So you’ve made it this far. You like what you’ve read in his online dating profile and everything is checking out. Now, there’s only one thing left to do; get the conversation started. Don’t worry, it’s a lot easier than it seems. After all, you don’t have to be spontaneous or quick on your delivery. You can take all the time you might need to write a gripping email that will engage him.
Here are Nine tips for snagging him with email
1) Write a clever subject line. On many local dating sites your subject line is your first impression, so you need to make it pop! The key is to somehow relate to him using various approaches. Perhaps he’s a foodie as well. If so, consider writing, “from a fellow foodie” or if you know he’s into art try something like, “art event on a first date?” Pick something that really stood out to you and use it to your advantage to capture his attention.
2) Personalize it. Once again, select specific elements from his profile and incorporate them. For example, if he says that he’s optimistic and has a sense of humor then mention that those things are important to you. Perhaps you like his smile – mention that as well and even add a smiley face emoticon.
3) Don’t write a novel. That’s not to say keep it short. Though he might be interested in your life story, chances are he doesn’t want to hear it all at once. Leave the longer conversation for the first date. The goal in writing this email should be to pique his interest and leave some mystery so he responds. Writing too much in an initial email could mean more effort for him to reply and he might put your message on the backburner as a result. Keep it simple and don’t over think it. Try to focus on a couple of things that are important and let the conversation grow from there.
4) Ask a question. He will be more likely to respond if you ask him a question – this could be anything. Make it lighthearted or serious to get the conversation started.
5) Show your personality. Everyone loves someone with personality. This makes dating more fun. Show him a slice of who you are in your tone and delivery. If you’re soft spoken and shy, there’s nothing wrong with mentioning that. If you have a sense of humor, crack a few jokes. Perhaps you have a type-A personality. If so, there’s nothing wrong with sharing a story about your personality type. Just make sure to be you and be honest and authentic. He will appreciate it a lot more than receiving a generic message.
6) Don’t sound desperate. No one wants to date someone who is needy, so try to keep your email casual. Try not to come on too strong, otherwise he might label you as needy or desperate. The first email is just an introduction and exploration to see if you two are even on the same page. And remember, you are just as much the chooser as he is the picker.
7) Be clear in your message. The last thing you want to do is confuse him. You have all the time in the world to string together thoughts and ideas of why you’re writing to him. Take your time, relax and have fun with it. Just make sure that your email flows and it’s relevant to something that he can relate to. Communicating a strong, clear, and concise message says a lot about someone and he will notice the effort you’ve taken in contacting him.
8) Use bold text. Not everywhere. Just the main points you’re trying to get across. For example, if you really want him to know that you love dogs, write I really love dogs too and he’ll know just how much dogs mean to you. Do this for anything you might be passionate about.
9) Reference date ideas – Mention a few local activities that you are into, see what kind of responses you get. Positive reactions to these outings could be good indications for where you might end up going on a first date.
We hope these tips will lead to more clicks that lead to better conversations. Good luck!
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Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert. She's an award-winning dating coach who's been helping singles find love online for 25+ years. Follow @JulieSpira on IG.
