okcupid Archives - Page 4 of 4 - Cyber Dating Expert : Cyber Dating Expert
In the News

What White Women and Men Like the Most – Online Dating Stats from OkCupid

Our friends and OkCupid have analyzed 526,000 profiles of their members to see the differences between men and women, ?as well as compare their white members to their Asian and African American membership base.

What did they find? It appears that both women and men of all races love sushi.

White women like getting dressed up, romantic movies, dirty dancing, country music, and Eat Pray Love.

What White Women Like

On the other hand, white men like Harley Davidson, hockey, and the big lebowski.

What White Men Like

Click here for full article on OkCupid

10 Best Cities to Find Love Online

Our friends at OkCupid looked at over 1 million active users on their free online dating site to see where the most active singles resided in the past year.

In an article on Forbes.com, Sam Yagan, OkCupid’s CEO and a friend of CyberDatingExpert.com talked about the specifics of each city. Whether they are filled with tech-savvy singles or college students who chose to reside in their college town, overall the popularity of online dating continues to rise.

As more singles are busy signing onto Facebook on a daily basis, they are expanding their personal search onto Internet dating sites in record numbers.

If you’re lucky to live in one of these top 10 cities, it’s time to log on more often and revise your online dating profile. If not, I suggest you cast a wider net and look outside your geographical area if you are serious about finding love online.

OkCupid’s Top 10 Cities to Find Love Online

1. Boston, MA

2. Washington, DC

3. San Francisco, CA

4. Seattle, WA

5. Atlanta, GA

6. Portland, OR

7. Philadelphia, PA

8. Los Angeles, CA

9. Dallas, TX

10. Detroit, MI

Why People Lie in their Online Dating Profiles

Lately, more than ever, the subject of lying in one’s cyberdating profile has become a hot topic. Some have become accustomed to the age, height, and income exaggerations for the benefit of showing up in a search.

It appears that lying on your profiles never goes out of style. It’s become a bit of an epidemic. On July 29, I will be a guest on The Stars of PR with Cindy R at 7am/PT. Her radio show segment is called The Big Lie on VoiceAmerica Radio Network. Cindy contacted me as lying has become so in vogue that she wanted to do an entire segment on why singles lie to fit into a search. Just days later after confirming my show segment with Cindy Rakowitz, ?my friend Sam Yagan at OkCupid sent me an email with their latest statistical great post in OkTrends called The Big Lies People Tell in Online Dating. I am a big fan of OkCupid and always look forward to their blogposts.

Let’s take a deeper look at OkCupid’s findings, which are not shocking. Of course, I’ll toss my two cents in.

1. HeightReality: People are 2 inches shorter in real life. If you have read my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online,?which was released on Valentine’s Day in 2009, there is a chapter called “Profile Definitions.” In this chapter I list a side-by-side comparison of 21 profile definitions in “What They Say” and “What They Mean.”

My first entry simply said:

WHAT THEY SAY: Male: Height 5’7″

WHAT THEY MEAN: Male: Height 5’5″

It appears things have not changed in the past few years.

2. IncomeReality: People are 20% poorer than they say they are.

OkCupid says that apparently, an online dater’s imagination is the best performing mutual fund of the last 10 years. I have to agree. More often than not, men are not putting their income on their profiles so they don’t have to see for themselves what the economy has done. Others aren’t interested in finding gold diggers. A recent online dater that I know of listed his previous salary which was 50% higher than his current income. ?He was in his 50s. He also said he was divorced, however he was “separated, divorce pending.” Interesting data from OkCupid.

3. Photos – REALITY: The more attractive the picture, the more likely it is to be out-of-date.

OkCupid has some terrific tricks to determine when a photo was actually taken. It’s worth taking a look at. Their findings claim that “most of the pictures on their online dating site?were of recent vintage; site-wide the median photo age at upload was just 92 days. However, hotter photos were much more likely to be outdated than normal ones.”

I don’t disagree, but here’s a refreshing and amusing twist on the other side. A recent dater that I know of sat across from his attractive date and confessed the following: “I’m sorry. I’m uncomfortable. You appear too young for me.” Yes, you read this correctly. He was expecting an older woman, someone closer in age to himself or at least visually closer in age to his ex-wife, and not a woman that appeared closer in age to his daughter.

He added that, “Most women lie about their age in their profiles so I was hoping you would be older. You look younger than your photo.” Now, this isn’t the norm, but are we accustomed to being disappointed on our first dates to the fact that if you do indeed look like your profile it is a complete shock?

4. Swinging Both Ways – REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender.

OkCupid claims to be a gay-friendly site and has some interesting statistics about their members in their study. The fantasy is clearly greater than the reality.

Feel free to comment and share your opinion. Do you lie on your online dating profile? Have your expectations been lowered to the point that you are in shock when someone looks like their profile and accurately represents themselves?

I hope you listen to our radio show segment on this subject on July 22, 2010.

Julie Spira is known as the Cyber-Dating Expert. She created her first online dating profile in 1994. She is the author of bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberdatingExpert.com. Follow her on Twitter @JulieSpira. Like the Fan Page

iDate 2010 Update – The Internet Dating Conference

Julie Spira at iDate

Ravit Abelman, Omnidate and Julie Spira, Cyber-Dating Expert at iDate

Twice a year the online dating industry gathers in the U.S. to discuss the latest trends in Internet dating. The conference, called iDate, was held last week in Beverly Hills at the SLS Hotel concurrently with the Social Networking Conference. The event started with a 3 hour presentation by Google followed by the evening party at the Stone Rose Lounge hosted by Elitemate.

This year I was a speaker and presenter on Web 2.0 Dating: Using Social Media to Create Brand Loyalty.

I spoke about Twitter marriage proposals and celebrity breakups and how Facebook has become the third largest country in the world. Social media is successfully keeping users engaged and informed with meaningful updates, dating advice, and well-deserved bragging rights of their success stories.

One of the examples of dating 2.0 I spoke about was, social dating site Zoosk. Zoosk has done an excellent job in creating brand loyalty through social media. When they reached their 1 millionth “fan” on Facebook, they celebrated by creating a video called What is a Milion to thank those who now like their page. They posted?it on the Zoosk blog, on their Facebook page where over 200 fans commented and over 600 said they liked it. ?They posted their video on their YouTube channel for Zoosk TV,?where they have over 4500 views for this one celebratory video.

Other examples I presented included online dating newcomer, Brainiac Dating. Their Facebook page features profiles and photos of singles looking for love online. Several online dating sites use social media to engage their fans. eHarmony‘s Facebook page gives advice to daters. A sample update of theirs is, “Picnics make great casual dates, especially in the summer. What are some good picnic ideas?” Lavalife has a contest on their page where you can vote for the Top 10 singles. Match.com congratulates their success couple of the week, and JDate include their success stories on their pages.

I provided a list of online dating sites on Twitter. Sample tweets from online dating sites included eHarmony_Jack: “Are you in love or are you infatuated?” ?Match “How do you break up with someone you met online? 25% of Happen readers said on the telephone.” OkCupid: “Speaking of faced and attractiveness..has the recession made you more beautiful?”

iDate 2010 - The Final Debate at the Internet Dating Conference

I participated in the conference highlight, The Final Debate, along with Elitemate’s CEO Victor Daniel, Mark Brooks from Online Personals Watch, Karinna Kittles-Karsten from Sacred Love, Tai Lopez from Niche Enterprises, Violet Lim from?Lunch Actually,?and Frederick Vallaeys from Google adwords.

Mobile dating was clearly a hot topic at the conference. Thank you to Marc Lesnick, head of the Internet Dating Conference and Mark Brooks from Courtland Brooks for the opportunity to speak at this well-respected event about Dating 2.0 and Social Media.

The next two Internet Dating Conference events will be held in Paris, France on September 15-17, 2010 and in Miami, Florida on January 19-21, 2011. If you missed my presentation and would like to hear more, contact me at CyberDatingExpert.com/contact or Social Media and More.

Cyber Love Story of the Week – Lisa and Kevin

Cyber Love Story of the WeekLisa joined the online dating site OkCupid while she was still in college in southern California. She was busy working on her thesis on online dating for her major in Sociology so she thought she’d give the free site a try. She participated in their “quick match” game where each participant receives a picture and some information. She saw Kevin’s picture and clicked on “yes.”

Kevin was working as a computer programmer in northern California when he received an email from Lisa who lived hundreds of miles away. Fortunately fate brought them together when he also clicked “yes” when he saw Lisa’s photo. It was the epitome of a digital cupid!

As a student and waitress, Lisa couldn?t financially justify a flight up to San Francisco just to meet this guy she’d been talking to over the internet, so she painstakingly called in every favor of everyone she knew in order to get a job interview in San Francisco. ?It took her 6 months to secure the interview and another month to pick her outfit (not for the job, but for their first date.) Oddly enough, she ended up getting the job, and was able to move up to the same city where Kevin resided.

Because they were so far away, and didn?t meet for so long, ?they had the opportunity to do something that many people don?t get. They were able to get to know one another as friends. They hadn?t met in person, and didn?t want things to get romantic until they had done so. But they had such an incredible passion for one another, that they stayed up late every night talking on the phone for months, learning every detail about one another before their first date. Lisa and Kevin liked talking so much, that it was a short leap to full-fledged relationship. The first time he kissed her, she had this incredible jolt and ?got the strongest feeling that this was the person she was going to kiss for the rest of her life.

The relationship grew quite quickly and she moved in with Kevin. They have now been together for 19 months and she couldn’t be happier with him than she already is.

Congratulations to Lisa and Kevin where a simple class experiment turned into a beautiful relationship of love.

For consideration in the Cyber Love Story of the Week, send us your stories!

Click here to read more Cyber Love Stories

OkCupid on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show


Listen to the Season Premiere of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show featuring Sam Yagan, CEO and co-founder of OkCupid.

Find out why they are different from other online dating sites and why Sam thinks his site is like an online singles bar.

Hear about OkCupid Trends, their blog filled with interesting surveys including:

  • How to get a better response to your initial greeting
  • How short or long should your profile be

Find out what the most popular dating tests are including:

  • The Commonly Confused Words Test
  • What Kind of Girl Are You Test

Hear about their iPhone app and what Sam thinks of mobile dating and more on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.

Just Announced – 2010 Line-Up for Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

It’s going to be an exciting year of guests on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show. Join me this Sunday, January 9, 2010 for the season premiere featuring Sam Yagan, CEO of the online dating site, OkCupid.com. OkCupid is a free online dating site that is very Web 2.0 friendly. The Boston Globe calls OkCupid, “The Google of Online Dating.” The Valentine’s edition will feature love expert and bestselling author, Dr. Diana Kirschner. Diana’s book, Love in 90 Days will be released in paperback on February 8, 2010. We’ll be talking about her new chapter, “Dating Games Men Play.” We’ll provide dating advice and online dating tips on Saturdays at 2pm/eastern time.

Additional guests will include:

  • YourTango – Tom Miller (Tomfoolery)
  • Lovetropolis.com – Michael Lombard, CEO
  • True.com – Herb Vest, CEO and Founder
  • David Wygant – Dating Expert
  • Skout – Christian Wiklund, CEO
  • Lucia – Cougar Relationship Expert
  • Textflirting – Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, Authors
  • Make Every Man Want You – Marie Forleo, Author
  • Andrea Syrtash – Dating Expert and Author
  • Blackbox Republic – Sam Lawrence, CEO
  • eLove.com – Paul Falzone, CEO

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show airs on Saturdays at 2pm/Eastern Time. The call in number is 646-929-0012 or visit BlogTalkRadio to listen online.

Click here to read full release

Cyber Love Story of the Week – Leslie and Stan

leslieandstan2Stan joined the dating site OKCupid last year, while going thru a divorce following 20 years of marriage. He liked the social networking aspect of it, but wasn?t really meeting the right kind of girl he was looking for ? someone edgy but not crazy.

Leslie joined OKCupid at the beginning of this year, goaded on by another single friend who had met lots of interesting people on the site, and wanted a girlfriend to compare stories with.

OK Cupid is geared more toward alternative individuals, like those who work in creative fields, go to Burning Man, and have unusual hobbies. Leslie didn?t have great success at first, and in fact the only man she was going to meet up with coincidentally turned out to be one that her friend on OK cupid had just gone out with the night before, so she bided her time.

Eventually she got an email from Stan ? he said that her hairdo got his attention, and he liked her profile. She read his profile and he looked like what she was seeking. He described himself as an alternative-type guy with a good heart and active lifestyle. He wrote that he loves cooking and cycling, which are two of her favorite hobbies as well.

The two met and BBQ?d together for their first date. Leslie was impressed with Stan?s BBQ skills. It almost didn?t go past the first date, though, because Stan was so shy that Leslie had a hard time connecting with him. However, she warmed up to him in the weeks that followed. Now they are a very happy couple.?He cooks for her all the time, which is a delight for Leslie since she?s usually cooking for everyone else. They enjoy leisurely weekend bike rides along the beach and seeing independent and documentary films.

Both were skeptical about online dating but found success so now are converts.

Congratulations to Leslie and Stan, our Cyber Love Story of the Week from your friends at Cyber-DatingExpert.com

For consideration in the Cyber Love Story of the Week, please send your stories to SUBMIT STORY.

Read More Cyber Love Stories

« Previous Page