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How to Spot a FAKE Dating Profile

Julie Spira Fox Los Angeles

Recently, I was a guest on FOX 11, Los Angeles, in a special feature about people grabbing photos from the Internet and creating a dating profiles on mobile apps and online dating sites.

While this happens, it’s really in the minority of profiles. Still, if you see a hunky model’s photo on a message to you, here’s how to tell if he or she is real.

After watching the video, scroll down to see a sample email that was sent (in bulk) on an online dating site to many users. If you find one like this, don’t reply. Report it as suspicious to the dating site, because they take dating safety seriously, and so do we!

RELATED: Here’s How to Tell Your Date You’re Not Interested Without Ghosting

Photo Swapping on Dating Profiles

In my interview with Susan Hirasuna, I explained the following:

“Julie Spira literally wrote the book on cyber-dating.”
               
“She says, the number one complaint is that people show up for the first date and they don’t look like their profile photos.  

“In the case of Emanuel, she theorizes he may be socially awkward or just needs an ego boost by matching with women on the dating apps.”

“Having the opportunity to chat with someone to boost your ego, if you’re looking like someone they might want to go out with. It’s a game and it’s really a sad game, because you’re really tugging at digital heart strings,” Spira told me.”

“She said, those with the photo swaps likely have no intention in meeting their dating app matches.”

RELATED: 10 Dating Safety Tips

The Suspicious Email

On a popular online dating site, this email has been floating around.

Note the following red flags:

  1. There’s it’s not personalized. “Hi there” doesn’t list your screen name or name.
  2. The writer claims to be in the military, which is a common sign.
  3. The writer claims he is financially stable, something that will attract a woman.
  4. He wants to communicate OFF the dating site and offers an email account and asks for yours.

Hi there,

My name is John and I think your profile looks amazing as It feels great to meet someone who has a positive outlook at life and still looking to find the right one. I am a loving, kind and successful man who is still looking to find the right match.  I’m a senior personnel working with the United States Military and would be retired in a couple months. I am secure, own my homes and financially stable. I have lived a great life with the exception of having that special someone to make memories with as life is full of beautiful memories. I believe life’s adventures are better when shared with someone special and would really love to get past the introduction part and get to know each other personally. I would prefer to communicate via email as I don’t come on here often. You can leave me an email on johnyoung23555@gmail.com  or leave yours as we seem to be on here at different times.  It would be refreshing to get to know each other and see how much we share in common and where it could possibly lead. Would look forward to read from you.

Warmly.
John

While John may indeed be a real person, he won’t brag about his money, be unavailable whenever you are logged on, and won’t immediately ask to communicate off the site.

If you receive an email like this, you can ignore it or report it, but be careful about falling in love from your computer screen with someone who has never appeared to have read your profile.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating services. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and was the recipient of the 2017 Best Dating Coach of the Year Award.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Happy International Happiness Day

1456934358635While we strive for happiness every day of the year, on March 20th we celebrate both International Happiness Day and it’s also the first day of spring!

It’s on a Monday this year, so find some time to add joy and happiness to your life, with a little help with these quotes and gifs to last you all week long.

 

Happiness Day

1. “The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” – Audrey Hepburn

Ghandi Happiness Day

2. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Lily Pulitzer - happiness

3. “Being happy never goes out of style.” – Lily Pulitzer

ben franklin - happiness

4. “The U.S. Constitution doesn’t guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself.” – Benjamin Franklin

Eleanor Roosevelt Happiness

5. “Happiness is not a goal; it is a byproduct.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Happiness - Goldie Hawn

6. “The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are.” – Goldie Hawn

Happiness - leonardo di caprio

7. “If you can do what you do best and be happy, you’re further along in life than most people.” – Leonardo DiCaprio

 To get involved, head over to the official International Day of Happiness website and take the pledge to help create a happier world.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Instagram Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Datingtwitter - Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, newly released with a magical epilogue and a fairy tale ending.

SIGN UP for the Free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

Bumble and Spotify: A Musical Match That Will Work

Bumble SpotifyIt appears Bumble has been adding new features to their popular mobile dating app.

First they added gifs from gifphy to up users flirt game, which we adore, but aren’t sure how many people are using them.

Then it was the BFF, where you can find a friend (non-romantic) to hang out with. I actually saw a billboard on freeway on the way to Coachella, so they’re serious about making it a social networking app.

Then they announced that men also had 24 hours to reply to a message from the women to potentially prevent ghosting.

Now on their blog Bumble has announced they will be partnering with Spotify to bring music preference integration to user profiles. This is music to my digital ears and is a marriage I’m quite happy about.

We actually recommended Tastebuds as a potential dating app earlier this year for music lovers.

Here’s how Bumble’s music integration works:

Bumble will allow users to connect their Spotify accounts so that potential matches can view their most played artists and see what music tastes they have in common.

Bumble CEO and founder, Whitney Wolfe, told TechCrunch, “Music says a lot about who we are as people and connecting culturally can serve a foundation for creating meaningful relationships,” so clearly, it was only a matter of time before Bumble and Spotify teamed up for this new feature.

Over the next few weeks, users will be able to connect their Spotify accounts to their profiles. If you’re interested in an artist on someone’s profile, simply click the artist to open Spotify and begin opening your ears (and your heart) to your potential online love’s music taste.

Bumble SpotifyThis update will not only provide users with more information about each other before they decide to swipe right or left, but it will also create a conversation starter. “I see Adele is one of your top played artists. What’s your favorite album?” is a great way to delve into your digital crush’s preferences and show interest in what they like to listen to.

If you’re worried about guilty pleasure artists or songs you listen to that you wouldn’t want a potential digital crush to see, you have no need to worry. The Verge reported that artists streamed during private listening sessions won’t be counted when calculating who your most listened to artists are.

This new Spotify feature will also help put music lovers at ease. If you’ve ever been nervous about handing a new love the AUX cord in the car, now you’ll know their music interests ahead of time and won’t have to spend time worrying if they can be trusted to DJ in the car.

Will you be adding Spotify to your Bumble account?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of online dating and as a celebrity dating coach, has been helping singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles coaching programs.  Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online .

For dating advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

Interested in improving your odds on Bumble or Tinder? Check out SwipingRight to help you find your dream date.

A Catfish Tale – Reeling Them In

CatfishThere’s been a lot of talk about ‘Catfishing’ and we’ve been interviewed a lot about how frequently it can happen, what catfishing means, and how to spot a ‘Catfish.’

In this interview and deep dive into ‘Catfishing,’ I spoke with Jasmine Kianfard about why this trend is happening, along with MTV’s co-host of ‘Catfish,’ Max Joseph and my friend and cyber-security expert Alan Silberberg.

Watch the full interview here.

Excerpt

Jasmine: Julie Spira Cyber-Dating Expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating explains how the Internet now presents a sort of free for all.

Julie: “People feel like the Internet has become the “Wild, Wild, West and you can be anything you want t0 be. A woman can pose as a man, a man can pose as a woman.”

Jasmine: Social media is helping to expand this wild, wild west.

Julie: Social media is creating an environment where people have this false sense of being in a relationship when  they’re not.

Related: What’s the Buzz About Catfishing?

The most important thing I say to people is, “Don’t be a digital pen pal.” You’ve got to get offline to see if there’s offline chemistry. Otherwise you’re just flirting with someone and you’re getting a little high that you’re getting from that text message and the customized chirp from the love your life, but the love of your life may just be somebody sitting from behind a computer somewhere.

“For years the number one search term…every year at the end of the year Google puts out a list…is what is love?” says Julie Spira, Cyber-dating expert and author of “The Perils of Cyber-Dating.”

“If that’s the number one search term we know that the desire to be in love is so strong and powerful and if someone can come in and be that knight in white armor and that perfect princess and that dream girl, you get so caught up with being in love with love rather than meeting the person IRL (in real life),” says Spira.

Alan Silberberg talks about digital hygiene and says it’s almost like brushing your teeth and you’ll have less of a risk in having a problem.

Related: From Catfishing to to Online Dating Tips

Related: Is Your Date a Catfish?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades and is the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert.

For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Julie Spira Talks to FOX News About Finding Love Again

Julie Spira on FOX 11On FOX 11 LA’s show, 2230, Julie Spira talks about how her book,”The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online” helped bring her long lost love back, after 16 years apart.

Julie explained how writing this book helped heal her heart and those of millions of others.

After over a decade and a half apart, Julie’s long lost love purchased her book, read about their romantic love story, and connected with her on Facebook for Act 3 of their love story.

Watch part of the interview here.

Julie re-released her bestseller “The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online” in 2016 with a new epilogue, complete with a magical fairy tale ending to help singles believe in love again, after the man who was the love of her life read the book and relived the memories he had not forgotten.

Pick up your copy on Amazon Kindle and Audible.

Watch the Full Interview Here

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and on Facebook for online dating advice.

Randi Zuckerberg Sings Online Dating Parody on SiriusXM

Cyber Love SongIn honor of Valentine’s Day, SiriusXM radio host of Dot Complicated, Randi Zuckerberg decided to add some musical fun and humor to our online dating segment.

Joined with Broadway star Aaron Finley, the two sang their hearts out to the tune of “Summer Nights” from Grease.

As a radio show guest, I was humming in the background from Los Angeles with a smile on my face and shared 7 tech gifts for your Valentine.

Yes, with online dating, there are so many apps and sites. Sometimes you need to laugh about the digital dating process. From Christian Mingle to Farmers Only; Tinder to Uber Pool, this song’s got you covered.

As you swipe right, listen to this adorable “Dot Complicated” original song about Internet dating written by Randi Zuckerberg and Eric Kuhn. Since there are so many dating apps, sometimes you need to have a sense of humor about finding love online.

In the show, we talked about online dating profiles, mobile dating apps, confidence in dating, and which profile photos will capture his or her attention.

You can listen to this Valentine’s radio segment in its entirety on SiriusXM on:

Saturday, February 13th at  9pm ET/6pm PT on Stars channel 109

Sunday, February 14th 10am ET/7am PT on Business Radio channel 111

(Song courtesy of SiriusXM and available to listen to on SoundHound)

Full radio show recap on Dot Complicated

Follow Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice

Sign up for the the Free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, just re-released and completely revised for Valentine’s Day with new bonus dating advice and a magical epilogue with a fairy tale ending.

Julie Spira Releases New Epilogue After Reuniting with Long Lost Love

For Immediate Release

The Perils of Cyber-Dating BookFacebook plays Cupid for America’s Top Online Dating Expert, Julie Spira.

Seven years ago, author Julie Spira released her best-selling memoir and online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, which chronicled her romantic journey while looking for love online.

Spira, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

New developments in Spira’s love life have sparked fans’ interests and have ignited demands to know how the story ends.

Today, Spira is proud to announce the re-release of The Perils of Cyber-Dating, completely revised and updated, with new dating advice and a magical epilogue that will help readers believe in love.

“One always wonders about the one that got away,” said Spira. “After seven years together with the man I referred to as the “Love of my Life,” we went our separate ways and married others just days apart. I thought I’d never hear from him again.”

Julie initially went online in the early 1990s where she hoped to replace the former love of her life with an Internet mate. The author wrote about her breakup with her former long-time love in her book, along with the subsequent relationships that followed.

Little did she know, the love of her life also never stopped thinking about her. After his divorce, he read her book for the first time and read about their romance, including how they fell in love at first sight 24 years earlier. He reached out to her on Facebook after Valentine’s Day last year.  The two reunited for the first time after 16 years apart.

Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and chief science officer at match.com believes a rekindled romance is very powerful. “We are built to love and never forget the person you were deeply in love with,” says Fisher. “If the timing is right and they come back, the brain circuitry can be awakened almost instantly. That person you were deeply in love with before, fits within your love map.” Fisher, the author of Anatomy of Love (WW Norton: 2nd edition Feb 1, 2016) says the brain remembers the good times. The brain is built to try again.”

“The love of my life returned to me for Act Three and another chance at love. It will be a Happy Valentine’s Day indeed.”

Spira is speaking at Digital LA’s Mobile Dating Apps panel in Los Angeles on February 3, 2016.

The new edition of the book is available on Amazon, Audible, and iTunes. The author is available to speak on how to make rekindled romances work, how to find love online for Valentine’s Day, best mobile dating apps, online dating safety, and online dating profile dos and don’ts.

Listen to our Book Trailer

About Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been featured over 650 times in the media with her online dating and mobile dating advice. Social media influence site Klout ranks Spira as the most influential person in “dating” and “online dating.” Visit CyberDatingExpert.com.

Full Release at PRWeb

Just Released! The Perils of Cyber-Dating Audio Book

Perils of Cyber-Dating Audio BookIt’s the New Year and that means singles are signing up in record numbers to online dating sites and mobile dating apps with the hope to snag a date by Valentine’s.

At Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, we’re excited to announce our new audio book for The Perils of Cyber-Dating was just released, in time for Valentine’s Day.

Seven years after our bestseller came out, we went into the studio and spent four months in post-production with The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love OnlineIt’s available on Amazon, Audible, and iTunes.

You’ll follow my journey as I attempt to replace the “Love of My Life” with an Internet mate.

The book is complete with online dating advice, fairy tale stories, a few heartbreaks, a lot of laughter, and a surprise NEW Epilogue to warm your heart and help you believe in love and happily ever after.

Here’s our book trailer with some highlights. P.S. Listen all the way to the end.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Listen to the full Book Trailer with more excerpts

Available on Amazon | Audible | iTunes

Meet Julie Spira at the Santa Monica Public Library

SMPL

You’re invited to a fun event in Los Angeles to be held at the Santa Monica Public Library on July 19, 2015.

Online Dating Expert Julie Spira will be signing copies of her book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and author Mark Miller will be signing copies of his book, 500 Dates: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Online Dating Wars.

The event will start at 2pm and will include a lively “He Said, She Said” debate on which gender has it tougher in the dating world; men or women. We’ll be answering your juicy questions on digital dating, who pays for dates, texting, and more.

We’ll be joined by media expert Michael Levine and Ukulele chanteuse Janet Klein to entertain you. It will be a fun and hilarious event. We look forward to seeing you there.

RSVP on Facebook

Santa Monica Public Library

12 Ways to Flirt on St. Patrick’s Day

St Patrick's HeartTo get into the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day, you don’t need to be Irish. If you practice these expert dating and flirting skills, you’ll likely have a date on your calendar before the day is over, or will at least enjoy the time together with the object of your affection.

1. Send a text message the the person you’ve had a crush on to say “Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Even if they aren’t Irish, chances are they’ll reply to you.

2. Log onto an online dating site or mobile dating app and change your profile photo to wearing something green. Do the same on Facebook and change the first line of your profile to say, “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” or “Kiss me if you’re Irish.” Start swiping right in the morning to find a date by the afternoon.

3. If you have a date on the calendar, pick up a green carnation for him or her. Although receiving carnations might appear tacky on Valentine’s Day, a month later it’s fine. It’s worth a chuckle or two and shows your date that you took the time to think of them.

4. Grab some friends and go to your local watering hole. You don’t need to drink green beer, or anything green for that matter to get into the spirit. While standing in line, comment on someone’s outfit who has caught your attention. Guys should wear a green tie. Ladies, compliment him on it, even if it’s the tackiest thing you’ve seen all month. It’s the kind of day where approaching others isn’t just accepted, it’s expected.

5. Pick up a a flashing green button that says, “Kiss me if you’re Irish.” Chances are you’ll get at least a smile, if not a peck on the cheek.

6. Speaking of smiling, a smile is contagious and everyone wants to be around someone who appears to be happy. Practice the 5-second stare while smiling at someone you would like to meet. It’s the cue for them to come over and wish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Who knows where the conversation will lead?

7. Start snapping photos on your SmartPhone and post them to Facebook and your Instagram account. Compliment the guy with the tacky green tee shirt and take his photo. It will help get the conversation started. Chances are he’ll want to see his digital photo and may even ask you to take another one. You’ll be engaging in no time, or possibly even more.

8. Put a green bandana on your dog’s collar and go to the local dog park. There’s a reason it’s called puppy love and it’s a great conversation starter.

9. Go to a St. Patrick’s Day parade in your local city. Everyone loves a parade and it will give you an excuse to start a conversation with those you end up bundled up with.

10. If the festivities are too much for you and you’d prefer avoiding crowds, go to a sushi bar or your favorite Japanese restaurant and sip on some hot green tea and order green-tea ice cream for dessert.

11. Set up a coffee date and order the green tea Frappuccino at Starbucks or meet at an ice cream shop and grab a mint-chocolate ice cream cone.

12. If you have a sweet tooth, bake some chocolate cupcakes and decorate them with green frosting. Bring a few for your date to nibble on. If you’re not the best in the kitchen, stop by your local bakery or sprinkles cupcakes store and select some luscious items all wrapped up and ready to go.

Keep in mind St. Patrick’s Day is the perfect time to practice the art of flirting. Go ahead and wear that flashing green button to draw attention to yourself. If you are not one to visit a local pub, go to a public place and wear green and start smiling. You have permission to do it all.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and host of #DateChat on Thursdays at 8p/ET on Twitter. For online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, on  Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

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