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Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert: To Tell or Not to Tell

Cyber-Dating Expert

Bruce came to me needing some dating advice. He has a serious medical condition which is under control now. He doesn’t know whether to tell his new dates about his illness or not. He hasn’t dated much and this is a delicate issue. Do you tell your dates early on that you have a possible life-threatening illness? And if so, at what point to you fully disclose this information?

Dear Bruce,

There is no right or wrong answer as to when you will tell someone you are dating about your medical illness. The good news is that you are feeling well now and should be dating. Serious matters that can affect relationships usually deal with family, medical or physical, financial, and emotional.

If you start dating someone who you think can become a serious relationship, you need to have the talk. Hopefully she will be supportive of you and want to be at your side. Life has no guarantee of perfect health. However, I don’t recommend that this becomes the subject of a first date conversation. You will likely scare someone away before they have the opportunity to get to know the real you.

Good luck with your search looking for love online.

Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert?.?She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at

Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert. She's an award-winning dating coach who's been helping singles find love online for 25+ years. Follow @JulieSpira on IG.

1 thought on “Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert: To Tell or Not to Tell”

  1. Let’s me clear – I’m NOT that Bruce.

    When I was dating, I was always impressed when women would tell me about having Herpes early on. I think that is brave and very much appreciated. I’d tell them that I’m partially bald after all, though I only posted photos with hats…lol.

    All irrelevant as I’m married now. BUT, honesty always works and Julie is right, as usual.
    .-= Bruce Sallan´s last blog ..NEWS OF THE MOMENT =-.

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