With Valentine’s Day just a week away, I sat down with ABC-7’s Coleen Sullivan and Ellen Leyva with a Valentine’s Survival Guide to get you to and through the most romantic day of the year.
Can you find love online in time for Valentine’s Day?
I say yes! With the convenience of your mobile phone, we’ll have you chatting and dating in a digital split second.
Here are 10 Tips to Help You Survive Valentine’s Day With a Hug and a Smile
- Sign up for a Mobile Dating App – Use your Facebook photos to create a new profile and say “love is in the air.” Have a friend or a dating coach like myself help you with your profile.
- Become a serial dater – This is the time I give you permission to date up a storm. Schedule one date a day until Valentine’s Day. Double-down and schedule two dates a day, where one will surely rise to the top and be worthy of a second date.
- Use Premium Features – Match shows you peak times, where their Top Spot feature will show your profile to get the most visibility for just a few hours. OkCupid’s Boost feature will do the same for 15 minutes.
- Give your date a card – A hand signed card or a love note will warm his or her heart for all dating stages.
- Don’t forget Flowers – Two billion dollars will be spent on Valentine’s Day flowers this year. Bring one long-stemmed rose or a dozen tulips to have the same effect, while not breaking the bank.
- Say ‘I Love You’ – If you’re relationship is moving forward, there’s no better time to profess your love than on Valentine’s Day.
- Choose In-Room Dining or Cook a Meal Together – If you’ve waited too long to make a reservation at his or her favorite place, pick up some prepared meals at the grocery store, or ingredients for a spicy romantic dinner. Remember to bring candles.
- The gift of time – Valentine’s Day is about spending quality time together, and there’s not better gift than just being together.
- Valentine’s Breakups – It’s not a great idea, but if your relationship has been sliding downhill since the past holiday season, have a talk with your significant other, sooner rather than later. Valentine’s Day can be filled with pressure, so be kind about it and if you’re going to call it quits, do so in person, and not on the phone, email, or in a text message.
- Singles Awareness Day is on February 15th – If you’re not in the mood to find a Valentine and hate the holiday, there’s no need to fret. The day after will be a holiday to celebrate your single status.
Don’t let the pressure get to you about Valentine’s Day. Some people are still paying off their credit cards from December gift giving. A study shows that 54% plan to spend less than $100 and only 10% of singles spend over $250 on Valentine’s Day.
A survey from OneHourTranslation.com of over 4000 people around the world, showed that 31% plan to purchase their gifts online this year, so there’s still time to send something romantic to your Valentine or digital crush.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and is an award-winning dating coach who’s been helping singles on finding love online for over 24 years.
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Should singles change their zip codes while looking for love online, or even take it further by moving to a more desirable state in the country?
A new study from WalletHub actually ranks all 50 states to determine the best and worst places for single daters.
The list breaks it down further into four categories.
- Overall Rank
- Dating Opportunities
- Dating Economics
- Romance & Fun
Digging deeper, the study shows the best states for online dating are:
- New Hampshire
The worst states for online dating are:
- New Mexico
- West Virginia
If you’re attached to your mobile phone and find yourself swiping left and right on mobile dating apps, the study shows a different digital picture.
The best states for mobile dating apps are:
- New Jersey
The worst states for mobile dating opportunities are:
- West Virginia
Overall, California ranks as number one on the list. Perhaps the sunshine, Rose Bowl, and Disneyland contributed to that score. Just behind California is Florida, with New York coming in at number three.
Arkansas ranked at the bottom of the list as the worst place for singles.
This list shows the top 10 ranked states in the country.
Is your state on this list?
This map below, highlights each state to see where they rank.
Click on your state to find out the overall rank, and think about casting a wider net while looking for love online.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.
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Last year, I believe Donald Trump hijacked Valentine’s Day.
This year, I’m relieved love is back atop the dating totem pole.
In 2017, with the Inauguration Day and Valentine’s Day less than a month apart, the results of the Electoral College vote permeated the bedroom, as well as surfaced in heated rants on social media, dividing friendships and romantic partners.
As a dating coach and love expert, the news media mostly wanted to talk to me about politics over love.
To say love got kicked to the curb by Donald Trump last year is an understatement, but our country was hurting, and relationships suffered.
I spend my days coaching singles and hearing about their attitudes on politics and dating.
I’m happy to report I’ve noticed a shift since the new year where singles have been less interested in mentioning politics on their profiles in 2018.
In a previous Match Singles in America Survey from 2016, the dating site found 91% of singles had a better chance of getting to a second date if they mentioned politics on the first date.
With mobile dating profiles filled with text including, ‘Swipe left if you believe in all things Trump,’ to ‘Swipe Right if you think Trump is making America Great Again,’ the sentiments were strong with politics becoming one of the top deal-breakers for singles.
I spoke with Angela Hart, political writer for the Sacramento Bee on the effects of politics and love. Her piece, How Donald Trump is Killing Romance drew harsh criticism from Sean Hannity, who was apparently stunned that singles didn’t want to date a Trump supporter during one of his radio shows.
I even posted my heartfelt and emotional essays, Can True Love Endure Donald Trump and Love and Loss in the Age of Trump, where I painfully expressed how even the best relationships were getting tested due to conflicting political attitudes and views, including mine.
Now, I’m pleased to share the Match Singles in America Survey, of dating habits from 2017, just released for the 2018 Valentine’s season.
The survey shows things have lightened up for daters in the divisive political arena we’ve been living in.
In a section of the survey titled, “The Trump Effect” the Match results showed that singles put love first, ahead of our combative political climate.
Single Daters Will Now Date Across Party Lines
Match’s report showed that an overwhelming majority of singles (72%) would be willing to cross party lines with their date, with only 10% believing dating a Republican is a deal breaker and 5% saying they wouldn’t date a Democrat.
The survey, released just two days after Trump’s State of the Union address, shows singles are willing to be open to a different political point of view, with 45% saying they would try to understand the other’s perspective.
While politics was such a hot dating topic during the election year, 26% of singles in the survey said they’d change the subject if it came up on a date.
Does this mean the topic of politics is off the table for singles? Not at all. In the survey, 54% of singles think it’s important to find out their date’s political views, but the days of walking out on a date are gone, with only 5% admitting they would leave immediately.
It’s refreshing news for those seeking love and romance, and I couldn’t be happier.
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Dating Sunday, on January 7th, is the world’s largest digital love-fest. It’s also peak season for online dating, so get ready to join the party.
We’re busy at Cyber-Dating Expert with new singles joining the dating pool in what we call the “Trifecta of Dating.”
- Singles are putting love at the top of their New Year’s resolution list.
- More singles are joining the dating pool due to a pre and post-holiday break ups.
- The countdown clock to Valentine’s Day is ticking.
On ABC 7 Eyewitness News in Los Angeles, I spoke with Anabel Muñoz and John Gregory on why Match has proclaimed this Sunday as the most popular day of the year for online dating.
Watch the segment below.
What should you do to get ready for Dating Sunday?
The days leading up to Dating Sunday are a reflective time for many who are thinking about finding a meaningful relationship.
It’s also “peak season,” for online daters, which starts right after Christmas and goes through Valentine’s Day.
It’s a time for new beginnings, so take new photos, update last year’s profile, and turn on your push notifications to make the most of this season.
RELATED: 5 TIPS TO ROCK DATING SUNDAY
What is Dating Sunday?
Dating Sunday, or #DatingSunday is the day dating sites see the greatest surge of users. Match been analyzing data since the site was launched in 1995 and predicts 8:55pm/ET, 5:55pm/PT will be the busiest, with the most usage.
The site reports a 42% spike in new singles joining on this day. During peak season, 50 million messages are expected to be sent during peak season, resulting in 1 million dates!
It’s actually quite exciting to see singles become so positive about finding love online and joining mobile dating apps and sites at the start of the new year.
Other sites, such as Plenty of Fish, expect over 117,000 new signups on Dating Sunday, peaking at 9pm.
Remember, 1 in 3 relationships start online, so you’ll be in good company and we’re here to help you find love in 2018.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of online dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online and on mobile dating apps for almost 25 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.
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Are you flirting up a storm on Instagram?
Do you think finding love online means only swiping right on Tinder, Bumble or mobile apps?
Is your online dating profile a bit stale and your inbox on the empty side?
As a dating coach, I”m here to teach you how to flirt and find a date on social media, especially on Instagram.
1. Make sure your Instagram profile is public so people can follow you.
You’d be surprised how gun-shy some singles are about Instagram. They may post the most adorable selfies, but have their settings set to private, so unless you’re already connected as friends, you won’t be able to view or like their posts. If you’re single, toss out that fear of being in the public eye. It’s time to make your profile private and become strategic about what you post and who you decide to follow.
2. State in your bio that you’re single.
Being single isn’t a disease. It’s just the relationship status you have at the moment. Often there’s a digital crush who might think you’re taken, even if he or she sees a photo in the arms of your favorite cousin. By stating you’re single, you’ve just opened the love floodgates to millions of potential dates. Get ready for the ride!
RELATED: DATING IN AN INSTAGRAM WORLD
3. Follow back interesting people you think you’d like to date or at least be friends with.
If your follower count is starting to rise, don’t just look at the number. Instead look at who your latest follower is and if they seem interesting at all, follow them back. If they start posting creepy updates, you can always unfollow, or even block them if necessary.
4. Start “liking” their posts, slowly, so you won’t appear like a stalker.
Some singles like to use social media sites in a voyeuristic way. You peek, but you don’t click the like button. You never comment. You don’t even post, but you’re busy watching your followers’ feeds. It’s time to ramp up the flirting and take the digital plunge. Start slowly by liking someone’s posts, but don’t instantly like EVERYTHING this new crush posts or you may come across as needy, creepy, or even as a stalker!
5. Like your crush’s selfies.
Instagram is the perfect home for dating in a selfie world. The reason people post selfies is, well, because they want others to “like” or comment on how great they look or how cool they are. If your crush is looking for attention, don’t be shy. It’s time to click the like button, so you can show up in their feed and get on their digital radar.
6. Post to Instagram Stories
It’s no secret that the ‘Stories’ features which appear at the top of your Instagram feed get the most action. Caption your photos, add a video for more engagement and you’ll rank higher on the dating totem pole than solely posting updates.
7. Start commenting on their posts and add the heart emoticon.
Social networking works best when you remember to stay sociable. Slowly start commenting on his or her posts, but not all of them. If you see they are starting to comment on your posts, add in a heart emoticon to show you might want to be more than just friends.
8. Start using hashtags of #single #singlelife #love #relationships #dating so others can follow you.
Nothing’s a bigger turnoff than going on a digital campaign for someone who isn’t available. When you’re single, let your followers subtly know by using hashtags that define your relationship status. It’s bold, but not as needy as saying, “hey, I’m dateless this weekend and am bummed out about it.”
9. Post romantic quotes about love.
Feeling the love? Show it in your quotes. We post quotes with lyrics from love songs on Instagram, romantic quotes, and create some of our own to show we’re interested in love, big time. So should you.
10. Start searching for others with similar hashtags and start following them.
Being single is better when you’re in similar company. Do a search on Instagram for hashtags of other singles to see who’s feeling like they might want to couple up this ‘Cuffing Season.’
11. Reply to comments on your posts from someone you could have a crush on.
So you’re in a groove on Instagram and your crush is commenting on your updates and selfies. Now’s not the time to back peddle and get shy. Click the heart button to his or her comments and reply back with an emoticon or xo.
12. Become a Tindstagrammer and Start Direct Messaging.
Once you’ve developed an online rapport, it’s time to start those private chats. In an article on Mashable, writer Rachel Thompson claims that Instagram is the new Tinder – whether you want it to be or not. In addition, if the object of your digital affection ignored you or swiped left on Bumble or Tinder, now they have a public chance to write to you on Instagram. It can be viewed as tenacious or creepy, so if you don’t get a response, hold back from bombarding someone in Insta in multiple DMs.
13. Post Videos
Whether you’re at a concert or the farmer’s market, views to videos just get viewed more often on Facebook and Instagram. Better yet, share it to your Stories and let your crush hear your voice.
14. Swap Digits So You Can Meet IRL.
At the end of this love campaign, if you and your crush are in a groove on Instagram, it’s time to take the plunge and send a DM with your phone number to text each other and make plans to meet in person. After all, you won’t really know if you have offline chemistry until you meet IRL.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Instagram and Twitter
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Meet Rachel and Jason who fell in love on the Tinder mobile dating app. She shared how the two met with some heartwarming details about their courtship.
When Rachel first saw her now-husband on Tinder, she said, “I thought he was handsome! Initially, all I had to go off of were his pictures. One in particular, of him standing in a park in a navy hoodie got me. He was good looking but there was also something warm about his smile. To be honest, he seemed out of my league but I went for him anyway.”
How long did it take to meet “IRL” (in real life) and when did your courtship begin?
“Interestingly, we agreed to make plans almost right away as we had initial good banter back and forth and enough in common that I felt comfortable meeting…. but we scheduled the actual date a couple of weeks out. I had just moved to L.A. and wasn’t free for a couple of weeks for what would end up being my second Tinder date ever, and on his end (while I didn’t realize it at the time), he had been out on so many Tinder dates prior to meeting me that his expectations were not exceedingly high, so he was totally content to wait.”
When did you know or become exclusive (how long before?) and how did you know he/she was the one?
“I would say we went from 0-60 very quickly. Our first date was February 13th, 2014 we both went strategically radio silent on Valentine’s Day and then we made plans and went out on our second date on February 15th. I think we were formally exclusive within the first 2 months, although truthfully, I was probably a little slower than he was to get the memo.
I had literally just moved to L.A. from New York a month and a half prior, and was going out of my way to meet new people. And I was coming from Manhattan where people just didn’t seem to take dating quite as seriously as they do in L.A. My husband claims he had worked his way through half of Tinder before meeting me and was a little burnt out on the process and thus ready to be serious. It was so refreshing to actually meet a guy who was interested in getting to know me, spending time with me and who was not looking to play games.”
Rachel and Jason have been together for 3.5 years now. They’re married and have a 7-month-old baby girl.
Congratulations to Rachel and Jason, our Tinder Love Story.
Photo credit: Camilla Greenwell
Have you met someone special on Tinder or other mobile dating apps? We’d like to hear from you.
CONTACT US to share your story.
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After a bunch of beta testing, our friends at OkCupid have decided to remove the feature of who’s viewed your profile, thereby enabling all members to browse anonymously on their online dating site and mobile app.
Previously part of the A-List premium paid features, now all members can browse, um, stalk their favorite profiles while they proactively can now like and comment on photos.
In the OkCupid blog, they give the following reason for these changes.
Likes & Messages Are the Truest Indicators of Interest
“Likes and messages are much clearer indicators of someone’s interest. And in dating, clearer is better. If someone messages you, for example. That means that someone wants to get to know you better. Or someone likes you. We take that as a clear sign that they’re interested in you. If you’ve also liked that person, you’ll both be able to see that you’ve mutually liked each other — even if neither of you have A-List — and you’ll get that signal of interest directly”
How Invisible Browsing Now Works
Without being able to view who visited your profile, you won’t know until they tacke action and message or like your profile and/or photos.
The reason for this change, is the site is strongly encouraging you to message someone, rather than taking a peek and deciding later.
OkCupid claims that men who send a first message between 40 and 90 characters have the highest chances of a reply, and women who make the first move are 17% more likely to end up on a date than those who don’t.
So when we say word count and character count matters, it’s now backed up by their research.
Are you ready to put ten toes in and make the first move?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and had been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.
We had a blast at the BuzzFeed studios in Hollywood, where I critiqued two Tinder profiles of Millennial singles who hadn’t been on ANY dates!
Well we changed that in a digital heartbeat.
Watch as I made both Ryann and Kelly’s mobile dating profiles go from dating in a SWIPE LEFT world, to quickly moving to a SWIPE RIGHT world.
Find out EXACTLY what they were doing wrong and how a little attitude adjustment with some digital techniques online combined with offline dating advice turned their love game around.
I’m so very proud of the two of them. Thank you to Buzzfeed for selecting me as their dating coach and love expert.
Julie Spira is a mobile dating expert and is known as America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the creator of Mobile Dating BootCamp and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 23 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs. Julie is the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and was named “Best Dating Coach of the Year” in the 2017 iDate Awards.
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As the Presidential candidates continue to debate, our friends at Happn, one of our recommended mobile dating apps, have shared with us which candidate their single members would rather hang out with, either Donald Trump (R) or Hillary Clinton (D).
Happn polled 965 of its users about what activities they would prefer to do with Trump or Hillary. The six options are based Happn’s latest “See You There” feature, which gets users to meet IRL for fun activities.
Are you ready to jog with Hillary or go on a night on the town with the Donald? See a movie with the Clinton’s or grab a drink with Donald? Before you turn on the television to watch the debate, read the results of this poll.
Get ready for the digital drum roll!
1. Go out on the town: Trump slightly beat Clinton with 52% of the votes. The Donald also wins over swing state voters in this category with 65% over Clinton’s 35%. Fifty-five percent of millennials (20-29 year old respondents), 52% of both Gen Xers (40-49 year olds) and baby boomers (50-59 year olds) all want to party it up with Trump. But 66% of women choose Hillary along with 30-39 year olds, while 59% of men choose The Donald.
2. Go for a run: Happn users are clear about who they want to hit the pavement with. Hillary ran past Donald with 64% of the votes opting for her as their “running mate.” Trump gets the vote from 18-19 year olds (65%), while Hillary leads with women (82%) and just barely takes the swing state vote (51%).
3. Get a drink: Do single daters prefer sipping martinis with Hillary or a (non-alcoholic) daiquiri with Donald? This vote was split 50-50. Women favor Hillary (72%), while men (59%) are down for a drink with Donald. But in the battleground states, Happn voters raise their glasses to Donald at 58%.
4. Catch a movie: And the Oscar goes to… Hillary. She is the overall fan favorite (65%) and also takes home the award among women (84%) and in the swing states (55%). But Trump steals the show in a supporting role: 59% of 18-19 year olds would rather see a film with him.
5. Grab a bite to eat: Happn users want to break bread with Clinton (61%) in addition to 20-29 year olds (60%), 30-39 year olds (64%), 40-49 year olds (57%), 50-59 year olds (64%), men (54%) and women (78%). But Trump won’t end up dining alone with 18-19 year olds (53%) willing to grab a snack with the Republican candidate.
6. Go for a walk: When it comes time to slow it down and take a stroll, most Happn users choose Hillary as their “sole” mate. Nationally, 68% of users are interested in taking a walk with Hillary, as are 20-29 year olds (68%), 30-39 year olds (71%), 40-49 year olds (66%), 50-59 year olds (67%), women (83%), men (62%) and in the swing states (60%). But once again, 18-19 year olds are rallying behind Trump with 53% of the vote.
What about the Swing States?
Happn reports that the six swing states backing Trump include: Arizona, Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Nevada, and Virginia.
Meanwhile, Clinton gets the backing of the following six swing states: Colorado, Georgia, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Ohio, and Utah. Pennsylvania can’t decide who they’re putting in the White House – half want Hillary, half want Donald. (sigh).
Democrats or Republicans?
Forty-two percent of Happn respondents identified themselves as Democrats, with 16% saying they were Republicans. Forty-two percent have either no political affiliation or selected “Other” (i.e. Libertarian, Green, Constitution).
*This article published by Cyber-Dating Expert, LLC and it’s affiliates do not endorse any political candidate
Will you be watching the debate?
P.S. If you haven’t registered to vote, we urge you to do now right here.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over two decades on how to find love on the Internet and on mobile dating apps.
Recently we wrote about non-traditional dating apps that were used to find a date.
When Rachel Thompson from Mashable asked me to weigh in on the anxiety singles were having staring at their SO’s ‘last seen’ timestamp on WhatsApp, the popular messaging app purchased by Facebook for $19 million, I wasn’t surprised.
In her article, The One WhatsApp Feature Can Make or Break Relationships, Thompson took a deep dive into the activity and hearts of singles wondering if their boo was cheating on them, or to check on someone who might have ghosted them. Ouch, it’s a digital pain that stabs at our hearts.
Some singles were staying up until after 3am to see if the person they’ve been dating was awake texting someone. What they knew for sure, is they weren’t the recipient of sweet nothings late at night, or possibly at all that night.
Thompson even spoke to an attorney who was president of the Italian Association of Matrimonial Lawyers who said, “WhatsApp messages sent by cheating spouses play an integral role in 40% of Italian divorce cases citing adultery.”
I told Mashable, “the incessant checking of the ‘last seen’ timestamp should sound alarm bells in your relationship, regardless of what you find.”
“If you don’t have trust in your relationship both online and offline, then then it’s not a healthy relationship and you should think about calling it quits instead of staring at his or her ‘last seen’ timestamp.”
Where staring at the timestamp becomes a problem, is when someone stalks an ex, is unsure of their relationship status, and these days, more frequently if they’ve suddenly been ghosted and don’t know why.
This feature, where you can check up on someone to know there digital whereabouts, helps people stay connected, but It can become very obsessive and isn’t limited to just WhatsApp. Some are checking the last online status on online dating sites such as OkCupid or to see if they have a green button on Facebook chat.
This need to cyber stalk gets worse when the person you’ve been checking up on decides change their privacy status to hide their last seen feature, or even takes it a step further and blocks you. Ouch, again.
Still, the need to peek can become addictive and it can negatively affect a relationship when one jumps to a digital conclusion about the relationship status solely bases on online activity. It appears WhatsApp is now responsible for many breakups.
Are you gazing a little too often at the timestamp feature on WhatsApp?
Your comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet and mobile dating apps. Julie has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.