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Valentine’s Gift Giving for ALL Relationship Stages

Does it always have to be so complicated when giving gifts for  Valentine’s Day?  You can’t help but notice the red candy boxes everywhere you go and the pressure is on.

We’re here to lighten things up for you, so If you’re wondering what to get the new person you just started dating for Valentine’s Day, or perhaps you want to get something for your long-time love, we’ve got you covered, regardless of your relationship status.

READ MORE: Valentine’s Countdown: How to Land a Date

Here’s our Valentine’s gifts cheat sheet for all relationship statuses.

Newly dating – If you’ve only had a few dates and aren’t exclusive yet, bringing her 1 dozen red tulips will brighten her Valentine’s Day. You won’t be splurging for expensive roses or going overboard, but will still have the impact of bringing her flowers. Start her day off by sending her a fun Valentine’s e-card. I’m a big fan of Jib-Jab, where you can customize the card with a photo of yourself or send a video card. Bringing her lingerie sends a message that you’re only looking for sex (who isn’t?), but at this point she should be selecting her her own lingerie. Spending time together will be the best gift, because if you ignore February 14th, don’t expect to see her again on the 15th.

Going Steady – Honeymoon Phase (1-3 months) – If you’ve been dating for a month or two, she’ll be expecting to be your Valentine’s date if geography doesn’t get in the way. At this point, bring her a hand written card (yes the kind you buy in the store), add in a gift certificate for a massage at her favorite spa, or offer to cook her a meal and have in-room-dining and always bring flowers.  Other fun items include sending her a box of chocolate covered strawberries, or bringing a bottle of her favorite wine or champagne. This way you can feed each other when it’s time for dessert and create new memories together.

Getting Serious – Imperfect Phase (4-6 months) – By now you’ve become an item. You might have even changed your Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship” and have a drawer at her place. When you’re headed towards the half-year mark, she’ll want to receive roses from you, tulips won’t do. There are plenty of great sites online for you to order flowers from, or you can go to your local grocery store to pick up a dozen. When a woman doesn’t get flowers on Valentine’s Day from her guy, she starts to wonder if you’re still swooning over her. If you’ve taken a trip away together, bring her a personalized gift such as a silver framed photo of the two of you to memorialize your vacation together.

READ MORE: Surviving Valentine’s With a Long Distance Love

Sydney evan Love RingTotally in Love – Over 6 months  Once you’re headed towards the one-year mark, it’s time to up the ante in the love department. She’s going to want something very personal. If jewelry is in your budget, getting her a sterling silver heart necklace, trinket, or bracelet from Tiffany & Company, may end up on your list. I’m a HUGE fan of the Sydney Evan LOVE jewelry line and have been seen all over town wearing a love necklace. There are trinkets in all price ranges. For those of you ready to step it up, but aren’t ready to pop the Q, give her a lovely commitment ring or the Sydney Evan LOVE ring that’s been seen on many celebrities.  It will show you have all 10 toes in, without getting engaged or setting a wedding date.

It’s Complicated – The ex and almost ex – If your relationship is winding down or you’ve recently broken up, should you acknowledge someone who you didn’t go the distance with? Studies have shown that 20% of singles actually text an ex on Valentine’s Day. Whatever you do, don’t send mixed messages and send flowers to someone, when you’re in the arms of another. Trust me, it will sting. You can send them a birthday present, congratulate them on their new job, and call them on holidays to say hello. That is acceptable for every holiday, but Valentine’s Day. If you’ve moved on, sending chocolate covered strawberries shouldn’t be on your gift list. The best gift you can give, is the gift of time apart, so you both can move on.

READ MORE: Would You Text an Ex?

What will you be giving as a Valentine’s gift this year?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

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Holiday Gifts for a New Relationship

Gift GivingIt’s Christmas week and the stores will be packed with people picking up last minute gifts.

As a dating expert and coach, I know that for singles and those in new relationships, the holidays are filled with both joy and anxiety. It’s also peak time for online dating,  so don’t be surprised if your inbox starts to fill up with new suitors.

It’s also a time for where couples breakup, as the stress of being with someone you know you can’t go the distance with makes it difficult to be together for the holidays, especially if you’ll be with his or her family. We wrote about the famous Facebook Breakup Chart a few years back, where David McClandess showed that the period between December 12-24th was one of the peak seasons for breaking up.

So what should you do about buying him or her a gift for the holidays?

Let’s talk about holiday gift giving.

Could it be that your date doesn’t want to splurge on a fancy holiday gift if you’re in a new relationship, or if times are tough on his or her wallet? What should he or she do?

If you’ve just started to date someone you’ve met online and have only had a few dates, you may wonder if should you buy him or her a lavish gift, or any gift at all. What if you’re dating multiple people? Do you need to buy everyone a gift?

While the easiest solution would be to leave town for the holidays, or even put your head under the covers, know that you’re not alone with the gift giving dilemma.

Jenna wrote to me that that she’s been dating someone for four weeks, but both of them still have active online dating profiles. Although she believes they’re exclusive, they haven’t had the talk, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s an “implied exclusive” relationship and they might not be on the same page.

Jenna would like to give her new beau a holiday gift during one of their holiday dates. However, the subject of exchanging gifts has never come up in conversation.  She’s hinted about things she’d like in her stocking, but her new guy hasn’t asked her what she’d like for the holidays or made specific plans for Christmas or Christmas Eve just yet.

Jenna wonders if it’s too soon to be exchanging gifts and what she should do.

My take on the situation, is that you should always give a gift, without expecting one in return. If she sees that he loves filling in the blanks in the New York Times crossword puzzles, why not go to a bookstore or order a large puzzle book from Amazon? The cost is less than $20 and it will show the person you’re dating that you’re paying attention to things that interest him. It the thought that matters.

My boyfriend is a winemaker. He grew and nurtured his own grapes and bottled his own wine, complete with designing the wine labels. It’s something he enjoys and is proud of. For Father’s Day and his birthday, I gave him a wine stopper, one with a globe of the world on it to memorialize the trips we’ve gone on, and another with a golf ball on it, as he loves to play golf.  These cherished pieces showed him that I noticed what his passions were. Wine and golf.  Simple, but perfect.

Some new couples will take charge and ask each other what they’d like for the holidays. If this happens, then know that you’ll be gift shopping. For a new relationship, there’s nothing wrong with putting a budget on holiday gift giving, or suggesting going to a sporting event or concert together to celebrate an event together as a couple.

READ: THIS IS THE TOP GIFT FOR SINGLES

The worst thing you can do is to lavish your date with an expensive gift early on in the relationship. It may make him or her run the other way, or feel guilty that they haven’t reciprocated.

So just how appropriate would it be to give her a diamond watch or a new puppy?

Unless you’re in a serious relationship, where you have a history of buying each other a birthday present or other special gifts, don’t assume you’ll be receiving a gift, nor should you ever feel obligated to buy your date a gift. It’s impossible to ignore the holidays while listening to the Christmas songs on the radio and in the stores, but it’s the thought that counts.

Some of my favorite thoughtful gifts, which won’t break the bank include:

  • iTunes song of your date’s favorite band
  • Gift certificate for a movie and dinner
  • Gift certificate for a massage
  • A golf lesson
  • An accessory or charger for his or her iPhone/iPad
  • A gift certificate for a handyman for the day (for her)
  • A framed photo of the two of you
  • An animated card starring you! Shop JibJab!The worst thing you can do when you give your date a gift, is to ask him or her what they were planning on getting you, if it appears they aren’t reciprocating. You’ll make him or her feel uncomfortable about not taking the time to buy you a present, or they’ll feel obligated to pick up a gift and resentment could build up. It’s just too much pressure for a new relationship.

    Remember, the best gift you can give each other is time spent together creating new memories. A hug and a kiss under the mistletoe is priceless. Add a card and you have a recipe for a wonderful time together this holiday season.

    Julie Spira is an online dating and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, visit to sign up for the Weekly Flirt and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Valentine’s Gifts for Your Digital Sweetheart or BFF

Digital SweetheartIf you’re already friends on Facebook, the world’s largest social network is making it easy for you to send someone a Valentine?s gift this year, without having to leave the house or your computer behind. So don’t fret that Valentine’s is around the corner and you’re empty-handed.

Facebook Gifts

All you need to do is visit the profile home page of the object of your affection or a friend you’d like to spoil this Valentine’s Day and click on the pink gift box with the pretty red ribbon. Select a gift within your budget and then choose an eCard to go along with the gift. You’ll have the option to share that you sent a gift to your friend, long-distance love, or someone you might have a digital crush on.

Facebook will notify the recipient that they’ve received a gift from you. They can then provide their address anonymously and be surprised when it arrives.

Even if their gift arrives after Valentine’s Day, they’ll know that you made the effort to select it in time. If they don’t accept the gift within 2 weeks, it will be automatically canceled and your credit card will be refunded.

Not sure which gifts to select?

Here are five gift ideas to send to the object of your affection, or your BFF.

iTunes Gift Card.

iTunes Heart

Who doesn’t love music? Let him or her pick their favorite love songs this Valentine’s Day. $10-$50.

Starbucks Gift Card.

Starbuck's

If you went on a first date for coffee, and you know he or she is a caffeine junkie, you can memorialize the day with a gift card to Starbuck?s $5-25.

The L-O-V-E Strawberry Gram.

Chocolate Strawberries

These six juicy, premium strawberries are hand-dipped in delicious dark Belgian chocolate and decorated with white chocolate lettering to spell L-O-V-E or drizzled with colorful confection. Presented in an elegant gift box, they?re the perfect Valentine?s treat for someone who?s been waiting to hear those special three words. $15.

 

Anti-Valentine?s Candy.

Anti Valentine's Hearts

Sending a gift to your single friend? Check out the Anti-Valentine?s Candy, which celebrates his or her single-hood. You can let your friend know it’s time to “Stop Kissing Frogs” or encourage them with “Plenty of Fish in the Sea” candies. $5.

Pick Up Lines Coaster Set.

Valentine's Coasters

Looking for a last minute date? Try these cute pick-up lines coasters or send a set to your single friends to help them if they’re feeling shy. From “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again” to “Do you have a sunburn or are you always this hot?” they’re worth a chuckle or two. $15.

What do you want as a gift this Valentine?s Day?

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Fore online dating advice, visit CyberDatingExpert.com, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

The Tahitian Pearl Necklace

If you can’t make it to Tahiti, perhaps this stunning necklace with white gold and striking Baroque Tahitian pearls will make it onto your gift list this year. The Tahitian Pearl Necklace is simply elegant.

Red Roses for Your Lady

Wow her with two dozen fancy long-stem roses beautifully arranged with fresh foliage in a handsome glass vase. I’m sure she will return your phone calls and you will have made an impression to remember.

Stunning Two Dozen Roses Vased

Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend

You don’t need Marilyn’s approval to know that Diamonds are still a Girl’s Best Friend. ?This season, you can be seen in these stunning heart earrings which combine warm chocolate diamonds and black rhodium in a 14k yellow gold setting.