Online Dating Advice - How Often Can He Cancel? : Cyber Dating Expert
In the News

Online Dating Advice – How Often Can He Cancel?

1 Comment
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

A reader is concerned that her date isn’t that into her due to how frequently he cancels his dates.  Are you experiencing this? Here’s our expert advice for this online dater.

Dear Cyber-Dating Expert,

I met this great guy online and we’ve been emailing each other back-and-forth for three weeks now. He left to go on a business trip right after we connected, but managed to email me daily to stay in touch. When he returned, he had to cancel our first date due to a work conflict, so I understood. We rescheduled for later in the week, but the night before he canceled as he said he was getting ready to go out of town again and wanted to reschedule in a week or so.

If it’s this hard to put a first date on the calendar, is he just a busy guy, or do you think he’s juggling me with several other women and is waiting to see if he likes someone better?

Confused in Atlanta

Dear Confused,

Online dating can be overwhelming, especially when you’re writing to multiple people and your hopes get high when you think you’ve connected with someone who could be “the one.”

Men are frequently defined by their business success and if he’s truly a busy executive, he might not have the time to put into a relationship and meeting right now. It’s easier to become a digital pen pal and write emails late at night when the work day is over than to schedule a date on the calendar which might conflict with a work obligation.

Also, remember that you’re both members of an Internet dating site with active profiles. Not everyone thinks they’re in an instant relationship, even if you’re texting each other daily and flirting digitally. If he’s dating multiple women, that’s fine. You should be dating multiple men and not putting all of your eggs into one digital basket. Play the field and talk to several men. He’s not your boyfriend and if he can’t find time to schedule a first date with you, you might get frustrated when he won’t be able to schedule follow up dates as well.

One thing I know for sure is when a man wants you to be his girlfriend and doesn’t want other men pursuing you, he’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen and will show his level of interest. Without meeting you in person, you’re still a bunch of photos of someone he might connect with, when and if he has the time.

Related: Dating Exclusively, But He Has An Active Dating Profile

The best advice I can give you is to be busy and date others. If he asks you out and it fits in with your schedule, then go ahead and meet this man you’ve been excited about for almost a month. If he continues to cancel on you after you’ve met in person, then he’s just not an available guy. Move on.

Some people believe in a three-strike rule and if a date cancels three times, it’s just not worth your while. Give him the benefit of the doubt about his job, but realize that you will probably be lower on the totem pole than his career, should you get involved with him.

Do keep us posted if you meet this mystery man.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira

Do you have a burning dating question?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.



One Response to “Online Dating Advice – How Often Can He Cancel?”

  1. Debra on March 11th, 2016 1:32 pm

    Two strikes and they’re out, for me. Is this something you want to deal with going forward? Either the person can’t plan ahead, has found something they regard as better, or the date simply isn’t a priority. No thanks to any of it!

Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!