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20 Ways to Celebrate National Romance Month

National Romance Month

It’s National Romance Awareness Month.  Although love and romance should be a part of your regular regime while dating, in a relationship, or marriage, it’s a great reminder to keep the spark alive in your relationship.

The Match Singles in America Study showed that 68% of single men want to find love this year, so love is in the air, on your mobile phones, and could easily fall into your lap this summer.

To celebrate National Romance month, here are 20 romantic things to do for your date, so they’ll be thinking about you all day long, while waiting to see you on date night.

20 ways to ramp up the romance

Newly Dating or Playing the Field

As one who spends a lot of time helping singles with their mobile dating and online dating profiles, I can’t help but stress that logging on and swiping right are one of the simplest ways to think about romance and relationships.

  • When you log in daily, take extra time to compliment someone on his or her smile, eyes, or outfit.
  • Always use their first name if you know it in messages or texts. 
  • Reply promptly to messages to keep the momentum going.

You’ll be surprised how quickly the boomerang effect will take place. You’ll feel like romance is just a click away.

Send Flirty Texts

I’m a huge fan of sending romantic text messages leading up to your date.

  • Send a fun and flirty morning text message to let your date or significant other know that you’re excited about your date.
  • Tell the person you’re dating that they’re your hero.
  • Say you’re the luckiest person in the world to have met him or her.
  • Add a few xoxo’s at the end of your messages to show affection.

Read: 20 Flirty Text Messages to Capture His Heart

Leave a Hand-Written Love Note

While I love the flirty texts, there’s something extra personal about receiving a hand-written note or card.

  • Leave a surprise love note on their pillow or in the bathroom drawer for the object of your affection.
  • Send a card in the mail with a stamp on it and let your sweetheart know what you mean to them.
  • Remember to say ‘I love you.”

The best part is, it’s a keepsake and can be looked at during the days and nights in between your next date.

Smile and be Confident

Believe it or not, you actually feel happier and more confident even when you’re smiling while even talking on the telephone or texting.  But when you’re out-and-about, wear that smile proudly in public.

  • Nobody can imagine romance with a “Debbie” or “Donnie Downer,” so smile at the grocery store
  • Smile while standing in line at the bank or waiting for your turn at the ATM, or in an exercise class.

You’ll come across as happier and don’t be surprised if a few heads turn.

First Date Rules – Be Proactive for Romance

Being passive on a date doesn’t help you in the romance department. Sure you don’t want to be too aggressive, but a survey from dating site Zoosk showed the squeaky wheel gets the romance deal.

  • The survey said 34% of singles finding it most romantic when their date plans a surprise activity for their first date
  • 27% liking to hold hands on the first date
  • 25% actually enjoying it when their date leans in for that first memorable kiss.

Schedule Date Nights

If you already have a steady loved one, you know how often relationships can end up in a rut after the first three months. When the honeymoon period starts to wane, if you’re not dating your mate and creating romantic memories, it’s easy for the relationship to fizzle out.

  • Pick the same day each week for “date night” and take turns selecting your date spot.
  • You don’t have to break the bank, especially during Romance Awareness Month, as there are plenty of free concerts, where you can bring a picnic basket to.
  • Take that beach walk that is listed in your dating profile. Being barefoot on the beach with your toes in the sand, or building a sandcastle is still an ultimate romantic date.

Read: 5 Ways to Create a Great Date Night

Introduce Your Date to Friends and Family

Do you want to show your love? Go out in public hand-in-hand with your partner and show some PDA.

  • Take him or her to a family outing
  • Plan a romantic weekend away and post photos as a couple
  • Watch a romantic comedy or binge watch your favorite shows for a Netflix-and-Chill night.

What romantic rituals help you in your relationship?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Mobile and Online Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been creating Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene for over two decades.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

Dating Advice – 5 Ways to Heal When Your Ex Moves On

Celebrity relationships were all the buzz this week. As the guest dating expert on “Access Hollywood Live,” I joined Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover to talk about dating, love, Jay-Zee big confession about his marriage to Beyonce, and Ben Affleck’s public appearances with his new girlfriend, SNL producer Lindsay Shookus.

RELATED: Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

With Affleck showing off his new relationship status, the question was asked, “what do you do when your ex moves on?”

Since just about everyone can relate to a heartbreak, we did a deep dive on how Hollywood celebs, or the girl next door should cope post-breakup when your ex finds a new girlfriend.

Here are the 5 tips I shared with Access Hollywood Live

1. Do a Digital Detox

Julie Spira - Access Hollywood

“The first tip is do what I call a digital detox. Even if you’ve said, ‘Okay, we’re going to stay friends when you break up,’ it’s really hard to just move into that friend zone. What happens is you start to become a stalker and you just can’t help yourself. So don’t do that. Block them and unfriend them on Facebook. You can always become friends again once the dust has settled and you both have moved on. Staring at other the other people at you and your sweetheart’s favorite restaurant that you used to go to for your anniversary is just something that is going to sting.”

2. Don’t Compare and Contrast

via GIPHY

“It’s so easy to fall into that trap of comparing yourself to the new girl. You may ask yourself, is she prettier? Does she have nicer clothes? Is she better in bed? Is she smarter? Is she sexier? You get into this trap, and it’s really bad because what happens is, your brain starts to trick you into thinking that comparing yourself to this person is natural. You need to your own individuality. You don’t really know that she’s good at anything other than being the next girl.”

3. Practice Self Love

via GIPHY

“Self-love really is number one. One of these tips that I use with the singles that I coach is if you’re going through a break-up, get dressed up, looked good, stand in front of your mirror and say, ‘You are the the prize,’ and repeat it, ‘You are the prize.’ Eventually, you will believe it. The more that you can love yourself and go out and do good things for yourself, like workout more, maybe lose that weight you want to, take up a yoga class, or take up a new hobby, the more you will become more dateable.”

4. Avoid the Rebound Relationship

via GIPHY

“We see more rebound relationships with men than with women. Women tend to hang out with their girlfriends and, of course, talk about their ex. Just because he might have moved on in a split second doesn’t mean that you need to do the same. I really feel that– having a replacement boyfriend immediately, can often backfire. It might not be a good fit for you, and then you’ve got to get over two break-ups.”

5. Get Out and Live Life!

Julie Spira - Access Hollywood

“I always say that take that covers off your head. Think about the books and magazines that might have been stacking up and start reading them. Maybe go under a palm tree and read a magazine, or if you actually once thought you might want to write a book, start penning that book and writing down your thoughts. Journal about your break-up because the more you read and write it, the more healing it is. Remember, there’s a reason that you broke up and that this person is now your ex. I always say, “Knock him off that pedestal right now.”

RELATED: Jay-Z and Beyonce – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

Why Does He Text Another Woman

In this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a female reader is uncomfortable with the text messages her boyfriend is sending and receiving from another woman. What would you do? Read our answer here.

Dear Julie,

My boyfriend of over a year texts a woman who lives in a different state constantly. She has feelings for him. I told him that it makes me feel uncomfortable. But he tells me that I’m insecure and that they work together.

Please help!

Rhonda

Dear Rhonda,

Thanks for your message and I’m so sorry to hear about this painful experience you’re going through with your boyfriend.

That would make any girl uncomfortable. If you’ve been together for over a year, I’m assuming you’re in a committed relationship.

Texting or chatting with a woman on social media when it makes you uncomfortable is a form of emotional cheating. He’s giving you reasons to feel insecure, even though she lives in another state. He may be getting a dopamine boost, or at least an ego boost every time he hears the chirp text message from her. 

If he said, “gee I’m sorry. I’ll stop doing that because I don’t want to hurt you,” I’d be happy to hear that.

RELATED: Gone Fishing, or Is it Over? 

Instead he wants to keep flirting with his digital girlfriend, who perhaps doesn’t even know you exist. I get it that it’s a great ego boost for him and it seems new and shiny to him, unattainable, and a bit of a fantasy relationship since she doesn’t live in town.

Here’s what I think you should do. Explain to him that you believe this texting is a form of emotional cheating and ask him why he feels the need to text her. Start sending him flirty texts so that need is fulfilled by you and perhaps he won’t feel the desire to text her. Then ask him to put the brakes on it and stop texting her out of respect for you. Ask him if he will let her know he’s involved with you and that he wants to focus his energies on your relationship.

Know that every man likes to look at women who are attractive and that’s normal. Creating this emotional bond over texts is crossing the line. He can’t have his girlfriend (you) and this girl on the side on his keyboard and lead her on. She probably doesn’t even know about you! Even if he isn’t interested in her romantically, if she made it clear she has feelings for him, this has potential to grow and could be harmful to your relationship.

RELATED: 20 Flirty Text Messages to Capture His Heart

Instead of demanding to see his phone to see the texts, just ask him if he will stop. If he won’t, ask him why this is important to him and find out what’s missing from your relationship so you can spice it up. Texts can lead to sexts and it’s damaging to a relationship. It can also become addictive.

Have a heart to heart talk with your guy before you call it quits, but if he won’t put your relationship at the top and stop these text exchanges with a woman who claims to have feelings for him, it may be time to call it quits.

We’re here to help you, so if you need dating coaching advice, check out our Irresistible Coaching programs.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

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What Do I Do If He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day?

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

In this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a single woman is feeling anxious because the guy she’s dating hasn’t asked her out yet for Valentine’s Day. Here’s her question and our answer.

Dear Julie,

I met this great guy online and we’ve gone out on five dates since the New Year. I really like him and we haven’t discussed dating exclusively yet, but I’ve seen him the past two Saturday nights, so I really think I’m becoming his girlfriend.

Should I be worried that he didn’t ask me out yet for Valentine’s Day? It’s next week, so what is he waiting for? Would it be wrong of me to bring it up first? Maybe he was focused on football, but that game is over and I really want to spend Valentine’s with him.

What should I say or do?

Corrine

Dear Corrine,

First of all, congratulations on meeting a great guy online. January is one of the busiest months for online dating and lots of singles are joining dating sites as part of their New Year’s resolutions list.

You didn’t mention if both of you still have ACTIVE dating profiles up or not. I have a feeling you probably do, as if you haven’t had the talk about exclusivity or Valentine’s, he might assume you’re dating other people and he might be doing the same.

Believe it or not, most guys don’t like Valentine’s Day. They think it’s overrated, expensive, and would rather stay home and watch TV. However the romantic and smart ones will know that if they don’t ask you out on the biggest romance day of the week, they’ll be in the dog house and might not get a chance to continue dating you after the 14th. Is this harsh? I think it’s more a matter of tradition.

READ MORE: Why Valentine’s Day for Women is Like the Super Bowl for Men

So if you have a dating profile that’s still online and you’d like to see this guy exclusively and hopefully for Valentine’s Day, I urge you NOT to log on.  He and his friends don’t need to see that you’re busy scouring the Internet for potential dates.  How would you feel after a great date with this new guy, if you noticed that he went online right away? Probably not great.

So my best advice is, if you don’t want to date others and really like this guy, then don’t. Take your profile down if you like, but don’t let him know that you did this.  You should do it for yourself, not because you think he has to do the same. He’ll probably notice it, but a man needs to make the decision to be exclusive based on how he feels when he’s with you. If your dates are fun and light and you’re a joy to be around, he’ll notice those red candy boxes everywhere and will probably want to do something with you for Valentine’s Day.

Towards the end of this week, let him know that you really are traditional and love sharing Valentine’s Day with the person you’re dating. Stop and LISTEN to what he says. If he starts to pull back or changes the subject, it might mean he has made other plans. The best thing you could do is not get upset with him. If he asks you out for the 13th or the 15th, reply with, “Oh, I was hoping I’d be your Valentine.”

READ MORE: 7 TIPS TO GET LUCKY IN LOVE ON VALENTINE’S DAY

You’ve only gone out on five dates and that’s a lot of pressure to put on a guy when a relationship is so new. Buy him a cute card, or better yet, there are so many fun cards on JibJab, the animated card site, so send him a humorous card; not something that says, “I love you,” and see how he responds.

The bottom line is, he knows it’s Valentine’s Day, but might not know how special that day is for you. Rather than having him spend a lot of money on a fancy restaurant, why not suggest collaborating on an in-room-dining experience, where each one of you brings or makes a different dish. It’s a great way to bond in a relationship without all of the pressure.

Do you have a question for Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Photo credit: Fotolia

7 Tips to Get Lucky in Love by Valentine’s

7 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine'sValentine’s is about one week away. Some singles are stressing big time about how to find a date for the most romantic day of the year. Others could care less and will hang out with friends or hide under the sheets alone.

If finding a date for Valentine’s is on your list, I have great news for you. With a little effort and the help of your mobile phone, you can get lucky and find a date by Valentine’s Day.

7 tips for singles to get lucky in love this Valentine’s Day

1. RSVP to all events and parties

Whether it’s a business mixer or speed dating event, go out, dress up, and wear that smile of yours. Check out some events on MeetUp or any singles events and don’t be shy.

2. Update your online dating profile

If your primary shot was from three years ago, it’s outdated. It’s time for a digital facelift to show off the new you. Post photos of a recent trip and caption them if you can. Find a favorite photo or two on Facebook or Instagram. If you got a new puppy add it to your profile, but don’t use it as a primary shot. Mobile dating app Tinder actually reorders your photos showing the best one first.

3. Download 3 mobile dating apps

Research shows that singles are using on average 3 mobile dating apps. They’re so easy to use and you can find a date in minutes, not days. A Pew research survey showed that the number of millennials using dating sites and apps has tripled in the last few years!

4. Be proactive and Upgrade During Peak Times

The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal. If you’re online, write to 5-10 people a day. Think of it like sending out 5-10 resumes a day if you’re looking for a job, only this is better. You could find the love of your life. Respond quickly and turn on those push notifications to find out when someone hot sends you a message!

Also, you can appear more frequently on sites and apps for just a few dollars.Did you know that OkCupid lets you know when it’s Rush Hour? Match has a Top Spot and Tinder has a Boost? All of them boost your profile to the top of the list in a search, where you can be viewed more than 10 times than normal. Yes, for less than the price of one cup of coffee, it’s worth a shot.

5. Check out your single friends on Facebook 

Have a digital crush? Check out his or her relationship status and if it it says “single,” go ahead and start flirting on Facebook chat. Plenty of couples have found love on the world’s largest social network, as can be seen on FacebookLoveStories.com.

6. Go to a restaurant or coffee shop with WIFI

Working from home? Why be alone when you can be out in public with your computer instead. Make sure to dress up and take walks to the restroom or pass by as many people as possible with a smile on your face. It will become your new office to work and flirt. Stop, stare, and smile.

7. Text an ex 

As a last resort, know that 20% of singles do text their former love on Valentine’s if they’re flying solo. Send a quick Happy Valentine’s message with an emoticon to your former flame. If you decide to do so, do it in the morning, not at night, as he or she might be on a Valentine’s date, or they might look at you as a late night booty call.

Remember, although Valentine’s Day is a big day for couples, the day after, February 15th, is Singles Awareness Day. Either way, love yourself first and love will come your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Looking for help with dating? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 
Photo credit: Fotolia

#MusicMonday Quote of the Day

Happy Music Monday. As we start a new week, it’s time to put the digital DJ hat on and share a musical quote from the bankd UB40 about love to warm your heart.

Music Monday

“Love is a thing, well, it’s kid of like quicksand: The more you are in it, the deeper you sink. And when it hits you, you’ve just got to fall.”

Don’t be afraid of falling into quicksand. Open your heart. It isn’t a lifetime sentence, but could be a lifetime of happiness coming your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on Twitter and Instagram

Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles programs will help you find your dream date and read our many client testimonials.

What to Do if Your Boss Sees Your Dating Profile

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowIt’s bound to happen, you nervously put up an online dating profile with the hope of finding someone special to date, and suddenly it’s spotted by your boss, your neighbor, parents of friends of your kids, co-workers and more.

As a dating expert and coach, I’ve seen this happen to many of you. In my relationship column on Bikini, a female reader asked this question.

Q: I caught my boss checking me out on a dating website? I’m not sure if I should be excited or disturbed

A: Of course your boss is on a dating site or a mobile app. So are you and over 50 million other singles, including people who don’t know about your relationship status. It does feel like a creepy boundary issue, doesn’t it?  Chances are your boss was scrolling through hundreds of profiles photos in your geographic area and your familiar face popped up on the screen or on his mobile phone, so it was natural to take a peek at your profile.

So many sites allow you to see who has viewed your profile, so this isn’t unusual. Before you start comparing bad dates with your superior, my best advice is to ignore it. Then take matters into your own hands and block your boss from viewing your profile. I call it digital housekeeping. This way he or she won’t appear in your search and you won’t appear in theirs.

Both of you now know you’re on the same dating site and it could be just as uncomfortable for him or her as well. If your boss happens to mention viewing your profile, don’t have a meltdown. Just say, you’re single and dating and can’t think of a better way to meet someone outside of work than by joining an online dating site and mobile dating apps.

At some point, you’ll meet an amazing guy and will be taking your profile down anyway.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Do you have a question for online dating expert Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

SIGN UP for our FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for quotes about love and romance.

How to Handle the Dreaded Pull Back

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowOne of our most popular dating advice blog posts, What to Do When He Pulls Back, is still getting a lot of comments.

I get it that so many of you are in such pain and don’t understand it when things are going great, why your boyfriend will disappear, call you less, stop texting, or even take the more drastic action of breaking up.

Our recent comment comes from A. As a dating expert and coach, I can tell you that she’s not alone. Read her relationship problem and feel free to comment.

Dear Julie

Wow! I’ve been researching the web for answers for about a month now and it seems like your article just answered all of my questions.

I’ve dated a guy for 3 months. It seems like he was the one and made me feel like I was the one too. He never said “I love you” but I felt like he was in love… He was texting me at least twice a day, we saw each other every 2 weeks (we had a long distance relationship and he had his son every other week).

He wrote me a beautiful birthday card, I met his son and BAM, a week later, he left just saying he was scared and that maybe, he didn’t love me enough to continue in this relationship. I asked to discuss more but he just disappeared.

Note: he is also getting through some stressful times at work + his last relationship with his son’s mom ended very badly.

A month later, I still haven’t heard from him but I still think he loves me and made a big mistake. I know it was stressful for him and he probably just was overwhelmed. It was a big deal for him to introduce me to his son as well.

Anyways. I am still hopeful. What do you think? Can he realize that it was all about stress? How long can it take? I am slowly moving on but he was “my man” and I still feel that our story is not over…

Thanks 🙂

Dear A.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re guy had to pull back and couldn’t handle a serious relationship with you. Timing is always an important factor in relationships. The trick is to meet the right person at the right time and have a relationship move forward effortlessly.

Unfortunately it’s often not the case. Either someone is in transition from a previous relationship, has work issues that are higher on the totem pole than a relationship, or needs space. You might be the right person at the wrong time. I can’t tell you that for sure, as I’ve never met nor spoken with your now ex-boyfriend.

What I can tell you is that men often need space and time to figure things out without having outside pressure. Also, three months is a critical time for all relationships. I call it the first trimester of love. This is when the honeymoon phase takes place and both  men and women reanalyze their relationship statuses at 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, and one year. Three months is probably the most frequent time that I see people breaking up, deciding they don’t want to step it up to a more serious stage, which does include agreeing to be in a committed relationship, saying “I love you,” and more of a groove.

When a man says “I love you,” outside of the bedroom and afterglow of sex, it’s really a big deal to them. They project to the future and if they aren’t ready, they’ll disappear if they think that’s what you want.

That being said, if he comes to his senses and realizes what a prize you are, he’ll come back. If he said he was scared, he was being authentic and genuine. The guy has his hands full!

The big questions is, will you still be available if and when he returns? At this point, you need to start dating and maybe you’ll even meet someone who’s a better match for you. This can’t happen if you’re pining away for the guy you adored for just three months.

Go and be confident and become available for love. The right person will find you. Your guy just isn’t ready for anything serious, or isn’t ready for anything serious with you. (sorry)

Be grateful that you could have such strong feelings for someone, but if he comes back, it will be because you aren’t needy and he is ready. For now, there’s no reason to chase him or expect your guy to magically come back. There’s no calendar date. He may even meet someone else, but if his feelings for you were stronger, he will realize that by comparison.

I know it hurts. I’ve been there and can tell you, often they do come back. It comes down to a question of timing.

Perhaps if and when he resurfaces, you’ll no longer have a relationship status of “single.” No matter what, don’t chase him. Live your fabulous life and surround yourself with friends and activities. If it’s meant to be, it will be, but he will need to be the one to realize that.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie

Follow dating expert @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for relationship advice.

 

Why Does My Boyfriend Still Chat Online

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowDear Julie,

I’m frustrated with something happening in my relationship and hope you can help.

Can you please help me understand what my boyfriend means when he says, “He misses chatting to girls, because he enjoys their conversations more than male conversations.”

He added that he also misses the fact that he can talk to them without people jumping to conclusions.

Do you think he misses being single and having the excitement of taking to new girls? We’ve been dating for almost a year and we’re very similar and haven’t been in a fight as yet, because we usually talk through things before it becomes a problem.

Many thanks,

Anneline

———————————————————————————————–

My Dear Anneline,

As a dating expert, I can tell you that your boyfriend clearly needs the validation that other girls still like him, even if he is hopelessly devoted to you. I don’t know if the two of you met online or out-and-about, but it’s clear to me that he’s keeping his options open. Perhaps he’s insecure or just got addicted to online dating and can’t take his profile down.

I don’t know if he’s chatting on social media sites such as snapchat, Facebook, WhatsApp or actually has a profile on Tinder or Bumble and is chatting that way. Either way, I look at chatting and flirting with other women when you’re in a relationship as a bit of emotional cheating and a larger case of insecurity.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Many years ago, I had a boyfriend who I met online. When it was time to take out profiles down, we did it together and agreed to be exclusive. Everything seemed fine, except one day later, he admitted that he was having a digital withdrawal of women no longer looking at him online. He wasn’t writing back to them, nor was he scheduling dates. He had been online for so long that disconnecting became painful to him. He loved having the digital ego boost of a woman writing to him or viewing his profile. He got over it, but it caused him stress.

If your boyfriend is on a dating app and chatting, it’s grounds for breaking up. He can chat to “friends” on facebook without telling the world he’s on a dating site and available.

The reason that men don’t even like to change their relationship status, is because until they’ve committed totally, they don’t want to feel that they will never sleep with another woman ever again. I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s fairly accurate.

Let your boyfriend know you don’t mind him having female platonic friends and that you have male platonic friends as well. But be clear, you’re not interested in being with anyone who wants to keep his options open, so unless the people he’s chatting with know about you or you’re mutual friends, you have a right to tell him flat out that it’s disrespectful to you. Ask him how he’d feel if you were flirting with other guys pretending you didn’t have a boyfriend. I doubt he’d like that either.

I’m not saying you should break up, but let him know that you’re a woman who deserves to be respected and he should refocus his flirting behavior and chats and direct them at you.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie

Do you have a question for online dating and mobile dating expert Julie Spira? Send your dating and relationship questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram for dating advice and sign up for our FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

Should You Text Him? 12 Facts About Texting #infographic

Text RegretThere’s so much digital confusion going one when it comes to texting and matters of the heart.

There’s no reason to wait by your phone to see if your digital crush or your boyfriend will be sending you a text, yet people still do.

When you or your sweetie are busy, sending a quick text is a great way to stay in touch when you can’t pick up the phone and call, or if you’re in between dates. Sending a flirty text can put a smile on his face and receiving one just might make your day.

Still, the amount of anxiety that surrounds sending or receiving text messages can’t be helped for many.

Related: 20 Flirty Texts to Capture His Heart

First all of all, let’s take a big deep digital breath and look at texting behavior.

10 Facts About Texting

  • Ladies, men don’t usually agonize over text messages the way that women do.
  • Over-texting or sending multiple texts before getting a response may make you appear needy.
  • Texting isn’t a replacement for hearing the sound of someone’s voice or getting together IRL.
  • Texting can be the best digital foreplay before a date. Saying what you’re wearing, or not wearing will result in a reaction of one type or another.
  • Texting shouldn’t be an obligation or chore.
  • Your value is not based on the response time of texts.
  • It’s fine to text him first, if you have something great to say.
  • Texting to confirm dates or if you’re running late is courteous.
  • If you have any doubt as to whether you should send a text, then don’t. Watch a rom-com instead.
  • Not everyone keeps their phone attached to their hip, but they do usually check it when they wake up and before they go to sleep.
  • If you’re reading this post, then you probably shouldn’t be sending a text.
  • Never, ever break up in a text message.

Related: Does Texting Make Your Dating Life Crazy?

If you still aren’t sure what to do, this handy-dandy Should I Text Him infographic has come to the rescue.

Should You Text Him

Source: Visual.ly

Now I know you’ve gone out on a limb before and have sent a text message, which didn’t get a reply. You might wonder, did he receive it? Was his phone turned off? Should I send it again?

A survey from JDate and ChristianMingle showed that the response time to a text should be between 1-4 hours. They also pointed out that 68% of singes still want to talk on the phone and schedule dates, as compared to 20% who prefer texting to schedule dates.

Related: Dating in a Texting World

My message to you is, don’t agonize over a text. Ten years ago, it wasn’t even a regular part of your vocabulary and no one was busy swiping right looking to fill their date cards.

At the end of the digital day, don’t play texting and waiting games. If someone sends you a text and you’re near your phone, reply. It’s the way people are communicating these days. If you can spare some extra time, pick up the phone and call to say hello. The sound of someone’s voice will never go out of style.

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert, Mobile Dating Expert, and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating, and was an early adopter of Internet dating, coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out how Irresistible Profiles will help you fill your date card to find your dream date.

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