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These Words Will Add Humor to Your Dating Profile

After writing thousands of online dating profiles over the course of 23 years, as an online dating expert and coach, I’ve seen first-hand what makes a profile different and why people respond to some over others.

While most single men and women say they are looking for someone with a sense of humor, it’s on the list of clichés in a dating profile.

So how do you make your potential date laugh, respond to you, and show your sense of humor? There’s a fine line between being silly and goofy and looking like a complete clown.

Our friends at  Zoosk, polled a group of their members to find out EXACTLY which words got the most responses in the humor category. The published their findings on their dating advice blog, The Date Mix.

RELATED: Top Online Dating Profile Words in the U.S.

So laugh a little, say ha ha, add an LOL and add a hilarious photo with a caption if you’d like to show off your witty side. You don’t need to be a comedian if you have this cheat sheet handy.

Zoosk Humor Infographic

So if you see something funny in someone’s profile, let them know it’s hilarious. If you can find a funny photo or add a joke to your message, this survey says you’ll 50% more messages! That’s worth more than just laughing about.

So add an emoticon, talk about your witty side and promise to laugh at their jokes.

For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. Julie was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles programs. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and ranks as the most influential person in “dating” and “online dating” in social media.

 

 

 

When It’s OK To Break Up in a Text

text message break up

I’ve always said it’s never acceptable to break up in a text message or email. It’s not even acceptable to breakup via phone if you live within driving distance of each other, or if you have plans to be together in person if you’re in a long distance relationship. It’s just too easy to break up these days.

If you cared enough to get naked with someone, you should give them the courtesy to end the relationship in a two-way dialog, and not in a digital monologue. That’s the rule of thumb, however research has shown that drive-by digital breakups via text are on the rise.

If you sleep with your phone by your bed, practically take it into the shower with you, and it’s attached at your hip, it’s become the accessory that pretty much runs your life. You can fall in love from the convenience of your mobile phone and you can end a relationship the same way.

But should you and would you?

Here’s my exception to the breakup by text rule.

If your relationship was a toxic and unhealthy one, or you’ve been lied to repeatedly, cheated on with actual evidence, not just a hunch, then why subject yourself to more lies and deception in a convo?

RELATED: The Text Message Breakup – Who’s Doing It?

If the person you’re involved with and are dating regularly, who you see every week, who calls and texts you every day has an identical relationship going on with someone else and you both think you’re exclusive, guess what? All bets are off. It’s about self-respect and self-protection at this point.

If you don’t want a confrontation and realize the relationship is not worth salvaging, before you draft that text, make a list of all the pros and cons of the relationship. Be very sure. Ask yourself how you’d like to be treated if the relationship wasn’t working out. If you had only a handful of dates, sending a quick text to say you’re not on the same page isn’t the end of the world.

On the other hand, if you’ve become deeply involved with his or her life, their family and friends, and have a full schedule of events together that you just can’t fathom attending, do the following.

  1. Draft that text and send it to yourself.
  2. Sleep on it.
  3. Run it by a close friend.
  4. Send it without expecting any response, or don’t send it if you might have a change of heart.
  5. Know that it’s over and be good with the decision (have no regrets).

Should we just end all relationships via text? Absolutely not. I’m just saying that there are times when you’re in a relationship that starts to get unhealthy that you need to think about yourself.

Maybe your bae ignores you and your texts. It could mean there’s cheating going on, excessive drinking, lying, all the things you wouldn’t want happening to your best friend. If they start happening to you and you see no way out, end it kindly and quickly. Wish the other person well.

RELATED: The Dating Expert Guide to Breaking Up

If you hear from them and they believe there’s been a misunderstanding, hear them out, but usually after you’ve slept on it, put together your pros and cons list of the relationship, you’ll soon see whether it’s worth salvaging or not. If you don’t hear from them, know that you made the right decision and be open to the possibilities of much better relationship, one that you deserve, one where the person adores and respects you to the point that you never have to question whether you should end it via text.

When it’s time to call it quits, do it with integrity. End it in person if you can. A phone call is the second choice. Texting or even ghosting isn’t the way it should go down, but if you do get ghosted, take the high road and don’t text over-and-over again to find out why.

RELATED: Confused, Is He Ghosting?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been helping singles find love online with her Irresistible Profiles coaching programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for dating advice

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Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day
quote of the day

“A great figure of physique is nice, but it’s self-confidence that makes someone really sexy.”

~ Vivica Fox

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What to Do When He Cancels Your Date

canceled date

So you’ve met a great guy online and he’s asked you out again because you had off the chart chemistry and the conversation just flowed on your first date.

Congratulations! You’re making it past the one-and-done dating grind, which is common for online daters and singles using mobile dating apps.

What happens next? You give your girlfriends the good news about your hot date and you and your date get into a groove texting each other every day. Good morning and good night texts keep you connected and keep the very important momentum going during the early stages of dating.

Finally, the day comes when you’re going on your second date with your dream guy, so you pick up your favorite date dress from the dry cleaner’s, get your hair blown dry during lunch so you can look and feel remarkable, and everything feels great.

Then the familiar chime of his customized text rings on your phone. You smile, because you’re sure he’s as excited as you are about the date and he’s just sending a text to confirm your date like a true gentleman.

It’s an hour until date time and as you look down at your phone, your heart falls to your knees. The text says,

“Sorry…have to cancel, not feeling well. Can we reschedule?”

Your gut says, hey he knew he was sick all day and I just spent $50 on a blow dry. This is not cool. You’re not happy and you’re not even sure if he’s sick, found someone else, got back together with his ex, or if he double booked dates on calendar by mistake. Let’s face it, texts like these do happen while dating in a digital world.

RELATED: Gone Fishing, or Is It Over?

What’s a girl to do? The first thing not to do is pout. If you’re both dating online, realize you’re dating other people until you decide to be exclusive. Sure, maybe he got sick and was excited to see you and was hoping he’d feel better by 5pm. Maybe the dog ate his paper and you don’t recall him mentioning having a dog. Maybe he had a work project he had to deal with and felt it was easier to say he wasn’t feeling well. It doesn’t matter. You’re date-ready and his text might be the beginning of the end, or at least the end of a well-planned date.

Here’s the thing about when someone cancels a date.

You really don’t know why he canceled and after going on only one date together, you don’t need to be a cyber detective and make yourself crazy.

RELATED: How to Handle the Dreaded Pull Back

Here’s what you don’t do:

  • Don’t check his Instagram or Facebook to see his last check in or post.
  • Don’t text him more than once to see how he’s feeling.
  • Don’t assume he’s double dipping. The guy really could have come down with the flu.
  • Don’t bitch about it on social media. No one wants to see a “Debbie Downer.”
  • Don’t stay home. You’re already date-ready and you might even meet someone more exciting.

Here’s what you should do:

  • Do give him the benefit of the doubt if he does indeed reschedule. Guys don’t do well with being sick and if it’s contagious, he’s doing you a favor by canceling.
  • Do reply to his text and ask if you can bring over chicken soup!
  • Do find a girlfriend and go out anyway or go online and see if some guy you’ve been chatting with is free to meet you for a drink.
  • Do find your favorite happy hour and go flirt up a storm. Remember to smile and say hello to strangers.
  • Do wait for your date to reach out and reschedule and show him that you can go with the flow, this one time.

RELATED: What to Do When He Pulls Back

If you end up going on the rescheduled makeup date, don’t bring up the reasons your previous date was canceled. Act like it’s still a first date and let him get enamored with you and continue to pursue and court you.  Make sure another date is put on the calendar after the end of a fabulous date, so you can look forward to seeing each other again. Keep the momentum going.

If the same guy cancels again, let him go. It’s time for you to find an available man who won’t look at you as an option, and won’t be playing games and tugging at your heartstrings.

Remember to keep your online dating profile active while you’re casually dating, so you can fill  your date card or chat on your mobile dating app. Perhaps you should kick the date canceler to the curb.

You deserve better and you will find someone else in the crowded digital playground called online dating.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her signature Irresistible Profiles for over 20 years.

Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

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Happy International Happiness Day

1456934358635While we strive for happiness every day of the year, on March 20th we celebrate both International Happiness Day and it’s also the first day of spring!

It’s on a Monday this year, so find some time to add joy and happiness to your life, with a little help with these quotes and gifs to last you all week long.

 

Happiness Day

1. “The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” – Audrey Hepburn

Ghandi Happiness Day

2. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Lily Pulitzer - happiness

3. “Being happy never goes out of style.” – Lily Pulitzer

ben franklin - happiness

4. “The U.S. Constitution doesn’t guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself.” – Benjamin Franklin

Eleanor Roosevelt Happiness

5. “Happiness is not a goal; it is a byproduct.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Happiness - Goldie Hawn

6. “The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are.” – Goldie Hawn

Happiness - leonardo di caprio

7. “If you can do what you do best and be happy, you’re further along in life than most people.” – Leonardo DiCaprio

 To get involved, head over to the official International Day of Happiness website and take the pledge to help create a happier world.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Instagram Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Datingtwitter - Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, newly released with a magical epilogue and a fairy tale ending.

SIGN UP for the Free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

How to Flirt BIG TIME on St. Patrick’s Day

Cyber Dating ExpertSt. Patrick’s Day is here, and it’s time to get into the spirit of this flirty holiday.

Years ago, I would wear a button that said “Kiss Me, I’m Irish,” even though there was not a speck of Irish blood in me.

To help you flirt, big time and to ramp up your digital flirting skills, here’s the online dating expert’s guide to flirting on St. Patrick’s Day.

 

1. Send a flirty text. Texting the the person you have a crush on to say “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” will brighten their day. Add a four-leaf clover emoji. Even if they aren’t Irish, chances are they’ll reply to you.

2. Wear green. Find the tackiest flashing buttons, goofiest, hats, and make sure to wear something green to celebrate. It’s the easiest way to strike up a conversation with someone on St. Patrick’s Day.

3. Change your dating profile. It’s time to mix it up online. Post a photo wearing something green, ask if someone wants to get lucky in love, post quotes about the luck of the Irish and St. Patrick’s Day on your profiles and on social media. Get bolder and post “Kiss me if you’re Irish.” Start swiping right in the morning on Tinder, Bumble, or other mobile dating apps to find a date by the afternoon.

4. Send a GIF. Open your mobile dating app and send a GIF to your digital crush. These days, apps such as Tinder, Bumble, or even Twitter are using Giphy. Send a fun animated GIF to someone you’ve been chatting with to spice up the convo.

5. Send an animated e-card. We’re big fans of JibJab!, where you send a customized a video or e-card starring you. It will come complete with background music and is guaranteed to give a smile or two.

6. Smile everywhere you go. A smile is contagious and everyone wants to be around someone who appears to be happy. Practice the 5-second stare while smiling at someone you would like to meet. It’s the cue for them to come over and wish you a “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.” Who knows where the conversation will lead?

7. Compliment everyone. You might normally run away from the guy with the tacky green tee shirt, but stop and say hello. Take it one step further and pose in a ‘selfie’ together. He won’t be able to help himself and will put his arm around you for the photo. If the sparks start to fly, it’s your invitation to continue the conversation. Be even bolder and post it, with permission of course, on Facebook or Instagram.

8. Find a parade. Go to a St. Patrick’s Day parade in your city. Everyone loves a parade and it will give you an excuse to start a conversation with those you end up bundled up with.

 

9. Go to the dog park. There’s a reason it’s called puppy love. Put a green bandana on your dog’s collar and take a walk to the local dog park. Your dog will do the flirting for you and it will be a great conversation starter.

10. Make a Shamrock Shake. We have a healthy recipe for a Shamrock Shake that you’ll absolutely love and it can be a fun date idea. If you aren’t into buying the ingredients, and are flying solo, head to Starbucks for a coffee date and order a green tea Frappuccino, or go to a sushi bar and order green tea and green tea ice cream.

 

Wishing you much love, luck, and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her Irresistible Profiles for over 20 years.

Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

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Why Does He Text Another Woman

In this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a female reader is uncomfortable with the text messages her boyfriend is sending and receiving from another woman. What would you do? Read our answer here.

Dear Julie,

My boyfriend of over a year texts a woman who lives in a different state constantly. She has feelings for him. I told him that it makes me feel uncomfortable. But he tells me that I’m insecure and that they work together.

Please help!

Rhonda

Dear Rhonda,

Thanks for your message and I’m so sorry to hear about this painful experience you’re going through with your boyfriend.

That would make any girl uncomfortable. If you’ve been together for over a year, I’m assuming you’re in a committed relationship.

Texting or chatting with a woman on social media when it makes you uncomfortable is a form of emotional cheating. He’s giving you reasons to feel insecure, even though she lives in another state. He may be getting a dopamine boost, or at least an ego boost every time he hears the chirp text message from her. 

If he said, “gee I’m sorry. I’ll stop doing that because I don’t want to hurt you,” I’d be happy to hear that.

RELATED: Gone Fishing, or Is it Over? 

Instead he wants to keep flirting with his digital girlfriend, who perhaps doesn’t even know you exist. I get it that it’s a great ego boost for him and it seems new and shiny to him, unattainable, and a bit of a fantasy relationship since she doesn’t live in town.

Here’s what I think you should do. Explain to him that you believe this texting is a form of emotional cheating and ask him why he feels the need to text her. Start sending him flirty texts so that need is fulfilled by you and perhaps he won’t feel the desire to text her. Then ask him to put the brakes on it and stop texting her out of respect for you. Ask him if he will let her know he’s involved with you and that he wants to focus his energies on your relationship.

Know that every man likes to look at women who are attractive and that’s normal. Creating this emotional bond over texts is crossing the line. He can’t have his girlfriend (you) and this girl on the side on his keyboard and lead her on. She probably doesn’t even know about you! Even if he isn’t interested in her romantically, if she made it clear she has feelings for him, this has potential to grow and could be harmful to your relationship.

RELATED: 20 Flirty Text Messages to Capture His Heart

Instead of demanding to see his phone to see the texts, just ask him if he will stop. If he won’t, ask him why this is important to him and find out what’s missing from your relationship so you can spice it up. Texts can lead to sexts and it’s damaging to a relationship. It can also become addictive.

Have a heart to heart talk with your guy before you call it quits, but if he won’t put your relationship at the top and stop these text exchanges with a woman who claims to have feelings for him, it may be time to call it quits.

We’re here to help you, so if you need dating coaching advice, check out our Irresistible Coaching programs.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox. 

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

Today’s Quote is from Jeremy Taylor. Many of you have seen it before and it’s always worth sharing.

The power of love, friendship and passion are parts of the recipe for a great relationship. Always start with friendship, because no matter what obstacles come your way, friendship is the glue that keeps it all together.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

SIGN UP for our Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

 

The Post-Valentine’s Breakup

Peril of the Week - The Valentine's Break UpIf you’re feeling a little down after Valentine’s Day, you’re not alone.

Relationships go through peaks and valleys, or seasons and years.

Most couples love new beginnings and take the time to fall in love with each other all over again, whether from traveling to new places, or going down memory lane to where they once met. The other option is calling it quits because someone thinks the grass could be greener, which usually isn’t the case, and they often find it’s temporary.

When your expectations for Valentine’s Day, or any major holiday for that matter are high, it can cause a bump on the road or a full on collision.

RELATED: Gone Fishing or Is it Over?

The famous Facebook breakup chart shows a little bump the day before and the day after Valentine’s Day, as breaking up on Valentine’s Day would be a cruel thing to do with someone you’ve been dating for a long time.

Facebook Breakup Chart

As you can see, the time from Valentine’s to Spring Break are peak times for couples to call it quits, so hold on to your helmets. This phase happens twice a year and it’s going on right now. If you can make it past Spring Break, chances are you’re relationship will last for at least another eight months.

RELATED: Peril of the Week: The Valentine’s Breakup

Whether your relationship was sliding downward for a while, or the ending came as a complete shock, you’re bound to be feeling sad or down right now if you find yourself in this situation. 

There’s a reason why “Spring Fever” sounds like an illness and why April Fool’s Day is on par with a Valentine’s breakup. I you can relate to this, I urge you to communicate with your partner before jumping to wrong conclusions and losing what you’ve built, forever.

If you’re single, had a disappointing Valentine’s Day, or are in the middle of a breakup or divorce, you might be suffering from post-Valentine’s blues.  You may wake up sad in the morning, feel hopeless, and never get the closure you need to move on in a healthy way.

RELATED: 7 Dating Tips for Spring Fever

On the Wellness Universe blog,  Bernadette Smith listed 7 things to do if you’re feeling down after Valentine’s Day. She included sending yourself a “sweetheart card” and mailing it to yourself as something you’d like to receive from someone who loves you, as well as asking someone to hold your box of chocolates in the line at the supermarket, then leave, thus giving them a chocolate gift from the heart. Do things that make you and others feel good. I found her tips empowering and heartwarming.

The main takeaway from the post is the importance of gratitude.

Every night before I go to sleep, I say out loud, the five people I am grateful for. This helps me sleep better at night with a smile on my face. I also have a wish pillow, where I have a handwritten note in it, describing the type of love I want in my life. I have manifested love and the so-called perfect guy, by visualizing how he looked and he magically appeared. On the road map to love, I’ve been though most of the phases, which helps me be a better dating coach to you and to singles starting over, or who are looking for love online and finding it difficult in the crowded digital playground.

We are at a time where love is being replaced by fear and we don’t have to accept that. I encourage and challenge all of you to bring back love to the top of your list, starting with that lipstick on the mirror that says, “I love you.”

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

If you need a little hand-holding, find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find love. We have helped so many singles through our coaching programs and want to give you hope and the tools to start over again.  Your next great relationship just might be a click or swipe away.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and is an award-wining dating coach. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

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Julie Spira Talks to KABC TV With 10 Dating Safety Tips

Everyday can be like Valentine’s Day, since dating and love never go out of style.

A huge thank you to KABC TV in Los Angeles for having me on Eyewitness News to share 10 of my dating safety tips. It’s my goal to help you date safely 365 days out of the year. Keep in mind, most daters have good intentions, but to be safe, follow these rules.

Some of the online dating safety tips include:

  • Facetime, Skype and/or Phone Date – Use technology to make sure you’re not dating a “bot” and to pass the phone chemistry test.
  • Visit Linkedin and Facebook  – See if you have friends in common and ask them to give you the digital thumbs up or thumbs down on your mutual connection.
  • Be Careful of the Country Dates or Emails from a Military – While I know a man from Los Angeles who married a woman from Paris, if someone contacts you from out of the country, use video chat to make sure they are real and check their punctuation. If someone from the military has a sob story and asks you for money, report them to the dating site.

RELATED: 10 SAFEST CITIES IN THE U.S. FOR ONLINE DATING

  • Saying “I Love You” Too Soon – Some people use those three little words that will make you swoon, but if you haven’t met, how can you really be in love? Sure they “get you,” but if they are mirroring your profile and you think they’re too good to be true, perhaps they are.
  • Meet in a Public Place – While it seems logical to meet in a public place, often someone will invite you to their place to “hang out” or “netflix and chill.” All first dates must be in a public place and let a friend know where you’re going and the screen/profile name of your date.

KABC Dating Safety Tips

  • Don’t Get in Anyone’s Car – While it’s chivalrous to be picked up at home, tell your date if they offer to do so, that you’d like to save that for the second or third date.
  • No Late Night Dates – With mobile apps, you can meet someone almost instantly 24 hours a day. If someone suggests a first date after 9pm, take a pass. That screams “booty call” and you don’t know if someone else was the dinner date, while you’re becoming dessert.
  • Don’t Sext Before Meeting – A Match Study showed that 34% of singles are actually having sex BEFORE they meet.  Millennials up that number to 48%! Remember, anything you text can be shared and if it doesn’t work out, chances are it will. My rule of thumb is, if you don’t want your parents, children, or boss to see your text, then don’t push the send button.
  • Let Google Be Your Best Friend – With my dating coaching programs, I conduct a Google search for email addresses, photos, and phone numbers. While I don’t believe in kissing and telling, I also don’t believe in googling and telling. Sneak a peek and be a cyber-sleuth and if something seems very off, cancel the date.
  • Limit Your Drinking on a First Date – If you’re out for dinner or drinks and are having a great time, instead of ordering a second drink or going home, order a club soda instead. Getting intoxicated on a date could lead to problems you might regret in the morning.

RELATED: Online Dating Expert Julie Spira Named Best Dating Coach at iDate Awards

Remember, how you act offline when meeting someone new is the same as how you should act online. Be safe and enjoy the ride.

Happy dating and I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

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