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How to ACE Meeting His Adult Kids at the Holidays

 

Meeting Kids at Holidays

Being in a relationship with someone during your first holiday together can be both exciting, as well as filled with emotions and anxiety.

While meeting someone’s parents is a big deal, meeting your significant other’s children is a bigger deal. It’s quite possible they might have not met another woman besides their mother, and may be examining you with a cautious eye.

If your partner’s divorced or a single dad, chances are he’ll have family commitments that may or may not include you.

Before you start stuffing his turkey or filling his Christmas stocking with something fancy or coal, take a BIG deep breath and follow these tips to ensure they will love you just as much as your guy does.

1. Communicate. Talk to your significant other about logistics. Decide where you’ll be meeting his family and how long you’ll be staying there. Chances are his kids may want to see their friends as well over the holidays and meeting you won’t be as high on their priority list as it is on yours.

2. Control the PDA. While you’re used to being lovey-dovey together, there’s no getting around the fact that his kids will imagine you having sex with their dad. While they want to see him happy, they’d rather visualize the two of you fully clothed. Stick to hand holding and a hug and avoid sitting on his lap.

3. Include Laughter. Nothing will lighten up a potentially stressful situation (ie: meeting the family) than a joke and the ability to smile and laugh. Keep the jokes G-rated, regardless of the everyone’s age. Remember to stay positive and leave your baggage behind. If his kids see you’re a happy person, they’ll project to you making their dad happy as well.

4. Don’t Talk About Their Mom. The kids you’re meeting, even if they’re adult children, will always give their loyalty to their mom. Even if they realize the split was for the best, they will have years-and-years of memories of the family celebrating the holidays together.  Avoid the urge to say something about his ex, even if it’s sharing his mumbling sentiments, or a recent memory that gets brought to the table. They already have a mom and you’re not signing up to be an instant step-mother. Show respect for their mother to avoid any uncomfortable feelings.

5. Bring a Gift. If you’re going to their adult children’s home, bring a thoughtful gift, such as a holiday basket or a candle so you don’t show up empty-handed. Don’t do the complete opposite by smothering them with gifts from a stranger. If the kids are school-age, bring each of them a small gift, so they have something to open.

6. Avoid Taking Photos. Let your boyfriend or his kids be in charge of snapping photos when you meet. His family won’t be sure if you’ll be sticking around, so posting them on social media is a netiquette no-no.

7. Give a Hug. There’s something warm about hugging someone hello or goodbye. If you greet them with a handshake and your get together goes well, leave with a quick goodbye hug to show affection to your boyfriend’s kids, so they can welcome you warmly to the family and be happy for their dad.

Let your boyfriend know you’re excited you are to meet his children and that you’re proud that he thinks enough about your relationship to show that you’re officially a couple.

Remember, he’s nervous that it will go well too. Be genuine and warm.

Wishing you much love and joy at the holidays.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and was an early adopter of the Internet. Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating coaching programs.

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Valentine’s Survival Guide

Valentine's Day Etiquette

This Valentine’s Day falls on a long holiday weekend and comes complete with a full moon, so if you’re thinking about leaning in for that first kiss, don’t be shy. A full moon can bring out the romance just about any time of the year.

We’re back with our Valentine’s Survival guide, complete with social media etiquette, fun date ideas, and are proud to share out latest interview in the New York Times about Tinder and mobile dating apps to ramp up your search to find that perfect Valentine.

Read: Led by Tinder, the Mobile Dating Game Surges in the New York Times

With out further digital ado, here are some of our articles and dating tips to bring the love back in your life, or at least make sure that you’re not hiding under the covers on a holiday weekend.

 

Valentine's Dating IdeasTen Fun Valentine’s Date Ideas

From riding the Ferris Wheel to a scavenger hunt, find out why in-room-dining at home can be one of the most romantic ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day, regardless of your relationship status.

smoochthumbnail

 

Would You Text an Ex on Valentine’s Day? 20% Said Yes!

Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?

FBHeartSocial Media Rules for a Happy Valentine’s Day

From Twitter to Facebook, Pinterest to Instagram, find out what to post, or not to post on your favorite social networks.

DON’T: Tag your new boyfriend on Facebook. Chances are he hasn’t told his buddies and work pals about his Valentine’s plans.

DO: Post a photo if you’ve received flowers, a fun gift, or of the dessert at dinner. Everyone loves to view the photos and will cheer you on with ‘likes.’

DON’T: Post your Happy Valentine’s message on your date’s wall. Saying you can’t wait until the evening together should remain private. Remember, a simple post may be innocent. However your friends might wonder what kind of wild night the two of you will be having. Or worse yet, his ex-girlfriend might start posting inappropriate comments to ruin your evening.

DO: Send a digital gift, such as his or her favorite band on iTunes, an e-card, or a redeemable gift card to a store or restaurant.

DON’T: Send a musical montage of ‘I Love You’ songs if you haven’t said those three little words yet.

DO: Ask for permission before you post anything online. Remember you’re creating a permanent digital footprint and your status and photos can be shared, even by people you don’t know.

DON’T: Overshare. Remember, many of your friends are single and may not be enjoying the day.

DO: Make an exciting announcement. If you become engaged on Valentine’s Day, your friends will want to know.

DON’T: Change your Facebook relationship status to ‘In a Relationship’ until both of you have had the talk and agree to be on the same digital page.

Do you have any social media rules for Valentine’s Day?

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam this Valentine’s.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and join us for #DateChat on Thursdays at 5pm/PT on Twitter.

 

Dating in a Digital World

Texting Match Survey

It’s official! Singles are so attached to their mobile phones, that the sound of the chirping at night will actually wake them up to find out if their digital crush is sending a good night text saying, “Sweet dreams” to help them sleep better.

In the 5th Annual Singles in America Study released by Match, they focus on digital dating habits of 5,675 singles in the U.S. between the ages of 18 to 70+.

The study showed that singles looking for love online go on more dates than those who meet in bars or offline with online daters going on an average of 4.2 dates in 2014, as compared to offline daters who went on an average of 2.8 dates.

According to the study, 82% of singles went on a date in 2014 with someone they met online, as compared to 49% of those who were dating offline. The study also stated that online daters are looking for a more committed relationship, are more likely to be more educated, and have full time jobs.

While this makes a lot of sense with the huge dating pool and the focused activity of logging on daily to look for a date, as compared to going out organically, it reinforces what we already know: Online dating is efficient. It’s available 24-hours a day and if you take advantage of the matching features of many dating sites, you will be able to fill up your date card.

Since 60% of singles log onto social networking sites for an average of one-hour per day, start liking the posts of someone you might have a digital crush on, remember to use spell-check and grammar check,  and mind your texting manners to capture his or her heart.

Texting Etiquette Dos and Dont’s from Single Men to Women

1. Do post photos

2. Don’t text more than once before a reply

3. Do post sexy texts

4. Don’t text during work hours

5. Do post emoticons

6. Don’t post slang (LOL, OMG, etc.)

Texting Etiquette Dos and Dont’s from Single Women to Men

1. Do post photos

2. Don’t post sexy texts

3. Do post emoticons

4. Don’t post sexy photos

5. Do post slang (LOL, OMG, etc.)

6. Don’t text more than once before a reply

Full report and details at SinglesinAmerica.com

Match SIA study

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, having created her first profile over 20 years ago. Julie’s the host of #DateChat on Thursdays at 5pm/PT on Twitter and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Social Media Rules for a Happy Digital Valentine’s Day

Valentine'sWith Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s time to brush up on your social media etiquette skills.

We know that you’re excited about your upcoming date or new relationship, but are you both on the same digital page?

Here are some Dos and Don’ts on how to handle social media and love on February 14th.

DO: send a fun and flirty “Happy Valentine’s Day” text to the person you’ll be spending the holiday with. It will generate excitement leading up to your date.

DON’T: Keep your phone on the table during the date or check text messages. It sends a message that someone else is more important than you are.

DO: Send a text message inviting them for a SKYPE date if you can’t be together or if they live out of town.

DON’T: Post photos of the two of you as a couple on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram unless both of you decide together that you don’t mind your extended network to view your whereabouts.

DO: Post a photo of the cute red or pink dress you might be wearing on your date.

DON’T: Tag your new boyfriend on Facebook. Chances are he hasn’t told his buddies and work pals about his Valentine’s plans.

DO: Post a photo if you’ve received flowers, a fun gift, or of the dessert at dinner. Everyone loves to view the photos and will cheer you on with ‘likes.’

DON’T: Post your “Happy Valentine’s” message on your date’s wall. Saying you can’t wait until the evening together should remain private. Remember, a simple post may be innocent. However your friends might wonder what kind of wild night the two of you will be having. Or worse yet, his ex-girlfriend might start posting inappropriate comments to ruin your evening.

DO: Send a digital gift, such as his or her favorite band on iTunes, an e-card, or a redeemable gift card to a store or restaurant.

DON’T: Send a musical montage of “I Love You?”songs if you haven’t said those three little words yet.

DO: Ask for permission before you post anything online. Remember you?re creating a permanent digital footprint and your status and photos can be shared, even by people you don’t know.

DON’T: Overshare. Remember, many of your friends are single and may not be enjoying the day.

DO: Make an exciting announcement. If you become engaged on Valentine’s Day, your friends will want to know.

DON’T: Change your Facebook relationship status to ‘In a Relationship’ until both of you have had the talk and agree to be on the same digital page.

Do you have any social media rules for Valentine?s Day?

Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and The Rules of Netiquette. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.