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This New Tinder Feature Will Help You Stand Out

Tinder Boost

Are you tired of swiping right on Tinder and waiting for a match to appear? Do you feel like you’re in a numbers game and it’s no longer fun to play anymore?

If you feel this way, you’re not alone.

Tinder has announced on their blog, a new feature rolling out called ‘Tinder Boost’ to help you appear at the top of a match search. This new feature will help you “skip the line,” so they say and will allow you to be viewed as a top profile for 30 minutes to increase your chances of getting a mutual match.

Related: Why You Won’t Delete Tinder When You’ve Found The One

Here’s how Tinder Boost Works

1. Make sure you’re in Tinder Mode (turn off the social feature)

2. A pop-up will appear asking if you want to skip the line.

3. Sign up for Boost and you’ve got 10 minutes to be in premium mode.

4. Watch the countdown clock and make sure you make the most of your 10 minutes.

5. Start matching, chatting, and meeting IRL.

Related: Bumble Makes Men Reply or the Match Disappears

P.S. Tinder Plus members get one free boost a week, so we suggest you use it on a Sunday or Monday night, where singles have either had a weekend of bad dates or were dateless and want to change that before the upcoming weekend.

Tinder’s sisters dating sites/apps Match and OkCupid are already charging singles to appear during peak hours and the Bumble dating app also has a boost premium feature.  The Tinder mega mobile dating app is now testing their boost service in Australia and will hopefully be in the U.S. soon.

Will you pay more on a mobile app to appear higher in a search?

Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.

For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram, and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Quote of the Day

Ghosted Quote

Quote of the Day: “When you get ghosted, be happy they’re on a one-way ticket with no return address.”
~@JulieSpira

Many of you have been victims of ghosting. As the ghosted expert, I can tell you I’ve spent hundreds of hours helping singles whose boyfriend or girlfriend disappeared with no explanation. There is no closure and you might find yourself wondering what you’ve done wrong.

Read: Is Your New Boyfriend Ghosting?

I’m here to tell you that ghosting is an epidemic and over 80% of millennials have admitted they have either ghosted or been ghosted by someone they had been seeing. This doesn’t make it right.

Read: Most Millennials Have Been Ghosted

If you are one who has been ghosted recently, be glad they’ve taken a one-way ticket out. Ghosters typically do reappear again. Hopefully you’ll have moved on by then and won’t even remember their name.
If you need closure on your ghosting experience, reach out to us to share your story and we’ll hold your hand and bring back the confidence to get back on that dating saddle.

Read: Ghosted for the First Time

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

For dating and relationship advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt to get dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Read: Confused, Is he Ghosting?

 

#MusicMonday Quote of the Day

Happy Music Monday. As we start a new week, it’s time to put the digital DJ hat on and share a musical quote from the bankd UB40 about love to warm your heart.

Music Monday

“Love is a thing, well, it’s kid of like quicksand: The more you are in it, the deeper you sink. And when it hits you, you’ve just got to fall.”

Don’t be afraid of falling into quicksand. Open your heart. It isn’t a lifetime sentence, but could be a lifetime of happiness coming your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on Twitter and Instagram

Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles programs will help you find your dream date and read our many client testimonials.

Top Online Dating Profile Words in U.S.

Online Dating Profile WordsWhat do you learn from joining 21 online dating sites? This in-depth study of a list of the top online dating profile words used by single daters in major cities in the U.S.  was a huge project to take on.

In Business Insider, writer Dana Varinsky details the research from artist, composer, professor of digital media and now a well-versed online dater R. Luke Dubois to highlight the top dating profile words in ten cities. Varinsky downloaded 19 million dating profiles, so we know he didn’t go on a dating frenzy, but the results of his research are a digital eye-opener.

So if you’re planning on changing your zip code, check this article out.

Varinsky downloaded dating profiles and created graphs of the following cities:

  • Los Angeles, CA – Lingerie, Booty, Spanking, Screenwriter
  • Washington, DC – Paraguay, Estonia, Kashmiri, Political, Journalist, Socially
  • Boston, MA – People, Drinks, Laugh, Sox
  • New York, NY – Now, Taxi, Photography, Brunch, Hipsters, Urbane, DJ,
  • Houston, TX – Rich
  • San Francisco, CA – Bisexual, Homosexual, Lesbian, Queer, Robot, Digitized
  • Detroit, MI – Automotive, Machine, GM, Graduating, Companionship, Dope
  • Anchorage, AK – Outdoorsy, Nippy, Berries, Corsair
  • Jackson, MS – Conservative, Cornbread, Baptist
  • Chicago, IL – Companionate, Gravitated

According to Business Insider, Dubois used 10 computers and took three months to compile his data in a project called, “A More Perfect Union.”  In essence, he created his own online dating version of singles based using keywords from profiles instead of the cities in the U.S. Census report.

While some of these might not surprise you, others might just make you want to change your zip code.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for two decades. Julie’s the author of the bestseller The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

 

 

 

 

What Happens to Relationships When Summer Ends

text end of summer on beach

Summer Love Affairs

From teenage crushes to boomers with empty nests, something odd happens around Labor Day weekend for many relationships. When you hit the 3-month mark, the honeymoon phase, it’s common to see a shift. It may be a tell tale sign that your relationship can’t go the distance, or you just might be getting tested for the next phase.

For those flying solo, the end of summer can be a reflective time thinking about your relationship status as you head into the holiday season, kicking off with Labor Day.

When summer is over, wardrobes change in closets, the temperature starts to dip, and inevitably a summer romance, one that went from Memorial Day to Labor Day, often runs its course. It’s often a time where relationships fall by the wayside. Before you call it quits, read this entire post to determine if your relationship is worth saving. If you’re already single, then I have good news for you. You’ll be in good company with many others who are looking for someone just like you and this weekend will be hopping digitally, big time.

Also, with students leaving for college, some students will find themselves in a long-distance relationship, which has its own set of challenges.

Single parents with children going back to school, will find their calendars split between parent-teacher meetings and filling up their date cards. It’s a new season, so get ready for the ride.

If you’re logging on to dating sites more often this weekend, you’re not alone. Sunday will be a peak day of the holiday weekend for new sign ups and log ins for singles who’d like to change their status to “In a Relationship” before the year is over.

Does a Change of Season Mean Your Relationship Has to End?

With the change of seasons, how do you know if you can handle a long distance relationship this fall? If your significant other is still in town, how do you know if your passionate summer love was just a fling or the real thing?

If you notice your relationship is tapering off as we lead into Labor Day, should you part ways as friends now that summer is over and wish each other well, or sign up for another season of love? These I can guarantee you are questions that you will be asking yourself. I suggest you take the time to really think about the next relationship stage.

Related: How to Handle the Dreaded Pull Back

The Four Seasons of a Long Term Relationship

I’ve always said that long-term relationships should go through multiple seasons to determine if you’re compatible with your significant other or not. Yes, winter, spring, summer and fall. All of them, each with their unique beauty and differences can help you pass the test of time.

First Three Months

As cliché as it sounds, we know there is some validity to the three-month honeymoon phase. At first, you’ll find everything about the other person to be exciting. It’s like having a first crush all over again. From giggles and hiccups to their exercise regime, you just suck it all in like a sponge that won’t dry out in those early days, especially in a summer romance. All those cute text messages are becoming part of your daily regime. It gives you a high just to hear the customized sound of your partner’s text tone.

When these relationships peak in the summer, it’s often hard to tell whether it’s lust or love with all of the outdoor heat, but oddly, as the summer ends, it’s not unusual to start receiving less text messages from your beau, or to want to spend more time with your friends instead. The days in between getting together seem to be getting longer while the days start to become shorter. The routine of your love life just isn’t as exciting as it used to be.

Months 3-6

During months 3-6, the “imperfect stage,” don’t be surprised if your single friends see your steady sweetie’s profile reactivated online. He or she may just be fishing to see who else might send a text or email, even if they aren’t setting up any dates. Then a Facebook check in mysteriously appears when someone is supposed to be home sick and boom, they’re busted and you’re in tears. During this phase, you should be enjoying time with each others’ friends and family to see how everyone fits in, or not.

If you can relate to these feelings or sequence of events, the problem may not be with the calendar, but more often-than-not be related to serious commitment issues that one of you may be struggling with.

The next think you know, someone isn’t sure if they’re feeling it anymore. Rather than be honest about the relationship, they’re cultivating conversations on Facebook with high school or college pals to create distance, and the trust dissipates. It’s the beginning of the end and it hurts big time.

Weather changes, months change, routines change and even those relationships with the best of intentions run their course. At the end of the summer, it’s like the end of the calendar year. People reevaluate their relationship statuses and decide whether to renew for another three months.

Related: What to Do When He Pulls Back

By months 6-9 and 9-12, you’re probably in a committed relationship. You’ve defined the relationship and might even talk about moving in together or the future.  This doesn’t mean you won’t feel a shift at the end of the summer. It might be just a bump on the road, but it’s a time to review your relationship status and see if you’re on the same page.

What to Do if Your Summer Romance is Fading

If you feel a distance growing between the two of you, this is what you need to do.

Have the conversation first with your partner sooner, rather than later.

Don’t toss away the relationship so quickly. Acknowledge all of the amazing things you’ve done together as a couple and honor the memories you’ve shared. Ask the other person if there’s anything they can do to keep the relationship alive. Space apart isn’t the end of the world, or even the end of your relationship. Often someone needs some time to miss the other and pulls back to regain their sense of self and individuality.  Remember, bumps on the road are an opportunity for personal growth within a relationship, and are not necessarily the beginning of the end.

Say goodbye gracefully.

If at the end of your conversation, you feel you aren’t compatible or if someone has already strayed, wish each other well before you start logging on or swiping right on your mobile apps looking for a replacement.

If it’s really over, it’s important to mourn the loss of your relationship, because your friendship, bond and the daily connectivity will abruptly end. Trying to get together immediately as friends during this emotional time is not a good idea. It will backfire. There’s no such thing as a mutual breakup where everyone is happy. One person might think it will lessen their guilt. I’m here to tell you that it won’t. You fell in love with someone for a reason, not a season.

Related: Time to Let Go of Your Ex

Take a breather and make time for you!

If you find that your summer love has ended, don’t reactivate your online dating profile or mobile dating apps for at least a week. Sure it’s great for your ego to get people lining up to meet you for dates, but it isn’t fair for someone new not to get the best version of you. Dating while you’re still pining away for your ex can increase your sadness. You’re a walking-wounded person and it’s healthy to take a break.

Can you Really be Friends with Your Ex?

Some people stay friends with their ex’s and have no problem with it, but I can tell you it doesn’t happen seamlessly and instantly. My ex-boyfriend is one of my best friends, but it took time to get to that point and we had a serious talk about boundaries. Also the guy I originally wrote this article about three years ago just sent a text over Labor Day weekend, after disappearing many years ago.

After enough time has gone by and you both have moved on with other relationships, it’s possible to be friends with your summer romance in another season, but in my experience, you truly need at least three to six months to segue a romantic relationship into a real friendship (without benefits or jealousy).

But then again, do you really want to be friends with someone who broke your heart?

If you’re ready to find a serious relationship, contact us now for our Labor Day Special of 20% off Irresistible Profiles  and become one of our many success stories!

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram. Sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

“The most precious possession in the world is the heart of his or her partner.” ~Julie Spira

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Follow Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on Twitter and Instagram

Like us on Facebook

 

 

Happy National Matchmaker Day

 

via GIPHY

Happy National Matchmaker Day! Every day seems to be a holiday, but today our friends at Match sent us a tweet to honor the matchmakers who help the love world go around.

The matchmaking industry has changed a lot since the days of “Fiddler on the Roof.” As the Digital Matchmaker, we’re proud to have been responsible for so many happy couples and marriages. We are so honored to be in the love business with our Irresistible Coaching programs and have given so many of you hope when you thought you’d never find love just a click or swipe away.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for embracing our dating and online dating advice.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

~Julie Spira and the Cyber-Dating Expert team.

Follow Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram and sign up for our FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

What to Do if Your Boss Sees Your Dating Profile

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowIt’s bound to happen, you nervously put up an online dating profile with the hope of finding someone special to date, and suddenly it’s spotted by your boss, your neighbor, parents of friends of your kids, co-workers and more.

As a dating expert and coach, I’ve seen this happen to many of you. In my relationship column on Bikini, a female reader asked this question.

Q: I caught my boss checking me out on a dating website? I’m not sure if I should be excited or disturbed

A: Of course your boss is on a dating site or a mobile app. So are you and over 50 million other singles, including people who don’t know about your relationship status. It does feel like a creepy boundary issue, doesn’t it?  Chances are your boss was scrolling through hundreds of profiles photos in your geographic area and your familiar face popped up on the screen or on his mobile phone, so it was natural to take a peek at your profile.

So many sites allow you to see who has viewed your profile, so this isn’t unusual. Before you start comparing bad dates with your superior, my best advice is to ignore it. Then take matters into your own hands and block your boss from viewing your profile. I call it digital housekeeping. This way he or she won’t appear in your search and you won’t appear in theirs.

Both of you now know you’re on the same dating site and it could be just as uncomfortable for him or her as well. If your boss happens to mention viewing your profile, don’t have a meltdown. Just say, you’re single and dating and can’t think of a better way to meet someone outside of work than by joining an online dating site and mobile dating apps.

At some point, you’ll meet an amazing guy and will be taking your profile down anyway.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Do you have a question for online dating expert Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

SIGN UP for our FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for quotes about love and romance.

20 Tips from Female Dating CEOs at Silicon Beach Fest

Silicon Beach Fest Dating CEOs

Photo: Left to right: Jennifer Kelton, Kelly Steckelberg, Talia Goldstein, Julie Spira

Dating and looking for love? In case you missed it Silicon Beach Fest, it was an honor and joy to put together the first-ever Female Dating CEO panel for a lively discussion on the dating industry, relationships, and tips for online dating profiles and safe dating.

The panelists included some of the busiest women running dating and matchmaking companies, who took the time to collaborate on an informative panel and answered questions from the audience.

Collectively our businesses represented 30 years of dating industry, matchmaking, mobile apps, and coaching experience. We talked about the big elephant in the room, Tinder, and how it has affected our businesses as well as your dating experience.

Here are some of the advice we dished at SBF16.

Panelists

Kelly Steckelberg, CEO of Zoosk and Lively Mobile App

Jennifer Kelton, CEO of Bad Online Dates and BOD Dating App

Talia Goldstein, CEO of Three Day Rule, a Matchmaking Company

Julie Spira, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and Online Dating Expert

Kelly Steckelberg - ZooskKelly’s Top 5 Tips from Zoosk:

  • Use a full body shot as your primary photo, as you’re 200% more likely to get responses to your messages.
  • You will get 50% fewer responses if the primary photo is a group photo. (Guys will wonder, which one are you?)
  • No pets in your primary photo.
  • Talk about yourself and what’s interesting about you, not about what you’re looking for in that person.
  • Use Spellcheck. The Zoosk study about grammar and spelling showed it had a huge effect on success rate.

Jennifer KeltonJennifer’s Top 5 Tips from BOD Dating App:

  • Grammar, grammar, grammar! No matter how good looking they are, grammar matters.
  • Be authentic in who you are. You’ve gotta keep it real. You don’t need to have your profile be a dissertation, but don’t put something out there that’s not genuine.
  • Don’t post bathroom selfies or a photo of a party scene. I realize that I’m probably not going to have a lot in common with that person.
  • You’ve got to think about safety first. Don’t ever meet somebody not in public, even after a few dates.
  • Don’t post selfies in the steamy bathroom mirror. Find a friend to take your photos.

talia goldstein Talia’s Top 5 Tips from Three Day Rule

  • Women need to be proactive and reach out to men.
  • Don’t post “distractor” photos where you are looking at almost everything in the photo, but the person (maybe they’re hiding behind a leaf).
  • Don’t post a mysterious other man or woman. The person viewing the profile will wonder, is this your husband or brother?
  • Do be chivalrous and open a door.
  • The League’s recent study said women wearing white dresses do well in the app, as well as men wearing suits.

Julie Spira Cyber Dating ExpertJulie’s Top 5 Tips from Cyber-Dating Expert

  • Ditch the little black dress and wear red in your profile. It’s the color of love, romance, and men view and write to women more often wearing red.
  • Don’t post goofy photos wearing a gorilla suit. Leave that for Comic Con.
  • Don’t get hung up on someone’s weight, height or distance.
  • Check out your potential date’s photos in Google.com/images to see if they match who they are.
  • Use social media to verify if your date looks the same and see if you have friends in common. Ask your friends if they will give the thumbs up or down on your date.

Follow our panelists on Twitter @zoosk @badonlinedates @threedayrule @JulieSpira

Visit: Zoosk.com, BodDatingApp.com, ThreeDayRule.com and CyberDatingExpert.com

 

 

 

Thought of the Day

Game of Love

Do you ever feel like you’re not a priority in your relationship?

When looking for love or a partnership, are you doing all of the heavy lifting?

If so, you’re not alone. These tips to the Game of Love will guide you into being in the right relationship, and steer you away from the wrong one.

In the Game of love, making the other person a priority, means carving out the time to be together.

The togetherness results in creating memories.

Building memories creates bonding.

Communicating, whether by phone, in person, text, or drone, you’re developing and building to stay connected.

In love, if you combine all of these four giving actions, you can wrap it up in one big beautiful red ribbon.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

xo

Follow Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

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