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Holiday Gifts for a New Relationship

Gift GivingIt’s Christmas week and the stores will be packed with people picking up last minute gifts.

As a dating expert and coach, I know that for singles and those in new relationships, the holidays are filled with both joy and anxiety. It’s also peak time for online dating,  so don’t be surprised if your inbox starts to fill up with new suitors.

It’s also a time for where couples breakup, as the stress of being with someone you know you can’t go the distance with makes it difficult to be together for the holidays, especially if you’ll be with his or her family. We wrote about the famous Facebook Breakup Chart a few years back, where David McClandess showed that the period between December 12-24th was one of the peak seasons for breaking up.

So what should you do about buying him or her a gift for the holidays?

Let’s talk about holiday gift giving.

Could it be that your date doesn’t want to splurge on a fancy holiday gift if you’re in a new relationship, or if times are tough on his or her wallet? What should he or she do?

If you’ve just started to date someone you’ve met online and have only had a few dates, you may wonder if should you buy him or her a lavish gift, or any gift at all. What if you’re dating multiple people? Do you need to buy everyone a gift?

While the easiest solution would be to leave town for the holidays, or even put your head under the covers, know that you’re not alone with the gift giving dilemma.

Jenna wrote to me that that she’s been dating someone for four weeks, but both of them still have active online dating profiles. Although she believes they’re exclusive, they haven’t had the talk, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s an “implied exclusive” relationship and they might not be on the same page.

Jenna would like to give her new beau a holiday gift during one of their holiday dates. However, the subject of exchanging gifts has never come up in conversation.  She’s hinted about things she’d like in her stocking, but her new guy hasn’t asked her what she’d like for the holidays or made specific plans for Christmas or Christmas Eve just yet.

Jenna wonders if it’s too soon to be exchanging gifts and what she should do.

My take on the situation, is that you should always give a gift, without expecting one in return. If she sees that he loves filling in the blanks in the New York Times crossword puzzles, why not go to a bookstore or order a large puzzle book from Amazon? The cost is less than $20 and it will show the person you’re dating that you’re paying attention to things that interest him. It the thought that matters.

My boyfriend is a winemaker. He grew and nurtured his own grapes and bottled his own wine, complete with designing the wine labels. It’s something he enjoys and is proud of. For Father’s Day and his birthday, I gave him a wine stopper, one with a globe of the world on it to memorialize the trips we’ve gone on, and another with a golf ball on it, as he loves to play golf.  These cherished pieces showed him that I noticed what his passions were. Wine and golf.  Simple, but perfect.

Some new couples will take charge and ask each other what they’d like for the holidays. If this happens, then know that you’ll be gift shopping. For a new relationship, there’s nothing wrong with putting a budget on holiday gift giving, or suggesting going to a sporting event or concert together to celebrate an event together as a couple.

READ: THIS IS THE TOP GIFT FOR SINGLES

The worst thing you can do is to lavish your date with an expensive gift early on in the relationship. It may make him or her run the other way, or feel guilty that they haven’t reciprocated.

So just how appropriate would it be to give her a diamond watch or a new puppy?

Unless you’re in a serious relationship, where you have a history of buying each other a birthday present or other special gifts, don’t assume you’ll be receiving a gift, nor should you ever feel obligated to buy your date a gift. It’s impossible to ignore the holidays while listening to the Christmas songs on the radio and in the stores, but it’s the thought that counts.

Some of my favorite thoughtful gifts, which won’t break the bank include:

  • iTunes song of your date’s favorite band
  • Gift certificate for a movie and dinner
  • Gift certificate for a massage
  • A golf lesson
  • An accessory or charger for his or her iPhone/iPad
  • A gift certificate for a handyman for the day (for her)
  • A framed photo of the two of you
  • An animated card starring you! Shop JibJab!The worst thing you can do when you give your date a gift, is to ask him or her what they were planning on getting you, if it appears they aren’t reciprocating. You’ll make him or her feel uncomfortable about not taking the time to buy you a present, or they’ll feel obligated to pick up a gift and resentment could build up. It’s just too much pressure for a new relationship.

    Remember, the best gift you can give each other is time spent together creating new memories. A hug and a kiss under the mistletoe is priceless. Add a card and you have a recipe for a wonderful time together this holiday season.

    Julie Spira is an online dating and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, visit to sign up for the Weekly Flirt and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

This is the Top Gift for Singles

A few years ago on Cyber Monday, The New York Post published an article that caught the eye of many singles entitled, Best Holiday Gift is a Date.

Forget the lingerie or tech gifts, if you’re single, you really want a great date, right?

On a day where shopping frenzy is at an all time high, singles are more worried about finding a date. It’s true that finding a date for the holidays is the number one stress for singles now.

Match says their traffic increases by almost 23 percent during the holidays. They claim that 59.5 percent of those polled said they’d prefer a kiss over a new laptop on New Year’s Eve.

Match found that 48 percent of respondents listed in their poll said finding someone to share the holiday with as their biggest end-of-the-year worry, while only 23 percent said they’re most anxious about finding the perfect present.

As an online dating expert and relationship coach, I agree with their findings.

Cyber-Dating Expert has shown a huge spike since Halloween and many singles signed up for the Black Friday and Cyber Monday specials, with the hope of finding someone sooner, rather than later.

Remember, if you’re a single woman who wants to couple-up, there are many single men who feel the same way during the holidays.

Let me help you find your dream date for the holidays and make it a better experience for you by creating your Irresistible online dating profile.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online and on their mobile phones for over 20 years. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

 

What Gift Should I Get My New Girlfriend for Her Birthday

gift giving for new relationshipsGift giving when you’re in a new relationship can easily move your status to “It’s Complicated” if you aren’t sure what to do.

Overwhelm her with 5-dozen roses on a third date will send her running for the hills. Giving her a card and a box of pharmacy candies may put you in the dog house. What should one do?

A recent gentleman wrote to me needing help on selecting a birthday gift for his new girlfriend of two months.

He met her on OKCupid and she actually sent me him an email first, which was rare for her and somewhat out of character because she admits to being shy.  The funny thing is, if he came across her profile he would have considered her “out of his league” and probably wouldn’t have contacted her .

Read on.

Hi Julie,

I’m 2 months into a relationship with a great woman (seeing each other now 1-2 times a week). My birthday was last week and I mentioned that I don’t usually make a big deal about it. I was sick, but she brought me soup and two cupcakes because “she wasn’t sure what my favorite flavor was”, I loved the sentiment.

My question is; Her birthday is next week and I’ve found a reasonably priced necklace ($80.00) very similar to one on her pinterest board and from a store she’s mentioned regularly. I’d love to get her the necklace along with the obligatory nice dinner, but I’m worried about making her feel awkward about the expense. Any thoughts?

The New Guy

Hi New Guy!

Thanks for your email and congratulations on your new relationship.

Birthdays can be stressful and confusing early on in a relationship.  If someone shows up with a card and candy, it might not be viewed as very romantic or thoughtful. If someone goes over-the-top and buys something extravagant, it can cause an unneeded pressure on the woman.

I think your suggestion of dinner and a necklace that looks like one you’ve viewed on her Pinterest board shows her that you are paying attention to things she likes (not many guys take the time to look at their date’s Pinterest boards) and adds a personal touch, since it shows that you listen to her when she mentions stores she likes. Because the gift is under $100 and within your budget, it isn’t over-the-top and I’m sure she would appreciate it, along with a romantic dinner to celebrate her special day.

I don’t think she’d feel awkward at all, but she’ll realize that you’re someone worth having in her life because you made the gift about her and not about yourself.

On a personal note, when I was at the 2-month mark with my boyfriend, he had the same dilemma. He didn’t know what to get me as a gift, but knew he wanted to do something special for me. Excited about our new relationship,  he selected a necklace with a mutual friend whom I had mentioned I really liked. The best part is that he picked it out on his own and loved it too!

It was a silver key on a chain, which is a popular look now. He selected a very simple one, not one filled with diamonds and I still cherish it today as something personal and intimate.

I think you’re right on track and your new girlfriend will be happy with the way you celebrate her birthday together. I know you think you’re a lucky guy to have found her, but she’s a lucky girl as well.

Keep me posted.

Wishing you much love and joy,

Julie

Do you have a dating question for Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.com. Want to stay in touch? Sign up for the Free Cyber Dating Expert Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

Fashion Pick – The PurseCase: A Must for Online Daters

Purse CaseBusy online daters can’t be without their Smartphones, for fear that the next text or email might be from that hunky guy you’ve been flirting with online.

Here’s a sneak peek of one of our favorite items that will be in this year’s Cyber-Dating Expert Holiday Gift Guide.

To add some spice to your iPhone’s look, we’re delighted to introduce the PurseCase. It looks like a purse on one side, and snuggly will fit your iPhone 4 or 5.? We love this accessory because you’ll look fun and flirty with your favorite color PurseCase, priced at only $29.99.

On one side, it opens up to reveal a mirror to check your lipstick and hair, with a pocket to store your drivers license, a credit card, a few calling cards and some cash. The other side will show your mobile phone safely protected in a rubber coating casing with your favorite color.

While speaking at Digital Hollywood recently, I spotted a friend sporting a pretty pink PurseCase and immediately ordered one of my own in pink. Ok, I’m hooked and my friends will be receiving one this holiday season.

Extra bonus: Our friends at PurseCase are offering Cyber-Dating Expert readers a sweet discount. Enter the promo code of cyberdating at check out to receive 20% off the full retail price of your purchase. This will make a terrific stocking stuffer, or you just might one in every color.

Visit PurseCase.com

Post your photos on Instagram #stylinanddialin

Holiday Gift Guide

Ho, Ho, Ho, It’s Here! The Cyber-Dating Expert Holiday Gift Guide

cyberdatingsantalarge

We’ve selected our top 10 favorite romantic gifts for the Cyber-Dating Expert Holiday Gift Guide.
Enjoy and Happy Holidays!

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Jewelry for Her

Rings by Julia Failey Jewelry

Julia Failey Jewerly – Eco-friendly collection of nature-inspired pieces.
This line has several celebrity fans including:
Kate Bosworth, Vanessa Minnillo, Ashley Jones and Cindy Crawford.

Diamond Vine Ring in Gold: Price $270 (without diamonds $75)
Diamond Vine Ring in Silver: Price $250 (without diamonds $55)

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Jewelry for Him

buffalonickelcufflinks

For When You Want His Ten Cents Worth

Buffalo Nickel Sterling Silver Cufflinks.

Price $40.00

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Fragrance

It’s Still Chanel

My favorite cologne for decades will never go out of style.
If I had ten stockings this holiday season, I’d be happy with ten bottles of Chanel No. 5.

Price $72.00

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Music

Michael Buble- Crazy Love

Michael Buble – Crazy Love

Love doesn’t have to be crazy, does it?
Michael Buble’s latest CD will certainly get you in the mood for romance.

Price $12.99

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In the Kitchen

Flirty Little Dinner Plates

Flirting While Dining

These hand-painted lipstick-red rimmed plates read, “hey, handsome!” and “hi, beautiful!”
They are meant to stir those butterfly feelings from a couple’s first in-home dining experience.

Flirty Little Dinner Plates: Price $70/set of 2

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A Candle for a Scandle

ScandalCandle

A Scandle? Why Not?

The Scandle is a candle that burns at 2 degrees above body temperature to produce a soothing oil for romantic massage. ? Made with 100% natural ingredients, it’s an ideal gift for a romantic setting and is a gift couples can share.

Cost $ 21.95

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A Kiss to Remember

SterlingSilverHersheysKiss

When a kiss isn’t just a kiss. This sterling silver Hershey’s Kiss piece will make going steady a lot more fun. It makes a good stocking stuffer to remember your first kiss under the mistletoe. Also available in diamonds.

Prices from $49 – $199

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Board Game

sexyslang
Sexy Slang Board Game

Charades for a Rainy Night

Has your Travel and Entertainment budget been cut?
Stay at home and create a game night with Sexy Slang.
It’s fun, flirty, and more. Think?Sex and the City meets?Trivial Pursuit.

Price : $29.99

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Electronics

The NEW Flip ULTRA

We’re Still Flipping Over the flip
Put this tiny video recorder in your purse to capture those romantic memories.
You can upload them to YouTube or keep them to yourself.
Price $149 and up

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The Ultimate Splurge

Dream Big, Fantasize More

Neiman Marcus Fantasy Gifts from their famous Christmas book.
My favorite: The Customized Cupcake Car.

Price: Varies

View Fantasty Video>>>

When You Wish Upon a Star

For the gift for someone who has everything, registering a star in the galaxy named after your loved one will leave him starry-eyed forever. ?At Name a Star Live you can pick out your star, view it?through an online robotically-controlled telescope instantly on your computer, and decide when you want it launched into cyberspace. His own personalized star from The?Cyber Love Shoppe??and?Name a Star Live.

Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend

You don’t need Marilyn’s approval to know that Diamonds are still a Girl’s Best Friend. ?This season, you can be seen in these stunning heart earrings which combine warm chocolate diamonds and black rhodium in a 14k yellow gold setting.