Dating Advice - Are We Dating or Just Hanging Out : Cyber Dating Expert
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Dating Advice – Are We Dating or Just Hanging Out


Cyberdating Expert Julie Spira at BlogworldIn this week’s “Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert” post, we’re going to tackle the issue of the relationship status.

It’s getting very blurry these days to determine whether you’re actually dating someone, or just hanging out as friends.

A 25-year old college student told me that she’s never been more confused about dating in her life.

After chatting and texting with a guy she met online for several weeks, he sent her a text to say, “Hey, let’s hang out tonight.”

So, what does hanging out mean?

Hanging out could be several things.

1. He might have a party to go with and they’d be hanging out with a group of friends.

2. It’s his way of saying I’d like to have a date with you tonight.

3. He’d like to hook up for a casual fling.

4. He’s testing the waters, so keeping it cool to see if he likes you or not.

Whatever the intention means when someone says, let’s hang out, one thing is for sure, singles are confused about their relationship status with members of the opposite sex. Whether they’ve met while cyberdating or out-and-about, dating in groups has added to the confusion for many singles.

When I digged a bit more into her “relationship” with her texting beau, I found out he her took her out to dinner. He paid for dinner. He gave her a short kiss after dinner. He went back to texting with her for several weeks and then asked her to hang out again.

The Digital Dating Process

The digital dating process does include flirting via text to stay in touch, emails back-and-forth, and putting actual dates on the calendar.

The rise in popularity of group dating, where singles who like each other hang out in a group and go to an event together, makes most women unsure of where they stand in the relationship, or if they’re even in a relationship at all.

My response to her was, “Yes, you did go on a date.” She wasn’t sure if he was just being chivalrous and kind by paying for her dinner, but they didn’t go “Dutch” treat and he did ask her out again.

Is he her boyfriend? No. Just because he sends texts daily, doesn’t mean you’re status has been elevated to boyfriend or girlfriend. Chances are he’s playing the field, having fun, and doesn’t really want a steady girlfriend. More than likely, it’s a flirtationship, which is a common place in between friends and being in a relationship. He has an active online dating profile and she has an active online dating profile.

Read: How Do You Know if You’re in Flirtationship Mode?

If a man really wants to make you his girlfriend, he’ll let you know. He won’t want anyone to claim you as his and will make his intentions known.

Are you confused about your relationship status?

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Need help with your dating life? Find out how our Irresistible Coaching programs can help you date better and find love online.


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4 Responses to “Dating Advice – Are We Dating or Just Hanging Out”

  1. Autumn on June 26th, 2016 11:26 am

    My best friend and I just admitted we have feelings for each other. We have discussed what would happen if we did have a relationship and that we’ll remain best friends. He asked me what this makes us. I don’t know how to respond. I was going to say that we are just “us.” No labels just yet. I’m shy when it comes to relationships and I don’t really like other people knowing because I feel judged. I don’t want to call him my boyfriend yet and we aren’t “dating”. Are we just seeing each other?

  2. Julie Spira on June 28th, 2016 7:46 am

    Hi Autumn,

    Some of the best relationship start as friends first, so you’re probably off to a good start.

    There’s no need for a label until you start dating officially. Then you’re
    “dating.” Once you decide to become exclusive, it’s fair to say you’re seeing each other. Eventually you might want to start calling him your boyfriend, but labels don’t matter as much as feelings.

    As long as you have continuity in your relationship and are both happy with the pace, keep open to the possibilities of where it will lead. There’s no need to change your Facebook relationship status to make a big announcement. At some point, one of you might want it to become more serious than the other or you may just say you want to go back to friends.

    I applaud you for admitting your true feelings and hope this relationship evolves into something that makes you both happy.

    Keep me posted!


  3. Chelsey on March 1st, 2017 7:12 pm

    I have been “hanging out” with this man for almost four months. I stay over, we text and call each othet everyday but he introduces me as his friend. When I ask if I’m his girlfriend he says not.

    When I tell him I’m confused and don’t casually date or have friends with benefits and want a relationship, he doesn’t respond. He says I should know and I tell him I really don’t know where he stands and it is starting to become frustrating. Am I being used?

  4. Julie Spira on March 21st, 2017 10:16 am

    Hi Chelsey,

    “Hanging out” is also considered by many has “hooking up.” If he won’t call you his girlfriend after four months, and he says you’re NOT his GF, believe him and find an available man who’d be proud to call you his girlfriend. There’s no confusion here. It sounds like FWB to me, so don’t be so available and find someone who will be proud to put that label on you.


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