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To Dump Or Not To Dump In An Email

With modern technology and our addiction to our Blackberries and iPhones, pushing the send button has become as common as brushing your teeth.

My friends at Your Tango wrote an article today in favor of the easy-way-out called Is It OK To Break Up Via Email? We Say Yes. Here’s my dating advice on the subject.

I’m a firm believer that you should think before sending an email to show your anger towards a loved-one, and more specifically, I don’t believe in dumping your significant other in an email or a text message.

Sure if you have only had a few dates, sending an email to say “I’m not the one for you. Good luck with your search” can be considered polite as compared to the guy who just doesn’t call you back.

In my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating, I describe the Top 10 Rules of Netiquette for Online Dating. One of these rules is the “Break-Up Rule.” It’s number ten on my list. It’s relationship 101.

? Never break up with a significant other in an email. It?s just common courtesy to have a conversation and preferably in person.

I was once the recipient of a very well thought out break up email. ?I was advised by the man that I was engaged to marry, that I was no longer a fiance. From where I sat, it was cowardly, cruel, and unilateral. ?I never spoke to him again. It was a relationship that started and ended in cyberspace.

I’m a believer that you treat someone the way that you want to be treated. Do you really want to go down in history as the person who dumped your LTR via email? Remember, emails are easily forwarded.

I’d be interested in all thoughts and comments.

The Life of The Cyber Dating Expert

Having a career as a writer and dating advice columnist allows me to meet interesting people.? I hear about their quests to find love online. I share their success stories in the Cyber Love Story of the Week. I write about their dating disasters in the Peril of the Week. I interview interesting people in the world of online dating. I love my life.

Often, I am asked about my personal life. Many wonder who am I currently dating. They ask me if I have met someone online. I have met hundreds. ?They want to know what online dating sites I recommend. I answer with, ?There?s something for everyone.? I hear, ?What was your best date?? and ?What was your worst date?? Sharing personal information with the popularity of Facebook and other social networking sites has not only become the norm, but it has become expected. Years ago it would have been considered exploitation. Now it is fondly known as status updates and tweets, filled with friends, connections, and followers.

As I sit here on the one-year anniversary of my first published book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, I reflect on why I felt the need to share my personal stories and why I became so passionate about helping others find love on the web.

It was 16 years ago when I posted my first online dating profile. I was a charter member of Love@AOL. It was before the days of and high-speed Internet. I learned then, as I know now, the vast opportunities that can be found on the Internet. I was a former radio broadcaster, turned Internet executive. Along the way, I became a super-successful cyberdater.

I reinvented my former radio career and every Saturday enjoy interviewing online dating CEOs and bestselling relationship authors on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show where I educate singles on all the options on finding love online.

Although I made the conscious decision to reveal very personal stories– some which were extremely painful, others hilarious, and some heartfelt, I have also made the decision to keep my present personal life private, for a while at least.

For now, I will continue writing about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World. I am appreciative for the many online dating sites that feature my articles. I have a whole new group of friends who are authors and dating experts. I enjoy educating and entertaining my audience. I am often told that I have made a difference in the lives of singles who can relate to my stories. I help people fall in love online. My personal experience and advice has touched many. This brings me joy.

On this very important one-year anniversary of my book release and radio show launch, I am very grateful. As I read ?the two?Los Angeles Times articles today written by Whitney Friedlander called, Make it personal, keep it real and Finding the Right Online Dating Service, where I provided dating advice on Valentine?s Day, I know that I made the right decision in publishing my tell-all memoir. In the manner that I normally end my radio show, I will end this article as well with, “I look forward to seeing you in cyberspace.”

Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at

Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt

Weekly Flirt 12.9.09

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Cyber Dating Tip – An Apple a Day

Apple on Laptop

Who said the only way to meet someone in the digital world was on an online dating site?

While I am a fan of online dating, there are many singles who haven’t dipped their toe in yet to the world of cyberspace. Almost half of the U.S. single population have tried online dating (source: US Census bureau). Where does the other half go if they are technically challenged or prefer to meet someone offline first?

There are the usual spots: coffee shops, cocktail bars, and singles dances. Still, some singles don’t want to venture out alone.

Do you want my suggestion?

Here you go. If you are a Mac user or have an iphone, sign up for their lessons at the Apple store. Their One To One program is available at the time you purchase your Mac or iphone and only costs $99/year. They have both private lessons and small group lessons available and there’s a full schedule to select from.

Why do I suggest going to the apple store to meet a potential date? It’s a low-pressure way of easing into a conversation with someone who may be able to share their experiences with you. You may walk out of the store with a new friend, a date, or in Hollywood perhaps even an agent. ?With their free wifi service, it’s easy to check your email while someone else may be checking you out.

Remember, men really do like smart-educated women. You never know, you may become the new apple of their eye. Better yet, you will be keeping your computer in tip-top-shape while you wait for your Inbox to fill up from interested parties from your favorite cyber-dating site.

Julie Spira is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at