relationship advice Archives - Cyber Dating Expert : Cyber Dating Expert
In the News

He Won’t Call me His Girlfriend – Should We Break Up?

Ask the Cyber-Dating ExpertDear Julie,

I just read your article on online. It’s called 12 Reasons why he won’t call you his girlfriend.

I have been dating a guy for almost 8 months and he doesn’t want to call me his girlfriend. He got out of divorce 2 years ago and it was really bad for him emotionally and financially and he doesn’t want to be pressured.

I told him I just want to be labeled as his girlfriend, not asking for a marriage. He dated a lot of girls and he didn’t go through this emotional issue until he met me. I went thru divorce 15 years ago and finally ready for a real relationship.

What should I do? He tells me I’m important to him and he does treats me well.. I’m about to end the relationship.

Elle

RELATED: Dating Expert Guide to Breaking Up

Dear Elle

I haven’t met you or your boyfriend, so I can’t say for sure what he’s thinking as it relates to your relationship. It’s clear you are at two different points in the relationship cycle. His divorce is still fresh. For men, adding a label does mean he’s all ten toes in and could be committed for life. If he acts like your boyfriend, isn’t seeing anyone else, is loyal and devoted to you, and makes you a priority, you can let it slide. The period from 6-12 months is when a man will decide on his own what label he wants to use to define your relationship. If he says you’re important to him, then believe him. If you think you’re just a transition person, let him know that you don’t think the two of you want the same type of relationship and although he’s important to you, you need to move on.

Let him know IF he changes his mind AND you’re still available, you’d be open to a more serious relationship. Keep me posted and good luck.

Dear Julie,

Well, I broke up with him….because I didn’t understand why he was all afraid of his ex finding out his current relationship. He said he just doesn’t want her to know his life, blah blah blah. I didn’t like his response and I broke up with him via text! I know I’m terrible but he has broken up via text with me before so I don’t feel too bad. I still like him but I wanted to respect my wishes. He has yet to text back. It’s been 6 days..

He also said we are more like a “friend with benefits” because he just doesn’t want a GF because he’s afraid so…. There you go.

RELATED: How to Go From Friends With Benefits to Being in Love

Dear Elle,

You did the right thing. Any man who hates labels then suddenly labels you as a FWB and says he doesn’t want a girlfriend doesn’t deserve someone special like you.

Know that there are great men out there who want exactly what you want. Congratulations on being strong and ignore any text that comes your way.

Guys like to know they can get you back, even if they can’t provide what you’re looking for, which is what was pretty much said to you. I’m sorry you went through this, but better eight months than wasting eight years.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Do you have a question for online dating expert Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/Contact

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. As an early adopter of online dating, she’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

For dating advice, SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter and FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Your Guide to Cuffing Season – Get Ready to Couple Up

via GIPHY

Hello Cuffing Season

In case you haven’t heard of ‘Cuffing Season,’ it’s the time of the year, usually from November 1st to February 15th when the weather is cooler, and when couples decide to become exclusive and find a significant other for the big holidays; Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, and Valentine’s Day.

These days, during the first week in October when the weather changes, summer romances have faded, kids are back in school, the leaves start falling, and Halloween costumes appear in the stores, is a time where the desire to couple up starts to appear and continues to grow.

Some call it Pre-Cuffing Season right now. In my experience as a dating coach and online dating expert, cuffing season just seems to start earlier and earlier each year.

Cuffing Season Defined

Urban Dictionary defines ‘Cuffing Season’ as “Usually the colder months; i.e. fall or winter, when new relationships start and old relationships turn into engagements. The persons in said relationships are ‘cuffed,’ meaning that they no longer seek non-platonic relationships with others.”

For those who are finding themselves single, don’t be surprised if an old flame reappears, even if it was someone who had ghosted you.

During Cuffing Season, guys go back into old text messages on their phones, re-review their matches on Tinder or Bumble dating apps, and sign up for online dating sites to subconsciously start or restart a relationship.

5 Ways to Find a New Relationship This Fall

via GIPHY

With the change of seasons, brings an opportunity for a new beginning for many.

  1. Accept party and business invitations and force yourself to go.
  2. Smile wherever you go out in public. It’s contagious in a good way.
  3. Refresh your mobile dating and online dating profiles with new photos and a new bio.
  4. Engage with people you find interesting on Facebook who are single.
  5. Flirt on Instagram and other social media channels.

With the tragic shooting in Las Vegas, there’s been an unusual need to hug one another. If you’re in a relationship that’s new, you could want to feel closer, to feel protected, and to want to express your love to that person a bit sooner than you might have had.

So if you’re looking to kiss someone special under the mistletoe this holiday season, don’t wait until November 1st to focus on love.

As a dating and relationship expert and coach, I encourage you to take the covers off your head, go out with a big smile on your face and be approachable, as it really can be an exciting time for love. Sipping hot toddies or hot chocolate by the fireplace is a visual you just might want to be a participant in. Party invites from business networking events are starting to pile in, so RSVP and fill up your date card.

If you’re in a toxic relationship or one that makes you anxious or are walking on eggshells, it’s time to get out. Staying in a bad relationship just for the holidays prevents you from finding someone more compatible to create new memories with. The possibilities are endless!

If you need any hand holding, check out our Irresistible Profiles packages to help speed up your search.

Happy Cuffing Season.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Cuffing Season

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She has been helping singles find love on the Internet for over 20 years. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and instagram for dating advice and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Find out how Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date during Cuffing Season.

 

Help! My Boyfriend Created a Tinder Profile After a Fight

Hi Julie,

Today my best friend was on Tinder and found my boyfriend’s account. We have been together almost 3 years, though we have broken up twice. I confronted him about it and he told me he made it after a big fight of ours, realized he was making a mistake, then deleted the app, and must have forgotten to delete the account.

He said that he didn’t message or get involved with anyone. When I asked him for permission to log on to see if his claims were true, he said that he already just deleted the account.

What do I do?

Worried

My Dear Worried,

If I had a dollar for every person who contacted me after they or a friend found a Tinder profile during a swiping frenzy, I’d take a trip around the world.

RELATED: HELP! I FOUND MY BOYFRIEND ON TINDER

All relationships go through bumps on the road, and a guy often looks to see who else is out there, if he has doubts about the relationship, or even if he’s about to make a deeper commitment.

That doesn’t mean he met someone, chatted with someone, or even remembered he had a moment of faux girlfriend shopping.

The most important part of a relationship is trust. If he says he deleted the app, that’s probably exactly what he thinks he did and you need to believe him.

When someone removes Tinder from their mobile phone, they assume it’s gone, as they aren’t using it. There is a difference between removing Tinder from your phone and deleting your account permanently. Most people don’t realize that.

Your boyfriend thinks he’s a good guy and is in a relationship with you, but his profile will still appear on Tinder as a potential match to others, so yes, it looks like a form of cheating.

RELATED: HOW TO DELETE YOUR TINDER PROFILE WHEN YOU MEET THE ONE

I say let it slide now, or you could be headed for another breakup. If it’s not on his phone, he isn’t swiping right or left on anyone, nor is he chatting with anyone. Give it a few weeks and let him know that you appreciate him being honest with you about “removing” Tinder from his phone and that you’re happy everything is going well with the two of you.

Then let him know you read an article (mine), that said if you take Tinder off your phone, it stays on their service as an active profile unless you log on and specifically click “Delete Account.” It’s in the settings part of the profile that looks like a gear at the very bottom.  Tell him it would make you feel more comfortable if he deleted/disabled his account, so others who know both of you don’t assume that the two of you agreed to an “open relationship.” Make it about the two of you, not just about you.

Send him this link, How to Delete Tinder on how to do it, but don’t look over his shoulder and question him on who he was chatting with, if anyone. Again, it’s about trust and show that you trust that he tried to remove Tinder correctly and that even you didn’t realize there’s a difference between removing Tinder and deleting an account.

I think he’s telling you the truth and really wants you to trust him. Have the conversation in a very loving way. He’ll appreciate the fact that neither of you want to send the message that you’re available for an open relationship, when you’re not.

Keep me posted!

Julie

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for dating and find out how our Irresistible Profiles programs will help you find your dream date.

 

 

20 Ways to Celebrate National Romance Month

National Romance Month

It’s National Romance Awareness Month.  Although love and romance should be a part of your regular regime while dating, in a relationship, or marriage, it’s a great reminder to keep the spark alive in your relationship.

The Match Singles in America Study showed that 68% of single men want to find love this year, so love is in the air, on your mobile phones, and could easily fall into your lap this summer.

To celebrate National Romance month, here are 20 romantic things to do for your date, so they’ll be thinking about you all day long, while waiting to see you on date night.

20 ways to ramp up the romance

Newly Dating or Playing the Field

As one who spends a lot of time helping singles with their mobile dating and online dating profiles, I can’t help but stress that logging on and swiping right are one of the simplest ways to think about romance and relationships.

  • When you log in daily, take extra time to compliment someone on his or her smile, eyes, or outfit.
  • Always use their first name if you know it in messages or texts. 
  • Reply promptly to messages to keep the momentum going.

You’ll be surprised how quickly the boomerang effect will take place. You’ll feel like romance is just a click away.

Send Flirty Texts

I’m a huge fan of sending romantic text messages leading up to your date.

  • Send a fun and flirty morning text message to let your date or significant other know that you’re excited about your date.
  • Tell the person you’re dating that they’re your hero.
  • Say you’re the luckiest person in the world to have met him or her.
  • Add a few xoxo’s at the end of your messages to show affection.

Read: 20 Flirty Text Messages to Capture His Heart

Leave a Hand-Written Love Note

While I love the flirty texts, there’s something extra personal about receiving a hand-written note or card.

  • Leave a surprise love note on their pillow or in the bathroom drawer for the object of your affection.
  • Send a card in the mail with a stamp on it and let your sweetheart know what you mean to them.
  • Remember to say ‘I love you.”

The best part is, it’s a keepsake and can be looked at during the days and nights in between your next date.

Smile and be Confident

Believe it or not, you actually feel happier and more confident even when you’re smiling while even talking on the telephone or texting.  But when you’re out-and-about, wear that smile proudly in public.

  • Nobody can imagine romance with a “Debbie” or “Donnie Downer,” so smile at the grocery store
  • Smile while standing in line at the bank or waiting for your turn at the ATM, or in an exercise class.

You’ll come across as happier and don’t be surprised if a few heads turn.

First Date Rules – Be Proactive for Romance

Being passive on a date doesn’t help you in the romance department. Sure you don’t want to be too aggressive, but a survey from dating site Zoosk showed the squeaky wheel gets the romance deal.

  • The survey said 34% of singles finding it most romantic when their date plans a surprise activity for their first date
  • 27% liking to hold hands on the first date
  • 25% actually enjoying it when their date leans in for that first memorable kiss.

Schedule Date Nights

If you already have a steady loved one, you know how often relationships can end up in a rut after the first three months. When the honeymoon period starts to wane, if you’re not dating your mate and creating romantic memories, it’s easy for the relationship to fizzle out.

  • Pick the same day each week for “date night” and take turns selecting your date spot.
  • You don’t have to break the bank, especially during Romance Awareness Month, as there are plenty of free concerts, where you can bring a picnic basket to.
  • Take that beach walk that is listed in your dating profile. Being barefoot on the beach with your toes in the sand, or building a sandcastle is still an ultimate romantic date.

Read: 5 Ways to Create a Great Date Night

Introduce Your Date to Friends and Family

Do you want to show your love? Go out in public hand-in-hand with your partner and show some PDA.

  • Take him or her to a family outing
  • Plan a romantic weekend away and post photos as a couple
  • Watch a romantic comedy or binge watch your favorite shows for a Netflix-and-Chill night.

What romantic rituals help you in your relationship?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Mobile and Online Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been creating Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene for over two decades.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

Dating Advice – 5 Ways to Heal When Your Ex Moves On

Celebrity relationships were all the buzz this week. As the guest dating expert on “Access Hollywood Live,” I joined Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover to talk about dating, love, Jay-Zee big confession about his marriage to Beyonce, and Ben Affleck’s public appearances with his new girlfriend, SNL producer Lindsay Shookus.

RELATED: Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

With Affleck showing off his new relationship status, the question was asked, “what do you do when your ex moves on?”

Since just about everyone can relate to a heartbreak, we did a deep dive on how Hollywood celebs, or the girl next door should cope post-breakup when your ex finds a new girlfriend.

Here are the 5 tips I shared with Access Hollywood Live

1. Do a Digital Detox

Julie Spira - Access Hollywood

“The first tip is do what I call a digital detox. Even if you’ve said, ‘Okay, we’re going to stay friends when you break up,’ it’s really hard to just move into that friend zone. What happens is you start to become a stalker and you just can’t help yourself. So don’t do that. Block them and unfriend them on Facebook. You can always become friends again once the dust has settled and you both have moved on. Staring at other the other people at you and your sweetheart’s favorite restaurant that you used to go to for your anniversary is just something that is going to sting.”

2. Don’t Compare and Contrast

via GIPHY

“It’s so easy to fall into that trap of comparing yourself to the new girl. You may ask yourself, is she prettier? Does she have nicer clothes? Is she better in bed? Is she smarter? Is she sexier? You get into this trap, and it’s really bad because what happens is, your brain starts to trick you into thinking that comparing yourself to this person is natural. You need to your own individuality. You don’t really know that she’s good at anything other than being the next girl.”

3. Practice Self Love

via GIPHY

“Self-love really is number one. One of these tips that I use with the singles that I coach is if you’re going through a break-up, get dressed up, looked good, stand in front of your mirror and say, ‘You are the the prize,’ and repeat it, ‘You are the prize.’ Eventually, you will believe it. The more that you can love yourself and go out and do good things for yourself, like workout more, maybe lose that weight you want to, take up a yoga class, or take up a new hobby, the more you will become more dateable.”

4. Avoid the Rebound Relationship

via GIPHY

“We see more rebound relationships with men than with women. Women tend to hang out with their girlfriends and, of course, talk about their ex. Just because he might have moved on in a split second doesn’t mean that you need to do the same. I really feel that– having a replacement boyfriend immediately, can often backfire. It might not be a good fit for you, and then you’ve got to get over two break-ups.”

5. Get Out and Live Life!

Julie Spira - Access Hollywood

“I always say that take that covers off your head. Think about the books and magazines that might have been stacking up and start reading them. Maybe go under a palm tree and read a magazine, or if you actually once thought you might want to write a book, start penning that book and writing down your thoughts. Journal about your break-up because the more you read and write it, the more healing it is. Remember, there’s a reason that you broke up and that this person is now your ex. I always say, “Knock him off that pedestal right now.”

RELATED: Jay-Z and Beyonce – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

Why Does He Text Another Woman

In this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a female reader is uncomfortable with the text messages her boyfriend is sending and receiving from another woman. What would you do? Read our answer here.

Dear Julie,

My boyfriend of over a year texts a woman who lives in a different state constantly. She has feelings for him. I told him that it makes me feel uncomfortable. But he tells me that I’m insecure and that they work together.

Please help!

Rhonda

Dear Rhonda,

Thanks for your message and I’m so sorry to hear about this painful experience you’re going through with your boyfriend.

That would make any girl uncomfortable. If you’ve been together for over a year, I’m assuming you’re in a committed relationship.

Texting or chatting with a woman on social media when it makes you uncomfortable is a form of emotional cheating. He’s giving you reasons to feel insecure, even though she lives in another state. He may be getting a dopamine boost, or at least an ego boost every time he hears the chirp text message from her. 

If he said, “gee I’m sorry. I’ll stop doing that because I don’t want to hurt you,” I’d be happy to hear that.

RELATED: Gone Fishing, or Is it Over? 

Instead he wants to keep flirting with his digital girlfriend, who perhaps doesn’t even know you exist. I get it that it’s a great ego boost for him and it seems new and shiny to him, unattainable, and a bit of a fantasy relationship since she doesn’t live in town.

Here’s what I think you should do. Explain to him that you believe this texting is a form of emotional cheating and ask him why he feels the need to text her. Start sending him flirty texts so that need is fulfilled by you and perhaps he won’t feel the desire to text her. Then ask him to put the brakes on it and stop texting her out of respect for you. Ask him if he will let her know he’s involved with you and that he wants to focus his energies on your relationship.

Know that every man likes to look at women who are attractive and that’s normal. Creating this emotional bond over texts is crossing the line. He can’t have his girlfriend (you) and this girl on the side on his keyboard and lead her on. She probably doesn’t even know about you! Even if he isn’t interested in her romantically, if she made it clear she has feelings for him, this has potential to grow and could be harmful to your relationship.

RELATED: 20 Flirty Text Messages to Capture His Heart

Instead of demanding to see his phone to see the texts, just ask him if he will stop. If he won’t, ask him why this is important to him and find out what’s missing from your relationship so you can spice it up. Texts can lead to sexts and it’s damaging to a relationship. It can also become addictive.

Have a heart to heart talk with your guy before you call it quits, but if he won’t put your relationship at the top and stop these text exchanges with a woman who claims to have feelings for him, it may be time to call it quits.

We’re here to help you, so if you need dating coaching advice, check out our Irresistible Coaching programs.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox. 

What Do I Do If He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day?

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

In this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a single woman is feeling anxious because the guy she’s dating hasn’t asked her out yet for Valentine’s Day. Here’s her question and our answer.

Dear Julie,

I met this great guy online and we’ve gone out on five dates since the New Year. I really like him and we haven’t discussed dating exclusively yet, but I’ve seen him the past two Saturday nights, so I really think I’m becoming his girlfriend.

Should I be worried that he didn’t ask me out yet for Valentine’s Day? It’s next week, so what is he waiting for? Would it be wrong of me to bring it up first? Maybe he was focused on football, but that game is over and I really want to spend Valentine’s with him.

What should I say or do?

Corrine

Dear Corrine,

First of all, congratulations on meeting a great guy online. January is one of the busiest months for online dating and lots of singles are joining dating sites as part of their New Year’s resolutions list.

You didn’t mention if both of you still have ACTIVE dating profiles up or not. I have a feeling you probably do, as if you haven’t had the talk about exclusivity or Valentine’s, he might assume you’re dating other people and he might be doing the same.

Believe it or not, most guys don’t like Valentine’s Day. They think it’s overrated, expensive, and would rather stay home and watch TV. However the romantic and smart ones will know that if they don’t ask you out on the biggest romance day of the week, they’ll be in the dog house and might not get a chance to continue dating you after the 14th. Is this harsh? I think it’s more a matter of tradition.

READ MORE: Why Valentine’s Day for Women is Like the Super Bowl for Men

So if you have a dating profile that’s still online and you’d like to see this guy exclusively and hopefully for Valentine’s Day, I urge you NOT to log on.  He and his friends don’t need to see that you’re busy scouring the Internet for potential dates.  How would you feel after a great date with this new guy, if you noticed that he went online right away? Probably not great.

So my best advice is, if you don’t want to date others and really like this guy, then don’t. Take your profile down if you like, but don’t let him know that you did this.  You should do it for yourself, not because you think he has to do the same. He’ll probably notice it, but a man needs to make the decision to be exclusive based on how he feels when he’s with you. If your dates are fun and light and you’re a joy to be around, he’ll notice those red candy boxes everywhere and will probably want to do something with you for Valentine’s Day.

Towards the end of this week, let him know that you really are traditional and love sharing Valentine’s Day with the person you’re dating. Stop and LISTEN to what he says. If he starts to pull back or changes the subject, it might mean he has made other plans. The best thing you could do is not get upset with him. If he asks you out for the 13th or the 15th, reply with, “Oh, I was hoping I’d be your Valentine.”

READ MORE: 7 TIPS TO GET LUCKY IN LOVE ON VALENTINE’S DAY

You’ve only gone out on five dates and that’s a lot of pressure to put on a guy when a relationship is so new. Buy him a cute card, or better yet, there are so many fun cards on JibJab, the animated card site, so send him a humorous card; not something that says, “I love you,” and see how he responds.

The bottom line is, he knows it’s Valentine’s Day, but might not know how special that day is for you. Rather than having him spend a lot of money on a fancy restaurant, why not suggest collaborating on an in-room-dining experience, where each one of you brings or makes a different dish. It’s a great way to bond in a relationship without all of the pressure.

Do you have a question for Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Photo credit: Fotolia

7 Tips to Get Lucky in Love by Valentine’s

7 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine'sValentine’s is about one week away. Some singles are stressing big time about how to find a date for the most romantic day of the year. Others could care less and will hang out with friends or hide under the sheets alone.

If finding a date for Valentine’s is on your list, I have great news for you. With a little effort and the help of your mobile phone, you can get lucky and find a date by Valentine’s Day.

7 tips for singles to get lucky in love this Valentine’s Day

1. RSVP to all events and parties

Whether it’s a business mixer or speed dating event, go out, dress up, and wear that smile of yours. Check out some events on MeetUp or any singles events and don’t be shy.

2. Update your online dating profile

If your primary shot was from three years ago, it’s outdated. It’s time for a digital facelift to show off the new you. Post photos of a recent trip and caption them if you can. Find a favorite photo or two on Facebook or Instagram. If you got a new puppy add it to your profile, but don’t use it as a primary shot. Mobile dating app Tinder actually reorders your photos showing the best one first.

3. Download 3 mobile dating apps

Research shows that singles are using on average 3 mobile dating apps. They’re so easy to use and you can find a date in minutes, not days. A Pew research survey showed that the number of millennials using dating sites and apps has tripled in the last few years!

4. Be proactive and Upgrade During Peak Times

The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal. If you’re online, write to 5-10 people a day. Think of it like sending out 5-10 resumes a day if you’re looking for a job, only this is better. You could find the love of your life. Respond quickly and turn on those push notifications to find out when someone hot sends you a message!

Also, you can appear more frequently on sites and apps for just a few dollars.Did you know that OkCupid lets you know when it’s Rush Hour? Match has a Top Spot and Tinder has a Boost? All of them boost your profile to the top of the list in a search, where you can be viewed more than 10 times than normal. Yes, for less than the price of one cup of coffee, it’s worth a shot.

5. Check out your single friends on Facebook 

Have a digital crush? Check out his or her relationship status and if it it says “single,” go ahead and start flirting on Facebook chat. Plenty of couples have found love on the world’s largest social network, as can be seen on FacebookLoveStories.com.

6. Go to a restaurant or coffee shop with WIFI

Working from home? Why be alone when you can be out in public with your computer instead. Make sure to dress up and take walks to the restroom or pass by as many people as possible with a smile on your face. It will become your new office to work and flirt. Stop, stare, and smile.

7. Text an ex 

As a last resort, know that 20% of singles do text their former love on Valentine’s if they’re flying solo. Send a quick Happy Valentine’s message with an emoticon to your former flame. If you decide to do so, do it in the morning, not at night, as he or she might be on a Valentine’s date, or they might look at you as a late night booty call.

Remember, although Valentine’s Day is a big day for couples, the day after, February 15th, is Singles Awareness Day. Either way, love yourself first and love will come your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Looking for help with dating? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 
Photo credit: Fotolia

#MusicMonday Quote of the Day

Happy Music Monday. As we start a new week, it’s time to put the digital DJ hat on and share a musical quote from the bankd UB40 about love to warm your heart.

Music Monday

“Love is a thing, well, it’s kid of like quicksand: The more you are in it, the deeper you sink. And when it hits you, you’ve just got to fall.”

Don’t be afraid of falling into quicksand. Open your heart. It isn’t a lifetime sentence, but could be a lifetime of happiness coming your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on Twitter and Instagram

Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles programs will help you find your dream date and read our many client testimonials.

What to Do if Your Boss Sees Your Dating Profile

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowIt’s bound to happen, you nervously put up an online dating profile with the hope of finding someone special to date, and suddenly it’s spotted by your boss, your neighbor, parents of friends of your kids, co-workers and more.

As a dating expert and coach, I’ve seen this happen to many of you. In my relationship column on Bikini, a female reader asked this question.

Q: I caught my boss checking me out on a dating website? I’m not sure if I should be excited or disturbed

A: Of course your boss is on a dating site or a mobile app. So are you and over 50 million other singles, including people who don’t know about your relationship status. It does feel like a creepy boundary issue, doesn’t it?  Chances are your boss was scrolling through hundreds of profiles photos in your geographic area and your familiar face popped up on the screen or on his mobile phone, so it was natural to take a peek at your profile.

So many sites allow you to see who has viewed your profile, so this isn’t unusual. Before you start comparing bad dates with your superior, my best advice is to ignore it. Then take matters into your own hands and block your boss from viewing your profile. I call it digital housekeeping. This way he or she won’t appear in your search and you won’t appear in theirs.

Both of you now know you’re on the same dating site and it could be just as uncomfortable for him or her as well. If your boss happens to mention viewing your profile, don’t have a meltdown. Just say, you’re single and dating and can’t think of a better way to meet someone outside of work than by joining an online dating site and mobile dating apps.

At some point, you’ll meet an amazing guy and will be taking your profile down anyway.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Do you have a question for online dating expert Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

SIGN UP for our FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for quotes about love and romance.

Next Page »