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College Kids and Grandparents Rush to Online Dating

Online Dating ProfileLooking for Love Online?

A new Pew Research Center study was released in time for Valentine’s with good news for daters both young and old. Your chances of finding a date or a soul mate have increased dramatically just in the past two years.

A new Pew Research Center study among 2,001 adults from June 10-July 12, 2015, has found that online dating has nearly tripled for singles 18-24 and more than doubled for singles 55-64.

Largest Users of Online and Mobile Dating are Young Americans 18-24

According to the survey, young Americans 18-24 now make up the largest percentage of users to online dating sites and mobile dating apps, with most of them using mobile dating apps that weren’t around when the survey was taken two years ago.

Pew Research Study

Attitudes Towards Online Dating Continue to be Favorable

The good news is that 80% of those who have used online dating sites agree that online dating is a good way to meet people. Say goodbye to the stigma and hello to finding love online. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we’ve been coaching singles from college-age to baby boomers for years now, so we are pleased to see the research back up our own work.

Some of the reasons for the growth in acceptance to online dating is that it allows singles to find a better match by meeting a lot of people, and it has become an efficient way of meeting someone new.

We know that Tinder has led the way for mobile dating app use for singles 18-24, who are constantly attached to their smartphones. We know they often swipe right, without paying attention to the photos on the screen. Yet, if you ask any single person now, they’ll be comfortable in letting you know that they are using a mobile dating app.

Pew Research 2016

The Whole Family is Dating Online Now, Well, Almost

What’s interesting to note is that their single or divorced parents are looking for love online now in record numbers as well. 

With many baby boomers becoming single by divorce or the death of a spouse, they are finding online dating a source of hope in getting back out there in the dating world, a world where mobile apps didn’t exist while they were raising their kids.

So if you’re at the dining room table and you’ll probably notice that both mom and her kids are swiping left and right to fill their date cards.

Full survey results at Pew Research Center

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice

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Valentine’s Survival Guide

It’s Valentine’s week and time once again to publish our annual Cyber Dating Expert Valentine’s Day Survival Guide.  Valentine’s Day falls on a long weekend, so get ready for 3-4 days of like or love and everything red.

At Cyber-Dating Expert HQ we’ve been hard at work putting together everything you need to have the perfect Valentine’s Day weekend.  From date ideas, to gifts that won’t break the bank, and even how to fill your date card in time for Valentine’s weekend.

Without further digital ado, here’s our 2016 Cyber-Dating Expert Survival Guide.

How To Pimp Your Profile for Valentine’s Day

Watch this video to hear Julie share her thoughts on the best online dating profile tips with Andre Senior from ABC 13 News Now.

Valentine’s Gifts for Every Relationship Stage

We know the pressure of Valentine’s is on. You can’t help but notice the red candy boxes everywhere you go. If you’re wondering what to get the new person you just started dating for Valentine’s Day, or perhaps want to get something for your long-time love, gift selection can be confusing, regardless of your relationship status. [Read more]

25 New Valentine’s Day Ideas

From going ice skating with your love to a scavenger hunt filled with fun and loving surprises on the way, or even visiting a brewery together, we’ve got a ton of creative date ideas to impress your date. [Read more]

What to Do on Valentine’s Day When You’re Single

Keep swiping! If you’re single, and on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Happn or other mobile dating apps, stay in and see who you can meet through your mobile phone. You never know who you could end up scheduling a date with for the day after Valentine’s Day. [Read more]

Why Valentine’s for Women is Like the Super Bowl for Men

Now that the Super Bowl is over, it’s time for the Super Bowl of Dating. Women wait for Valentine’s Day, with the hope that their special guy will either propose, offer to take his online dating profile down, or say “I love you” for the first time. Women even secretly hope that the guy they are dating might want to change his Facebook status from “Single” to “In a Relationship.” [Read more]

Could Your Valentine Be Just A Click Away? Life After 50 Magazine

Dating over 50? Read our featured article in Life After 50 magazine filled with tips on how to join a dating site, create an irresistible profile, and start filling your date card. [Read article]

10 Valentine’s Day Date Ideas That Won’t Break the Bank

From taking a dance lesson or cooking class, to going to a wine tasting or amusement park, here are 10 ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your significant other that are great for daters on a budget. [Read more]

How To Land a Date for Valentine’s Day

Start searching for love by logging on to dating sites every day leading up to Valentine’s Day and keep swiping right. You can also try attending singles events in your area in the hopes of finding a potential date. More in our article on how to land a date for Valentine’s weekend. [Read more]

Signs Your Relationship Is Ripe For A Valentine’s Day Breakup

We know many relationships don’t go the distance, but a Valentine’s breakup can hurt, big time. Here are some signs that your relationship is headed towards an end. If you’re not feeling the relationship, you’ll stop texting them as much as you usually do. If they feel similar, they’ll do the same. [Read more]

Related: Peril of the Week – The Valentine’s Breakup

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

The Perils of Cyber-DatingNewly released: Our completely revised edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Now available as an audio book in Audible and on Kindle. Listen to the magical epilogue with the fairy tale ending to help you believe in love.

Khloe Kardashian Joins Online Dating Site OkCupid

Khloe Kardashian OkCupidKhloe Kardashian has turned to the OkCupid mobile dating app to find love.

Celebrities dating online are as common now as your next door neighbor finding love on Match or eHarmony. Everyone from Katy Perry, Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, Britney Spears, James Franco, and Andy Cohen have joined Tinder and other dating apps.

Hollywood Life reports they saw the newly single’s blog  KhloeWithAK.com, where she posted the photo of her dating profile pics on the OkCupid mobile app, after ending her relationship with NBA boyfriend, Houston Rockets’ James Hardin.

On her blog, Khloe said, “Real talk: I’ve never done online dating before, but just for shi*ts and giggles, Malika (her BFF) and I decided to fill one out,” Khloe wrote on her blog.

She added, “It was actually really fun to do, LOL! Get to swiping right, boo-boo!”

How long she’ll stay active on the site is yet to be seen. We tried to find her profile and couldn’t access it by her user name, so it might be hidden, or she might have accessed premium features to determine who could search for her.

Still, it’s refreshing to see her genuine profile. If she didn’t have the famous last name of Kardashian, she could easily appear like the girl next door.

Related: Celebrities Swiping Right for Love

So what does Khloe’s OkCupid profile look like?

Khloe Kardashian OkCupid

Catchy Screen Name

khloewithak

Self Summary

Taking every day as it comes.

The First Thing People Notice About Me

My friend Malika says, “My eyes”

Favorite Books, Movies, Shows, Music, and Food

My favorite book is “The Coldest Winter.” My favorite movie is “Troop Beverly Hills.” My favorite TV show is “Sex and the City.” R&B music is my jam, and I can’t get enough Italian food.

I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About

My family.

On a Typical Friday Night I Am

Working or hanging out with my nieces and nephews: Penelope, Mason, Reign, Saint and North!

The Most Private Thing I’m Willing to Admit

I always, always have Hot Tamales in my nightstand! I’m actually going to eat some right now.

Related: Britney Spears Joins Other Celebrities on Tinder

Would you swipe right on her dating profile?

Our message to Khloe, we wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

The Perils of Cyber-DatingHave you heard the news? Our bestselling book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online has been completely revised and is available as an audio book on Audible, Amazon, and Kindle.

The audio book has new bonus dating advice, as well as a magical epilogue with a fairy tale ending to make you believe in love.

 

Julie Spira Releases New Epilogue After Reuniting with Long Lost Love

For Immediate Release

The Perils of Cyber-Dating BookFacebook plays Cupid for America’s Top Online Dating Expert, Julie Spira.

Seven years ago, author Julie Spira released her best-selling memoir and online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, which chronicled her romantic journey while looking for love online.

Spira, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

New developments in Spira’s love life have sparked fans’ interests and have ignited demands to know how the story ends.

Today, Spira is proud to announce the re-release of The Perils of Cyber-Dating, completely revised and updated, with new dating advice and a magical epilogue that will help readers believe in love.

“One always wonders about the one that got away,” said Spira. “After seven years together with the man I referred to as the “Love of my Life,” we went our separate ways and married others just days apart. I thought I’d never hear from him again.”

Julie initially went online in the early 1990s where she hoped to replace the former love of her life with an Internet mate. The author wrote about her breakup with her former long-time love in her book, along with the subsequent relationships that followed.

Little did she know, the love of her life also never stopped thinking about her. After his divorce, he read her book for the first time and read about their romance, including how they fell in love at first sight 24 years earlier. He reached out to her on Facebook after Valentine’s Day last year.  The two reunited for the first time after 16 years apart.

Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and chief science officer at match.com believes a rekindled romance is very powerful. “We are built to love and never forget the person you were deeply in love with,” says Fisher. “If the timing is right and they come back, the brain circuitry can be awakened almost instantly. That person you were deeply in love with before, fits within your love map.” Fisher, the author of Anatomy of Love (WW Norton: 2nd edition Feb 1, 2016) says the brain remembers the good times. The brain is built to try again.”

“The love of my life returned to me for Act Three and another chance at love. It will be a Happy Valentine’s Day indeed.”

Spira is speaking at Digital LA’s Mobile Dating Apps panel in Los Angeles on February 3, 2016.

The new edition of the book is available on Amazon, Audible, and iTunes. The author is available to speak on how to make rekindled romances work, how to find love online for Valentine’s Day, best mobile dating apps, online dating safety, and online dating profile dos and don’ts.

Listen to our Book Trailer

About Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been featured over 650 times in the media with her online dating and mobile dating advice. Social media influence site Klout ranks Spira as the most influential person in “dating” and “online dating.” Visit CyberDatingExpert.com.

Full Release at PRWeb

Meet Erin, our New Editorial Assistant

Erin - Cyber Dating ExpertWe’re growing rapidly at Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters.

Meet Erin Paradiso, our new Editorial Assistant who has joined our team.

Erin will be working on our Weekly Flirt newsletter and you’ll be seeing some fun posts about online dating and mobile dating from her at CyberDatingExpert.com.

Here are some fun facts about Erin:

  • Loves carbs, all of them
  • Loves cats, but she’s allergic
  • She’s single and is dating on Tinder
  • Doesn’t like hiking or going the gym
  • Loves music, especially Fall Out Boy

Erin has a bachelors degree in entertainment business from the Los Angeles Film School and she’s excited to be spreading the love with us.

You can reach Erin at erin@cyberdatingexpert.com with your story ideas.

Follow @ErinParadiso on Twitter and make sure to sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter

Valentine’s Dating: How to Land a Date for Valentine’s

Valentine's Day - CyberDatingExpert.com

Valentine’s Day. Love it, or hate it?

We’re about one month away from the most romantic holiday of the year.

Here’s our Valentine’s Survival Guide.

If you’re single, there’s no need to hide under the covers. If you’re dating someone, but he hasn’t asked you to be his Valentine just yet, here are some tips to enjoy the day, regardless of your relationship status. Remember, Valentine’s is on a weekend this year and it’s also during President’s Day weekend, so think big and be optimistic. It’s time to fill your date card.

1. Ramp up Your Online Search

Let’s face it, everyone seems to be online theses days, so if you’re not logging on EVERY day, checking your matches and responding quickly to his or her emails, someone else just might get their attention faster. It’s true what they say that the squeaky wheel gets the deal. If you can carve out time to go to the gym, you should be able to schedule time to log on daily. Make sure you’ve signed up for push notifications of when someone has emailed you or made you their favorite so you can respond quickly. Ditch the old waiting game rules. This is how to stand out in the digital dating world.

2. Keep Swiping Right

If you’re on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Happn or other mobile dating apps, make sure your notifications are turned on and swipe right several times a day to view your matches. When you get a mutual match, respond quickly and always use their first name when you are saying hello. Remember not to say “hey,” as horses hang out in hay. Got it?

Read: 6 Mobile Apps You Should be Using in 2016

3. Text an Ex

Did you know that 20% of singles do text an ex on or around Valentine’s Day? So if both of you are single, why not get together and go down memory lane. Make sure you’re on the same page and just enjoy the evening. You may not be rekindling, but the familiarity might just make it a fun evening rather than flying solo.

4. Attend Singles Events

The one thing about singles events is, everyone is in the same boat. They’re single and are hoping to connect with someone. Check out Match.com’s Stir events in your city, RSVP to a MeetUp for a subject you’re passionate about, and attend business networking events. The more you’re out there in the public, the more opportunities you have to flirt with a potential date. Remember not to be too coy. Be bold and smile. Dr. Pat Allen, author of “Getting to ‘I Do,'” suggests the five-second stare. It may feel like an eternity, but it may bring you closer to that cute guy across the room. P.S. Remember to wear red! It’s the color of love and romance and research has proven that guys respond more often to women wearing red. .

Related: Read Valentine’s Survival Guide

5. Don’t Go Overboard

From going to an amusement park to ride the Ferris Wheel to taking a cooking class or going ice skating, make Valentine’s Day a no-pressure experience if you’re in a new relationship and aren’t exclusive yet. There’s no need to break the bank.

Related: Read 10 Fun Valentine’s Date Ideas

Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?

Grab your BFF’s, dress in pink or red, and head to the movies or a concert together. Valentine’s Day isn’t always about love. It’s about spending quality time with someone you really like.

Are you a fan or foe of Valentine’s Day?

Photo credit: Fotolia

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

P.S. Our newly revised version of our bestselling book is coming out for Valentine’s Day as an audio book. You won’t want to miss hearing the Epilogue, guaranteed to warm your heart.

Julie Spira to Speak at iDate

idate 2016It’s an honor to be a featured speaker at the Internet Dating Conference, iDate-2016 to be held in Miami, Florida on January 25 – 27th.

iDate is the online dating and mobile dating industry conference with executives from online dating sites and matchmakers who will meet to discuss the latest industry trends.

Cyber-Dating Expert has been attending the iDate conference for the past eight years and is a proud sponsor of the Internet Dating Conference.

Click here to buy tickets

We all know that online dating is a HOT topic in the news.  My panel, Managing the Headlines: How to Get Press will be held on Wednesday, January 27th at 2pm at the Kovens Conference Center in Miami, USA in room 110.  My presentation will immediately follow the session, Match.com Going Public and Projected Forecasts for the Dating Industries, presented by Mark Brools of Courtland Brooks and Alex Harrington from Snap Interactive.

In my session, we’ll discuss the hottest news stories of the past year. I’ll talk about which headlines to respond to and which ones to avoid to show your business in the best light. From Tinder pro to Valentine’s Day, I’ll be sharing my secrets on how I became a top online dating expert and go-to person in the media, having been featured in over 650 news stories on the subjects of Internet dating and mobile dating.

I’ll also be presenting the award for Best Mobile Dating App at the iDate Awards on January 26th, so grab your tux and gown and head on down to Miami.

Join me at iDate in Miami. You can purchase your tickets here to save $75 on your registration.

Julie Spira Cyber Dating Expert on Managing The Headlines at iDate 2016 Dating Business Super Conference VIDEO.

Follow me on Twitter @JulieSpira, where I’ll be sending out live updates from iDate-2016.

Dating Expert Guide to Breaking Up

The Digital Breakup

It’s no secret that January has been known to be breakup month. It’s a New Year and a time for couples to decide whether to move forward or not before Valentine’s. As a dating expert, I’ve worked with couples who said, “Let’s get through the holidays and see how we feel.” Others feel that Valentine’s is around the corner, so they hang in there to see how it goes. Many couples couldn’t decide whether to call it quits in the love department. Many didn’t survive the holidays and it really hurt.

With the new year, singles and couples tend to evaluate the health of their relationships and if they want to sign up for another year, or longer. Some relationships which were in limbo, ended during what seemed to have been the worst time of the year. But lets, face it. Is there ever a good time to break up?

When you see your friends change their Facebook statuses to “In a Relationship” or “Engaged,” you’ll either suffer from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) or FOGO (Fear of Getting Out).

Now that I’ve filled you with acronyms that might hit a digital nerve, a New York Times article by Aimee Lee Ball lists a variety of breaking up mobile apps that will help you dump your not-so-significant other.

As painful a breaking up can be this time of year, know that it’s also time for new beginnings. This is peak season for online dating and many terrific new singles will be joining Internet dating sites in big numbers.

READ: THE BUSIEST DAY FOR ONLINE DATING IS SUNDAY, JANUARY 3rd

The Dating Expert Guide to Breaking Up With Grace

Before you push the send button or ignore his or her texts, read these tips on how to end the relationship without a digital twist.

1. Be sure it’s what you want to do. Once you start the ball rolling with “I’m not feeling it any more” conversations, it’s hard to take it back. I recommend making a list of what you like and don’t like about your current steady sweetheart and see which column is longer. Seeing your deal-breakers in black and white takes the emotions out of a premature breakup.

2. Talk it over with one friend. Find your closest confidant (just one) and discuss your feelings with him or her before you do the deed. Show your friend your list and ask them if they think you’re overreacting to his nail biting habit or her obsessiveness with texting during a date. Some things are deal-breakers. Others can be saved with a healthy conversation.

3. Ask permission to talk about your relationship. While you may be angsting that your relationship is on its way out, your significant other might things are going well. You know how to schedule a date. Now it’s time to schedule a conversation when both of you are present and prepared to talk. Blurting out that you’re not happy the day before his or her big presentation at work would be a huge mistake. Don’t let your emotions get ahead of you.

4. Ask your partner to make a list. Let your significant other know what’s on your list and start off by telling him or her what you like most about them and your relationship. Compliment them on the way they’re a great parent, or admire how loyal and devoted they are to their careers. Let them know the things that have upset you about the relationship and then STOP and LISTEN.

5. Don’t go “ghosting.” While it’s common and the easy way out to ghost or disappear by sending texts less frequently to eventually going MIA, it’s not the right way to end a relationship. If you were comfortable enough to sleep with him or her, you should find it in your heart to be comfortable enough to have the convo. Don’t pull a disappearing act.

6. If it’s over, it’s over. Lots of couples say they need a break, but let’s face it, a break is often just a breakup waiting to happen. Going from being someone’s steady squeeze to suddenly being one of three on their weekly date card won’t make both people happy. Insecurity will emerge and both of you will wonder what the other is doing when they’re not with you. While it’s true that giving your partner space is healthy in a relationship, instead of smothering him or her, if the space is permission to paint the town red and post it on social media in the arms of another, it’s going to go down badly.

7. Unplug from each others’ social media accounts. In my blog on The Huffington Post, “It’s Not Complicated: How to Handle a Breakup on Facebook,” I wrote about the new Facebook tools, which allows you to see less of your former flame, by preventing his or her status updates and posts to appear in your feed and helps you easily untag yourself from photos of the two of you together. I suggest you read it and make the decision mutually as to whether you will unfriend each other on social media. Staring at his Instagram feeds and monitoring her check-ins will make you sick, online and IRL.

If you’ve invested time in a relationship with someone, remember to treat them the way that you’d want to be treated. Have the conversation in person and not via text. I know it’s the easy way out, but some day you just might become friends with your ex, or even end up across the desk from them in a job interview or sales pitch. Always take the high road, even if you’re feeling low.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice and if you need some extra hand-holding, learn how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie’s a  frequent guest in the media on the topics of online dating and mobile dating apps and will help you find your dream date with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

Boyfriend is on Tinder. Should I Break Up

Boyfriend on TinderEvery week I seem to get asked a similar question from a woman whose boyfriend is still on Tinder wondering if they should break up.

Here’s Nina’s story.

Hi Julie,

I have been dating a guy for 3 months now and just this morning we had a conversation where I asked him if this is what he really wanted (committing to being in a relationship with me), and he said, “Yes, this is what I want. I love spending time with you, I love how you make me feel (…)”.

I created a fake tinder profile a couple of weeks ago and swiped right on him. To my dismay, I just checked it and he had matched with “me” (picture and name of a different person, hence the fake profile) 9 hours ago (this morning right before our conversation.

My question now is what to do. I don’t feel I can trust him now as he had before said he was not talking to or seeing any other women. I feel a little betrayed. Should I confront him about this and tell him how I found out, or let it slide, or break up? Honestly don’t know what to do.

Nina

Should She Break Up With Him?

Dear Nina,

I’m sorry you’re going through this relationship anxiety with your boyfriend. This is the top question I get from female readers. (See the other links in this article from other women). They find out their boyfriend is on Tinder and want to dump him or don’t know what to do. I appreciate your honesty on how the past month has developed with your boyfriend. Let’s talk about a few things. I’m here to help you, but this is going to be tough love my friend, so get ready.

  1. You’ve been in a relationship for three months.

Three months is still new for a relationship. It’s the honeymoon stage, where everything is fresh and exciting. It’s the perfect stage, as you haven’t moved into a routine. Many relationships breakup at the three-month point, as some people only like the beginning stages of a relationship and don’t want to get serious. From where he sat, he probably enjoyed dating you and hadn’t moved to a more serious stage yet. He wanted to look at options.

  1. You asked your boyfriend if he wanted to be in a committed relationship.

You were happy enough with him to want your relationship to be exclusive. You asked. He answered. He might have told you what you wanted to hear, but he didn’t come out and ask you first to be in a committed relationship, although he said he wasn’t seeing anyone else.

Chances are he wanted to see where the relationship was going to go and got caught up in the Tinder swiping game. It happens a lot. If you’re sleeping together, he also might not want to give that up. He’s a guy. It’s how men are wired. You also don’t know if this morning when he said he loved how he felt with you, that he had swiped for the last time and was ready to delete his Tinder account, right?

RELATED: HELP! I FOUND MY BOYFRIEND ON TINDER

  1. You created a fake Tinder profile after 2 months.

In all honesty, this is where the problem started. There’s a saying, “Seek and ye shall find.” Why did you create a fake Tinder profile to try to catch him? Probably because you weren’t sure he wanted to be exclusive with you.

Let’s talk about trust. It works both ways. You felt insecure about your relationship status early on and didn’t trust him. You wanted to catch him and behind HIS back, logged on as a fake person to see if he’d take the bait. It worked, he’s busted and now you’re unhappy. No guy wants to feel like his girlfriend is checking up on him, even if it’s innocent.

I’m not sure if you met on Tinder and if you took your profile down and he didn’t, but at two months, he probably wasn’t ready to be exclusive, or he would have said so. When a man wants a woman to be his, he does what it takes to make her is girlfriend. That includes taking down all dating profiles in good faith to see where the relationship will go.

The moment you think someone’s cheating or looking elsewhere is the moment you realize something isn’t right. Rather than seeing where your relationship would go over time, you tried to catch him, and you did.

  1. Tinder is a dating site with many users who aren’t single

Here’s a shocking fact. A GlobalWebIndex survey found that that 42 percent of Tinder’s members are already in relationships. Think about it. Almost half of the users are playing around on Tinder. Some are swiping only. Others are chatting only. Many are meeting and hooking up. Your boyfriend may be one of those 42%.

It would be one thing if someone in a relationship was on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram all of the time. They’re social networking sites. Many people are finding love on social media, but Tinder is a dating (and even known as a hookup) app. If you’re in a relationship and someone is active on a dating app, guess what? It’s wrong. I don’t care about the percentages, it’s wrong, period. Having an active profile on Tinder when you’re in a relationship tells the world that you’re single and looking. From your boyfriend’s perspective, he thought he was single and was keeping his options open. He also swiped on your fake profile before you had the conversation.

I understand that some guys and women too, like the validation they get when someone swipes right on their profiles. It’s a digital ego stroke. I also know that Tinder is like a game and people like to see who is out there and swipe right and never speak.

The problem Nina is something’s off in your relationship. You weren’t on the same page at the same time. If you trusted him, you wouldn’t have created a fake profile after two months. You know that a relationship is based on mutual trust. Without it, it cannot survive in the long haul.

RELATED: HELP! MY BOYFRIEND WON’T TAKE HIS TINDER PROFILE DOWN

  1. To Break Up, or Not to Break Up

I can’t tell you to break up with someone if you think he’s your soulmate. Something is missing in your relationship if he feels the need to communicate with women on a dating app. Something is also wrong in your relationship if you feel you need to check up on him. Something is wrong if he’s not happy with himself and needs the validation. The bottom line is, something is wrong.

He says he’s happy and loves spending time with you, which is probably true. But he’s also happy swiping right on Tinder.

I know if it were me, I wouldn’t put up with it. It’s a deal-breaker. I’d want to be in a relationship built on mutual trust. I can’t say if it’s a deal breaker for you, but as soon as you tell him you’ve busted him with a fake Tinder profile, or make up a white lie and say that someone found him on Tinder, I guarantee he will break up with you. You’re asking me if you should break up with him. I think you know the answer. The trust isn’t there.

So you can continue to be quiet and log onto your fake profile to see the exact moment he last logged on and make yourself sick in the process, or try to find someone who will think you’re amazing enough to ditch the dating apps to be in your arms. The choice is yours. I can only hope that you take your fake profile down and never create another one to try to snoop on a guy you really like.

I’m sorry you’re going through this now, but being on a dating site when you’re in a relationship is disrespectful. So is trying to catch him with a fake profile.

My best advice to you is as follows: The next time to have trust in a new relationship. Let it unfold naturally. Men don’t like being with an insecure needy person. If you felt the need to snoop, it was doomed.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

RELATED: DATING IN A TINDER WORLD

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Best and Worst Cities for Online Dating

Best cities for online dating

When you’re single and really want to meet someone, you’ll say that the city you live in is the worst city for dating.

While you might feel that way, this report and findings from WalletHub of the 150 most populated cities in the United States will show you exactly which cites are the best based on “Dating Economics” and “Romance & Fun.”

Whether it’s the cost of the movie ticket (California was the worst), or the price of going to a beauty salon or to a bar for drinks, find out what challenges you might have in the city you reside in.

Better yet, I always recommend casting a wider net and changing your zip code to another city. Why not move for love? Why not go on a date when you’re traveling in another city?

So here’s the news in a digital nutshell.

The best cities for online dating:

  • Gilbert, AZ
  • Irvine, TX
  • Plano, TX
  • Fremont, CA
  • Overland Park, KS

The worst cities for online dating:

  1. Detroit, MI
  2. Brownsville, TX
  3. Laredo, TX
  4. Memphis, TN
  5. Cleveland, OH

 

Best Online Dating Cities

The highest movie ticket costs and highest beauty salon costs were all in California. So yes, dating in California is expensive.

Thinking of moving to another city to find love? Check out how they rank here.

Highest percentage of single persons:

  1. Detroit, MI
  2. Washington, DC
  3. Cleveland, OH
  4. Rochester, NY
  5. Atlanta, GA

Lowest percentage of single persons:

  1. Fremont, CA
  2. Gilbert, AZ
  3. Plano, TX
  4. Overland Park, KS
  5. Chesapeake, VA

Are you interested in their other findings? Here’s the full list, so you can decide where to go searching for dates before opening your wallet.

Where does your city rank on this list?

Source: WalletHub

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