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Tinder vs. IRL: A Digital Peek at #OnTinderAtTinder

Tinder #OnTinderAtTinderRecently, media outlet Someecards asked their readers to submit what they look like in pictures on their Tinder profiles compared to what they look like while browsing Tinder. The striking difference between the two is hilarious as, according to Someecards, the tweets sent in “fully support the stereotype that women on dating sites are mostly cat lady shut-ins.”

The hashtag’s full meaning is “How I look on Tinder” vs. “How I Look at Tinder” to expose the truth behind the photos we select for the mobile dating profile, as compared to how perfect we try to look to guarantee a right swipe on dating apps.

#OnTinderAtTinder Tinder Viral Hashtag

#OnTinderAtTinder went viral and the submissions are still pouring in. We all put forth the best, most swipe-able versions of ourselves online, according to Bustle, and I don’t disagree.

Related: Boyfriend is on Tinder. Should I Break Up With Him

While you work hard to present the best possible pictures of yourself on social media, and especially on dating apps, it’s important to remain genuine and real. Since you can select the best 6 photos from Facebook, and now from your camera roll as well, we’ll leave the swiping frenzy up to you.

Posting any photos online, whether it be on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or even Tinder, you should take the extra care to look your best. From choosing the right angle and proper lighting to picking the perfect filter (or sometimes multiple filters), you need to constantly make sure you’re putting your best digital foot forward. This new movement of honesty is a gentle reminder to be “just you” on social media, while still poking fun at the striking difference between our online and in-person appearances.

Related: Swipe Regret on Tinder? There’s Help for You

This viral hashtag sheds light on the fact that singles don’t show who they really are online. It also pokes fun at the superficial premise of Tinder.

With over 10 million members, over 9 billion matches and over 16 million swipes per day, now you can see your potential date in real time and decide if the real Tinder pictures are worth swiping right on, or not. Then again, it’s sill the quickest way to fill up your date card for Valentine’s.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the CEO of Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

View our book trailer for The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, NEWLY REVISED with a magical epilogue and Bonus Audio Dating Advice.

Announcing our #DateChat on Twitter


Ready, set, tweet!

We’re super-excited at Cyber-Dating Headquarters to let you know that we’ll be hosting #DateChat on Twitter every Thursday at 8pm Eastern time, 5pm Pacific time.

#DateChat will bring together singles who are looking for love online and IRL to talk about their dating issues and relationship desires. #DateChat will be hosted by online dating expert Julie Spira. Every week we’ll be joined by a guest-host to stimulate the conversation.

Whether you’re newly single or are interested in dating your sweetheart, #DateChat will help spice up your love life.

Here’s how to join the party.

Sign onto Twitter or use your favorite Twitter management software such as Hootsuite or TweetDeck. Make sure you create a stream or do a search for #DateChat and save the search. If you have a question or are replying to a question, remember to use the hashtag of #DateChat in each tweet so others can communicate with you.

To make it easier, you can also log onto TweetChat, where it’s simple to stay in the conversation. Just type in our hashtag of #TweetChat and follow the stream. This will automatically add our hashtag to any tweet. Feel free to retweet any dating advice that you’d like your followers to see or ask questions for the dating community to see.


We look forward to chatting with you on Thursdays to get you date-ready for the weekend.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter!

Dating Advice at LA Twestival [with video]

LA Twestival

Just about everybody who is anyone in the social media space in Los Angeles attended the charity twitter festival, better known as Twestival at the Roxy theatre on Sunset Strip in West Hollywood. The theme was tweet, meet, and give.

This year’s Twestival was held in 175 countries around the world on March 25, 2010 and raised almost $350,000 to date for Concern Worldwide, an organization that helps bring education to the world’s poorest children.

The Twestival festivities included live music by DJ Mike Relm, METRIC and DJ Menelik, and a great photo booth provided by Polite in Public. It was an overall fun evening complete with a red carpet arrival.

Just like a doctor at a party who ends up giving out medical advice, I was in the VIP section answering dating questions for singles looking for love online. One single woman at 27 told me she had never been out on a date. She was wondering if she should even bother. Naturally I suggested that she sign up for at least one online dating site since she was tech-savvy. I’m waiting for the results. Another well-respected attractive attorney has an online dating profile on one site, but finds the men are running away from the “complete package.” ?A third woman, just out of a 6 year relationship, seems to only attract married men.

Slice it anyway you want, but love is a 365-year topic and online dating is now the hottest topic in the dating world and the second largest industry on the web.

Cyber Swag Bag Winner

I raffled off a copy of my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online in a VIP Cyber Swag Bag worth over $500. The lucky winner, a single-male in Los Angeles shared his enthusiasm in a tweet that said:

I won a great #giftbag from cyber-dating guru @JulieSpira at #LATwestival. TV/Web host-geek @ShiraLazar pulled my name. Thanks!

I quickly sent a RT that said: Your life may never be the same again RT @stevens1: I won a great #giftbag from cyber-dating expert @JulieSpira at #LATwestival

His follow-up tweet said, @JulieSpira LOL yes, I’m sure I’ll never be the same. So I might find an online date who doesn’t inspire me to check my watch? 🙂

Welcome to dating in a Web 2.0 World. Singles even want their dating advice IRL on twitter. I’ll be discussing this trend in greater detail at Jeff Pulver’s 140 Characters Conference – Exploring the State of Now in New York on April 21, 2010 at 945am.

@JulieSpira and @StaceySoleil

Congratulations the co-hosts Shira Lazar and Oprah Radio’s Derrick Ashong along with the many volunteers and sponsors for the evening including, Women in Technology, Girls in Tech, New Media Vault, Media Leaders, Social Media Club of Los Angeles, Digital Family, Tech Zulu, UStream, Tubefilter, Digital LA, Thrillist LA, and the list goes on. Donations can still be made by visiting Concern Worldwide’s website.

I’m a Character, You’re a Character – The 140 Conference in New York

140 characters Conference

It’s with great excitement that I share with you that I’ve been selected as a character in the upcoming 140 Characters Conference – Exploring the State of Now, ?to be held in New York City on April 20-21, 2010. The panel will focus on dating and is called, “Experiencing: Love, Dating and Romance in the Real-Time web.”

According to Jeff Pulver, “This event is shaping up to being the largest worldwide gathering of people interested in the effects of the real-time Internet on both business and ?we? the people.”

When I attended the 140 Characters Conference in Los Angeles in 2009, I had a conversation with Jeff about the 2010 New York event. I told him the importance of including a first-time dating panel at this conference. I explained the huge growth of online dating and the popularity of dating in real time with people hooking up on Twitter, Twitter marriage proposals, and the huge growth of mobile dating. I promised him it would be a fun panel. I didn’t want to disappoint those in the Twitterverse.

I am pleased to announce that on the panel I will be joined by my friends and colleagues Thomas Miller of Your Tango, known for his column Tomfoolery, and dating coach Scot ?McKay. Both Tom and Scot have been guests on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert radio show and I have met both of them in real life.

The 140 Characters Conference will feature some of the most important people in social media and on Twitter. I will be in good company along with Gary Vaynerchuk, MC Hammer, Ann Curry, Shelley Palmer, Ivanka Trump, Alexis Maybank, and Donny Deutsch. Over 140 characters will share the stage at the 92nd Street Y.

If you have a Twitter dating story to share, please let me know.

For a complete list of characters visit?

Tickets are only $100 through March 6, 2010. To purchase your ticket in the presale, visit

I hope to see you there, IRL.

Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at

Cyber Love Story of the Week – Christina and Grant

Cyber Love Story of the Week

Twitter love. Is it a new fad or here to stay?

Meet Christina and Grant. Read how they memorialized their love within 140 characters.

Christina, a technology and film journalist, met Grant in 2007. Grant was a part-time writer and full time software developer. They were working together as hosts and producers of a video podcast distributed by AOL titled “The Squadcast.”

“We had fantastic chemistry on camera, and it was honest — that same easy comfort between us existed off camera as well”, says Grant. That chemistry took a while to reach a boil, but in March of 2008 the pair began dating.

The couple was an instant hit. “I can’t imagine a more perfect mate.”, Grant explains, “I know it’s cliche but, Christina for me was like finding the missing piece to the jigsaw puzzle.” Christina adds, “Grant is my soulmate. I think I knew he was the one, deep down, long before we started dating.”

A little less than a year later, while Christina was away covering Macworld,? Grant popped the question via Twitter.

With both being early social-media adopters, news of the Twitter proposal spread like wildfire among the couple’s friends and colleagues. Christina recalls, “It was really nice to share my engagement with both my colleagues in San Francisco and with my friends and family all over the world — in real-time.”

Although “The Squadcast” ended production and Christina has since left AOL to join the juggernaut social media blog Mashable as a staff writer, the couple are still going strong. Christina and Grant plan to tie the knot in 2010.

Congratulations to Christina and Grant, true techies who prove that twitter love is alive and well.

Do you have a Cyber Love Story to share? Send us your story for consideration at

Read more Cyber Love Stories

Spinning Around with Tony Robbins


Tony Robbins & Julie Spira Photo Credit: Peter Chee

Tony Robbins & Julie Spira Photo Credit: Peter Chee

It’s not every day that you get the opportunity to spend over an hour with motivational giant, Tony Robbins. At 140 The Twitter Conference, Tony Robbins gave a keynote speech that had the crowd on their feet dancing and hugging strangers. His assignment for us was to greet everyone as if they were your long-lost lover or best friend.

To demonstrate his point that emotion is created by motion, he ran into the crowd, grabbed the woman in the red dress and spinned her around like a top! How exhilarating, especially as the woman in red was none other than myself! When he asked the crowd if it felt good – yes, or no, what could I say other than wow!

Watch the video, courtesy of @techfrog and hear from one of the most powerful life coaches in the world.

Other highlights of the first-ever Los Angeles Twitter Conference included an entertainment panel moderated by Dr. Drew Pinsky with panelists LeVar Burton, Tony Hawk, and Tyrese Gibson as well as a music panel that included Curt Smith from Tears for Fears and mega-blogger, Chamillionaire.

At the cocktail reception, the real Pee Wee Herman, came on stage and sent his first tweet.

In the final panel, The Future of Twitter, most of the panelists decided that if twitter was a public stock, they would have a buy order for it.

Follow me @JulieSpira and I look forward to reading your tweets.

Julie Spira is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at

Twiistup 6


I have attended Twiistup several times. Their latest gathering took place at the Universal Hilton Hotel on July 30th and 31st. This group of technology leaders and entrepreneurs meet to showcase new technology companies and incubators. Members of the VC world look at the prospects for investing.


Twiistup Music and Technology Panel

The highlight is always the Twiistup Evening party. Prior to the evening festivities, I attended the Music and Technology panel with rap star and recording artist Chamillionaire, Topspin’s Ian Rogers, and QD3.

Chamillionaire clearly rocked the show and was passionate about using Twitter, giving back to the community, and paying it forward. He gave his Twitter tips to the group and said it was a “must” for?anyone who wants to connect with their audience. He added that “Authenticity and passion are keys for success for social networking.” At the time of this writing, he has over 45,000 followers!


Chamillionaire and Julie Spira

The theme for the evening was 60s and many dressed up for the occasion and enjoyed listening to music from that decade while nibbling on cupcakes from Crumbs Bake Shop at the BakeSpace booth. It was a social networking crowd and everyone was enjoying the festivities while tweeting away and watching their tweets on the PeopleBrowsr monitor.

Julie Spira is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at

Digital LA Presents Twitter for Entertainment

It was a sold-out crowd at The Writers Guild of America where Kevin Winston of Digital LA organized a terrific twitter for enter@inment panel. The all women panel included:

– Ann Glenn, Sony Pictures Imageworks Interactive, Senior Web Producer @sonypictures
– Lindsey Mesenbourg, Universal Pictures, Online Film Publicist, @universalpics
– Ashley Pierce, Warner Bros. Entertainment, Corporate Communications @WarnerBrosEnt
– Dana Robinson,, Director of Social Media @nbc @theofficenbc @parksandrecnbc
– Helen Klein Ross, Supporting Characters, aka @BettyDraper and other Mad Men on Twitter
– Barret Swatek, actress (My Two Fans webisode series, Quarterlife) @KateMaxwell


twitter for entertainment panel

Kevin started the discussion with reminiscing on how twitter was introduced two years ago at SXSW. He added that the goal in writing is to inform, engage, entertain, and persuade. Dana Robinson let us know that NBC only started to twitter five months ago. Helen Klein Ross commented that Facebook was the place to connect to people you used to know, while twitter connects you with people you want to know. She added that you need to make every tweet count in 140 characters. Ashley Pierce told the group that companies need to stop talking like companies and start talking like people.

The audience shared which twitter and social networking applications they were using, including tweetdeck, tweetlater, twihrl, and twerbos.

Digital LA’s next event will be a networking mixer at Apple on Thursday, April 30th. ?For tickets, go to