The Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert mailbox is filling up these days. Many of the questions are from men who would like to move their relationship from online to offline.
Here’s a question from Tim who can’t seem to get past an instant message.
Dear Julie,
I recently started online dating and I have gotten decent responses, but when I ask the women to chat or talk, I never seem to get a reply.
What??can I do to take it to the next step and have girls reply to me?
Tim
Dear Tim,
You are not alone with your frustrations with online dating. Keep in mind that online dating is a numbers game. Some singles are online enjoying chat rooms and aren’t interested in a serious relationship. They may like social dating or just the companionship from their computer screen.
If you are looking for a serious relationship, these are not the women you should be wasting your time with.?There are many women online who would like to hear from you. Here’s my advice.
BE PROACTIVE
My suggestion is to be proactive. If you find someone you would like to communicate with, ask for their email address and phone number. Find out when the best time to contact them will be. If you call a woman and she doesn’t return your call, she may be just busy, or she could be juggling several men. After all, you are both members of a dating site. Try waiting a few days and calling a second time. If she doesn’t return your call, move on.?Period. Erase her name from your database and continue on your search.
RETHINK YOUR SEARCH CRITERIA
If you are attracting women who aren’t interested in talking to you repeatedly, take a look in the mirror and do a personal inventory. Perhaps the image of the woman you want to attract doesn’t really meet your criteria. Change it up a bit and try contacting someone whose profile is different than the ones who have ignored you.
KEEP IT SIMPLE
Make sure your initial emails or instant messages are brief. Say something fun and flirty to pique her curiosity so she will want to be available for your calls. Long-winded instant messages and emails are a turn-off to women. I say leave the baggage at home.
MAKE A DATE
After you have spoken on the phone, if you feel there is phone chemistry, ask her out and put a date on the calendar. You need to move your relationships from online to offline as soon as possible so you can see if you have a connection in person.
I wish you all the best of luck with your search.
Julie Spira
Cyber-Dating Expert
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Julie Spira is known worldwide as the Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and host of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com
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Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert. She's an award-winning dating coach who's been helping singles find love online for 25+ years. Follow @JulieSpira on IG.
Tim asks a great question. Many people are there just to chat…or perhaps they do not want to meet in person because they are not who they say they are…they may even be married. It also helps to be on a dating site that is known for people wanting serious relationships.
.-= Tim´s last blog ..Best Online Dating Sites =-.
You may have not intended to do so, but I think you’ve managed to express the state of mind that a lot of individuals are in. The sense of wanting to help, but not knowing how or where, is something lots of us are going via.