A woman is often attracted to a man based upon his career accomplishments. Men often experience increased self-esteem when they are happy with their career status. When the tables get turned, how do men feel about being lower on the totem pole than a woman’s job?
According to this male online dater, his romance went south fast when he realized he didn’t fit into the busy schedule of his latest date.
The two enjoyed communicating online with instant messages, phone calls, and met quickly within the first few days of contact. Their first date was enjoyable for both. His date revealed that she was a student in medical school along with running her family’s online gift shop. When he asked her if she had time for a romantic relationship with her obligations, she replied with, “I’m busy, but will make the time for a relationship.”
Happy about their first date, he appropriately called her the following day and left a message on her answering machine. The call was not returned. Determined to make contact with her again, he called again several tines in the days following their first and only date. He assumed she wasn’t interested. She did resurface via email and said she was out of town on business and would call later that day. Busy focusing on her career, the phone call never arrived. Finally she called him and said she was too busy to focus on romance and apologized.
The moral of the story is that workaholics may attempt to schedule time for a romantic relationship or date, but often their daily planner isn’t big enough to take the time to find love online.
Do you think she just wasn’t into him? Would you re-prioritize your schedule if you met someone special?
There’s no good time to break up with the woman or man in your life. However, there are some SACRED days that one should respect when it comes to matters of the heart. These days include Christmas, New Year’s, Birthdays, and of course, Valentine’s Day.
Many of us remember when Jessica Simpson got dumped by football star, Tony Romo the day before her birthday bash. Romo didn’t want to be the “Ken” in her “Ken and Barbie” themed party. Well, they’ve both moved on and we’ve moved onto the famous Facebook breakup chart, which spread like wildfire on the Internet last year. We’re now once reminded again that breakups are in a peak period leading up to Valentine’s Day.
And so the story goes in our featured Peril of the Week, where a handsome gentleman had been courting a woman that he met in an online dating site. He said he wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with her. He was smitten. He called her daily, told her she was beautiful, and made plans for future dates. Everything seemed to be going well. He said he wasn’t dating anyone else, so naturally she expected an invitation for Valentine’s Day.
Suddenly, one week before Valentine’s Day, he canceled their plans for the weekend without an excuse. He rescheduled for the following week–the week where you should already know if you are on the calendar for February 14th.
Then came the arrival of the e-mail breakup just a few days before Valentine’s Day. The one where he said, “Let’s be friends.”
The email message said, “As for us; I think we are in the friend zone as I am obviously not the man for you. I’ll spare you all the boilerplate of what a wonderful person you are (although it’s true) but the simple reality is that I am not the man who will be able to provide you with happiness, joy and contentment for the balance of your long and very meaningful life. What you are looking for I cannot provide and I’m sorry I’m unable to do so as I’m very attracted to you.”
Was it a polite pre-Valentine’s breakup? Sure. He could have just disappeared. At the end of the day, he didn’t want her to be his Valentine. Happiness, joy and contentment forever? After a few dates, the word forever should have not been in his vocabulary. Was it the pressure of the Valentine’s date? “It’s not you, it’s me” is old line. She surmised that he found another Valentine and he just wasn’t that into her after all.
If you have an online dating disaster story to share, we’d like to hear from you. Send your submissions to Cyber Dating Expert
It was a cold winter evening in the city, the kind that makes your nose run. The two met outside and walked into a very nice establishment, where they sat down and got all settled in.
After some small talk, suddenly her date reached for some napkins and began to blow his nose at the table. When he was done blowing his nose he took his used tissues and just threw them on the floor.
He then turned to his date, as if what he had just done was totally normal and asked, “Would you like anything to drink?”
All she could think was…CHECK PLEASE!!!! Needless to say she never saw him again.
Do you have an online dating story to share? Do you think she should have walked out of the restaurant?
Share your dating disaster stories for the Peril of the Week.
Photo credit: iStock
After breaking up with my latest boyfriend four years ago, I decided the best way to stop moping about him was to start dating new men. Internet dating provided the perfect opportunity to start finding someone new.
I had dated online before, and I always had plenty of winks and emails. The problem was I didn’t want to date many of these men. I longed for the whole package, someone near my age, smart, accomplished, handsome, athletic and fun.
When I met Dirk, he seemed perfect. He was cute, smart, funny, easy to talk to and very interested in me. The night before I met Dirk, I had a date with a handsome chiropractor, but I couldn?t keep my attention on him. (Maybe it was the dark glasses he wore throughout our dinner.)
I cut the evening short with the doctor and rose at the crack of dawn the next day to meet Dirk at West Yellowstone, which was a four-hour drive for me. We talked on our cell phones the whole way over. I couldn’t wait to meet him in person! But when I saw him, I was very surprised. He was short, barrel-chested, thick-necked and much less attractive than he appeared on his online photo. I tried to get over the shallow stuff as I did like him on the phone.
“Hi!” he said enthusiastically, and gave me a big hug with his stubby arms. I smiled and hugged him back. We stopped by the grocery store for a picnic lunch of sandwiches and wine and then drove into the park where we ate by a creek, lying on a picnic blanket. After our lunch, he reached over and kissed me.
It was the most horrible kiss I could have imagined. It was a kiss that didn’t end… kind of like a vacuum hose sucking my lips. I wanted to run as far away from Dirk as possible, but I knew that would hurt his feelings. Besides, if I took off, I’d have to run miles since Dirk had driven us into the park and my car was back at the grocery store. Instead, I suggested we see the sites around Yellowstone.
Dirk talked about our future. I could move in with him and help him with his bear hunting business. (Never mind that I despise sport hunting.) There was no need for me to work. He made enough money for both of us. I heard pop Christian music playing in the background as a big grin spread across his face as he fanaticized about our life together.
“I’m ready to go back,? I said.
“Already?” he said.
“Yeah. It’s going to be a long drive back to Billings, and I want to get started.”
A scowl creased his forehead, his mouth turned down around the corner and he didn?t say a word. I stayed on my side of the truck, avoiding any additional contact with him.
When we arrived back at West Yellowstone, I wanted to leap out of his truck and spring to my car. I kept my cool. I opened the door, grabbed my camera bag and smiled at Dirk.
“It was nice to meet you,” I said.
“I get the feeling that I?m never going to see you again,” he said.
“Well, one never knows what the future has in store,” I answered.
I gave him a quick hug and power walked to my vehicle. I got into the car, started it and peeled out, waving as I left. I was free at last.
Lesson learned: It’s better to mope at home about an old boyfriend than be trapped in a pickup with a new crazy bear man.
The Peril of the Week was contributed by Nancy Brook, author of the upcoming book, Cycling, Wine, and Men: A Midlife Tour de France.
From the Cyber-Dating Expert: It?s not a good idea to go anywhere with a man in his car or truck on a first date. It’s a recipe for a dating disaster.
Let us know if you have a story to contribute for our Peril of the Week.
While on a “Meet & Greet” i.e. dating ‘interview’ with a man she met online, a woman was asked the following question, “How open-minded are you?”
She responded by telling him that he should feel comfortable telling her anything. However, she wasn’t prepared at all for his response. He then shared with her that he was wearing a diaper.
The woman asked if it was for medical reasons, but he said, “No.”
As they were taking a walk at the beach and he was the one who was driving, she really couldn’t get out of the date at the time. He was a good looking man and a top executive at his company. Although he was genuinely a nice guy, she simply couldn’t get over this particular quirk of his, so the relationship actually ended before it even started. It was another dating disaster.
Do you believe we should be on a “need to know basis?” Did she really need to know this? Comments are always welcome.
Let us know if you have a story to contribute for our Peril of the Week.
She was prompt and enthusiastic about her online date. He, unfortunately was running late and didn’t call the restaurant. After waiting for 30-minutes, he finally arrived with no apology for his tardiness.
Naturally a first date can be awkward, so they talked about the subject of dating in general, while he was simultaneously was staring around the room to check out other women. He told his date that he found it difficult to date in Los Angeles, and added that he hadn’t met anyone he was remotely interested in. Of course, that included her.
When the conversation moved to discussions of the nearby neighborhoods, he looked down upon the area that she resided in. He said it wasn’t his element. He thought it was too artsy. She was an artist. He already knew that. To make light of the conversation she asked him, “Don’t you like artsy people?” in which he replied, “No.” She added, “You’re probably not going to like me then,” in which he replied with, “No, I’m not. We’re not a match.”
Although he had ordered two main courses for their dinner, she asked him if he’d prefer that they cut the dinner short and end the date early. He agreed to stay, but kept flirting with the waitress while staring at the other women throughout the course of their date. At the end of the meal, the check came. He told his date he’d like to split the bill 50/50, but he’d pay for the tip.
In the course of her dating life, she found him to be rude. He didn’t like art, he didn’t like her, and he didn’t want to treat her to dinner, even though he had asked her out.
Do you think he should have picked up the check? Should she have left after he was paying more attention to the waitress?
Do you have a dating disaster story to share?
We all know that men are visual and either they like what they see or they don’t. One can only hope that they’ll take the time to enjoy the conversation with you and get past the superficiality.
However, in the case of the Peril of the Week, the conversation led to a dating disaster.
The gentleman, who although was in good shape, showed natural signs of aging with a receding hairline. He started the conversation off with how difficult it was for him to meet quality women, as the ones he was attracted to were in their late 30s and early 40s and wanted to have children. He wasn’t interested in starting an additional family. That all made sense. However, he then told his date about how although he was 55, he had the body of a 40-year old, and the stamina of a 35-year old. This was his opinion only, but certainly not suitable first-date conversation.
He complained that women he met online couldn’t keep up with him while hiking and that hiking was important to him. He was completely turned off to a woman who would be short-of-breath on a hike or whose bodies weren’t a perfect 10. She suggested that he get a hiking buddy. He then complained that he hasn’t met a woman yet that he was physically attracted to. Considering he was sitting across the table from a woman he was on a date with, this didn’t thrill her at all. Finally, he talked about how much money he might have to pay his wife and that his divorce wasn’t final. He fit into the category of “Separated, Divorce Pending.”
As she was a lady, she didn’t respond with the fact that she preferred to date men with a full head of hair, and 35 was certainly stretching the truth about himself. She didn’t need to go on a hike to realize it just wasn’t a match. She politely exited and wished him the best of luck with his search.
Do you have an online dating story to share? For consideration in the Peril of the Week, please send us your stories.