It’s Valentine’s Week at at ABC in Norfolk VA, they’ve declared it #loveweek.
It was an honor and joy to be interviewed by ABC’s 13 News Now on how to have the best online dating profile.
In our video below, I share the best profile dating tips with reporter Andre Senior including:
- The catchy screen name
- Profile word count
Plus I shared a personal story from my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter filled with dating advice and delivered to your inbox.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles on how to find love online for over 20 years. Julie’s a frequent guest in the media with her online dating and mobile dating advice. She ranks as the most influential person in dating and online dating on social media influence site, Klout.
Listen to our audio book trailer for the newly revised bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, now available on Audible, Kindle, and Amazon.
Is gift giving for Valentine’s always complicated? We know the pressure of Valentine’s is on. You can’t help but notice the red candy boxes everywhere you go.
If you’re wondering what to get the new person you just started dating for Valentine’s Day, or perhaps want to get something for your long-time love, gift selection can be confusing, regardless of your relationship status.
Here’s our Valentine’s gifts cheat sheet for all relationship statuses.
Newly dating – If you’ve only had a few dates and aren’t exclusive yet, bringing her 1 dozen red tulips will brighten her Valentine’s Day. You won’t be splurging for expensive roses or going overboard, but will still have the impact of bringing her flowers. Start her day off by sending her a fun Valentine’s e-card. I’m a big fan of Jib-Jab, where you can customize the card with a photo of yourself or send a video card. Bringing her lingerie sends a message that you’re only looking for sex (who isn’t?), but at this point she should be selecting her her own lingerie. A gift card for a mani/pedi will always be appreciated.
Going Steady – Honeymoon Phase (1-3 months) – If you’ve been dating for a month or two, she’ll be expecting to be your Valentine’s date if geography doesn’t get in the way. At this point, bring her a gift certificate for a massage at her favorite spa, offer to cook her a meal and have in-room-dining and bring flowers. Other fun items include sending her a box of chocolate covered strawberries, or bringing a bottle of her favorite wine or champagne. This way you can feed each other when it’s time for dessert.
Getting Serious – Imperfect Phase (4-6 months) – By now you’ve become an item. You might have even changed your Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship” and have a drawer at her place. When you’re headed towards the half-year mark, she’ll want to receive roses from you. There are plenty of great sites online for you to order flowers from, or you can go to your local grocery store to pick up a dozen. When a woman doesn’t get flowers on Valentine’s Day, she starts to wonder if you’re still swooning over her. If you’ve taken a trip away together, bring her a personalized gift such as a silver framed photo of the two of you to memorialize your vacation together.
Totally in Love – Over 6 months – Once you’re headed towards the one-year mark, it’s time to up the ante in the love department. She’s going to want something very personal. If jewelry is in your budget, getting her a sterling silver heart necklace, trinket, or bracelet from Tiffany & Company, may end up on your list. If it’s too pricey, you can order a less expensive one on Amazon to show her that you care. For those of you ready to step it up, but aren’t ready to pop the Q, give her a lovely commitment ring. It will show you have all 10 toes in, without getting engaged or setting a wedding date.
It’s Complicated – The ex and almost ex – If your relationship is winding down or you’ve recently broken up, should you acknowledge someone who you didn’t go the distance with? Studies have shown that 20% of singles actually text an ex on Valentine’s Day. Whatever you do, don’t send mixed messages and send flowers to someone, when you’re in the arms of another. Trust me, it will sting. You can send them a birthday present, congratulate them on their new job, and call them on holidays to say hello. That is acceptable for every holiday, but Valentine’s Day. If you’ve moved on, sending chocolate covered strawberries shouldn’t be on your gift list. The best gift you can give, is the gift of time, so you both can move on.
What will you be giving as a Valentine’s gift this year?
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.
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It’s politics season and if you’re getting ready to watch the debate with your date, or follow it on Twitter, listen and tweet closely as these stats might help you with your dating and love life.
In this year’s Singles In America study published by Match, it was proven that talking about politics increases your chances of a second date by 91%.
That may be true, if you’re on the same political page, but for some, differing politics can add an explosion to your relationship.
Let’s take a look at how America’s singles feel about politics.
Hilary vs. Trump
Hilary supporters are also more likely to do the following, as compared to Trump supporters.
- Wait for “the one” (49%)
- Want children (65%)
- Discuss politics (70%)
- Discuss marriage (266%)
What Side are Single Voters On?
Did you know there are over 107 million singles in the United States? Singles make up more than 1/3 of the U.S. adult population and they’re passionate about their politics.
Here’s the breakdown of party identification:
- 19% Republican
- 40% Democrat
- 15% Independent
- 2% Libertarians
- 24% have no registered political affiliations
Morals and Values
The #SinglesInAmerica study found that very few singles are willing to vote for a politician who has committed a crime (12%), had an affair (26%), or been caught in a lie (7%). On the other hand, singles are more willing to vote for a candidate who is single (75%), divorced (64%), or female (78%), and candidates with a successful business background (74%).
Rubio vs. Biden
Singles also weighed in on their romantic feelings about Republican candidate Marco Rubio and our current Vice President, Democrat Joe Biden.
Those Passionate About Politics, Bring Their Passion to the Bedroom
Just how adventurous are you? While we believe in leaving the boardroom out of the bedroom, this study shows there’s a direct relationship between politics and passion.
At the end of the day, watch a debate or two, and talk about it with your potential date. You’ll appear like you know what’s happening in the world and will score rating points on his or her date card.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
JUST RELEASED: Our 2nd edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating is now available on Kindle and as an audio book, narrated by the author.
Believe it or not, being snuggled up with your new date is uber romantic in a blizzard.
Before you cancel your date, here are 6 tips to help you fall in love, or “like” with snow.
1. Go on a Skype or FaceTime Date
Still have electricity or a full battery on your computer? Get dressed up with what you’d wear on a date, remember to put on your lipstick ladies, and both of you grab a glass of wine or bubbly for the occasion. Log on and have a virtual date rather than canceling.
2. Binge Watch on Your favorite Shows or Films
Snuggled up with your date? Why not spend the day or evening binge watching some romance on Netflix if you can’t be at work. From Downton Abbey to Friends, or finding a classic rom-com, you’ll be bonding with your sweetie and won’t be able turn off the TV.
3. Build a Snowman
If you can make it to his or her home, once the snow settles in, bundle up and go outside to build a snowman or make a snow angel. It’s playful and will bring you back to your youth. In between, indulge with a snowball fight or two.
4. Answer these 36 Love Questions
A Modern Love column on the New York Times reads, To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This. These questions from Psychologist Dr. Aron suggest they can help you fall in love with anybody. Some questions include: Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life and Tell your partner something that you like about them. This exercise should help you get to know each other better and has been known to be responsible for some marriages.
Not sure if that’s realistic or not? Why not give it a try.
5. Create an Indoor Scavenger Hunt
If the geography and transportation allow you to keep your scheduled date, a great way to make it fun and flirty is to create a treasure or scavenger hunt in your home. To do this, place romantic clues in envelopes around your house and number them. At each location, there will be a love note with suggestions for a kiss, a back rub, a foot massage, or whatever your imagination will allow.
6. Write a Traditional Love Note
If your electricity is out and the battery life has expired on your mobile phone, light a candle and grab and pen and paper. It’s time to get traditional and draft a hand-written love note. When you get together for your rescheduled date, hand him or her an envelope to open. You’ll be surprised how it will be received. If your penmanship isn’t the best, a lovey-dovey text never goes unappreciated.
7. Listen to This Audio Book
Download the Audible app on your mobile device and listen to the new audio book version of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. It’s four hours of dating stories and new bonus advice that will help you with your online dating journey. Our bonus chapters include the Epilogue (grab a tissue), which is after Chapter 17 on Kindle and Chapter 21 on Audible.
How has the snowstorm affecting your dating calendar?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.
Photo credit: Fotolia
View our NEW book trailer for The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.
We’re jumping for joy at Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters as October is our Anniversary month. of the launch of CyberDatingExpert.com. It’s been 7 amazing years of providing online dating advice for singles looking for love online and on their mobile on phones on our site.
As a special surprise, I’ve been in Hollywood in the studio for weeks recording the audio book version of my bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. The exciting part is we’ve added a surprise Epilogue to the book that will warm your heart. Beware, some who have seen and heard a sneak preview have gotten teary-eyed with this new ending. Take a look at the behind the scenes photos below.
Plus! We’ve added some fun and new BONUS audio dating tips on how to date on Tinder and other mobile apps, as well as other flirty dating tips to help speed up your search. These are not included in the print edition, so keep an eye our for our release date!
I’m grateful for my amazing producer Jeff Davis who is still in post-production on the project and all I can say is WOW! Thank you from the bottom of my digital heart. Turning lemons into digital lemonade has been an amazing journey and touching the lives of singles worldwide has been a complete joy. Reading the book again was a very emotional experience. I had to stop a few times and reflect on my romantic journey, while sipping tea and honey to keep my voice going for 15 hours!
Many thanks to my friends on Facebook, who after crowdsourcing a handful of book covers designed by the lovely Megan Johnson, it was almost a unanimous vote for the book cover in this post with the gold seal. While some authors don’t like to read their own books, I felt strongly about having my voice heard in this memoir, plus I spent years in radio on-the-air and as a voice-over announcer, so I’ve been trained in radio. I hope you’ll like the final audio book as much as I do and that it will help you on your journey to finding your true love.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
Of more than 19,000 couples who married between 2005 and 2012, 35 percent originally met online, according to a study conducted by the market research firm IBISWorld (and funded by eHarmony). The research found that couples who met online were less likely to divorce and experienced higher levels of marital satisfaction.
With those types of statistics and the overall grim nature of dating, why not take a chance to meet the love of your life on the Internet? We know first-time online daters may be skeptical. Keep a positive attitude and be prepared to face any of these online dating risks:
Exaggerated Online Identities
For some people, online dating websites are spaces to set the past right again and erase relationship mistakes. It’s a space where people want to appear as perfect as possible, from a Photoshopped portrait to a falsely crafted profile. Unfortunately, the disparity between an online dater’s perfect self and the real self is often so gaping that in-person dates can be disastrous, as you can read from some of our Peril of the Week stories or in my bestselling book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Whether or not someone will live up to who they seem to be online is a gamble. Prepare yourself to take that chance and never let disappointment shatter your spirit.
“Catfishing” is the act of creating a completely fictitious online persona (often via Facebook) to mislead or defraud others, according to LifeLock. It’s easy to get tricked into believing catfish are real, as they go to great lengths to develop fake profiles, including those with more than 300 friends and photographs to make it look real. Facebook photographs can easily be stolen from accounts of real people and falsely used on a catfish’s faux Facebook profile. To combat this:
- Do a Google search on Facebook for photos, which could easily be stolen from others’ profiles
- Do the same with a few distinctive phrases in the person’s profile bio. Perpetrators often have duplicate or near-duplicate profiles on multiple sites, each with a different picture or location
- Fraud and identity theft aren’t the norm, but they happen. Limit how much personal information you share until you know you can trust your potential date.
With so many dating sites and pages upon pages of singles’ profiles, it’s easy to maintain high standards and keep a mentality that, “someone better may be out there.” You should never have to settle for someone with whom you don’t have a connection, but focusing on trivial aspects of a person’s profile or appearance will only hinder your quest to find the one. Know your deal breakers?while keeping an open mind.
Also, understand that many online daters become addicted to the process and accustomed to easily disposing of people they’ve met. Make it a point not to take rejections personally. You can’t let your self-worth and confidence break down because of strangers over the Internet.
A Proper Profile
Have a friend or family member whom you can trust to look over your profile or allow us to create your Irresistible Profile to help you attract your dream date and to ensure that it accurately represents who you are. Honesty is the best policy, especially in regards to photos.Oprah.com’s “Tips for Successful Online Dating” recommends that online daters keep pictures “recent and real.” Posted pictures should be taken within the last six months and include both a headshot and full-body shot. Also, avoid pictures with props and try not to post pictures taken with other people.
At Cyber-Dating Expert, we believe in authenticity from the onset and wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and was an early adopter of online dating. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating and coaches singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice,? follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Just one grammatically incorrect sentence in an online dating profile can turn off a potential date from responding to your email or contacting you. Has your Internet dating profile been proof-read and passed the spell-check and grammar check?
On National Punctuation Day, we challenge everyone to review their dating profiles and double check their emails before pushing the send button. We know that auto-correct software sometimes has a digital mind of it’s own. This can result in blowing your chances with that cute hunk that you think might be “the one.”
Simple things such as making sure that words such as “I” are capitalized and that you avoid using acronyms and emoticons are critical if you want to be at the top of his or her list.
Remember to proof read your emails before pressing the send button and take an extra moment today to review your profiles.
If you’re looking for a profile that’s irresistible, contact us for more information on Irresistible Profiles to help you attract your dream date.
Julie Spira and the Cyber-Dating Expert Team.
Julie Spira is a leading online dating and relationship expert.? She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
Today is a momentous day for me.
It?s a day of great reflection and a day of digital pride.
It was four years ago today on July 31, 2008, that I started writing my first book,?The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.
Four years later, on July 31, 2012, I?m now sending out my 15,000th tweet to 25,000+ loyal followers on twitter. I?m humbled. I?m grateful. I?m filled with joy. I want this digital milestone to be meaningful and I?m honored to share this story of a powerful and passionate reinvention you. My life changed dramatically four years ago. It?s an honor and joy to help singles find love on the Internet. It?s time to share my journey. I hope you enjoy the ride.
In the beginning
How did a broadcaster turned technology executive become an online dating expert?
It wasn?t a childhood dream of mine to be an online dating expert or create Cyber-Dating Expert. It was my dream as a young child to become a music radio DJ. I considered myself a ?musicologist,? listened to the radio non-stop and knew that was my calling. I was fortunate to have lived that dream as the first female DJ at a big FM rock station in Upstate New York, where I wanted my listeners to be enriched by sharing my favorite songs on the radio. I believed my listeners would be my forever friends. There was no such thing as BFFs, tweets, updates, and broadcasting was a unilateral. I spoke. People listened. That all changed with social media, where it?s now about the conversation and community. It appears I now have the digital gift of gab.
My love affair with technology started many years ago when I became a network executive. At RKO, we were the country?s first digital-delivered satellite radio network. I was, and still am a hopeful romantic and my life was filled with music and love. I had no idea that my future would include the marriage of love and technology. It makes perfect sense now, of course. I was an early adopter of the Internet and an early adopter of online dating. Why not marry the two things I was so passionate about?
Four Years Ago Today
So what exactly happened on July 31, 2008, and why did I feel the need to open up my entire personal life for people to read about and comment? Basically, I lost a bet at girls night out at Jazz Night at the Hollywood Bowl. It could have been as simple as flipping a coin. One could say I lost the bet. Other’s say I won.? I was sharing some of funny dating stories while passing my BlackBerry around to my married girlfriends to view photos of a date I was considering going on. The odd thing about this particular date was, his mother selected me on behalf of her son on Match.com. She said I was perfect for her never-married son. I found it quite odd that she was looking for love, while playing the role of wing-woman for her son.? Out of curiosity, I wanted to see how it would play out. That story ended up in Chapter 13 of my book, “The Perils of Cyber-Dating” in the story called, ?The Mother-in-Law.? We never met, but it made for humorous conversation.
Then the floodgates opened. I shared the story of the man who went berserk in a restaurant over 10 years earlier because he thought I looked like his recently deceased wife, the gentleman who told me graphic details of his colonoscopy while we were eating lunch, as well as the fairytale romances leading to marriage proposals. All of these stories were a result of online dating. Could I be alone, I wondered?
What we all realized on that important night was that singles everywhere were struggling to find love, both online and offline. These amusing dating stories weren?t unique to me. I had spent years perfecting the Irresistible Profile and helped singles throughout the U.S. shorten their search so they could ride into the digital sunset together. I knew I had a gift. I was told from my mentor that my storytelling skills from being a media personality could be transferred to literary works. I believed him because he believed in me.
When my girlfriends dared me to write a book, I laughed it off and said, “sure.” They were serious and I thought it was funny. However, I reflected to a day 13 years earlier when I decided to write a book about my online dating stories and came up with a the title of ?The Perils of Cyber-Dating.? This was as a result of being proposed to by a married man. That would be perilous, wouldn?t it? I shared the love for my book title with my girlfriends who all agreed it would be perfect. ?Of course someone must have written this book already,? I said to the girls. Then they made a bet with me. If this title had not been published, I must write the book. If it was already written, then being an author wasn?t in the cards for me. I agreed, thinking that I?d be off the hook. Certainly in all these years, there must have been others wanting to write about such perilous stories.
When I returned home, I received a call from my girlfriend who was determined to win the bet. I checked online. I checked on Amazon. Apparently no one had written The Perils of Cyber-Dating. However, as a marketing and communications strategist, I knew I?d need to have the corresponding domain name. I assumed someone was blogging under this title, or perhaps it was parked somewhere. I wasn?t sure how it would pan out. I jotted down chapter titles and a few stories and went to sleep exhausted but enthusiastic about writing the book I promised myself I’d do over a decade before.
The next day, I checked to see if perilsofcyberdating.com was available. Much to my surprise and joy, the domain name was available! ?How could this be?? I asked. Then I knew it was meant to be. I had hundreds of stories that I had collected from almost 15 years. I was on the Internet before most people even knew the Internet. I had been a charter member of Love@AOL before the days of Match.com, eHarmony, and mobile dating.
From my Heart to Print
And so my love affair with my first book began. I wrote. I edited. I reflected. I laughed. I cried. It was empowering, healing, cathartic and more. I knew my story had to be told.? There was no one else with such a unique perspective from dial-up to mobile. I knew I needed to help other singles and that humor and wit would shine along with my authenticity. The first agent I contacted told me that no one would be interested in anyone?s dating stories. Apparently he was wrong and didn?t see the future on how dating blogs and television dating shows would rise in popularity.
When I finished writing the manuscript, I created CyberDatingExpert.com as a place for singles and couples to share their online dating stories and to provide free dating advice for singles looking for love online. Readers started to submit stories for the Cyber Love Story of the Week and Peril of the Week features and commented with enthusiasm.
I remember how exciting it was to create my book cover. I had a vision of a girl getting ready for a date with a city background. The day my first copy of ?The Perils of Cyber-Dating? was delivered to my home. It was like giving birth. I was so very proud. I had received glowing advanced praise including Joan Rivers who said, ?Hilariously Funny! Singles of all ages need to read this book? and E. Jean Carroll from Elle magazine said, ?It?s Like Sex and the City in a Web 2.0 World.?
I started tweeting about my book?s progress using my social media marketing strategies and engaging like-minded singles leading up to my Valentine?s Day launch. On the day it was released, I was filled with tears of joy. ?The Perils of Cyber-Dating? became a best selling dating book in several categories. My passion for helping singles became known worldwide and I started coaching more and more singles every day by giving them the tools to be confident in the digital age.
Words can?t express how grateful I am to have been able to reach millions with my online dating advice. Every day I thank those who have supported me on my journey. Cyber-Dating Expert is now one of the top online dating advice sites on the Internet and has been nominated for numerous awards. I’ve been named “One of America’s Ultimate Experts” by Woman’s World magazine and “The Pioneer of Online Dating” by Cosmo. Our advice has been featured and quoted in and on over 450 stories around the world. I?ve had the opportunity to write for Betty Confidential, eHarmony, Huffington Post, JDate, Match, Your Tango, among others. It’s been an honor to have been quoted on ABC, CBS, Mashable, Men?s Health, and NBC and speak at the Internet Dating Conference.
In the Future
As online dating continues to grow and evolve with mobile dating, our team is at the forefront. Our mobile app, Dating Expert is celebrating its third year and our annual ?Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps? list is highly respected by journalists and singles. Our team created Mobile Dating BootCamp in 2012 and we’ll be casting a second season to be held in Las Vegas in 2013. I?m in the final stages of finishing my second book,?The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Manners on the Web as well as an exciting screenplay.
I was just a girl with a dream, a huge heart, and hundreds of stories, who happened to be an early adopter of online dating. I now have dreams of seeing my story on the big screen and riding off into my very own digital sunset. I have a feeling my dreams will become a reality.
My message to all of you is to follow your heart. Dream big and be open to the possibilities of a new beginning in both love and work. Don?t discard someone who isn?t perfect. None of us are. Be honest and authentic. Remember that patience is a virtue and the best things in life are worth waiting for. Your shelf life does not have an expiration date on it and you can ask for forgiveness and give love another chance. One of our featured couples in the Cyber Love Story of the Week found love on eHarmony at the age of 70. Find your passion and it will welcome you with open arms. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me share the love every single day among 6 continents. I couldn?t have done it without you.
At the end of the digital day, I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Online dating has just taken a big leap to help singles feel safer while looking for love on the Internet.
This week, Kamala D. Harris, the Attorney General for the State of California released a joint statement for online dating safety practices to help singles feel safer while looking for love online. Online dating sites eHarmony, Match.com and Spark Networks signed the agreement together, which will require sites to provide dating safety tips and do the necessary background checks to as agreed in the statement.
On our site, CyberDatingExpert.com, you’ll now see a link for SAFETY on the top of our home page. We want you to fall in love and we want to help you find your dream date. We also want to make sure that you’re following our safety tips as we take this topic very seriously.
In a recent interview on GenConnect TV, I discussed some dating safety tips that you should take to heart.
For more online dating safety tips, visit CyberDatingExpert.com
Julie Spira is an online dating and cyber-relations expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
This scene may sound familiar. You meet a guy and have an instant connection. You start flirting back and forth and the next thing you know, you?re wondering, Are we in a relationship? Are the feelings mutual?
When Deb wrote to me with this familiar scenario after sending multiple flirty text messages to each the new man she had a crush on, she was concerned that things were moving too quickly. Was she becoming too attached?
Deb now wonders if her new guy is a player as he was also flirting with other women. She became anxious about the situation. Now her dream guy is sending her emails and text messages saying that he loves her. Even more confused, she called him out on his flirtatious behavior, of which he replied, ?I get it.? Should she move forward with this guy? What should she do?
Well Deb, some people are born flirts. Instant chemistry is rare and when we find it, we automatically fast-forward our feelings and start thinking about our relationship, our future, marriage, children, the works. But slow down Deb. Why is this guy who?s texting you with love notes flirting with others in the same sentence as he uses the ?L? word so freely. Just how many other women does he say that to? Is he waiting to hear it back to feed his ego or is he sincere?
A man who is committed to being in a relationship with you isn?t going to screw it up by making you jealous and putting himself in the position of being discarded, with his phone number permanently deleted on your iPhone and in your heart.
What should you do? Play the field. Yes. There?s no ring on your finger, and hopefully you haven?t been intimate yet. Don?t confuse love with lust. While your emotions and hormones are running at high speed, you don?t know his intentions other than he?s that instant chemistry guy, which can be dangerous. I know this first hand, as I wrote about it in my book The Perils of Cyber-Dating, when I too, had that instant chemistry with a guy I met. It turned out that he was a major player, and just like the Fleetwood Mac song, Dreams, I’ll hum the line, ?Players on love you when they?re playing.? It?s a game that can leave you feeling empty and alone.
My advice is simply, to take it slow. Date other men. Don?t sleep with this chemistry guy. Have fun flirting here and there, but don?t assume you?re in a relationship. Some relationships that start off hot-and-heavy, end just as quickly.
Hopefully your guy is different. Perhaps he?s just nervous. Texting can?t replace quality time in person. Take a look at my latest YourTango Experts video, where I address the texting issue in a relationship. Time will tell if your guy is for real and time is a precious gift.
Keep me posted.
Wishing you much love and happiness.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Follow her @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert. ?