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Cyber Love Story – Melissa and Ross

Cyber Love Story - Melissa and Ross

Meet Melissa and Ross, who found love on Match.

When Melissa first came to me, she was nervous about hiring a dating coach, and just became single for the first time in 20 years. She was actually terrified of trying online dating for the first time.

We created her Irresistible Profile on Match, had a super-fun photo shoot, and went live her dating profile with the headline of “LA Farm Girl.”

Melissa loves animals, had lived on a ranch, and as a single mom of two teenage kids, needed to find someone who was devoted to his family like she was.

Ross, whose screen name was “Dog Lover” wrote to Melissa within a few days of her profile going live.

His first message said, “You are beautiful and too beautiful to be on Match.”

He asked, “Is that what you really look like?”

Melissa replied with, “I sure hope so. I just took the photos last week.”

Before she met Ross, 
Melissa went on three dates to build up her confidence and get out of her shell. “It felt a bit overwhelming,” she said.

RELATED: Moving from Best Friends to a Relationship

As Melissa and Ross continued to chat, they both realized they had much more than pets and children in common. Both had coincidentally attended the University of Southern California (USC) at the same time, were both enrolled in the communications program, and lived two houses apart. It was hard to believe that they had never met while in college.

Then one day, Ross sent her a message on Match and asked, “Are you done meeting these weirdos and ready to give me a chance?”

Melissa felt a connection with him and started doing her due diligence to vet Ross to make sure he was the real deal. One of her friends told her that Ross was a terrific attorney. Another friend of hers said they had built Ross’s house, and that their children went to school together.

“Everyone said wonderful things about him,” says Melissa.

Because they knew so many people in common, she felt safe about having him pick her up for their first date.

By the time they met, Melissa said they both felt like they had known each other forever.

For their first date, Ross arrived with roses, wine, and they went to dinner, where they felt a warm connection right away. “He was a real gentleman,” says Melissa.

“I knew when I saw your picture and when I heard your voice from the first conversation, that you were ‘the one,'” says Ross.

RELATED: How to Take Down Your Match Profile When You Meet The One

They quickly introduced their kids to each other, met each other’s families, and now realize they are each other’s forever.

Congratulations to Melissa and Ross, our online dating success couple, who proves that the big world-wide-web can make you feel like you’re at home when the right one comes along.

Read our other Cyber Love Stories

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Joanna Coles Has New Rules for Finding Love in the Digital Age

Dating should be simple in today’s device-attached world with singles overly glued to their smartphones.

Does this mean finding a love online should be as easy as a few right swipes?

With the enormous and colorful bouquet of singles using dating apps and those hanging their hats on dating sites, it’s a big, beautiful digital playground, but how do you find your needle in the digital haystack?

To help with the cause, Joanna Coles, former editor in chief of Cosmopolitan and current chief content officer of Hearst magazines, published a new set of rules to help singles find love IRL.

In her new book, Love Rules: How to Find a Real Relationship in a Digital World, Coles compares food and dating in a menu-style list of 15 new flavorful rules and advises singles to use their love calories wisely to have an overall healthy life.

I spoke recently spoke to Coles about her new book and why the search for ‘the one’ is so exhausting.

JS: In your book, you make the dating process more fun, by comparing it to a perfect delicious menu and going on a love diet. Why are food and dating so similar?

JC: I think food and dating are similar because we have huge appetites for both. We can’t live without them. When they are delicious, nothing tastes better. When they are junky and toxic, they put us down. You need to use your love calories wisely.

JS: How did you come up with this idea?

JC: I spent a lot of time at Cosmo hearing about dating apps and what they were doing to people. They were swiping endlessly to make a connection, but women were having lengthy text relationships and spending a month or more texting back-and-forth. Then when they’d meet, it was often a disappointment.

JS: What’s your opinion of dating apps?

JC: Dating apps help us meet more people you wouldn’t run up against, but it can feel transactional, like supermarket shopping. People are still searching and craving true intimacy. Dating apps are great as long as you don’t think you’ll find ‘the one.’ with one swipe. Let the app and algorithms do their work. They’re a wonderful arrow in your quiver and can greatly expand your social network.

JS: You believe singles should stop texting and get on the phone. Why is the phone date so important?

JC: The benefit of phone dates is enormous. People think they can fast-forward or microwave the first stages of the relationship. With texting, you get a false sense of intimacy that’s one-dimensional. When you move to a phone date, it takes it to two-dimensions. Singles bring so many expectations to these phone dates and real-life dates with the hope that they will be “the one.” You will know so much just by hearing the sound of their voice.

JS: You list 15 new rules or love hacks. What are you five favorite rules?

JC: 1. Stop with the comfort foods. It’s okay to be a little hungry.

Sleeping with an ex is like eating a doughnut at 4 pm. It’s easy to reach out into your past to get something sweet and familiar, but one hour later, you’re filled with remorse and are still hungry for the real nutrition.



The bottom line: You don’t have to sleep with your ex.

JC: 2. Hookups are like french fries.

There’s no such thing as a casual hookup. Once you have sex with people, feelings start getting involved. Hookups and french fries are both delicious in the moment, but you’ll wake up full of dater’s remorse.

The bottom line: It’s OK to have a hook-up every once in a while if you can handle it.

JC: 3. Porn is like chewing gum—all artificial flavor.

Porn sex is not real sex. It’s done from the viewfinder of the camera, and not from the point of what feels good. Eating ‘Chicken McNuggets’ because you’re hungry isn’t the same as eating organic chicken.

The bottom line: Porn isn’t a role model for intimacy.

JC: 4. Look for relationship role models.

Dating is like being on a job interview, where a future employer will ask, “Who’s your role model?” You know who your relationship role model is, but you’d never ask your date who their role model is.

To find your relationship role model, Coles suggests you jot down a list of couples you admire and those you see supporting each other. They could be your parents or a mentor. Share your relationship role model with your date. Then, ask your him or her who their role model is and listen to their answer.

The goal is to look for someone with similar qualities as your role model.

The bottom line: It’s a unique question to ask to determine your date’s values.

JC: 5. Life is a feast. Take your place at the table.

Embrace imperfection and find a mate who loves you for yours.

The bottom line: Finding love is like fine dining, where take the time to go through all of the courses on the menu.

Not everyone is perfect, but someone will be perfect for you.

The big takeaway from the book is to not solely on dating apps, to pick up the phone to hear the sound of someone’s voice, and to realize you’re on a journey to find love by creating a better quality and happier life. 

 CLICK HERE to purchase a copy of Love Rules.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

DATING STUDY: This One Thing Determines Romantic Chemistry

Plenty of Fish Survey Conversations

If I could have the magic wand to guarantee you’d have chemistry on a first date, I’d bottle it up and sell shares on the public market.

It’s quite likely most of you will assume that physical attraction is what results in that chemical attraction, right? Of course both men and women are physical and have a “type,” but did you know that the quality of your conversation ranks higher than physical looks when it comes to that magical feeling called chemistry?

A new Conversation Nation 2018 study released by online dating site Plenty of Fish found that singles still believe the quality of the conversation on the first date is critical to establishing meaningful connections.

Bad Grammar is worse than having bad sex

As a matter of fact, the study reveals that bad grammar is a bigger turn off than bad sex, as stated by 58% of singles. (Hint: Use spell-check, grammar, check, and watch out for auto-correct).

Since I believe singles need to give “good phone” as part of the digital courting process, I asked Celeste Headlee, conversation expert for POF to talk about the survey results and what singles should and shouldn’t talk about during a 20-minute phone date.

“Your first phone call might be focused on what kinds of things the other person likes to do,” said Headlee. For example, you can figure out what kind of date would make them happy.”

RELATED: 10 FIRST DATE IDEAS

Phone conversations are important. They will determine if you get to the first date or not. They aren’t meant to feel like a job interview or deposition, but often the conversations go off the track.

Study: Questions to Avoid in First Conversations

Headlee provided a few questions that will doom your first convo including:

“What are you doing?”

“What do you like?”

“What are you looking for?”

I’d like to add to avoid questions about your dating history or why your last relationship ended. You’d be surprised how talking about an ex ends up as a default question in the first conversation, and it’s an instant buzz-kill.

Ask These Specific Questions

Not sure what to ask? Headlee provided a few easy starters including:

“What’s your position on pizza crust? Thin or deep dish?”

By keeping your conversation light, it can also lead to information helpful for moving onto a first date.

I know from over two decades of coaching singles, that some love going on casual coffee dates, where they can gracefully exit after 20 minutes, while others prefer a casual lunch to get to know someone better.

RELATED: Should I Give My Online Date My Phone Number

“Your first conversation and first date are both focused on one thing according to Headlee. Would I enjoy a second date with this person?” She adds, “You’re both testing the compatibility at that point, so it’s important to be genuinely curious about the other person.

The study suggests avoiding a movie or concert date in favor of a date that will nurture the conversation, such as dinner, coffee, or drinks.

The best news of the study is that 60% of those surveyed believe you can fall in love during the first conversation, so it’s time to stop swiping and start chatting.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for 24 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Earth Day: Online Daters Find Environmentally-Friendly Singles a Turn-On

Earth Day
If you’re single, it’s time to celebrate Earth Day on April 22nd and to remember to be kind to the environment, recycle, and pick up the litter while on a date.

In a study over over 100,000 dating profiles conducted by online dating site Zoosk, they found the majority (91%) of singles really do care about the environment, with 58% who said dating someone who cares about being eco-friendly an attractive quality. We feel the same and you hope you do too.

In the Zoosk Earth Day study, they asked 5,100 singles about their love for the environment, along with ecological attitudes about those they’d be interested in dating.

Nix the Trash on Earth Day and Every Day

When it comes to trash, if you’re one who litters, you probably won’t get a second date.

The study showed that 74% find littering a deal-breaker, with 81% finding littering an annoying habit. So if you see garbage on the ground, it’s wise to pick it up and toss it away properly, as the survey revealed that 59% of singles say picking up litter is sexy.

Zoosk provided a list of eco-friendly words to add to your online dating profile to get a greater response.

The most popular words to start using now to generate a response on your dating profile include: reuse, organic, environment, farmers market, nature, earth, tree, forest, outdoors, hippie, plant, and wildlife.

RELATED: 7 Days to Celebrate Earth Day With Your Date

Online Dating Earth Day

Favorite Green Date Ideas

Thinking about suggesting an environmental-friendly date? 

The most popular green date ideas that online daters like include: going to the beach, going on a picnic, stargazing, visiting a local farmers market, or going on a hike.

So it’s time to fill your date cards with those who care about our beautiful earth, as 78% of singles responded that they’d like to date someone who cares about the environment and 51% prefer to date someone who’s energy efficient.

Wishing you much love and joy on this Earth Day.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert.  She was an early adopter of Internet and mobile dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles dating programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

eHarmony Survey Says Over Half of Couples are Very Happy

eHarmony Happiness

Just how happy are couples in 2018?

A new poll commissioned by eHarmony and led by Harris Interactive shows good news for millennial couples.

“The Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America” of 1000 couples reveals that 64 percent of Americans are “very happy” in their romantic relationships, with a partner or spouse with almost half being happy with their sex lives as well.

For an online dating site that has the sole goal of creating couples for long term relationships or marriage, the news is good that love and intimacy are thriving.

I spoke with Jeannie Assimos, Vice President, Content for eHarmony, who said the quality of people is very high on their site. “The intention is for our members to be there and spend time and thought into it,” said Assimos. ” Our singles are invested in finding a relationship.”

With Over 70% logins on their mobile app, you no longer have to answer 250 questions as a member, however Assimos says the matches will be better if you answer more questions. 

RELATED: 7 Quotes for Happiness Day

How did eHarmony describe perfectly happy?

Relationship status

“Tend to be on their first marriage, and they married young (‘for love’) while being very well
acquainted with their spouse/partner prior to marriage … seemingly they spent time getting to know each other first. They are likely to be exactly the same age and share many interests.”

● More likely than average to be married
● Their relationship length is significantly shorter than average
● Married at a younger than average age but knew their spouse for longer than average
before they got married
● Much more likely than average to be their first marriage
● Standard reasons for marrying (most likely ‘for love’)
● More likely than average to be in love with their spouse/partner and satisfied with their
relationship

Things they do together as a couple

“They participate in lots of activities with their spouse/partner, and have a shared interest in sports and keeping fit. Despite having kids, they make time for their relationship with regular date nights and they are not shy about displaying their happiness, being more likely to hold hands than other couples.”

RELATED: 5 Ways to Create a Great Date Night

● Team sports
● Gym/exercise classes
● Camping
● Game nights
● Particularly likely to have regular date nights and hold hands when they are out together

So keep those date nights scheduled on your calendar, even if you’re taking turns cooking a romantic meal for each other.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook

SIGN UP for the Free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Julie Spira – ABC News – Valentine’s Survival Guide

 

With Valentine’s Day just a week away, I sat down with ABC-7’s Coleen Sullivan and Ellen Leyva with a Valentine’s Survival Guide to get you to and through the most romantic day of the year.

Can you find love online in time for Valentine’s Day?

I say yes! With the convenience of your mobile phone, we’ll have you chatting and dating in a digital split second.

Here are 10 Tips to Help You Survive Valentine’s Day With a Hug and a Smile

  • Sign up for a Mobile Dating AppUse your Facebook photos to create a new profile and say “love is in the air.” Have a friend or a dating coach like myself help you with your profile.

 

  • Become a serial dater – This is the time I give you permission to date up a storm. Schedule one date a day until Valentine’s Day. Double-down and schedule two dates a day, where one will surely rise to the top and be worthy of a second date.

 

  • Use Premium Features – Match shows you peak times, where their Top Spot feature will show your profile to get the most visibility for just a few hours. OkCupid’s Boost feature will do the same for 15 minutes.

 

  • Give your date a card – A hand signed card or a love note will warm his or her heart for all dating stages.

 

  • Don’t forget Flowers Two billion dollars will be spent on Valentine’s Day flowers this year. Bring one long-stemmed rose or a dozen tulips to have the same effect, while not breaking the bank.

 

  • Say ‘I Love You’ – If you’re relationship is moving forward, there’s no better time to profess your love than on Valentine’s Day.

 

  • Choose In-Room Dining or Cook a Meal Together – If you’ve waited too long to make a reservation at his or her favorite place, pick up some prepared meals at the grocery store, or ingredients for a spicy romantic dinner. Remember to bring candles.

 

  • The gift of time – Valentine’s Day is about spending quality time together, and there’s not better gift than just being together.

 

  • Valentine’s Breakups – It’s not a great idea, but if your relationship has been sliding downhill since the past holiday season, have a talk with your significant other, sooner rather than later. Valentine’s Day can be filled with pressure, so be kind about it and if you’re going to call it quits, do so in person, and not on the phone, email, or in a text message.

 

  • Singles Awareness Day is on February 15th – If you’re not in the mood to find a Valentine and hate the holiday, there’s no need to fret. The day after will be a holiday to celebrate your single status.

Don’t let the pressure get to you about Valentine’s Day. Some people are still paying off their credit cards from December gift giving. A study shows that 54% plan to spend less than $100 and only 10% of singles spend over $250 on Valentine’s Day.

A survey from OneHourTranslation.com of over 4000 people around the world, showed that 31% plan to purchase their gifts online this year, so there’s still time to send something romantic to your Valentine or digital crush.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and is an award-winning dating coach who’s been helping singles on finding love online for over 24 years. 

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

 

 

5 Tips to ROCK Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday - Cyber Dating Expert

What’s all the buzz about Dating Sunday?

With the New Year and love on the minds of many singles, Match and other dating sites have predicted the first Sunday after New Year’s as the busiest time of the year for activity. The EXACT time you should be logging on for love is at 8:55pm/ET, 5:55pm/PT.

Area you ready for the world’s largest digital love fest?

RELATED: Watch Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on ABC News on Dating Sunday

Here are some tips to make the most of Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday Tip #1: Don’t be Shy: I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal,” so go ahead and make the first move. Check out who has viewed your profile and reply back the same day. If you don’t respond, someone else will.

Dating Sunday Tip #2. Get Ready to Push. Log onto your mobile dating app profile and check your settings. Make sure your push notifications are set to ON, so you’ll get notified if your digital crush responds to you and then start swiping, big time.

Dating Sunday Tip #3. Upload New Photos and Smile! It’s a new year, so replace your existing profile photos with some new fun shots. The built-in cameras are terrific on mobile phones now, so have a friend help take new photos of you, or hire a professional to look your best. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we have photographers we work with and we’ll make sure your profile is date-worthy when we create your Irresistible Profile.

Dating Sunday Tip #4. Log On Frequently. Your soulmate can’t find you if you’re invisible. Log on twice daily to keep your profile active, especially in the evening during peak traffic hours, and take time to see who has viewed your profile or liked your photos.

Dating Sunday Tip #5: Fill Your Bucket List. Match has a great feature called, the bucket list, where you can list the things you’ve been dreaming about doing. If you like hiking, say you hike on weekends, but would love to hike Mt. Kilamanjaro someday. You might not make it to the top of the mountain, but you will easily fill your date card with those who also enjoy hiking. If you’d love to go on a safari in Africa, add it to your bucket list. You might meet someone who’s been there and can’t wait to show you his or her photos, or better yet, you just might end up there with someone you meet online.

Singles will be looking for love online in record numbers, exactly at 8:55pm/ET on Sunday, January 7th. Remember, 1 in 3 relationships start online, so you’ll be in good company and peak season is happening now, through Valentine’s Day.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for Dating Advice Delivered to Your InBox

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

Put on Your Seat Belts – Break Up Season is Here

facebook breakup heart If your relationship status isn’t as steady as glue, put on your seat belts as breakup season is here.  Now through Christmas Eve, if you’re in a rocky relationship, as you may become one of the holiday statistics.

The famous Facebook breakup chart from David McClandess, which was released a few years ago, spread like wildfire over the Internet. Based on a study of profile updates with the words “breaking up” and “breakup” it was proven that the two weeks leading up to Christmas showed a peak for those bidding farewell to their current love interest.

Facebook Breakup Chart

Although couples were given ample time to prepare for holiday breakups, we were told that the period of December 11 – 24th would be a peak period for relationships to dissolve. Fortunately, Christmas day isn’t a popular day to say “au revoir” to your beau. The research on Facebook status updates was based on search words for breakup and breaking up.

RELATED: BREAKING UP: 12 SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE GETTING DUMPED

So why has breaking up become such a hot topic this holiday season? The time leading up to a major holiday or event for a couple can be very stressful. Along with birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and anniversaries, the Christmas season is a time where you show the world that you are a couple. It also involves a financial investment, and with today’s economy, many singles aren’t willing to invest in an expensive gift if they know the relationship is about to run its course.

RELATED: FACEBOOK EASES THE PAIN DURING A BREAKUP

Unfortunately, breaking up has become a little too easy to do. Saying goodbye in an email, text, or changing your Facebook status relationship change has become more popular for those who don’t want to get slapped in the face. Don’t be surprised if you find out your current love interest has reactivated their online dating profile in the coming weeks. Then again, sometimes it’s good to say, “Out with the old, in with the new.”

RELATED: DEADLY BREAKUP OBSESSIONS

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Online Dating Profiles. For dating advice, follow Julie on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

RELATED: THE TEXT MESSAGE BREAKUP: WHO’S DOING IT?

Let’s Talk About Food – Zoosk Survey Reveals What Singles Should Order on a Date

via GIPHY

Let’s talk about food. It’s Thanksgiving week, which means that Christmas will be here in a digital minute.

With all of the food consumption going on during the holidays and with singles dating up a storm in ‘cuffing season,’ our friends at Zoosk decided to survey 7000 singles to gauge their feelings about the most popular food to eat on a date.

If you’re planning on perusing a menu, or cooking up a storm for your date, here are some surprising facts about food and online dating, to help you decide what to order on date night, or write in your profile to get more messages.

Food Fact 1: Guacamole is the Most Popular in a Profile. 

Food - guacamole

While you might think mentioning chocolate would get the most responses, it actually ranked at number three. While analyzing over 3.7 million dating profiles and more than 364 million first messages, those who mentioned “guacamole” in their profile received 144% more messages. Who knew that mashed avocados would be so sexy? In between the guacamole and chocolate, potatoes ranked at number two, with 101% more messages.

Food Fact 2: Fried Chicken and Yams are the Worst To Mention in a Profile.

via GIPHY

If you’ve got a craving for fried chicken or yams, don’t order it on a date, list it in your profile, or cook it for your date. The Zoosk survey found mentioning yams resulted in a 70% decrease in inbound messages, with fried chicken ranking with a 15% decrease.

Food Fact 3: Foodies are Sexy.

via GIPHY

While saying you’re a “foodie” can sound as cliché as “taking a beach” walk or going from “jeans to black tie,” it’s true that the way to a man’s heart is often through his stomach. With that in mind, if you really love unique restaurants and keep up on the latest food trends, say so. The survey found profiles that include the word “foodie” receive 82% more incoming messages, while those who mention the word “cook” receive 26% more incoming messages.

Food Fact 4: Seafood is the Most Popular Food to Order on a Date.

via GIPHY

Have a dinner date? If you love seafood, you’re at the top of the list. The survey showed that seafood ranked the highest at 19% for online daters for their favorite date-night food, while steak came in as a close second at 18%. Does sushi count as seafood? Well, almost. Sushi ranked at number 5 at 8%.

Food Fact 5: Chocolate Covered Strawberries are Still the Sexiest.

via GIPHY

When I cook a romantic dinner, often I will pick up chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. Next to feeding each other crème brûlée, it’s the most romantic dessert I know of, and the Zoosk survey agreed with 34% ranking it as number one. Wine and cheese came in second place at 28%. There’s no need to get too fancy, as caviar ranked at the bottom of the list at 1%.

Click here for complete details on the Zoosk survey.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

FIND OUT how Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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Dating in a Political World

Dating in a Trump World

It was one year ago today, when like most others, I was glued to the television watching the results of the Clinton versus Trump election. In my hand, as I sat solo in my family room, was my iPhone. Like others, I was busy texting election results back-and-forth with my friends.

Most of us had expected Hillary Clinton to win the election and it would be a historical day for America to have our first female President.

As the night went on, many of us were stunned as the electoral college results came in. With Florida and Ohio in the Trump camp, shock waves hit across the country and throughout the world.

None of us were prepared for the outcome.

Some were thrilled with the news of Donald Trump becoming the next president, while others literally cried and started to worry about our country.

How this relates to dating is huge.

As a dating and relationship coach, the biggest dating divide I’ve ever experienced in the history has been this past election, along with the year that has passed since election day.

Mashable reports that a single man on Tinder has been using a new technique which he calls “Trumping” to reject dates he’s not interested in anymore.

Dan, the Trumping guy, sends a message to his matches saying he voted for Trump, instead of telling them he isn’t interested, or taking the coward’s way out of ghosting, which has plagued over 90% of millennials.

RELATED: Will Online Daters Support Trump? See What the POF Survey Says

Meanwhile, conservatives are still bashing Clinton and liberals don’t want to date Trump supporters. Being on opposite ends of the political spectrum is a passion that just isn’t sexy in Trump’s America.

Other data shows existing relationships became strained with the election results. I predicted in my Huffington Post column that many relationships would end between Inauguration Day and Valentine’s Day, and now know this to be a fact.

RELATED: Post Inauguration Breakups: Differing Politics Are Destroying Relationships

The truth is, it’s not about being liberal or conservative. It’s not even about who one voted for, as much as it’s about values. Values are the core of what makes a couple click and what helps them stick together during the inevitable bumps on the road.

Whether it’s family values or walls being built, singles have a lot to say these days, with politics topping the list of deal-breakers.

While I think things have calmed down a bit, with singles and couples agreeing to disagree, it’s been a challenging time for the love world.

RELATED: Does Politics Help or Hurt Your Relationship

Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and chief science officer at Match agrees and tell me, “Maybe couples should have a little system of a time out, where one person says one thing.”

An adult time-out. Maybe this will ease the tension of dating in a Trump world.

Here’s how it works.

“He gets two minutes to say that one thing and then the other person gets two minutes to say theirs,” explains Fisher. “Then they go into the bedroom and don’t talk about it, or they go and play a game, or do something to change the brain.”

Fisher believes something as simple as taking a bike ride will bump up the dopamine system and will reduce the pain in your relationship.

From my view, people are definitely more passionate about their political views these days. Watching the news or scrolling through tweets has given us a 24-hour reality show. Having a voice on social media is now a license to post public rants in one direction or another, resulting in the deterioration of many friendships.

How does this relate to love one year later?

For me, I’ve been glued to the news in a more magnified way and I know others feel the same. As a dating coach, I encourage political conversations to be brought to the front in a kind manner, without people attacking each other. If it’s true that love will find a way, remember why you fell in love in the first place.

It’s time to return to the time when a lively debate made an interesting topic for a date.

Let’s not bring war into the bedroom.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles for over 23 years on finding love online.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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