Love vs. Trump: Is Politics Polarizing Relationships?

It’s been one-year since Donald Trump took office, and singles are still dealing with the big political elephant in the room, our commander-in-chief and his tweets.

During the election, and in the aftermath since Trump became president, talking about politics has become critical when dating someone new, and to those within their existing relationships.

I recently wrote an essay, Can Love Survive Trump, where I revealed my big confession on how I struggled in my relationship with my long-term love. He had strong and vocal opposing views from mine when it came to politics.

As a dating coach, I believe I provide good dating advice on how to navigate the singles scene, even with politically opposite views. I also really believe in having a good debate. While coaching others on how to talk about politics on a date, I found I didn’t take my advice and kept silent about my complicated relationship status. I now feel liberated, and continue to coach and write about the great political divide.

Politics has become so divisive in dating, that conversations that start at the breakfast table end up on opposite sides in the bedroom. They often no longer include, “Sweet dreams” and a hug.

When one person walks in the Women’s March wearing a pink hat, and the other is jumping for joy about the new tax reform, it’s clear that talking about differing political views need to happen on the first date, if not sooner.

Dating Sites Weigh In

In a Match Singles in America study, they showed that talking about politics on a first date will result in a 91% chance of putting the second one on the calendar.

OkCupid found that 50% of its users won’t date someone with opposing political views. The site also found that users mentioning political words in their profiles increased by more than 1000% from 2015 to 2017.

The site, known for asking provocative questions, has 19 questions about politics. “Trump?” received the most answers, with 74% responding “hell no” and only 4% answering “hell yes.” The most answered question was “Should guns be allowed in schools?” The most polarizing question is, “Did Russia hack the last US election?”

Mobile dating app profiles now include political terms, or instructions to “swipe left if you vote for Trump,” or “swipe right if you think Trump’s making America great again.”

Tinder states that 71% of their users won’t date a Trump supporter. Their Modern Dating Myths, released in April of 2017 showed, “Opposing political views were getting more left swipes.” Nine out of 10 of my dating coaching clients said that having similar political views with their dates are important to them.

Coffee Meets Bagel tells me their poll of 1320 members showed that the majority, 70%, who are Democrats said politics was impacting their dating lives, as compared to 43% of Republican singles.

Plenty of Fish conducted several surveys on politics and dating in 2016 and 2016 and offered some promising news.

POF found while the current political climate is tense, it’s starting to lighten up. They found that less than 1% of singles used the terms “Trump” or “Republican” or “Democrat” in their profiles. They also said that 90% of people had not broken up with someone over political views or party affiliation since the election and recommended not talking about politics on a first date.

Experts Weigh in on Trump and Politics

I spoke with Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Science Officer at Match, who said, “If singles feel very strongly about their political views, they should add it to their profiles.”

CNN Political Contributor and KABC Radio co-host John Phillips agrees with Fisher. “If both people are passionate and care about politics a great deal, it could be a problem,” said Fisher. “But then the relationship is probably doomed anyway.”

Dr. Fisher’s research indicates that people gravitate towards people who share their values. “For couples who are polar opposite politically, they just have to agree to disagree and find a way to respect each other,” Fisher said.

“People are going to stay strong in their positions because we aren’t talking about how you butter your toast,” said Fisher. “Things with the Dreamers and the immigrants is real and taps into basic values.”

Deal breakers for singles used to include height, smoking, and religion. They’ve been replaced with politics as a top deal breaker, with singles feeling more comfortable dating someone with same political views.

Phillips, who identifies as Republican, tells me that politics is more critical than ever in today’s dating world. “It’s more important than it used to be because the news has essentially become one endless talk show about politics,” said Phillips.

He believes politically charged opposite couples can co-exist in Trump’s America. “If Dodger fans can date Giants fans without the relationship ending in a 911 call, Trump and Clinton supporters can co-exist without domestic violence,” Phillips said.

Are we heading to a point where we can agree to disagree over an appetizer and enjoy crème brûlée for dessert? I sure hope so.

“There used to be water cooler topics. Now there’s one water cooler topic: politics,” adds Phillips.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years with the Irresistible Profiles programs.

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Chemistry’s Top 10 Cities to Find a Sensitive Man

Are you ready to change your zip code to find love online?

Our friends at Chemistry.com have?announced their Top 10 list of cities where you’re more likely to find a sensitive man.

Most of the cities on the list are on the east coast, except for Nashville, Indianapolis, and West Hollywood.

Dr. Helen Fisher, Chemistry’s Chief Scientific Officer and a former featured guest on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show?said,?”Men do have a sensitive side.” Fisher added, ‘They want to please. They want to do the “right” thing.

The Top 10 list includes:

1. Popmano Beach, FL

2. Roanoke, VA

3. West Hollywood, CA

4. Nashville, TN

5. Buffalo, NY

6. Sarasota, FL

7. Greenville, SC

8. Wilmington, NC

9. Indianapolis, IN

10. Staten Island, NY

Ready to dive in and find a sensitive man? Click here to sign up and remember to share your online dating stories at CyberDatingExpert.com.

Chemistry.com Free Communication Weekend 1/13 – 1/15

Full article @Chemistry Blog

Match.com Study Shows Single Parents Date More than Singles who are Childless

For those of you who are dating and are wondering if being a single parent will affect your love life, there?s good news for you. Match.com released their biggest singles study ever and the findings showed that not only do single parents go out on more dates than singles without kids, but more single parents (21%) are actively dating as compared to those without kids (16%).

The ?Single in America? study led by Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and chief scientific advisor for Match.com? and Chemistry.com? focused on key myths about singles. Dr. Fisher stated, ?I am fascinated to learn that men are just as eager to marry and have children, and more eager to compromise in a relationship.

Some of the key myths in the study included:

Myth: Young singles today are promiscuous.
Fact: More people in the 21-34 age group say they have never had sex. To be precise, 24% of men and 23% of women ages 21-34 are virgins.

Myth: I love you implies a serious commitment.
Fact: 31% of singles believe that ?I love you? means ?I want you in my life? and 30% believe it means ?I care about you.? Only 14% think it means ?I want to spend the rest of my life with you? and 19% that ?I want to have a committed relationship with you.?

Myth: Unemployed means unlucky in love.
Fact: 50% of singles would be open to dating someone unemployed if they found the person interesting.

Myth: Hook-ups never turn into relationships.
Fact: 36% of singles are open to a casual hook-up in the near future; and 54% of singles have had a one-night stand. 35% of singles have had a one-night stand that turned into a long term partnership.

Dr. Fisher appeared on Good Morning America where she stated, ?The single most interesting thing in the study is that 35% of men and women who had initially met someone they found not attractive, eventually later fell passionately in love with them.?

So how does this news affect online daters? Dr. Fisher said that singles are more willing to date outside their faith and ethnicity and the age gap between couples has widened. My advice for singles looking for love online, widen your search parameters on your online dating profile and be more open to the possibilities. Accept that second date and see if the relationship can develop.

Are you a single parent? Are you finding dating challenging or are you making the time and effort to have a love life? Comments are welcome.

For more details of the study, visit https://blog.match.com/singles-study/

Dr. Helen Fisher on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show

Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show, where my featured guest, Dr. Helen Fisher talked about her book,?Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type.

Dr. Fisher is one of the world’s leading experts on romantic love. You will hear her expert advice how to keep the novelty alive in your relationship.?As the Chief Scientific Advisor to the online dating site?Chemistry.com, a division of Match.com, Dr. Fisher created their Personality Profile test.

She’s narrowed people down to a science. You’ll find out why curious people go for other curious people and why negotiators are attracted to their exact opposite. Learn more about your personality type by listening to the radio show.

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show

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This Saturday, October 10, 2009, Dr. Helen Fisher will be the featured guest on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show with Julie Spira.

Dr. Helen Fisher is the author of Why Him? Why Her? and created the Personality Test as the Chief Scientific Advisor to Chemistry.com.

We’ll talk about the findings from her groundbreaking book where she identifies the four personality types to help you find and keep romance??Call in at 646-929-0012 at 2pm/ET, 11am/PT.
Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert on Blog Talk Radio