Online Dating Observations : Cyber Dating Expert
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Online Dating Observations

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The American University School of Journalism’s Graduate School decided to do a story about online dating. Online dating is extremely popular in Washington, DC. When they asked me for some advice, I put in my two-cents for their article entitled, Online Dating Horror Stories.

Don’t run away just yet. The piece has a positive spin filled with dating advice and suggestions to make your cyber dating experience one to enjoy.

Julie Spira's Online Dating Tips

by Michael Flynn

More people are using their Internet connection to make a love connection ? sometimes with shockingly negative results.

A recent?BBC World Service poll found that almost one in three Internet users have gone online to look for love, using sites such as and But it’s not all hearts and cupids..

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Julie Spira, bestselling author of “The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online,” provides advice on her Web site,? Of course, most people won’t admit that they’re overweight, a racist or a cheater in their descriptions. Spira revealed that deception in online profiles is pretty common.

“I believe in authenticity in your online dating profile, but I can’t force people to tell the truth,” Spira explained. “It’s very common for singles to deduct five to 10 pounds off their actual weight and age. Also, men on the shorter side will add approximately 2 inches to their height. It’s the biggest complaint I hear from singles when their date doesn’t look like their profile photo. How often does it happen? Quite often.”

Spira said having a sense of humor will help you get through the bad experiences online. Of course, all examples of online dating don’t end in nightmares. In fact, three of the singles interviewed said they had found long-term relationships by using online dating.

To try and have the best online dating experience Spira offers these tips:

1. Find the time. ?You need to carve out an hour a day or at least three days a week on the online dating site of your choice. If you can take the time to go to the gym and to see your friends, you should add online dating to your calendar.?

2. Be organized. ?Does it sound like a class project? Well, almost. I suggest that you create an Excel spreadsheet and list the screen names of those you are interested in writing to and those who have contacted you. Create columns for screen name, age, occupation or school, marital status, height, weight or anything that will keep your interested parties on your list. Color code those you have written to in one color, and select another color for those who have written to you. After a while, you’ll see who rises to the top of the sheet.?

3. Create a catchy screen name. ?Just like a newspaper headline will capture your attention, so will creating an enticing online dating screen name. Steer away from generic names, such as your first name and a few numbers afterwards. Think about a hobby that you enjoy and incorporate it into your screen name. I have used ?Paperback Writer,? and both Beatles fans and other writers felt comfortable in sending me an introductory e-mail.?

4. Copy plus paste = erase. ?Women have caught onto the fact that many men copy and paste the same introductory e-mail to a group of women all at once. If your e-mail doesn’t appear to be personalized and seems canned, don’t expect to get a reply.?

5. It’s all about the photo. ?Both men and women are visual. I suggest that your profile photo either be taken professionally or have a friend with a digital camera and a good eye take some photos of you. Make sure your primary photo doesn’t have your buddies or the extra arm hanging over your shoulder. First impressions matter. Think about your dream job and the perfect resume that you will be sending to your future employer. Make sure your profile is your personal resume to get your dream date.?

6. Respond in a timely manner. ?Forget the old rules of waiting for three days before you write back or call the object of your affection. With online dating, if you play the waiting game, chances are her ?inbox? will be full of other potential male suitors. By the time she hears from you, she may be getting ready to retire her profile. If you like him or her, seize the opportunity and let them know.?

7. Cast a wide net. ?Online dating and social dating have become more acceptable as Facebook continues to increase in popularity. You may not be meeting the one, but you may likely find a new friend, a business opportunity, or your date might just have a friend. Don’t discount the first date if there’s no chemistry.?

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One Response to “Online Dating Observations”

  1. Tim on May 4th, 2010 5:58 am

    The picture in the online profile is definitely “the sell”. While it is definitely important to have a good one, I don’t like it to be too professional…it looks too staged. A casual photo showing something that the person enjoys doing always gets me.
    .-= Tim´s last blog ..Best Online Dating Sites =-.

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