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International Kissing Day – Are You Ready for that First Kiss?

national kissing day

You don’t need to be watching a romantic-comedy to know that a first kiss can be the beginning of a beautiful romance, or not.

On Friday, July 6th, it will be International Kissing Day, so if you didn’t kiss that hottie during the fireworks display on Fourth of July, here are some tips from our friends at Coffee Meets Bagel to get it right.

This week will be one of the busiest times of the summer, with Coffee Meets Bagel telling me they saw a 33% jump in sign-ups on July 3rd and 21% on July 4th last year.

Match has declared Sunday, July 8th as the busiest day of the summer for activity on their online dating site.

RELATED: Summer Profile Dating Tips You Can Make Instantly

From French kissing, to how many dates should you go on before that first passionate kiss, here are some kissing turn-ons and turn-offs.

Coffee Meets Bagel Kissing Survey

  • 42% of women and 40% of men say the best time to lean in for the kiss is near the end of the date.
  • 49% of women want the kiss to be light and gentle with lips closed, followed closely with 47% pf want a deep kiss with no tongue.
  • 47% of men find bad breath a turn-off and 31% of women gave a thumbs down to too much tongue or saliva
  • 64% of women and 58% of men agreed that the magic length of the first kiss should be 2-5 seconds. Anything longer would be a turn-off and anything shorter doesn’t measure up.

RELATED: The Benefits of Dating While on Vacation

If you’re nervous about leaning in for the first kiss, don’t be. The Coffee Meets Bagel survey found that only 2% of both men and women found just a peck with lips barely touching a turn-on.

One tip that I always recommend at the end of a date, is to ask the person permission for a kiss. Just simply saying, “May I kiss you goodnight?” will show you respect your date and you’ll get the cue if it’s safe to lean in for that smooch. 

So grab your lip gloss, bring some breath mints, and get ready for a week of kissing.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may kiss, swipe, or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Summer Love – The Benefits of Dating While on Vacation

Summer Heart

If your date card is empty, try casting a wider net and schedule some summertime dates, out-of-town.

The summer heat is rolling, school’s out, the airports are crowded, and it’s time to start thinking about summer love and your very own fireworks display.

The Fourth of July holiday is around the corner, National Kissing Day, just two days later on July 6th, and Match predicts the busiest day for dating this summer will be on Saturday, July 8th.

With that in mind, it’s also a busy time for online dating, with new singles joining dating sites to find a summer romance, or maybe even more.

As a dating coach, I always recommend that singles expand their search by changing their zip codes. If you knew the person of your dreams was in another city, would you be willing to hop on a plane to meet him or her?

RELATED: Pucker Up. It’s National Kissing Day

To make it easier to date while in vacation mode, I have two approaches that work well.

1. Act like your in vacation mode.

Have you ever noticed how friendly people are while they’re on vacation? They let their guards down and don’t size each other up based on their resumes and work history like they do at home. As a result, it’s easier to strike up a conversation with someone who’s sitting next to you on a plane, or poolside as you sip on a frozen libation. If your summer doesn’t include a fantastic trip to the Greek Islands, why not act as if you’re there? Try smiling more often, engaging with someone who’s not your usual type, and even the playing field while leaving work behind.

2. Go on a Date-Cation

This means getting prepared in advance, by joining or being very active on an online dating site before you leave, using mobile dating apps when you’re there, changing your profiles to indicate that you’ll be on vacation and listing the city, and going on dates every day while you’re gone. 

While the thought of becoming a serial dater while on vacation might not sound appealing, it’s effective, and you’ll have an opportunity to be the out-of-town girl or guy everyone wants to meet.

While I recommend going into the vacation zone for singles, whether they’re home or venturing out to another city, don’t just take my word for it.

RELATED: Summer Dating Profile Tips You Can Make Instantly

Online dating site Plenty of Fish polled over 1500 singles in the U.S. aged 18-60 to find out how they felt about dating while on vacation. It turns out the majority (over 70 percent) were open to the opportunity to go on a date while out of town.

While I’m not an advocate of the ‘Mile High Club,” 52 percent of singles in the POF survey had experienced having a great conversation with someone on the plane, and 20% actually hooked up on a plane or a train.

If you find yourself seated next to someone attractive and exciting, be bold and take it a step further.

Ask the person who you shared your life story with at 15,000 miles in the sky if they’d like to meet for a drink or go to a museum while you’re in town. 

Some other fun facts from the survey include:

  • 49 percent of singles had gone on a date while on vacation. 
  • 40 percent of singles had a vacation fling.
  • 22 percent of singles fell in love while on vacation.
  • 46 percent used a dating app to scope out singles in another city before traveling there. 
  • 16 percent of singles ended up in a long-term relationship with someone they met while on vacation.

All of these possibilities are just a click, swipe, or smile away.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

5 HOT Dating Tips for Summer Love

Summer Heart

There are many reasons why having a summer romance has become a popular trend. The weather is warm, your outfits show more bare skin, it’s bikini weather and beach volleyball time, chemistry is proven by science to heighten in the sunshine, and the list goes on.

With Fourth of July around the corner, it’s time to think about the fireworks in the sky and in your relationship.

Here’s how to have a sizzling hot summer filled with love and romance online and IRL

 1. Change your mobile dating app and online photos to include outdoor shots

Replace the winter ski photos, with boating, water, golfing, hiking, and anything that includes sunshine.

2. Start Using Emoticons and GIFs in Your Messages

 Many mobile apps including Tinder and Bumble include the option to use giphy, which is a lot of fun. If you seem like a fun person to be around, you will get more matches and your date card will start filling up.

 3. Host a Barbecue

Barbecue

Invite your single friends and ask them to bring another single friend. Grilling is fun and guys love taking charge at the BBQ. Make it a pot luck event and start getting out IRL.

RELATED: 10 ABSOLUTELY Fun Dating Ideas for Summer

4. Change Your Relationship Status to Single on Facebook

Facebook Relationship Status

You might still be recovering from a breakup, but facebook could be the world’s largest dating site if they wanted to be. Change your relationship status and you might find a secret crush emerging. Be open to the possibilities.

RELATED: When to Change Your Facebook Relationship Status

5. Log on Twice a Day to Dating Apps and Sites and Reply Promptly

via GIPHY

I have a saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” Ditch those old waiting rules and remember, when someone joins a dating site or mobile app, it’s because they want to meet someone. If you wait around a day or two, don’t be surprised if you hear back that they’ve met someone and want to date exclusively. Don’t underestimate chemistry. When a couple clicks, they often stop dating to see where the relationship will go.

At the end of the digital day, smile as bright as the sun to find a great reflection called love.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

 

10 Absolutely Fun Summer Dating Ideas

Hello Summer!

You crept up fast.  It’s time to list some of our best date ideas for summer love for when you’re done swiping right on mobile dating apps, have been successfully matched on dating sites, and it’s time to meet IRL.

Happy dating and enjoy the sunshine!

 

Baseball heart

1. Go to a baseball game

It’s the season for America’s favorite past time. Nibble on peanuts and Cracker Jack and enjoy the 7th inning stretch.

Check the MLB.com website for dates and times.

Not in a baseball city? Find a minor league game near you.

 

 

Festival concept.

2. Find a free outdoor concert

Combine summertime, being outdoors, and music, and it’s a great recipe for love.

Bring a picnic meal and a blanket and take in the sounds of local artists in your area.

Some museums and parks actually have well-known musicians performing, so check your local papers and online sites.

 

Ferris Wheel - Summer Date Ideas

 

3. Ride the Ferris Wheel

Go to an amusement park and ride the Ferris Wheel or even the roller coaster, if you dare.

Feeling like a big kid on your date will be fun for everyone involved. If you’re on the top of the Ferris Wheel, lean over for a magical kiss to remember.

 

Drive in movies dating ideas
 

4. Watch an outdoor movie

While drive-in theaters have become obsolete, the trend of watching movies on a big screen at a shopping center, or local park has become all the rage.

Remember to bring a blanket to bundle up in with your date for when it starts to get cold towards the end of the evening.

Bar-B-Q or BBQ4. Barbecue

Nothing says more of hot fun in the summertime than grilling with your date.

Make sure to go grocery shopping together to spice up the date. Cooking together can be filled with laughter. Don’t forget to pick up chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers to make s’mores for dessert.

 

bike riding date

5. Go on a bike ride

Bicycle paths seem to be more abundant and more filled in the summertime. Make it even more memorable and romantic by renting a bicycle built for two! Remember to take photos, and of course, ask for permission before posting to Instagram or Facebook.

 

Beach Yoga Date

6. Take a Beach Yoga Class

Yoga is sexy on a date and saying you’re a yoga enthusiast will get more views and right swipes to your dating profiles.

Remember to bring your sunscreen and relax while you feel the connection with your date. 

If you don’t live near a beach, check out the many outdoor classes held in parks across the country.

 

 

Chefs at work

7. Take a cooking Class

Cooking together is just sexy! Creating a dish together that you can make on a future date at home is considered a form of foreplay.

Stores such as Sur le Table nationwide have cooking classes on their calendar. If you can’t find one near you, check out the local universities and colleges or a MeetUp group for foodies.

car icon set illustration

8. Snack at the Food Trucks

Many neighborhoods have a food truck day. Find out which day or night they’ll be parked in your neighborhood.

From a vegan or healthy green truck to  spicy Mexican cuisine, there’s a favorite truck for every type of palate!

 

Zoo dating10. Go to a zoo

For G-rated petting fun, head to your local zoo to feed the animals.  Take it a step further and walk into the petting zoo and spend time with the llamas and sheep.

Remember to check with your date to see if they are allergic to animals.

 

Remember to memorialize your fun outdoor summer date by snapping photos. Who knows, you just might end up with a nice kiss at the end of the date to add to your digital memory book.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for online dating advice.

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She coaches singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs to help them find love IRL.

What Happens to Relationships When Summer Ends

text end of summer on beach

Summer Love Affairs

From teenage crushes to boomers with empty nests, something odd happens around Labor Day weekend for many relationships. When you hit the 3-month mark, the honeymoon phase, it’s common to see a shift. It may be a tell tale sign that your relationship can’t go the distance, or you just might be getting tested for the next phase.

For those flying solo, the end of summer can be a reflective time thinking about your relationship status as you head into the holiday season, kicking off with Labor Day.

When summer is over, wardrobes change in closets, the temperature starts to dip, and inevitably a summer romance, one that went from Memorial Day to Labor Day, often runs its course. It’s often a time where relationships fall by the wayside. Before you call it quits, read this entire post to determine if your relationship is worth saving. If you’re already single, then I have good news for you. You’ll be in good company with many others who are looking for someone just like you and this weekend will be hopping digitally, big time.

Also, with students leaving for college, some students will find themselves in a long-distance relationship, which has its own set of challenges.

Single parents with children going back to school, will find their calendars split between parent-teacher meetings and filling up their date cards. It’s a new season, so get ready for the ride.

If you’re logging on to dating sites more often this weekend, you’re not alone. Sunday will be a peak day of the holiday weekend for new sign ups and log ins for singles who’d like to change their status to “In a Relationship” before the year is over.

Does a Change of Season Mean Your Relationship Has to End?

With the change of seasons, how do you know if you can handle a long distance relationship this fall? If your significant other is still in town, how do you know if your passionate summer love was just a fling or the real thing?

If you notice your relationship is tapering off as we lead into Labor Day, should you part ways as friends now that summer is over and wish each other well, or sign up for another season of love? These I can guarantee you are questions that you will be asking yourself. I suggest you take the time to really think about the next relationship stage.

Related: How to Handle the Dreaded Pull Back

The Four Seasons of a Long Term Relationship

I’ve always said that long-term relationships should go through multiple seasons to determine if you’re compatible with your significant other or not. Yes, winter, spring, summer and fall. All of them, each with their unique beauty and differences can help you pass the test of time.

First Three Months

As cliché as it sounds, we know there is some validity to the three-month honeymoon phase. At first, you’ll find everything about the other person to be exciting. It’s like having a first crush all over again. From giggles and hiccups to their exercise regime, you just suck it all in like a sponge that won’t dry out in those early days, especially in a summer romance. All those cute text messages are becoming part of your daily regime. It gives you a high just to hear the customized sound of your partner’s text tone.

When these relationships peak in the summer, it’s often hard to tell whether it’s lust or love with all of the outdoor heat, but oddly, as the summer ends, it’s not unusual to start receiving less text messages from your beau, or to want to spend more time with your friends instead. The days in between getting together seem to be getting longer while the days start to become shorter. The routine of your love life just isn’t as exciting as it used to be.

Months 3-6

During months 3-6, the “imperfect stage,” don’t be surprised if your single friends see your steady sweetie’s profile reactivated online. He or she may just be fishing to see who else might send a text or email, even if they aren’t setting up any dates. Then a Facebook check in mysteriously appears when someone is supposed to be home sick and boom, they’re busted and you’re in tears. During this phase, you should be enjoying time with each others’ friends and family to see how everyone fits in, or not.

If you can relate to these feelings or sequence of events, the problem may not be with the calendar, but more often-than-not be related to serious commitment issues that one of you may be struggling with.

The next think you know, someone isn’t sure if they’re feeling it anymore. Rather than be honest about the relationship, they’re cultivating conversations on Facebook with high school or college pals to create distance, and the trust dissipates. It’s the beginning of the end and it hurts big time.

Weather changes, months change, routines change and even those relationships with the best of intentions run their course. At the end of the summer, it’s like the end of the calendar year. People reevaluate their relationship statuses and decide whether to renew for another three months.

Related: What to Do When He Pulls Back

By months 6-9 and 9-12, you’re probably in a committed relationship. You’ve defined the relationship and might even talk about moving in together or the future.  This doesn’t mean you won’t feel a shift at the end of the summer. It might be just a bump on the road, but it’s a time to review your relationship status and see if you’re on the same page.

What to Do if Your Summer Romance is Fading

If you feel a distance growing between the two of you, this is what you need to do.

Have the conversation first with your partner sooner, rather than later.

Don’t toss away the relationship so quickly. Acknowledge all of the amazing things you’ve done together as a couple and honor the memories you’ve shared. Ask the other person if there’s anything they can do to keep the relationship alive. Space apart isn’t the end of the world, or even the end of your relationship. Often someone needs some time to miss the other and pulls back to regain their sense of self and individuality.  Remember, bumps on the road are an opportunity for personal growth within a relationship, and are not necessarily the beginning of the end.

Say goodbye gracefully.

If at the end of your conversation, you feel you aren’t compatible or if someone has already strayed, wish each other well before you start logging on or swiping right on your mobile apps looking for a replacement.

If it’s really over, it’s important to mourn the loss of your relationship, because your friendship, bond and the daily connectivity will abruptly end. Trying to get together immediately as friends during this emotional time is not a good idea. It will backfire. There’s no such thing as a mutual breakup where everyone is happy. One person might think it will lessen their guilt. I’m here to tell you that it won’t. You fell in love with someone for a reason, not a season.

Related: Time to Let Go of Your Ex

Take a breather and make time for you!

If you find that your summer love has ended, don’t reactivate your online dating profile or mobile dating apps for at least a week. Sure it’s great for your ego to get people lining up to meet you for dates, but it isn’t fair for someone new not to get the best version of you. Dating while you’re still pining away for your ex can increase your sadness. You’re a walking-wounded person and it’s healthy to take a break.

Can you Really be Friends with Your Ex?

Some people stay friends with their ex’s and have no problem with it, but I can tell you it doesn’t happen seamlessly and instantly. My ex-boyfriend is one of my best friends, but it took time to get to that point and we had a serious talk about boundaries. Also the guy I originally wrote this article about three years ago just sent a text over Labor Day weekend, after disappearing many years ago.

After enough time has gone by and you both have moved on with other relationships, it’s possible to be friends with your summer romance in another season, but in my experience, you truly need at least three to six months to segue a romantic relationship into a real friendship (without benefits or jealousy).

But then again, do you really want to be friends with someone who broke your heart?

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram. Sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.

7 Online Dating Photo Tips to Rock Your Summer Profile

Match tells us things will be heating up this summer online, specifically on June 27th, the busiest day of the summer. They asked me to write a post for their blog with some tips to freshen up your online dating profile for summer.

As someone who’s been creating dating profiles for two decades, I can tell you that neglecting to refresh your profile and keeping it stagnant might result in an empty date card. Ouch. It’s summer and you should be having fun, right?

Since you switch your wardrobes for the summer season (out with the wool and in with the white), let’s do the same with a digital facelift for your online dating and mobile dating profile photos.

Photos

Men and women are visual creatures by nature, it’s just a fact of life! The first thing we see about anyone is their face, so profiles without even one photo will be passed over in a digital moment.

  1. What’s the number? Besides your main profile photo, you should have a handful of other pictures that depict you in different settings and showcase your personality. In my opinion, five is the magic number of photos to upload to your profile. Four to six is perfect. Anymore, post them on social media instead. Any less, and someone will wonder what you’re hiding.
  2. Grab a BFF and Have a Photo Party. Don’t like taking pictures of yourself or find it impossible to decide on the best pictures of you? One fun and easy way to snap more pictures of yourself is to grab a best friend and either a digital camera or high quality smartphone camera. Then, put on a your own fashion show by shopping in your closet and picking out 3-5 great outfits that make you feel your best!
  3. Use Social Media Photos. Another tip is to head over to your Facebook profile and grab your best, smiling/happy pictures to add to your dating profile. Make sure to caption the photos with the location and date the photo was taken so members will know they’re recent.

 

4. Wear red! For the ladies, you should ditch the little black dress so you don’t look like every other profile photo. Research from the University of Rochester has shown that photos of women wearing red get more views and more dates than any other color. Red is the color of love and passion, so it’s a no-brainer!

5. Ditch the selfies. We are dating in a selfie-crazed world, so it’s more than normal for your Instagram feed to be loaded with fun selfies. However, for your dating profile, selfies don’t always make you look your best or most social. Have someone you trust to hold your phone when you have the urge to take a selfie for dating profile purposes.

6. Look to the left. Studies have shown that when you look to your left, your best emotions will shine. However, if you’re looking to the right in your favorite photo, that’s no problem! Just use some photo editing software or a simple photo editing app to reverse the image to get a left side-facing photo.

7. Wear summery outfits. Find something fun, colorful, and summer-like to wear in your profile shots. A well-fitted t-shirt and jeans works well for the guys, whereas ladies do best in a flirty sundress. To speak more to the season, take down the snow skiing shots and replace them with photos that show summer-based activities, like water skiing or lounging by the pool. That said, try to avoid posting any sort of swimsuit picture — you don’t want to show too much too soon.

To read the full post with more tips, check Match.com’s blog here!

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and as an early adopter of online dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.  Julie ranks as the most influential person in “dating” and “online dating” in social media. Follow her @JulieSpira on TwitterInstagram, and Facebook and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

Quote of the Day: First Day of Summer

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day Summer

It’s the first day of summer and is sizzling hot in many places. Let us help you fill your summer with love and joy.

@JulieSpira

Online Dating Expert

Check our our Irresistible Profiles to help fill your date card.

Julie Spira on Chicago’s WCKG Radio with Eddie Volkman

Eddie Volkman - WCKGOn Wednesday, June 8th at 6p/CT, I’ll be a guest with Eddie Volkman on WCKG Radio in Chicago.

Eddie and I had such a blast last time I was on the show, that I’ve been invited back for a lively discussion on dating in the digital age.

We’ll be talking about finding summer love, as Match is predicting the hottest day of the month will be June 27th for online dating.

From ghosting, the epidemic disappearing act, to the best tips for your online dating profile, and swiping right on mobile apps, we’ve got you covered with the best dating advice.

Tune in and listen LIVE or visit WCKG.com to listen to the live stream. Call in with your questions about dating, love and romance.

We’ll be live tweeting as well, so follow @EddieVolkman , @JulieSpira, and @WCKGChicago to join the conversation.

 

10 Summer Dating Ideas to Add a Spark to Your Romance

Big red Heart shape on sandy beach by the oceanIt’s almost summer and the street fairs and music festivals have already begun.

With Memorial weekend around the corner, it’s time to start thinking about fun things you can do with your date.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we’ll help you with that magical spark with fireworks both online and offline.

Here are ten of the best summertime first date ideas for all relationship statuses.

Happy dating and enjoy the sunshine all summer long.

 

Ferris Wheel - Summer Date Ideas

1. Ride the Ferris Wheel.

Go to an amusement park and ride the Ferris Wheel or even the roller coaster, if you dare.

 

Festival concept.

2. Find a free outdoor concert.

Bring a picnic meal and a blanket and take in the sounds of local artists. Some museums and parks actually have well-known musicians.

Drive in movies dating ideas

3. Watch an outdoor movie.

While drive-in theaters have become obsolete, the trend of watching movies on a big screen at a shopping center or local park has become all the rage.

Bar-B-Q or BBQ

4. Barbecue.

Make sure to go grocery shopping together to spice up the date. Cooking together can be filled with laughter. Don’t forget to pick up chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers to make s’mores for dessert.

bike riding date

5. Go on a bike ride.

Make it more memorable by renting a bicycle built for two! Remember to take photos and of course, ask for permission before posting to Instagram.

Beach Yoga Date

6. Take a Beach Yoga Class.

Yoga is sexy on a date. Remember to bring your sunscreen. If you don’t live near a beach, check out the many outdoor classes in a park.

Chefs at work

7. Take a cooking Class.

Stores such as Sur le Table nationwide have cooking classes on their calendar. If you can’t find one near you, check out the local universities and colleges or a MeetUp group for foodies.

car icon set illustration

8. Snack at the Food Trucks.

Many neighborhoods have a food truck day. Find out which day or night they’ll be parked in your neighborhood. From the healthy green truck to a spicy Mexican cuisine, there’s a favorite truck for every type of palate.

Baseball heart

9. Go to a baseball game.

It’s the season for America’s favorite past time. Nibble on peanuts and Cracker Jack and enjoy the 7th inning stretch. Check the MLB.com website for dates and times. Not in a baseball city, find a minor league game near you.

Zoo dating

10. Go to a zoo.

It’s fun to feed the animals at the zoo Take it a step further and walk into the petting zoo and spend time with the llamas and sheep.

Don’t forget to memorialize your fun outdoor date by snapping photos. Who knows, you just might end up with a nice kiss at the end of the date to add to your digital memory book.

Follow @JulieSpira for online dating advice and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She coaches singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs to help them find love offline.

Saying Goodbye to Your Summer Romance

Summer LoveMemorial Day to Labor Day relationships. They’re rampant, but with the change of seasons, many couples re-evaluate their relationship status.

If you’re questioning whether your summer romance has an expiration date on it and are wondering what to do next, these dating tips should help you on your romantic journey.

As summer is nearing its end, many students are now returning to school and single parents will now have a much different schedule to adhere to.

So with the change of seasons, how do you know if you can handle a long distance relationship this fall? If your guy is still in town, how do you know if your passionate summer love was just a fling or the real thing?

If you notice your relationship is tapering off as we lead into Labor Day, should you part ways as friends now that summer is over and wish each other well, or sign up for another season of love?

I’ve always said that long-term relationships should go through multiple seasons to determine if you’re compatible with your significant other or not. Yes, winter, spring, summer and fall. All of them, each with their unique beauty and differences can help you pass the test of time.

As cliche as it sounds, we know there is some validity to the three-month honeymoon phase. At first, everything about the other person is exciting. From giggles and hiccups to their exercise regime, you just suck it all in like a sponge that won’t dry out.

When these relationships peak in the summer, it’s often hard to tell whether it’s lust or love with all of the outdoor heat, but oddly, as the summer ends, it’s not unusual to start receiving less text messages from your beau. The days in between getting together seem to be getting longer while the days start to become shorter. The routine of your love life just isn’t as exciting as it used to be.

During months 3-6, the “imperfect stage,” don’t be surprised if your single girlfriend sees your guy’s profile online, where he’s just fishing to see who might write to him, even if he isn’t setting up any dates.

After that, you may find out about a few Facebook chats that were incorporated into the routine to create distance between the two of you. Someone notices a Facebook check in, he’s busted and there’s a major explosion.

If you can relate to this feeling or sequence of events, the problem may not be with the calendar, but more often-than-not be related to serious commitment issues that one of you may be struggling with.

The next think you know, someone isn’t sure if they’re feeling it anymore. Rather than being honest about the relationship, they’re cultivating conversations on Facebook with high school or college pals to create distance, and the trust dissipates. It’s the beginning of the end.

Why do so many of these relationships end when the summer is over?

Weather changes, months change, routines change, and even those relationships with the best of intentions run their course. At the end of the summer, it’s like the end of the calendar year. People reevaluate their relationship statuses and decide whether to renew for another three months.

If you feel this is happening to you, have the conversation first with your partner sooner, rather than later. Don’t toss away the relationship so quickly. Acknowledge all of the amazing things you’ve done together as a couple and honor the memories you’ve shared. Ask the other person if there’s anything they can do to keep the relationship alive. Remember, bumps on the road are an opportunity for personal growth within a relationship, not always necessarily the beginning of the end.

If at the end of your conversation, you feel you aren’t compatible or someone has already strayed, wish each other well, before you start logging on for love looking for their replacement.

It’s important to mourn the loss of your relationship, because your friendship, bond, and the daily connectivity will abruptly end. Trying to get together immediately as friends during this emotional time is not a good idea. It will backfire. There’s no such thing as a mutual breakup where everyone is happy. One person might think it will lesson their guilt. It won’t. You fell in love with someone for a reason, not a season.

If you find that your summer love has ended, don’t reactivate your online dating profile for at least a week. Sure it’s great for your ego to get people lining up to meet you for dates, but it isn’t fair for someone new not to get the best shot at you. Dating while you’re still pining away for your ex can increase your sadness. You’re a walking-wounded person and it’s healthy to take a break.

After enough time has gone by and you both have moved on with other relationships, it’s possible to be friends with your summer romance in another season, but in my experience, you truly need at least six months to segue a romantic relationship into a friendship. But then again, do you really want to be friends with someone who broke your heart?

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, where she’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

Photo credit: sandra zuerlein – Fotolia.com

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