It’s time to share a personal story today that I was truly touched by. Wearing sloppy workout clothes, ?without any makeup or lipstick (Sorry mom. I know you told me daily never to leave the house without my lipstick on), I stopped by the local grocery store to pick up some soup, bananas and avocados for the weekend.
As I was walking through the parking lot, struggling with a very heavy tote bag to my car, a handsome gentleman with a wonderful smile asked me if he could carry my bag. I was surprised by his offer and welcomed kind gesture. Sure I looked my worst, but that didn’t matter. I looked like a damsel-in-distress and he wanted to lend a hand.
He shared a story with me that made him want to pay it forward. He had just left the post office minutes earlier. On line standing in front of him, was a woman who only wanted to purchase one stamp. When it was her turn at the counter, she asked the postmaster for one U.S. stamp. Another man in line overheard her request and stepped in. ?He offered to buy a full booklet of stamps for the woman who only needed one. He didn’t ask for the balance of the stamps left in the booklet. He didn’t want the woman, whom he had never met, to have to stand in line again the next time she only needed one stamp. He purchased the booklet of twenty stamps and handed it to the woman. He became her knight in shining armour.
This chivalrous gesture, with nothing expected in return, ?made this man a hero– not just to this woman, but as a role model to the other men in line.
As I heard the story of the postage stamp while walking to my car, the handsome gentleman asked for nothing in return, but for me to listen to his story. It made me feel wonderful that chivalry was still alive and well.
I shared a disappointing story with him from the night before. ?I was waiting in line in a parking lot to pay for a ticket for my spot. Two men in line ahead of me helped each other with the payment machine when one was short of change. When it was my turn to pay, I found out the credit card machine was not working. I asked the two gentlemen, who were attending the same business conference that I was, if I could borrow one dollar and reimburse them when we got to the hotel lobby or write them a check. Rather than helping a business associate and a woman alone in a parking lot, they said no and left me stranded in the parking lot alone at night.
One of the two men had the nerve to call me attractive, but wouldn’t lend me a hand or one dollar. It made me lose hope in that moment that chivalry was dead.
So guys, think about this and read these two stories again if you need to. Do you want to be one of the two men in the beginning of the story? Would a simple gesture like offering to purchase postage stamps for a woman in need or carry a grocery bag for a woman to her car in broad daylight be something that you would want to be remembered for? Do you want to be that guy? Or, do you want to go down in history like the latter two men and leave a woman, a business colleague alone in a parking lot struggling to find change for a broken parking meter?
Think about it. Chivalry is alive and well. Kudos to the two strange men who wanted to lend a hand with no expectations in return. There are all kinds of relationships, but the one that starts with kindness, is the one to remember.
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Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert. She's an award-winning dating coach who's been helping singles find love online for 25+ years. Follow @JulieSpira on IG.
No doubt chivalry is alive. For getting a good match only being chivalrous is not enough. There are many factors to get a perfect match.
It appears that women want to be treated equally, i.e. like men. Until it becomes inconvenient that is, at which point women want chivalry and white knight behavior.
Sorry ladies, chivalry is dead and you killed it.
John, I’m sorry that you feel Chivalry has become obsolete. I know plenty of men still enjoy opening a door. Ladies should appreciate their gestures.