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A Catfish Tale – Reeling Them In

CatfishThere’s been a lot of talk about ‘Catfishing’ and we’ve been interviewed a lot about how frequently it can happen, what catfishing means, and how to spot a ‘Catfish.’

In this interview and deep dive into ‘Catfishing,’ I spoke with Jasmine Kianfard about why this trend is happening, along with MTV’s co-host of ‘Catfish,’ Max Joseph and my friend and cyber-security expert Alan Silberberg.

Watch the full interview here.

Excerpt

Jasmine: Julie Spira Cyber-Dating Expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating explains how the Internet now presents a sort of free for all.

Julie: “People feel like the Internet has become the “Wild, Wild, West and you can be anything you want t0 be. A woman can pose as a man, a man can pose as a woman.”

Jasmine: Social media is helping to expand this wild, wild west.

Julie: Social media is creating an environment where people have this false sense of being in a relationship when  they’re not.

Related: What’s the Buzz About Catfishing?

The most important thing I say to people is, “Don’t be a digital pen pal.” You’ve got to get offline to see if there’s offline chemistry. Otherwise you’re just flirting with someone and you’re getting a little high that you’re getting from that text message and the customized chirp from the love your life, but the love of your life may just be somebody sitting from behind a computer somewhere.

“For years the number one search term…every year at the end of the year Google puts out a list…is what is love?” says Julie Spira, Cyber-dating expert and author of “The Perils of Cyber-Dating.”

“If that’s the number one search term we know that the desire to be in love is so strong and powerful and if someone can come in and be that knight in white armor and that perfect princess and that dream girl, you get so caught up with being in love with love rather than meeting the person IRL (in real life),” says Spira.

Alan Silberberg talks about digital hygiene and says it’s almost like brushing your teeth and you’ll have less of a risk in having a problem.

Related: From Catfishing to to Online Dating Tips

Related: Is Your Date a Catfish?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades and is the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert.

For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Julie Spira Talks to FOX News About Finding Love Again

Julie Spira on FOX 11On FOX 11 LA’s show, 2230, Julie Spira talks about how her book,”The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online” helped bring her long lost love back, after 16 years apart.

Julie explained how writing this book helped heal her heart and those of millions of others.

After over a decade and a half apart, Julie’s long lost love purchased her book, read about their romantic love story, and connected with her on Facebook for Act 3 of their love story.

Watch part of the interview here.

Julie re-released her bestseller “The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online” in 2016 with a new epilogue, complete with a magical fairy tale ending to help singles believe in love again, after the man who was the love of her life read the book and relived the memories he had not forgotten.

Pick up your copy on Amazon Kindle and Audible.

Watch the Full Interview Here

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and on Facebook for online dating advice.

Randi Zuckerberg Sings Online Dating Parody on SiriusXM

Cyber Love SongIn honor of Valentine’s Day, SiriusXM radio host of Dot Complicated, Randi Zuckerberg decided to add some musical fun and humor to our online dating segment.

Joined with Broadway star Aaron Finley, the two sang their hearts out to the tune of “Summer Nights” from Grease.

As a radio show guest, I was humming in the background from Los Angeles with a smile on my face and shared 7 tech gifts for your Valentine.

Yes, with online dating, there are so many apps and sites. Sometimes you need to laugh about the digital dating process. From Christian Mingle to Farmers Only; Tinder to Uber Pool, this song’s got you covered.

As you swipe right, listen to this adorable “Dot Complicated” original song about Internet dating written by Randi Zuckerberg and Eric Kuhn. Since there are so many dating apps, sometimes you need to have a sense of humor about finding love online.

In the show, we talked about online dating profiles, mobile dating apps, confidence in dating, and which profile photos will capture his or her attention.

You can listen to this Valentine’s radio segment in its entirety on SiriusXM on:

Saturday, February 13th at  9pm ET/6pm PT on Stars channel 109

Sunday, February 14th 10am ET/7am PT on Business Radio channel 111

(Song courtesy of SiriusXM and available to listen to on SoundHound)

Full radio show recap on Dot Complicated

Follow Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice

Sign up for the the Free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, just re-released and completely revised for Valentine’s Day with new bonus dating advice and a magical epilogue with a fairy tale ending.

Julie Spira Releases New Epilogue After Reuniting with Long Lost Love

For Immediate Release

The Perils of Cyber-Dating BookFacebook plays Cupid for America’s Top Online Dating Expert, Julie Spira.

Seven years ago, author Julie Spira released her best-selling memoir and online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, which chronicled her romantic journey while looking for love online.

Spira, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

New developments in Spira’s love life have sparked fans’ interests and have ignited demands to know how the story ends.

Today, Spira is proud to announce the re-release of The Perils of Cyber-Dating, completely revised and updated, with new dating advice and a magical epilogue that will help readers believe in love.

“One always wonders about the one that got away,” said Spira. “After seven years together with the man I referred to as the “Love of my Life,” we went our separate ways and married others just days apart. I thought I’d never hear from him again.”

Julie initially went online in the early 1990s where she hoped to replace the former love of her life with an Internet mate. The author wrote about her breakup with her former long-time love in her book, along with the subsequent relationships that followed.

Little did she know, the love of her life also never stopped thinking about her. After his divorce, he read her book for the first time and read about their romance, including how they fell in love at first sight 24 years earlier. He reached out to her on Facebook after Valentine’s Day last year.  The two reunited for the first time after 16 years apart.

Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and chief science officer at match.com believes a rekindled romance is very powerful. “We are built to love and never forget the person you were deeply in love with,” says Fisher. “If the timing is right and they come back, the brain circuitry can be awakened almost instantly. That person you were deeply in love with before, fits within your love map.” Fisher, the author of Anatomy of Love (WW Norton: 2nd edition Feb 1, 2016) says the brain remembers the good times. The brain is built to try again.”

“The love of my life returned to me for Act Three and another chance at love. It will be a Happy Valentine’s Day indeed.”

Spira is speaking at Digital LA’s Mobile Dating Apps panel in Los Angeles on February 3, 2016.

The new edition of the book is available on Amazon, Audible, and iTunes. The author is available to speak on how to make rekindled romances work, how to find love online for Valentine’s Day, best mobile dating apps, online dating safety, and online dating profile dos and don’ts.

Listen to our Book Trailer

About Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been featured over 650 times in the media with her online dating and mobile dating advice. Social media influence site Klout ranks Spira as the most influential person in “dating” and “online dating.” Visit CyberDatingExpert.com.

Full Release at PRWeb

Just Released! The Perils of Cyber-Dating Audio Book

Perils of Cyber-Dating Audio BookIt’s the New Year and that means singles are signing up in record numbers to online dating sites and mobile dating apps with the hope to snag a date by Valentine’s.

At Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, we’re excited to announce our new audio book for The Perils of Cyber-Dating was just released, in time for Valentine’s Day.

Seven years after our bestseller came out, we went into the studio and spent four months in post-production with The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love OnlineIt’s available on Amazon, Audible, and iTunes.

You’ll follow my journey as I attempt to replace the “Love of My Life” with an Internet mate.

The book is complete with online dating advice, fairy tale stories, a few heartbreaks, a lot of laughter, and a surprise NEW Epilogue to warm your heart and help you believe in love and happily ever after.

Here’s our book trailer with some highlights. P.S. Listen all the way to the end.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Listen to the full Book Trailer with more excerpts

Available on Amazon | Audible | iTunes

Meet Julie Spira at the Santa Monica Public Library

SMPL

You’re invited to a fun event in Los Angeles to be held at the Santa Monica Public Library on July 19, 2015.

Online Dating Expert Julie Spira will be signing copies of her book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and author Mark Miller will be signing copies of his book, 500 Dates: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Online Dating Wars.

The event will start at 2pm and will include a lively “He Said, She Said” debate on which gender has it tougher in the dating world; men or women. We’ll be answering your juicy questions on digital dating, who pays for dates, texting, and more.

We’ll be joined by media expert Michael Levine and Ukulele chanteuse Janet Klein to entertain you. It will be a fun and hilarious event. We look forward to seeing you there.

RSVP on Facebook

Santa Monica Public Library

12 Ways to Flirt on St. Patrick’s Day

St Patrick's HeartTo get into the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day, you don’t need to be Irish. If you practice these expert dating and flirting skills, you’ll likely have a date on your calendar before the day is over, or will at least enjoy the time together with the object of your affection.

1. Send a text message the the person you’ve had a crush on to say “Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Even if they aren’t Irish, chances are they’ll reply to you.

2. Log onto an online dating site or mobile dating app and change your profile photo to wearing something green. Do the same on Facebook and change the first line of your profile to say, “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” or “Kiss me if you’re Irish.” Start swiping right in the morning to find a date by the afternoon.

3. If you have a date on the calendar, pick up a green carnation for him or her. Although receiving carnations might appear tacky on Valentine’s Day, a month later it’s fine. It’s worth a chuckle or two and shows your date that you took the time to think of them.

4. Grab some friends and go to your local watering hole. You don’t need to drink green beer, or anything green for that matter to get into the spirit. While standing in line, comment on someone’s outfit who has caught your attention. Guys should wear a green tie. Ladies, compliment him on it, even if it’s the tackiest thing you’ve seen all month. It’s the kind of day where approaching others isn’t just accepted, it’s expected.

5. Pick up a a flashing green button that says, “Kiss me if you’re Irish.” Chances are you’ll get at least a smile, if not a peck on the cheek.

6. Speaking of smiling, a smile is contagious and everyone wants to be around someone who appears to be happy. Practice the 5-second stare while smiling at someone you would like to meet. It’s the cue for them to come over and wish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Who knows where the conversation will lead?

7. Start snapping photos on your SmartPhone and post them to Facebook and your Instagram account. Compliment the guy with the tacky green tee shirt and take his photo. It will help get the conversation started. Chances are he’ll want to see his digital photo and may even ask you to take another one. You’ll be engaging in no time, or possibly even more.

8. Put a green bandana on your dog’s collar and go to the local dog park. There’s a reason it’s called puppy love and it’s a great conversation starter.

9. Go to a St. Patrick’s Day parade in your local city. Everyone loves a parade and it will give you an excuse to start a conversation with those you end up bundled up with.

10. If the festivities are too much for you and you’d prefer avoiding crowds, go to a sushi bar or your favorite Japanese restaurant and sip on some hot green tea and order green-tea ice cream for dessert.

11. Set up a coffee date and order the green tea Frappuccino at Starbucks or meet at an ice cream shop and grab a mint-chocolate ice cream cone.

12. If you have a sweet tooth, bake some chocolate cupcakes and decorate them with green frosting. Bring a few for your date to nibble on. If you’re not the best in the kitchen, stop by your local bakery or sprinkles cupcakes store and select some luscious items all wrapped up and ready to go.

Keep in mind St. Patrick’s Day is the perfect time to practice the art of flirting. Go ahead and wear that flashing green button to draw attention to yourself. If you are not one to visit a local pub, go to a public place and wear green and start smiling. You have permission to do it all.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and host of #DateChat on Thursdays at 8p/ET on Twitter. For online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, on  Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

Would You Text an Ex?

smoochthumbnailBeing single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site? Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?

Do you find this a bit shocking? According to Smooch, Valentine’s is a time for singles to feel even more single.

Smooch.com Marketing Manager, Lucy Clarke, said of the findings;

“Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate dating, whether you?re single or in a relationship. But with Valentine?s Day campaigns aimed at couples everywhere you turn at this time of year, it’s hardly surprising that the day makes singletons feel even more single.”

Their findings even included that 16% of singles actually lied about receiving a Valentine and 63% wish they did have a date on Valentine’s Day.

So let’s get to the subject of texting. It’s rare on any holiday to NOT hear from an ex. Whether it’s Thanksgiving, New Year’s, Christmas, or Valentine’s, some singles can’t help but reach for the phone to connect with an ex. It’s a non-threatening way of sending a little digital love.

How should you say “Happy Valentine’s Day” to an ex via text? Are you concerned that sending a text doesn’t mean you’re looking to rekindle a spark or end up in bed? Not necessarily. Often singles have fond memories of spending Valentine’s with someone from their past. Perhaps that romantic trip you took 5 years ago is still on his or her minds.

Although Smooch discourages singles from texting an ex, I disagree. Valentine’s can be a warm and fuzzy day or a day that can be filled with disappointments from the unrealistic expectations. I’m all for texting an ex, as long as it’s not to rekindle the spark within a few hours. Keep it friendly. Say, “Happy Valentine’s Day….Thinking of you and hope you’re doing great.”

The best times to send a text to an ex is in the morning. Keep it simple and friendly. Don’t ask your ex if he or she has a Valentine or is in a relationship. You broke up for a reason. If you do receive a text from an ex, don’t read more into it than just a simple friendly exchange. If you’re in a relationship, hold back from texting an ex. If your current sweetheart happens to see your text exchange on your phone on the most romantic day of the year, you might end up getting the cold shoulder or be sleeping alone that night.

Would you text an ex on Valentine’s Day? Your comments are welcome.

Smooch.com Valentine's Infographic

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and celebrity dating coach. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Julie creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt.

 

Cyber Love Links – The Week’s Best Links for Love

Cyber Love LinksIt’s time to share our favorite links to love, when you’re in the mood for love.

The last week in January was filled with tweets and articles on love in anticipation for the Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day.

Here are some of our top picks this week.

We were busy watching and tweeting from the Katie Show on the segment on ‘Catfishing.’? Her tips in How to Protect Yourself From Online Dating Scams taught us about a site, SpyDialer.com. Yes, you can type in your date’s cell phone number and it will anonymously play back his or her outgoing message. Smart or creepy? We’d like your opinion.

On Dr. Phil, he interviewed the man behind the Manti Te’o scam, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo. Tuiasosopo admitted being secretly in love with the Notre Dame football player. USA Today covered the story as it unfolded.

On a lighter side, our friends at Zoosk released their 3rd Annual Football Survey in time for the Super Bowl. Want to know which coaching brother ranked highest in the romance department by Zooskers?

We loved the article on GalTime, 7 Signs He’s the Right Guy to Be Your Valentine’s Date. If you’re on the fence, it’a a must-read. On Mashable, we got a chuckle out of Ask Siri to Buy Your Next Movie Tickets. It’s a great idea for date night.

POF just announced their 6 Finalists for their $100,000 wedding contest. You can vote for your favorite couple now through February 7th.

In the gratitude department, where do we begin?

Our article 5 Valentine?s Date Ideas to Enjoy Together is on the home page of eHarmony Advice. We also shared our tips on 5 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine’s Day on DatingAdvice.com. On Huffington Post, my article The Perils and Joys of Online Dating, gives a healthy balance to help you find love online safely.

Speaking of safety, it’s a priority here at Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, so I was thrilled to be invited to be the online dating expert on the Dr. Drew Show on HLN/CNN. Here’s a peek at part of the segment. Share it with your loved ones and trust your intuition. Thanks for Kim Calvert at Singular City for featuring this as their video pick of the week.

A huge thank you to DatingAdvice.com for putting me at the top of the list in their Top 10 Online Dating Experts, released this week. What an honor and joy to share the list with friends and other love experts who try to make a difference in the digital world.

Finally, thanks to the Boston Globe for quoting me in their article, Stories of love, deception have long been entwined.

We’re busy as digital bees gearing up for Valentine’s Day with a few surprise and exciting announcements to come.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

~Julie and the Cyber-Dating Expert Team

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Are you an online dating success story? Submit your Cyber Love Story to get featured on our site.

Katie Couric’s Play That Online Dating Game?

i7oxcz70In the continuing coverage of Manti Te’o and other daters who’ve been duped by online dating romance hoaxes, Katie Couric featured an entire episode of online dating safety with tips on what you need to know, while looking for love online.

On the Katie Show, we learned that online dating sites get more than 500 million clicks per month. Katie added that and 81% of people lie on their profiles.

To add a little entertainment to the serious topic of Internet dating safety, Katie polled her studio audience with three relevant dating deal-breaker questions that most female online daters could relate to.

Dating Deal-Breaker 1

Katie: He’s talk dark and handsome. In real life he’s short and stout. Is that a deal breaker or not?

Audience: 69% said Yes. 31% said No.

Dating Deal-Breaker 2

Katie: His profile says his picture was from last week. Reality: It was from 1972. Is that a deal breaker or not?

Audience: 71% said Yes. 29% said No.

Dating Deal-Breaker 3

Katie: His profile says, ‘Filthy Rich.” Reality, he’s Dead Broke.

Audience: 58% said Yes. 32% said No.

For more online dating safety tips from the Katie show, visit KatieCouric.com.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more online dating advice,? follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter and join the conversation at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

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