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Voting is Sexy. OkCupid Says “I Voted” is the New “I Love You.”

OkCupid Voting Report

With the combustive election cycle heading into high gear, you have to be living under a rock to avoid the topic of politics.

In fact, not having an opinion can hurt your chances of finding a date or a romantic partner, according to a new report from OkCupid.

The site reports that politics continues to be the top deal-breaker in dating, with 76% of singles saying how their date leans is vital to them.

According to the OkCupid Voter 2020 report, 500,000 people responded they could not date someone who didn’t vote, with 85% of registered voters more likely to receive a message from a potential date, and 63% of registered voters more likely to get matched.

OkCupid Registered Voters

“Now more than ever, daters want to connect with people who share their values,” says Ariel Charytan, OkCupid’s CEO. “We have always empowered people to match on what matters to them, and our millions of daters across the United States overwhelmingly prioritize civic engagement when it comes to finding someone they are compatible with.”

RELATED: Love at the Polls: Close to 90% Won’t Date Someone Who Didn’t Vote

To help single daters during this gut-wrenching and unprecedented time, OkCupid has created a new voter badge that will automatically be added to members’ profiles if they answer the question, “Are you registered to vote in the 2020 election?”

OkCupid voter badge

This voter badge shows you care about this divisive country we’re living in. By including this badge, along with a previously released badge for Black Lives Matter displayed on your profile, is, in my opinion, a magnet for love.

Singles who say they aren’t registered to vote will soon be redirected to a page on OkCupid in partnership with “When We All Vote,” to register to vote in real-time. The WWAV initiative was launched by Michelle Obama, Tom Hanks, Lin Manuel-Miranda, and Janelle Monae, among others, to help singles register to vote in the 2020 election.

Love is at stake, and now is the time to show your values to connect with someone during this critical and historic election.

If the pandemic and civil unrest haven’t widely opened your eyes, perhaps OkCupid’s state-by-state interactive map will show how singles feel about serious issues of families separated at the border, prison reform, climate change, and stricter gun control. At least they’ll give you topics of conversation to discuss when you match with your date.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you swipe and roam leading to election day.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author and creator of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships, and has been helping singles navigate love for over 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Instagram and Twitter.

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Dating During the Pandemic – Julie Spira on NBC Today in LA

 

On NBC Today in LA, I was a guest with Daniella Guzman and Jonathan Gonzalez to talk about quarantine love and Dating in the Age of COVID-19: How to Find Love in a Pandemic.

I explained why dating is a hot topic in a pandemic, and where singles originally pushed the pause button; Not anymore.

Here’s an excerpt from our interview.

Daniella: The pandemic has put a hold on a lot of things, including dating, in person. Singles are heading to dating apps and websites to meet new people.

Jonathan: Dating is hard enough as it is. Have you seen more people turning to dating apps during this time?

Julie: I have. As a matter of fact, the numbers have really skyrocketed! I have an ongoing poll on my site, DatingintheAgeofCOVID19.com, with the question, how has COVID-19 changed your dating life?

The majority, 83% said they were looking for a meaningful relationship more than ever, with less than 3% looking to hook up.

Daniella: So how does this work? You start with a Zoom meeting, and what’s your suggestion on how this works to date during the pandemic?

Julie: We do go in stages, and I’m a big fan of virtual dating. I created something called the Dress Rehearsal, where I actually go on “mock date” with people to get them ready for their date.

I check their lighting and what they’re wearing. As you can see I’m wearing red, and red pops on a video video date. 

We start slowly, with the first date being just a virtual drink. So I suggest bringing something bubbly, and putting on something that you’d wear if you were going to meet for happy hour, and do come with a happy face.

Daniella How can people stay safe if they do choose to finally make that next step and meet in person?

Julie: Right now, I’m not recommending meeting in person. I believe you’re better off safe at home, having virtual dates and doing fun thing for each other; sending deliveries.

I know some people send Venmo payments so they can pick up the tab from for their date’s dinner from their favorite restaurant.

Do things that are actually fun. Take a painting class together.

Start thinking about things you might want to do when the coast is clear to meet up in person.

Daniella:  It can get really lonely. This is a really good way, if not anything, to make a new friend as well. But, there are risks involved, always.

How can users make sure the person they’re talking to is the same person as their profile pictures. Does it make it more difficult when you don’t see that person?

Julie: This, Daniella, is the reason I believe in virtual dates. Whether you’re using Skype or Zoom or FaceTime, here’s an opportunity to make sure that someone’s not a “catfish.’ If their profile photos look a certain way, and then you get on a date or hop on a call, and they’re not recognizable, well, they’re probably hiding a lot more than just old photos.

Jonathan: Thank you Julie Spira for joining us today. You can find Julie on Instagram @JulieSpira and on her website at CyberDatingExpert.com.

Ask the Virtual Dating Expert – Should I Reach Out to my Ex During Corona?

During this period of self-isolation, quarantining, and when life seems so uncertain, it’s not unusual to reach out to old friends, family members, and of course, the ex who’s still on your mind.

Whether you’re sending a text to rekindle the spark, or just because you really care about their being, now’s the perfect time to reach out and say hello.

Chris, a reader sent in this question to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert on this subject.

Dear Julie,

I hope you’re staying safe and healthy during this crazy time.

I’m reaching out because I could really use some advice. I would like to reach out to my ex, but I’m not sure what is the best approach.

We stopped speaking eight years ago, and I tried calling her 3 years ago, but received no response (please note, I sent her a follow-up text). I’m assuming this was her way of saying no.

If given the opportunity, I would try to take the approach of showcasing to her the new person I am but haven’t had the chance.

When we stopped speaking, we were 20 and didn’t end on the best of terms, but I feel like now that we’re two older adults, eight years later, maybe things could be different. Please note, she lives in New York, and I’ve been living in L.A. for the past six years.

Would reaching out to her again after my previous attempt even be worth it?

Thank you Julie. Any and all guidance would be appreciated.

Chris

RELATED: 8 Reasons Why She Didn’t Reply to Your Text

Dear Chris,

Thanks for reaching out. You’re not alone.

It’s been a busy time with people connecting on dating apps to meet someone new, and a lot of singles are reaching out to an ex to check in and make sure they’re safe during COVID-19.

If you try to reach out, it can’t jump in to sell the “new you” to her, and should only do so to show your concern for her health and well-being.

If you take the “look at the new me,” approach, she may feel like you’re pressuring her into an instant relationship and have ulterior motives, and it will backfire for sure, and most likely result in you getting ghosted again.

Plus, we don’t know if she’s in a relationship, or the thought about entering a long-distance relationship is something of no interest to her, especially with someone where there was a bad breakup.

For now, you’ve still got her on a pedestal, reliving past memories and hoping for a new future, which isn’t realistic.

WATCH: What to Do if He Only Wants to Text Me

Keep in mind, you don’t even know what she’s like in today’s time, eight years later. Perhaps her personality has changed, and you won’t like the “new her,” and if you met today, it wouldn’t be a fit.

Still, try to stay in the friend zone, because that’s all anyone’s ex can be right now, it’s the perfect time to reach out to her in a text to say: 

“Hi (insert name), I hope you’re safe and well during this crazy time.” Then add your first name.

Don’t ask her to answer a bunch of questions, don’t ask her about her relationship status and if she’s seeing anyone, or would consider getting back together.

Living in the past can haunt you, as you try to navigate love moving forward, which is an ideal time, as 75% of singles on the Love Poll in Dating in the Age of COVID-19 say they’re looking for a meaningful and long-term relationship.

If there’s any time to reach out, it would be now, but don’t start jumping into lengthy text exchanges, and don’t be surprised if you don’t hear back.

Reaching out once the crisis is over would be less genuine, so now’s the time to show you care, with no expectations. Consider your ex, an old friend, and everyone changes in the course of close to a decade.

Start looking for someone online who’s terrific and wants to meet someone just like you. If you’ve truly evolved in the past eight years, someone will benefit from your self-growth.

Keep me posted!

Julie

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 25 years, and as a virtual dating expert, helps singles master video dating with her Dress Rehearsal service.

3 Ways to Know if You’re on a Date, or In the Friend Zone

Photo Credit: Pexels.com

These days, meeting someone online for drinks doesn’t always equate to going on a romantic date. Add in to the equation that many singles tend to go out in groups, so defining dating has become complicated.

Unless you’ve met someone on a dating app, and you’ve stated that you’re looking for a long-term relationship, meeting someone you like or have a crush on for drinks could mean a several things.

From getting together to hang out casually to, expanding your social network or even to talking shop if you met this person in the course of business, unless they lean in for a kiss, you might be in the friend zone, for now.

With all of these possibilities, it might be baffling to know in advance if you’ll be on the same romantic page as the person you’re meeting for happy hour during the week.

Ramp Up Your Flirting Skills 

To know for sure if you’re on a date, notice if there are visible signs of flirting. This could be in the form of sending regular text messages, possibly with a flirt emoticon, letting you know they’re single, and watching their body language to see if they smile when they see you.

Since first dates need to be in a low-pressure environment, I always advise going on a date to expand your social network and also to see if there’s any chemistry. There’s nothing worse than meeting someone you’ve got a crush on, only to find out they have a live-in partner they never mentioned before.

If you’re female, and you’re hoping your upcoming get together will be a romantic evening, make sure you dress up for the occasion. That means to change your outfit from work-mode to something a little flirtier such as a little black dress with a jacket and boots, add a little lipstick, and you’re ready to go.

Be Interested in Your Date

Remember to listen more than talk to find out more about the person you’re meeting for drinks.

Watch for their body language when you arrive. Are you greeted with a hug and a smile, or a handshake with your chair pulled out for you.

Try to limit your alcoholic intake to one drink, and at the end of the date, see if they’d like to get together again. If the person you’re meeting picks up the tab, that’s code for being on an official date, and a great sign if you feel the same.

If they suggest splitting the bill, know that you’re in the friend zone, and be okay with it. You never know if this person has a friend they could introduce you to, so be an exciting date, regardless of the label.

Follow Up When You’re Still Aglow

If you had a great time on your date, send a text the same evening to thank your date for getting together, and to let them know you had a great time and look forward to seeing them again.

Don’t play the waiting game, because the squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. As an early adopter of the Internet, Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years. 

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

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Study: Twice As Many Couples Now Meet Online than through Friends and Family

How did you meet - Online Dating

Guess what?

Research shows the majority of singles aren’t relying on friends and family to fix them up anymore.

Online Dating is the Most Popular Way to Meet

A new study shows a rapid increase of couples meeting online, to the tune of double the amount than meeting through friends.

Researchers, Michael Rosenfeld and Sonia Hausen from Stanford University and Reuben J. Thomas, of the University of New Mexico, have published their findings in a research note called, Disintermediating your friends

What they found is that for the very first time in the United States, is that online dating is the most popular way for heterosexual couples to meet.

The intersection of the two occurred in 2009. In the latest study released on July 15, 2019, it showed that close to 40% of singles met online in 2017, as compared to 20% who met through friends. Additionally, 11% of the couples surveyed met through co-workers, with 7% through family members.

On BBC Radio 5 Live, I spoke with presenter Sarah Brett, about this research study and the upward trend of digital dating

The simple question of, ‘How did you meet?’ was asked of 3,510 couples, with close to 40% saying they met online.

The reason for this considerable spike is everyone is attached to their mobile phones, and dating apps are so easy to use these days. Using dating apps cuts out the extra time of having a middle person like mom, dad, or your BFF wait for a reply from a friend-of-a-friend to introduce you to.

It puts fate into your own hands as you swipe left and right in search of finding your perfect match.

To those naysayers who still believe dating is the same as in 1995, where only 5% of couples met online, it’s time to grab your mobile phone and create the most irresistible profile you can. I have a feeling I can help you in your quest.

Your next relationship is just a swipe away.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. As an early adopter of the Internet, she’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira for Dating Advice

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Should I ask a Guy His Last Name Before a Date?

Dating Advice - What's Your Name

Part of dating includes being organized, and if you’re using dating apps and find there are several men named Steve, should you ask them their last names?

One of my dating coaching clients posed this question, as she was preparing for her second date with someone she met online.  The truth is, she really wanted to check him out, and by asking for his last name, she thought she could get some information about him to help her feel safe.

How should she ask him, and should she even ask at all?

My response was simply not to ask for his last name.

Here’s why.

When someone asks for your last name on the phone, it’s basic code for letting you know they’ll be doing a google search, or maybe even digging deeper into a background search. 

I asked her how she’d feel if her date did the same, checked out where she lived, if she owned or rented, or any other personal or financial information. She replied that she wouldn’t have liked that either.

What I suggested, was to tell her date that she’d meet him at the theatre, to thank him for offering to pick her up, and to let him know that she’d like to take him up on his chivalrous offer to pick her up on a future date.

This way, she’s playing it cautious, acknowledging that he’s a gentleman, and letting the conversation flow during their date, where possibly more will naturally be revealed.

If she’s still stuck on getting the last name, I suggested she share hers with him casually, knowing that he’d probably reply with his.

Remember, it’s a date, not a deposition.

No one wants to feel interrogated about their net worth, but everyone wants to feel comfortable and safe.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is an award-winning dating coach, and America’s Top Online Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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3 Tips for a Great Dating Profile for Singles Over 50 – Today Show

Photo Credit: Today Show

The number of singles dating over 50 is growing at a rapid rate, with new members joining online dating apps in record numbers. An OurTime Singles Over 50 Survey showed that 72% of singles over 50 say they’re open to finding love in the future., but almost half of all singles 50+ went on a date in the past five years.

On the Today Show, I shared how singles can create an Irresistible Profile, by posting my worst dating profile and comparing it with my best dating profile with Maria Shriver.

Watch the video below for highlights

The three tips we shared include:

Tip 1: A Photo is Worth 1000 words.

BAD PROFILE: As you can see in my ineffective profile below, I’ve included photos with a group of people, which is confusing to a potential date, and a selfie wearing dark glasses, which shows there could be something I”m hiding, instead of looking into the eyes of the man of my dreams.

Ditch the Bikini Photos if You’re Looking for a Serious Relationship

There is so much wrong with wearing a bathing suit in your dating profile. A selfie wearing a bikini top is a mistake, as it’s just viewed as a bra or lingerie with different material.

Plus, are there bedroom eyes behind those shades? It sends a message that a hookup is a possibility, which is not the intention.

Post Photos of Activities You Love

GOOD PROFILE: If you post photos of the activities you like doing, and caption them, it gives a formal hint to your date of possible places to take you. In this case, music is a big part of my life, and I caption it by asking someone to request a song.

For the dates who fear meeting a golf widow, posting a golf photo shows I’d like to go to the driving range with a date, or perhaps take a lesson when my date is playing a round of golf

Tip #2: Focus on the Positive

As shared on the Today Show, I compared a bad profile filled with so much negativity and an exhausting wish list. It would send someone running for the hills. How many men are really 6’+ tall? Perhaps 10-15%.

Instead, I shared one that’s realistic and easy for someone to feel like they can step up to the plate, by opening a door and having an intellectual conversation.

Tip #3 Keep Your Wish List Short and Sweet

Maria decided to keep her list simple, and desired someone who’s kind, fun, smart, funny, and smart, and we uploaded a photo of her showing her award-winning smile.

Click here to watch the full segment

It’s peak season for online dating, so if you need your hand held, contact us to find out how Irresistible coaching will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet, and has been called “The Pioneer of Online Dating” by Cosmo. Julie coaches singles from Millennials to Baby Boomers on finding love in the digital age.

Follow @JulieSpira on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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How Singles Can Stand Out During Peak Dating Season

Dating Advice Peak season

Hang on to your digital hats and make your mobile phone your new BFF, as the momentum from Dating Sunday, the busiest day of the year, will now continue through the peak season, now through Valentine’s Day.


What happens on During Peak Season?

Peak season is one of the busiest times of the entire year for new signups and activity on dating apps, Know that you won’t be swiping alone and that your next match could be a click or swipe away.

Between breakups from last year, New Year’s resolutions including finding love, and the ticking countdown clock to Valentine’s Day, there’s a huge flurry of activity going on, and it’s time to join the digital party.

Here are four tips to help you fill up your date cards online right now, so you can meet someone to connect with offline in 2019.

RELATED: USA Today: ‘Dating Sunday’: The busiest day of the year for online dating is Jan. 6

1. Post New and More Photos.

When you post at least six photos, you’ll have a greater chance of someone reaching out or responding to you.

Most dating apps allow you to post six to 10 photos, and I encourage you to use all of the digital real estate available to shine and look your best.

The options usually allow you to snap a photo on your mobile phone’s camera, use existing photos from your camera roll, or often you can link to your Facebook or Instagram photos, to grab some of your favorite pictures.

Apps including Bumble and OurTime let you upload six photos, Match and OkCupid apps allow up to ten photos, and Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel lets you post up to nine photos.

Which Photos Should You Post?

Dating Peak season Photos

Did you get a new puppy? Post a few shots and let your potential date know the name of your four-legged friend in the caption. Women love photos of men with their puppies, but men shy away from women with cat photos.

If you’ve just returned from a great vacation, post some scenic shots and make sure to add the captions.

Try to keep the photos about you, and leave the party shots behind. Posting too many group photos can become confusing to those gazing at you, and I recommend that you toss out the photo wearing sunglasses and the selfie shots.

When you’re dating online, your profile needs to be about “you,” so your potential date she can start imagining becoming an “us” with you in mind.

The good news is you’ll start receiving notifications and comments about your photos, so you can see which ones are the most popular when it’s time to swap or rotate pictures. It’s also the perfect opportunity to write back to those who have complimented you.

2. Give your bio a digital facelift.

Many singles write a profile, toss up a few photos, and wait for all of the messages and push notifications to roll in.

RELATED: 5 Ways to Find Love Online and IRL in 2019

Being passive isn’t going to work, and neither does playing the waiting game. I’m here to tell you there’s no magic formula to attract “Mr. or Ms. Perfect instantly,” but this advice is as close as you’ll get. You MUST rewrite last year’s profile, which is now stale, and continue to update it from time-to-time, just like you do on social media.

To keep it simple, try rearranging your sentences to help boost your visibility, or tease your potential date with details of your upcoming vacation. I tell my clients they should always revise their profile with their latest travel photos. Even if your dream is to hike Mt. Kilimanjaro, snap a pic at a local hiking trail in your neighborhood and remember to caption it.

3. Use your mobile app and turn on push notifications.

Make sure you have the push notifications set to the “on” position on your dating app, so you can know instantly when someone is interested in you, or replies to your message.

Everyone is using their mobile apps to check texts, get calls, and scroll through their Instagram feed, so finding love on your phone is the most effective way to fill your date cards.

4. Start Scheduling Dates.

Dating Peak Season Tips

There’s been a lot of chatting back-and-forth, and not enough meeting in person. If someone interesting writes to you, don’t wait to write back. I say strike when the digital iron is hot and get a conversation going and put a date on the calendar.

If you don’t, someone else will, so start searching, swiping, get the convos going. It’s time to fill your date cards and schedule dates on your calendar with someone who’s been waiting to meet someone just like you.

If you need help to jump start your dating life, contact us to find out how our Irresistible Profiles can help you find your dream date.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet and mobile dating, and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Photo Credits: Fotolia

Dating Sunday Survival Guide

Dating Sunday is around the corner, and on the evening of Sunday, January 6th, most dating apps will see the busiest activity of the entire year.

Dating Sunday, also dubbed the “Super Bowl of Dating,” is an official holiday in the love business. It’s the time for new beginnings and your next relationship could just be a click or swipe away this Sunday night.

Why is Dating Sunday becoming a trending news story?

With the beginning of every New Year, the subject of love is high on the dating totem pole for most singles. This usually happens because finding love is on New Year’s resolutions lists, holiday breakups peaked up until December 24th, and singles would like to find someone special with Valentine’s Day around the corner.

RELATED: Julie Spira Talks to ABC News About Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday – Julie Spira – ABC News from Julie Spira on Vimeo.

Since there’s a huge uptick in dating app usage across the board starting the first week of January, the dating industry now has an official annual holiday, Dating Sunday.

How Big is Dating Sunday?

Dating apps such as Match, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid, Tinder, and Bumble see their activity soar from 50-75%, so it’s a great time to join the digital party.

Match expects over 1.5 million messages to be sent at 9:05pm/EST, and Coffee Meets Bagel predicts the chattiest times between midnight and 1am local time.

How Can You Shine on Dating Sunday?

RELATED: 5 Ways to Find Love in 2019: How to Find Love Online and IRL

Know that some people are joining dating apps for the very first time, and others are rejoining after a taking a break, or a break up.

Remember having a naked profile will result in less views, messages, and dates, so it’s digital real estate that needs your attention.

Just like reading a blog, you don’t want to have a profile that was written last year, or even several years ago. If you’ve taken up a new hobby, include it on your profile. If you have tickets to a concert or sporting event, list it, and you might find a date to join you.

What will make Dating Sunday and beyond work for you is to post new photos from the places that made you the happiest and where you felt your best.

Caption them if possible with the dates and locations they were taken, or describe them in your profile to help create an ice-breaker for someone who’s intrigued by your profile

Add emoji’s to help you stand out in a flirty and fun way, and we sure about your intent on what you’re looking for.

Be Authentic About Your Dating Goals

With over half of the single population using dating apps, not everyone is looking for the same type of relationship. Some people are looking for a serious relationship, while others are looking for friendship or someone to go to a movie with.

Representing your best authentic self, will help lessen the overwhelming feeling you might get when you log on and have so many options.

The only way Dating Sunday will help you fill your date card, is to communicate and respond on Sunday night, because the squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.

You’ll want to be chatting with people you can click with, and make sure to swap digits so you can schedule dates for the following week.

Be Responsive

A relationship is about becoming a couple, and while you might be flattered to receive a lot of messages or views, if you don’t respond right away, someone else will. We’ve seen so many singles excited about a potential date, but when they played the waiting game to not seem too eager, they’ve lost out, as that person decided to focus on one person who was more available.

Being proactive and responsive shows you’re confident about yourself, which is a turn-on to both men and women. Playing games was last decade. It’s time to meet IRL, and let Dating jump start the process and pave the way for love in 2019.

We’re here to help you make your dating profile Irresistible for Dating Sunday, and throughout cuffing season and during peak dating season.

Wishing you much love and joy on Dating Sunday, and wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of the Internet and for almost 25 years, she’s been helping singles find love online and on mobile apps.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter, for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Love at the Polls – Close to 90% of Singles Won’t Date Someone Who Didn’t Vote

Midterm Elections Dating

Do you remember when the “off-limits” subjects on a date were politics and religion?

The world is all eyes on the 2018 Midterm Elections, and not voting just isn’t sexy this time around.

Political conversations have permeated the Internet, social media, and most certainly have been tagging along on dates since Donald Trump ran for and won the Electoral College.

In the dating world, it continues to heat up, with dating app Bumble expanding users profiles to include stating your political party by selecting if you’re apolitical, moderate, liberal, or conservative, and separately, you can now indicate if you’re a voter, or if you’re not voting this time around.

On OkCupid, they continue to expand their political questions. The dating site and app found leading into the midterms, that over half (58%) of Millennial women “believe a partner who exercises their right to vote is more attractive than exercising.”

While researching and writing my book, Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships, I found that the majority of singles, especially women, agreed that dating someone who didn’t vote was a turn-off, and clearly a dating deal-breaker. Several women actually came forward to say they turned down a date when they found out their date didn’t vote for President.

On Facebook on the eve of the Midterm Elections, I decided to get a temperature reading and posted questions of:

 

“Is Dating someone who doesn’t vote a turnoff?”

Not Dating Voting Deal Breaker

“Would you date someone who doesn’t vote?”

The responses and comments were heated, with the majority, 87%, saying they won’t date someone who didn’t vote, as compared to 13% who said they would. Some actually engaged in same-sex flame wars with those with different political views.

One friend tagged me on Facebook with someone else’s comment of, “Don’t bang people who don’t vote.”

Yes, politics is entering the bedroom.

Here’s a curated list of some of the responses and sentiments people are posting about voting in the age of Trump.

Feel free to comment, and please, show up to the polls and vote.

Midterm Poll

“As long as they didn’t vote for Trump.”

“I’d vote to DUMP them. If you don’t vote, you don’t really care about the direction of our country. I couldn’t fall for someone who really didn’t care about that.”

“[Voting] says a lot about a person and if they don’t care/participate in our democracy. Life’s too short to waste an hour. Ask ahead.”

“It’s important to be a participant in society! No excuse not to vote! Shows laziness, self-centered character traits; maybe someone who is greedy.”

“It says a lot about a person if they don’t care/participate in our democracy. Life’s too short to waste an hour. Ask ahead.”

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“If you don’t participate, you forfeit the right to criticize.”

“Apathy is not sexy.”

“Complete turn-off and I wouldn’t date someone who didn’t vote.”

“I’d give them a pass if they were a convicted felon and could not vote. But then again, dating a convicted felon might not be such a good idea either.”

“No…that means they don’t care about their country.”

“I’d get SERIOUS with someone intelligent, responsible, and driven enough to be an informed voter.”

“I did and it was not good. Our basic values were so clearly illustrated by our differences in political beliefs to begin with.”

“No way! If they’re that disconnected about elections, I’d also be concerned about what else is being glossed over.”

“Election Day has always been my Super Bowl! Tough to nerd out with someone who’s not engaged with the process.”

“YES— I would not date someone who doesn’t vote and it’s okay to agree to disagree, but it has to be based on logical facts, not emotional fiction.”

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“Absolutely a no go! Voting is a moral responsibility.”

“I wouldn’t let someone’s voting habits or political beliefs get in the way of love.”

“If you don’t care enough to vote this point, you should leave the country.”

“If you don’t vote, I will not date you. I don’t care who you vote for, but please vote.”

“If he doesn’t vote, he’d better have a big bank account and a bad cough.”

“It would irk me, but not make me reject him. Now I would reject someone who votes Republican.”

“Turn off for sure.”

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“Politics is not a factor in a personal relationship.”

“Might depend more on how they vote, not just if they vote.”

“Someone who votes for Trump or Republicans in these midterms is a turn-off.”

“Here’s my position on non-voters. Shut the F up about government! When you vote, you may participate in the conversation. Take being a citizen seriously by voting.”

“No vote stub. No tongue.”

“If someone doesn’t vote or doesn’t find voting important, it is literally one of the biggest turn-offs.”

“Would you rather have a great voting life or a great sex life? Hint, only one of these will most likely lead to a divorce.”

“To each his own, although I would try to convince him that it matters. Not a deal-breaker to me.”

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating, and as the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

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