You Aren't so Beautiful - Beautiful People? : Cyber Dating Expert
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You Aren’t so Beautiful – Beautiful People?


It’s been a hot news story for dating. The online dating site has deleted 5000 women from their membership base because, they just weren’t beautiful enough. ?Apparently over the holidays thousands of women gained weight, a common problem both men and women suffer from during the period from Thanksgiving through New Year’s. They were booted off the site until they lost weight. Some were added back on, but only a small proportion.

What’s all the buzz about

I have been asked to comment on this. Is this discrimination? Is it right? Was it something to attract the media?

I decided not to comment at first. ?Instead, I put up my own profile on to see what would happen. Since I lost 7 pounds over the holidays, I wondered, would I be deleted from the database as I became too thin? Just who really defines beautiful?

Beautiful People advertises themselves as the sexiest site in the world. ?Their home page asks if you want a guarantee that your dates will always be beautiful. I asked myself, isn’t beauty in the eye of the beholder? I decided to check in with this sexy Internet dating site tonight to see who may have liked viewing my online dating profile photo, only to receive this message:

Dear member, has launched globally.
The launch is being extensively covered by the global media.

The huge media coverage is currently generating so much traffic on our servers that we have had to limit some users from using the site.
We are sorry for the inconvenience.

We’re excited to welcome you, so please check back later.

The BeautifulPeople Team

If you just created a new profile and was forwarded to this page, your profile was registered correctly and you will be notified when the site is again accessible.

There was no personalization of “Dear Julie” ……. Just Dear member (without a capital m). As one who recommends online dating sites to my private clients, I was disappointed. I don’t know whether I didn’t make the cut, lost too much weight, if indeed their media campaign stressed their servers, or if they were told not to add/delete any new profiles due to a potential discrimination. Yesterday my profile was accepted. Today I have apparently disappeared from their database. I guess I just wasn’t beautiful enough. This online dating site now is the number one link on Google under “beautiful people.” It was marketing success story.

Your comments and thoughts are welcome.

Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of the bestselling online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at


6 Responses to “You Aren’t so Beautiful – Beautiful People?”

  1. Serena on January 6th, 2010 8:34 pm

    Can’t wait to see what you uncover. Me, I think the board should give the person who thought this up a raise or a bonus. When you look at the the spike in traffic, you realize, that person is a genius. is fishing where the fish are and if their site can stand the traffic, they should see a huge surge in registrations.


  2. AV on January 7th, 2010 1:42 am

    Serena is right–this is a brilliant marketing strategy. I got a profile on there last year to see what it was about, but haven’t been on since. When we get together, we should try to get on and see if we uncover anything!
    .-= AV´s last blog ..Kama Sutra: The Charms and Attitudes =-.

  3. Liz H. Kelly on January 7th, 2010 10:00 am

    Sounds like an interesting PR strategy for Beautiful People. What are their criteria for Beautiful People? Thanks for sharing this funny news story! What will they do next?
    .-= Liz H. Kelly´s last blog ..Great Love Review – Avatar =-.

  4. Diniwiel on January 7th, 2010 12:01 pm

    There was one thing that didn’t ring right with me: “Yesterday my profile was accepted. Today I have apparently disappeared from their database. I guess I just wasn?t beautiful enough.”

    I submitted my application there yesterday for curiosity’s sake, but it was stated that the rating module continues the course of 48 hours. Since you couldn’t possibly see your own rating because of the server issue and the message that everyone has been getting this past week trying to access the website, there’s something wrong/mistaken on your part.

    The whole idea of the website is genius. I totally agree with you Serena.

    Discrimination? In my opinion, no. By creating the rating module, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” becomes implemented. Mainstream beauty changes over time and today’s beauty may be tomorrow’s ugly. Today’s big-nosed people may be tomorrow’s aristocratic-nosed society darlings.

    Is it right? Of course it’s right. The founders are earning money, the “beautiful” people of the world population are getting their kicks, some possibly finding happiness, others’ self-esteem building, some agencies’ workload has decreased and so forth. It’s a great socializing network for one out of many demographics. Because of jealousy whether it be lack of self-esteem or in confidence, negative connotations are placed by the average joe and jane upon this exclusive community of “beautiful people.”
    I’m not particularly physically attractive, short, slightly chubby and glasses-wearing. However, I can place myself in a “beautiful” person’s shoes and see it’s not that much of a paradise. “Beautiful” people are sexualized by the general population. Someone beautiful has to be shallow. Someone good-looking has to date someone who won’t feel pressured to measure up to their looks. It’s really difficult and not time efficient for these people to go through the mainstream online dating sites.
    I say kudos to those who made the website and created a niche for these troubled “beautiful” people. I babbled too long already.

  5. Julie Spira on January 7th, 2010 1:52 pm

    Thank you for your comments everyone. I think the marketing of it was genius. I’m just curious to see what happens to my profile and will keep you posted.

  6. Julie Spira on January 7th, 2010 5:53 pm

    9 hours left of my “waiting period” where 30,000 men are in the process of voting on my profile. Do I stay or do I go? Look for a follow up post from my conversation with the head of

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