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BBC Live Debate – Can You Find Love on the Internet?

There’s no shortage of advice and opinions when it comes to matters of the heart on Valentine’s Day.

In celebration of the most romantic day of the year, I’ll be returning to BBC Live 5, at midnight UK, 7pm EST, 4pm PST to talk about finding love online on Valentine’s Day.

In this lively debate on the Tony Livesey show, I’ll be joined with British dating expert, Andy Jones and a woman who is dead set against joining an online dating site. I believe as Facebook continues to grown, so will memberships to online dating sites. Can we convince her to give it a shot? Are you for or against online dating?

Here are my Top 10 Online Dating Dos and Don’ts for Valentine’s Day, and beyond. Hint: She won’t be flattered to receive a text message from a male suitor that says Happy Valentine’s Day, when he hasn’t asked her to be his Valentine.

We’ll be answering your questions on the dos and don’ts of online dating on this special Valentine’s edition of the Tony Livesey show, so I hope you tune in to listen.

To listen to the show, click here.

Valentine’s Etiquette – Dos and Don’ts for Your Valentine

Valentine's Day Etiquette

Christmas was barely over when the stores turned their holiday red into holiday hearts in preparation for Valentine?s Day.

As we?re a few weeks away from the day that women dream about every year and that some men purposely book business trips to avoid the pressure of the season, it?s time to take a look at the dos and don?ts for Valentine?s Day for every type of love stage.

1.???? Do make a dinner reservation for February 14th. Even if you don?t have a date in mind, go ahead and reserve a table on Many restaurants book up in January. You can always cancel the reservation if you find yourself dateless on the days leading up to Valentine?s.

2.???? Don?t ask her out for Valentine?s Day in an email or a text message. This is the time for you to either pick up the phone and call or better yet, ask her in person if your date is going well.

3.???? Do discuss Valentine?s Day with the person you are dating. If one of you loves the holiday and the other can?t bear it, come up with a compromise. Valentine?s is on a Monday this year. Pick a different night for a romantic dinner and make it a special date night on one of the days leading up to the 14th.

4.???? Don?t go overboard with flowers. It?s the thought that counts. Stop by your local grocery story and pick up one long stemmed rose. It has the same impact as the full dozen and is 1/12th the price.

5.???? Don?t wait until the week before to ask her to spend the Valentine?s with you. If you are dating someone special and you know for sure you?d like her to be your Valentine, ask her out at least two weeks in advance.

6.???? Do try in-room dining this year. Light some candles, cook up a simple meal in the kitchen together and look forward to a steamy dessert.

7.???? Don?t make gift giving too much pressure. You may still be paying your credit card bill from the holidays. A card, a hug, and some lingerie and massage oils will make a memorable evening.

8.???? Do accept invitations for Valentine?s dances and parties the weekend before February 14th. You won?t feel alone with so many other singles in a fun and flirty setting. Wear red for the occasion and say yes if someone asks you to be his or her Valentine.

9.???? Don?t be blue if you can?t be with your sweetheart on Valentine?s Day. Schedule a SKYPE date, wear red, and flirt the night away with your long distance love.

10.?? Do wake up and wish your loved one a Happy Valentine?s Day in a voicemail, email, or text message to let them know that you?re looking forward to spending the evening together.

Do you look forward or dread Valentine?s Day? We?d like to hear your comments.

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The Valentine’s Day Cut Off Rule

It’s now 5 days before Valentine’s Day. The Super Bowl memories are starting to fade. Have you asked your date to be your Valentine yet? If not, are you aware that there is a “cut-off” rule for when to solidify who you will be spending February 14th with?

If you have watched Curb Your Enthusiasm, you might recall that Larry discussed the cut-off rule in an episode. They determined 9:30-10:00pm for the cut-off time to phone a friend. It became a heated discussion. The same theory applies to Valentine’s Day.

In my online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, one of my rules of netiquette was the cut-off rule. This rule applied to the most common misrepresentation in an online dating profile – the accuracy of your age . Although I believe in authenticity, I had decided that 5-10 years was the maximum amount of years that you could take off your age in your profile. I added that you need to be honest in the body of your email, on the phone, or certainly the latest by the first-date. I don’t promote lying on your profile, I just know that many singles want to fit into a search.

So, getting back to Valentine’s Day. When is it too late to ask the woman you are dating out for Sunday night? ?Here’s my relationship advice. I took a poll during the Super Bowl and most men felt they could wait until the last day, if there was chemistry with someone they had just met. I disagreed. I told them, one week maximum, and that once the Super Bowl was over, it was time to put the date in ink on the calendar and get whatever remaining reservations were available at such a late date.

Think about it. Most restaurants book up a month in advance of Valentine’s Day. There will be slim pickings. You can always bring food home and set the table with fine china and candles, but it won’t be the same. If you are waiting until the last minute, don’t be surprised to find your date has made other plans. A smart, confident woman doesn’t wait around for the phone to ring. She’d rather be alone than be an afterthought. ?If you have made Valentine’s plans and have a change of heart, don’t go down in history as the guy or girl who cancels on her Valentine’s date the week of because something better came along. It will come back to haunt you. If you are gearing up for this romantic day, logging into your online dating profile on a regular basis during the days leading to Valentine’s may get you in the “dog house.” It certainly won’t get you into the bedroom.

With or without a date, my advice is to try and enjoy Valentine’s Day and be open to the possibilities of love. It may arrive on time, or it may be late. If you are really interested in pursuing someone romantically, don’t forget Valentine’s Day. If so, be prepared that your calls won’t be returned.

Julie Spira is known world wide as the Cyber-Dating Expert. Visit her at

7 Online Dating Tips to Get Lucky for Valentine’s

It’s almost two weeks until Valentine’s Day. There’s no need to hide or ban wearing red until February 15th. Read my dating advice on JDate’s advice site, JMag for singles who would like to get lucky in love by Valentine’s Day.

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