Top 15 Questions for the Online Dating Expert at Match Stir : Cyber Dating Expert
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Top 15 Questions for the Online Dating Expert at Match Stir

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Cyber Dating ExpertIt was a busy night at the first mixer of the year in Los Angeles with for their new members to mingle, get photos, and ask me any burning dating questions they had to make the most of their membership during the busiest month of the year, January.

Held at The Phoenix in Beverly Hills, over 100 singles lined up to get their profile photos taken and to find out how they can be more successful with online dating.

Here were some of the top questions single men and women were asking. We’ll be answering them one at a time in upcoming articles on

  1. Should women be initiating contact with men?
  2. How should I begin with online dating now that I’m widowed?
  3. How many pictures should I be posting on my profile photo?
  4. How long should my emails be? Should I reveal all about myself?
  5. I come across as very direct in my profile. Is that scaring men off?
  6. I don’t like texting and won’t text during the day. The guy I’m dating is annoyed that I won’t respond. What should I do?
  7. I haven’t had a date in 3 months on Match. Am I playing too hard to get?
  8. My screen name is my first and last name. Is that ok?
  9. I had an email exchange with a guy four times in one day. I’m not writing back to him, even though it’s my turn. If I do, will I appear needy?
  10. I’m new to online dating and already had two bad dates. Should I give up?
  11. What should I write to a woman to get more responses?
  12. How much should a man reveal about his occupation?
  13. Which photos should I include in my Tinder profile?
  14. Why aren’t women writing back to me?
  15. How long should I wait to ask for a commitment?

To start with, let’s answer the first question that multiple women had asked. Some of them were traditional with old-fashioned values and didn’t believe a woman should initiate contact with men. While these women were attractive, they weren’t filling their date cards and were not utilizing all the simple features to maximize their time on Match.

You need to be engaged in the process and an active participant

Here’s the thing. The more engaged you are in the process, the more successful you will be in meeting quality people and turn your dating life into a rewarding relationship. I say, don’t wait. Initiate!

My first recommendation is to log on daily and review your daily matches that the site selected for you. Don’t just click yes on the green icon, but take that extra step and send an email, as Match reports he’ll be 15 times more likely to respond to an email. You can view his photos and profile before drafting your email. This way you can make it more personalized. Remember to keep your emails short, no more than five sentences, and ask a question. Refer to something he said in his profile and click on send.

Match email

Once you’ve gotten into the habit of writing to your daily matches, take it a step further and look to see who has viewed you and then do your own search. Stick to the formula of five sentences in an email, make it personalized, refer to something he said in his profile in the search column, and start sending emails every day.

Remember, men get frustrated when they send out lots of emails and don’t receive many replies. Your email will stick out and he’ll be flattered to see it in his inbox.

At the end of the digital day, the more engaged you are in the process, the better your experience will be and you’ll be able to take your online relationship offline.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Do you have a question for Julie Spira? Send your questions to

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.


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