Peril of the Week - Reading, Writing, Rudeness : Cyber Dating Expert
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Peril of the Week – Reading, Writing, Rudeness

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Peril of the Week

My mother always taught me to be polite, even if I was on a date that I knew wouldn’t go anywhere. “You just never know what friends your date might introduce you to,” she would say. Even in a recent Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show, Shira Kallus, Relationship Advisor at told listeners to be nice and well-behaved on a date. She made a point of advising singles to think out of the box as your date might introduce you to your soulmate.

So, when later that day I saw an email from a man who viewed my online dating profile, who had no photo displayed on his profile, it was a bit suspect.

The subject of his introductory email simply said, “Nothing.” “Nothing?” I thought there could have been a better introduction.

When I read the body of his email, I was stunned. This total stranger, without a photo, decided to insult a woman who enjoys reading Vanity Fair. Perhaps he was having a bad day. He stated, “Your intelligence can be determined by what you read, and it certainly can be stimulated by penetrating reading.”

He added, “Vanity Fair is definitely not an example of profound literature, but it’s the only reading that apparently you’ve done recently and that you’re proud to share with others. I can’t imagine that your book has any depth if what you’ve been feeding your brain is essentially tabloid trivia.”

Tabloid trivia? Was his opinion the only accurate one? Did he know for sure that my favorite magazine was the only one that I had read recently? Have I been intellectually stimulated over the years by my favorite magazine? Absolutely. Was he not aware that I read the Wall Street Journal on occasion? Did he not know that I have an extra high IQ? Did he actually expect a response after insulting me? ?I’d love to take a peek at his Outbox as clearly his date card was not filling up. No photo, no manners. Next….

Julie Spira is a dating coach and author of the online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at


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