.

Watch how your dates treat the servers at restaurants.

Kindness is important in a relationship, but what happens when you’re out in public? If he or she treats the servers rudely, it’s a red flag. In this case, I say run, don’t walk.

RELATED: THE DATING EXPERT GUIDE TO BREAK UPS

Listen more than talk.

It’s normal to get nervous on a date or excited and want to tell your date all about your life story. I say, stop and take a big deep breath. Listen to your date and let them tell you what they’re looking for or what passions they have. No one wants to be on a date when it’s all about the other person. When you’re listening, chances are your date will tell you exactly what you need to hear, to determine if it could be a match or not.

Answering these questions will help guide you better to determine who you should be adding to your date card.

With online dating in peak season now through Valentine’s Day, finding a date shouldn’t be a difficult task.

Remember your time is precious and more isn’t always better. It’s not the race to the finish line that matters. Every relationship serves a purpose and helps you get closer to knowing truly what you want. While falling in ‘like’ or ‘lust’ at first sight is common, it takes multiples seasons to determine if you’re truly in love with someone; a person who will be with you when there’s the inevitable bump on the road.

If you meet someone that you truly connect with, I encourage you to open your heart, swipe right, be open to the possibilities, and give someone a second chance in case they were nervous on a first date. Love yourself first so you are able to love others.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam in 2016.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and was an early adopter of the Internet. She’s been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles. For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

New Year’s Dating Resolutions You’re Likely to Keep

2012 New Year's Resolutions You're Likely to KeepWe all start out the New Year with good intentions and new resolutions. If you?re single, you may create a personal list after a disappointing New Year’s Eve alone. ?You tell yourself it will be different next year and add finding love to the list along with a better diet and more exercise.

As good as your intentions are, like many resolutions, after a few weeks you lose momentum.? You end up spending more time checking your friends? facebook activity then focusing on logging on to Match, eHarmony, or OkCupid.? Finding love online ends up moving down on your list of daily activities.

When you decide it’s time to make finding love a priority, you should make a commitment to sign up for an online dating site or two.

Why should finding love online stay on the top of your list? Forget the holiday pressures and red candy hearts. The period from New Year’s through Valentine’s Day is when singles will either join an online dating site for the first time, or renew their memberships. Most sites have an increase in membership by an average of 10% or more from now through Valentine?s Day. It?s peak season in the dating world. You need to play to win, or in this case, log on to find love.

Just like refreshing your Facebook profile with new photos and new updates, you need to keep your online dating profile robust and intriguing, instead of your former stagnant profile.

Here are three simple-to-follow and keep New Year’s resolutions for singles looking for love in cyberspace.

1. Refresh your profile. If you are satisfied with the online dating profile you currently have, change the order of your sentences and add something new and exciting that you’re looking forward to doing in the near future. Perhaps it’s an upcoming vacation or seeing one of your favorite bands in concert. As a result, your profile will become refreshed and chances are you will show up higher in a search. Remember to add new photos. If they’re good enough for Facebook, go ahead and add it to your Internet dating profile.

2. Reach out and reconnect. Did you get too busy during the year and miss out on meeting someone you started to communicate with online? Take a look in your Inbox and see if he or she still has an active online dating profile. Reach out and send an email with a simple, ?Happy New Year” as a digital ice-breaker If their profile is still online, assume they haven?t met ?the one? yet. It may be a time for a new beginning for both of you.

3.?Narrow down your search. Do your friends complain that you are too picky? Have they stopped fixing you up? There?s nothing wrong with knowing exactly what you want in a relationship. Remember, no one really gets it all. We compromise on certain things and decide what our deal-breakers are. Make a list of what is most important to you. Number it from 1-10. Now, focus on the first 3 items on your list. Is it religion or hiking? Strolling through museums? Put those key words in your search. You might be delighted to see who appears on your screen.

If you need some extra handholding, I will work with you privately to create an irresistible online dating profile, complete with a catchy screen name so you can stand out in the crowded digital playing field. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com/irresistible-profiles

Let’s make this year the one you really find the love you are looking for so you can become the next Cyber Love Story of the Week couple.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more online dating tips and advice follow Julie on Twitter @Julie Spira and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Dating Advice – New Year’s Resolutions. Who Needs Them?

Happy New Year in love

Welcome to 2010. For those who have the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions, I have some dating advice to add to your list.

Bah humbug? No, not really. I met several singles over the holidays who dreaded this time of the year and were looking forward to a new beginning. January is the single largest month for new subscriptions to online dating services. When they discussed their frustrations with online dating, I asked why it wasn’t working for them.

The number one reason was FEAR. Yes fear. Fear has caused many singles to lie about their age to fit into a search. This isn’t new. So, when a 59 year old fairly attractive male told me he said he was 55 in his profile and he wasn’t planning on changing that number, I asked him,? “Will you still be 55 when you are 60?”? He had to think about the answer.

Most of us look in the mirror and think we look younger than we are. We see photos on Facebook from high school and college friends and they always look older than we do, or at least we think so.

I continued my discussion with the almost 60-year old man. He was concerned that only older women would write to him. Maybe some will. When I convinced him that he didn’t have to go out with every woman who wrote to him,? especially those that didn’t fit into his search, he eased up for a minute.? When I was positive that he wasn’t going to tell the truth about his age, I asked him how he’d feel if a woman lied about her age and said she was 5-10 years younger. Although it’s a common trend in cyberdating,? he said it’s a turn-off to him.

Finally, I asked him to make a New Year’s resolution to update his profile. He was not going to say he was 59 as fear of turning 60 made him panic.? He did reluctantly agree to adding a “disclaimer” in his profile saying that he was really 59 but looked and felt much younger and wanted to fit into a search.? I asked him to be honest about his age. He said he’d try it. After all, he hadn’t been successful in lying on his online dating profile in the 3 years he has been on multiple Internet dating sites.

It’s a New Year. 2009 was difficult for many with the economic turbulence. The desire for singles to couple-up is at an all time high. Wouldn’t you want someone to be honest with you from the beginning?

Make it your New Year’s resolution to live your life with authenticity –Online, offline, and where ever you may roam.

If you need some help in getting started with your online dating profile, contact us and we’ll help you create that IRRESISTIBLE Profile to help you stand out among the millions of online daters.

Julie Spira is a dating coach and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com