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Beating the Post-Valentine’s Breakup Blues

Broken HeartThe phone has been ringing with newly heartbroken singles whose relationships sadly ended after Valentine?s Day.? Some singles want to jump back online and find themselves staring at their ex’s online dating and Facebook profiles. Others need more time to recover. I spoke with ellie, the queen bee and founder at pink kisses about this dilemma. We commiserated, bonded, and together we’ve decided to help heal some hearts.

It?s a great treat to feature ellie and her co-founder amy with their thoughts about the breakup season. They’re my kind of gals.

Beating the Post-Valentine Breakup Blues

by ellie scarborough & amy lynch of

ellie and amy -
ellie and amy -

Valentine?s Day has been hyped up since the days of cheap paper cartoon cards with lollipops stuck through the center.? We all went home one day each year with a bunch of obligatory doilies and dimestore candy stuffed into our backpacks, and February 15th was just another day.

Now that we?re adults, the annual schmoopfest is every bit as ubiquitous as it was back then, but it takes on a different meaning these days.? In a way, even though it?s billed as ?the most romantic day of the year,? it somewhat ironically signals the end of ? well, couples season.? It starts with the age-old ?do I or don?t I take you home to meet the family? question just before Thanksgiving, cruises beneath the mistletoe of December and pauses for a much-anticipated (and sometimes overrated) midnight kiss on New Year?s Eve.? There?s so much societal pressure leading up to mid-February that, once the candies have been devoured and the roses have died, it?s no wonder so many couples start splitting up before the spring.

At, we?ve been hearing lately from girls whose boyfriends called it quits right after Valentine?s Day.? And it?s not a huge surprise that with spring break coming up, lots of college couples are going their separate ways as well; in fact, a study of Facebook noted recently that the weeks leading up to spring break are a peak time of year for statuses to switch from ?in a relationship? to ?single.? The bottom line is this: although temperatures are starting to warm up and flowers are beginning to bloom, lots of relationships are cooling and the victims left in their wake are probably feeling a little wilted right about now.

But here?s the thing: while the end of a relationship may signal a low point, bringing out all your insecurities and temporarily damaging your sense of self-worth, you don?t have to wallow in the mire.? In fact, you can flip your so-called ?low point? on its ear and create a turning point out of it.? Sure, it?s necessary to take some time to grieve the loss of what you once shared with your ex, but a breakup offers a hidden treasure: the opportunity to start fresh ? not just with your dating life, but with your entire life in general.

All that time you were spending with your ex can now be spent doing? well, whatever you damn well please.? The pursuits you weren?t making room for in your life can now take center stage.? You may be feeling small, but in reality you?re standing on a perfect platform for transformation.? The weeks and months following a tough breakup present an amazing opportunity to — as we like to say — find your inner badass. Think of it as a clean slate. It?s a chance to take control of your life and emerge stronger, wiser and happier on the other side.? Make no mistake: no matter when, how or why it all had to end, moving on and living well is most definitely the best revenge.? And in the end, it?s sweeter than any Valentine chocolates could ever be.

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Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert. She's an award-winning dating coach who's been helping singles find love online for 25+ years. Follow @JulieSpira on IG.

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