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Holiday Dating: 5 Tips on Getting Back With an Ex

Cyber Dating ExpertIf you’re feeling lonely at the holidays, look no further than your inbox. It may be time to read some of your emails from a former love that you met on your favorite online dating site.

If you have the urge to reconnect with an ex at the holidays, know that it’s normal.

As a dating expert and relationship coach, many of my clients and their friends are telling me they?ve reconnected this holiday season with long-lost loves. Yes, you?re recycling an ex, but why not give it a shot again with someone you have a history with?

Perhaps it starts off innocently in November with a text message or email saying ?Happy Thanksgiving.? It?s a safe way to reach out and reconnect without feeling you?ll get rejected by picking up the phone. If you receive a favorable reply, it’s likely to make you feel warm and fuzzy.

You may find yourself projecting into the future. Should you ask him or her to the office holiday party? What are their Christmas and New Year?s plans?

With holiday break-up season at its peak, it?s normal to wonder if he or she is in a relationship of still thinks about you from time-to-time.

What are the rules for recycling an ex at the holidays?

Here are ?5 tips on how to attend a special holiday event with your former beau or girlfriend to make it a better experience for all involved.

1.? Don?t try to pick up where you left off. Don?t assume your ex wants to get back together long-term. Try and look at this as a new friendship or the beginning of a new relationship that just happened to resurface during the holidays. Don?t start planning your future all over again and keep the expectations low. Live in the moment on your first date together.

2. Don?t talk about your dating history while you were apart. Perhaps one of you had a lusty affair and the other never got over your initial break-up. There?s no reason to compare bad date stories or wonder how many people your ex went to bed with. Keep the conversation on a need-to-know basis. They simply don?t need to know what happened during your hiatus.

3. Do keep the conversation light and easy. Just like your initial first dates, remember to leave the drama behind. You might think the familiarity should allow you to accelerate things, but being a ?Debbie or Donnie Downer? will turn him or her away faster than you can imagine. Ask about his or her family and how work is going or talk about the latest accomplishments of your children. If your former love interest says they?re seeing someone, respect their relationship status and don?t try to talk them out of it.

4. Don?t talk about what went wrong. You know the reason you broke up. He or she knows the reason you broke up. There?s no need to rehash the past and spend time going down memory lane.

5. Don?t sleep together. Avoid being overly affectionate in public the first time you see each other after a break-up. Unless you really want a ?Friends with Benefits? relationship, don?t immediately end up back in bed. You may wake up regretting it in the morning when your emotions are at an all-time high, as you wonder where the relationship will go.

If all goes well, hopefully you’ll put a second date on the calendar. Or better yet, you’ll rekindle a friendship with someone you admire who has a network of friends he or she might introduce you to.

If you have personally experienced recycling an ex, feel free to share your stories and comment. If you’re interested in trying some of our favorite dating sites, click here.

Julie Spira is an online dating and relationship expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Julie?s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more dating advice, visit CyberDatingExpert.com, where you can sign up for the Weekly Flirt. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Cyber Love Story of the Week – Gail and Mark

Cyber Love Story of the Week - Gail and MarkGail had been a member of JDate for only a couple of days when she received a very funny email. It was so funny that her daughter actually scolded her and said, ?Mom, what is so funny? I?m trying to sleep here.?

The email came from Mark, who had been single for 16 years after his divorce, and had his share of dates. Gail looked at Mark?s profile and realized that he was completely different from anyone she had dated or had been married to. Gail was used to being with lawyers and Mark was a writer and humorist, who had also performed stand-up comedy.

Gail liked Mark?s smile, so she responded to his email and they eventually talked on the phone. Mark wanted to meet Gail right away to see if there was any chemistry in person. The two met at Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica, CA for a three-hour dinner date and walked along the promenade watching the street performers.

?His profile picture was no lie,? said Gail. ?He looked about 15 years younger than his stated age. He had boyish good looks and a smile that warmed his soft brown eyes, a backpack thrown over his shoulder, he was neatly dressed and from what I could discern, lean and very nicely built. I was toast.?

The two were attracted to each other right away and quickly learned that their birthdays were only two days apart.

In less than a week Gail and Mark went on their second date, which lasted the entire day. ?I picked Gail up at her house and we went to the Skirball Center, took in the exhibits, had lunch there, and then went to a screening of the movie ?Rock of Ages where we held hands,? said Mark. The date continued with fine dining at Luna Park restaurant. The two took down their dating profiles within the first month of dating. ?We?ve been together over three months and I?m increasingly more nuts about her,? Mark added.

Gail keeps asking Mark, “How is it, exactly, that you have managed to stay single for 16 years???” I guess it will be one of (my) life’s great mysteries and, also, my great fortune.?

Congratulations to Gail and Mark, our Cyber Love Story couple who proves that patience is a virtue and the best things in life are worth waiting for.

Mark’s dating column can be found at JDate.

Do you have an online dating success story to share?

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Online Dating Site ? MissTravel: Travel With Benefits?

Online Dating - Miss TravelLast week, online dating was in the news as Spreadsheet guy?s story went viral. He’s since apologized for the embarrassment it caused the women, and himself in the process.

This week, the official launch of MissTravel.com, whose tagline is ?Travel Dating for Generous and Attractive People? is spreading like wildfire. In my opinion, this site goes beyond the old-fashioned ?Mile High Club? membership. Adamant about not being an escort service, founder Brandon Wade tells ABC News, ?There?s 2.6 attractive women for every one generous man.?

Does this mean there?s so much of the world to see, with so very few men to share the experience with?

What happens when you arrive in Paris and your man gets abusive? Are you stuck at Charles de Gaulle Airport without a return ticket home? Could you insist on having your own room if it?s truly for plain companionship, with no benefits associated?

Here?s their one-minute video that describes the service. Already over 10,000 people have signed up.

Do you think this is an escort service disguised as a dating site or a terrific site to find a travel companion? Is it a marketing gimmick? Would you sign up?

Your comments are welcome.

 

Julie Spira is an online dating and cyber-relations expert. She’s the Editor-in-Chief at CyberDatingExpert.com and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For online dating advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, and sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Cyber Love Story of the Week – Dabney and Vic

Dabney and Vic - Cyber Love StoryAfter 15 years of marriage, Dabney was ready to start dating again. She created a profile on Match.com and went on just five lunch dates.

When she first spoke to Vic, the two had instant phone chemistry. Vic had his list of questions that he asked all prospective dates. Dabney passed the test with flying colors.

When the two finally met in person, they were both delighted that the phone chemistry matched their feelings in-real-life. Vic went to hold Dabney?s hand and she pulled back in surprise. Vic asked Dabney, ?Did you feel that?? Dabney tells us, ?It was electric.?

Dabney and Vic were fortunate to have felt a spiritual and soulful connection on their first date. Five years later, during a vacation in the Florida Keys, Vic proposed to Dabney. Dabney, of course said ?Yes!?

Congratulations to Dabney and Vic, who prove that you can have a second chance at love while looking for love online.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Submit Your Online Dating Stories

Julie Spira is an online dating, netiquette and cyber-relations expert. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and where you can sign up for the Weekly Flirt. Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

Free Valentine’s Weekend on Chemistry


Free Communication Weekend 150x125

Wondering how to find a date for Valentine’s? The good news is an overwhelming number of singles polled this year say they feel good about going on a first date on Valentine’s Day.

We know that both men and women are feeling a bit of pressure now and so do our friends at Chemistry.com.? They’ll make it easier for you to find a date this weekend with the Chemistry.com FREE Communication Weekend 2/10-2/12.

Sign up and enjoy the features on their online dating site. If you get lucky in love, you just might get featured in our Cyber Love Story of the Week.

Click here to get started, but don’t wait. This offer ends on Sunday night 2/12 at midnight..

If you need help with your online dating profile, let us know. We’ll create an irresistible dating profile guaranteed to attract more quality dates.

Chemistry is one of the recommended dating sites on CyberDatingExpert.com. We we may receive a commission if you click on this link.

Cyber Love Story of the Week – Jamie and Howie

Cyber Love Story - Jamie and Howie - Online Dating StoryWho says you can’t fall in love online during Valentine’s season? Meet Jamie and Howie, who met on JDate.

Jamie joined the Jewish singles online dating site upon a New Year as one of her dating resolutions. Shortly thereafter, she started chatting with Howie, who had never been married.? Howie and his dog Spot had been on-and-off JDate for 12 years.? His profile said, “Love me, love my pet.”

The two met in-real-life just two weeks before Valentine’s Day. Jamie said Howie put her through a rigorous test and she passed with flying colors.

Both having a passion for travel, they went on several cruises together. After a romantic trip to Hawaii, Howie proposed and the two became engaged. Together, they built their dream home and just celebrated their four-year anniversary. Jamie is the founder of LA Girl Secrets.

Congratulations to Jamie and Howie on finding love just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Submit Your Online Dating Stories

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and to share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on twitter @JulieSpira and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

Peril of the Week – The Shark in the Dating Pool

Peril of the Week - Online Dating Story - CyberDatingExpert.com

I received an email on Facebook from a former radio colleague of mine telling me that he was getting divorced at 60. He was petrified about dating after being married for 25 years. He bought my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating and joined a boomer online dating site.

Within a week, he submitted his first story for The Peril of the Week.

“I was just putting my toe in the dating water when I met a woman who had already gone off the deep end. ‘Rita’ had a profile that reflected that she was smart, sassy, and had movie star looks. She messaged me about getting together for a glass of wine, and I said to myself “self, why not?” First bad sign for someone like me looking for honesty and trust in a relationship – she arrived looking much older than her picture, which was a glamour shot taken 15 years ago. The years had not been that kind to Rita, with a big weight gain and much sadder eyes.

By her 3rd glass of wine, Rita was getting very loud and in full party mode. By her 5th, she was talking about how great a lover she was, in graphic detail. After her 6th glass, I was able to pry her away from the bar and out to her car. Rita proceeded to pounce, with aggressive kisses and that extra hand women always complain about men having that seems to go right for the privates. I decided I really didn’t want my privates to go public with this woman.

I guess I have matured a little bit since the hormone raging days where I would have hit on her in a second (and probably lasted that long, too). I followed Rita home to make sure she was able to drive OK, and took off, telling her I just wasn’t ready to get intimate with anyone again. I don’t mean to make light of anyone with a drinking problem, but I have decided that coffee dates are better first dates than wine dates. Coffee opens your eyes to what she’s like, while drinking clouds your feelings and potentially your judgment. Note to self: Self, if you are not ready to swim, don’t dive into the deep end of the dating pool.”

The Peril of the Week was contributed by Suddenly Single at 60. Photo credit: Fotolia.

Do you have a dating disaster story to share?

Submit Your Online Dating Stories

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on twitter @JulieSpira and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

New Online Dating Site Hitch.me Mixes Business With Pleasure

Do you believe that LinkedIn profiles are more accurate than most online dating profiles? If so, you’re not alone. On Friday the 13th, Hitch.me was officially launched using LinkedIn profiles as the basis for their site’s algorithms.

I had the opportunity to interview Hitch.me founder Navid Nadir, who is happily married with two children. ?Nadir has a degree in computer engineering from Queens University in Kingston, Canada and although he isn’t interested in finding love online, both he and his wife have single friends who were frustrated with the process.

Nadir believes that over 50% of online dating profiles are fabricated. Nadir said,???If you want to date someone, why lie?? That’s a question that many single daters struggle with as they hope there’s truth-in-advertising when viewing online dating profiles.

Nadir added, “It’s not just another niche site. It?s a niche site that is in demand. This is something we have been waiting for a long time. You can actually search for a profile based upon a skill-set, find someone based on specific industries, and search within groups that you are a member of on LinkedIn.”

The site is simple to use and there are no monthly fees.

Hitch.me members purchase credits in a pay-as-you-go format. Their 3 levels are:

  • Beginner: $10 for 500 credits
  • So Much for So Less: $25 for 2000 credits
  • Guaranteed Satisfaction: $50 for 4000 credits

So how does the credit system work?

For 20 credits, you get just a ?smile.? It?s their way of flirting.

For 50 credits, you get a ?pitch,? the opportunity to send a 200 word email to the object-of-your-affection.

For 100 credits, Private Presentation: 100 credits. Can add youtube videos and images, 500 words and can add 3 images and one youtube video.

Does the site mix business with pleasure? Only if you want it to. You can select from finding a casual date, soulmate, friend, or a business partner.

For a limited time period, they are offering 200 free credits as they build their membership base. Click here to get started on Hitch.me

Do you believe LinkedIn profiles are more accurate than online dating profiles? Your comments are always welcome.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com and Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for dating advice and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.?

Chemistry’s Top 10 Cities to Find a Sensitive Man

Are you ready to change your zip code to find love online?

Our friends at Chemistry.com have?announced their Top 10 list of cities where you’re more likely to find a sensitive man.

Most of the cities on the list are on the east coast, except for Nashville, Indianapolis, and West Hollywood.

Dr. Helen Fisher, Chemistry’s Chief Scientific Officer and a former featured guest on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show?said,?”Men do have a sensitive side.” Fisher added, ‘They want to please. They want to do the “right” thing.

The Top 10 list includes:

1. Popmano Beach, FL

2. Roanoke, VA

3. West Hollywood, CA

4. Nashville, TN

5. Buffalo, NY

6. Sarasota, FL

7. Greenville, SC

8. Wilmington, NC

9. Indianapolis, IN

10. Staten Island, NY

Ready to dive in and find a sensitive man? Click here to sign up and remember to share your online dating stories at CyberDatingExpert.com.

Chemistry.com Free Communication Weekend 1/13 – 1/15

Full article @Chemistry Blog

JDate is Responsible for More Jewish Marriages [infographic]

Just in time for the Jewish New Year, online dating site JDate has published an infographic showing a milestone of almost 1000 marriages since their inception in 2003.

The Jewish online dating site commissioned ResearchNow to survey married Jewish Internet users. The results showed that JDate is responsible for more Jewish marriages than all of the other major online dating sites combined.

Of the 948 who participated in the survey, 52% who married met on JDate.

It makes sense if religion is important to you to visit an online dating site with singles sharing the same belief. Singles appear to be dating up a storm. Five out of 9 Jews who were surveyed and were married since 2008, used an online dating site in their search for love.

Are you a member of a niche online dating site focusing on religion? Comments are welcome and you can sign up for JDate in our Dating Community.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

JDate Infographic - CyberDatingExpert.com

 

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