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Surviving Valentine’s With a Long Distance Love

Long Distance LoveGeography used to be a barrier to the success of long distance relationships. These days technology can be our best friend when it comes to matters of the heart. Singles are dating online across town, across the U.S. and even in other countries.

So plug in your iPhones, set up your tablets and computers, and let’s get creative. It’s Valentine’s week and time to plan in advance to keep that spark alive.

If you and your long distance love can’t be in each other’s arms this Valentine’s Day, here’s your check list on what to do to make that day special for both of you.

1. Special Delivery

When in doubt, send flowers. Nothing will put a smile on her face more than receiving flowers, but did you know he might be flattered with a special delivery package as well? Go online and find something unique he’d like, that you know he wouldn’t buy for himself. Our list of 7 tech gifts for Valentine’s has a cross-section of items he might enjoy in a variety of price ranges. Is he a golfer? Send a gift certificate for a round of golf. Does he ski? Order new ski pants or send a lift ticket. He’ll be happy when he opens the door.

2. Schedule a Skype or Facetime Dinner Date

If you can’t be with your one-and-only cheek-to-cheek, dress up for the occasion, whip up a fun meal, and dine together with the help of your webcam. Ladies, make sure to wear red and pucker up with some shiny lip gloss. If you did receive flowers from your BF, place them next to you so he can see what he ordered.  Swap recipes in advance and let one of you be responsible for the appetizers, while another decides on the main course. At the end of the date, remember to have a romantic dessert. One of my favorites is in our Love Potions: Stuffed Strawberries with Dark Chocolate. You’ll both fall asleep with smiles on your faces, guaranteed.

3. Make a CD Mix or playlist

Music and romance are a winning combination. One way to show you care is to take the time from your busy day to create a music list and send it electronically to your date. If he or she still likes CDs, mail a gift-wrapped CD to their home. It’s a great way to show that you love them. Your Valentine will think of you every time they listen to it, so it’s a gift without an expiration date, in between the times you get to see each other IRL.

4. Remember to put a stamp on it

Write a love letter and mail it to them, snail mail. Your Valentine will have a permanent keepsake and there’s something uber romantic about a hand-written card with a stamp on it. Call me old-fashioned, but love letters will never go out of style.

Related: Tips on Writing a Love Letter

5. Say “I Love You”

How do I love thee. Let me count the ways. There’s no limit to the amount of times you should let your S.O. know you love them. Should you text or call? I say do both. Send a text early enough to wake him or her up in the morning. Follow it up with a call or voicemail message wishing them a “Happy Valentine’s Day.” Then it’s off to your Skype date in the evening.

6. Have a Movie Marathon

Watching a rom-com in each other’s arms can give you that warm and fuzzy connected feeling. But what happens when you’re in a LDR? I say keep that movie night on the calendar.  Pick a romantic comedy to watch together, while apart. Head over to Skype or FaceTime, grab some snacks, and enjoy a movie date together. If you’d rather binge watch your favorite TV series, no need to fret. Netflix has released a survey showing your love and affection together, as it relates to the way you binge watch. Need more deets? Check it out.

7. Send a Care Package

Nothing screams TLC in a better way when you’re far away, than sending your Valentine a care package in advance. What should you include? Anything romantic. Candles, lingerie, chocolate, music, a hand-written love note, framed photos of the two of you, or something you know that will make him or her smile. Remember to send it in advance, or go for a 2-day delivery. Valentine’s is on a Sunday this year, so your package will need to be received by Friday.

If all else fails, you can always plan a surprise visit. It doesn’t get much better than that. Our friends at PlentyOfFish shared a video with us, about how they brought together a long-distance relationship couple, Kristen from New Jersey and Johnny from Pennsylvania. POF flew them to Vancouver for a romantic Valentine’s Day, claiming they recognized the remarkable strength and fortitude of couples who navigate the highs and lows of long-distance relationships. As Kristen says, “Love is really is greater than distance.”

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace this Valentine’s Day, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice and sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

The Perils of Cyber-DatingLooking for love online?

Check out our completely revised edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, released for Valentine’s Day. This 2nd edition is available digitally on Amazon on Kindle and in an audio book on Audible and Amazon and includes a new epilogue with a romantic twist and a fairy tale ending.

 

Valentine’s Dating: How to Land a Date for Valentine’s

Valentine's Day - CyberDatingExpert.com

Valentine’s Day. Love it, or hate it?

We’re about one month away from the most romantic holiday of the year.

Here’s our Valentine’s Survival Guide.

If you’re single, there’s no need to hide under the covers. If you’re dating someone, but he hasn’t asked you to be his Valentine just yet, here are some tips to enjoy the day, regardless of your relationship status. Remember, Valentine’s is on a weekend this year and it’s also during President’s Day weekend, so think big and be optimistic. It’s time to fill your date card.

1. Ramp up Your Online Search

Let’s face it, everyone seems to be online theses days, so if you’re not logging on EVERY day, checking your matches and responding quickly to his or her emails, someone else just might get their attention faster. It’s true what they say that the squeaky wheel gets the deal. If you can carve out time to go to the gym, you should be able to schedule time to log on daily. Make sure you’ve signed up for push notifications of when someone has emailed you or made you their favorite so you can respond quickly. Ditch the old waiting game rules. This is how to stand out in the digital dating world.

2. Keep Swiping Right

If you’re on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Happn or other mobile dating apps, make sure your notifications are turned on and swipe right several times a day to view your matches. When you get a mutual match, respond quickly and always use their first name when you are saying hello. Remember not to say “hey,” as horses hang out in hay. Got it?

Read: 6 Mobile Apps You Should be Using in 2016

3. Text an Ex

Did you know that 20% of singles do text an ex on or around Valentine’s Day? So if both of you are single, why not get together and go down memory lane. Make sure you’re on the same page and just enjoy the evening. You may not be rekindling, but the familiarity might just make it a fun evening rather than flying solo.

4. Attend Singles Events

The one thing about singles events is, everyone is in the same boat. They’re single and are hoping to connect with someone. Check out Match.com’s Stir events in your city, RSVP to a MeetUp for a subject you’re passionate about, and attend business networking events. The more you’re out there in the public, the more opportunities you have to flirt with a potential date. Remember not to be too coy. Be bold and smile. Dr. Pat Allen, author of “Getting to ‘I Do,'” suggests the five-second stare. It may feel like an eternity, but it may bring you closer to that cute guy across the room. P.S. Remember to wear red! It’s the color of love and romance and research has proven that guys respond more often to women wearing red. .

Related: Read Valentine’s Survival Guide

5. Don’t Go Overboard

From going to an amusement park to ride the Ferris Wheel to taking a cooking class or going ice skating, make Valentine’s Day a no-pressure experience if you’re in a new relationship and aren’t exclusive yet. There’s no need to break the bank.

Related: Read 10 Fun Valentine’s Date Ideas

Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?

Grab your BFF’s, dress in pink or red, and head to the movies or a concert together. Valentine’s Day isn’t always about love. It’s about spending quality time with someone you really like.

Are you a fan or foe of Valentine’s Day?

Photo credit: Fotolia

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

P.S. Our newly revised version of our bestselling book is coming out for Valentine’s Day as an audio book. You won’t want to miss hearing the Epilogue, guaranteed to warm your heart.

Why Mobile Dating Apps and Tinder are Hot

Mobile Dating valentine'sThis Valentine’s Day, the media is all a buzz about rise in popularity of mobile dating apps.

Recently at the iDate Conference, I presented Tinder with the award of Best Mobile Dating App of 2015.

This award was well-deserved, considering two years ago, Tinder wasn’t a household word like Match and eHarmony has been for years for online daters.

In an interview with The New York Times, I told reporter Molly Wood  that the increase in smartphone usage directly relates to the increase in dating app usage.

“People are dating on the fly, they’re dating in real time, they’re hooking up or meeting for dates, they’re doing both. Same day, same hour.”

Read: Lead by Tinder, a Surge in Mobile Dating Apps in the New York Times

So how did a perceived hook-up app become the hottest trend for singles looking for love online?

1. They penetrated the college marketplace.

These early adopters paved the way for others to jump on the bandwagon. In time, the demographics started to rise and millions of users were playing the Tinder game.

2. They made it easy to create a profile.

With no long questions to answer and no profile approval process, all one has to is download the app, connect to Facebook where it pulls your age and photos on Facebook, and add a short bio if you desire, however many ignore filling out the profile.

3. Set your preferences for distance and age parameters

Since Tinder is location-based, once you log on, it searches for potential matches close by. If you travel out of town, you’ll receive a whole new set of matches to make sure you’re not lonely at night.

4. Let the swiping and matching begin

Quite simply, you swipe right if you’re attracted to someone and swipe left if you’re not. If both of you swipe right, then you’re notified that you’re a match and can start communicating in their private chat feature.

Online dating and mobile dating are a numbers game. The more often you swipe, the more often you’ll have the opportunity to be matched.

5. State Your Intentions

We are living in a world of swiping left and right and the habit has become the norm for other popular mobile dating apps. In order to be successful on Tinder, you must start swiping and become proactive about communicating with your matches. If you’re looking to find a relationship instead of a casual fling, you must fill out the information bio page and clearly state your dating intentions. Women find it refreshing when a man says, “Not looking for FWB or a hookup.”

At the iDate conference, it was pointed out by Mark Brooks from Courtland Brooks that only 8% of women were swiping right while viewing profiles of men. Men on the other hand were swiping right as often as possible, with the hopes that they can be matched.

Tinder reports over 1 billion swipes a day and matches over 12 million people a day. But are they actually meeting IRL?

An interesting trend that we are noticing is that a lot of men are posting their age on Tinder as 100 years old. The trend of not honestly stating your age in online dating has been around for years, but to become a centurion on Tinder means you’ll have to change your age on your Facebook profile. There’s no way to change your age on Tinder. Facebook makes it difficult to change your age and discourages this process by limiting the amount of times you can do so. Still, I encourage truth-in-advertising.

Related: How to Change Your Age on Tinder

As I told The New York Times, people who are using Tinder are also using other dating sites, sometimes paying for memberships. Having easy access to lots of different dates actually increases your odds of eventually finding a match. It’s making dates happen a lot more quickly and the more dates you go on, the better daters you become. Let mobile dating apps become your new best friend.

Are you swiping right on multiple mobile dating apps?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and mobile dating. Julie’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5pm/PT. Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Photo credit: Fotolia

Countdown to Valentine’s Day – How to Snag a Date

Valentine's Day - CyberDatingExpert.com

Valentine’s Day. Love it, or hate it?

We’re about one month away from the most romantic holiday of the year.

Here’s our Valentine’s Survival Guide.

If you’re single, there’s no need to hide under the covers. If you’re dating someone, but he hasn’t asked you to be his Valentine just yet, here are some tips to enjoy the day, regardless of your relationship status. Remember, Valentine’s is on a weekend this year and it’s also during President’s Day weekend, so think big and be optimistic.

1. Ramp up Your Online Search

Let’s face it, everyone seems to be online theses days, so if you’re not logging on EVERY day, checking your matches and responding quickly to his emails, some other girl just might get his attention faster. It’s true what they say that the squeaky wheel gets the deal. If you can carve out time to go to the gym, you should be able to schedule time to log on daily. Make sure you’ve signed up for notifications of when someone has emailed you or made you their favorite so you can respond quickly. Ditch the old waiting game rules. This is how the digital dating world words.

2. Keep Swiping Right

If you’re on Tinder, Hinge, or are using the mobile dating apps from your favorite online dating site, make more of an effort to log on and swipe right to your matches. It’s really a numbers game. Unless your match is advertising for a hookup or looks like an ax murderer, swipe right and take a moment to say hello. A guy will be flattered to see the notification that you’re digging him digitally. Remember to take your relationship from online to offline so you can meet IRL.

3. Attend Singles Events

The one thing about singles events is, everyone is in the same boat. They’re single and are hoping to connect with someone. Check out Match.com’s Stir events in your city, RSVP to a MeetUp for a subject you’re passionate about, and attend business networking events. The more you’re out there in the public, the more opportunities you have to flirt with a potential date. Remember not to be too coy. Be bold and smile. Dr. Pat Allen, author of
“Getting to I Do,” suggests the five-second stare. It may feel like an eternity, but it may bring you closer to that cute guy across the room. P.S. Remember to wear red! It’s the color of love and romance and is known to attract men.

Related: Read Valentine’s Survival Guide

4. Text an Ex

Did you know that 20% of singles do text an ex on or around Valentine’s Day? So if both of you are single, why not get together and go down memory lane. Make sure you’re on the same page and just enjoy the evening. You may not be rekindling, but the familiarity might just make it a fun evening rather than flying solo.

5. Don’t Go Overboard

From going to an amusement park to ride the Ferris Wheel to taking a cooking class or going ice skating, make Valentine’s Day a no-pressure experience if you’re in a new relationship and aren’t exclusive yet. There’s no need to break the bank.

Related: Read 10 Fun Valentine’s Date Ideas

Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?

Grab your BFF’s, dress in pink or red, and head to the movies or a concert together. Valentine’s Day isn’t always about love. It’s about spending quality time with someone you really like.

Are you a fan or foe of Valentine’s Day?

Photo credit: Fotolia

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Cyber Love Links

Cyber Love Links – Links to love, when you’re in the mood for love.

Cyber Love Links - Links we love, when we're in the mood for love

Now that Valentine’s is a distant memory, we’re taking a digital moment to thank some of those who included us in their dating advice stories for what we called, worldwide romance week.

A huge Shout out and thank you to the Miami Herald who featured my online dating tips in “Dating sites become mainstream and focus on more niche markets.” The article features Matchmaker.com and Jewcier founder Meir Strahlberg, a Miami entrepreneur and friend of Cyber-Dating Expert. Thanks to our new friends at Prevention magazine for “Should you Ditch Online Dating?” and to Rita Watson on Psychology Today for featuring me in her Love and Gratitude column. It was a thrill to be quoted on NBC News: Safely Surfing for Your Sweetheart and to appear on FOX News in three separate television segments.

For the singles dating in college, check out College Magazine’s “Wine and Dine Me: Tips on Being Romantic,” Daily Kansan: “Tips on Virtual Love,” and Campus Explorer for “Rise in Online Dating for Students.”

For your viewing pleasure, our friends at YourTango posted their Ask the Experts Video, “What is Mobile Dating?” Yes, it’s the hottest trend so it’s time to hop on board.

Over at GenConnect, I contributed a guest post, “Still Need a Date for Valentine’s? and gave my two cents worth on Huffington Post in “Experts and Researchers Say Online Dating Has Lost its Stigma,” which has been tweeted 83 times and still counting. Hint, hint. We love the social media love.

Ever wonder who signs on to Missed Connections on Craig’s List? So did The Brooklyn Paper and Digital Trends. Find out how a professor took a deeper look and created a site to help those in search of the one who got away.

As always, I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Like Cyber Dating Expert on Facebook.

 

Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt

Weekly FlirtThe Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt is now available for your reading pleasure. Sign up here to join our Weekly Flirt, share your online dating stories, and learn more about Dating in a Web 2.0 World.

Free Valentine’s Weekend on Chemistry


Free Communication Weekend 150x125

Wondering how to find a date for Valentine’s? The good news is an overwhelming number of singles polled this year say they feel good about going on a first date on Valentine’s Day.

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Free Love February at Lavalife


lavalife dating free trial

We’re happy to share with you that our friends at Lavalife are celebrating during Valentine’s Month with their “Free Love February” special. Any new user who signs up within the month of February will receive 30 days of unlimited access to their online dating site, absolutely free.

Click here for the?Lavalife: 30-Day Free Trial and let the dating begin.