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Ghosted for the First Time

Was she Ghosted?Dear Julie,

I think I got ghosted. I met a great guy at a family wedding. He approached me we spoke for a few hours he asked me out, but I couldn’t go the next day so he asks me for my number.

The twist here is he lives in another state and after he went back next day he disappeared for a week after telling me he wants to come back next month .

I text him and he seems very happy.  He calls, we talk for an hour or so, and he tells me he wants to move to my state. Then he vanishes and doesn’t answer my texts.

I give about a week and a half and write, “hey how r u” and he responds normally and everything seemed to be OK. We text a few weeks later, then once again he disappears.

Related: Confused: Is He Ghosting?

Apparently he told his family that I’m great and cute and have a good personality, but we live far away and he is not ready for a relationship that’s long distance. Being the great over thinker I am, I text him and ask if he can call so we can talk.

He calls and says he thought everything was ok.  Really? He said he might come back after he finishes school in a few months. I am honestly really annoyed that he promised me all those things and then backs out and no contact. What really bothers me is that I still think about it, and wonder, will he ever come back??

Side note there was family involvement so maybe he got scared of that. because his mom said he wanted to pursue the relationship, but not now.  Then she speaks to him again and he says he doesn’t want to think about anyone right now and is concentrating on school.

First the family was in support of our relationship. Now they’re not. What should I do?

Ghosted.

Was she Ghosted?

Dear Ghosted,

As a dating expert, I can tell you, I don’t think you were really ghosted by this guy. You actually weren’t in a relationship. Sure, you clicked at a wedding and had fun. Yes, his family thought you were great and gave a thumbs up. But in reality, he doesn’t live near you and he needs to finish concentrating on school and his education.

He wasn’t your boyfriend who disappeared. He was an out-of-town guy that you connected with at a wedding, which is fun-filled and filled with love.

Related: Dating Labels Why Won’t He Call Me His Girlfriend?

He never promised to be your boyfriend and you had a casual texting relationship His signs make it clear that he isn’t interested in a relationship. By leading you on and continuing to text you, he will give you mixed messages that you’re his girlfriend, which unfortunately you’re not.

Between school and distance, he doesn’t have time for you. I know you wish this was more of a relationship, but it’s not.

My best advice to you is to consider him an acquaintance. Try to find someone you can connect with that lives closer to you and truly wants to have a relationship.

When someone ghosts, they’re in a relationship and then poof, disappear. So if you want to be friends, send a friendly text every few weeks. This is a no-pressure way to stay in touch, without havin ghim feel obligated to be in a relationship he can’t sustain.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Do you have a question for Online Dating Expert Julie Spira? Send them here

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt

The Perils of Cyber-Dating

 

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, newly revised for 2016.

Holiday Gifts for a New Relationship

Gift GivingIt’s Christmas week and the stores will be packed with people picking up last minute gifts.

As a dating expert and coach, I know that for singles and those in new relationships, the holidays are filled with both joy and anxiety. It’s also peak time for online dating,  so don’t be surprised if your inbox starts to fill up with new suitors.

It’s also a time for where couples breakup, as the stress of being with someone you know you can’t go the distance with makes it difficult to be together for the holidays, especially if you’ll be with his or her family. We wrote about the famous Facebook Breakup Chart a few years back, where David McClandess showed that the period between December 12-24th was one of the peak seasons for breaking up.

So what should you do about buying him or her a gift for the holidays?

Let’s talk about holiday gift giving.

Could it be that your date doesn’t want to splurge on a fancy holiday gift if you’re in a new relationship, or if times are tough on his or her wallet? What should he or she do?

If you’ve just started to date someone you’ve met online and have only had a few dates, you may wonder if should you buy him or her a lavish gift, or any gift at all. What if you’re dating multiple people? Do you need to buy everyone a gift?

While the easiest solution would be to leave town for the holidays, or even put your head under the covers, know that you’re not alone with the gift giving dilemma.

Jenna wrote to me that that she’s been dating someone for four weeks, but both of them still have active online dating profiles. Although she believes they’re exclusive, they haven’t had the talk, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s an “implied exclusive” relationship and they might not be on the same page.

Jenna would like to give her new beau a holiday gift during one of their holiday dates. However, the subject of exchanging gifts has never come up in conversation.  She’s hinted about things she’d like in her stocking, but her new guy hasn’t asked her what she’d like for the holidays or made specific plans for Christmas or Christmas Eve just yet.

Jenna wonders if it’s too soon to be exchanging gifts and what she should do.

My take on the situation, is that you should always give a gift, without expecting one in return. If she sees that he loves filling in the blanks in the New York Times crossword puzzles, why not go to a bookstore or order a large puzzle book from Amazon? The cost is less than $20 and it will show the person you’re dating that you’re paying attention to things that interest him. It the thought that matters.

My boyfriend is a winemaker. He grew and nurtured his own grapes and bottled his own wine, complete with designing the wine labels. It’s something he enjoys and is proud of. For Father’s Day and his birthday, I gave him a wine stopper, one with a globe of the world on it to memorialize the trips we’ve gone on, and another with a golf ball on it, as he loves to play golf.  These cherished pieces showed him that I noticed what his passions were. Wine and golf.  Simple, but perfect.

Some new couples will take charge and ask each other what they’d like for the holidays. If this happens, then know that you’ll be gift shopping. For a new relationship, there’s nothing wrong with putting a budget on holiday gift giving, or suggesting going to a sporting event or concert together to celebrate an event together as a couple.

READ: THIS IS THE TOP GIFT FOR SINGLES

The worst thing you can do is to lavish your date with an expensive gift early on in the relationship. It may make him or her run the other way, or feel guilty that they haven’t reciprocated.

So just how appropriate would it be to give her a diamond watch or a new puppy?

Unless you’re in a serious relationship, where you have a history of buying each other a birthday present or other special gifts, don’t assume you’ll be receiving a gift, nor should you ever feel obligated to buy your date a gift. It’s impossible to ignore the holidays while listening to the Christmas songs on the radio and in the stores, but it’s the thought that counts.

Some of my favorite thoughtful gifts, which won’t break the bank include:

  • iTunes song of your date’s favorite band
  • Gift certificate for a movie and dinner
  • Gift certificate for a massage
  • A golf lesson
  • An accessory or charger for his or her iPhone/iPad
  • A gift certificate for a handyman for the day (for her)
  • A framed photo of the two of you
  • An animated card starring you! Shop JibJab!The worst thing you can do when you give your date a gift, is to ask him or her what they were planning on getting you, if it appears they aren’t reciprocating. You’ll make him or her feel uncomfortable about not taking the time to buy you a present, or they’ll feel obligated to pick up a gift and resentment could build up. It’s just too much pressure for a new relationship.

    Remember, the best gift you can give each other is time spent together creating new memories. A hug and a kiss under the mistletoe is priceless. Add a card and you have a recipe for a wonderful time together this holiday season.

    Julie Spira is an online dating and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, visit to sign up for the Weekly Flirt and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

How to Flirt on Instagram

Instagram heartI’ve always said that patience is a virtue and the best things in life are worth waiting for.

If you think that swiping left and right on mobile dating apps is the quickest way to snag a date, I encourage you to cast a wider net.

When it comes to digital dating or flirting on a variety of social networking apps such as SnapChat, Twitter, Instagram or Facebook, the need to respond quickly takes over. I say, take a big digital breath and follow these steps to do it right.

In a recent interview for the magazine SOS Solteiros in Brazil, I shared some of my favorite flirting tips for dating on Instagram.

  1. Take it Slow. There’s a fine digital balance between being social media friendly, or coming across as a stalker. Start out by following your digital crush’s feed on Instagram and wait a few days before you start clicking on the heart to like his or her updates. Resist the urge to obsess over their Instagram page and instead, add locations to your posts on Instagram to enhance your own posts.
  2. Search for Favorite Hashtags. If you’re a basketball fan, search for the hashtag of #basketball and start following people who post frequently on that subject. If you’re a music lover, make sure your posts have the hashtag of #music and look for others who are passionate about music, concerts, or musical instruments.
  3. Turn on Post Notifications. If you want to make sure to find out when your digital crush posts a new photo on instagram, you can easily be notified. To do so, click on their profile. Click on the three dots on the upper right hand corner of their profile. In the drop down, click on “Turn on Post Notifications.” Boom. You no longer have to stalk their profile to see what they’ve been up to.
  4. Comment every few days. Once you have started following someone you’d like to get to know better, start commenting on their posts. Take it a step further and make sure to mention their Instagram handle in your comment. For example type, What a great quote @JulieSpira! This way the person will get notified that they’ve been mentioned by you and can respond.
  5. Use Emoticons and Emojis. They are fun and flirty and belong in your comments. Hearts, smiley faces, musical notes, apple pie.  You get it. Go less on the word count and ramp up those cute icons to show you indeed are a digital flirt.
  6. Start Chatting Privately. Since Instagram doesn’t let you chat privately, head over to Facebook and send a friend request, but only after you’ve spent time commenting on each other’s posts. If your advances are one-sided, and they aren’t following you back, don’t send a friend request, as you might appear like a stalker. If you have friends in common on Facebook, there’s a greater chance your new crush will accept your request.

Are you flirting and finding love on Instagram? We’d love to hear your stories.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For digital hand-holding, check out Irresistible Profiles and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Did You Know It’s Cuffing Season?

Autumn HeartHello November!

It’s starting to get chilly outside and singles and couples alike are starting to think about bundling up with someone special for the holidays. Just yesterday, we had rain in Los Angeles, which is unusual and I bundled up with my ski parka as the temperatures dipped.

In case you haven’t heard of it, it’s officially ‘Cuffing Season.’ You might wonder what exactly ‘Cuffing Season’ is, so here’s the scoop.

What is Cuffing Season?

Cuffing season starts in the fall when the weather starts to change, kids go back to school, and the leaves start to fall on the ground. Suddenly you’ll notice friends of yours who claim to be forever single appearing at a party with a significant other or new boyfriend or girlfriend. Others will flock to online dating sites to hope to connect with someone for the holidays. To be honest here, it’s a busy time for singles looking for love online as they imagine kissing under the mistletoe with someone special or toasting a glass of bubbly on New Year’s.

In thinking back to my past, I can honestly say that several of my relationships started in the fall and solidified in November to being exclusive. Did they know it was ‘Cuffing Season?’ Probably not.

So my friends and tweethearts, as a dating and relationship expert and coach, I encourage you to take the covers off your head, go out with a big smile on your face and be approachable, as it really can be an exciting time for love. Sipping hot toddies or hot chocolate by the fireplace is a visual you just might want to be a participant in. Party invites from business networking events are starting to pile in, so RSVP and fill up your date card.

READ: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO CUFFING SEASON

It’s time to embrace the month we are to be the most thankful for with Thanksgiving around the corner. Time is speeding fast and there are plenty of singles that will be excited to have you in their life.

If you’re in a toxic relationship or one that makes you anxious or are walking on eggshells, it’s time to get out. Staying in a bad relationship for the holidays just prevents you from finding someone more compatible to create new memories with. The possibilities are endless!

If you need any hand holding, check out our Irresistible Profiles packages to help speed up your search.

Happy Cuffing Season.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
~Julie and the Cyber-Dating Expert Team

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She has been helping singles find love on the Internet for over 20 years. Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

LIVE Event: Mastering the Dating Relationship Puzzle

Julie Spira - Dr. Gary Penn

It’s an honor and joy to announce that Dr. Gary Penn has invited me, along with Shannon Colleary to his LIVE PODCAST event in Los Angeles on Wednesday, October 21, 2015.

If you’re struggling to find a great relationship or are trying to get out of a dead-end one, this event is for you.

For only $25 you’ll receive:

Wine, nibbles and a great interactive coaching workshop with Dr. Penn and his guests: Life Coach Shannon Colleary and myself, Julie Spira, America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker!

BUY TICKETS HERE

We’ll be fielding audience questions, (anonymously, due to the podcast) which will serve as “mini” sessions for the entire group.

Dr. Penn has certainly walked the walk. He has learned a great deal in his quest to find a loving and connecting relationship. He knows how difficult it is to find “the one”.  He is committed to increasing your odds!

He brings not only his clinical knowledge to this workshop, but also his personal experience to help you work on the self-awareness and emotional availability necessary to find and sustain a loving, healthy relationship.

He’ll help you achieve a state of psychological awareness while teaching you his unique communication and dating skills.

BUY TICKETS HERE:

Life Coach Shannon Colleary, best known for her “Asshat Recovery Program” articles on The Huffington Post, is an expert in helping her clients break their addiction to toxic relationships.
Like Dr. Penn, Shannon has walked-the-walk to recovery, ending her last toxic relationship by using steps inspired by the 12-step programs. After which, Shannon attracted a loving, stable, funny man she’s been married to for fifteen years.

And now she’s helping her clients to do the same thing.

Plus, I’ll be there live and on the podcast as well.

Here’s a bio for me:

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and is a frequent guest in the media, having appeared in over 650 news stories on the intersection of love and technology. She was named the “Pioneer of Online Dating” by Cosmo and was listed in the Top 10 Dating Advice Columnists to Follow on Twitter.” Her Irresistible Profiles programs have helped millions of singles speed up their search to find love online. Julie will be discussing the 7 Secrets to Finding Love Online and will help demystify the cryptic text messages that women and men send to each other.

Here are some results you can expect from this 3-hour workshop:

  • You’ll discover why you’re attracted to certain types of people; i.e. emotionally troubled, unavailable people, or people who want to quickly fall in “love” and fuse with you.
  • You’ll leave with actionable tasks to break your addiction to a toxic relationship, if you’re in one.
  • You’ll have a new skill set to approach dating.
  • You will have all the secrets of how to approach online dating.

You’ll have clarity about what you really want and need and how to appropriately convey that when dating someone new.

BUY TICKETS HERE

Who this workshop is for:People who are motivated to make a change in their lives with this kind of attitude:

  • “Enough is enough! Tomorrow doesn’t have to be like today. I can change!”
  • “I can take control of my life instead of constantly feeling disappointed and hopeless!”
  • “I can identify my psychological blind spots and learn new and highly functional ways of connecting.”

“It’s time for me to stand tall and move forward with confidence and optimism.”

Who this workshop isn’t for:

  • People who are invested in staying in the victim role.
  • People who aren’t willing to take responsibility for their choices and their life.
  • People who blame others for their hopelessness and misery.
  • People who want to continually live in the past, which keeps them from fulfillment in the present.

That Bat time and Bat channel again? Wednesday Oct. 21st from 7-10 p.m.
The Roc Center, 607 Arizona Ave. Santa Monica, Ca. Between 6th and 7th street, one-block north of Santa Monica Blvd. (310) 450-ROCK (7625).

BUY TICKETS HERE

FAQ:
How big is this event?
We can only take 90 people.
Can men come too?
Yes, this is a co-ed event.
Do I have to talk?
We would suggest that you ask all of your burning questions. However you’re not obligated to speak. You can absolutely learn a lot just by listening to what other people ask and the responses they receive.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.

Has the Tinder Hookup Culture Ruined Romance?

Mobile PhoneIn the September issue of Vanity Fair, Nancy Jo Sales wrote an in -depth piece called, Tinder and the Dawn of “Dating Apocalypse.” It’s an eye-opener and validation of a woman’s worst fear. The guys are swiping right to hook up and it’s all just a game.

In the story, it’s reported that 100 million people are using mobile apps, with about 50 million on Tinder. The Tinder blog reports 25 million matches a day. The numbers are mind-boggling and enormous.

The VF story is really about sex and hookups. Mobile apps just happen to ramp up the numbers in a digital second, and singles in their 20s are buying into the hooking up program, I believe which ruins their chance at romance.

READ: Swipe Regret on Tinder?

We’re living in a virtual world of swiping left and swiping right, with many instantly determining if you’re hot or not. But even if you’re not considered hot, many just keep swiping right, as it’s just a numbers game when it comes to mobile dating. Tinder and other apps provide the tools to hook up and have sex with multiple partners a day, or not.

Many women claim they want romance and a long-term relationship, but they seem to feel that sending photos of their private parts and receiving dick photos is a part of the digital courtship process and join the program.

The problem is, some women are hooking up with hopes to change the mindset of the guy they’ve just slept with. Maybe they’ll think of them as marriage or relationship material, or maybe they’ll be swiping right while you’re putting your clothes back on.

As one who has embraced online dating for over 20 years as an early adopter of Internet dating, and one who coaches and helps singles find serious relationships in the digital age, I have mixed feelings about Tinder. I’m thrilled that it’s given credibility to online and mobile dating and gives you a chance to cast a wider net to find a date or a mate.

If you say you’re using Tinder to your friends, one may ask you why you’re on a hookup app if you’re looking for love. But who isn’t using Tinder? Celebrities such as Hillary Duff, Katy Perry, and Ed Sheeran on Tinder, with Sheeran receiving the first celebrity verified profile on the mobile app. They join the Tinder bandwagon because they’re single and it’s easy to use and is fun. After all, after each swipe, you’re prompted with a message to “Keep playing?”

So we continue to swipe with the hopes of finding a match worthy of introducing to your friends and family, but weeding out those who want to hookup and those who want love is confusing.

We hope there’s truth-in-advertising, but men and women can just say in their profiles that they’re looking for a serious relationship, not serial dating. However those same people could be already in a “committed” relationship, while looking for Plan B when the romance starts to fade and the monotony kicks in. Research from Global WebIndex states that 62% of Tinder users are actually in a relationship. So don’t be surprised if a friend sees your steady-sweetie’s active profile on Tinder.

Read: Why Mobile Dating Apps and Tinder are So Hot

So is romance dead or alive on your mobile phone? According to the Vanity Fair piece, it’s looking grim for 20s in New York who find swiping right to be an efficient and inexpensive way to shag a few girls a day or a week, but I disagree.

I encourage the women who are really looking for a relationship to ignore the “dick pics” and take your time to weed out the creepers who want to choke you within 20 minutes. Think about the approach you took while dating with traditional online dating sites or meeting through friends and combine it with the efficiency of mobile dating apps. Keep your clothes on in your profile photos, state your intentions and swipe left until you find someone worthy of having a chat with. While it’s efficient to find someone IRL in seconds, it doesn’t mean you have to meet someone immediately or rush into casual sex if it’s not your goal.

It takes time to get to know someone, whether you meet in a bar, through friends, or on Tinder. Ask a lot of questions before getting involved. But then again, if you’re in it for a night of fun, it’s a piece of digital cake to accomplish that.

To the Tinderellas out there, I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. Xo

Read more to learn how Swiping Right can help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, and as a Digital Matchmaker she’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Photo credit: Fotolia

Boomers and Seniors Flock to Mobile Dating Apps

Julie Spira Huff Post LiveDon’t be surprised if you see your grandma swiping right on Tinder or other mobile dating apps.

In a recent segment on Huff Post Live, we talked about singles 50+ using mobile dating apps to find love, companionship and more.

In a video clip, I stated:

“Singles over 50 have embraced mobile dating apps. They’ve seen their children, friends and neighbors find love online and if they find themselves alone due to the loss of a spouse, loss of a partner, through death or divorce, the loss of a spouse through death or divorce, it’s a terrific way to build your self esteem and fill your date card.

We know the need for companionship is so, so strong, especially as we age. If you’re finding yourself alone, grab your mobile phones and start swiping right so you can find your one in 40 million.”

 

What the post-50 crowd really thinks of dating apps on Huff Post Live in this full video segment.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. To learn how to master mobile dating apps, check out our Swiping Right program and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.

#DateChat With Guest Host @StephanSpeaks

Date Chat with Stephan Speaks

Join us for another fun and exciting #DateChat on Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 5p/PT, 8p/ET as we tackle the subject of digital cheating and relationships. Is flirting on Facebook or Twitter considered emotional cheating?

Just what is emotional cheating and how can you use social media to enhance your relationship without crossing the line?

READ: I saw his text messages. Is he cheating or is it over?

This week our guest host is my friend Stephan Lobossiere, a man who’s on a mission to make relationships happier and more fulfilling. Make sure you follow him on Twitter @StephanSpeaks before #DateChat begins.

Stephan is a certified relationship coach, speaker and author. He’ll be giving away copies of his book, God Where is my Boaz? to two lucky #DateChat participants.

Stephan seizes every opportunity to help both men and women overcome the challenges that hinder their relationships. From understanding the opposite sex, to navigating the paths and avoiding the pitfalls of relationships and self-growth, Stephan’s relationship advice and insight helps countless individuals achieve an authentically amazing life. Stephan empowers millions to take charge of the difficult situations standing in the way of the life and love they seek and to make impactful changes on a daily basis and we’re thrilled to have his input on this week’s #DateChat.

With an international following of singles and couples alike, the name Stephan Labossiere is synonymous with breaking down relationship barriers, pushing past common facades, and exposing the truth. It is this understanding of REAL relationships that he brings to everyone he encounters.

Stephan’s a busy guy and we’re thrilled to have one hour of his time on #DateChat on February 26, 2015 at 5p/PT, 8p/ET. Make sure to tell your friends!

READ: Is flirting on Facebook or Twitter Considered Cheating?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

 

 

Peril of the Week – The Concert Date

Peril of the Week - Cyber Dating ExpertSometimes it’s great to be impulsive and go on a last minute date, but in the case of this female dater, she would have been better off if she had gone with a friend or knew her date better before their first concert date.

Wondering what happened? Read the latest entry to the Peril of the Week and find out why this date went south.

This past week, I had an amazing opportunity to see one of the world’s most iconic musicians, Stevie Wonder in concert. But I needed someone to go with. On a whim, I mentioned this to someone I was chatting with on OK Cupid.  He jumped at the chance to go.

I did have hesitations on whether or not to go to a concert on a first date but given the superstar playing, I simply assumed there would be enough going on to make even the most awkward date, ok.

I was wrong.

After arriving an hour late, my date suggested I drive to the venue, and could we stop for beers in advance.  While I don’t drink, I do understand the importance of the pre-party so I obliged.

Unfortunately, my date decided this would be a great time to down several 20 oz. beers, and this was all before he pulled out the 5th of generic whiskey to wash it down.  At this point, he shared with me that he had just started drinking again this year and we hadn’t even gone into the concert yet.

Once inside the venue, my date was determined to get us backstage.

If you know me, you know how much I love this. All you have to do is figure out where the easiest way is to get on the floor and head that way.  Right?

No. Not for my date. Perhaps it was the alcohol at this point, but let’s just label this endeavor a mistake.

We did find better seats though, maybe not the floor, but certainly better than our last row tickets.  But this was not enough for my date and the mood was set for the concert and the mood was not fun.

Imagine being seated next to someone exceptionally hyper, very buzzed and wanting more than what we have.  It was not fun…so not fun that half way through the show, I suggested we leave.

I still can’t believe that a 47-year old man chugged three 20 oz. beers and then pulled out a flask of Old Grandad before walking into a concert for a first date.

Do you have a story for the Peril of the Week?

Submit Your Online Dating Stories

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter, and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

Photo credit: Fotolia

Cyber Love Story – Lyft Lovebirds

Lyft Love BirdsMobile apps for transportation have caused a huge paradigm shift in the way people are using transportation to airports or just on a party night. With New Year’s Eve, using your mobile app for companies such as Uber, Lyft or Sidecar will help you safely get to your destination.

But what if these mobile apps can actually help you find love from the comfort of one of their cars?

Meet Camille Bates and Ian Osborne, both who are Lyft drivers in San Francisco.

Last New Year’s Eve, Camille was very sad after a holiday season filled with strife. She had ended her relationship with her boyfriend after a year of being together and was feeling down in the dumps. The last thing she wanted to do was to go to a New Year’s party and pretend to be happy. So instead of accepting a party invitation, the social-introvert decided her plan for the evening would be to drive all night to get party goers safely to their destinations.

“I wanted to live vicariously through other peoples’ happiness,” said Bates. “I brought along party favors including glow in the dark wristbands and snacks and was having fun giving out things to my passengers.”

At around 9pm, Camille accepted a ride request from a gentleman named Ian. Coincidentally, Ian was also a Lyft driver on occasion.

Camille had made a New Year’s resolution to follow her intuition and she figured he’d already been background checked by Lyft, so she agreed to join them. As Ian entered the car with his buddies, he instructed her to take them to a house party in the Marina. Ian was sitting in the front of the car next to Camille and his friends were in the back seat. Her passengers were singing songs loudly, and after Camille asked them about the party they would be attending, Ian casually asked Camille if she wanted to join them.

While at the party, Ian’s friends decided to leave to attend another bash, leaving Ian and Camille to themselves at the original party. A few hours and glasses of champagne later, the two headed up to the party host’s roof deck to toast in the New Year. As the clock struck midnight, they shared their first kiss. As they looked over the beach on the Embarcadero in San Francisco, Camille reflected to a month earlier where she was gazing at the same beach when a shooting star appeared. Her wish was to find her soul mate.

Nine magical months later, Ian asked Camille to marry him and they will be getting married in the summer of 2016.

You never know who you’ll meet while using your mobile apps, or how a “pickup” will turn out.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace in 2015, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and is the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie helps singles find love in the digital age. For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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