Cyber-Dating Expert

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Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert – Dating Advice

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
Cyber-Dating Expert

Dear Julie,

My boyfriend cancelled our date as he was home sick with the flu. He truly was sick and sounded awful. However, my friend saw his profile online and it said he was “online now.” Should I be concerned and should I confront him?

~Amy in Atlanta

Dear Amy,

Your beau may have been sick with the flu and had a little too much time on his hands. Rather than emailing you a romantic note or taking a nap, he decided to go fishing. It’s not uncommon, but if you are sleeping with him, it’s not a good sign. You have two choices here.

  1. Pretend you don’t know. In this case, you aren’t going to feel comfortable taking off your clothes on the next date. He may have just been bored and curious, or he is looking for a plan B. If you haven’t talked about being exclusive, assume you are not.
  2. Go ahead and bust him. He’ll assume you didn’t know about his get-well hobby. Let him know that your friend saw him online and was about to write to him, until she realized who it was. Take the high road and tell him you’d like to date others as well. Don’t let an excuse such as ?he let his friend use his account to see what it was like to be on an Internet dating site. He’ll either take his profile down or agree with you that you both should be dating others.

I’m a believer of saying what is on your mind and let the chips fall where they may land. It’s not fun being in a relationship where you are walking on eggshells. It’s just a time bomb getting ready to explode. Who knows? Perhaps if you take a peek online, you might find a better model yourself.

If you have a question and need dating advice, please send your emails to

Julie Spira is known worldwide as the Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at for dating advice and where you can share your online dating stories.

Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert. She's an award-winning dating coach who's been helping singles find love online for 25+ years. Follow @JulieSpira on IG.

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