Is CyberDating for You? : Cyber Dating Expert
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Is CyberDating for You?

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Cyber-Dating Expert

Cyber-Dating Expert

Quite often I am asked to define what cyber-dating truly is. It’s simple. You have a computer, recent photos, and hobbies that you are passionate about. You sign up for an online dating service, create a profile and connect via email and date with the help of your computer.

In order to determine if dating online is for you, consider the following scenarios for successful cyberdating.

  • You are single and are looking to connect with another for a meaningful relationship.
  • You are looking to get married.
  • You are looking to hook-up and have a casual relationship.
  • Your friends are not fixing you up.
  • You are computer savvy and organized.
  • You are considering signing up for an online dating service.
  • You hear about others finding love online and you are home yet another Saturday night alone.
  • You HAVE the time to invest in finding someone to connect with.

Cyberdating isn’t for everyone. But, it’s a method of meeting a large quantity of people when your dating pool has dried up. There are singles who are now looking for love online, who just a few years ago wouldn’t be caught dead being seen in an online dating site. With all of the publicity of Internet dating, with thousands of thousands of singles who are being successfully matched, it’s a means to an end. Sign up, connect, and retire the online dating profile.

Sounds easy, right? Well it’s not. There are those rare couples you will find featured in the Cyber Love Story of the Week who have met, fallen in love, and sometimes have met within days or weeks of joining their online dating site. I love to spread the news of these happy stories.

Unfortunately, for every one of these stories, there are many more from singles who have had dates showing up that don’t look like their photos, married men pretending to be single, and serial daters who are in it for the thrill and ego boost.

My suggestions for successful cyberdating are as follows:

  • Cast a wide net. Not every date will be the love of your life, but you might get lucky and make a new friend
  • Take your time. There’s no magic number of how many dates you need to go on. Consider it an adventure.
  • Be specific in your profile. Narrowly identify what you are looking for in a partner and the types of activities that you enjoy
  • Be honest. Yes, that means tell the truth about your age, weight, and height. If you fall into the common trap of shaving a few years off your age to fit into a search, you are doing yourself a disservice. Come clean in your profile, or at least by the first date. I know of men who have walked out on dates when they found out the woman wasn’t honest about her age.

Try a free trial membership from an online dating service in our Dating Community. Dip in one toe at a time. You might be happy with the results you end up receiving. If it’s overwhelming, take a break and try it again in a few weeks. Looking for a job can be tough and competitive. So is cyber-dating.

Julie Spira is a dating coach and the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at

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