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eHarmony Survey Says Over Half of Couples are Very Happy

eHarmony Happiness

Just how happy are couples in 2018?

A new poll commissioned by eHarmony and led by Harris Interactive shows good news for millennial couples.

“The Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America” of 1000 couples reveals that 64 percent of Americans are “very happy” in their romantic relationships, with a partner or spouse with almost half being happy with their sex lives as well.

For an online dating site that has the sole goal of creating couples for long term relationships or marriage, the news is good that love and intimacy are thriving.

I spoke with Jeannie Assimos, Vice President, Content for eHarmony, who said the quality of people is very high on their site. “The intention is for our members to be there and spend time and thought into it,” said Assimos. ” Our singles are invested in finding a relationship.”

With Over 70% logins on their mobile app, you no longer have to answer 250 questions as a member, however Assimos says the matches will be better if you answer more questions. 

RELATED: 7 Quotes for Happiness Day

How did eHarmony describe perfectly happy?

Relationship status

“Tend to be on their first marriage, and they married young (‘for love’) while being very well
acquainted with their spouse/partner prior to marriage … seemingly they spent time getting to know each other first. They are likely to be exactly the same age and share many interests.”

● More likely than average to be married
● Their relationship length is significantly shorter than average
● Married at a younger than average age but knew their spouse for longer than average
before they got married
● Much more likely than average to be their first marriage
● Standard reasons for marrying (most likely ‘for love’)
● More likely than average to be in love with their spouse/partner and satisfied with their
relationship

Things they do together as a couple

“They participate in lots of activities with their spouse/partner, and have a shared interest in sports and keeping fit. Despite having kids, they make time for their relationship with regular date nights and they are not shy about displaying their happiness, being more likely to hold hands than other couples.”

RELATED: 5 Ways to Create a Great Date Night

● Team sports
● Gym/exercise classes
● Camping
● Game nights
● Particularly likely to have regular date nights and hold hands when they are out together

So keep those date nights scheduled on your calendar, even if you’re taking turns cooking a romantic meal for each other.

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STUDY: The 2018 List of Best and Worst States for Single Daters

Wallet Hub online Dating

Should singles change their zip codes while looking for love online, or even take it further by moving to a more desirable state in the country?

A new study from WalletHub actually ranks all 50 states to determine the best and worst places for single daters.

The list breaks it down further into four categories.

  • Overall Rank
  • Dating Opportunities
  • Dating Economics
  • Romance & Fun

Digging deeper, the study shows the best states for online dating are:

  1. Washington
  2. Colorado
  3. New Hampshire
  4. Maryland
  5. Alaska

The worst states for online dating are:

  1. Mississipi
  2. Arkansas
  3. New Mexico
  4. West Virginia
  5. Louisiana

If you’re attached to your mobile phone and find yourself swiping left and right on mobile dating apps, the study shows a different digital picture.

wallet hub mobile dating

The best states for mobile dating apps are:

  1. Utah
  2. Maryland
  3. Colorado
  4. Massachusetts
  5. New Jersey

The worst states for mobile dating opportunities are:

  1. West Virginia
  2. Mississipi
  3. Arkansas
  4. Alabama
  5. Kentucky

Overall, California ranks as number one on the list. Perhaps the sunshine, Rose Bowl, and Disneyland contributed to that score. Just behind California is Florida, with New York coming in at number three.

Arkansas ranked at the bottom of the list as the worst place for singles.

This list shows the top 10 ranked states in the country.

Is your state on this list?

Wallet Hub Best States Dating

This map below, highlights each state to see where they rank.

Click on your state to find out the overall rank, and think about casting a wider net while looking for love online.

Source: WalletHub

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

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Can Love Withstand Donald Trump? A Dating Expert’s Story

Can Love Withstand Trump

I have a confession.


I’ve been hiding a secret and can no longer remain silent.

As a dating coach in the business of love, I saw first-hand the strain on people’s relationships — including mine — when Donald Trump ran for and eventually became president.

During the campaign, my long-term boyfriend and I were on opposite ends of the political spectrum. He was on the right, and I was on the left. Initially, this didn’t alarm me, but over time, the division began to tear us apart, putting our relationship to the test.

I now fear, in this current political climate, that President Trump has destroyed romance as it once existed.

Once upon a time — two decades ago — we lived the fairy tale.

We fell in love at first sight, and after several joyful years together, we went separate ways. I wanted marriage, and he wasn’t ready.

Eventually, we wed others and lost touch.

Then in 2015, both divorced, we found our way back through Facebook Chat, proving a love so strong could never die.

We began sending each other digital versions of photographs neither of us had tossed away. His albums had been stored in an attic, while mine collected dust in a garage.

“We should meet up for a long drink and catch up,” his message said one morning.

I thought about it and both hesitantly and nervously, I agreed.

The moment our familiar eyes locked, we instantly realized the spark was still there.

I was the woman he wasn’t allowed to speak of during his marriage, he explained. He was the one I often regretted letting go.

When his curated mix of love songs arrived in the mail, two hearts resealed, and we resumed our romantic journey toward a second chance at love.

“We have the greatest story,” he proudly announced to my girlfriends when we reunited. I felt the same.

Blissfully, we started merging our lives with music as our backdrop.

He accompanied me to the Walt Disney Concert Hall to watch Gustavo Dudamel conduct the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Looking handsome, he wore an Italian sports jacket, and his sparkling hazel eyes matched mine identically.

I went to the Stagecoach Country Music Festival with him, wearing my Stetson cowboy hat as we walked through miles of dust and hay.

We posted photos online of us looking deliriously happy.

After a decade and a half apart, we were, admittedly, different people with dissimilar lifestyles.

I was more of an urban girl who lived in Los Angeles and frequented the liberal desert city of Palm Springs. He lived in a post-divorce rental home one hour north of me in Ventura County and thrived in the ultra-conservative mountains of Northern Idaho.

“It’s just geography,” I thought, and as a couple, we seemed to co-exist in each other’s favorite places with ease.

“I’m sorry I never proposed to you back then,” he said one evening.

My heart instantly started to race. Was my boyfriend about to get down on one knee with a ring?

After a moment of silence, I secretly hoped we still had time.

Although he had a history of commitment issues, our renewed love was growing stronger every day. That was until the heated election season rolled in when our perfect relationship started to fray.

“I can’t take another four years of the Clintons,” he murmured while pouring himself a martini.

“Don’t tell me you’d vote for Trump,” I yelled, then lost my appetite.

Once a registered Democrat, during our time apart, my boyfriend shifted his support to the Republican Party. He also hated the fact that Hillary Clinton was running for president.

Throughout the campaign, people were taking sides, and the effects began to permeate the bedroom. Couples were splitting up in “you’re fired” style — basically, instantly and without warning.

The great political divide was crushing relationships, including ours.

In a time of angry accusations of “fake news,” I started feeling like I was living in an all-too-real, fake relationship.

I was in deep conflict, believing we were the poster couple for eternal love. I didn’t want our story to end, so I buttoned my lips when he brought up his anti-liberal rants, and rolled my eyes when he praised “The Donald.”

RELATED: Love Vs. Trump – Is Politics Polarizing Relationships?

“Turn off the TV,” he insisted, as I watched the Democratic debates during our trip to the Florida Keys.

Real Time with Bill Maher was off-limits.

“Really? I asked. “I can’t watch one of my favorite talk shows?”

Instead, we settled on watching romantic comedies on demand, curled up together, as a form of truce.

When political coverage became a 24-hour reality show, I noticed his attitude and values contrasted sharply from mine. I believe in gun control and Obamacare, and he’s proud of his gun closet and supports the “big, beautiful wall.”

I thought we could just agree to disagree as my parents did, but it was clear our bipartisan relationship was in jeopardy.

For a woman with a big and public voice, I remained unusually quiet, with the hope that he’d calm down after the voting frenzy was over. Slowly, I started to pull away from him, and I felt him doing the same.

One month before Election Day, we officially became a long-distance couple. He moved to Las Vegas, and I stayed in Los Angeles. With 300 miles between us, and Trump looking over my shoulder, it was challenging to stay connected.

I visited him to see the Rolling Stones in concert. He came my way for Stevie Nicks.

Then Donald Trump surprised us both by winning the election.

Shortly after, with tensions still high, he escorted me to a Hollywood party where both of us arrived dressed in purple to represent unity during a combative time.

On Inauguration Day, my boyfriend couldn’t take his eyes off the television, and I couldn’t bear to watch. He was as excited with Trump’s swearing-in as he’d be if he scored an eagle on his favorite golf course.

Then I asked myself, “Could we survive Trump?”

Here I was, with a man who believed our country’s new leader was making America great again. Meanwhile, I checked Trump’s daily tweets, now the primary source of hard news, as my blood pressure rose.

It was clear my guy didn’t want a left-leaning girlfriend, and I couldn’t express my feelings freely.

Still, on Valentine’s Day, a few weeks later, my beloved curated the perfect 48-hour love fest, and the cloud of politics never made it to the bedroom.

He drove over four hours bringing me one dozen long-stemmed roses in a ruby-red vase, embellished with a crystal heart bracelet. We later dined at an ocean-view table at Shutters on the Beach hotel in Santa Monica, where two years earlier we had reunited.

Together, we posted photos of us on social media and still felt in love as we toasted, “to us.”

It was our last night together as a couple.

Three days later, we called it quits.

Since he’d moved out of state, I tried to convince myself distance caused the split, but it was differing politics and the associated party values that slowly killed us.

RELATED: Post-Inauguration Breakups: Differing Politics Are Destroying Love

Our president became his new hero, and he mirrored the commander-in-chief’s beliefs and behavior. He wanted a polyamorous relationship, and I wanted a devoted partner. It crushed us, but much to my surprise, I wasn’t devastated.

During the time that our country became so polarized, we had changed. My emotions went from sad to mad, but eventually, I started to feel empowered, and my voice re-emerged.

After our romance ended, I decided it was time to look for someone on my side. Luckily, I quickly met a political junkie who lives in town online on Match. He listed himself as liberal in his dating profile, which was enough for me to click the reply button.

Our first date was at a harbor-view restaurant in the Marina. A good sport, he drove over an hour in heavy traffic from downtown LA, looking distinguished in a business suit and tie. I felt immediately at ease.

“Did you vote for Trump?” he asked.

“No,” I quickly replied, as we both sighed with relief.

It was a deal breaker for us both, and as we talked about our nation’s challenges, we clicked.

I admired my brilliant date for helping Dreamers, along with his belief in stronger gun control laws. We talked about Obamacare, tax reform, net neutrality, and immigration issues plaguing sanctuary cities.

Call me a sapiosexual, but his intellect was an aphrodisiac, and our conversations lasted for hours. The floodgates opened, and in time, so did my heart. Who knew that shared leanings and Saturday Night Live monologues could top a mutual desire for dark chocolate?

Because we were in sync, we advanced to a second date, then to a third, and by now, we’ve lost count.

Talking about politics in Trump’s America is important to me.

I worry about our country, but I don’t regret reuniting with my former beau. While I realize our deep history and unconditional love had brought us back together, it’s a huge relief not to have that burning question of “what if” circling inside my head.

However, love is conditional, with politics now residing atop the dating totem pole. As disappointed as I am with our president, I have him to thank for this realization.

And I learned a valuable lesson when my love life got “trumped.” I’m now watching Bill Maher’s monologues in the arms of a man who appreciates my strong voice, and I am forever grateful to be heard.

RELATED: Dating in a Trump World – One Year Later

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s a bestselling author and the the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. As an early adopter of Internet dating, Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox

 

Love vs. Trump: Is Politics Polarizing Relationships?

Love Vs. Trump: Politics Polarizing Relationships

It’s been one-year since Donald Trump took office, and singles are still dealing with the big political elephant in the room, our commander-in-chief and his tweets.

During the election, and in the aftermath since Trump became president, talking about politics has become critical when dating someone new, and to those within their existing relationships.

I recently wrote an essay, Can Love Survive Trump, where I revealed my big confession on how I struggled in my relationship with my long-term love. He had strong and vocal opposing views from mine when it came to politics.

As a dating coach, I believe I provide good dating advice on how to navigate the singles scene, even with politically opposite views. I also really believe in having a good debate. While coaching others on how to talk about politics on a date, I found I didn’t take my advice and kept silent about my complicated relationship status. I now feel liberated, and continue to coach and write about the great political divide.

Politics has become so divisive in dating, that conversations that start at the breakfast table end up on opposite sides in the bedroom. They often no longer include, “Sweet dreams” and a hug.

When one person walks in the Women’s March wearing a pink hat, and the other is jumping for joy about the new tax reform, it’s clear that talking about differing political views need to happen on the first date, if not sooner.

Dating Sites Weigh In

In a Match Singles in America study, they showed that talking about politics on a first date will result in a 91% chance of putting the second one on the calendar.

OkCupid found that 50% of its users won’t date someone with opposing political views. The site also found that users mentioning political words in their profiles increased by more than 1000% from 2015 to 2017.

OkCupid Trump

The site, known for asking provocative questions, has 19 questions about politics. “Trump?” received the most answers, with 74% responding “hell no” and only 4% answering “hell yes.” The most answered question was “Should guns be allowed in schools?” The most polarizing question is, “Did Russia hack the last US election?”

Mobile dating app profiles now include political terms, or instructions to “swipe left if you vote for Trump,” or “swipe right if you think Trump’s making America great again.”

Tinder Politics Dating Deal Breakers

Tinder states that 71% of their users won’t date a Trump supporter. Their Modern Dating Myths, released in April of 2017 showed, “Opposing political views were getting more left swipes.” Nine out of 10 of my dating coaching clients said that having similar political views with their dates are important to them.

Coffee Meets Bagel tells me their poll of 1320 members showed that the majority, 70%, who are Democrats said politics was impacting their dating lives, as compared to 43% of Republican singles.

Plenty of Fish conducted several surveys on politics and dating in 2016 and 2016 and offered some promising news.

POF found while the current political climate is tense, it’s starting to lighten up. They found that less than 1% of singles used the terms “Trump” or “Republican” or “Democrat” in their profiles. They also said that 90% of people had not broken up with someone over political views or party affiliation since the election and recommended not talking about politics on a first date.

Experts Weigh in on Trump and Politics

I spoke with Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Science Officer at Match, who said, “If singles feel very strongly about their political views, they should add it to their profiles.”

CNN Political Contributor and KABC Radio co-host John Phillips agrees with Fisher. “If both people are passionate and care about politics a great deal, it could be a problem,” said Fisher. “But then the relationship is probably doomed anyway.”

Dr. Fisher’s research indicates that people gravitate towards people who share their values. “For couples who are polar opposite politically, they just have to agree to disagree and find a way to respect each other,” Fisher said.

“People are going to stay strong in their positions because we aren’t talking about how you butter your toast,” said Fisher. “Things with the Dreamers and the immigrants is real and taps into basic values.”

Deal breakers for singles used to include height, smoking, and religion. They’ve been replaced with politics as a top deal breaker, with singles feeling more comfortable dating someone with same political views.

Phillips, who identifies as Republican, tells me that politics is more critical than ever in today’s dating world. “It’s more important than it used to be because the news has essentially become one endless talk show about politics,” said Phillips.

He believes politically charged opposite couples can co-exist in Trump’s America. “If Dodger fans can date Giants fans without the relationship ending in a 911 call, Trump and Clinton supporters can co-exist without domestic violence,” Phillips said.

Are we heading to a point where we can agree to disagree over an appetizer and enjoy crème brûlée for dessert? I sure hope so.

“There used to be water cooler topics. Now there’s one water cooler topic: politics,” adds Phillips.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years with the Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

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7 Ways to Shine During Online Dating’s Peak Season

Peak Season

There was a lot of excitement the first week of January leading up to “Dating Sunday,” a day proclaimed by Match as the busiest day of the year for online dating.

Other sites and apps also saw the surge in activity and joined in on the Dating Sunday excitement, including Plenty of Fish, Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and more.

As a guest on KENS TV in San Antonio and KHOU in Houston, I spoke with reporter Jeremy Baker, on why the first Sunday of a new year is always so active.

WATCH TV SEGMENT ON DATING SUNDAY WITH TIPS TO SPEED UP YOUR SEARCH

Baker’s mother met and married his stepfather after meeting in an AOL chat room in the 1990s, and he shares the history of online dating from the early days to the present, where singles are swiping on mobile dating apps.

Now that Dating Sunday is over, what should you do next?

If you missed the spike on Sunday while watching the Golden Globes, there’s no need to fret. Peak season is in full force right now, leading up to Valentine’s Day, just five weeks away.

There’s plenty of time to find love with some of these tips.

To get you armed for in online dating’s Peak Season, here are 7 online and mobile dating tips to help you get lucky, now through Valentine’s Day.

RELATED: Dating Sunday – January 7th Was the Busiest Day for Online Dating

1. Post 5 -7 new photos to your profile and caption them if you can.

2. View and “Like” profiles and photos of 10 people a day during peak season.

3. Log on for 1/2 hour, twice daily to see who has viewed your profile and written to you.

4. Write back to those who are messaging you on dating apps and sites within the 1-4 hours, the sooner the better.

5. Don’t be shy. Make the first move and message someone whose profile looks interesting.

6. Rewrite your profile and include some of your goals for the year. Whether it’s running a marathon to writing your first novel. They’re conversation breakers that make you unique.

7. Turn on push notifications, so you’ll know instantly who’s interested in you.

If you need some extra hand-holding, find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

RELATED: Is Dating Multiple People a Good Idea?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox

Photo credit: Fotolia

Is Dating Multiple People is a Good Idea

Dating Multiple People

A few questions we get asked often at Cyber-Dating Expert, is “how many people should I be dating at a time?”

“Can I date more than one person, and should I tell the people I’m dating that I am?”

I know it’s exciting to see so many people interested in meeting you and it can become overwhelming at times.

If you’re wondering what the magic number of people you should be dating at once is, or when you should become exclusive, my interview with Global news shares how to date, without becoming a player.

Dating Multiple People

Highlights of the interview are featured in this video.

For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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FULL STORY at Global News

Let’s Talk About Food – Zoosk Survey Reveals What Singles Should Order on a Date

via GIPHY

Let’s talk about food. It’s Thanksgiving week, which means that Christmas will be here in a digital minute.

With all of the food consumption going on during the holidays and with singles dating up a storm in ‘cuffing season,’ our friends at Zoosk decided to survey 7000 singles to gauge their feelings about the most popular food to eat on a date.

If you’re planning on perusing a menu, or cooking up a storm for your date, here are some surprising facts about food and online dating, to help you decide what to order on date night, or write in your profile to get more messages.

Food Fact 1: Guacamole is the Most Popular in a Profile. 

Food - guacamole

While you might think mentioning chocolate would get the most responses, it actually ranked at number three. While analyzing over 3.7 million dating profiles and more than 364 million first messages, those who mentioned “guacamole” in their profile received 144% more messages. Who knew that mashed avocados would be so sexy? In between the guacamole and chocolate, potatoes ranked at number two, with 101% more messages.

Food Fact 2: Fried Chicken and Yams are the Worst To Mention in a Profile.

via GIPHY

If you’ve got a craving for fried chicken or yams, don’t order it on a date, list it in your profile, or cook it for your date. The Zoosk survey found mentioning yams resulted in a 70% decrease in inbound messages, with fried chicken ranking with a 15% decrease.

Food Fact 3: Foodies are Sexy.

via GIPHY

While saying you’re a “foodie” can sound as cliché as “taking a beach” walk or going from “jeans to black tie,” it’s true that the way to a man’s heart is often through his stomach. With that in mind, if you really love unique restaurants and keep up on the latest food trends, say so. The survey found profiles that include the word “foodie” receive 82% more incoming messages, while those who mention the word “cook” receive 26% more incoming messages.

Food Fact 4: Seafood is the Most Popular Food to Order on a Date.

via GIPHY

Have a dinner date? If you love seafood, you’re at the top of the list. The survey showed that seafood ranked the highest at 19% for online daters for their favorite date-night food, while steak came in as a close second at 18%. Does sushi count as seafood? Well, almost. Sushi ranked at number 5 at 8%.

Food Fact 5: Chocolate Covered Strawberries are Still the Sexiest.

via GIPHY

When I cook a romantic dinner, often I will pick up chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. Next to feeding each other crème brûlée, it’s the most romantic dessert I know of, and the Zoosk survey agreed with 34% ranking it as number one. Wine and cheese came in second place at 28%. There’s no need to get too fancy, as caviar ranked at the bottom of the list at 1%.

Click here for complete details on the Zoosk survey.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

FIND OUT how Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE WEEKLY FLIRT Newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Dating in a Political World

Dating in a Trump World

It was one year ago today, when like most others, I was glued to the television watching the results of the Clinton versus Trump election. In my hand, as I sat solo in my family room, was my iPhone. Like others, I was busy texting election results back-and-forth with my friends.

Most of us had expected Hillary Clinton to win the election and it would be a historical day for America to have our first female President.

As the night went on, many of us were stunned as the electoral college results came in. With Florida and Ohio in the Trump camp, shock waves hit across the country and throughout the world.

None of us were prepared for the outcome.

Some were thrilled with the news of Donald Trump becoming the next president, while others literally cried and started to worry about our country.

How this relates to dating is huge.

As a dating and relationship coach, the biggest dating divide I’ve ever experienced in the history has been this past election, along with the year that has passed since election day.

Mashable reports that a single man on Tinder has been using a new technique which he calls “Trumping” to reject dates he’s not interested in anymore.

Dan, the Trumping guy, sends a message to his matches saying he voted for Trump, instead of telling them he isn’t interested, or taking the coward’s way out of ghosting, which has plagued over 90% of millennials.

RELATED: Will Online Daters Support Trump? See What the POF Survey Says

Meanwhile, conservatives are still bashing Clinton and liberals don’t want to date Trump supporters. Being on opposite ends of the political spectrum is a passion that just isn’t sexy in Trump’s America.

Other data shows existing relationships became strained with the election results. I predicted in my Huffington Post column that many relationships would end between Inauguration Day and Valentine’s Day, and now know this to be a fact.

RELATED: Post Inauguration Breakups: Differing Politics Are Destroying Relationships

The truth is, it’s not about being liberal or conservative. It’s not even about who one voted for, as much as it’s about values. Values are the core of what makes a couple click and what helps them stick together during the inevitable bumps on the road.

Whether it’s family values or walls being built, singles have a lot to say these days, with politics topping the list of deal-breakers.

While I think things have calmed down a bit, with singles and couples agreeing to disagree, it’s been a challenging time for the love world.

RELATED: Does Politics Help or Hurt Your Relationship

Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and chief science officer at Match agrees and tell me, “Maybe couples should have a little system of a time out, where one person says one thing.”

An adult time-out. Maybe this will ease the tension of dating in a Trump world.

Here’s how it works.

“He gets two minutes to say that one thing and then the other person gets two minutes to say theirs,” explains Fisher. “Then they go into the bedroom and don’t talk about it, or they go and play a game, or do something to change the brain.”

Fisher believes something as simple as taking a bike ride will bump up the dopamine system and will reduce the pain in your relationship.

From my view, people are definitely more passionate about their political views these days. Watching the news or scrolling through tweets has given us a 24-hour reality show. Having a voice on social media is now a license to post public rants in one direction or another, resulting in the deterioration of many friendships.

How does this relate to love one year later?

For me, I’ve been glued to the news in a more magnified way and I know others feel the same. As a dating coach, I encourage political conversations to be brought to the front in a kind manner, without people attacking each other. If it’s true that love will find a way, remember why you fell in love in the first place.

It’s time to return to the time when a lively debate made an interesting topic for a date.

Let’s not bring war into the bedroom.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles for over 23 years on finding love online.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Photo credit: Fotolia

 

Selective in Dating? This App May Help You Find Love

Amor - Inner Circle

When I coach singles on dating and finding love, I always suggest casting a wide net, scheduling a second date even if there’s no instant chemistry, and expanding your social circle. It’s called social dating and with your mobile phone attached to your hip, you should leave no digital stone un-turned.

With this in mind, there are many dating sites and apps for the masses which can help with this quest.

Taking the opposite approach, some newer apps are considered exclusive, or as The Inner Circle CEO David Vermeulen calls his, “the selective dating app.”

The Inner Circle, launched in Europe in 2012, has now widened their reach by expanding into the U.S.

Now in New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles, the app will help you find the best-of-the best, or at least ones with the highest of education or the coolest job.

Inner Circle Julie Spira, David Vermeulen                                          Julie Spira and Inner Circle CEO, David Vermeulen

At their Los Angeles launch party, held at The Bungalow in Santa Monica, I sat down with Vermeulen to talk about the success of their app and how one can get off the wait-list and approved to start dating.

According to Vermeulen, The Inner Circle has 550,000 users spanning 12 countries. Their wait-list is about the same, with about 500,000 circles hoping to get accepted to the selective mobile dating app.

RELATED: Celebrities Swiping Right for Love

I asked Inner Circle’s CEO about their vetting. How can one get approved, instead of getting sent to the wait-list, with the hope of moving to a full-member?

According to Vermeulen, The Inner Circle has a team of four full-time people who view the 4000 new applications every day.

Here’s How to Register and Become a Member

1. Download The Inner Circle App
2. Create a Profile Using Linkedin or Facebook to Sign Up
3. Make Sure Your Education is Listed on Your Social Media Profiles
4. Have Other Friends and Connections as Members
5. Upgrade to Premium for Additional Features for More Access

Getting an invitation to Inner Circle isn’t that easy, and neither is getting approved.
When you register, their team looks at your education, profession, how many connections you have on social media (numbers count), and your photos.

When I asked why half of the potential members get put on the wait-list, Vermilion replied with, “The goal of inner circle is focused on the quality and the people who are a bit more serious. We also focus more on people the like-minded people that are ambitious, and inspiring.”

He added, “Not everybody that registers takes it that seriously.”

RELATED: Lawyers are the Most Desirable Jobs on Happn

Does education matter?

I asked if someone didn’t go to college, do they automatically get put on the waiting list?

It turns out while 94% of their members are highly educated, there are many in creative positions as well as members of the app.

The Quest for Being on an Exclusive App

Exclusivity is hot right now. Many singles want to join the bandwagon of exlusive apps. How does Inner Circle differentiate themselves from The League or Raya?

With a community themed app, they are hosting offline events all over the world, so get your Passport renewed and be ready to meet like-minded travelers.

On Tinder

With dating in the Tinder world become the norm and mainstream, the Inner Circle CEO said, “Tinder opened up the dating markets. Everybody’s on Tinder, so that’s a good thing. What we also see is that most people become what I call “tinder-tired” with endless swiping and swiping.”

RELATED: Tinder Love Expert on BuzzFeed Video

Inner Circle believes dating should be about the quality, not the quantity of members, and with such a huge wait-list, perhaps it’s time to update your LinkedIn profile to make sure it reflects your current fabulous job.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

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CLICK HERE to join The Inner Circle

How to Find a Date With a Sense of Humor

Everyone wants to date someone who’s funny and has a great sense of humor, right?

I’ve viewed countless online dating profiles that require that their match have a great sense of humor, or admit that they’re funny, but how can you tell without hearing their voice or meeting IRL?

You may of heard about the The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts from Gary Chapman’s bestselling book. It’s a terrific read and helps you to identify your love language to communicate better with your significant other, but did you know there different humor types that help you find a compatible date while looking for love online?

eHarmony Tested 6 Types of Humor

Our friends at eHarmony decided to put humor to the test. In a survey of over 1500 members, they got to view gifs and memes to rate which humor type they were the most comfortable with.

The humor categories, ranked in order are as follows:

  1. Physical Humor 
  2. Bodily Humor
  3. Self-Deprecating Humor
  4. Wordplay Humor
  5. Surreal Humor
  6. Dark Humor

In the study, it revealed that not all types of humor are created equally.

It came to no surprise that physical humor ranked at the top of the dating humor totem pole, closely followed by bodily humor.

I spoke with Jonathan Beber, eHarmony’s Senior Research Scientist, who pointed out that participants who found Wordplay humor the funniest, sent out more messages than those who weren’t fans of Wordplay.

“Sharing a similar style of humor with a romantic partner could lead to more chemistry and better relationship quality during the course of the length of the relationship,” said Beber.

Dark humor was favored the least by those who participated in the study, where online and in digital conversations, the dark humor probably came off as creepy or insulting.

Women found self-deprecating humor, where they made fun of themselves and their shortcomings, significantly funnier than the men who were surveyed.

How do you find someone with a great sense of humor?

As a dating coach, my best advice is to show your sense of humor and be willing to laugh at yourself.

  1. In your profile, make a joke and promise your potential date you can make them laugh.
  2. Hop on a phone call,  joke around, and keep the conversation light and fun.
  3. Meet quickly to see if you click. If your dark humor is a turn-off to someone, it’s better to find out sooner, rather than later.
  4. Remember that laughter is the best medicine. Say you’ll bring over chicken soup on demand if they’re under the weather.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online and on their mobile phones for over 20 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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